So it's the post-Christmas, pre-new year gap, and I'm just glad to be finally tasting food again. After a Christmas Day that involved waking up and bursting into tears because I felt so ill, and then went on to involve NO turkey, NO chocolate orange, NO booze, and NO presents on Christmas day as I was too weak, I'm just glad to be able to sit up straight now. I must be the only fucking person in England who LOST weight over Christmas. BOO!
But anyway, who cares about my ailments? Only me and all those within germ-spitting distance. I still managed to squeeze in a healthy amount of Christmas TV in between crying, chain-sucking strepsils, and avoiding particularly offensive family members.
Just before the worst of the fever struck, my mum said 'Do you want to watch a film?' and I archly said 'I only like kitchen sink dramas.' in my best Morrissey voice. Sadly, she took me quite seriously and put on 60s black and white drama Saturday Night and Sunday Morning. Actually, it was quite good, if you don't mind very little happening in a film, which I didn't. I like seeing how things used to look as well, and everyone looked very cool and smoked a lot. It had a bit of a weird ending though; like it ended in the middle.
On Christmas day itself, I opened my eyes for the Top of The Pops Christmas special; which was oddly enjoyable. The soaps were good but not great; I think Eastenders hit the mark the best with the Sean-baby saga. Tony sticking Jed in the box on Corrie was good fun; but not quite as dramatic, somehow.
I hated Deal or No Deal at Christmas, it's rubbish without the usual contensants when it's for some person who's 'deserving'. Zzzz. I slept through most of those.
I think it was Boxing Day when I watched ET on ITV2, which was dreamy; still just brilliant. Thank God CGI hadn't been invented to mess it up then. Pure perfection. Elliot is like a proto-type Conor Oberst. Drew Barrymore is fab. Harry Hill was good that day, too.
The rest of the schedule was pretty awful; we had to resort to playing games (not that much fun when you can't drink). We watched Cloverfield again (very good) and a zillion countdown shows; annoying people, best films, best songs, and so on. Lists and lists and lists.
Worst programme of the festive seasion was the utterly dire 8 out of 10 Cats- Best Bits. If those were the best bits, I shudder to think how chronically unfunny the rest of the fucking thing was. I thought comedians were meant to make you laugh? I pity the likes of the dazzling Charlie Brooker and always-great David Mitchell having to pretend to laugh at that one that looks like Billy Mitchell, and tha fat cunt off of Gavin and Stacey. I can't even bear to look at that pig-faced charisma-void, he makes my skin crawl. Utterly awful in every way, I strongly advise you to walk slowly away from that burning car crash, Jimmy Carr. Another serious of Your Face or Mine? would be seven billion times it's superior (seriously; that show rocked). Halfway through we switched over to a repeat of Ponderland and the relief of unbridled laughing at someone genuinely talented was a stark contrast to the back-slapping bullshit we had been suffering through. Oh yeah; and Christmas Ponderland was brilliant too; although Russell's new beard makes him look sinister. Still, thank God we still have him; because lord knows, we need him.
The only other thing of note we watched was the E4 special Why I Love Celebrity Big Brother. It was really fun to see all the previous years; the best of which had to be the heady mixture of Chantelle, Preston, Jodie Marsh, Pete Burns, Barrymore and George Galloway. Just magical. Jodie Marsh was robbed; she definitely had more to offer. How I loved the innocence of Chantelle's green eyeshadow! Sigh. So yes, I am VERY much looking forward to the new series on Friday. And still hating Jade for getting it cancelled this year. It gives me something to mouth off about anyway and I can't wait!
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