Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Nicola Roberts: The Truth about Tanning

Well, it's a step up from Natalie Cassidy, I guess. Soz I'm late on this one. I've been working hard- which doesn't suit me.
I've never understood the appeal of orange; I've always been the emo kid (well, greebo as it was called back in my day), so pale has always been beautiful to me. I was brought up on Hole's Miss World video, and I wanted face powder as white as Courtney's, and got some, from Stargazer in Camden (where else, the same place you get your stripey socks and pots of Directions hair dye in a rainbow of shades) And nothing has changed. I like complexions like Kelly Osbourne or Dita Von Teese; porcelain white. Tans= Jordan. It also equals hard work when you live in England. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend came back from a holiday in LA once and looked like something off the OC. He looked healthily handsome. We enjoyed it for about three days, and then it was gone. That's how it is to be English- deal with it.
Nicola Roberts big eyebrows are cool! She looks like someone's just dug her up in her cream lace, and I mean that as a compliment. She's like Margaret Thatcher crossed with a sparrow. I'd like to be a little twiggy sparrow like her. I like her pale ginger hair too, I might go for a bit of that at some point.
She looked rubbish with a tan. Gingers aren't meant to have tans. My mum's ginger so I've got the ginger gene, and I know.
It's funny hearing her talk about wanting to 'fit in'- I can't relate to that at all. I've ALWAYS wanted to be different, to look different to everyone else. I'm probably quite boring now by comparison but at least if I go for a haircut, you'll know about it, I don't just get an inch trimmed off and expect you to notice. It's good to make a statement with your appearance.
Nicola went to visit some idiot bloke who uses sunbeds for 28 minutes a day, and then spray tans himself. He made David Dickinson look like Darnell off Big Brother (if you're working for this joke, you need to stoop to my level). But he's just come out the closet, he's allowed to go a bit mental, Dan Savage taught me this. Oh hold on, he's now 26, and came out of the closet at 18, scratch that.
Snack update: Yum, Morrisons cola bottles are lush, they taste just like petrol.
Nicola's hair is amazing! How does she get it to stay sideways like that? I like her, actually, I've never really seen her talk before. I liked her asking that guy to stop injecting himself with beta carotene, or whatever it was. I think age has made her wiser. She was quite strict with him!
True Romance music! That makes me want to watch Medium instead of crap BBC3 docs. Actually, this isn't crap, it's better than I thought it would be.
OMG they are playing Moz! 'In my life why do I give valuable time to people who I'd much rather kick in the eyeeeeeeeeee?' Cool! Heat is murder? (laboured).
Next Nicola went to the cancer ward, and to the sunbed shops. It was interesting that a lot of sunbed shops are in areas of deprivation; I guess because it's a cheap 'treat'. Have they never seen Final Destination 3?
Skin cancer is one of the grimmest you can get. There should definitely be more regulation in with the sunbeds, stronger health warnings. More emphasis on the accelerated ageing process from burning your skin. If it's about vanity; hit the vanity aspect. No one wants to end up looking like Donatella Versace.
Nicola went to watch the skin cancer being cut out. Watching operations is horrible; I used to work in a plastic surgeons and I could watch any I liked. I didn't take them up on that offer, but I saw them shoving someone's breast implants in once. They hadn't consented to me seeing. Lovely.
Next Nicola went to meet the mum of Hayley, who died from skin cancer. You could see from the pictures how tanned she was. Just awful to think women could unwittingly inflict that on themselves.
Someone rang a radio show to say Nicola was taking pale 'to extremes'. Except being pale doesn't kill you- dur. I liked Nicola getting angry, she seemed honest and just like a normal person. I have newfound respect for her.
Ooh they just played Newborn by Muse. I forgot about when Muse were good.
The Sunbed Association woman looked leathery! Heh. Bad advert.
It's rather trite to say, but I think Nicola Roberts IS beautiful. And it's funny she's always been the 'ugly' one, because so many of my ex boyfriends (ok there's not been THAT many) liked her the best out of Girls Aloud. And now I agree. Quirky beats Tweedy, any day. I admire what she's done. It takes strength to change your position on something and it takes strength to be different. Good on her.