I know it sounds tragic but my heart soared tonight watching the BBUSA launch show (which aired in the US on Thursday night). It reminds me of such a happy time in my life, when my boyfriend and I just sat in bed for six months watching about 8 seasons of it (actually maybe more). The Glass House can't even begin to compare to the magical drama, backstabbing, and unfairness of Big Brother USA. I have fallen in love (Kaysar, Dan, Janelle, Rachel - yes, Rachel!), hate (Cappy, Jessie, Matty, Jeff) and just appreciated the pure entertainment (Evil Dick, and even stupid Enzo and Renee). There's also the most shocking racism and homophobia you'll ever see and
they do dick all about it, so that's good to get me angry, and I like
to be angry. People also properly break their friends hearts. It's absolutely ruthless (remember Shelly from last year?)
It makes me laugh that they bring some of the same contestants back year after year. I don't really mind though, because they are normally fucking ace and have been shafted. This time they've brought four contestants back as 'coaches'; Britney (Queen of the roll eyes), Janelle (best female player ever), Dan (probably the best male player ever, and a real football coach) and Mike 'Boogie'. Is Boogie his actual surname now? God, he's always been ugly, but he looks completely haggard now. He also looks like he's had botox, ironically. He's got devilish eyebrows going on. Couldn't we have had Dr Will instead? At least he's easy on the eye. And how come they showed Rachel, Enzo, Renee and Jessie at the start? Please, no more Jessie. Please!
Anyway, let's examine these new people. They actually seem like quite a pleasant crowd, there's not anyone stand out odious from the start (like the entire cast of The Glass House). I like the guy who said he'd been 'reading strategic books' before he went in the house. I'd love to see what they were. I like the look of Ian, who looks about 12, the blonde stupid one, the guy with the curly hair, the gay guy with the long hair who looks like a cross between Fabio and that dude off Made in Chelsea and is called Wil with one l... the nurse, quite a lot of them seem alright. What's going on!?
The house looks nice and jazzy. OMG seeing Boogie and Dr Will doing their 'bhahahaha' thing in the DR makes my toes curl. Arseholes! I hate Boogie! He won by accident! He's as bad a winner as Adam, Maggie or Jun, ffs.
I don't think Britney is going to be that good a judge as all she does is roll-eyes, and she got super-shafted in the end. All of the coaches look like they live in mansions.
This Willie guy seems kind of annoying. Hope he doesn't get Head of House. Oh.
I think Boogie picked the strongest team, tbh. I like Frank. I liked Boogie's motivational speech: 'there's a flight to JFK tonight, do you want to be on it, let's go!'
The task they did was pretty fun, I love the tasks they do, and the way they cut them, and just the whole over the topness. The fact they kicked someone out in the first night was really cruel. I'm sad it was Dan's team too, I'd like him to win, plus Jodi seemed lovely, but she was physically the weakest, and I like Danielle. But it could have been worse; a lot worse. Poor Jodi didn't even get a real interview, bless her!
Who will Willie nominate? I suspect it will be another alpha male. It's bound to be someone I like!
I'm not going to blog every episode because I think it's just too niche for my audience; I only know a couple of people who watch it here in the UK and one of them is my boyfriend! Plus it's fun to watch some shows and not have to blog. Plus I'll always be watching them a bit behind. Anyway, you can watch it here, and you should. And you should watch all the old series. It will be the best six months of your life, I promise. I wish I could have those days back when we used to watch four in a row. I've never watched a show that made my heart pound from the drama of it all. And the unfairness! So many people have fallen at the final hurdle (Marcellas!) But these are TV moments you'll remember forever. You'll probably remember them on your deathbed it's so fucking good. Viva Chenbot!
Showing posts with label chenbot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chenbot. Show all posts
Monday, 16 July 2012
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Big Brother USA: Season 13 begins
The best show on TV is back, treading old ground, coming up with new twists, and generally being AMAZING. It feels so weird to watch an episode that is actually happening NOW as we watched so many previous seasons all in a row. It's very exciting for us Big Brother geeks.
Chenbot is in charge as usual, wearing something vile, and talking about it all as if it has some sort of national importance.
The 'twist' this year is that they're working in pairs again (which is a bit rubbish) but the good part is when a pair gets nominated, they have to campaign against each other to get the other one evicted, so they aren't working as a team any more. Should be interesting with some of the housemates being couples...
It's too early to judge the new housemates yet, and I'm not sure of all the names, although I've got a soft spot for virgin motorbike boy already. Rawk dude is getting on my nerves, and I like the southern accent of one of the model women types.
America also voted three couples from previous series' back into the house. Now, America, we need a word, which one of you idiots voted Jeff and Jordan back in? Talk about the most boring couple on earth. She's dumpy and thick, and he's smug and condescending. He talks to her like she's a three-year-old. It was bad enough when she won it last time, why are you giving them another crack of it? They're insipid! We could have had the greatest player of all time, Dan, or the devilish Dr. Will (although Mike Boogie and Memphis would be too high a price to pay for them, Dan and Will should be on their own team of master manipulators.)
Getting Rachel and Brendon back is obviously brilliant; Rachel is one of the best reality show contestants ever. She gets people's backs up brilliantly. I love her laugh! I actually really like her, but she's already jumping the Nikki Grahame shark by re-doing her old phrases ('no one comes between me and my man!) Regurgitating your old shtick never really works. She looks like crap, this year, too, I wondered if there was a lighting issue in the diary room, but my boyfriend scoffed at this. Brendon is a bozo. How long before someone mentions the sexting?
Evil Dick will of course be the one to bring it up. Evil Dick looks like he's spent the past few years drinking heavily, his face is proper bloated, and Danielle looks like she's been smoking crack. What was she thinking with the black hair? She looks fucking dreadful. I mean she looked anorexic before but now she looks deathly. I think she's got some serious issues. And are we really meant to believe her and her dad haven't spoken in three years? Come on now, we're not that fucking stupid.
I can't wait for so many things about this Big Brother, to see the new HOH room, to hear Evil Dick's stupid heavy metal theme tune, see Brenchel soppily encouraging each other in tasks, to (hopefully) watch Jeff and Jordan implode. I know there'll be some amazing twists. And I'm looking forward to finding out about the newbies, too.
I also love the way they just bring oldies back all the time, they just aren't afraid to just give you the same old shit you saw last year. But thank god Jessie didn't get in this time!
Rachel is first head of house, which is crucial, as her and Brendon and Dick and Danielle are bound to be massive targets. They need to team up as they're all strong players, and annihilate the newbies, fast, or they're going to be back out before you know it.
Now, who wants to see my Head of Household room?
Chenbot is in charge as usual, wearing something vile, and talking about it all as if it has some sort of national importance.
The 'twist' this year is that they're working in pairs again (which is a bit rubbish) but the good part is when a pair gets nominated, they have to campaign against each other to get the other one evicted, so they aren't working as a team any more. Should be interesting with some of the housemates being couples...
It's too early to judge the new housemates yet, and I'm not sure of all the names, although I've got a soft spot for virgin motorbike boy already. Rawk dude is getting on my nerves, and I like the southern accent of one of the model women types.
America also voted three couples from previous series' back into the house. Now, America, we need a word, which one of you idiots voted Jeff and Jordan back in? Talk about the most boring couple on earth. She's dumpy and thick, and he's smug and condescending. He talks to her like she's a three-year-old. It was bad enough when she won it last time, why are you giving them another crack of it? They're insipid! We could have had the greatest player of all time, Dan, or the devilish Dr. Will (although Mike Boogie and Memphis would be too high a price to pay for them, Dan and Will should be on their own team of master manipulators.)
Getting Rachel and Brendon back is obviously brilliant; Rachel is one of the best reality show contestants ever. She gets people's backs up brilliantly. I love her laugh! I actually really like her, but she's already jumping the Nikki Grahame shark by re-doing her old phrases ('no one comes between me and my man!) Regurgitating your old shtick never really works. She looks like crap, this year, too, I wondered if there was a lighting issue in the diary room, but my boyfriend scoffed at this. Brendon is a bozo. How long before someone mentions the sexting?
Evil Dick will of course be the one to bring it up. Evil Dick looks like he's spent the past few years drinking heavily, his face is proper bloated, and Danielle looks like she's been smoking crack. What was she thinking with the black hair? She looks fucking dreadful. I mean she looked anorexic before but now she looks deathly. I think she's got some serious issues. And are we really meant to believe her and her dad haven't spoken in three years? Come on now, we're not that fucking stupid.
I can't wait for so many things about this Big Brother, to see the new HOH room, to hear Evil Dick's stupid heavy metal theme tune, see Brenchel soppily encouraging each other in tasks, to (hopefully) watch Jeff and Jordan implode. I know there'll be some amazing twists. And I'm looking forward to finding out about the newbies, too.
I also love the way they just bring oldies back all the time, they just aren't afraid to just give you the same old shit you saw last year. But thank god Jessie didn't get in this time!
Rachel is first head of house, which is crucial, as her and Brendon and Dick and Danielle are bound to be massive targets. They need to team up as they're all strong players, and annihilate the newbies, fast, or they're going to be back out before you know it.
Now, who wants to see my Head of Household room?
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Big Brother USA: The best programme on TV. Ever.
My boyfriend and I have spent the last year watching seasons 3-12 of Big Brother US. I've already seen four or five of those seasons before, but had forgotten enough to still make them interesting. The only reason we haven't watched season 2 is because I know who won (but I suspect we'll still watch it now out of desperation) and 1 because they probably hadn't honed the game properly then. I think it was more like the UK version then.
Big Brother USA is almost completely different to the UK version. The only similarities really are the cameras, the eviction, and the diary room. BBUSA is a billed as a three month long power struggle, and it is HARDCORE. The public doesn't vote, the housemates do, and people you like get evicted the first week, while evil scumbags walk off with the half a million dollars. They mention the money every five minutes, they lie, betray best friends, scream at each other, are freely racist/ offensive without getting thrown out, smash shit up without getting thrown out, and generally just behave like animals. It's brilliant! I don't know how they hold their heads up when they get out of the house, they are mental cases.
Each week there is a fight for Head of Household (HOH) and the tasks are epic, like scenes from Hollywood films (well, some of them). I HATE the tasks in UK Big Brother but in Big Brother USA the contestants life in the house depends on the tasks, so they really matter. It's about as close to enjoying sport as I'll ever get. They have endurance tasks where they hang people off a hook/ spin them round/ put them in a box/ soak them with water all night and just see who lasts the longest. That sort of thing really sorts the people who want it from the people who don't (unless someone tries to 'cut a deal' with you to guarantee your safety and then goes back on their word! I've seen that shit happened enough times).
The HOH nominates two people each week, but and then 6 of the housemates play another competition 'Power of Veto'. If someone on the block (ie. up for eviction) wins the veto, the HOH has to nominate another person. Now you might just think the most annoying/ hated person goes each week like in ours, but quite the opposite. The friendlier, funnier and fitter you are, the more likely you are to get the boot as no one wants to compete against you at the end. So they vote out everyone strong, fit and, well, good, and at the end the seven housemates who got evicted last sit in a jury house, and decide who should win out of the final two. It's normally two people they can't fucking stand because they've all been stabbed in the back by them. And then they have to award them 500,000 dollars (and the runner up gets 50,000). Haha!
You also don't really get to vote with your own free will, there's always a 'sheep vote' where the HOH basically decides who should be evicted and bullies everyone else into voting the same way. Occasionally some serious scheming goes on behind backs, and the HOH gets a nasty surprise. Always good. However once you have a big enough 'alliance' ie. people on your side, you can basically control the votes each week, so some series' a really crappy bunch of people will evict everyone decent, or anyone who stands out or doesn't fall into line, so sometimes it's really frustrating as some really rubbish characters outstay their welcome just because they've got the numbers. But then other years, everything falls into place, and you actually get a fairytale ending.
There have been so many amazing moments over the series, Marcellas's fatal error, Janelle's run as the best female player ever, Kaysar's handsome uselessness, Howie's childish boorishness, Evil Dick and Danielle (a father and daughter who hadn't spoken in three years reuinited in the house- literally explosive viewing), the amazing dastardliness of Dan, the reign of the Nerd Herd, Brendan and Rachel's hilarious romance, Enzo's meow meow, and so many more I can't even remember. So many characters and arguments and genuine twists, not the bullshit you get on our BB (which is still magical viewing in its own way). People sell their own mother to win that show, and it's brilliant to watch. They also only have 3 episodes a week, and they cut it to fuck, so it runs like an amazing soap or drama, with no boring bits. Another really clever thing they do is they hold the HOH competition right after the eviction, so you're always set up for another week, and things can go completely from one side to another from week to week. Everything hinges on the tasks. It literally can turn on a dime, as they are fond of saying.
The host, Julie Chen (Chenbot), is like a stiff newreader type, which is completely at odds with the rest of the show, but you grow to love her a bit. She's there, year after year in an array of 'interesting' outfits.
We have happily watched four episodes in a day, and now we've run out (well, until S13 starts in July) I don't know what we'll do with ourselves.
If you've never watched any and you fancy it, start from season 2 or 3 so you don't ruin who the later winners are, and you've got a year's worth of entertainment ahead. You can even watch 'em all on Youtube. If you like reality, this is the ultimate reality show, there's no question.
Who goes? We don't decide. They do!
Big Brother USA is almost completely different to the UK version. The only similarities really are the cameras, the eviction, and the diary room. BBUSA is a billed as a three month long power struggle, and it is HARDCORE. The public doesn't vote, the housemates do, and people you like get evicted the first week, while evil scumbags walk off with the half a million dollars. They mention the money every five minutes, they lie, betray best friends, scream at each other, are freely racist/ offensive without getting thrown out, smash shit up without getting thrown out, and generally just behave like animals. It's brilliant! I don't know how they hold their heads up when they get out of the house, they are mental cases.
Each week there is a fight for Head of Household (HOH) and the tasks are epic, like scenes from Hollywood films (well, some of them). I HATE the tasks in UK Big Brother but in Big Brother USA the contestants life in the house depends on the tasks, so they really matter. It's about as close to enjoying sport as I'll ever get. They have endurance tasks where they hang people off a hook/ spin them round/ put them in a box/ soak them with water all night and just see who lasts the longest. That sort of thing really sorts the people who want it from the people who don't (unless someone tries to 'cut a deal' with you to guarantee your safety and then goes back on their word! I've seen that shit happened enough times).
The HOH nominates two people each week, but and then 6 of the housemates play another competition 'Power of Veto'. If someone on the block (ie. up for eviction) wins the veto, the HOH has to nominate another person. Now you might just think the most annoying/ hated person goes each week like in ours, but quite the opposite. The friendlier, funnier and fitter you are, the more likely you are to get the boot as no one wants to compete against you at the end. So they vote out everyone strong, fit and, well, good, and at the end the seven housemates who got evicted last sit in a jury house, and decide who should win out of the final two. It's normally two people they can't fucking stand because they've all been stabbed in the back by them. And then they have to award them 500,000 dollars (and the runner up gets 50,000). Haha!
You also don't really get to vote with your own free will, there's always a 'sheep vote' where the HOH basically decides who should be evicted and bullies everyone else into voting the same way. Occasionally some serious scheming goes on behind backs, and the HOH gets a nasty surprise. Always good. However once you have a big enough 'alliance' ie. people on your side, you can basically control the votes each week, so some series' a really crappy bunch of people will evict everyone decent, or anyone who stands out or doesn't fall into line, so sometimes it's really frustrating as some really rubbish characters outstay their welcome just because they've got the numbers. But then other years, everything falls into place, and you actually get a fairytale ending.
There have been so many amazing moments over the series, Marcellas's fatal error, Janelle's run as the best female player ever, Kaysar's handsome uselessness, Howie's childish boorishness, Evil Dick and Danielle (a father and daughter who hadn't spoken in three years reuinited in the house- literally explosive viewing), the amazing dastardliness of Dan, the reign of the Nerd Herd, Brendan and Rachel's hilarious romance, Enzo's meow meow, and so many more I can't even remember. So many characters and arguments and genuine twists, not the bullshit you get on our BB (which is still magical viewing in its own way). People sell their own mother to win that show, and it's brilliant to watch. They also only have 3 episodes a week, and they cut it to fuck, so it runs like an amazing soap or drama, with no boring bits. Another really clever thing they do is they hold the HOH competition right after the eviction, so you're always set up for another week, and things can go completely from one side to another from week to week. Everything hinges on the tasks. It literally can turn on a dime, as they are fond of saying.
The host, Julie Chen (Chenbot), is like a stiff newreader type, which is completely at odds with the rest of the show, but you grow to love her a bit. She's there, year after year in an array of 'interesting' outfits.
We have happily watched four episodes in a day, and now we've run out (well, until S13 starts in July) I don't know what we'll do with ourselves.
If you've never watched any and you fancy it, start from season 2 or 3 so you don't ruin who the later winners are, and you've got a year's worth of entertainment ahead. You can even watch 'em all on Youtube. If you like reality, this is the ultimate reality show, there's no question.
Who goes? We don't decide. They do!
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