Saturday, 22 November 2008

X Factor: Car Crash special!

Here's a live blog, live from lightupvirginmary's living room (and bedroom too, I only have the one room!). It's Take That week, and I am watching something peculiar, some mass hallucination, some live trickery that even Dermot can't smooth over. Rachel comes out and sings flat EVERY WEEK. She sung so badly tonight I had to turn the telly down. Yet every week, they tell her she's amazing. Why? Why are they protecting her?
Meanwhile, Dannii is having a meltdown; crying on live TV. So the rumours are true, she is under serious pressure; no one seems to like her, Cheryl, Simon or Louis. I don't like her either, but fuck me, stop torturing her. Louis in particular is a poisonous little cunt. Imagine how pushed into a corner you must be to crack live on telly. Cheryl could have given her a cuddle or something. Dermot just pretended it wasn't happening, like every man in the face of an emotional female outburst. BOO! It would have been braver and nicer to have acknowledged it.
Almost EVERYONE was out of tune tonight. Diana was AWFUL and she's my favourite. She was like a drunk, witchy Kate Bush caught in a mangle. Yet the judges let that slide too. Do they have earplugs in? JLS. Out of tune. Ruth; shit.
My favourite at the mo is Eeyore Quigg, even though Charlie Brooker said he had a face like foetus. Even so, that children's choir/ pyrotechnics combo was beyond the pale. Total vomfest.
So on X Factor they forced Louis to say sorry to Dannii, haha. He did it in typically insincere style; prick.
Same Difference were miming!!! Wtf?! Did they forget how to sing in a year? Oh...
And Rhydian. Still fighting the ginger and any hint of charisma. (Soz, Mr B, but even you must be over it by now).
Rachel RIGHTLY went and didn't even put up a fight. I think it was pretty apparent the public didn't have blocked up ears. However, she actually did well in the sing off! But ultimately she was just too hit and miss.
The X Factor was just a big, fat mess tonight. Live TV. Pretty funny. Pretty awful.


Anonymous said...

I can't believe one of my friends has come out as an Eoghan supporter - you'd think this was the kind of thing that only happened to other peoples' friends! WHY WHY WHY.

He's ridiculously shit, the choir drowned out the high notes we were supposed to be impressed by. Added to which he's an arrogant prick. He declared in a VT that he'd captured the public's imagination - I think we could imagine something better than a potato-faced dyke-lookalike.


johnifer said...

Eurgh I HATE eoghoghghghghhghghghghghghgan, he needs a good hard kick in his smug wee face and I'd be happy to deliver it!

Anonymous said...

I think I am over Rhydian. It's hard to get excited about him singing hymns and dreary ballads...but if he'd got his furs and sparkly suit on or sang some Village People then I think it would be a different matter. I still think he should sing some Morrissey songs.

Not sure about Eoghan though!

Mr Blister

* (asterisk) said...

Sadly, I caught the first song. It was a black girl; don't know her name. I think it was "Relight My Fire". Fucking awful screechy mess. Yet they all raved about it. Weird.

lightupvirginmary said...

mr blister lives! yay.
OK, I take back the thing about Eoooowwweeeeennn. Perhaps I was drunk on Saturday. (actually, I wasn't, but it's a good excuse)