Friday, 5 January 2018

Celebrity Big Brother 2018: Who's the man with a plan?

Who's the man? Brandon Flowers, collecting his royalties. So will the show be royally butchered when the men go in? Let's see.
I like Emma's furry sequinned coat but not her crappy windswept hair.
Standard Big Brother twerking and slut dropping. Have they not even dabbed yet? So retro.
Amanda calling India 'he'. That's Ann, Rachel and Amanda who's done it now. Not acceptable.
Amanda was not very apologetic. Ann: 'An apology is always enough.' Who the fuck are YOU to say that! It's NOT for you to judge it. You're not transgender!
Eek, gone right off Amanda in two seconds flat. She did not sound sorry at all. Ann chipping in with her two pence worth, yuck.
Ah, Amanda is drunk. Fuck Rachel too, saying India's reaction was 'performative.' Fuck these old bitches. Bigots. Gross. Ann just stirs it up. Poisonous.
India having to tell them she's a real woman. They will never understand. They will never get it. Small minded. I can't believe how much hate India is getting on Twitter. I don't know why! I think she's good! I think she's in the right. Even my mum tweeted me that 'India is getting nasty.' How! She's no Phelan!
Sad piano/ guitar music. India hiding in the garden under a blankie. Imagine going through all that and having people just call you 'he' still. How undermined must you feel.
Side note: I like Amanda's orange coat.
Ooh then men are going in already!
John Barnes the footballer is first in. I have never minded him as far as footballers go. And I hate 99% of footballers. I like his crappy song.
Yuck, I hate these inside interviews! Annoying. Save it for the eviction. John is anti homophobia and racism and judges people based on their character. I hope so! Minorities should support each other.
John Barnes- the new Ziggy.
Next in is Courtney Act, a feminist vegan drag queen. I loved his description of himself. He looks great as a woman. I love his name too. I don't know anything about him but I know people are excited about him going in. He's Australian! Interesting.
Confusing hashtags - are we calling him Shane or Courtney! The difference is, it doesn't matter like it does with India.
OMG Courtney falling over. And no pants! Best entrance since Gary Busey. I don't care if it was fake, it was amazing. It did look like he tripped on his dress. No pants and covering up his junk. Oh my. I'm speechless. Rewound this at least five times. Emma was cracking up. Wish I'd been in the audience for that.
Next up Shane Lynch. 'I think the world is disgusting for the way they treat women.' Me too! You can open doors for men and women though, Shane. Shane has been watching! He knows the house dynamics. Can't we just call him Shane and Courtney Courtney? I can't deal with another Luke A/ Luke S situation.
Next in is Jonny Mitchell. 'Feminism has gone too far. - no point being a feminist then saying you don't want to split the bill.' Good point. He looks like Bo Baskoro, a singer I like, haaa. Nice for a villian to have a lisp. Good for the podcast, haaaa. He's gotta be from Essex! I do think he's not bad looking despite the hair.
Next in is Dapper Laughs who said women are 'gagging to be raped.' Oh, he's trying to be a reformed character. Emma: 'It's time to hear him out.' Fuck off! Oh he's had a baby girl, let's hope she never gets raped. Did he just make a joke about his dead dad fiddling his baby? Oh you've got a dead dad and you've had a baby. Fuck off!
So we have to call him Daniel now. Ha, and now he's bragging about being given loads of money! NICE. He even looks like a complete cunt. Jamie O Hara vibes!
Ooh John Barnes looked a bit uncomfortable when Dapper came in! Interesting. I would grill the fuck out of him! And he goes straight to Ann and talks to her. I can't believe there's no live feed tonight! Fail.
And we're back. Nice to see Dapper Laughs getting cheered by the crowd, isn't it?
Next in is Wayne Sleep. I don't know much about him but the older gay trope can be quite entertaining... as long as it's not Louis Spence. He's already friends with Amanda. I like the fact he's five foot two. So am I! He's dancing on the way in. I hope he's fun.
Who's drunk all the champagne! I'd be fuming.
Andrew from the Apprentice is cute. Looks a bit gay though. Feminism means women should spoon men. Yes, that's the cause we're fighting for. Look at his shoes with no socks and meggings though. And his friends in their coats. Shameful. He does seem quite friendly though.
Ok, I'm drunk now. Next in is Ginuwine. I do remember his song Pony now I just replayed it on YouTube. Does he know what 'pony' means in the UK? He looks a bit greasy. Sisquo! Fatman Scoop! I loved Fatman Scoop though. I think he's more Sisquo that Fatman Scoop. Racist! I just called Fatman Scoop 'Fatboy Scoop' on Twitter because I'm drunk. That's like the worst mash up ever. Right here! Right now!
So only the women can vote and the women have to assign roles for the men to do. Haaa! So the men have to crawl to them. Dapper Laughs for toilet cleaner!
Again, criminal there's no live feed now. Yes, I am still beating that drum. When we visited the house, they had channels for different rooms, so they COULD show it, if they wanted. But they don't. They burnt their own house down.

1 comment:

n.k. said...

n.k. says....I bet from behind,when his skirt fell off,the crowd got A lovely empowering view of his fruit bowl!!!