Saturday 13 July 2013

Big Brother 2013: Inspector Clueless

We've been watching live feed! Charlie is a cow! She's sold Dexter down the river. What does he see in her? She's got a permanent hangdog expression, spindly eyelashes and she's obviously going to turn into Jackie sooner rather than later. I can't stand her, she's the new entry at the top of my hate list! Also, I wish everyone would shut up about food on the live feed! It's all they ever talk about. Just feed these fuckwits!
Dan's drama about trainee policeman he was talking about writing sounds good/awful. It's interesting to hear them talk about shit like that anyway. And it's good not to have to look at Wolfy anymore.
Dexter: 'I feel like someone got an ice cream scoop and cut out my insides.'That would take a while.
Callum's almost got normal colours on today. We think a bum bag would look good with his usual garb. Dexter says Callum's a 'smorgasbord of personalities.' And clothes choices. Dan and Dexter are bonding over their Callum dislike.
Did Daley just refer to himself as a 'pretty boy'? Who told him that!?
It is hilarious giving Dan the detective task - inspired! There have been some good editorial decisions this year, I must admit. The show has been produced much better than last year, ie. with some care. Hopefully they learnt some lessons from last year. They couldn't have fucked it up much more.
Have they given Dan a notebook?! Is he rooting through the bins? Is he going to stop and search someone? He'll probably try and stitch Daley up for it cos he's black. Ah, Dan proved his detective skills. Dan's working out in front of the mirror, jungle cats style.
Dexter's gameplan has gone bananas! He honestly thinks the world revolves around him. I hate people who talk about 'girlfriend material' because that implies some people are just 'spunk material' or something else material.
Dexter wants walks along the beach and the '10 minutes after sex where you stare at each other'. That 10 minutes normally involves someone happily rolling a fag in my house.
Wow, Wolfy is wearing a scrunchie! WTF. Aw, it meant more to her than a lot of people in the house. Well, boo woo. See you later, you fake, lying mess. They should have dug her out about fatgate in her eviction interview, too.
Fucking hell man, Callum's leg is going like the clappers! This is a man under the cosh. Hazel looks nice in her outfit. Shame about the clown make up.
Why are the twins and Daley all wedged in that tiny sofa?! There's three spare chairs there! It's like when someone sits next to you on the bus when there's seats free. What did that person in the crowd shout? It sounded like 'Hazel is evil.'
The twins, 'we love you, Wolfy.' Why did you vote her out then? They're just as arrogant as her, and nearly as vile.
I really like Dan's floral shirt!
I wonder if Gina really feels bad about not saving Wolfy? Dexter's Titanic style cufflinks!
Why is Gina upset about the safe house? Was she expecting to live in the safe house forever?! She's not going to get to enjoy that silky sheet after all! I love the fact she wants to go back in and sod everyone else.
Bed wars! Jackie's got a sick note. Gina's not bothered. Fuck you, Jackie!
Jackie and Charlie's DR bicker! God, if my mum spoke to me like that I'd get emancipated.
Daley gave Dexter some good advice: 'try and get in with Jackie.' Ha! Charlie DOES give Dexter mixed signals a bit.
Gina, get a grip. You're going to have to enjoy the ambiance of the main house again. Eat your Weetabix.
I want Dexter and Dan to become friends! I liked their little cuddle. Ironically, Charlie was running Dexter's name into the ground in the bedroom as this chat was happening. In fact, Charlie did not shut up all night. I can only imagine what she was like on drugs. Mind you, having Jackie as a mum would drive you to drugs.
Surely Hazel and Daley can make their OWN mind up about what to do about their own tawdry little dalliance? Why do they need Dexter's opinion/approval either way?
Tree house truth times! Charlie: 'you're cold, cutting, gameplaying, untrustworthy.' Love you, too!
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssnake. Well, rather a snake than a sour-faced shrew. Jog on, skunky.

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