So here we are, friends. We've made it. The dragon has been slayed. Now both boys are really winners. We just have to see what awful single they're gonna inflict on them.
Nice to see Dame Gary Barlow has had a haircut and a shave tonight. Perhaps he'll crack a smile, too.
I don't wish it could be Christmas every day, imagine the hangover and the indigestion. This Christmas medley is going on about five minutes too long. Where's Christopher Maloney? Probably in rehab.
I don't think James Arthur's haircut is helping his new chubby face. Jahmene Jugless? I don't think they should do songs again we've already heard. Why can't James sing his own song?
Jahmene is doing Angels, so I'm quite concerned that the fat frog-faced fuckwit is going to come out and start shouting over it. Ah, he didn't. Phew.
I can't believe James Arthur is doing 'Let's get it on' again. He should have done the one with the wub wubs. This was his worst performance, in my opinion. It it involved none of his shouting or emotion, it's just sleazy and gross. Rubbish.
That was nice of Louis to say Nicole was the best mentor ever on the X Factor. Tulisa did a delayed clap. Gary said nothing. He's right though, she seemed to go that extra mile to take care of them and support them.
I'm glad they're acknowledging Cher Lloyd, they never mention her, and she's bigger in America than Cheryl now, and that makes me laugh heartily. I like her cheeky little ways.
One Direction make me feel physically sick, except the one I deem acceptable to fancy. Harry Styles is nothing but a dirty little slag, and adult magazines drooling over them are creepy. Every single one of their 'songs' sounds EXACTLY THE SAME.
I just did some investigative research on the Chris Maloney no-show and turns out he stormed off because he was only given one line in the medley. Imagine if this cunt had won it? What a bastard. I hope he disappears back down the drain, and fast.
Emily Sande is the dreariest person ever. Dull as fuck.
So Jahmene's winning single is going to be Let it be? FFS. Is it a different song for James Arthur? I really hope so. Let's hope Fab Macca doesn't come out. I can play Let it be in the keyboard. I can also play Oh, when the saints. I'd rather listen to the Frog Chorus than this bullshit. Why is Louis supporting Jahmene so hard? What about James?
I miss James Arthur's glasses! His song is better than Jahmene's. I recognise it but I don't know what it is. Was nice what Tulisa said to James. I love James's deadpan replies to everything. He's just so understated. I like people who don't play the game and are just surly on TV.
My boyfriend is so bored he's fallen asleep and I can't really blame him. I just set up a direct debit to Refuge, ironically when Rhianna was singing her dull song, quite flat. Oh now she's 'reimagining' We Found Love in a Hopeless Place. Oh, at least it kicked in at the end. Uh oh, she's making the crowd go 'ooh ooh'. I thought that went out of fashion in about 1989. I'm getting quite bored now.
Dermot: 'The results is in.' Is they? About time. And the winner is... 'Ja.......'
JAMES! Was so nice when him and Jahmene hugged for so long. There's genuine love between them. James was literally speechless.
Nicole looks kind of sad, I think she's sad for Jahmene. Anyway, I hope they don't fuck up James's career. I hope he gets to do his own songs. And he's got to give the proceeds of the song to charity? How's he going to get out of his bedsit at that rate? Jibbed!
That was nice when they all ran on and James was just cuddling Jahmene and didn't even notice Nicole run up. Loved Rylan hugging Nicole at the end.
A feel good ending, and one we could have had in about 30 minutes. Thanks for sending my boyfriend into a coma, Simon. Now I need to stun him awake somehow for Peep Show.
Congratulations, James. A worthy winner. Enjoy.
Showing posts with label X Factor Final. Show all posts
Showing posts with label X Factor Final. Show all posts
Sunday, 9 December 2012
Saturday, 8 December 2012
X Factor: The final
Manchester, so much to answer for. Well, that was a jolly little intro to the show. I watched a bit of programme about N Dubz last night (entirely by accident, of course) and all their songs were about nicking people's handbags! That's not right, is it?
Eh heh - Rylan has arrived! That's how to get the party started. Union J are on scooters. Spraggan! I'm surprised they've let her back in. Urgh, the Afghan. I'd forgotten about her. If only Ella (or Union J) were in the final rather than Mr 'Thanks for your support, it's been amazing' zzzz.
Jahmene looks like a little midget next to James and Chris. I never realised he was a little hobbit. I don't think Chris can open his mouth without 'thank you for support' coming out. He's worse than Khloe Kardashian and her 'emotional/ phenomenal' double bill of inanity.
My boyfriend just demanded I that I don't vote for James Arthur as I'll ruin his career. But I can't sit back and let Chris win. Not on my watch.
Nicole looks nice in red. Not sure Tulisa's dress fits her. Gary needs a shave. She described Jahmene as a 'man child'. This is the best publicity Asda has ever had. Let's hope Jahmene doesn't end up with an 'Oops' sticker on him. Nicole has obviously never eaten Asda meat or she wouldn't be so excited.
Ugh, now he tells us he's religious. How depressing. Nicole: 'Pray and vote for Jahmene.' But mostly 'vote'.
Jahmene has rented out Big Ben for the night. It's a big old venue, isn't it? He looks like he's got one of Hugh Heffner's jackets on. Falsetto times. I think that song quite suited him, actually.
I'll be interested to see what single they've picked to suit these three. A gospel, wub-wub cruise-ship combo. More likely it will be something completely unsuitable like Cannonball for Little Mix last year.
'THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT. ME NAN. EXCITED.' Argh! Shutupshutupshutupshutup. Nice cake. Maloney cupcakes. Creepy. Bloody Liverpool, first The Beatles, now this.
'He's as good as Nat King Cole.' That's a bit of a strange comparison. Gary, don't pretend you're ever going back to Christopher's nan's house again to eat her Iceland cream cakes. 'No one's stopping you.' Chris: 'except James and Jahmene.' Ha.
Chris is in the ghetto (blaster). What's this dated old trot he's singing? I feel like I'm at a musical and I hate musicals. Why is Nicole smiling? This man is standing in the way of her boys. Yay, Harry Hill ending. Christopher is a fan of the Harry Hill ending, and the rubbish songs he sings lend themselves to them. Louis: 'you're not going back to Liverpool.' Does he know something we don't? No one actually commented on his performance, it was all just sympathetic flim-flam.
Where's Olly Murs? I read this week that in a One Direction magazine they described Caroline as 'grandma Caroline' and said she 'looked like a goat'. Harsh! I think she's brilliant and pretty. She has come dressed as a Victorian nanny tonight.
'Christopher's another Tom Jones.' Oh God, one was enough. He's definitely using the same shade of fake tan.
I like Kevin Bacon talking about Jedward and Hollyoaks. I think that's the only advert I've liked all year.
Are they going to let James sing one of his own songs... nooooo, of course they're not. James channelling Dorothy: 'there's no place like home.' James Arthur has a nan, too. Nicole's horror at a bedsit. Yes, that's how people live, Nicole, you patronising cow. Welcome to Britain. I've lived in a bedsit smaller than that. Is Nicole his backing dancer now?
James is walking on stage like he needs the loo. He's doing Nina Simone, the Muse version. He's got pyramids behind him, so the Illuminati are on side, at least. He's got his jacket on, but it does look cold in there. He does look a bit Phil Mitchell in it, though. I watched his first audition last week and he looked like he'd put on about three stone. I still fancy him, though.
Don't worry, Tulisa, they'll know James is British from the teeth. And they will run away, crying. But we'll have him back. We embrace the bad tooth. Not nice of Nicole to call him 'mahoosive.', lol.
What's this song Kelly Clarkson is singing? Doesn't she have a couple of catchy ones? Why do they always do their dreary new single? Is this country music? It's awful. I don't think they've showed her face once. Has she got a massive spot or something? It's like Brandon Flowers behind those blinds all over again.
Do you think Nicole will ever speak to Jahmene again after this? Or will it be like the Pussycat Dolls all over again, and she'll change her number?
Oh Christ, Jahmene's singing Whitney. Has Nicole's mic broken? She's professional, isn't she? She's fixing that situation seamlessly! She coached him through that well. She doesn't sound bad, actually. I thought it improved it, if anything. It was added drama.
She looks MAD now. Someone's head is going to roll! That's the real Nicole right there! Jahmene handled that situation well, too. The term 'mic runner' is never going to be truer than in this moment. It'll be like someone who's done a failed lie detector test exiting the Jeremy Kyle studios.
Aw, Chris giving Gary the frame for his OBE was cute. My boyfriend just said, 'One day Chris Maloney could be OBE.' Hmm.
Gary and Chris are singing Rule the World. Ella sang this one better! My boyfriend says Chris is singing better than Gary. I despise them both equally. Chris looks so happy, bless him, in his Butlins jacket. How is Gary playing piano with one hand?
OMG Gary's as short as Dermot, and I've seen Dermot in Waitrose on Holloway Road, and he was short.
Ugh, what is this dreary song James and Nicole are singing? Awful song choice. They look like they're sat on the loo. I preferred 'Rule the world'. Nicole still looks miffed, and is giving James a weird look. Is she short-circuiting?
I like Rita Ora, she looks cool (usually) and I like that VIP song. What's up with her legs? Has she got clown pants on? Probably the most unflattering trousers I've ever seen. MEDLEY. I reckon she's going to rip those trousers off. She's got a Virgin Mary tattoo, cool. This second song is rubbish. Her hair is a bit Hilary Clinton tonight, but I still find her interesting. She looks like she needs to put a bra on, too. I think her stylist hates her. No trouser rip off, either.
Is Kylie going to do her reimagined version of Locomotion? I certainly hope not. She looks good, I think that dress is giving her fake curves. I like her hair colour and her eyebrow doesn't look like it's stapled halfway up her forehead either. I wouldn't mind looking like that in my mid forties. LOL Dermot is barely taller than Kylie, the smallest person in pop.
Ooh I was really worried when Jahmene went through that it was the end of James. But they did it. Yay! Happy times. Chris was a good sport, too. It was nice seeing Nicole hugging Dermot. Her boys made it!
LOL to the cameraman hitting the deck there! There's been a few rewind moments tonight.
Jahmene is carrying James! He must have the strength of ten men. Must be lugging all those tins in Asda.
That was good! It didn't drag too much either and I watched it with the adverts. James FTW! Maloney has been defeated. We can all sleep at night again. See you tomorrow.
Eh heh - Rylan has arrived! That's how to get the party started. Union J are on scooters. Spraggan! I'm surprised they've let her back in. Urgh, the Afghan. I'd forgotten about her. If only Ella (or Union J) were in the final rather than Mr 'Thanks for your support, it's been amazing' zzzz.
Jahmene looks like a little midget next to James and Chris. I never realised he was a little hobbit. I don't think Chris can open his mouth without 'thank you for support' coming out. He's worse than Khloe Kardashian and her 'emotional/ phenomenal' double bill of inanity.
My boyfriend just demanded I that I don't vote for James Arthur as I'll ruin his career. But I can't sit back and let Chris win. Not on my watch.
Nicole looks nice in red. Not sure Tulisa's dress fits her. Gary needs a shave. She described Jahmene as a 'man child'. This is the best publicity Asda has ever had. Let's hope Jahmene doesn't end up with an 'Oops' sticker on him. Nicole has obviously never eaten Asda meat or she wouldn't be so excited.
Ugh, now he tells us he's religious. How depressing. Nicole: 'Pray and vote for Jahmene.' But mostly 'vote'.
Jahmene has rented out Big Ben for the night. It's a big old venue, isn't it? He looks like he's got one of Hugh Heffner's jackets on. Falsetto times. I think that song quite suited him, actually.
I'll be interested to see what single they've picked to suit these three. A gospel, wub-wub cruise-ship combo. More likely it will be something completely unsuitable like Cannonball for Little Mix last year.
'THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT. ME NAN. EXCITED.' Argh! Shutupshutupshutupshutup. Nice cake. Maloney cupcakes. Creepy. Bloody Liverpool, first The Beatles, now this.
'He's as good as Nat King Cole.' That's a bit of a strange comparison. Gary, don't pretend you're ever going back to Christopher's nan's house again to eat her Iceland cream cakes. 'No one's stopping you.' Chris: 'except James and Jahmene.' Ha.
Chris is in the ghetto (blaster). What's this dated old trot he's singing? I feel like I'm at a musical and I hate musicals. Why is Nicole smiling? This man is standing in the way of her boys. Yay, Harry Hill ending. Christopher is a fan of the Harry Hill ending, and the rubbish songs he sings lend themselves to them. Louis: 'you're not going back to Liverpool.' Does he know something we don't? No one actually commented on his performance, it was all just sympathetic flim-flam.
Where's Olly Murs? I read this week that in a One Direction magazine they described Caroline as 'grandma Caroline' and said she 'looked like a goat'. Harsh! I think she's brilliant and pretty. She has come dressed as a Victorian nanny tonight.
'Christopher's another Tom Jones.' Oh God, one was enough. He's definitely using the same shade of fake tan.
I like Kevin Bacon talking about Jedward and Hollyoaks. I think that's the only advert I've liked all year.
Are they going to let James sing one of his own songs... nooooo, of course they're not. James channelling Dorothy: 'there's no place like home.' James Arthur has a nan, too. Nicole's horror at a bedsit. Yes, that's how people live, Nicole, you patronising cow. Welcome to Britain. I've lived in a bedsit smaller than that. Is Nicole his backing dancer now?
James is walking on stage like he needs the loo. He's doing Nina Simone, the Muse version. He's got pyramids behind him, so the Illuminati are on side, at least. He's got his jacket on, but it does look cold in there. He does look a bit Phil Mitchell in it, though. I watched his first audition last week and he looked like he'd put on about three stone. I still fancy him, though.
Don't worry, Tulisa, they'll know James is British from the teeth. And they will run away, crying. But we'll have him back. We embrace the bad tooth. Not nice of Nicole to call him 'mahoosive.', lol.
What's this song Kelly Clarkson is singing? Doesn't she have a couple of catchy ones? Why do they always do their dreary new single? Is this country music? It's awful. I don't think they've showed her face once. Has she got a massive spot or something? It's like Brandon Flowers behind those blinds all over again.
Do you think Nicole will ever speak to Jahmene again after this? Or will it be like the Pussycat Dolls all over again, and she'll change her number?
Oh Christ, Jahmene's singing Whitney. Has Nicole's mic broken? She's professional, isn't she? She's fixing that situation seamlessly! She coached him through that well. She doesn't sound bad, actually. I thought it improved it, if anything. It was added drama.
She looks MAD now. Someone's head is going to roll! That's the real Nicole right there! Jahmene handled that situation well, too. The term 'mic runner' is never going to be truer than in this moment. It'll be like someone who's done a failed lie detector test exiting the Jeremy Kyle studios.
Aw, Chris giving Gary the frame for his OBE was cute. My boyfriend just said, 'One day Chris Maloney could be OBE.' Hmm.
Gary and Chris are singing Rule the World. Ella sang this one better! My boyfriend says Chris is singing better than Gary. I despise them both equally. Chris looks so happy, bless him, in his Butlins jacket. How is Gary playing piano with one hand?
OMG Gary's as short as Dermot, and I've seen Dermot in Waitrose on Holloway Road, and he was short.
Ugh, what is this dreary song James and Nicole are singing? Awful song choice. They look like they're sat on the loo. I preferred 'Rule the world'. Nicole still looks miffed, and is giving James a weird look. Is she short-circuiting?
I like Rita Ora, she looks cool (usually) and I like that VIP song. What's up with her legs? Has she got clown pants on? Probably the most unflattering trousers I've ever seen. MEDLEY. I reckon she's going to rip those trousers off. She's got a Virgin Mary tattoo, cool. This second song is rubbish. Her hair is a bit Hilary Clinton tonight, but I still find her interesting. She looks like she needs to put a bra on, too. I think her stylist hates her. No trouser rip off, either.
Is Kylie going to do her reimagined version of Locomotion? I certainly hope not. She looks good, I think that dress is giving her fake curves. I like her hair colour and her eyebrow doesn't look like it's stapled halfway up her forehead either. I wouldn't mind looking like that in my mid forties. LOL Dermot is barely taller than Kylie, the smallest person in pop.
Ooh I was really worried when Jahmene went through that it was the end of James. But they did it. Yay! Happy times. Chris was a good sport, too. It was nice seeing Nicole hugging Dermot. Her boys made it!
LOL to the cameraman hitting the deck there! There's been a few rewind moments tonight.
Jahmene is carrying James! He must have the strength of ten men. Must be lugging all those tins in Asda.
That was good! It didn't drag too much either and I watched it with the adverts. James FTW! Maloney has been defeated. We can all sleep at night again. See you tomorrow.
Friday, 14 December 2007
The X Factor Final Drinking Game
I wrote this for my mate at the Rhydian fan site but I want my mates to get trashed too! Enjoy...
The X Factor Final Drinking Game
Your drink of choice, but I suggest measures of one shot or one glass of wine, or one
pint of beer... warning, you will be absolutely HAMMERED by the end of this.
You must down your drink in one for any mention of...
'a journey...'
'you've come such a long way'
'that was a very safe performance'
'you'd better do better with your second song'
'the voting is really close'
'I think you're at risk'
'fabulous!'
'nailed it'
'owned the stage'
Simon saying any of the following...
'karaoke'
'cabaret'
'wedding'
'hotel'
'world class'
'100%'- one shot
'110%' two shots
'150%'- three shots
'a million/ billion/ trillion percent'- four shots- god help you.
Bonus drinks...
Any of the judges or contestants crying
Dermot crying
Simon alluding to Louis being gay
Louis alluding to Simon being gay
Dannii making an inappropriate whooping sound
Sharon mentioning her kids/ Ozzy
Kelly Osbourne in the audience
Louis dissing Dannii's pop career
Simon winking
Louis squinting
Louis mentioning Westlife
Simon stands up to applaud someone's act
Sharon dances to someone's act
Any past contestants spotted in audience
Any mention of Leona Lewis or Shayne Ward
Any of the judges commenting on the other's plastic surgery/ hair/ teeth
The acts being forced to perform a medley
Louis saying either Beverley or Niki should be in the final
Sharon saying 'I'm impartial'
Any mention of dead relatives/ poverty/ illness/ the awful jobs they will have to go back to
Specialist contestant section:
Leon
If he wears a waistcoat
Any mention of Michael Buble
If he clasps his hands together in prayer
If he mentions how he has to do it for his mum
If he shakes
Rhydian
If he wears something glittery
If they play 'Phantom of the Opera' music to introduce him
Any mention of Wales
Any judge saying 'we're looking at the winner'
If he does an overlong plea for votes and Dermot has to interrupt him
Same Difference
If they look longingly into each others eyes
If there are more than 10 other people on stage with them (distraction technique!)
Louis shaking his head in disgust whilst they are on
Louis saying anything about Butlins
Any mention of bullying
Any shots of their local working men's club
Disclaimer: I cannot be held accountable for any liver failure as a result of the drinking game.
The X Factor Final Drinking Game
Your drink of choice, but I suggest measures of one shot or one glass of wine, or one
pint of beer... warning, you will be absolutely HAMMERED by the end of this.
You must down your drink in one for any mention of...
'a journey...'
'you've come such a long way'
'that was a very safe performance'
'you'd better do better with your second song'
'the voting is really close'
'I think you're at risk'
'fabulous!'
'nailed it'
'owned the stage'
Simon saying any of the following...
'karaoke'
'cabaret'
'wedding'
'hotel'
'world class'
'100%'- one shot
'110%' two shots
'150%'- three shots
'a million/ billion/ trillion percent'- four shots- god help you.
Bonus drinks...
Any of the judges or contestants crying
Dermot crying
Simon alluding to Louis being gay
Louis alluding to Simon being gay
Dannii making an inappropriate whooping sound
Sharon mentioning her kids/ Ozzy
Kelly Osbourne in the audience
Louis dissing Dannii's pop career
Simon winking
Louis squinting
Louis mentioning Westlife
Simon stands up to applaud someone's act
Sharon dances to someone's act
Any past contestants spotted in audience
Any mention of Leona Lewis or Shayne Ward
Any of the judges commenting on the other's plastic surgery/ hair/ teeth
The acts being forced to perform a medley
Louis saying either Beverley or Niki should be in the final
Sharon saying 'I'm impartial'
Any mention of dead relatives/ poverty/ illness/ the awful jobs they will have to go back to
Specialist contestant section:
Leon
If he wears a waistcoat
Any mention of Michael Buble
If he clasps his hands together in prayer
If he mentions how he has to do it for his mum
If he shakes
Rhydian
If he wears something glittery
If they play 'Phantom of the Opera' music to introduce him
Any mention of Wales
Any judge saying 'we're looking at the winner'
If he does an overlong plea for votes and Dermot has to interrupt him
Same Difference
If they look longingly into each others eyes
If there are more than 10 other people on stage with them (distraction technique!)
Louis shaking his head in disgust whilst they are on
Louis saying anything about Butlins
Any mention of bullying
Any shots of their local working men's club
Disclaimer: I cannot be held accountable for any liver failure as a result of the drinking game.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)