Monday, 8 January 2018

Celebrity Big Brother 2018: You were attracted to a Dalek?

We did an epic podcast last night, woo. Check it out if you have a spare three hours. Yes, three hours.
I think I might be getting a bit sick of gender talk now. Can we have some other storylines please? But that might be because I talked about it for three hours, right.
India and John are talking about guys coming out in football. That's why I don't like football. It closets people. India is living in la la land if she thinks a gay footballer will get a standing ovation.
Andrew calling gay people 'weak' basically saying being gay could be considered a sign of weakness? Why! Are gay players not going to be able to kick straight? Are women footballers too busy doing their hair?
I like Shane (Courtney's) sex tales. Shane says Courtney is more than an act, it's 'part of her gender expression.' That's interesting.
India's vagina works and she can orgasm. She was watching Doctor Who on Christmas Day and got a flutter down there while looking at a Dalek. Whatever floats your boat! Festive fun. Interesting hearing the difference between the male and female orgasm from someone who's had both.
Rachel is looking for the next step of what to do in her life. Oh, Ann actually gave Rachel a compliment saying what she does is just as valid as her brothers. Fuck me.
Shane Lynch doing the Stephen Gately tales. I'll never forget Jan Moir and how she spoke about him in the Daily Mail. Absolutely unforgivable and despicable. She basically said he died because of drugs (not true) and asked for it because he was gay. Disgusting. I do genuinely wish an early death on her for that.
What is this task? Oh they're all telling embarrassing stories. I can't write all these down. Ann is not too happy with stories about shitting yourself. Big Brother people are obsessed with shitting and pissing.
Oh, they have to tell who's lying! I always miss the task instructions and get lost halfway! I need Gaz here to help me.
The Michael Jackson impersonating was fun. I could live without all this wank talk as well. This feels like boring barrel scraping Big Brother to me, like one of the bad old seasons past.
Ginuwine is hating on Trump. Ann of course, hates Hillary, because she hates all women.
Andrew is getting dragged up. He wants a 'PC' drag name for Ann's benefit. 'Betty Swallocks' doesn't sound THAT PC. to be honest.
India saying 'before it turns up' about Andrew as a drag queen. India doesn't want it to look homophobic that she doesn't want to see a straight man in drag. Um? Malika is right, India could just go in another room, but she'd rather have the storyline. Dapper: 'I have a phobia of ex Love Island contestants.' That was actually half funny.
How strong is that sellotape? I can't even get a plaster to stick to my foot. Andrew's ass cheeks are stuck together cos he's taped his dick between his legs, ha. 'It's going to hurt when it comes off.'
Andrew does look good in drag. India is pretending she's freaked out. She is a serious attention seeker. Jess and Rachel are right to comment. Mind you, I have an actual phobia, and I could not confront it, and other people would find it irrational and call me stupid, so there you go.
I do think India is insane. But I feel protective over her because of how much shit she gets on Twitter.
Andrew seems very comfortable in drag. I like the fact he enjoys looking ten out of ten, ha.
Andre is taking his make up off to appease nutty India. That's nice of him. Ooh, I wouldn't relish pulling that tape off. Ebay?
Andrew just spoke to India like she was five. But then she is acting like she's five, so. It's getting really hard to defend her, except against transphobia. She is acting up a lot.
Dapper thinks one of the guys should get with Jess, because he wants to but can't.
Ashley is talking to Ginuwine about her future career and how she wants to have a baby. Number 10? You could be stepmum to one of his?
Ginuwine wants more kids! How the fuck does he keep track of nine! With five women, I think I heard on the radio today. Dog!
India comes back to the living room with mascara all down her face. 'I'm not a special type of woman. I'm a woman.' Malika walks off. India doesn't like people laughing at a man dressed as a woman. Actually, if you put it like that, it makes more sense.
India is driving Malika up the wall, ha. Malika is right though, India was given the option to leave the room.
India is comparing drag queens to the black and white minstrels. Oh fuck. You can see Ginuwine trying to understand what the fuck is going on.
Andrew: 'I'm a hetrosexual male but I'm camp as fuck.' His eyebrows look very well groomed for a straight man. He's cute, though. I see his side, he was breaking boundaries for himself as a straight man. He actually made a good point, too. God, these people are at such cross purposes. It's exhausting.
India accusing the men as not seeing her a woman. They haven't said anything to suggest that. 'It's what you think in your head.' How the fuck does she know what they're thinking! Mad. I would be livid if someone presumed my thoughts to me! The truth is, they're the thoughts inside India's head.
India: 'On your bike!'
Andrew: 'Dickhead, fuck you, you prick.' Not a nice way to talk to a woman, is it? Nasty side to Andrew at the end there and he's dumb because he did have the moral high ground. And that's what good about characters like India and Ann. They bring out the side of you Andrew doesn't want you to see.

1 comment:

RenThraysk said...

Missed the beginning... a Dalek?

I guess anything is a dildo if you try hard enough, including sink plungers.