Friday, 30 March 2007

Soap Round-Up: The Psycho Woman Edition

I say soap round-up but obviously I don't watch Emmerdale. It's shit!
So Eastenders has come out of the mire a little. However, they always drag stories on for waaaaaaaaaaaay too long, when will Max and Stacey get caught out? The whole Dawn baby saga is a bit sick and depressing and just goes on and on and on improbably. How does May plan to get the baby off Dawn? Wrestle her? Swap it for the useless husband? Yawn, who cares.
The Stella/ Ben thing is the best storyline at the moment. Stella has gone from Queen Drip to Child-Called-It territory. I feel pretty frightened of her. I can't WAIT until Phil finds out! What will he do? Rarrrgggghh! Rip a table in half! Go all red! Order a double vodka with your orange juice! I love it. I can just see her laughing in his face. He's going to go postal. However at the rate storylines are going at the moment, I expect this episode will occur at some point during the 2012 Olympics.
What else? I find the whole Billy and Honey thing dull, dull, dull. Can't think what else is going on. Parklife and co haven't been in it this week. Has Bert left yet? I mostly fast forward when him, Yolande, or Jim come on. I know they suspended the road-sweeping girlfriend-beater week. We can only pray that the old folk start sniffing coke and fucking hookers real soon so we can get rid sharpish.
As for Corrie, Tracey's trial has been reasonably good, and I enjoyed the two-hander the other day when she confessed to Deirdre she offed Charlie. Also we didn't have to see any of that shitty new family who've just moved in. If I wanted to watch twats off Brookside I woud have done it in the 90s when it was in some way relevant.
Anyway. My boyfriend really hates Tracey with a passion but I love the fact she concocted such a ridiculous and fundamentally flawed plan of murder just because someone cheated on her. I also liked it when she said 'Do you think I'd EVER let a man hit me?' Go Tracey! She is evil, but she's funny. Berating her lawyer for telling her off was genius. I suspect she's going down.
David Platt (still not gone upstairs and transformed into a hunk, dammit) is offensive to both the eye and mind. I really want to smack him in the mouth. I'd rather do ten years (she's not going to get twenty! Don't they read the papers?) than sleep with that foundation-smeared, snub nosed little smuggard.
As for Deirdre, can someone sort her clothes out? She really does wear the most revolting things. The neck I can deal with, but those belts are just a step too far.

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