Friday, 3 April 2009

American Idol: Alleged Artistry

The reason I haven't written about this yet is because I never get around to watching it until Sunday, so my thoughts seem a little irrelevant by then. But I HAVE been watching, and tonight I'm all alone so watched this weeks offerings in one go.
Firstly, I kind of like the new judge, whatsherface. What 'props' does Paula have under the table (apart from the obvious- glug glug glug).
The 'theme' weeks have been absolutely turgid this year; country music, motown, Micheal fucking Jackson. So I'm glad we were free of the tyranny tonight and they could choose any song they liked. Also, I am not very impressed with the contestants. A lot of the ones I wanted to go through to the finals didn't. But here we go;
Anoop: I like Anoop and was glad when he got through by thought he had gone downhill since My Prerogative- the sickly ballads weren't really doing it for me. Although tonight I thought he was mildly ridiculous.
I think Megan has been beyond hopeless for weeks, she sings like she's pissed out of her head. She's cute but crap.
Danny looks like an accountant. My brain goes into hibernation when he comes on. Has he got a dead wife? I know he CAN sing; I can hear it, but it just bores me rigid. Paula said she'd hit repeat in her car. But he's not in your car, you drunk old bat.
I like Alison aka mini Kerry Katona. She's got a really good voice. Oh god, she did 'Don't Speak'- stick your bindi on. She reminded me of Pink during this performance. Lovely hair colour too. Don't know why Randy dissed her clothes; she looked cute. Has he never heard of emo?
Scott; sigh! Hating one blind person is bad enough (Mikey from BB, the memory lingers) but two seems cruel. But come on, he is ONLY IN IT BECAUSE HE'S BLIND. He is SHIT! I can't STAND it! That song he did was agony. He's OFF! HE CAN'T SING! He's flat! Get rid! Yet again and again the judges let him get away with it! One of the best of the night? NO! Pathetic.
As for Matt; if you asked me what his name was before Ryan said it, I wouldn't have had a clue. He is duller than dull. I didn't mind the song he did tonight, though, but he was a bit growly. Still, the best he's done so far, for me. So quite obvious that the judges would hate it!
I don't like Lil Rounds, I find her a bit smug. Liked her bob tonight though. Her voice went right through me. If you wince, it's not that good, is it?
My favourite is Adam aka Feet Wentz. What did they DO to him last week? He looked like a spotty little choirboy! Don't destroy the emo! But when he did Ring of Fire the week before he was amazing! I HATE 'play that funky music' but he seemed absolutely in his element. I didn't like his quiff though, he looked like Superman. His voice is like a billion times better than anyone else's though. His range is seriously impressive. He really seems like he has that 'star quality' they bang on about. Now bring back the fringe (and the boy-snogging).
Kris Allen aka the monkey I also find a little boring. Yeah he's easy on the eye, but so's beige. Aint No Sunshine. Urgh. But hold on, he was actually quite good; the best I've seen him actually.
Results show; what was Megan's crow thing about? She was being quite insufferable towards the end so not sorry to see her go. Lady Gaga; you looked like Donatella Versace tonight, and that aint a good thing. Your five minutes are up, fuck off, love.
PS: I still love Randy, dawg.

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