Celebrity Big Brother 2013: Spiedi is a superpower

How does Claire make a fry up for that many people? Spencer looked like he had a proper plateful. Fried bread? I eat a lot of crap, but I'll never understand that. And with butter on first? That must be like 1000 calories alone.
Rylan was in Love Actually and Harry Potter, but blink and you'll miss him.
This thing about Rylan sending his clothes home to his mum is just storylining. I have a feeling it's going to be this sort of show tonight.
I'm glad to see Spencer is rocking a navy teacher fleece today. Oh, don't build snowmen, it reminds me of Alex Reid: 'Aiiiiiiiiish!'
Oh so they're going to a a 'Barbell media' stunt on Spontag. Would they fall for it? I guess they've never seen it before. Oh OK, so it's a fake webchat and the other housemates are questioning them. The tables are turned!  They've got that dude from BOTS interviewing them. Why would Spontag be so nasty in the interview? I don't believe it for a minute. They've been getting on with everyone! This doesn't ring true. I don't like it one bit.
Rylan is enjoying watching Speidi dig their own grave. But this feels like a total set up.
People on a laptop in the Big Brother house! Whatever next.(Mobile phones?)
Spencer calling people 'intense'! Would Spontag fall for this? This is weird. I think it's unfair on them, as weird as that sounds.
Rylan: 'You aint coming to Essex, you prick.' Don't worry, I don't think he was planning to. LOL, 'I bet you were an arsehole at 16 as well.'
It wasn't 'Toadfish jerk.' It was 'Toadjerk'. Get it right. Ha, 'I think they could be a travelling circus if they wanted to.'
Are Big Brother trying to start a bloodbath again? (yes).
They're back in the house. Frankie is so MEEK! He's sharpening the knives but he's not going to bury one in Heidi's back, more's the pity.
Don't you get it Tricia, the stuff on the task was an act, not the stuff in the house? No, I take that back; it's ALL an act, them in the house, them on the task, all of it.
An indignant and self-righteous Rylan is an annoying Rylan. He looks kind of cool tonight, though.
Ah, here's where they drop the bomb. I don't Rylan's going to sit back and be a wallflower now, do you? Ooh, he looks mad. Heidi's twitching. Rylan's come out with a few good one liners tonight.
Spencer: 'I don't have fun doing anything, actually.' What, not even having sex with your beautiful wife? Oh... I forgot, you don't. Are we going to get a 'sorry' out of Spontag? Nah. Heidi's gone very quiet.
Spencer: 'What's not us is weird.' Er... he's afraid of the 'other'. Learn some contrition!
Why has Rylan got foil on his fingers? Is he trying to stop aliens mind-controlling his fingertips? Frankie looks like he could happily wring some necks. I think the pressure of keeping things inside is getting to him. I wish he'd just pop, just like Razor did the other night.
Spontag, don't you feel in the least bit sorry for upsetting people? Sad.
Rylan, what's this 'I don't row with women' bullshit? Us women can probably take it.
I like the way Rylan pronounces 'row'. Rylan: 'they were made for each other.' They were made BY each other.
America party, yay! Spencer's Big Brother's very own George Bush right now.
This all feels too manufactured for my liking. Ah, they're plugging 'Maxitone' tonight, whatever that might be.
I don't believe Spontag for a minute that they knew. Rylan is doing a 'woe is me' face. Heidi: ;we're Americans. We're reality stars.'
At least Tricia has said SOMETHING at last. It was pretty pathetic, but it was SOMETHING. Look at Frankie crawling away again. What a baby. I CANNOT stand fencesitters. He's worse than a fencesitter; he's a fencehider. I don't think BB quite got the carve up they were looking for there, do you?
WTF is Spencer wittering on about Lady Gaga?
'Drop me out' returns! 'The gaff...': love it. At least Rylan acknowledges its good TV.
The snowmen in the garden are quite cute. Probably Spencer will kick them to death, and not even for a task.
Rylan: 'Hand job.' The funniest two words of the episode. Or is that one word? I loved them peering over and I loved 'she's tossing him off right now' followed by 'drop me out' and Rylan fanning his face like a prim old lady. Oh God. I think my £50 is looking safer by the minute. Amen!

Celebrity Big Brother 2013: Those girls are no joke

What's this, a whole series recap?  I watched a bit of The Hills on Netflix last night and Spencer looked so different; like almost good looking but not. Like scary but at least suntanned and young. He was being his usual psycho self, though. He must have done some HARD LIVING between now and then. Was sad to see Heidi looking all normal. It's funny how much of an impact one person can have on you. Scary.
They've gone a bit overboard with that fake snow in the Big Brother garden today, haven't they?
Rylan to Heidi: 'what colour's your hair naturally, mousy brown?' Oops.
Rylan boo-wooing about being too famous to shop because of being mobbed. Have you tried shopping online? Nothing worse than celebrities moaning about people coming up to them. You know what you signed up for.
Heidi, you're suitably dressed. Why is she being teacher's pet now? Spencer is NEVER suitably attired; he looks like he dresses out of Primark. Spencer doesn't like Heidi being told what to wear, I saw him start on someone out of The Hills on it.
A hot tub is no place to have a bath. Would be fun to do that in the snow! Obviously not much happened yesterday as we're dwelling on people having a wash for an hour.
Someone said Spontag never do any housework, but Heidi is sweeping! She's a veritable Cinderella. I don't like this new meek Spontag.
How did Heidi and Spencer get to be 'team captains?' Was it after a call to Saul again? I want Spontag tortured!
This is a horrible task. This is more I'm a Celebrity bullcrap as far as I'm concerned. This task is creeping me out. Eww, seagulls. Dinosaur eyes.
Why are they playing the 28 Days Later music leading up to eviction? Is there a zombie apocalypse coming? This dramatic music is quite good, it's making me feel a bit hyper. Is Spencer's granny hoodie his eviction outfit?
Spontag and Rylan looked REALLY shocked when Gillian went!
I like it when Heidi gets drunk and let's her hair down and dances like an idiot. Toadfish's dancing is funny, too. I love seeing people dancing on Big Brother. I would NEVER dance on TV.
Razor blew his 'a list' story of getting into restaurants with tales of getting the 'A1' seat on EasyJet.
Heidi and Spencer: 'the land of the free, the home of the brave exists... nowhere!'
Aw to Heidi going 'amen' to Rylan's passionate plea to be a parent. She's letting her real self show! Careful. Are Christians alright with gay parents? They're not really, are they. But anything for a vote.
What is 'fabricated reality'? That boggles the mind. 
Could Spontag win it? I think they'll come second. It would be a great shock if they won it and quite good fun. Now if only I hadn't put that £50 bet on Rylan.