Luke, I think you're getting her confused with the Wicked Witch! So that's three guys who fancy Princess Manky Teeth now.. I had an unfortunate filling-full trip to the dentist today, so there's hope for me yet.
Mario blaming Jen for Dennis going: class!
Mikey paired people off in a cruel and unusual manner: well done! They should have done that task weeks ago. The housemates are so totally inconsiderate to his disability: except Mario who just wants to put police tape around all the trip hazards. Trip hazards! If Mario says the phrase 'trip hazard' I'll die happy.
What IS that thing with the towel that Lisa and Mario (and now Stuart) do in the garden?
Mario's diary room speech was top dollar. His sincerity floors me. He must truly believe the viewers are as attentive and doe-eyed to his spiel as Lisa. Mohamed: now only has a personality via his hairstyle.
Dale: 'Mikey, you have dreams and stuff?' Yes, he is a human, Dale. I was interested in Mikey talking about his blindness, normally he's just shuffling around forgotten.
Loving Darnell still. Loving his honesty. Aw, he wants to be someone's favourite. Rex and Rex! Haha. It was great what he said about Jen: thank god someone sees through it.
Lisa and Mario are soooo weird, I can't believe they met on Ebay, they seem made for each other. Imagine if they'd never met? They would have been lost, lonely robots. They do seem like 'soul mates' *shudder*.
Watching them eat blindfolded was truly gross. I can't stand watching people eat anyway. Mo was being really strange and OTT.
Rebecca: 'I even wish Alex was still here.' CHRIST! Your judgement is awful, love. 'All the fun people have gone.' What, Dennis and Sylvia? I find the best way to get the party started is to sexually harrass someone then gob in their face, don't you?
Rebecca is SUCH an exhibitionist getting naked! I have a grudging respect for her in a way that she's proud of her body. But she's still supremely irritating.
Beardy Brian Molko and Jen rubbing Dale's nose in it was funny. Keep pushing him and he might lamp someone because he's too inarticulate to argue his case. It's like watching a fly banging it's head against a window. All you need is love! Or nailing.
Monday, 30 June 2008
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Big Brother 9: Keep It Really, Really Real
There was something extremely creepy about Jen and Luke's conversation about Rachel's 'dark side' against that backdrop of slightly frantic classical music. Surely it becoming like 'The Waltons' is a good thing for the housemates (if not the viewers?) Don't they WANT to get on?
Luke is becoming increasingly paranoid and spiky, with Team Cunt on his side. I can't stand fence-sitters either as a rule, but Kat and Rachel don't deserve that level of vitriol. I was pleased when Kat challenged him, he's getting completely out of control.
Rebecca is also being very annoying too; now she has what she sees as the cool kids on side she's becoming too big for her boots. But if the doors jammed and everyone on earth died outside the BB house, and they ran out of food and had to eat a housemate, you can guarantee it'd be you first, love. I'd put money on it.
As for the other happy house haters: if Jen was stuck in the house with the Dalai Lama she'd be calling him fake and slagging off his dress sense after five minutes. The 'whole Rachel situation- we can't take anymore of the incessant happiness.' I know, what is Rachel going to do next? Make them a cup of tea? Hang up their washing? FUCKING BITCH!
I enjoyed Rex basically calling Becks fat, because she is being a moron. I like his arrogance! I think his views reflect the views of any sane viewer. I like the fact he doesn't really rise to it, then when he does, he is considered Satan. He cannot win.
Jen: 'stop being happy, be yourself instead.' But by being YOURSELF, Jen, you are a sour-faced, miserable, nasty, uptight, deluded dimwit. So, why not be someone else? Surely anything else would be preferable. Good on Rachel for speaking out, as much as she could.
Rebecca was looking increasingly thick as the show went on and she went into full-on Vicky Pollard mode. She was barking at the moon because she didn't have a leg to stand on, but felt aggrieved anyway and started on Kat. Darnell took her down again in his own inimitable way, until he got mega-mouthed into the ground.
I hope Rex doesn't walk, the producers would be insane to let him. New intelligent blood desperately needed.
Luke is becoming increasingly paranoid and spiky, with Team Cunt on his side. I can't stand fence-sitters either as a rule, but Kat and Rachel don't deserve that level of vitriol. I was pleased when Kat challenged him, he's getting completely out of control.
Rebecca is also being very annoying too; now she has what she sees as the cool kids on side she's becoming too big for her boots. But if the doors jammed and everyone on earth died outside the BB house, and they ran out of food and had to eat a housemate, you can guarantee it'd be you first, love. I'd put money on it.
As for the other happy house haters: if Jen was stuck in the house with the Dalai Lama she'd be calling him fake and slagging off his dress sense after five minutes. The 'whole Rachel situation- we can't take anymore of the incessant happiness.' I know, what is Rachel going to do next? Make them a cup of tea? Hang up their washing? FUCKING BITCH!
I enjoyed Rex basically calling Becks fat, because she is being a moron. I like his arrogance! I think his views reflect the views of any sane viewer. I like the fact he doesn't really rise to it, then when he does, he is considered Satan. He cannot win.
Jen: 'stop being happy, be yourself instead.' But by being YOURSELF, Jen, you are a sour-faced, miserable, nasty, uptight, deluded dimwit. So, why not be someone else? Surely anything else would be preferable. Good on Rachel for speaking out, as much as she could.
Rebecca was looking increasingly thick as the show went on and she went into full-on Vicky Pollard mode. She was barking at the moon because she didn't have a leg to stand on, but felt aggrieved anyway and started on Kat. Darnell took her down again in his own inimitable way, until he got mega-mouthed into the ground.
I hope Rex doesn't walk, the producers would be insane to let him. New intelligent blood desperately needed.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Big Brother 9: Aftermath
Best pics ever! Sylvia: 'Dennis was only trying to help.' I often find spitting on someone's face can resolve a sticky situation, don't you? In fact, that was the first trick they taught us in counselling school. Jen and Sylvia crying was absolutely hysterical. Jen thinks she's untouchable now. Little does she know.
Luke: 'The public will kick out Mo tonight, Dennis was just trying to diffuse the situation.' Luke: you hitched your bandwagon to a poisoned star and now you must pay the price, you nasty little shit. My love affair with you is OVER.
Words cannot explain how much I hate Jen, and how keen I am to see her get her comeuppance. How dare she challenge Darnell about what he did. He did so well just not to rise to it at all. How can they just not acknowledge that Mohamed was ASSAULTED? Spitting on someone is common assault. Darnell: 'When we hit the streets we'll see who the vile people are.' Correct. Loved Darnell calling Sylvia and Jen unexciting in front of Dale.
Jen: 'Dennis did whatever came natural.' It's not natural to spit on someone. That takes conscious thought. That would not come naturally EVER to someone of strong moral fibre. And I'm a right rock n' roll rebel and it would never occur to me to do that to my worst enemy.
Loved BB telling Stuart and Dale that Rex had already apologised. Dealt with! Dale: you're thick as shit. I've seen more intelligent Hollyoaks plots (I haven't really... as if I'd watch that bollocks)
Love Mario again now. Except his nominations talk which was exceedingly stupid. When will they learn!!!
Watching Dale in his pink scunt straightening Luke's hair was the antithesis of sexy. I like men hairy, dirty and scruffy. Oh my God, then Dale put on a cravat for the eviction. Awful fashion sense does not take the place of IQ, gormy.
Kat annoyed me telling Rex off for being arrogant. Better arrogant than fake and utterly one-dimensional.
Other thoughts: The song Cookie Love is oddly addictive. Why was Lisa shaving her 'tache? And who enjoyed the chocolate earhole licking more, Becks or Luke?
Friday, 27 June 2008
Big Brother 9: 'Would you do that to a Monet?'
Bloody hell! All that excitement nearly gave me a cardiac arrest. It was loads better than I expected. Syliva's night was stolen somewhat.
I loved Darnell bullshitting Rebecca that he fancies her! Rebecca was wearing my cardie as well. I used to not like that, but now I'll allow it. She didn't look very impressed with his seduction technique.
Fight night! Jennifer's egotism knows no bounds: 'you wouldn't be able to do that in an art gallery.' For fuck's sake Jen, it was a doodle of beardy tosspot Stuart, get the fuck over it, you dopey cow. Grow up! I love hearing Rex speak, he's got a sexy voice and I'm becoming quite partial to his nose. His insincere apology ruled. I love the fact it was all sorted then Dale came in like a caveman. What a prick. I wouldn't mind but Jen was utterly in the wrong, and Stale (Stuart & Dale) just pushed their way in like the thickest kind of retards. Stale is Jen's ideal man! (I'm copyrighting Stale, btw).
Jen- 'I would never put my fingers in his food!' I hate her more than anyone on the planet, genuinely. I'm glad she lost Dennis because of it, it was utterly just. What was with Stuart as well, getting all involved? God, don't upset Princess Manky Teeth. Don't fuck with her 'masterpiece'! Masterpiece!!! She actually SAID THAT. Rex DID apologise. Shut up!
Oh my God, I can't believe what happened. I sincerely hope someone spits in Dennis's face in the street, the evil little cunt. Mohamed and Rex were both completely bullied. It was like ten against two. Where was Mario when you needed him? He didn't risk assess the gob in the face, did he?
Thank GOD Darnell spoke the truth. I literally cannot BELIEVE people were still going on about that fucking painting after Dennis SPIT in Mohamed's face. That was truly horrific. Darnell went up in my estimation a BILLION percent, I loved the fact he was so angry about it, I would have been exactly the same. He was a true hero. It doesn't matter the whys and wherefores. Also, Mohamed did NOT square up to a girl. I HATE DALE! They are just racist as far as I'm concerned. Mohamed did nothing. Stuart, Dale, Jennifer, Rebecca: scum.
They were definitely drunk, but it's no excuse. I was pleased to hear Dennis still had his dignity, there was I thinking he was a rancid, disgusting little troll. Mohamed crying and washing his face was awful, if someone spat in my face I'd feel absolutely violated, and I don't use that word lightly.
All the people in that luxury bedroom are complete spineless wankers for not calling Dennis out on his revolting behaviour. I will not forget. Dennis should have been kicked out then and there. Disgraceful.
Darnell: 'I really thought Becks was going to put out tonight.' Love it.
Sylvia's interview: fairly superfluous to requirements- probably the most interesting part was the live feed at the end: Luke saying 'If they evicted Sylvia none of us have a chance.' And Jen replying 'How could anyone evict that body?' Because, shit-for-brains, it's not Britain's Next Top Model, it's Big Brother and we require either a brain or a serious personality disorder in our winner, and you don't even have a brain cell, or a personality. I'd predict you'd feel intellectually threatened by an amoeba, but actually, you find two of them sexually attractive. Poor you (and them).
I loved Darnell bullshitting Rebecca that he fancies her! Rebecca was wearing my cardie as well. I used to not like that, but now I'll allow it. She didn't look very impressed with his seduction technique.
Fight night! Jennifer's egotism knows no bounds: 'you wouldn't be able to do that in an art gallery.' For fuck's sake Jen, it was a doodle of beardy tosspot Stuart, get the fuck over it, you dopey cow. Grow up! I love hearing Rex speak, he's got a sexy voice and I'm becoming quite partial to his nose. His insincere apology ruled. I love the fact it was all sorted then Dale came in like a caveman. What a prick. I wouldn't mind but Jen was utterly in the wrong, and Stale (Stuart & Dale) just pushed their way in like the thickest kind of retards. Stale is Jen's ideal man! (I'm copyrighting Stale, btw).
Jen- 'I would never put my fingers in his food!' I hate her more than anyone on the planet, genuinely. I'm glad she lost Dennis because of it, it was utterly just. What was with Stuart as well, getting all involved? God, don't upset Princess Manky Teeth. Don't fuck with her 'masterpiece'! Masterpiece!!! She actually SAID THAT. Rex DID apologise. Shut up!
Oh my God, I can't believe what happened. I sincerely hope someone spits in Dennis's face in the street, the evil little cunt. Mohamed and Rex were both completely bullied. It was like ten against two. Where was Mario when you needed him? He didn't risk assess the gob in the face, did he?
Thank GOD Darnell spoke the truth. I literally cannot BELIEVE people were still going on about that fucking painting after Dennis SPIT in Mohamed's face. That was truly horrific. Darnell went up in my estimation a BILLION percent, I loved the fact he was so angry about it, I would have been exactly the same. He was a true hero. It doesn't matter the whys and wherefores. Also, Mohamed did NOT square up to a girl. I HATE DALE! They are just racist as far as I'm concerned. Mohamed did nothing. Stuart, Dale, Jennifer, Rebecca: scum.
They were definitely drunk, but it's no excuse. I was pleased to hear Dennis still had his dignity, there was I thinking he was a rancid, disgusting little troll. Mohamed crying and washing his face was awful, if someone spat in my face I'd feel absolutely violated, and I don't use that word lightly.
All the people in that luxury bedroom are complete spineless wankers for not calling Dennis out on his revolting behaviour. I will not forget. Dennis should have been kicked out then and there. Disgraceful.
Darnell: 'I really thought Becks was going to put out tonight.' Love it.
Sylvia's interview: fairly superfluous to requirements- probably the most interesting part was the live feed at the end: Luke saying 'If they evicted Sylvia none of us have a chance.' And Jen replying 'How could anyone evict that body?' Because, shit-for-brains, it's not Britain's Next Top Model, it's Big Brother and we require either a brain or a serious personality disorder in our winner, and you don't even have a brain cell, or a personality. I'd predict you'd feel intellectually threatened by an amoeba, but actually, you find two of them sexually attractive. Poor you (and them).
Big Brother 9: There Was No Day 14
Sorry I didn’t get a chance to blog this last night but it was too late. I was going to skip it all together but there are things that need to be said! Like, what has Rebecca done to her hair, it looks like a fright wig. I still like her though and I liked her being proud of her arse. Its not like Luke has exactly got a body beautiful, is it?
It was a bit naughty when BB told Luke why it had sent Dennis and Darnell to prison, BB of old would never have done such a thing. Good, though. As it was D&D got away with it, because they are a bit cheeky. I thought they were good fun in the prison, a proper odd couple.
I thought the OK Go dance routine was brilliant, it was a feel-good episode of BB. I can think of several series past where they would not have had the discipline to do that. I loved the ‘Oxfam’ clothes as well, I like it when they indie them up. Stuart looked like a gay sailor. Dale did look smouldering with smoky eyeliner (except when his mouth lolls open like a stroke victim) and I loved Rex in his make up and indie gear. I can’t believe he called it stupid whilst wondering round with that tidal wave hairdo and so-designer-he-looks-like-he-got-it-off-the-market hoodie. Sylvia looked good as an indie chick too.
It was nice to see them all getting on, well until the end. I don’t think Sylvia really had designs on Dale, she was only kidding in her own bizarre way (like the joke with Luke… so funny I forgot to laugh!) Jen is so up her own arse! BB, please play Dale’s ‘If there’s any fanny in there, I’m going to nail it’ video. I’d pay good money to see Jen’s face.
It was a bit naughty when BB told Luke why it had sent Dennis and Darnell to prison, BB of old would never have done such a thing. Good, though. As it was D&D got away with it, because they are a bit cheeky. I thought they were good fun in the prison, a proper odd couple.
I thought the OK Go dance routine was brilliant, it was a feel-good episode of BB. I can think of several series past where they would not have had the discipline to do that. I loved the ‘Oxfam’ clothes as well, I like it when they indie them up. Stuart looked like a gay sailor. Dale did look smouldering with smoky eyeliner (except when his mouth lolls open like a stroke victim) and I loved Rex in his make up and indie gear. I can’t believe he called it stupid whilst wondering round with that tidal wave hairdo and so-designer-he-looks-like-he-got-it-off-the-market hoodie. Sylvia looked good as an indie chick too.
It was nice to see them all getting on, well until the end. I don’t think Sylvia really had designs on Dale, she was only kidding in her own bizarre way (like the joke with Luke… so funny I forgot to laugh!) Jen is so up her own arse! BB, please play Dale’s ‘If there’s any fanny in there, I’m going to nail it’ video. I’d pay good money to see Jen’s face.
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Big Brother 9: Free Mandela (Do Not Pass Go)
Luke! I'm sick of you. Maybe Kat is annoying but maybe she just is nice as well. Maybe Rachel just is too. I like Rex and Mohamed. I'd rather be stuck in prison with them than any of the others. It's every man for themselves in that house.
Poor Mo, he's definitely depressed. I loved Rex's poor attempt at comforting him. Banged up with a crying man. Never good. I can't believe BB kept them in prison that long. Cruel! Battery-farmed housemates.
What modelling agency did Jen go to? Was it a specialist agency for people who were too poor to get braces when they were kids? She looked like that woman off 10 Years Younger in that stupid outfit. If that's sexy God help humankind. Her friendship with Sylvia is so disingenuous that if you breathed on it, it'd crumble.
That was interesting that Rachel said about getting friction burn on her thighs, because Rebecca went in the diary room and moaned about that the other day! I get that too. It's the fat person's curse. But fuck diets, that's what they invented leggings for *eats crispy strips*. They were mean not letting Rebecca do the task. What she lacks in physique, she makes up for in enthusiasm. Mario completely unbiasedly appointed Lisa as the make-up girl. Well if everyone wants to look like a red indian, it was the perfect choice. Love Darnell standing up for Becky. They are the misfits of the house.
Rex vs Dale: Rex made Dale look pathetic, which he is. But fair play to Dale for apologising (and having a sneaky feel of Rex's willy- he's not helping those bi rumours, is he?)
Rachel is SUCH a girl scout. What a fuss she made about that injury. Rebecca's hiding under the bed was funny.
Nominations chat! Stupidio! Dennis is such a dolt. Sylvia: you are going home, and the water thing has been done. See ya.
Tonights 'shut the fuck up' award goes jointly to Mario and Jen- what a pair of cunts. Risk assess my middle finger, Mario.
Poor Mo, he's definitely depressed. I loved Rex's poor attempt at comforting him. Banged up with a crying man. Never good. I can't believe BB kept them in prison that long. Cruel! Battery-farmed housemates.
What modelling agency did Jen go to? Was it a specialist agency for people who were too poor to get braces when they were kids? She looked like that woman off 10 Years Younger in that stupid outfit. If that's sexy God help humankind. Her friendship with Sylvia is so disingenuous that if you breathed on it, it'd crumble.
That was interesting that Rachel said about getting friction burn on her thighs, because Rebecca went in the diary room and moaned about that the other day! I get that too. It's the fat person's curse. But fuck diets, that's what they invented leggings for *eats crispy strips*. They were mean not letting Rebecca do the task. What she lacks in physique, she makes up for in enthusiasm. Mario completely unbiasedly appointed Lisa as the make-up girl. Well if everyone wants to look like a red indian, it was the perfect choice. Love Darnell standing up for Becky. They are the misfits of the house.
Rex vs Dale: Rex made Dale look pathetic, which he is. But fair play to Dale for apologising (and having a sneaky feel of Rex's willy- he's not helping those bi rumours, is he?)
Rachel is SUCH a girl scout. What a fuss she made about that injury. Rebecca's hiding under the bed was funny.
Nominations chat! Stupidio! Dennis is such a dolt. Sylvia: you are going home, and the water thing has been done. See ya.
Tonights 'shut the fuck up' award goes jointly to Mario and Jen- what a pair of cunts. Risk assess my middle finger, Mario.
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Big Brother 9: Veins Everywhere
Mario, you are not allowed to say last in, first out! Naughty.
Dale... there's a reason Rex talks to you like you're stupid. I'll give you an hour to work it out. Good luck!
Jennifer is soooo prim. 'Mikey washed his 'area'- can she not even say WILLY? I wish she'd get over it. She's not that saintly.
Query: why does Mikey want the light off at night?
Mohamed and his three breakfasts! I wonder what he had? Why does everyone hate him SO MUCH, he seems harmless. I mean eating too much isn't as offensive as half the things said and done in there. I've got half an idea... *cough* (racists).
Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. If only he was in any way likeable. But he's so annoying and unpleasant.
Rachel was right about Luke: he does go from group to group shit-stirring, I spotted that a while back. I like her, I wish they'd show her more. Still a wasted vote though.
Mario and Lisa's excercise sessions are SO weird. It's utterly unnatural to enjoy doing those weird things they do. I was pleased Mario didn't get loads of votes this week though.
Rex slightly hypocritical to vote Sylvia for for flirting when she has a boyfriend, as he did the same thing with Steph. I still like him though. He's my fave (except when he wears that Claire's Accessories style hoodie).
Dale has got a lovely turn of phrase: 'Rex talking with his dick out.' He's obsessed with dick. I loved the fact Rex was lying there. Dale is so thick he doesn't recognise faces now, and he's only got about 15 to remember in there. What a tool.
Loved Darnell tearing a strip off Luke. Luke looked well and truly exposed. He obviously thought the housemates were too thick to see it, so I'm pleased that at least a couple of people are onto him. But he's still good value.
I enjoyed Rex and Mohamed getting sent to jail like the hoodie thugs they are. Hehe.
Sylvia: subtle as a brick. Stuart: he should learn how to say 'NO'. I could probably think of something more boring than Sylvia's whispering campaign, but it doesn't exist on this earth. I literally zoned out for ten minutes. It's like hearing a chav slagging off her boyfriend on her mobile on the bus. Poor Stuart! Why don't I feel sorry for him!
Nice to see the two black people are up. Good old BB. If you're a girl, black, or even mildly mouthy- see ya. Whilst the moronic teens keep Dale in cos he's fit, innit! And then we get stuck with retard Ken and Barbie and fucking CookieCunt for three months.
Things I don't want to look at anymore: Jen's ratty hair extensions.
Dale... there's a reason Rex talks to you like you're stupid. I'll give you an hour to work it out. Good luck!
Jennifer is soooo prim. 'Mikey washed his 'area'- can she not even say WILLY? I wish she'd get over it. She's not that saintly.
Query: why does Mikey want the light off at night?
Mohamed and his three breakfasts! I wonder what he had? Why does everyone hate him SO MUCH, he seems harmless. I mean eating too much isn't as offensive as half the things said and done in there. I've got half an idea... *cough* (racists).
Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. If only he was in any way likeable. But he's so annoying and unpleasant.
Rachel was right about Luke: he does go from group to group shit-stirring, I spotted that a while back. I like her, I wish they'd show her more. Still a wasted vote though.
Mario and Lisa's excercise sessions are SO weird. It's utterly unnatural to enjoy doing those weird things they do. I was pleased Mario didn't get loads of votes this week though.
Rex slightly hypocritical to vote Sylvia for for flirting when she has a boyfriend, as he did the same thing with Steph. I still like him though. He's my fave (except when he wears that Claire's Accessories style hoodie).
Dale has got a lovely turn of phrase: 'Rex talking with his dick out.' He's obsessed with dick. I loved the fact Rex was lying there. Dale is so thick he doesn't recognise faces now, and he's only got about 15 to remember in there. What a tool.
Loved Darnell tearing a strip off Luke. Luke looked well and truly exposed. He obviously thought the housemates were too thick to see it, so I'm pleased that at least a couple of people are onto him. But he's still good value.
I enjoyed Rex and Mohamed getting sent to jail like the hoodie thugs they are. Hehe.
Sylvia: subtle as a brick. Stuart: he should learn how to say 'NO'. I could probably think of something more boring than Sylvia's whispering campaign, but it doesn't exist on this earth. I literally zoned out for ten minutes. It's like hearing a chav slagging off her boyfriend on her mobile on the bus. Poor Stuart! Why don't I feel sorry for him!
Nice to see the two black people are up. Good old BB. If you're a girl, black, or even mildly mouthy- see ya. Whilst the moronic teens keep Dale in cos he's fit, innit! And then we get stuck with retard Ken and Barbie and fucking CookieCunt for three months.
Things I don't want to look at anymore: Jen's ratty hair extensions.
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