Wednesday 3 February 2010

C4: Tower Block of Commons

Exitainment is back and gone high brow (ish). After the cheap winter thrill of CBB, we're back to cheap documentaries and soaps. And a friend recommended I watch this. I'm pleased it's on channel 4 rather than the BBC, as this is the sort of programme the BBC messes up, big time. The only good documentaries the BBC has, are presented by Louis Theroux.
The premise is simple; MPs go live in a tower block to see how their 'voters' live. As if people on council estates vote. As if anyone votes.
It's a bit like Secret Millionaire, but with arseholes. Ian Duncan Smith! IDS! Not just as good as William Hague. Where's he hiding his personality? Tim Loughton, I don't even know who that is. Austin Mitchell I think came to a work thing of mine. Nah, it weren't him. Mark Oaten (Lib Dems) didn't so much come out of the closet but got blasted out by the tabloids. But he only fucked those rent boys because he was having a bad time at work and was feeling a bit depressed. He's not gay! NOT. GAY.
He thinks he's going to have to 'eat McDonalds and watch Coronation Street'. Sweet! Sign me up. Oh, I'm already signed up.
CHOG! (Chav dog) spotted. Whoever designed the council block Mark Oaten went to was some sadistic fucker. It was desolate. Not all bad though, Kathy, his host, has a telly roughly six times bigger than mine. Mark Oaten has a swimming pool! He probably goes out for a sauna.
Tim Laughton (Conservative) went to stay with a single mum, Natina. Ian Duncan Smith went to stay with the rather glamorous Charise. He patronised her mega! 'Do you know what Big Ben is?' Fuck off!
Austin took his wife Linda along, but refused to stay with the common people, instead renting their own council flat. He and his wife revealed themselves to be cunts of the first order in about the first 5 seconds of seeing them.
Selina, their hook up, had a lucky escape that he's not stopping with her. So THIS is where Jeremy Kyle's guests live. It's a bit sad, really. No wonder a night in a hotel seems worth getting him shouting in your face.
Actually though, everyone kept their houses really nice, furniture-wise. I guess they would, if they stay in them all day.
Austin bought a jacket from 'TJ Maxx!' Just as good.
Tim Loughton gives me the creeps. He's like some dark character being played by Adam Buxton on a very bad day. Tory scum! I wonder why people don't like you. Yay, he's getting stick about the expenses scandal, hehe. The guy berating him was quite eloquent! There IS a two-tier system; they steal and get away with it. Haha, then he got accosted by a chavalanche at the local shops!
I like Charise! She's cute. She's giving IDS the runaround.
OMG the mould in Kathy's bathroom! Health and safety! That's totally unacceptable. A shit in the corridor! Lush. Then some chavs said 'aint you the one who got done by the rent boys, you got AIDS!' and Mark Oaten went and cried in a field. Oh dear. Try living there. I liked Kathy saying 'he'll need a noose by the end of the week' quite cheerfully.
Charise and her mates giving IDS a load of shit was funny! Asking him about oral sex! LOLs.
Ha, Natina put Tim on babysitting duty and said 'I swear down if you mess this up you'll be dead meat'.
Mark Oaten; there's nothing wrong with being gay, or even (gosh!) bi! Just admit it and we'll all get along much better. It's the lying that's the bad part.
OMG Ian Duncan Smith dropped out! His wife got cancer... convenient (!) Aw that's a shame, I liked Charise the best. He had the best deal there. Tory fail.
Natina and Tim arguing about his clothes was quite funny. I wasn't feeling his shoes either.
Austin seemed to think that it was funny Selina was on methadone. I wonder what that methadone tastes like? Yum yum. Austin and his wife are totally useless. It's scary that someone who knows nothing about drugs could be influencing drug policy. Shut up about your newspaper, dumbass. And then comparing a heroin addiction to having a glass of wine was just tasteless. That woman is so out of touch it's offensive. OMG Austin said he previously thought the drug's problem was 'folklore'! WTF. Then his stupid wife admitted she used to be hooked on prescription meds! Hypocrite. That prescription meds thing is the biggest crock; people popping all those nasty painkillers complaining about people doing E or weed. At least ecstasy and dope do what they says on the label (OK, illegal drugs don't have labels, but they are aptly named).
Drinking tea and smoking fags all day long sounds like my boyfriend's idea of heaven!
Natina seemed quite hard, I felt for her. It's life that makes you like that. No; it's pain.
Mark Oaten actually seems OK (I know that's the point, because it's a PR stunt), at least he tried to help Kathy rather than scurrying off.
I don't think I've actually seen Tim Laughton walking round on that estate. He's just hiding indoors! Ah he finally went out to a party! Bless him, at least he tried, he looked like a fish out of water. His dancing was hilarious! He must have been mash up by that point. I warmed to him a little at the end.
OMG this in for a another few weeks. It's worth a look, you know, just a little one.
But for the real hardcore; the decent TV starts tomorrow on BBC Three. We got a new series of Snog Marry Avoid, followed by a programme called 'Hotter than My Daughter' which I'm sure is just as good as Date My Mom, followed by a programme on tanning presented by Nicola Roberts (yeah the ugly/ ginger one- oh I forgot, she's not ugly any more. She's FASHION, darling). Now THAT'S a night's viewing.

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