Thursday, 4 April 2013

Jodie Marsh: Bullied

You're not one of those dullards who hates Jodie Marsh, are you? Sometimes I think hating Jodie Marsh is just something people feel they're expected to do, like a default setting in humans that they don't really think about. Well, stop and think about it for a minute. Jodie Marsh is actually quite amazing. There's lots of things I love about her. Her digging out Pete Burns in Big Brother about the 'gorilla' coat (and he did bully her, and others on that show, and I don't throw the word 'bullying' around lightly, like they like to on Big Brother). Her completely mental blog (now defunct); it kept me amused for HOURS during one particularly boring job. Her ill-advised TV marriage. Her lesbian period (is she bi now, or is that done with?) Her tattoo period including her dad's wonky tattoo. Her obnoxiously bright red hair. I'm not into weighlifting, but I admire that she can do it. It takes a LOT of discipline to have a body like that, and go on that strict a diet. But my favourite thing about Jodie Marsh is it's always something different with her. There's always a new scheme cooking, and I admire than in a person. She bounces back, no matter how many times people knock her down, how many boring jokes about her nose, which incidentally, looks completely normal. I like the way she goes on about bullying and vegetarianism until you're bored senseless. I just like the way she is. You've got to hand it to her, as well, she keeps getting TV shows. And if you put her up against her old 'nemesis', the monotone beach-ball, botoxed, dead-eyed, sexless Jordan, Jodie ALWAYS comes out on top. No kids, no baggage, just a spring in her step, and a plan to change the world. Next year she'll probably be your MP or she'll be in the circus, or she'll have had a religious conversion. So, take another look, and I think you'll find you do like her, after all, don't you? I bet you probably like Danny Dyer, too, if you think hard enough about it.
This show is on Channel 5, so you know it's gonna be good. Jodie Marsh is kind of monotone, too, I suppose, but she's sparky. I wish she didn't have the fake boobs and the trout pout and the botox now, but I suppose there's pressure from Nuts and all that bollocks. But really, she's better than that. That's more Jordan's style.
Jodie has gone to America to investigate their 'unique' form of bullying; school massacres. Oh no, it's the shooters who went on the rampage as a reaction to bullying. Well, it's a fair point. If you hate the world, I suppose it makes sense to take a few with you when you go, especially when you're 15, have never had sex, people are giving you shit every day and there's guns galore. It's not hard to see how it happens.
Jodie goes to talk to a school teacher, who must wonder who made this cartoon character of a woman - with blusher going from her earhole to her mouth - a 'journalist'. Still, it's better than Rick Edwards or John Fashnu's charmless daughter, isn't it?
It's quite interesting that bullying is illegal in America and you can take action in that way. I think it's true that schools in the UK sweep bullying under the carpet. Teachers don't want to know.
Not sure about 'Mr Mojo' who 'empowers' the students; I think I prefer Mr Motivator, and he's creepy.
Jodie flirting with the guy in the school! Naughty!
It was sad when she went to see the parents of a boy who'd hung himself. It's horrible when any child kills themselves because they don't realise that life changes when you get older, but you can't see outside your narrow margin of your tiny world when you're that age. Although I did. I wasn't bullied but I had a difficult home life, and I always had one eye on leaving school and getting the fuck out of town. I feel sorry for those who lacked that imagination.
Oh bloody hell, this next guy she met was left paralysed by school bullies - by one punch! Fuck. Poor guy. That's a tearjerker. Oh my God, and the bully was still at school afterwards! WTF? The school took no responsibility?! How could this poor kid even have to go back to the same school?
Ok, they sued the school for four million dollars, so schools are forced to be more responsible (because of money, not because they care about kids). But what about the individual who did it? He just gets of scot-free?
I liked the 'it's cool to be kind' teacher who played music instead of having a school bell and educated students to step in and defend other kids. It's so 'American', though, can things like that ever work here? We're too cynical! See; Jodie wants to change the world. I like that about her, it saves me the trouble, as personally, I can't be bothered.
You can't stop bullying unfortunately, it's like trying to achieve world peace, or stop people being arseholes. But schools could definitely do more. I remember the first day I went to 6th form college and someone held a door open for me, instead of spitting on me, and I actually felt shocked. And I wasn't even bullied at school, I was just a grebo so got shit for the way I looked, but I was a tough little teenager and gave as good as I got. My dad was of the 'if someone hits you, hit them back' school of parenting. So if that was my minor experience, god help the weak kids who didn't dare say boo to a goose. It's funny to think Jodie Marsh was probably that girl once, a little mouse, and now look at her, begging to be looked at. And you don't like her? You animal. You bully!
And Pete Burns: I haven't seen you on TV lately.

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