Thursday 20 January 2011

American Idol : now with 100% less Simon

Well, I think Puff Daddy and Justin Grimberlake would have been preferable to Jenny from the block and Liv Tyler's dad. Where's the grit? At least Randy's still there. Love Randy. What happened to Kara Doobedodah? I actually really liked her. Ellen was fucking useless, though.
Ryan Seacrest wants us to usher in a new 'error' of American Idol. The error is the judging panel, unfortunately. If they're going to go for dullards, Katy Perry would have been preferable. But how about some people with spunk? Courtney Love, Quentin Tarantino- even Kelly Osbourne would have been better.
I do think three is the right number of judges, though. Four is stupid number to have. Three is just so. Three is democratic.
Steve Tyler looks like a Who from Whoville. Stop shrieking, you freak. At least he's looking for a rocker, I suppose, even if it is in the wrong place.
JLo strikes me as mega fake; she's not really a nice person is she? Alright, I'll give her one chance. ONE.
I'm actually not really in the mood for this tonight. I've got a headache, I'm stressed and pissed off. Not sure I'm going to make the whole two hours.
Steve Tyler is so annoying- why is he singing along with everyone?
Ooh just noticed, Randy's skinny again. Gastric band? Hmm, no his face is skinny, but his body is fat. Ah, whatevs, I still want to lick his face.
JLo's skin is lacquered with gold leaf, applied at night by browbeaten elves. I don't like the way she's running the show. I miss Simon's cheekiness. Everyone's being so NICE. They need someone bitchy on there.
Also, I know it's early days, but there's no chemistry between these judges. Randy and Simon were clearly good mates. It feels like these three could be judging in different rooms; they're not bouncing off each other at all.
I think they just had two adverts in the space of about five minutes. Glad I'm watching this minus the adverts. But at least Steven and Randy are giving each other high fives now.
I don't think I even have anything to say about the contestants. It's not really about them, is it?!
OK I did an hour and twenty. I need a lie down. What can I say? I'm distinctly average. RIP.

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