Big Brother 2013 final: The journey ends here

Just rang up for Dexter three times from my mobile and three times from my burger phone. My boyfriend bet on Dexter at 25/1 when he was drunk (my boyfriend) and his name was dirt (Dexter). He gets £500 if Dexter wins! That's not why I want Dexter to win, btw. But it's an added reason! Because it will keep me in finery! 

Where's Sallie! Probably in the tattoo removal parlour. You think Michael would have shown his moley face. I hate his attitude towards the show, and yes, I know he's an ACTOR. I just think he's a DICK, too. Or perhaps he was just playing a dick? No, he was a dick. It would have been cute for him to show up and they could have slipped him a few quid. He just thinks he's above it all. Well guess what, Michael. The crew still saw you on the toilet. Eat that. No, don't eat it. 

Oh, Charlie, stop trying to fuck with Dexter's head on his LAST DAY. 

Ha, they are showing this bit where Sam kind of confessed he loved Gina. It was VERY interesting on the live feed last night. They've not mentioned it, but he was off his face. Loving Gina without her hair extensions! She looks cute. Why is Gina saying 'we might not see each other again' after tomorrow? Because her boyfriend won't let her? She actually dealt with him quite nicely on the live feed. To be fair, he was so sick, he was throwing up. I think he was trying to pay her a compliment. It just went a bit wrong. People going 'he's a game player' because of that are out of their minds. It was probably his most honest and interesting moment.

Slide show! They've really pushed the boat out. Can't they show them some clips instead? UGH, there's moley Michael. 

Oh God, they're kicking someone out already. Please let it be Charlie or Sam (or the twins, to be honest). Gina's roots look a bit orange. If I went to the hairdresser and came out with roots like that I would be BATHING in purple toner. Who did their hair? Is Lee Stafford to blame? Surely not. He has a good range of products for blondes (sponsor my podcast if you like, Lee).Couldn't someone have sorted Charlie's two tone disaster out? It's begging to be one colour! 

Ha, were they chanting 'get Charlie out'! In the final! Cruel. And she's out. Oh I think she HAS had her hair done. But it looks the same?!

Charlie, it was NOT a love triangle. I hate the fact she's slating Dexter at the last minute. Maybe she is right about Dexter, though. I mean, artificial insemination? Maybe he IS gay. Who cares, though! Dexter is entertainmentz. Dexter is Exitainmentz! 

Get off the stage, Charlie. You're boring. Charlie wants to see Sam win. Zzzz. How can she say that when she's spent every second with Dexter lately?! Did Dexter say Charlie was 'stylish' in that clip? That's the funniest thing I've heard all night.

Gina and the twins wedged on that little sofa. LOL.

Oh God, next one out! Jack and Joe! Yes! They didn't look shocked. That cunt crowd shouting 'Get Dexter out.' Boooooo! 

Gina looks like she's pissed herself. She's got a massive stain up the back of her dress. Jack and Joe's pointing pose was the lols. 'You raise me up'? I thought they asked for Jessie J's 'Wild'! (However that goes). Sack someone!  

I just accidentally voted for Dexter another three times. I want him to win it so much! He's clicking his pen, bless him. Hold on, why has Dexter got a pen in there? You're not allowed pens in Big Brother! Gameplanner, etc. Oh, someone said it's a keyring. 

I am sooooooo peed off they're putting on this dome jizz in the middle of BB, even if it does have Hank in it. I do want to watch that show but NOT tonight. I want to watch the BB final and not go to bed at 1am! 

I have warmed to the twins... oh, until they started slagging off Dexter. They've gone all sassy! Boo. I was right about them all along. Not liking 'deep conversations' is PATHETIC. Charlie's conversations are not deep, though. They're just drivel. 

The twins slag off Dexter AGAIN! They are so bugging! Lower your tone and strengthen your comedy routine. It needs a LOT of work. At least they didn't mention food in their interview, or did they? 

HA, Emma saying 'they are really nice boys.' Put a sock in it, Emma. 

None of the three finalists sitting together! Shocking. Can't believe the negative chants for Dexter. Arseholes.

OM-Gina! Gina is third! Gina didn't look shocked to leave, either. It was Hazel that did for her and it serves her right. Calling Hazel a 'whore' was the last straw. She was swanning round like she owns the place. Gina is getting boos, too. 

Gina was so lucky to survive that first week. Ha, Emma mentioned her washing up a cup. I'm glad Gina didn't win. But I wish she'd come second. She deserves it over Sam and then some. Still slating Hazel! Tragic. I hope Hazel gives her a slap at the after party. You could have been one of the best winners, ever, Gina.  

I can't see Dexter and Sam holding hands in the final minutes, can you? 

Ha, Gina 'everyone knew' about Sam saying he had a crush on her. I thought she was quite dismissive of him.

I think it's so cruel to make Sam and Dexter sit there waiting for an hour whilst they show some Stephen King drama. It's like putting on the Langoliers in the middle of a football match. I mean, I will watch the show, but I'm not going to be forced to watch it now. Motherfuckers. 

God, we really need this £500, you know, we're brass. (Notice I've claimed half already) If Sam wins, I'm probably going to cry.

Honestly, it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE trying to avoid spoilers! So many people are going to have this ruined for them. I think it's especially ironic after a couple of years ago they dumped the live feed and said people preferred to get updates via social media. Well if people prefer to get updates via social media tonight then the show is going to be ruined for them. It shows a complete lack of respect for the fans and for the show. I find it offensive. Also, by the time they get on BOTS they'll have been chilling for half an hour. I prefer my housemates like rabbits in the headlights, don't know about you.

And we're back. I've got a really bad feeling about this. Really bad. As they say in the Big Brother house, I'm not gonna lie. I'm shitting myself. The public have made the wrong decision so many times. Denise. Ulrika. Paddy. And that's just the celeb series. 

I can't believe they're plugging their hashtag. Arseholes! Do not type that hashtag into Twitter. I bet literally thousands of people were spoilerised tonight. Thanks C5. It's a shame as it's been a great series, and it's a cheap and tacky way to end it.

Dexter vs Sam. Damn. Why do I feel like I'm going to be saying that in a minute?

I feel sick. Dexter's not got his Tuco shoes on. Boo! They both look like they're gonna crap themselves. 

Oh no. Oh no, Sam did it. FUCK! I'm so sad. I am seriously so sad. And not just about the money. It's just an injustice. 

Aw, Dexter was too cute going 'thank you so much.' The twins sour faces! Fuck them. I wonder how close it was. Ha to people going ssssssss at Dexter.

Look at the way he's sitting in that chair. Such a badass. This is SUCH a disappointment. Probably the most disappointing winner ever. 

We missed out on Dexter's face. I missed out on champagne. This is just the worst. My boyfriend is going to kick something! So much for the journey! Dexter missed his stop. 

I feel like I'm going to puke. I honestly don't want to watch this. Sucks soooooo bad. I don't know how Emma can maintain the rictus grin. 

I can't even understand what he's fucking SAYING! Did Sam's rubbish jokes win it for him? Or was it his casual sexism? They didn't mention Jemima in his interview, I notice. 

I just broke the news to my boyfriend over the phone that he lost his bet. His response? 'We'll have to go and do some crime instead.' I actually cried as I was telling him. So close. Sooooo close. That was like telling him someone had died. Someone we weren't that close to, but even so. 

I'm going to think of Sam when on my days off this week and I'm drinking own brand redbull and Glenn's vodka instead of CHAMPAGNE. You BASTARD! 

PS: No podcast tonight as he's working, but we'll do a sad little wrap up along with the CBB launch show. See you then! It's been emotional. 

Big Brother 2013: I thought you were obnoxious and really strange

It's almost over! WHY is it ending on a Monday? I don't even get paid until Tuesday so I can't even have a drink when I watch it ON MY OWN because my boyfriend is working. Boo to the schedulers.
Why do all these girls go to bed with their make up on! I know they're on telly but your skin! No wonder Gina's got bad skin. I go to sleep with my make up one when I'm drunk, don't get me wrong. Ah, then Gina wakes up and trowels more on. Can you imagine sleeping with her? You'd be covered in it.
I wish Dexter would STFU about Charlie, but it's a bit late now. I know it hurts his game, I only hope it's not fatal.
Press conference! I'm glad Sophie's gone so we don't have to listen to her try and justify her existence here.
Charlie, you don't KNOW YOURSELF™. And we don't want to know you.
Dexter: that spot! Comb your fringe down, for God's sake.
Did you know Sam was deaf? He's never mentioned it!
Why is Dexter reading off a card? Journey, journey, journey. Dear Lord. Is he doing a poem? Christ.
Twins are doing a good strategic speech saying others deserve to win over them. I could actually see them coming third.
Ha, I liked the questions from 'viewers'. Charlie got put on the spot!
Ha to Vanessa calling Sam boring! How can he not know who Vanessa Feltz is? She's a Big Brother legend.
LOL to Dexter telling John McCruick he's had his day. So true!
Ha, Gina getting all uppity and posh when she was put on the spot by Judy James. Hilarious. She did NOT like that.
That's cool they've got the ex housemates asking questions, that's what they do on BBUS.
Why is Dan setting Dexter up with that question! What does Dexter need to be honest about? That makes it sound like he's got something to hide! Boo, Dan.
Why was Gina squinting at Hazel when she came on the screen? It's not about you, Gina! I like Hazel's new dark hair.
I'm glad Big Brother asked 'is there anything wrong with playing a game?' It's HARD to play a game for ten weeks, so Dexter should be commended.
I like Dexter's curly fringe he's done to cover up his spot for the evening meal! Inventive. I love Dexter's little red jacket. Gina approves of the posh tablewear.
Burping at the dinner table! That's a no no.
These schmaltzy questions are annoying. Gina to Dexter: 'I thought you were obnoxious and really strange.' Ha.
Sam's even admitting he spent half his game in bed. NOT a worthy winner. I'd like to see him out second (after Charlie) tomorrow, then twins, then Gina, then Dexter.
I don't think I've ever heard housemates say they want to stay in the house before; they're normally climbing the walls to get out.
Not more bloody messages from home! Zzzzz. I'm a soppy sod, but still.
No more watching twins in the pool! Shame.
Charlie is ALL OVER Dexter tonight! Is she drunk? Oh God, not more 'boxes' talk. The Weetos are getting good product placement here. God, poor Charlie, from Callum chewing her ear off to Dexter chewing her ear off. Not that she seems to mind.
What's with the plinkety piano music? It's like when they have children with degenerative diseases on an episode of Jeremy Kyle.
I like it when we hear the voices, but it's better to do it AFTER the final. It aint over yet! Aw, it was kind of sad, though.
PLEASE vote for Dexter to win. His face will be worth the 35p.

Big Brother 2013: Adapted by aliens

I'm glad Sophie went, as she gave nothing, and I'm disappointed that no one mentioned her toadying to Gina in any of the interviews. She seemed so awkward and uncomfortable on BOTS! I still don't get how she went, though. Who voted for her?
It's a shame we couldn't get rid of Charlie as well as Sophie as I would have liked to have seen Dexter without her in the last few days. She sucks the life out of him, she's a complete emotional vampire.
Gina has been 'adapted by aliens'. If only.
Dexter's chains and boxes analogy is so turgid. What's in your box, Dexter? It's probably the penny.
Why does Gina paint her face white? I bet she'd look really stunning with the right colour foundation on. Instead she looks waxy.
Genie task. I guess we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel now. Oh God, Charlie's got her top off. Groo.
Dexter and Gina singing I Will Survive. TV joy. I love them together!
Why is Dexter so sure Charlie's going home? Ah, now he's banging on about his journey in the Diary Room. Yawn.
I don't remember seeing Charlie in her bikini before. She's got a nice body, but somehow she's completely sexless. Imagine what she'd be like after sex. I bet she cries.
Oh, Dexter, get a grip. Stop actressing! I think being in the house does mean a lot to him, though. His life must be really terrible if he feels safer being in that bubble.
I don't even get why Sophie got boos. She's so dull I couldn't even be bothered to waste my breath.
Charlie's lipstick and lip liner looks more befitting to someone her mother's age. This girl is harder to get rid of than a yeast infection.
I HATE it when they go 'it's me' when they're waiting to be evicted. So bugging.
I liked the twins reaction to Sophie going. They have been making me laugh recently! There you go. I said it.
Why does Sam think it's 'unbelievable' that Sophie's gone? He's been trying to get rid of her for weeks.
Gina's not happy and I bet she's going to take it out on Charlie. I wish Charlie would shut up. I can't wait until I don't have to hear her voice again.
Everyone: 'Dexter is playing a game.' Yes, it's called Big Brother. Why doesn't someone else try it?
I hate the way Charlie treats Dexter. She's a proper mind game player. She's so manipulative and emotionally abusive! I can't bear it. 'You eyes are like two brown coins'. That's such a nasty thing to say to someone! What a bitch!
Dexter, wake up, you're never going to be with her, and for that you should be SO grateful. She's psychotic.
Oh, Sam, stop digging at Dexter. It's not your best look. Sam: 'Be more wary of Dexter.' She couldn't BE more wary of Dexter!
Gina is right in what she's saying to Dexter. He is being stupid, but to be fair, he's getting really mixed messages. Gina does well to showcase her kind side. Shame we know her bad side only too well now.
Ha, Dexter's telling Charlie basically what Gina said to him word for word. OMG what is Dexter saying? He wants to be with Charlie so much that he doesn't mind having a sexless marriage?! What is he talking about! Gina and Sam laughing at that was hilarious.
Charlie, you can't be best friends with a guy who's madly in love with you, it doesn't work like that. Gina is right, she does enjoy the attention.
I want to see Gina in a pair of jeans or a pair of jogging bottoms! Even her nightie is like evening wear.
'I truly love you, Charlie Travers' was so funny. Wish Sam and Gina has been in the treehouse for that bit.
Oh Dexter. As you said yourself, that's the way it goes... but sometimes it goes the other way, too.

Big Brother 2013: Yous have been evicted

I've heard Sam's favourite to go because Dexter fans have rallied against him! I don't believe it, though. I would actually like to see Sam go the least out of who's up tonight. But I don't really mind who goes. I'd be glad to see the back of any of them.
Hold on, Charlie's talking; now I want to evict her! Hold on, Sophie's talking, now I want to evict her! And so on. If you want to go home, there's the door(s). There's only a week to go, get a grip.
I don't think we should resent Sam for standing up to Dexter; I think we should admire him finding a voice at last!
Sam: 'If Dexter comes to me I'm going to take my hearing aid out.' Cool.
Charlie's got Freddie Krueger's hat on today. One, two, Dexter's coming for you...
Gina being shocked at the way Sam spoke to Dexter. Ha. That's rich!
Gina: 'You can get a train all the way to Manchester.' Seriously, who is she trying to kid? No one is this stupid. No one.
Gina's BFF task. Gina's hair looks like a sheep today. Gina telling Charlie she deserves to go, ha.
Charlie talking... 'Big Brother is bored.' Quite.
I liked the way one twin stuck up for the other one in the fake argument. Gina's acting is crap.
Gina, pointing is rude. But it's not the rudest thing she's ever done in the house. RUDE. ARROGANT. DISRESPECTFUL. etc. This is a bit unfair on the twins. Oh, well. They've had it their way for long enough.
Gina saying she thinks Charlie should leave! LOL. Don't take it personally, though, Charlie, ha. I couldn't agree more with what Gina's saying. 'You just go on and on and on.' No shit. Gina enjoyed saying that shit to Charlie. Full stop.
Things Sophie's done this episode: cried, cowered behind a compact, bitten her nails.
Gina's a better rapper than her boyfriend, anyway. I'm surprised she didn't rhyme 'Zeo' with 'Koh'.
Sophie looks nice tonight. Twins got booed, lol. I can't hate them like I used to, though. One is orange tonight.
I don't feel tense tonight because I don't care who goes. Twins safe and I don't even resent them for it. They've done more than Sam and Sophie. These three up now are float city.
I like Sam's jokes! I can't help it.
How come Joe's allowed to say he wants the money and it's all laughs? When Dexter doesn't, it's all grrs.
Jack and Joe pool times continue! Ha, twins did get booed. 'We're going in circles.' he says, before swimming in circles. You'll miss this sort of entertainment.
I like those jeans on Charlie, I've never seen her wear those before. Why has she got a zip under her boob? Is she breastfeeding? I don't like her saying she wants to leave! Reverse psychology.
Sophie getting booed, lol. OMG, it was Sophie evicted. Wow! Oh, Dexter! Good work, ha.
I'm surprised Sophie got evicted over Charlie. But then she is a toady. I really like her dress but I don't like her wedges. I HATE WEDGES.
Emma: 'Dexter sacrificed Sophie to save himself.' It's not like he had a choice in the matter.
Emma to Sophie: 'What have you done?' Yeah, what HAVE you done? Fuck all.
Bet they mention Sophie 'coming out of her shell'. How long does it take for a thick girl to come out of her shell? Nine weeks, I guess.
This clips package makes Sophie look a lot more interesting than she is. Sophie's interview is dull as hell, too.
The crowd are booing Gina in Sophie's interview! Ha. It would have been better to lose her on final night and have a two second interview with her. It was nice the way she talked about the twins, though. I saw a more human side to her then.
She looked much nicer when she went in! Mind you, the Big Brother house will do that to you. Dexter FTW! Let's make him click his pen to victory. I wonder if it's one of those with a naked lady in it?

Big Brother 2013: I'll sell my soul, what is it worth?

Twist! Well, I know part of what happens (ie. I know they don't really leave), but didn't watch the video of it as the website crashed. I'm glad I don't know it all, though. No one likes a know it all.
My boyfriend likes it when the twins just endlessly list items of food, so you think he'd be enjoying this task. He doesn't seem to be though. Not the squash! That steamroller guy had a good deadpan expression.
They're getting to the twist bit early! Good. Gina is wearing her 'escort' wear and three inches of foundation.
Sophie: 'I wanna just sit here.' Well, what's new?
I needed my boyfriend to explain this task to me because I couldn't work it out! Ha. Charlie would do well to take the money in this task because she has zero chance of winning.
I love the way Dexter looks today, he's dressed like he's going to work on Wall Street.
Sam must be pretty confident he's going to win, or does he really just want to stay in for the whole show?
Dexter, how much is your journey worth?
Twin: 'I don't want to be seen as the bastard who takes all the money, like last year.' Kudos!
Dexter looked sad when he was the one with the lowest amount. Dexter's crying over getting £88,000! Strategy times.
OMG! Dexter is safe for being the least greedy. How ironic. Ooh, he has to put Gina or Sophie up. Put Gina up! He'll put Sophie up. He did. Hurrah! She deserves to go over him.
I'm so pleased Dexter is safe and I don't give a fuck what any of those weasels thing of him.
Shut up, Sam! Of course Dexter's a game player. That's why he's been so entertaining and you HAVE NOT.
I love the way Dexter sits in the Diary Room chair. I love the faces he pulls. His little finger is more entertaining than any of the others, except Gina, and Gina's blown it.
Who cares if Dexter DID want the money?! Maybe he thought his journey WAS worth £88,000. What right to they have to dig him out about it? Dexter: 'I nearly picked the pound.' Ha.
Honestly, you'd think the money was already Sam's the way he's going on. 'Makes me sick he's in the final.' 'What?' 'Never mind.' Yeah, never mind, boyo.
Dexter and Gina DESERVE to be in the final, because they've worked the hardest. Even Gina, as odious as she's been, deserves it over most of these others, because she was an underdog who fought her way to the top. It's just now she's at the top she's gone power mad.
Dexter just said the immortal words: 'If it's your time to go, it's your time to go.'
Gina's happy because he saved her. Sophie: 'That's not going to look good on him.' Oh, shut it. Who gives a fuck what you think? She's right though, it wasn't the least greedy who won it, haha.
I don't see what the others are all bothered about, unless they think they're going to win it?
I love the way Dexter's mind works! He's ALWAYS got his eye on the pound note. Always. He's running rings round these people.
Twin: 'I will boo if Dexter wins.' Shut it, fatty. I'd rather watch Dexter swanning round in his filthy onesie than you wallowing in the pool like a walrus.
Sam calling people a game player is a joke; he's floated under the radar for two months and finally pipes up in the last week or so. It's like Claire from Steps moaning at Speidi for being a game player. It's called BEING ENTERTAINING.
Dexter: 'There's more to life than zeros and noughts.'
Sam is REALLY mad. I think he knows Dexter's got it in the bag and he's twitching about it. That bellend line was alright, though. Sam is funny. But he thinks he's got some divine right to win.
It's not 'come a chameleon', twins. They're a one to talk about acting! Their whole stay in the house has been one fucking act.
Is no one happy that Dexter's got to the final (except Gina?) You think they'd be happy the money is still there, at least.
Ha, Dexter just said pretty much what I said about Sam. He should have said that direct to Sam! Love the fact he mentioned the inappropriate sexual puns, too. Dexter WOULD have given you some money towards disabilities, Sam. But not now. No, the deaf will suffer because of you. He's right about Sam not being entertaining too. He's right about everything here, actually.
I don't care who goes this week out of this lot. I'll actually save myself this money because I'm not going to vote, evict all five of them on Friday as far as I'm concerned.
Dexter FTW!

Big Brother 2013: Joe Swash is really nice, though

I hear there's a twist tonight. What awful thing will it be, I wonder? Someone(s) I don't like walking off with half the cash? I suppose it's not much different from someone I don't like walking off with ALL of it.
Superhero task! Callum would have liked this.
How do people sleep in those onesies? I can't even sleep in pyjamas. It's like going in a sleeping bag - too restrictive.
Is Rescue Squad the best name they could think of for this task? How long did they take to think about it? Not long enough.
There seems to be a real problem with insects in that garden. 'Help me!' They're meant to be the Rescue Squad. Not the Baby Bunch.
I guessed Gina would say she looked best in the superhero outfit.
OMG is that Dexter's willy? He's putting David Bowie's package in Labyrinth to shame. My boyfriend thinks it's padding. Twins in those outfits is not a pretty sight, either. I think one of them's got food down his cossie.
My boyfriend just said, 'I wish Gina would drop dead.' She hadn't even done anything particularly odious at that time.
That laser beam is powerful, innit? CGI, etc. I think they're just advertising food here, to be honest.
Who has taped Sam and Gina together?! This is BS. I wonder how many takes they did of this shit. They couldn't have lost that task because the laser doesn't really work. That was like a proper scripted bit of TV.
I often find I'm wanting to vote one twin out over the other. Not really. I want them both out. But I want Charlie out more. She's duller than them, and that's saying something.
When did Sam start being funny? Was he just saving it until the last week and a half?
That phone looks cheap as fuck. They've literally spent 10p on this task. It's like a BBUS task during the recession.
'If she was a cloth they'd have to wring her out first' doesn't mean someone's dirty, it means they're wet, Dexter, you dope.
'Who's Terry Christian?' Heathens! Do they not watch this show? How can you go on Big Brother and have not watched every episode of every series ever?
Sam does not look impressed that Joe Swash said he was unpopular. Ha.
These tweets are not very nice! Ha. They're quite funny. though. Damning with faint praise.
Who said these tweets?! Where's the names? My boyfriend says the tweets are too long. Someone count the characters! They should read them MY tweets.
Sam - winky expand gate!
Charlie's got done over AGAIN! I liked seeing Gina annoyed. Twin: 'clearly a fan of Hazel.' Haha.
Dexter: 'I like Sam cos he makes my winky expand' says Jeff, 85.' That was a proper laugh out loud moment.
Sam shaking his head at Dexter saying 'there's a difference between being eccentric and being a weirdo' was funny, too.
Gina always needs a new person to slag off! Sophie sits there stirring, but she'd be next on the list if Charlie was gone. My boyfriend just said he's awarding Sophie his 'Jo O Meara' award this year. Gina takes criticism WELL, doesn't she?
Dexter and Charlie on that task: water in the face and all they win is a packet of Maryland cookies. That's your 'I've scraped together 79p' option in the newsagents.
My boyfriend just said 'If I could shoot Charlie between the eyes I think she'd thank me for it.'
Here's a tip, Charlie, if Gina said 'don't say one more offensive thing to me', try NOT SAYING ONE MORE OFFENSIVE THING TO HER. It's your mouth and your brain. Engage them. Don't put that on Gina, that's your problem.
Charlie, here's a good way to start a sentence: 'No, I'm not going to say that...' I cannot STAND the way she operates. She starts shit and then plays the victim. She's even better at emotional blackmail than my mum.
Where the fuck is this twist?!

Big Brother 2013: I don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted

I'm sure I don't look as rough first thing in the morning as this lot do. Dexter, Charlie, soaps. This has all been filler so far. This task with Sophie is like Brian Belo's 'womb people' but about a thousand times less good. My boyfriend has got his eyes closed at this point. I don't think that's a good sign. I don't think that polo shirt is really working out for Sophie.
Sam is always on about his career! BB isn't the job centre. He's pushing the deaf thing hard in the past week.
I already know who gets the free pass: nobody. That rather removes the tension.
How predictable that Sophie didn't understand what 'unanimous' meant. Aren't we tired of the ignorant act now? I'm so tired of thick people being proud of being thick, it's so depressing.
Oh God, not 'save me' speeches from everyone. Even Sam is wheeling out 'journey'. Luckily, they're all too selfish to do a unanimous vote. Thank God they didn't give it to Charlie.
LOL Dexter's crocodile tears to try and get the pass to the final. Love him. At least he said they should do a unanimous vote. Sophie selfishly just wanted to vote for who she voted for, despite the fact doing that meant nothing.
My boyfriend is fast asleep.
Hold on, did Dexter choose Sophie?! If so, why? Oh, I get it, he's trying to be a hero. Ha, Charlie's got the hump about it. Good. See this emotional blackmail stuff she's pulling now. What a cow. She's one spoilt daughter of a bitch.
Charlie: 'I don't want to be somewhere I'm not wanted.' Piss off, then.
Gina and Dexter doing a massive PR campaign here. Yeah, Gina, you've changed public perception once, and right back again. Yeah, thanks for the motivational speech, Dexter, you're Gina's third best friend in the house.
I couldn't be less interested in Dexter and Charlie. I really couldn't. I really hope she goes on Friday. I even feel like the twins deserve it more than her now.
Live face to face nominations... again. I should imagine it will be quite evenly spread. That's the first time they've mentioned the £100K, I swear.
It doesn't feel tense at all because the nominations seem quite predictable.
Charlie is completely holding up the nominations. Brilliant. We won't get to see the end at this rate. Nominate her just for being a flaky bitch. Why is Charlie wearing a teacher fleece?
She nommed the twins. Ooh, Gina told Charlie to nominate her! Brilliant. I hope Gina ends up on the block as a result. The way she just nominated is the reason she should go, she's worthless. She really has no character whatsoever.
Dexter nommed twins and Sam.
Gina nommed Charlie and Jack and Joe. She said the twins don't seem to care about Hazel being nasty to her. I wonder why they don't care!!! Fucking hypocrite. Charlie looked like she was going to cry when Gina nominated her.
Ooh, twins didn't do Gina. That's a shame. They did Charlie and Dexter. Why did they say 'well done Hazel on getting 100K'?
Sam did Dexter and Sophie, Dexter for 'playing a game'. Well, dur.
Sophie did Sam and Dexter. Does this mean they're all up, or they're all up except Sophie and Gina?
Does Sophie REALLY feel bad nominating Dexter? I'm not so sure. She wanted him out since day one.
So up is Dexter, Sophie, Jack and Joe and Charlie. Can we finally evict the twins? Or Charlie? I'm good either way. I hope Dexter isn't vulnerable this week. Hmm, interesting, they've not put up the voting numbers yet... could it be a vote to save? Here's hoping!

Big Brother 2013: Lord have mercy

Is this shit over yet?
Mean of them to show Sophie puking in the loo, even if it was just for a second.
Oh God, Dexter, please get off the Charlie thing, this is what fucked your chances last time. Doesn't he get that? I thought he was a master strategist.
If Hazel is a hobbit, what does that make Gina? Gollum? No, she's more ET when he dresses up like the old lady.
Oh ok, for this task Marcus is telling them what to do. That's cool. Dexter: 'we need the eggs!' That's not in the spirit of the food fight. Cue an egg whistling past his ear. Ooh, someone's got hurt. It's only one of the twins, though. I love the fact the others just carry on. Ha, Gina's gone mad cos someone's put flour in her hair. She's gonna have to shave her her head at this rate.
Ha, Gina has to clean up the kitchen by herself. Serves her right. It's good for her soul to clean up. Remember when she washed up that cup and the nation was proud?
Sam and Jack's romantic stroll - lol. I think both of them are glad of the attention to be honest.
Jack doesn't know what intimate means. 'I don't have many deep thoughts.' That must be what makes you such a stellar housemate. Jack is pulling out the gay card. Don't think it trumps the deaf card, though. And neither top Dexter's JOURNEY card. That's the toppest of the trumps.
Sam: 'Do you find wasps sexual? If you could have sex with a bee or a wasp, which would you have sex with?' What goes on in this boys head?
Who the fuck is Sophie to say Hazel won't stay friend with them 'because she's a model'? Even if you did THINK that, you wouldn't say it, because it's hurtful. I think I preferred her when she was mute.
LOL that's so good making Jack and Joe tell Gina what they thought of her reaction to Gina's eviction. Zing!
Charlie to Dexter: 'You're one of my best mates.' That must make him feel really special. So they're going to force Charlie and Dexter to get off with each other? Really?
Twin worried he's not funny anymore. You were never funny.
What is Levi Roots plugging? Sauce, probably. Why am I having to watch the housemates cook? Isn't there enough cooking on TV? Lord have mercy, indeed.
Levi Roots: lovely man, doesn't really say anything. Mind you, it's better than when they sent Mohammed Al Fayed in.
If you really didn't want to kiss someone, you just wouldn't kiss them, Charlie. If Big Brother told you to jump of a cliff, would you? Actually, she probably would.
Sam is losing the plot, I think. 'I will rule the world... you could burst a balloon with that nipple.'
Why is Charlie asking about Dexter being bi? Look at Dexter twitching when she asked if he was gay. This is pure gaming on his part here. He's trying to think of what's best for his JOURNEY. Do you think Sophie and Gina are listening to this conversation? I would be.
Dexter, what is Charlie meant to do, if she doesn't fancy you, she doesn't fancy you? God, they're both talking in circles, it's unbearable.
Is Levi Roots really having a Chinese takeaway? Really?
Jack/Joe loves his job. He works in a supermarket! Aim higher, as Jeremy Kyle says.
Oh, Dexter, save it. It's the last week, stop scheming and just relax.
Face to face noms tomorrow! I hope Charlie and Gina are up. I've given up on the twins ever going and Sam and Sophie are virtually available to buy on Very they're such fixtures. So let's have one last big shock before the show ends.

Big Brother 2013: I've broken the back of it

Hairdryer wars! Good morning. I think I can safely say now that Gina is a total prick. I would have punched her in the face by now had I been Hazel. And if I was one of the others I'd definitely tell them both to shut the fuck up.
Charlie seems to think it's funny. I personally think it's disgusting. Hazel: 'If it my time to go...' She's probably dying to get out of there away from that witch and those sheep.
WAS Hazel blowing the hairdryer in Gina's face? Was she really? I hate Gina now, and it's such a shame as she's been brilliant up until last week. Now I see the person she was on the first night is the person she really is.
Gina: 'it's hard living with someone so ghetto.' Lucky Hazel didn't say this about Gina, hey?
Dexter to Charlie on her possible eviction interview: 'Don't give them anything for free.' LOL. He's money mad.
Charlie to Hazel: 'You and your ruthlessness.' Bet she wouldn't dare say that to Queen Gina! What a wimp.
I will say something for the idiot twins, at least they stayed loyal to Hazel, even if they didn't exactly stick up for her.
Fuck you Dexter, for cynically saying you're team Gina because you know Gina is more popular. So transparent. Don't want to get involved? That's the attitude! You could be the new H from Steps if you're really lucky. I'd say Sophie can be the new Cleo Rocos but at Cleo Rocos didn't go up to Jade and go, 'Shilpa's been saying you're ugly.'
As fucked as Charlie's personality is, I wouldn't take any advice from either Dexter OR Hazel if I was her.
Sophie is SUCH a shit stirrer! 'She was calling you an ugly bitch.' Rub it in, why don't you?
UGH Gina calling Hazel a slag. She is OBSESSED with saying Hazel thinks she's something special. I think it's GINA thinks Hazel is something special. So she can't call you ugly but you can call her a slag? I despair for humanity.
I think part of the reason Gina was such a odious cow this week was that she wasn't up for eviction so she just went postal. I really hope someone's got the balls to put her up on Monday. I think she could go on the vote to evict because of how she's been.
Dexter laughing at Gina being rotten makes me sad.
Anyone who says 'hashtag' followed by anything needs putting down. The twins were driving me NUTS on the live feed last night going 'haven't we done well to make it to week x?' Just shut up!
Eviction time. Either Dexter's crying, or he's got a piece of strategy onion in his pocket.
Dexter has NOT been up every single week from the start.
UGH so gross that Gina went 'yes! Thank you public, finally.' She's all class, that girl. Never mind that the twins are sad. Never mind about anything except what Queen Gina wants.
Gina has got a black heart, seriously. I don't remember feeling this much rage towards a housemate in a long while.
Dexter to Charlie: 'Your eyes look so beautiful' and commenting on her dated Sharon-from-Eastenders style make up.
I'm glad the twins noticed Gina didn't say goodbye to Hazel and are actually saying it, albeit in the Diary Room. I haven't liked them since day 1 but it's to their credit they didn't drop Hazel when they realised she was about as popular as UKIP.
Funny how everyone's got something to say about Hazel now she's gone. Aren't Dexter and Sophie astute enough to see that Gina is digging her own grave? Seems like they both want to jump in it with her.
Gina talking about Hazel's career is a bit rich, Gina hasn't even got a job. She's a lazy parasite. Hazel has worked to get where she is.
'No guy will want to marry her, maybe some dickhead who's really desperate.' I saw this on the LF and it made me sick. Very glad they're showing it, as this bitching session went on for some time but that was the line that really stood out. She has NO self-awareness WHATSOEVER. Your future husband was on BOTS singing a song about how you love to 'ride it' Gina, so it's swings and roundabouts.
Twins, be careful what you say about Gina to Sam cos he's in her back pocket.
This self-congratulatory bit was on the live feed and got on my nerves then. 'Haven't we done well?' Dexter: 'I've broken the back of it.' That is so an expression my boyfriend would say.
I feel nauseous seeing Gina lording it in the DR now. Gina: 'I'm not stuck up.' No, you're just a nasty, bitter, jealous bully. I really hope she gets the shock of her life this week.

Big Brother 2013: Speaking on behalf of the public

Just voted to evict Charlie three times. It's worth a quid to try and wipe the smile off Gina's face. This bee task is pissing me off. Hazel to Gina: 'you put the b in bitch.' Ha.
Gina's never seen anyone stick her fingers up at her? Get used to it. Gina's even slagging off her minion Charlie. No one is safe!
Gina is being SO nasty to Hazel. I really don't like it. 'Peasants can't sit with me'? Really?
Did Emma just say Dexter's GIRLFRIEND is there!? She must be desperate, or in on the gameplan.
I can't even be bothered to comment on this boring task, they've even managed to make shitstirring boring.
I wish everyone would get off Hazel's back. It's making me feel sad inside.
This argument between Gina and Hazel was disgraceful. Gina was absolutely vicious. Calling another woman a dirty whore is vile and everyone all giggling about it is not much better. Something else that was horrible was Gina bringing the twins into it; they're Hazel's only friends in the house, plus it was hurtful to them, too.
I'm going to be really upset when Hazel goes tonight off the back off this bullshit. Gina was no better than a playground bully there. I don't get why she's still getting so much support on Twitter. What does she have to do for people to say 'enough'? I loved her, and I can't stand her now. Don't get me wrong, she's been great entertainment, but vote for her to win? I'd rather vote for the twins at this point (It actually hurt to write that).
UGH, Charlie's friend Sophie is there. 'Speaking on behalf of the public.' NO. At least some people were chanting at her. Hazel's friend should punch her. The crowd are a bunch of dickheads, and that's being polite.
Emma to Dexter's mum: 'Dexter's mum nominated the twins.' Dur. Sophie's boyfriend his kind of cute but seems thick as pigshit.
I do laugh when Gina calls Hazel 'the hobbit', though. Gina's never been called 'ugly' before. Try not calling people a 'dirty whore' then, it's quite ugly language and shows on your face.
Dexter: 'I'm receding so badly I need a hair transplant.' Ha.
Oh god, they're going to save three housemates. Please save Dexter first, not the idiot twins.
I love the fact Dexter has a pen in his hand. He's clicking it too.
UGH they saved Jack and Joe first! WHYYYYYYYY! WHY??? I swear it's Emma Willis doing it.
Yay, Dexter is safe again! Love Dexter's save face. What will his win face be like? I want Dexter to win again now, I really do. I hope he doesn't really fuck his game again this week. If Charlie goes, it will help his game.
Hazel patching things up with Charlie... hope it's not too late. I'm glad they showed that flashback of what Gina said. Hard evidence of Gina mixing! Gina's 'not bothered'. Not much. Why is she listening at the door then?! Gina is SPOILING for a fight! Who died and made her queen of the house (oh, Big Brother did).
Just felt my heart sink when Hazel got evicted. At least she gets her BOTS time and all that shit, Charlie will be out fifth and get fuck all.
Love Hazel still working it and posing despite the boos. You go girl! Professional! That smile she painted on was brilliant. Unflappable. She's hard as nails.
Oh God, now for the interview. Bet we don't get to hear a word. Please shut the eye, FFS. Oh, they did. Thank God. I'm so happy they did that, she doesn't deserve the lynching. They sound loud enough anyway.
I don't remember Daley being shown a clips package of him and Hazel? She lost the guy she liked and couldn't even talk about him for weeks afterwards, Have a heart, FFS.
Bet Emma tells her she's gone back to his GF. Notice they didn't show the ATTACK in that clips package. What a fucking joke.
Oh, how ironic that Hazel said 'it takes two to tango.' Hazel just said she thought he didn't have a girlfriend! I'm glad Hazel said Daley was the one with the girlfriend! God, where does Emma get off with the girlfriend thing?! Daley's girlfriend is Daley's responsibility! I'm glad Hazel said 'I got the blame cos I'm the girl.'
Hazel is coming across so articulate and ten times smarter than Emma. You can tell she's been waiting to get this off her chest. She even said she held her hands up! Is Emma going to mention the horrible thing Daley did?!
I can't believe they are showing the attack in the screen now! Gosh. Hazel looks beautiful tonight. Her eyes are SO blue.
Thought that was one of the best interviews ever, except the Daley subject went on too long, and (surprise) Gina's bullying of Hazel was not even mentioned. Emma threw her two or three crumbs, but the rest was just an onslaught. Sickening to see Gina lording it up now.
There's only one thing for it. Dexter FTW. Don't let me down.

Big Brother 2013: Where's the insect repellent?

I'm not really in the mood for BB tonight! I've just been watching BBUS and the bitch they've got on there makes Gina look like Rachel Rice. Predictably I like her, though. And she got voted for eviction ahead of a racist! That's pretty bad bitchery. Gold star for her on the bitchometer.
Meanwhile, back in our BB, we've got a bee task. Cue a zillion puns.
Dexter recognises 'Flight of the Bumblebee' when he hears it. You can't say that for many housemates.
How come Gina got nominated Queen Bee? Never good to wear a crown in Big Brother. You might get a bad case of power going to your head which can see you going out the door. Which is probably why they're doing it.
Twins: 'Gina's always getting secret tasks.' I can think of more tasks those idiots have got than her.
Hopefully Charlie being Gina's minion will count against her. I see they've remodelled the electric shock suit at last. Only took them about 8 years. The bee suits aren't as ridiculous, though. Although no expense has been spared on the goth socks.
WTF is this Zeo product placement? I've never seen that drink before.
Sophie's such a little grass! She so plays both sides. She always reports back. Snitch.
I wonder if they can squeeze a few more shots of Hazel's arse in?
I can't believe they are going to bully Hazel even MORE! Charlie: 'She's going to think it's a personal thing.' Do you think?
Sam's jokes were the lols! They showed some ruder ones on BOTS.
Gina: 'Tell them to work harder.' Charlie: 'Tell them to work harder.' God, this bitch is stupid.
Charlie: 'There's been too much bad language.' Hazel: 'Fuck off.' I like the way she doesn't beat around the bush.
I'm totally on Hazel's side! 'Worst task ever.' She's probably right. Except the wresting task. Gina is being a right bossy cow - obviously.
That toilet is disgusting.
Hazel didn't say 'fucking little bitches' under her breath, she said it quite loudly. Sophie, stop being a little snitch. I hate talk of 'true colours', it gets on my nerves.
Gina: 'I would have laughed it off.' Yeah. Sure you would, Gina. My boyfriend thinks they've set this task up deliberately to get rid of Charlie.
Charlie: 'She might not like being victimised.' No, you would have thought she'd be used to it.
I'm sick of hearing about how Charlie's a caring person and a good person. 'Aw, hope we didn't pick the wrong person.' Well you picked her, you sneaky cow. She is some passive aggressive arsehole.
Hazel is rummaging in her pants.
Gina took the video message from her boyfriend quick smart! Charlie's like 'hmm'. Who wants to hear from her arsehole friend Sophie anyway?
Why didn't she hide her stinger better? I hope Gina doesn't get her video as a result.
OMG Sophie is a right little grass! 'She aint even got her wings on either!' Shut up, YOUS is a little creep.
Gina is really getting on my nerves and her toady is even worse. Luckily Gina's not up, so let's stick it to Charlie instead. Argh, Gina is really getting on my wick. This could save Hazel this week. Who spells out the 'c.u.n.t'? Only a cunt would do that. Gina's never been so insulted in her entire life. What about when Charlie called you a prozzy? Keep talking Gina, your game is going up in smoke. And I think you're giving the producers exactly what they want.
Twin: 'can you eat toothpaste?' You probably could.
Gina seemed reticent when she was on the phone to her boyfriend. Why is her boyfriend allowed to say 'stay away from Hazel to her?' She was talking all over him! That was so awkward. He should have told her to reign in her rampant ego. It would have done her more of a favour.
Is Hazel cold in the DR? She seems kind of hunched. Probably because she's BEE-ing bullied. I'm so tired of Gina going on about Hazel, I really am. She's verging on bullying, she really is. I don't know how Hazel keeps her cool.
I've never seen such a houseful of sheep falling into line. Even Dexter toes the party line now.
Hazel has cracked me up this episode: 'I have a size 10 headache.' Hazel FTW! Dance, twinnies, dance.
Hazel: 'It feels like an earthquake.'
Dexter: 'I wish it was another 30 days.' My boyfriend: 'He must really hate his life.'
Shut up, Gina, who cares what your boyfriend thinks. Charlie picking up a crumb from Gina. Every bullshit thing that comes out of Gina's mouth is helping Hazel's game. Doesn't she realise?
And the lesson for today is: let's never put Gina in charge of the world. Beeeeeee good.

Big Brother 2013: Peace and tranquility

Who keeps ticking my 'blah' box? *shakes fist* Luckily I'm not Charlie and won't have an existential crisis over it.
Charlie is going to play the victim HARD. My boyfriend think she's going to go. He's nuts. Hazel will go. Hazel will be strung up.
Charlie: 'I never want to speak to Hazel again.' I wish she'd ended that sentence after the first five words. 'Hazel doesn't care about me.' I don't blame her!
Why is Dexter slagging Hazel for being tough? Being tough is a good thing.
Sophie (reluctantly): 'Are you alright, Charlie?' Sounds like she REALLY cares.
Twidiot thinks three million people are watching. Who's gonna tell him?
'Charlie is deep in conversation with Sam.' That's a deposition, not a conversation. I think Sam actually hates her for what she did to Callum. Sam is BIG TIME on his end game strategy here. Doesn't speak for two months, has a go at Dexter and then comforts Charlie? He's smarter than he looks.
Is it a Charlie special today? I'm sick of looking at her miserable face. She could wilt flowers!
Please stop showing the twins in the pool! How come women have to cover up their boobies and they're allowed to show theirs?
Hazel is scoffing at the mere idea of a best friend.
Sam is strategising hard! I swear he doesn't like Charlie. He's just woken up the the fact it doesn't look good that three others have ganged up on her. He's brave standing up to Gina on this. He might not know his alphabet but he knows his own mind. Gina looks like she's actually listening to him. I think she's twigging her game could be in jeopardy.
No one is talking to Hazel! Ooh twins realised Charlie is playing the victim. But will the public?
Are Charlie and Hazel still sleeping in the same bed together?
I thought the twins were one housemate! Why do they get split up for this task?
Commentary task! I love Dexter pointing at the picture of Hazel and vomming! It's hard to fake a conversation and listen at the same time! I think it's beyond some of these housemates. Plus, wouldn't they think the commentators could hear them? It's too confusing!
Hazel to Dexter: 'you look orange and evil.'
I hate Dexter and Charlie teaming up against Hazel. Why is Gina saying sorry to Charlie? What about your boyfriend and what the mums said? I don't get why Gina has turned against Hazel again. I know it's good for for Hazel's game, though.
This dancing is TOO MUCH. These twins are also making me feel sick in the pool.
I see they're all ganging up on Hazel tonight instead of Charlie; difference is they're doing it behind her back because they're all shit scared of her.
The twins: 'our mums only see an hour.' Hold up, I thought mums don't lie! Backtrack.
Why is Charlie being so forgiving of Gina and Sophie, who lets not forget, sold her down the river? How come all the hate is on Hazel? Hazel is a hate-sponge.
Kind of a boring episode tonight. Going to be even worse if Charlie doesn't get evicted.
We did a podcast today! Listen here if you have nothing better to do: http://www.spreaker.com/user/lightupvm/big_brother_uk_callumity_bbuk

Big Brother 2013: Blunt as a motherfucker

Good live feed last night! I was personally happy to see Charlie get her comeuppance, although Gina came off looking like a mean girl. In fact, the main person I could relate to was Hazel, who blew her top and who could blame her (well, a thousand Twitter misogynists, but apart from those lowlifes?) What sticks in my mind is the idiot twin going 'If my mum said it, it must be true' about ten zillion times. What a pathetic little kid. Gina also said 'mums never lie' and 'mums are always right.' What about if two mums have differing opinions? What THEN, Gina? Anyway, more of this later. Probably a LOT more.
I never knew Gina had a clip on fringe! Clinge. That hair looks a lot of effort. Good colour match, though.
Hazel's starting the day off on a good note: 'I wish everyone would get the fuck out of my face.' It's only going to be up from here!
Wow, they've cut out the whole day and we're going straight to 10.30pm a quarter of an hour in. They MUST have a lot of shit to show. Cool.
Ooh I want to see these noms again. Sophie on Hazel's mum: 'she don't look nothing like you.' Hazel's mum did Gina and Sophie.
Charlie's friend is a CUNT, and a rotten little witch.
Dexter giving Sam's mum the death stare through the screen. Sam's mum nominating Sophie for not speaking properly is prejudice against commoners.
I love Gina's boyfriend! He's the best. Charlie's face when he called her sly. Ha!
I'm glad almost all of them were up. Sam and Gina wouldn't have gone anyway. Sam couldn't hear again, I noticed.
Hazel's face after Charlie's friend nominated was a picture, she looked like she'd just smelt something disgusting; probably Charlie's friend's toxic vagina.
See how quickly Gina turned on Charlie. The imbecile twins so proud they don't like deep conversations - what a pair of dimwits.
Hazel: 'your friend is blunt as a motherfucker.' I loved the way she went so Irish when she got angry. Hazel has every right to be mad. Hazel: 'I can't wait to meet her...' ...and knock her out.
Gina must have lost her mind going off on Charlie. She should think of her end game!
Twins sticking it to Charlie as well. What a horrible pair. I would take a person based on how I knew them in the house. I would consider my friends and family's opinion but I make my OWN decisions about people.
Oh no, Charlie's journey has gone back to square one! Don't tell us what we should be thinking about your time in the house. I think you're an inane, babbling, attention-seeking freak, not some innocent girl going on a journey of discovery.
Disgusting the way the all turned on Charlie in a way - even though I do think she deserves a lot of it, I don't like the pack mentality. They're ALL in the wrong. There's no one to side with because I can't stand Charlie, and the others behave appallingly. I can only really understand Hazel, who's basically been called a slag on TV, and thinks her best friend is a liar, which is bound to make you twitch.
Charlie: 'I'm misunderstood.' No, I think you've finally BEEN understood. I hate her wishy washiness. I hate her yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahs. She DOES change her opinion depending on who she's talking to.
Ooh Dexter has gone from comforting Charlie to sticking it to her a little bit. 'Conflict management', lol.
That flashback about the Callum/ Dexter task wasn't really that incriminating. I don't like the flashbacks! Or do I? Maybe I do.
Hazel got objectified by wearing a snake suit! I think she might be getting her words in a muddle.
I said two or three days ago that I wondered why Charlie was bothered whether Hazel was opening up or showing emotion or didn't and they're finally twigging about it. But Gina and Hazel suddenly becoming buddies doesn't really wash. In fact, it doesn't wash in the slightest.
Charlie's thousand yard stare last night was quite something to behold. She was backpeddling badly. 'I don't want to be here' - fuck off then. Aw, she's doing a fake cry!
Hazel looks good in those green leggings. Not sure about her padded jacket, though.
Gina properly stitched Charlie up here. Gina, you're pissing your game up the wall! What are you thinking? Just keep your head down! Laughing whilst Charlie and Hazel are fighting is not doing her any favours, either. Sophie was also enjoying stirring the pot last night.
Charlie has gone from yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah to nononononono. Oh well, at least it's something different. I think Charlie is buying her clothes in 1995. 6th form times!
Twins 'if mum's said it, you've done it.' I would rip that little twerp's HEAD OFF if he said that to me. I'd be like, 'I know what I fucking said.' How DARE HE? And people think he's arrogant? WELL, I NEVER.
Charlie: 'I don't like the idea of people not liking me.' How tragic to live your life like that. I LOVE it when people don't like me! It's her desperation to please that's at the crux of her problems.
They're actually showing quite a lot of this. The other's faces watching this argument was quite sinister. No one defended Charlie, not even Dexter. I think they've all had enough of her.
Gina is 'quite scared'. No, Gina is enjoying this bad blood. I'm imagining Gina in the school yard, taking the piss out of me right now. The way she was cackling and lording it was really unpleasant. Such a shame.
Charlie's 'poor little me, I can't stand up for myself' thing doesn't stack up either. She CAN stand up for herself and does. She just prefers to go down the pity route.
This campaign thing really seems like the most boring part of this argument. Why aren't we talking about Charlie's insane friend more?
Dexter blaming Charlie for losing his girlfriend is RICH. He's entirely to blame for that situation. Totally out of order there. It was him who decided to throw his 'relationship' away for a bit of storyline.
Ooh, Charlie's sticking up for horrid friend now, saying she nominated Hazel for a reason related to her. No. Your friend is entirely selfish, like you.
I have to laugh at the twins: 'that woman took a rude pill.' Oh no, I laughed at them twice in that one Diary Room entry. Don't tell anyone.
I like Dexter's little military jumper. 'She mugged me off professionally and emotionally.' No. You mugged yourself off, kiddo. Charlie didn't make you dump your girlfriend. Charlie lurking when they had that convo.
Gina is going for it in the Diary Room! Have they only just twigged that Charlie was an arse for nominating Callum? Come on!
This isn't the end of Charlie and Hazel's friendship because there never was a friendship. Just an unholy alliance. I feel exhausted!

Big Brother 2013: Destination Letsby Avenue

Hiya! I'm round my BFF's house (I have friends! I know, well one) and we're voting to evict SOPHIE! We just voted at the same time to evict her. That's what friends are for. Synchronised evicting. Friends is having to not even ask who you're evicting.
Here's some comments from my friend: 'Charlie is insipid.' 'Callum is the shittest martyr ever.' Ha, then Dan said it, too! Weird. It's true, though, Callum IS like that.
Callum and Sam are having some 'lad chat.' Stand back ladies, banter ahead.
Callum is talking to himself: 'Charlie could have the whole world in her hands.'
Why are the twins on a task again!? Is this the bit we're meant to find 'hilarious'? Twin: 'this is a bit unfunny now.' You aint kidding. I asked my friend for a comment on the twins. She gave a five second sigh and then said: 'Dickheads.'
Emma is talking to the friends and family! Boooooo off off off etc.
We just had a brief interlude to look after a baby, but don't hold that against us. Babies need more attention than Big Brother. That's why I'M never having one.
Callum: 'I feel like I'm the third wheel.' More like the seventh. Charlie: 'Accept yourself.' For Heaven's sake.
Jack in a bikini. No.
Charlie in the Gina outfit. Callum's doing crab eyes. Cheesy! That was funny, mummy.
Charlie to Hazel: 'I genuinely believe you'll be a role model to a lot of girls.' My friend: 'Hazel had a good bullshit detector.' That must be why she doesn't like Callum.
Dexter can appreciate a good looking bloke. Ryan Gosling, for example. Callum's got 'straight friends, gay friends, bi friends.' Any black friends?!
Stop saying you hope Hazel goes, Dan. It's not helping matters.
Oh Callum, leave Charlie alone.
Get Hazel out! Booooooo! Oh, behave. Oh no, the twins are getting cheers.
Twist reveal: Dan, 'I knew it, I knew it.' HA. Sam doesn't even look like he knows what's going on, bless him. He can't hear! That's so unfair. Can't someone give him subtitles? They all seem quite reasonable about it, really. It was hardly the bombshell we'd hoped for and not worth losing Dan over
They didn't do the save halfway through like they normally do! That might have helped.
OH NO, it was Dan! Boooooooo. DISAPPOINTING. Not very surprising, though. Dan was always going to go against those two. I spent four quid on this bullshit! I HATE YOU, UK. YOU SUCK. 
Sophie and Sam will feel guilty because they picked him. I wanted Dan to come third. Sexyback? More like Cry Me a River. My friend says, 'He looks so pissed off. You can see it in every movement.'
I'm glad Emma sympathised with him. Ha, Dan is pissy.
Detective Dan: you'll be remembered and that's all that matters. No one will remember Charlie in three years time.
I just asked my friend for a comment on Dan going and she said: 'It's a shame.' It's lucky I'm writing this blog and not her. Her boyfriend just came in and I asked how he felt about Dan being evicted and he said 'that's a shame.' I said, 'She just said that.' and he said 'OK, a mild tragedy.'  
At least they weren't shouting OFF OFF OFF at Dan. He seemed to get a good reception.
Dan's best bits: 'You said your daughter died when she didn't die.'
It's CRIMINAL that the twins, Callum and Charlie outlasted Dan. I hope you're pleased with yourselves! Sorry this blog was brief, it's hard not to look like a twat blogging round someone's house. Podcast on Sunday as my boy is on shifts again! Night night x

Big Brother 2013: It's not gonna matter a shit to me once I get out

Another dragged out task. I was thinking watching some live feed earlier, that if Dexter had really left that time he was fake evicted he would have gone out a hero. Instead, he'll be going out as entertaining but insincere. The gold has definitely turned green for me, I'm afraid, which is a shame. And he's still my number two housemate, so that says it all, really. On the feed after Callum's strip tease, Dexter just kept going on and on about his streak and how that made them even, as if we're keeping count, and as if we're interested in the rivalry. Dexter: get a grip, kiddo. You're losing it.
Why are they doing this to Hazel? And I don't mean the thick, vindictive, sexist public, I mean Big Brother. She's a victim in that house, even if you don't like the word 'victim' for her; that's what she is, a victim of aggression. And they are tormenting her. And she is gritting her teeth and getting on with it. ARE they trying to make people feel sorry for her? That's the only reason I can think for it.
Gina is acting spoilt, but not humorously.. Oh God, I don't want to go off her as well.
I love the way Dan bitches to Dexter about Callum and to Callum about Dexter. I have to agree with Dan, though, Callum was going 'I can never be a teacher now' about stripping. Well, if you really wanted to be a teacher, you wouldn't have stripped. And besides, they let paedos be teachers now, so don't worry about it.
Dexter, stop calling Callum creepy. He IS creepy. But you were the house bitch three weeks ago, so don't you forget it.
Oh seriously, are they busting out the chillis again? The electric shock suits can't be far behind. Sophie is really enjoying seeing Dan suffer, lol. (Get her out, etc)
Dan and San both have good tans!
Did Charlie just say 'I can't freestyle' (rapping) which presumably means she thinks she can WRITE a rap? Oh, Lord! I think I'd rather see Jackie rap. Mind you, same difference.
Hold on, her rap wasn't actually that bad. Like, the rhymes, not the rapping. Wait, let me rephrase that. It wasn't as bad as I THOUGHT it would be. Callum is nodding along, gangsta style. He knows about the mean streets of Maidstone, yo.
Cruel showing Dan in the toilet! His little 'ooooh...' as well. Aw.
Dexter should have chosen Hazel for the date to perk her up. He looked thrilled at the prospect of kicking Callum out of the tree house. Oh god, that patronising pat on the back Charlie did to Callum! Ugh!
No, Dexter hasn't been told to say cheesy lines, he's just a cheeseball. Charlie: caught between a cringebag and a cheeseball. Lucky lady. 'A real man.' Oh, God.
All those things Dan is saying about Hazel 'she's driven, beautiful intelligent, savvy, ambitious' is why the public don't like her. Because she's a baddass. And she's quite ruthless with it. That's why. People can't cope with strong women, especially ones who don't respect the 'girl code.' All I'll say is, have you ever got off with someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah? Well, Hazel didn't even get that far, so who's the slut (male or female) now, hmmm? You homewrecker!
LOL, they're making housemates stand in the order we want them to win! This is a massive clue to public opinion. It will be a good reality check for some, though.
Did Gina just go into first place without so much as an argument?! I know they got a tennis ball with the odds on thrown in, but a bit of humility, please! Bad strategy.
Ha, it's funny watching them do this. Why have they put Dexter in sixth? HA the twins had to swap spots with Dexter (four places above them!) That's GOT TO hurt. This makes me want to vote Callum higher! Let's make Callum our new winner! Callum should try just thinking things and not saying them, for example 'so Dexter's third' and then looking upset.
I'm not sure I like that task on the whole; it's interesting for now, but too revealing.
Changed my mind about Callum already. It's not up to YOU to decide who the villains and heroes are, it's up to US! NB. Callum just said something and then said 'fact'. Fact.
HAHAHA, I just proper giggled at the twins pissing and moaning about being unpopular! Just goes to show how little mummy knows, isn't it! I hope it sinks into their thick heads (although it's doubtful) that their constant insulting of vastly more popular housemate Dexter isn't helping their case.
Haha, the twins hating on Gina for being popular! 'Mummy, we're not the favourites! I want to go home now!' There's 200 doors to choose from, get to fuck, fatty. They've got faces on them like they had for the first week, like someone just took the last sausage roll off them
Haha, Callum is pretty upset about being unpopular, too. Hazel looks better with less make up on. Daley was right! Come back, Daley! Innocent, poor, sweet Daley.
Oh, Gina, stop going in the Diary Room and doing party political broadcasts. It's like fucking Queen's speech, but slightly more insincere. What is this 'I'm a good person' bullshit? It's not the inside we're interested in, it's your quirkiness. Stop believing your own press.
Hazel, it's not Dexter's fault the public hate you, it's DALEY'S. Dexter doesn't have that much influence over the public, and Hazel KNOWS IT deep down. She's clutching at straws and then some. I did like it when she said 'It's not going to matter a shit to me once I get out' though. There's something hard about her that I find quite appealing. I'd quite like to be that emotionless; she's almost robotic. Most people would be dissolved into a heap if they were her right now.
Twins about Dexter: 'he's the one guy I don't want winning it.' TOUGH.
Gina and Dexter are upset cos the plebs are going on at them. Yeah, haters, cos we're in the top three!
Yes, Dexter has finally got one up on the misery twins. I have to give him props for that, cos they've treated him like a bunch of crap for weeks.
LOL to Gina laughing at twin X. Ha, him clicking at her! Gina looked disgusted by his very presence.
Now they're digging Dan out now for being unpopular. Mean!
Not sure they're gonna get Dexter's head through that door at this rate.
Why DID Sam come second in the viewers poll to win?! He never says a WORD! Seriously, is this what we want from a winner? A dopey kid? Sam feels invincible. And he's probably right.
Please: vote to evict Sophie. Thank you.

Big Brother 2013: Your Westlife farewell tour was the best

I'm an hour late as they've shifted the schedule to FINALLY air that programme with Nathan from Misfits and Stuart from Queer as Folk. That BETTER be a good show.
Oh it's the quiz show task today. I actually filled in that survey online like a loser.
Wave, you idiots, have you never seen the Price is Right? Dexter clearly has.
I didn't like the fact one question was just torturing Hazel. You didn't get to chose to torture any other housemates.
Is Hazel SERIOUSLY eating that pig's nose? Groo. I would tell them to go stick it up their arse. This is DISGUSTING. Morrissey is turning in his mansion. To be fair (!), I chose the pig's nose for that question. *innocent face*
Sam probably doesn't talk to you because he can't hear a word you're saying, Sophie. I can barely understand you. I hope they give her a duff edit tonight. Shouldn't be too difficult, just one look at her miserable face should do it.
What's Hazel's problem with Callum!? He didn't even say anything, he just said he liked thunderstorms!
The twins are performing because they're scared they're on the block. 'Are we being funny, mummy?' NO!
I hate riddles. I bet Callum and Dexter will be good at them. That's all they deal in.
Sophie actually got one right! Hold the front page.
Why is everyone sticking it to Hazel! I feel sorry for her. Imagine being stuck in there another week thinking the whole world hates you. I'd just leave. Perhaps that's what they're hoping for? Probably can't afford the security for her eviction.
Callum: 'That would be nice' about taking Dexter out of the game! Got off the fence at last!
Gina is right to be pissed off about what Dexter said, it WAS nasty and an example of Dexter at his worst. I think Gina likes Dexter, so that's quite hurtful.
Why is Sophie upset that people find her voice annoying when she nominated herself for that question in the first place!
Dexter needs to worm his way out of this situation fast. Wwwwwwwworm! Gina is going to milk this for all it's worth. Good on her. Gina is VERY DISAPPOINTED. 'Openly honest' - ha! Dexter is still lying cos I'm pretty sure he did say that to someone in the house if I remember right. He's twitching!
Jack and Joe like Westlife. LOL. How tragic. Even my mum doesn't like them anymore. DROP ME OUT indeed. Get your own catchphrase, fatty.
Gina shouldn't be allowed to put on a shower cap to be gunged! That negates the whole point of the gunging! I didn't vote for that. Aw she looks cute without her silly blonde hair. They didn't even gunge her properly!
Sophie the sweetest!? She's sour! I'd rather die than get gunged with tomato sauce (food aversion) but that didn't really even look like tomato sauce.
Hazel is looking really pissed off.
Callum: 'I'm quite direct, I don't bullshit.' Ha, Dexter getting covered in 'shit'. Tee hee!
The twins think they have 'fans'! Ha, they think that dude from Westlife is watching! WE had to choose which twin was most evil, not that guy.
Ooh, Dan didn't enjoy being a policeman. Interesting. I want to know more about his career, why do they never show it?
Dexter: 'ssssssssssnake!' No it was only Sssssssssssallie who thought that. I feel sorry for Hazel but it was quite funny when Gina laughed at her.
At least BB made Callum strip and it wasn't his idea. I love Gina going 'where are my glasses?' so she can get a better look! She's a legend.
It's lucky Jackie's gone! Seriously, who would pay to see Callum's manky body? He's deffo sucking it in! Arre they Callum's own pants?!
All the others: 'Hazel's ready to go.' Probably because her name and reputation is being dragged through the fucking mud! Who can blame her?! She's not exactly being made to feel welcome. BB has got a LOT to answer for. I didn't know witch dunking was still in fashion! And then they want to keep her in there another week? Ejits.

Big Brother 2013: Save our bacon!

I'm still upset about Dan's impending eviction, and I never thought you'd hear me say that. Sophie and Sam do not deserve to be in the final over him. Please vote Sophie out, it's the only slim chance Dan can survive.
Callum, put the piece of scrap metal down and stop talking bollocks.
Sophie's got 'interupt-itis.'
This argument about Gina being 'ugly' is more tedious than the love triangle. Hazel's got her wooden spoon out.
Ha, Gina to Dexter: 'Charlie's given you false hope.' Stick the knife in! Dexter: 'I'm the only loser.' That's your fault, Dexter, no one else's! Gina doesn't get why Dexter fancies Charlie. Me neither. 'There's nothing there.' Indeed.
Making Callum a shrink is genius. He's perfect for it! Mind you, he'd be a perfect nodding dog, too. 'I've heard you have a problem - I'm all ears.'
I'm actually on the twins side about the love triangle. Callum's notes! He's getting DEEP. Aw, Callum is so cheesy but there's something endearing about him, still.
Callum and Dexter's therapy session was FUNNY. Callum should have written 'twat' on his piece of paper.
Dexter: 'we both want to carve each other's faces off.' Callum (deadpan): 'Extreme feelings.'
Ha, Dexter mentioned his JOURNEY again, check! He's worse than Dermot O' Leary. Even Charlie was doing it yesterday. I'll be voting Gina to win just because Dexter is storylining too hard.
Callum, you shouldn't tell your patients how to sit on the couch, how they sit on it tells you things about them. Aw, Sam can't always hear what's going on. Believe me, sometimes it's a blessing. Callum having a cry about Sam. Hilare.
LOL Callum thinks he's REALLY a therapist now. Nothing that comes out of his mouth makes sense. It must be like being stuck in the house with two giant fortune cookies.
I think Dexter is 'negging' Charlie! And it's working.
I hate Sam and Sophie for choosing Dan! Sophie was moaning about him being bossy the other day! Why couldn't she have stayed mad? The Dan compromise will see the end of his game.
NO ONE likes each other in the safe house! It's awkward.
It hurts my heart to hear them say 'Dan's in the semi-final' when he isn't.
Dan: 'What would you do if the electricity went?' Sam: 'have a wank'. Ha! Great comedy timing.
I thought the twins were happy for Dan to go in. They wouldn't have compromised?! Well, Sam has a say, too! Entitled little gimps. I'm so upset they're not leaving this week.
Oh God, Dan don't say you'd like to know what the public think! You might know only too soon.
Bad feelings about that episode. Bad storylines, and bad what they're doing to Dan. This series is hitting the skids. Sad face.

Big Brother 2013: Jedward are very, very clever

Being deaf is a good excuse for lying in, and also Sam said he couldn't hear people snoring, so it's not all bad being disabled, is it?
I wish we could evict dreary Charlie and her eyebags this week.
Sam and Sophie get to see Diary Room entries! Ooh. Will they be able to think of a decent question between them, though?
Marcus missed a trick - he should have said: 'Dexter is angrily turning the wheel for Callum's shower.' He is giving Callum proper stink eye!
I keep forgetting Hazel is in there until I see her in the Diary Room. Hazel: self-proclaimed floater! Grab a life-vest, etc. Hazel: 'I'm a wind-up merchant.' Er...
Sophie is right: Dan isn't safe if he goes up. Especially against these two.
Sophie's cogs aren't quite turning on full speed, are they? Why would Callum have to choose between Charlie and Sam? It's a stupid question.
Also, why have Sophie and Sam co-ordinated their outfits today? Dastardly. Argh, I'm really worried they're going to choose Dan as a compromise! I want them to choose the twins!
Hazel's boobs almost fell foul of the limbo!
Even the twins know this chat is a fix, so it doesn't take Detective Dan to work this one out.
I'm sick of hearing these housemates talking about cameras, their entrances, celebrity, boos, auditions and so on. Why can't they just be in the game without going on about the game.
Two classic Dexter lines in one go: Dexter on Jedward: 'Very, very clever.' Dexter, 'If I was a woman, I'd be a billionaire right now.'
Those twins are so sour every time Dexter speaks. Money means nothing when you work in Sainsburys because you haven't got any. Dexter can't sell his soul because he hasn't got one. Twins are upset because Jedward are more popular by them. I'm not even going to comment on 'Who's Ghandi?' it's so contrived.
Callum blatantly knows these questions are a fix! Mind games. These clips are just one giant arse-kiss.
Don't pick Dan! Dan deserves to go all the way. I've screamed at him, he's driven me mad, but he's been a grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat housemate.
How did Gina even know about Sam and Charlie's chat in the treehouse?! Gina is pretending she's offended about something again!
Sam thinks Gina's personality is class, haha. There's only a year's age difference between Sam and Gina, it's unbelievable! I think Sam is intrigued by Gina.
Callum would be good if you were in a club, wouldn't he, head massages on tap, plus lots of positive affirmation.
LOL to Dexter overhearing that whole conversation! Speak of the devil indeed.
Oh God, live to house. They're gonna pick Dan, aren't they?
OMG Rylan looks like a stick of liquorice! Look how skinny his legs are. He makes Russell Brand look obese.
Oh shit, they've chosen Dan! Oh, no. Dan doesn't deserve to go out like this. LOADS of people have been waiting for their chance to evict Dan. SHIT! Let's vote to evict Sophie instead! She offers nothing.
My boyfriend seems sure Sophie will go! I'm not so sure. Bugger. I wish it was the twins, or even Callum.
What it came down to is that Sam didn't want to live with the twins and Sophie didn't want to live with Callum. Now we have to join forces and evict the deadwood! Get Sophie out!

Big Brother 2013: He's quite tragic, isn't he, really?

Dear Lord, please save us from the love triangle. It is killing the show. I feel like evicting Dexter after watching an hours live feed of him and Callum wittering on in cliches and riddles. I can't bear it!
I'm tired of Dexter, tired of Charlie going 'yeah, yeah, yeah.' What did Charlie even say last night? I watched two hours of live feed and I still don't know. I almost want Sam and Sophie to take Callum to the safe house, just so we can evict him and end this storyline. And that's not really fair on Callum, but I'm getting really fed up. It's been a fantastic series, and the past few days have been just tedious. This is not how I want to remember this year. If I had any idea what anyone was talking about, it would help. They're all just spouting so much drivel I don't think they even know what they're talking about themselves.
I don't like Dan and Callum getting on! It makes me nervous.
Ugh, all the house slagging off Dexter again - even Charlie! She really is the wooden spoon in that house. This house is just full of arseholes now; twins, Hazel, even Gina is a bitch, and she's the best one in there.
Hazel's looked nice the past couple of days. I wonder how she's feeling inside? I wonder if she gets any support in the Diary Room?
This task is like 'share or shaft.' Or Luke and Conor's 'one Mississippi' car crash moment.
So glad Dexter didn't chose Charlie for the picnic. I just can't bear to listen to anymore bullshit. Plus it was a curveball. Why was Callum so annoyed that Dexter picked Dan? Surely he'd be pleased!
Secrets and lies! Zzzz.
Callum: Charlie DOESN'T FANCY YOU. Get over it! ARGH!
Oh God, Dexter said he's on a journey again. My boyfriend is going to go mad.
Just what the twins don't need - a table full of trans fats. That probably is the sort of party they enjoy; sausage rolls and party rings and singing Abba. On their own.
Dan on Dexter: 'He's quite tragic, really.' Aw, that's mean!
Twins slagging off Dexter as usual. Callum trying to put Charlie off seeing Dexter in the outside world. Even the other housemates are getting pissed off with this bullshit. 'It's boring' is right! Dan is freaking out because there's airtime available he's not getting.
Oh one twin just said he fancied David Beckham. This must be the gay one! So the gay one is the one with the shaved bit in the hair. I've finally sussed it! Now, just his name to work out, ha.
There's more chemistry with Dan and Dexter than Dexter and Charlie. I wonder how long Dexter's longest relationship is? Dexter: 'I like snuggles at the weekend but also someone who can turn heads in a restaurant.' God, he's got such a Hollywood view of relationships; it has no basis in reality AT ALL! Not sure Charlie would turn heads in a restaurant; stomachs, maybe.
Ha, Hazel on Dexter: 'Definitely half.' ie. bi, haha. Dexter: 'I always like to please my partner before I please myself.' Is this during his 45 minute shag playlist I saw him discuss on live feed once?
Dan: 'what does your climax face look like?' PLEASE! There are some things we don't need to know.
Oh, so the twins can't go to the party because they had their DR party, haha. Unlucky.
Gina: 'there's no cloth on the table.' Ha, Ferrero Rocher tantrum.  Ferrero Rocher is gross. Gina is actressing right here.
OMG Callum's dancing! Amaze.
The others: 'they're not having fun.' If you say so! Actually, Dan and Sophie do look pissed off. But they are playing Amy Winehouse.
I don't know what pisses me off more about Callum: his naff tattoos, his nipple piercing, his personality or his clothes.
Dan and Sophie calling Callum 'creepy' and 'a cringe bag.' Ooh, looks like Sophie won't be inviting Callum to the safe house, then! Good. Get the twins in there, and ship their arses out.

Big Brother 2013: You never had a bottle of Mow-it?

My boyfriend is going on and on about the love triangle in the house, and how it's all storylining and he's fed up with it; I wish he'd been this chatty in our podcast! He also doesn't like Dexter anymore. I said, 'who do you want to win?' and he said 'Callum' so he seems pretty jaded.
I do hope the non-love triangle doesn't become the main storyline.
Jackie crying about her hair! I don't care about Jackie any more, she's old news.
Charlie would get off with Dexter, I don't care what she says.
Oh no, Sam likes Callum the best. Callum will go if he goes up against Sam and Sophie next week. I hope Sophie pushes him into taking the twins in there.
Jackie vs Charlie. Who cares?
The 'are we being funny, mummy?' twins are having a contrived argument. About food.
A task about the love triangle - zzz. Dexter, pink leggings are not for you.
JACKIE IS NOT GOING TO BE YOUR MOTHER IN LAW, DEXTER.
Gina on the dance task: 'I don't think anyone was even embarrassed.' Ah, Gina. You're my new winner. I'm sure she must be racing ahead of Dexter in the odds now.
Gina: 'I'm enjoying myself, but I'm not going to miss anyone.' I like her transient ways!
Dexter is talking such a lot of old flannel. He's no good when he's not an underdog. Don't get me wrong, Dexter's in my top two, still, but he really needs to pull it back round again. I hope he can.
Did Jackie get both sides of her hair done in the end? Twins: 'we got boos.' Not enough!
For the twist, Big Brother actually said 'these two housemates will be immune from next week's eviction.' Why would you put in the two 'safest' housemates? Who's Charlie to tell us who's going to win? Why did Charlie get to make this decision on who was going into the safe house?
Have you ever seen two people look so sad upon giving immunity?
Sophie: 'You never had a bottle of Mow-it?' Aw, bless, Sam's never had champagne before. I don't like putting fruit in my champagne! Sophie: 'it tastes like vinegar.' I'll have it! It's probably the Lidl one.
Sam and Sophie are total floaters. I'd like to see the back of one of them, but preferably Sophie, and I don't think we've seen the best of him yet *BB cliche factory*.
Callum's got a nice t-shirt on tonight: 'Fate is your own.' Tasteful.
Dexter is fronting out Callum! He's doing some game planning tonight. Dexter: 'The only reason we despise each other...' That's no way to make friends and influence people. I don't really know what Dexter's trying to say here.
Why is Charlie having a go at Dexter?! Why is it OK as long as he's not making up with Callum? I don't get it.
I'm fed up with Callum and Dexter going on and on about the same thing.
Hazel is playfighting with Charlie! Is it her fault if Charlie threatens her?
Callum's face when Charlie and Dexter were mucking about in the shower! He looks angry! He should just go inside and get a grip. It's over.
Sam, if you don't know your alphabet, try not singing an alphabet song. My boyfriend is worried Sam is going to be 'taken over by the 'domestic violence ghost' in the safe house.
I don't get what Charlie is getting at here. Why doesn't she want Dexter and Callum getting on? What would be so awful about it?
DI Dan has stepped in! Everyone go to sleep before he gets the taser out. Charlie, don't apologise for something you haven't done.
Ha, that was funny when Dan caught Hazel and Charlie out whispering, too.
Why is Dan sticking up for Callum? Doesn't he hate Callum?! This has been edited pretty poorly because I have no idea who's right, who's wrong, or what's going on. Mind you, what's new?