Sunday, 18 November 2012

X Factor results: an Imbruglia-sized mistake

The two 'guests' on tonight: I hate Alicia Keys so much I'd rather be trapped in a prison cell with that one Olly Murs song about the crab on a loop for a week than go to 30 minutes of her of her tedious gig. Fuck her and her piano, I just find her pretentious, humourless, and I particularly hate that phone thing she does with her hand. Just: no. 
Ella has got her hair up in that gross bun again. She's such a cute little thing, but they get her styling right once in ten times.
I thought Rylan sang well in the group song. I just gave him my vote. Take that, Barlow, etc.
So the gay one in Union J has come out, shocker. I've not been less shocked since Will Young came out. At least this guy did it whilst the competition was still on. Good for him.
I think there could be a big shock tonight and James or Ella could be in the bottom two, as I thought they were both patchy last night.
They're were taking the piss out Christopher with the laser beam eyes, weren't they? I do feel a bit sorry for him. But I still want him to go.
Gary's Evil Knievil joke goes over a thousand young heads - keep your references relevant, Granddad.
Who are these cunts buying Olly Murs's 'music'? The only interesting thing about Olly Murs is that he's been on Deal or No Deal twice, making him the only non oho (only here once). He's not even a good singer. I will give him something, though; I think he does a good job presenting Xtra Factor with Caroline Flack. I think she's brilliant; but he bounces off her well. Do you remember when Connie Huq was doing it *cringes and throws up simultaneously*. I think Caroline Flack is one of the most natural female TV presenters around right now. She just seems really down to earth and like you'd have a good time if you hung out with her. She makes Fearne Cotton and Holly-thingy look like boring old gits.
I'm so sick of Christopher thanking 'the public' for their support. Yeah the drunk/ elderly or sadistic public. THANKS A BUNCH. He's doing it for his nan, so it's all her fault.
Thank fuck I had a nap earlier and started watching the show 10 minutes late, which allowed me to  forward through Alica Keys, who appears to have turned white. There were so many stupid props on the stage that I can only assume the song was utterly dire.
'Good luck to everyone' means 'Good luck to no one' so you might as well not waste your breath, Dermot.
YES! Rylan is through. My vote did count. LOL. He's got to sack his psychic now. 
It's between James, Ella and Christopher. OMG. I was right, I predicted this right at the start - James and Ella in the bottom 2. Bad song choices, I'm telling you! This is a super cock up. I feel sorry for them because they should both be in the final. This is wrong.
Ella should go just for singing Beddingfield. Aw, she looks really sad. She has got one big mouth, bless her. Tulisa's face says she's already gone.
Aw, so cute when James kissed her as they crossed paths. 'This is James f-ing Arthur.' Oh Christ, he's singing Alicia Keys. Too much Alicia for one show! One second is too much. He should have put his glasses on for old times sake. Can you imagine if he went over to America with those teeth? They'd think there was something wrong with him, like he was simple or something. I love the fact he's not had them done. I thought he outdid her in that song. I hope she goes, but it's still wrong.
I love Tulisa's bile! At last she shows her teeth. Telling the public they're fucking wrong, yeah, eat that, public, you fucking morons. Don't you know how to use a sodding phone?
OH NO. Louis sent James home. Oh no. Bad feeling in my stomach. DEADLOCK.
Oh, thank God James got through. I'm sure that Ella will still do well, I think she should sing her own songs, get away from X Factor and become a credible artist and do her own hair and styling. She could still be massive. Who's successful after X Factor has diddly squat to do with who wins, anyway. I think it's just who gets the best manager.
No WOMEN left in the competition. I love you, Britain, you sexist fuckwits. And remember, kids, don't blame Rylan for this shitstorm; blame Christopher!   

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