Rant: Chris Brown is Number 1 in the UK. Pleased with yourselves?

I have to write this blog because I am so fucking incensed and if I don’t get it out I might have to go outside and scream. Chris Brown’s latest song is number one in the UK which can only mean the idiots are out in force. I am honestly ashamed of my country, as if there’s ever been much to be proud of. This is it’s lowest point. After he beat the shit out of Rhianna, we banned him from the UK. No doubt now we’ll be rolling out the red carpet (as they did at the Grammys, which he gloated about) for the pop-prick scumbag. Every time I see his face it makes me want to smash my TV screen/ computer (but even I don’t do that because inanimate objects are worth something… more than women, apparently).
For every accolade you give this guy, another woman is suffering in silence. Another woman or young girl gets the message that it’s OK to be hit, and a guy gets the message that if you do hit a woman, give it a year, and it will all be forgotten. Hit the bitch. Do it.
And don’t accuse me of saying people can’t change. I know more than most that people can. People can change after they’ve taken a long hard look at their life and repented. But I’ve never once seen this piece of shit say sorry, all I’ve seen is his self-aggrandising, gloating and general aggression and bullying.
Maybe if he considered giving a slice (no, all) of the profits of his single to Refuge or Women’s Aid (or the American equivalent) we could imagine he’d taken one single step on the road to retribution. This joker isn’t even on the path to it. I don’t think he knows it exists.
The most disgusting thing about the whole sorry tale is that people (and specifically) women are defending him. I got into an argument with someone claiming to be a foster mother on Digital Spy defending him and saying ‘Rhianna probably provoked him.’ That woman is presumably fostering children from abusive backgrounds and proudly says she’s buying them the Chris Brown record. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire.
And it’s not like these comments are even 50/50. I’d say about 70% are defending this man and calling me crazy. Has the world gone completely insane? I was called a troll for standing up for women’s rights. Are women just too scared to speak up? It's like trying to talk sense into a hamster or a box of cereal these people are so willfully stupid.
Someone else said, ‘who are we to judge?’ Sentient humans, that’s who. I can look at the picture of Rhianna’s battered face after he threw her out of a car and judge quite easily, thank you very much. It’s not very difficult at all.
Others are saying, ‘What's his past got to do with his ‘talent’? Well I haven't seen Gary Glitter on TV lately, have you? Or is punching women more acceptable than abusing children? Well, that goes without saying, we’re just women, and we push those buttons and we ask for it, don’t we? Just ask Dennis Waterman.
‘Your personal life has nothing to do with your job’ – really? Tell that to doctors who sleep with patients, teachers who sleep with their pupils. It’s worse if you’re famous in a way because it doesn’t just affect you, the whole world is being given the message: ‘violence is OK’.
The people on Digital Spy (which should be renamed Digital Spite) are so pig thick, they can’t see what’s in front of their own faces. So I’m bitter and I should get a life. I’m stupid. Funny, because it’s that sort of language that’s how the whole thing starts, isn’t it?
Some other dickhead said ‘it takes two to tango’. I’ve never heard of a tango being done in the front of a moving car and ending with one person being chucked out of it and left with black eyes, and a swollen face, have you? Never seen that one on Strictly yet. Maybe next year.
The defence that ‘well Rhianna has forgiven him’ is paper-thin. Rhianna can do whatever she likes, including be an appalling example if she wants, that’s up to her and she’s young and from what I’ve seen in interviews, quite stupid. I’m not going to victim-blame. Whether she has forgiven him is neither here nor there. He should be made an example of. He should never be let on a TV screen or a stage ever again.
But 300 women a day are being turned away from refuges because of Tory cuts and they have to go home and face their 'Chris Brown' because they don't have Rhianna's money or status. She has set an appalling example by ever even speaking to him again, in my opinion, but that’s up to her. But think of those other women who plucked up the courage to leave, possibly with their kids, and got sent away from that refuge. Sent back home to that man. No wonder two women are dying at their partner’s hand a week: David Cameron is virtually beating them to death himself.
If you want to see what society is really like, click here. But they’ll probably lock that topic or delete my posts soon. Because women should just put up and shut up. Give Chris Brown another gong. Do a collaboration with him. Fucking disgusting.
PS: I listened to the song. It’s rubbish.

Documentary: Alesha Dixon: Don't Hit My Mum

Yes, please don't hit my mum Alesha, she's done nothing to you! Here, beautifully inane Alesha Dixon discusses domestic violence. This is going to be a bit of a minefield for me, both because of the involvement of Alesha, and the subject matter. It's going to get a little personal. But here goes.
One of the children at the very start of this documentary said 'he threw her down the stairs; and for that reason I'll never forgive him.' I understand that sentiment. The thought of all the children out there having to witness that sort of stuff feels horrific. How can parents do that to their children, do that in front of their children? They just don't give a shit. That's the long and short of it.
Alesha's mum's boyfriend beat her up when Alesha was 8. Mine happened when I was 11.
It is a horrible feeling to feel powerless; but it's worse to see your mother powerless. Especially when she has the choice to walk, but she won't. That's the worst part. I do blame my mum for not leaving sooner, and I don't apologise for that. There's a point where a victim needs to gather themselves up for the sake of the children. Once she left everyone was like 'your mum has abandoned you' and I just thought 'good. why on earth didn't she leave three years ago?' It was the smartest move she ever made. I told her a million times to go before that.
Alesha, bless her, hasn't really got the gravitas to tackle this subject with any sort of feeling. She even makes horrific violence seem mildly boring.
It was interesting what she was saying about 'not having a say' in how you were raised; I think that's an important point; once you're an adult you DO have a say. You can choose to separate yourself from violent family members, or situations that are bad for you. I spent my entire teenage years waiting for the next blow up. I am proud that I live in a safe space now. I am reluctant to get dragged down by it all again. 'Victims' have to do the right thing by themselves- and blood isn't thicker than water, especially when you've seen it splashed over the pavement.
Alesha says she feels sorry for her mum, but it sounds like her mum is over it. It's the same for me, my mum couldn't give a shit about what happened, but that stuff scarred me for life. It's different for children; you're developing, and that rips a hole in you.
One girl talked about how she tried to get in the middle of the violence and he carried on hitting her mum like she wasn't there. I remember so vividly trying to get my dad off my mum, and he just didn't even even register I was there. We also ran to our neighbour on that day.
It was interesting to hear the girl talk about picking up with her dad again after 13 years; I don't speak to my dad, and I've noticed myself feeling increasingly guilty about it. But I've always thought; if a stranger did that to your mum, would you ever forgive them? So what's the difference? I always come back to that thought. I will never have children- but if I did, I could never do that to them. Don't you just want to protect them? I just can't make sense of it.
Alesha says 'you should always question why someone acts a certain way, especially if it's a violent way'. But should you? I don't care what drove him to it; he shouldn't ever have done that, and especially not in front of me. I'm not interested in the reasons behind it. It's just thuggery. If that's too hardline, then whatever. It's just an excuse; you have a free choice on how to behave.
It's interesting when you realise your 'role models' are deeply fucked up. But it's also completely annihilating.
The conversation about how witnessing violence at a young age affects the brain was interesting. I 'only' saw one incident of extreme violence; I dread to think how my brain would have been affected if I'd seen that over and over.
The psychologist said the effect of witnessing violence makes you constantly frightened, and that's definitely how I felt as a teenager, constantly on edge.
Wow, Alesha Dixon is quite stunning. Bless her, she's trying.
Ah- Alesha visited a domestic violence incident with the police between a male couple! I've been discussing this with another friend today, so that's interesting. Apparently 11% of domestic violence victims are men. They don't seem to be the ones getting murdered, though. Eek, they played a really scary 999 call with a guy going crazy. DV is no joke. Look at how many men kill their partners (and whole families, if they're a real special case) per year- it's terrifying, and it's largely ignored. Oh, another one. It's just too commonplace.
I can't stress enough for women to leave, for kids to speak out, for men to THINK just think about what you are doing.
OMG! This guy used to make the mum say who she loved more out of him or her daughter and force her to say him! FUCKED.
My mum used to say over and over 'he would never lay a finger on you' as if that made everything OK. I don't think she had a clue what that situation actually did to me; she still doesn't really get it; although she gets it a lot more than she used to, because I forced her to.
I was interested when Alesha talked to a perpetrator at the end; and I do believe men can change- they do. I used to not think that, but I've grown up a bit. Once a wifebeater, always a wifebeater, I did believe that. But I don't now. But even if you can change, it doesn't make what you did in the past forgiveable. It doesn't change what you did. Wow, Alesha is really nodding, it's like a fucking Churchill advert.
I'm not sure about teaching kids about DV in school. Can you teach someone not to be a sadistic bastard? No, I'm wrong actually, it can't hurt, can it. Maybe it never occurred to someone not to be like that.
Footnote: Do you know how I met my best friend twelve or thirteen years ago? Her mum was in a shelter, running away from her dad, very similar situation to mine, and put a pin in a map, and hit Northampton, where I grew up. Unlucky for them, maybe, but lucky for me. It's funny how things turn out.
OK, back to the telly.