The Apprentice: (Not) America's next top Mogul

It cannot POSSIBLY be a year since this was on last. I was in this flat, so how can it be? Is he doing two a year like Tyra and her top models? Sugarlumps and Tyra should do a job swap one week, I'd pay to see Alan doing his smise.
That 'sky's the limit' quote would have probably worked better if it hadn't looked like she'd been reading it off a card. Also that quote doesn't make sense; 'the sky's the limit' is a good thing, only an insufferable upstart would criticise that expression.
Ugh here were go again, another procession of idiots. It just feels too samey every time. I like things that stay the same most of the time but not this. This needs sexing up.
Oh, something's changed, now they start up a business rather than get a job in the Atari factory. Yeah, I know it's not Atari. Ataris were good.
Oh Karren (her spelling mistake) has actually brushed her hair for once. Well done.
I like the inventor guy's expressive eyebrows. He aint gonna last five minutes. I actually agree that a limp handshake is unforgivable. You gotta fake it to make it!
So the task is they've got to set up their own business.
Team names. Galvinised. Platinum. They're way better than Venture, which they went for. That girl with the two-tone eyeshadow is going to be a pain in the arse, you can tell. The way she talks is grating. Ah, she's volunteered to be project manager. Madness. The boys called themselves Logic. Tragic is closer to the mark.
Orlando Bloom seems to be on the boy's team. No Pirates of the Caribbean five on the table? Surely that format hasn't outstayed it's welcome!
I like the suggestion 'let's make soup, they might not buy it again but at least they won't be sick.' Set the bar high!
At the fruit stall: 'Is that an orange?' 'I dunno.' Come on, even I'm not that thick.
Uh oh, the boys team leader is a complete div. 'Roll with the punches, go like the clappers... you're fired.'
I like Glenn standing up to the team leader doofus, Edward. Edward is going home. He's got cliches in place of a personality.
Not in the least bit surprised the girls won, especially with robobitch in charge.
Hold on, that aint the greasy spoon they normally go to. Boo.
Doofus is bringing Orlando back to the boardroom. Noooooo! No matter, doofus will be the one leaving.
Edward: 'not only am I the youngest in the group, I am also the shortest.' Eh?! What next, he didn't have a decent breakfast?! His mummy didn't cuddle him enough when he was a baby?
LOLZ Alan is still saying resooomay! Has no one told him yet? Come on, lackeys. Karren? I dare you.
And so. Two beautiful girls stand in front of me. But I only have one photograph in my hand. The person who's name I call will remain in the competition. The person who's name I don't call must go immediately back to their room, pack their belongings and go home.
Bye bye Edward. Roll with that punch, you ninny.