Film Review: Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

The only thing I ever liked about Indiana Jones was the young pre-dead River Phoenix. Oh and the polystyrene (let's face it) ball rolling bit. But a bit of shlock every now and again (ha! every hour of every day) does no one any harm.
I've not read any reviews of this so I had no idea what the general consensus is (always the best way). At first I thought Hans Solo did look a bit past it, he seemed to have his trousers up really high and was shuffling around a bit. But he warmed up after about ten minutes, and pretty soon he looked about 45 again. Quite impressive for an old dude really, even if he is a little jowly now. Shea Le Bouffant was another story, I thought he was pretty dreadful, Hollywood's very own Stephen Beale. He has a peculiar face, let's face it, he's not in River's league, looks or acting-wise. Mind you EVERYONE'S acting was wooden for the first twenty minutes or so. Cate (Kate? Don't make me look it up) Blanchett's accent was very ropey initially but she settled into it. Jim Robinson only had about two lines and fucked them right up, mate.
But anyway, I'm picking holes. If I wanted to pendantic it up, the ridiculous plot would probably be a good place to start, but that would just make me sound like Christopher Tookey (your favourite fascist film reviewer c/o The Daily Mail). So instead, you might as well just go along for the ride, which I did. The film is well-paced, entertaining, non-draggy with some funny moments (the motorbike chase at the start and the monkey bit were pretty good). I liked the alien theme, and the crystal skull looked very cool. There was a lot of action, the sets were spectacular, and thankfully George Lucas and his freaky beard-as-jawline didn't fuck it up too much (although those moles at the start had his grubby hands all over them).
It does remind you of being a kid and all that Goonies-esque action. It wasn't toooooo cheesy although it walked the line a little at times.
All in all an enjoyable, mindless romp. And why not?
Conclusion: I'd still rather do Ford than La BOOF!