Thursday, 27 May 2010

Junior Apprentice: I want to be the girl with the most cake

Hello, angelic fruitcakes. I'll start blogging about something other than The Apprentice soon; i.e Big Brother. I also have a shiny new netbook so no excuse for lacklustre bloggies now I've got a digital clutch.
Cupcakes. No matter how pretty you make them, they still make you fat. Can't believe Rhys is 17! He looks like an amoeba. I can't believe they are all either 16 or 17, they look like they range from pre-pubescent to middle-aged.
Give Zoe an arsenic cupcake. I think the key to success is make the designs as simple as possible. It's not easy to write on a cake. Especially if you've only just learned to write.
Those 'love' cakes look cheapy! At least the 'fashion' cakes look like they haven't been made my a visually-impaired chimpanzee. Although I don't think they're going to shift any of the 'marry me' ones. If someone proposed to me via cupcake I'd be straight on the phone to Gillian McKeith.
'Instinct cupcakes' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? I don't think instinct tastes that good. It feels a bit sweaty to me.
Rhys's team have got to win! Their cupcakes look a zillion times nicer than the others.
Challenging! Gotta love the office speak. The key issues are 'your cupcakes are shit'.
Did Alan really just sack Adam for having a cold?! You can't do that. I'd hate to get pregnant under that sort of regime. WTF!
Alan sounded like Terry Tibbs when he went, 'What were your prices?'
Can't believe Rhys's team lost. Zoe's going to be noshing off Richard Branson before you can say 'Rimmel'.
Talking of inappropriate sexual remarks, if Rhys has ever had sex, I'm in line for a knighthood. And if he's had sex by the time he's 25, I'll give you one.
The Not-Zoe blonde girl looks like she's had her hair cut with a lawnmower. Beardy farmer bloke gets on my tits, he is always setting up someone else to go whilst doing fuck all.
Not-Zoe wants to be 'grafted' into a good businesswoman. Jordan's plastic surgeon could probably arrange it.
Rhys, you're a very special man. When you finally fit into that suit, there's a job waiting for you at the Carphone Warehouse.

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