Celebrity Big Brother 2017: I don't know what the public wanted from me

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So I'm back, baby, for the first eviction. I hope it's not Marissa! She does't deserve to be up. Or Trisha, but that goes without saying. I also hope it's not Karthik for obvious reasons, although I don't like him as a person generally (just dropped my lady card there), I felt for him as a human trying to reason with an erratic, racist, ranting and orange Paul Danan.
I have been enjoying the series on the whole so far EXCEPT Jordan and Sam's pathetic friendship AND the Chad/ Amelia and Sam 'love triangle.' I have been entertained by Sarah Harding's meltdowns and the racist and sexist bits because it's real world stuff, not fake reality BS. That's the Big Brother I enjoy.
Emma looks a bit 'end of pier Elvis' tonight, not great following last week's vavavoom. 
Karthik and Chad both getting heavy boos.
Have you noticed Sarah has a fake posh DR voice like when you're on the phone at work?
I'm not sure what Danan is even moaning about when he says Sarah took it too far. Sarah: 'I have eyes in the back of my head and one beady eye on Paul.' Is that one from the back of your head or one of your front two? Eww, Sarah's cats pee on things. That's unusual cat behaviour. Cats don't normally do that unless they're old or ill. Get Jackson Galaxy in.
Jordan is bitching because Marissa said she openly wanted a showmance with him. His fake principles make me lol. He wanted a 'real casual kiss.' What even is that? A kiss is just a kiss, Jordan! Then: 'My nan always said why stick to one book when you have a library?' Is your nan a goer, Jordan? Paul: 'she was never going to move to Wales' before perving on Marissa's 'box splits' (eww).
Ha, they just played the first clip again because they're dumbos. I'm surprised Emma could style it out so well without her cue cards.
I really want to get on board with Karthik but he's annoying as fuck. Marissa's accent is amazing! I feel like they just put a different chip in her. 'These people aren't going to be your friends.' I believe it when she says it, unlike when Josie said it. 'Sometimes you have to flex to get respect.'
Paul went down to Compton 'why do you think' and pretended he had a gun in his pocket. 'I mean, Iove NWA and all that.' Tsk, white people!
Derek is asking Sarah about 'the Irish one' from Girls Aloud. Sarah: 'Yeah we FaceTime.' At least SHE'S not in the house. That accent only works on Jamie Dornan. Sarah, just say they're a bunch of cunts and none of them speak to you anymore, we don't care. In fact, we'd like you more.
Jemma is bitter (not glitter) because Sarah once had a career but now she's just like them, with a month free in the summer.
Oh I remembered why Paul is upset now, cos she said about him being an addict. Does Paul Danan still drink, or is he still drunk from back in the day?
Sandi is getting so little airtime! Ooh, Sandi is saying Sarah is 'drinking and behaving in a certain manner.' How long before they show this on the screens.
Sarah: 'I'm trying to change people's perceptions of me.' Paul: 'Then don't drink then.' If Paul Danan is telling you this, listen. Paul: 'You wouldn't drink on a job.' Maybe she would. Sarah drinks 'in moderation'. She obviously needs it to cope. Paul: 'You're going to get that mash up..' Mash up, ha. 90s talk! Paul is worried that he made a fool of himself on Love Island. You're making a fool of yourself now, fucknut. Paul: 'I see myself in you.' Maybe he is trying to help her, in his own way? I'm not sure, but I think he might be. Twitter says otherwise but if you're an alcoholic you CAN'T have one drink, that's the point. One leads to two, just ask George Galloway.
How can Paul be sober yet still sound so fucking drunk?! Telling Amelia to have a rebound relationship with Sam. Please don't.
Sam saying Marissa wore tighter clothes and cuddled up to Jordan to stave off eviction. Sam wouldn't mind her cuddling up to him, though.
Marissa 'just wants to vibe' with Jordan and be in the moment (and then in the magazine deal). Jordan: 'It sounded like you just might be using me.' I'm sure a lot of guys would love to be used by her, what is this idiot's problem? Did he want to marry all of the 1,500 girls he shagged? Was he 'just using' any of them? Tool.
Chad booed, Karthik booed, Marissa half and half, Sarah cheered (and emotional), Trisha booed. I like Trisha's glittering sea cape. Chic!
Safe are Trisha, Chad and Sarah! So it's either Karthik or Marissa to go. I hope it's not Karthik now, argh.
Karthik has his coat in his hand. I wish I'd voted for him now. Lol, someone in the crowd shouted 'get Paul out' and Paul went 'alright dude'.
Marissa got evicted! Trisha's face at that point was a picture, lol. In fact, I'll use that as my picture. Karthik 'what the hell?' Marissa: 'I fucking knew it.' Oh well, fuck that showmance. Let's have some more racism for me to get angry about, it's more interesting. At least the public voted the right way.
Marissa is dragging her feet. You're gonna get no interview at this rate. Ooh, Marissa ia grumpy. I actually voted to save her but then regretted it, haha.
Marissa looks stunning but is a bad loser, and I guess we're tired of showmances. Self proclaimed underdog. You weren't!
'I didn't know what the public wanted from me' and nor should you! You have no fanbase out here. Ooh, that is true, Barry put her up. I don't think she would have been up otherwise.
Emma mentioning the American version like she knows. She doesn't know these BB streets.
I like Emma's glittery eye make up. Marissa's lip is twitching like she wants to cry.
Hopefully this is a trend, that we'll get rid of the dull showmancers. I would love to see Sam get the boot next.
Marissa: 'Do you guys want something to happen?' about her and Jordan. Will you fuck him if we ask you to? Honestly, make up your own mind!
And then going 'should I have started arguments?' Argh! No! Just be normal.
Ooh this end bit with Jordan still carping about the magazine deal and it not being 'real'. You're riddled! Stop acting, you little bitch!
I do think it's a shame to lose Marissa, but it's a shame to lose most people at this point. The person we really don't want to lose? Paul Danan. Yep, you heard right. We need the madness.
Our latest CBB podcast is here for those who listen! BB19 coming tomorrow.