Album Review- Eminem: Relapse

Someone once asked me how I aligned my feminist principles with liking Eminem. I replied this:
I liked Eminem because he is the greatest rapper of all time. I read his book of lyrics before I got into him and it floored me, in the same way Speedway by Morrissey floored me. His mock misogyny/ homophobia comes second to his supreme talent (which admittedly, he pissed up the wall more recently).
I think Kim and Stan, which are highly misogynistic, are also masterpieces.
Oh, and he's also very funny. But his last album was weak. And his new single is awful. So how is this going to go? I fear the worst. Let us begin!
The first skit made me laugh, on the first listen anyway! 3am is good, I like his faux Jamaican accent, it makes his raps flow nicely! Ah, tales of bodies all over the floor. That's what we like to see. It's like a comfy blanket, you put a Morrissey album on; you expect to hear him lamenting how he doesn't, you know, like people; put an Eminem record on and if there's no Kim, his mum and some random killings, what's the point?
Haha, and the next track is called My Mom! He doesn't let us down! Lyric: 'I know you're probably tired of hearing about my mum'- no! Do carry on, Marshall. This is good, this is like Slim Shady era Eminem. Really catchy that one! He's doing a funny voice again, and I find it amusing! Am I a teenage boy? In some ways, I'm sure. Aw it's cute when he says 'I still love you' at the end. Dr Dre 2010? Don't get ahead of yourself!
Wow, Insane is really good too, except the mention of felching. He seems to be talking about getting abused by his stepfather. Interesting.
Bagpipes From Baghdad is BIZARRE, was that a Scottish accent?! Ooh, he mentioned Hello Kitty, hehe. I love this, it's fucked in the head! Ah- it feels SO good to have him back! It really does.
His rapping sounded really good on 'Hello'. This album blows Encore out of the fucking water. The tunes are actually good on it too. It sounds fresh.
Is it anti-feminist to find the abduction skit funny? It's ALL just so tongue in cheek, how can you get offended? It's designed to offend stupid people. Don't be one! This is kind of like Stan #2. Ooh, he said my name! Cool. Another good song! About murders!
We Made You (the single) is the worst song by a mile. I think he cheapens himself by making fun of all these z-list celebs who no one really cares about anyway. He's just drawing attention to them. Plus, the tune is dreadful too. This song is trying to be in the vein of Without Me but sounds more like Purple Pills. Skip!
Medicine Ball sees him offending bisexuals, so it's a new form of homophobia at least. Bisectomy! Raping the pussycat dolls... oh dear, he's going for it with this one. I don't it offensive so much as a bit tiresome. He says 'I guess it's time for you to hate me again' but it's more like you want to ground him or take away his pocket money. Christopher Reeve gets some more stick, but I enjoyed the use of the word 'armoir'. We used to have an armoir of awfulness. Ah, those were the days.
I didn't like Stay Wide Awake much, it was a bit dreary like The Way I Am (everyone raves about that song but I don't rate it).
Old Times Sake: yay, Eminem went 'chicky!' Dre does a bit of his pedestrian rapping, but he's still pretty cool. R Kelly dissing! Too easy.
Must Be the Ganga was good, it really reminded me of older Eminem stuff. Deja Vu does as well (as you'd expect!) Ooh, Kim and Hailie namecheck.
Beautiful had another dire sample, but at least it's not the James Blunt song (Dido was quite enough, thank you). I wasn't overly hot on this one, the lyrics and the tune were both on the weak side, and it was quite cheesy.
Crack a Bottle is a lighthearted one with Dr Dre and 50 Cent. 50 Cent got out-rapped, but what's new?
Underground is the last song, in which he tells us what he's been up to during his hiatus, and we got a bit of 'guess who's back'-yay. This song is overblown, but in a good way. He rhymes 'fanny pack' with 'trannies' which is quite nice. The end skit was a bit duff, but hey ho.
I'm being really pleasantly surprised by this album, hurrah! 15 actual songs too, with only 2 duff ones is pretty good value (yes I'm buying it!) I knew the little fella still had it. He's looking awful scrawny though. Go eat some hash cakes, MM. Pleased to have you back.