Vain Men

As I'd already seen the Location, Location, Location's I'd taped tonight, I had to find some other brainless TV to watch when I slumped home from work. So I found this little gem on my Sky Plus 'Anytime TV' which means you can watch it too, if you have sky plus and feel so inclined.
Personally I can't think of anything worse than vain men. Even moisturising is unacceptable to me in a partner, so you can forget about shaving legs or getting a manicure like in this programme. The first guy was from Northampton, my home turf! Typical Shoe Town twattishness. He said 'we're just catching up with women.' It's not something worth catching up with though, is it? Vanity isn't an accolade. It's a curse.
Also, was it a coincidence that half of these vain men were going bald, so they went to the gym and got a spray tan to compensate. Well, let me break it to you, it doesn't! Just accept what nature dishes out gracefully. Don't get your balls sugared! Urgh! Did I really need to see the back, sack and crack wax too? URGH!!! I was literally agog. They filmed right up his crack! It's humiliating! he looked like he wouldn't be able to sit down for a week. Honestly. Just be hairy! You're a MAN! (For the record, I don't think women should humiliate themselves in the name of vanity either; most beauty treatments of that kind can be done in the privacy of your own home- but then I'm very shy about those sorts of things.)
I like dirty, scruffy men. I like geeky, skinny men who don't know what mascara is, and use bubble bath instead of shampoo by accident. I don't like muscles. I look at a six pack and just think of all the hours that person must be in the gym. I look at muscles and just think 'they must be thick'. I'd rather go out with someone a bit chubby than muscly. A man counting calories bores me rigid. It's such a turn off. Vanity smacks of being insecure, and insecurity in a man is not attractive. Men should be confident or nonchalant. Not needy.
I don't like men who sit in the bath for an hour preening (unless they are reading something). I don't even like men who use products in their hair. Mind you, my boyfriend doesn't even wash his hair, which is possibly too much the other way.
Men should look like men. Men shouldn't care what they look like. The whole vanity market is just a money-spinning ploy to make men as neurotic as women.
Run, men! Run for your lives. Stay grubby and hairy.