Monday, 31 August 2009

Big Brother 10: No one tells me what to do... except Big Brother

Well the BB editors obviously thought last night's show was useless as well, so they lit the dynamite tonight in the form of the 'nomination game'! LOL. Let the bitching commence.
Haha, Sophie nominated Charlie for being 'false' in the first week! She was right! The look of joy on Rodrigo's face! Check out Charlie's fixed smile. You will pay for that, Sophie!
Lisa's face when Rodrigo nommed her! Rodrigo took Charlie's one better. Don't. fuck. with. the. matriarch. Everyone has to nominate! Fuck you, Lisa. The truth hurts. Perhaps instead of spouting off like the nasty old bit of scrag you are, you should have LISTENED to WHY he nominated you. Ever thought about that? Yet it's fair game to nominate Siavash, Marcus and Freddie week after week.
That was funny when Sophie nominated David and he did his fake laugh. Dealt with! She's got your number.
Urgh it sickens me them all kowtowing to Lisa. 'You're young, you'll see as you grow up.' What will they see? You're just a poisonous old bag who has provided no entertainment whatsoever this summer, and systematically got everyone entertaining or kind evicted from that house. So fuck you, Lisa. I'm 29; and from the bottom of my heart I say, FUCK YOU.
How many times did Lisa nominate Siavash? She says once but where's the proof? He's not 'crafty'. He does play up to it sometimes, but at heart he's alright, you know. Her heart is just as black and rotten as her lungs. I wish Siavash would give it back to her.
Urgh and then when Lisa called Sophie Siavash's little pet just because she never got the memo to VOTE SIAVASH OUT. There's an example of your intimidation tactics, Lisa.
YAY Siavash GAVE IT BACK. Good. Eat that, Lisa. I vote Siavash to win just for that comment. At least Siavash is brave enough to throw himself to the lions, even after what he did with Noirin, he dared put his fate in the public's hand. Lisa has just hidden her way through the series- hidden behind her sacrificial lambs.
Even Sophie's twigged it! Sophie has sussed Lisa! If Sophie's sussed her, then the game is well and truly up.
Has David got dungarees on?! Look at Charlie's inane grin as he gets called to the diary room to perform! Ha, not grinning now, are you? LOL! Go on, squeeze a Bea-tear out. At least he didn't nominate after that charade. Oh but he did want some praise for his sacrifice afterwards.
Lisa and David are keen to nominate! It is totally fair if they all go up in the final week. Lisa and David are making themselves look like pricks. Don't they see that?
Haha, David nominating! No one tells me what to do... except Big Brother. Idiot box. OMG he nominated Sophie! Bad David. I like Sophie. But all this 'Sophie to win' thing is ridiculous. She's a nice girl, but doesn't deserve it. She's had it pretty easy in there.
David: 'I don't talk shit'- if you say so.
Charlie is giving it the saint act; but Siavash called Charlie out on nominating Marcus too! Siavash is on fire tonight. Fuck off Lisa, you dickhead. Siavash did nothing to Marcus; Noirin was NOT Marcus's property!!!
David you ARE scared of being evicted, you little fucking worm! Stop trying to get other people to have as slack morals as you.
I don't find Rodrigo particularly childish, but I do find Lisa to be a complete CUNT!
Shit, Rodrigo did nominate, but he nominated Lisa, hahaha.
YOU'RE the one showing your true colours, Lisa, you fucking mingebag. Well done, you've overtaken Charlie as my figure of hate. Stop trying to run the house! You lose.
The way Siavash said 'no hard feelings'; he has more class in his little finger than Lisa could ever dream of. Yay, then Rodrigo came out and said he put Lisa and David up; LOL! Let the public decide.
Don't pick Rodrigo up on his English, Lisa, how much Portugese do you speak whilst watching Jeremy Kyle in your one bed council flat? Rodrigo has not got a lot to learn; you do, but you won't.
Loved Siavash's reasons why he wasnt nominating, but that he could. Just very, very classy behaviour from Siavash tonight.
I'm glad David and Lisa have alienated themselves from the house. They are total morons. LOVED the others taking the mickey. Very funny. At least Charlie had the balls to admit what they were saying when David asked.
I have a feeling this walk out isn't going to work! Bless them for trying, though.
At least Sophie and Siavash were up for it, Charlie and Rodrigo were dilly-dallying. Just out-bluff BB! The show would be dead without you. You really needed Marcus on hand for the revolution.
Charlie waking Lisa and David up was still idiotic, but in the context of the show, I feel less malice towards him than when I saw it last night on the live feed.
Final week, well it's gotta be Rodrigo or Siavash to win, now. Rodrigo has probably got enough votes just on his baby face alone. For Freddie, for Marcus, for their scalps, in memorium, vote Siavash to win. He's our last man standing. Our last fuck you to Lisa. Come on. You know it makes sense.

Sunday, 30 August 2009

Big Brother 10: The blog with no name

Last night's highlights were SO boring. When you have extended scenes of David and Lisa eulogising themselves, you know you're in deep shit highlights-wise. And Lisa lamenting the loss of Marcus! Well, I never.
Lisa's bored! Send her home. Stop saying you're missing Marcus, Charlie, you voted him out, you duplicitous cuntrag!
Ooh Lisa's got a reason to nominate Rodrigo now. Tempers definitely seem a bit frayed at the moment. That money is in sight, even if it's depleted.
The task thing was funny for about five minutes, then got a bit boring. Which reminds me, when are they going to give Siavash his clothes back? I wish he'd draw his other eyebrow on too. The lack of symmetry is annoying.
Urgh David and his laugh! Ban both. Even Lisa looks tired.
Marvel at them order a Chinese! The excitement is just too much. Ah, it's delivered and they start moaning immediately.
God, Lisa going on about her bagging of straight girls. David is right; places are not gay friendly; if two blokes start snogging in a straight club, it's not that friendly I'd imagine.
What IS it with that extra 5 minutes at the end of BB? I have to sit through a whole ad break for that? Normally I don't have to sit through ad breaks but I've lost my remote control. It's not my day.
Roll on Friday; this series is dead. But I STILL hate all the gleeful articles gloating over the end of Big Brother; you don't see me calling for an end to Songs of Praise or Countdown for being a tired formula. So why don't you just let us enjoy our own programmes, motherfuckers?

Friday, 28 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Cram it up your scabby fat arse

Hair wars! Do you think a £7 hair extension can save Sophie's barnet? Marcus just doesn't want her to have glorious locks like him.
How can you tell the difference between Siavash's own clothes and the comedy clothes BB puts him in? It was a bit cruel of him to wind them all up, he likes his riddles.
So far Siavash is coming out on top in these highlights. It sucks either way; I don't want either Marcus or Siavash to go. Ooh Marcus called him out on it! I think Marcus is being a little unfair.
Charlie: 'MY money is going to care for me mam.' It's not YOUR fucking money, Charlie.
I'm fucking sick of them having a go at Siavash. David says he'd take 50K but they're having a go at Siavash for wanting to give money to charity. Donkeys.
Siavash carried off his outfit with a certain degree of panache. David's laughing at him was absolutely pathetic *say in David style*. Imagine David in that outfit! I hate David right now. Marcus is being a right grumpy bastard as well. He's shooting himself in his dark horseshoe right now. It was obvious he wouldn't cut off his hair though.
Rodrigo's face during the truth or dare when Charlie said who he'd sleep with! Bloody hell. He was fuming!
Wow, can't believe Marcus went. He was the victim of a bad edit tonight, but he has become a pastiche of himself this last week. Aw his cheeky little face when leaving! Can't believe we lost Marcus and Freddie in two weeks. Shocking. This should give Siavash some strength now. That house is dead on it's feet.
Marcus getting it in the neck from Andi Peti! Grace told it like it was- Marcus is one of the greats. Funny as fuck.
I don't find Marcus that sexist. He's just a comedy characature. Glad Grace brought Noirin up though.
Marcus saying he wanked 7 and a bit times, hehe. Glad Davina pulled him up about Siavash and Noirin. Knew he wouldn't hold his hands up, though.
Marcus's best bits went on forever. 'Well I think you're a fucking pathetic fat whinging cunt!' Just pure, pure classic TV.
The dark horse just gor repressed. And looking at the remaining bunch, we are all the poorer for it.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

TV: What Katie Did Next

How did Peter and Jordan split their camera crews? Do you think there's some sort of custody agreement? It's funny that in the midst of their very REAL grief at the end of their marriage they both thought to get the whole damn thing on film, isn't it? Well, not so much funny as sick.
So I watched Peter 'dignified silence' Andre's Going it Alone the other week and it was really, really boring. Brave (t.m.) Pete cries! Look how deep his lyrics are! Look at him allude to some secret horror that ended the marriage! Yeah, whatever. He left her. And he's just as big a cash cow as she is. Both of them would sell their grannies for an OK cover. At least she's not pretending otherwise.
That's not to say I'm defending that frozen-faced harridan; I can't fucking stand her. I never understood all this 'oh she's such a good businesswoman' shit; she's just a bit ruthless and got lucky.
So anyway, onto tonight's PR stunt (I mean, show). Oh Jordan is equally boring when she's not got a husband to emasculate. She's her usual cold, monotone self.
Her going to meet her 'publishers' just makes me sick, frankly. If she's a writer, I'm a mountaineer. Oh, she just went to look at pictures of herself. Hand her the cheque, she's worked hard.
Ooh she made the bookings herself to go on holiday! Well done. And she's flying out with no security! Bold. She aint exactly Madonna, is she?
The holiday itself was mind-numbing in the extreme. Jordan posing, Jordan and her hangers on talking shit. Jordan looking through the tabloids at pictures of herself. Zzzzz.
Then she had her Pete tattoo crossed out. Tasteful. I don't really get that because you can still read it; and her kids might think it's a bit odd. She seemed quite steely doing that.
Then she was acting outraged that the paparazzi asked her to go topless! Tsk, she'd never do that, how dare they. Didn't like her friend telling her what to wear out though. If she wants to look like a creasoted stick insect smuggling two beach balls into a scrap of PVC let her get on with it, I say.God, her veneers look bloody enormous and her black hair is too harsh. I get it, she likes horses, but no need to model herself on one.
Actually, this show was more interminable than Peter's one. Fair enough he laid on the 'doting dad' thing a bit thick, but she laid on the caring mother thing a bit TOO thin.
Bring on the BDSMing cage-fighter, I say.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Can you see the Millennium Eye?

Anarchy in Borehamwood!
Quite ironic really on the day that it is announced that Big Brother is axed, they set David and Lisa a highly un-Big Brother-like task of going outside, and the rest of the housemates storm the camera run. The whole thing feels like it's falling apart in front of our (very) eyes.
I appreciate the fact that sending Lisa and David out of the house is a cool idea; but it's so very at odds with the idea of what Big Brother is about, that it just seems absurd. To my mind, part of winning, is being holed up in that house for three months, THEN coming out to the baying crowd. If you've already been out mingling with the crowd a week beforehand, it rather takes the shine off. And to that end, I'm glad Marcus didn't get to go. It's not like Lisa and David are gonna win the fucker, is it?
Can we send Charlie into space (sans oxygen?) David and Lisa looked more like fruit than aliens. Hmm, good luck with that task, Sophie and Rodrigo.
I enjoyed Marcus cawing to the birds in the garden because it's the kind of infantile thing I do.
I liked Lisa and David's excitement at the task though, it must be such a buzz to get out of the house like that. The producers were probably glad Marcus didn't get that task or he'd probably have just ditched the costume and run off. Now that would have been funny. Lucky for BB they got 'rules is rules' cretins David and Lisa.
It was nice to see them on the bus, though. I knew that bus would come if Lisa waited there long enough! It was like they were on day release from the loony bin.
Aw it was cute when they held hands. Lisa hammering it home that David better not fuck up the task!
Haha omg that was funny when David was on the phone and Lisa thought he was talking to her. They are such a stupid pair. Do you think they're going to be smart enough to try and take a sneaky peek at Heat, or check their odds down the bookies?
Siavash can't beat Marcus can he? I admire him for plouging his own bizarre furrow in some respects. It's better than towing the line.
HAHAHA to Lisa and David trying to get their pcitures taken by the harsh London crowd. Bless 'em.
It was good when Marcus went in the pool. Now you are awake!
I LOVED the unbridled joy of them all running round the camera runs, and that even Rodrigo did it. It was ace! Ooh Siavash got manhandled. LOL Sophie, Rodrigo and Charlie got lost! Ha, Marcus is such a naughty boy. I love him. Marcous! It all went a bit Dead Set and counter-culture, I liked it a lot. I think they trumped Lisa and David!
'London town centre'! LOL. Up west, dude. OMG David's chirruping laugh of glee. Hehe Charlie trying to one up them with his story! His FACE! He was seething. Perhaps should have waited a few minutes for that one. Snigger.
How long before Lisa's moaning about the loss of the prize fund? Rules IS rules, after all!

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Big Brother 10: They own us

Sophie doing this Jade schtick is boring, BB is literally revelling in her thickness. Let's dress her up in school uniform and make fun of the thick blonde! Misogyny central. I'm not sure I'd know where all of those places are to be honest, but I think I could do half of them, hehe. Even the thickest cunt must know what the UK looks like though, especially when you live in it. Sophie seems drunk constantly now. I think she's lost the plot.
Siavash, just nominate you fucking plank! He's really getting on my nerves. Why is Marcus backtracking now as well? The dark horse is running scared!
Oh wind your neck in Charlie, you're the only tool in that house. He sees Siavash and Marcus as threats! Simple as that. See how fast he came up with extra reasons for Marcus when he was under pressure! Idiot box.
Bye bye Siavash then. You threw yourself under the bus, and to be honest I'm not that bothered anymore. You almost had it all, but you threw it away. Shoulda put David up.
A bad, bad end to things, basically all the good guys got picked off in the end, and actually the catalyst for that was Bea. Lisa was almost overthrown, but Bea fucked it up.
I'm glad Rodrigo pulled Siavash up on his martyrdom. Siavash really is a rebel without a cause. Hmm, wonder why Charlie is so upset? How ironic he's calling someone Mr Perfect, he's been trademarking that image for two months now. Listening to all these yapping off it's a crying shame we are losing Siavash over David/ Lisa/ Charlie.
Siavash does have freedom of choice! BB can kick him out if they don't like it Sophie was the only person defending him.
The way Charlie pulled Siavash's girlfriend out the bag! HARSH! It's none of his fucking business. GOD I HATE HIM! The injustice of this situation is just not right! The only person who showed his 'true colours' tonight was Charlie.
I believe Siavash doesn't want to be in the final if the public don't want him there. Charlie/ Lisa/ David don't care either way. Glad he told Charlie and Rodrigo so.
David says straightfaced: 'they say jump, I say how high?' So he'd be the first gassing the Jews, just remember that folks, when you're picking your winner.
How did Siavash 'cheat' on Marcus? Was Marcus going out with Noirin? NO.
See Charlie spluttering when Siavash said 'why didn't you vote so we all went up?' OMG and then he just goes and dances to his song! ARGH!
I'm glad it's nearly over. Marcus or Rodrigo to win. Chuck Charlie out via the side door mid next week. Cheers.

Monday, 24 August 2009

Big Brother 10: If it was fucking acid, fair enough

I'm sick and itchy and in pain but I'm also bored out of my brain so I'll try squeeze a mini-blog out. I liked the wrestling yesterday, it was fun. The episode the day before was SO boring. On the eviction; Davina stuck it to Bea GOOD! I was shocked at how harsh she was, but totally deserved.
Now am I being paranoid or are they showing an awful lot of Charlie lately? Oh, he's such a cheeky chappie! Look at him deny his feelings for Rodrigo and declare himself 'a lovely guy'. So why do I hate him SO much? The way he reacted over the magazines thing was telling in itself, one bit of criticism and he went ballistic. I just fing him utterly vacuous and transparent. If he wins, I'll shut up shop, I swear. HE CANNOT WIN!
And I still don't understand what Sophie was so upset about with Kris? It all seemed very cynical and to do with agents and it just didn't smell right. Yuck.
Aw Rodrigo, don't fall for him, you're too good for that odius showy little prink. There'll be tears before bedtime either way.
Sophie is a bit idiotic for moaning that Marcus was upset she stole from him. Sophie is coming off like a bit of an idiot at the moment. I can't believe she's the favourite to win. I like her and Rodrigo together, but she's just a total airhead really.
David has had hundreds of one night stands! With whom?! This story stacks up about as well as Freddie and his four lovers.
It annoys me now that ALL their conversations are about the end of the show/ wrapping up etc. It's boring! Too much dead wood in that house. That's the problem.
I did have a wry smile at David/ Siavash during the toothbrush task but that was about it.
Siavash seems very interested in other people's sexuality, doesn't he? I wonder why..?
Lisa rubbed it in a bit with Sophie when they lost the task considering she's meant to be her friend.
Sophie hit the nail on the head with the nominations thing; Charlie, Rodrigo, David and Lisa are running scared. Siavash isn't scared actually; I think he doesn't want a free pass to the final. He wants to feel he's earned it, whereas Lisa and Charlie feel entitled.
It's all very well Siavash looking down his nose at Sophie for not knowing this and that but he didn't actually answer the question of where Sweden was, did he? Does Sophie give women/ blondes a bad name? No, she just gives the education system one.
Despite my complaints about Sophie, I like the fact she has so little regard for her image that she just waxes her eyebrows off for a laugh. That's my kind of girl.
So in conclusion, mixed feelings about everything. I blame the codeine and tramadol cocktail.

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Your blogger is temporarily out of order

Sorry for the lack of updates (especially the eviction, honestly!) I've been really ill with complications from my tonsilectomy. Don't EVER have your tonisils out unless you're five years old or a serious masochist, as it's been a living, burning, bleeding, puking hell.
I hope to be back blogging in the next couple of days... cheers. Miss you, LUVM x

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Big Brother 10: You killed Marcus!

Don't let the title fool you that this blog is gonna be a good 'un, it aint.
'If you count the skeletons in my closet... under the bed, and up under my faucet...' What is Eminem on about? Anyway!
Heartwarming start to the show; a gravestone with Bea's name on. 'Why has mine got a crow on?' Because you never stop squawking? Oh God, Bea 'I want/ I want'. Had Bea got her costume on yet..? Oh.
Rodrigo and Sophie looked cute as vampires. I want Rodrigo to start going; 'One... ha ha ha ha. Two... ha ha ha ha.'
Bea didn't suffer enough for my liking! Let's really operate on her.
David came across like a dick having a go at Bea for nominating him (although she did lie). He's a right touchy git! Am I bovvered? If I was Bea I'd walk; that'd teach him. I'm surprised she didn't take it worse. God, shut up David. You're an idiot. Stop bellowing.
Well that apology went well, didn't it. If I was Bea I wouldn't even justify it. I'd just say 'I nominated you- tough'. I can't believe she's even letting him go on like that with the way she normally behaves. He is totally over-reacting.
Ooh Lisa gave it to Bea! Looks like you shouldn't have thrown Freddie under the bus after all. LOL. All the things Bea has done in that house and they dig her out over nothing. Weird. Good to see Lisa showing her claws though.
God that BB (and therefore my blog) was boring. Blame Endemol, not Exitainment.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Nothing to do with the Mingebaggery

When Marcus and Lisa are bonding, you know the ship's going down. Bea is such a spoilsport. Everyone's pissed at her so she just wants to walk. Why is BB giving her extra messages from home?! What is there to be proud of? I'd be sickened to have brought up such a spoilt, ungrateful snob.
The way she tried to wriggle out of those nominations was the most barefaced thing I'd ever seen. Why does anyone DESERVE to go over you, Bea, with the way you behave? I'm so sick of even hearing her voice. Get rid!
Good luck getting Rodrigo out of that house, Bea, you fucking spanner. You might as well just put your nomination in the bin. You should have nominated Lisa instead, it might have saved you.
Siavash and his bumbling nominations protest is just getting sillier. It's totally stupid. What is he protesting against!? I don't get what he's on about either. He's giving it all the rhetoric and posturing but he's saying NOTHING. It's just a load of old twaddle. Beware false idols!
Ha that was funny when he came out the diary room and ran into the innocents Rodrigo and Sophie. Bless them! Ooh but Bea touched the cursed man! Heheeeeeee. GOOD!
Siavash is the KING of going 'something has happened but I can't tell you what!' There's being enigmatic and then there's just being an irritant.
How can Charlie nominate Marcus and Siavash when he's been on the front line for Bea's most audacious stunts?!
David, please nominate Bea. Oh my god, he DIDN'T. Oh Jesus. Please don't let this happen again. David, you're an idiot. Ha and Bea nominated you and then lied to your face; sucker.
LOL to Marcus telling Bea he voted for her. Deal with it!
I like Sophie, despite the Kris thing. Ha, Bea, David and Marcus up! Bye Bea.
See how antsy David gets when he thinks he's going to get put up? Idiot. If Bea walks, he's the new target, let's destroy him. He's getting on my nerves.
Lisa lives again! Rules is rules. Zzzzz. DAVID Siavash still has his own mind! He doesn't have to vote if he doesn't want to; if BB is that bothered, they can chuck him out, can't they!
What's Rodrigo getting all aerated about? People are seriously worried, aren't they! The people with no faith in their own popularity. Charlie is attacking the wrong people as usual.
David on Ice! We wish. OMG the dark horse having a wank! Why announce it? Just do it privately! Why do they all want to see?! They happy slapped him! Ew, the belt buckle was undone!
At least he took it in good faith! Muchos LOLs.

Monday, 17 August 2009

Big Brother 10: I'm sorry, but it is funny

So are we going to have a positive or negative day? Ah, negative.
Bea: 'I've never had anything spat into my face before.' Well get used to it if you're going to go down Chinawhites when you get out; let Danielle Lloyd be a lesson to us all (in more ways than one). Charlie looked defeated in the fact of (non)spit-gate. Another scalp to claim en route to the biggest booing of all time.
Siavash declared Lenny Kravitz the coolest human being ever! Perhaps he meant 'mightiest douche'.
Warming to Lisa more than ever this week as she sees through Bea's Tiny Tears act. If she slaps the bitch, she could become my winner!
I like it when they get messages from home. It makes me realise they are human. Lisa got a message from some horror-movie style twins! Aw, they were kind of cute. LOL Siavash said it was like The Shining!
I actually felt something for Charlie too! I thought his mum had been in a coma for years, but it's six months. Maybe she will come out of it, then. You never know. (But let's not get our issues confused, he's not our winner). He looked like his dad! Rodrigo's face when he came back out; you can tell he really loves him, underneath all that hurt.
LOL to Bea's message 'maybe your mum was busy.' More likely she's disowned you, you psychotic munt. Bea's friend must be touched that she so appreciated her message. Every time Bea cries, it makes my heart soar. Genuinely. Seriously, if you gave her the moon on a stick, she'd want the moon on a stick, but carried by the rarest butterflies on the planet. You've not seen your mum for four or five weeks! Get a grip, you idiot. OMG why is BB even telling her that her mum didn't want to appear on TV? They shouldn't tell her ANYTHING! Keep that bitch suffering! Bad Big Brother! That's telling them stuff from home! God, if I'd given birth to that, I'd be ashamed to show my face too. She's fucking nutso.
Aw David's family have had T-shirts made with his picture on. I hope it says 'Fat Cunt' on the back. Jesus, stop blubbing, man!
ARGH my freeview cut out for about ten minutes on the middle. Boo! I wanna see Marcus's message. Right, I'm going to watch this again on the plus one. Haha, Bea's friend's message was even funnier the second time round in the aftermath of the crocodile river!
What's up with Siavash? I thought he was freaking because it wasn't his dad.
Urgh, the REAL Mighty Douche is back to give a message to Sophie! Woo, 'she's nailing the tasks'! Who said romance is dead? Fuck off Kris, you dickhead. 'Love you lots...' but not as much as he loves himself (or All Saints).
Haha omg Bea still going on about that video, she listed that person about 4839338420 down her list of people who she wanted to hear from. What a CUNT! Haha, Rodrigo and Charlie laughing about it was good.
OMG they really dug her out about it; that was marvellous. You can tell she's literally never been crossed in her life. Did she just admit she had no friends? Heheheeheheeeee! Her mum is gonna get it in the NECK!
Go on, Roddy, stick to your guns! Stop saying sorry to her! Stop feeding her cunt-fire! OMG Rodrigo and Marcus laughing at Bea's misfortune; I love it!
Kris... such a nice personality... I don't think so, Sonny Jim.
I missed the last bit after the break because my box died again. Oh well. I got the idea.
The only fate worse than being locked in that house with Bea, is being Bea herself. That would be some REAL torture. That poor, poor girl.

Sunday, 16 August 2009

Big Brother 10: It's offensive to clowns to call him a clown

Soz I didn't blog last night, it was a good 'un, too but I had my tonsils out yesterday so I am in the recovery position for the next two weeks. The worst part is, I can't shout at the TV! I can't even talk! Arghhhh. Bea is not aiding my recovery.
Rodrigo's rage was amazing; he made the diary room shake again! Charlie is such a nasty little bastard, I really hate his 'I'm innocent' act. Rodrigo is a volcano! His fury is a wonder to behold. Lucky he looks like a choir boy and not like Marcus or he would have been out of that house many moons ago.
The show has definitely lost something with Freddie gone and I hated seeing Bea gloating.
David was quite right to try and warn Rodrigo about his behaviour for his own good. Clowns make us laugh! LOL. Oh God, when Bea's doing the counselling, RUN!
Good to see Lisa and David are onto Bea. Bea you fucking idiot, it's obvious that some letters will have more words than others; thats why you picked at random, you dimwit. God, I'd hate to go to a pub quiz with this bitch, she's utterly ruthless.
Marcus: bollocks/ bastard/ barrionics?!
LOL to Rodrigo being just as shit at the task in Portuguese. Haha, Sophie tried to have OMG as a word beginning with O!
Charlie 'see no evil, hear no evil' thinks everyone really gets on! Yeah, and you're going to win BB!
Bedgate! Zzzz (literally). Why is Bea always moving beds? She wants whatever she can't have! She's the Princess and the Bea (that was poor, I apologise). If she's not up for eviction this week, it'd be a fucking miracle. No wonder Siavash doesn't want to sleep next to the dried up old bint. Then she's still pouring the poison in as Siavash is being kind in the diary room. God, get her out! I can't stand it. The way she talks to everyone is so passive/aggressive.
Marcus's bitching session in the diary room was lush. More Marcus!
I'm glad Charlie spat on that cunt. She was laughing at first! It's only water. She deserves spitting on. Watch her whip it up now. Guess you picked the wrong bed after all, you dick. Argh, get out of my sight.

I didn't realise that you wrote poetry...

Blowing my cover a little, but it will slip through the midst of blog time, I'm sure.
Two poems by me, one from the second book I'm in What We Were Thinking Just before the End and my poem is called Prize. If you like that, you might like my other four poems in it, or the extract from my novel First Aid Kit Girl. Equally you might not; I can't please everyone!
And another from the respected literary website Big Bridge, who were comiling thoughts on the US election (mine's at the bottom of this page and is about my dead cat, but don't let that put you off).
See it aint all reality TV round here. I'm an artist, honest, guv.

Friday, 14 August 2009

Big Brother 10: All the fucking best, Marcus

I can't believe we're going to lose either Freddie or Marcus tonight, I'm gutted! Still, I suppose we should be grateful it's happened in this late stage. Imagine if we'd lost them early; the show would have died on it's arse.
But how can we be grateful, when Lisa and David are scowling on the bench, reveling in their own inanity?
Postive! Negative! This makes Noirin's 'friends' schtick look underdone. Freddie's correct, it is projection. Bea is projecting all over the gaffe. The thing she didn't like most in that conversation was 'four million people'. She must KNOW in her heart of hearts that she is poison. She must.
Also, didn't Rodrigo take that Queen task well. I felt upset at them making a fool of him, but he dealt with it really brilliantly; how funny he can brush off that yet gets annoyed about the silliest thing. He really is a charming, lovely person and a worthy winner, unlike the bland plank Charlie who can't see what's going on right in front of his mush. The Bea-ranny lives on; how she swung that conversation with Marcus to him 'bullying' her was utterly pathetic, she is truly deranged. I liked it when Freddie laughed at her for being a stinking hypocrite! Charlie is just see no evil, hear no evil, he's such a shit judge of character. He's an empty vessel.
I like the fact Freddie can't be fucked to get dressed. Who would in that house of plebs?
I liked Marcus's fan mail and him moaning about it being the cameras fault because he's ugly.
Hi David, what does retard mean? You don't need to answer with words of more than one syllable, just draw us a diagram, you fucking spazz.
Haha to BB telling David off, although it seems wrong for BB to intervene like that. Really weird, actually. Although glad it riled Bea. Ner ner.
Lisa was actually right about Bea, but yet another person (David) not understanding when someone was trying to help them (and it's not often Lisa tries to help anyone).
We just called up to evict Freddie three times purely off the back of the memory of Marcus calling David a fat whinging cunt. Appreciate!
Urgh the bullying of Freddie reminds me so much of the old days. Bea has SEEN it, how can she ringlead it? She's tapped.
Ad break: I'm accesorising my underarms with bingo wings! That cannabis advert! ALL that from cannabis? All I've ever got is a little tired. They're overselling it.
Wetherspoons in Bristol is pretty banging? How? They don't play music in Wetherspoons! Bea, you're not as posh as you think you are, love.
Freddie's giving out his pick up lines, Mystery style! Ceasar salad! Far out, dude. Engaging the group! Pick your set! Freddie IS the pick-up artist.
Love Marcus! He's such a cheeky imp.
David you're a t-w-a-t. Oh Bea's hurt her wrist! Where there's blame there's a claim!
Do you think Lisa's going to roll around in her giant bag of tobacco as if it was catnip? I reckon her and David are fit to turn on Bea. As thick as they are, they must see it. 'Don't rise to it, Bea.' What? Someone larking around enjoying themselves? She has got nothing but poison running through her veins. What perfume does she wear; Vitriol for cunts?
Derren! Do a mind-game on Bea and evict her via magic!
Lisa and Marcus chumming up! It brings a tear to my eye... well OK, maybe not.
Ad break. Kevin Bishop is actually good. Ad break. I'd rather brush Marcus's ponytail every day for a thousand years than be in a 'flash mob'.
YAY we did it! Bea crushed Freddie, but Marcus stayed. That's people power. The cockroach has left the building! I can't believe Freddie's gone. He shouldn't have gone before Lisa/ Charlie et al.
But Marcus has been gold since Noirin left.
Freddie's pride has gone before a fall. Public schoolboys don't blub! LOL.
Cock-blocking Bea-ts! I don't want Freddie to be defined by the Bea-ness. He is more than the sum of her parts.
It's a bit unfair to say Freddie's not that good at reading people; no one could have seen it coming what a nutbar she was. Davina was too harsh on him! He's the people's prince!
Shut up John McCruick, you dope. Go drink some Diet Coke.
Yay they pulled out Freddie's Edward Norton moment! That was ace. Judi James is talking out of her arsehole, it must be said. Freddie had every right to attack them in the final stages.
Sophie is not going to win; she's a fucking numbskull.
Freddie was not given enough respect in that interview. He deserved better.
HMM! Bye Freddie. Love you. You woz robbed. Marcus to win. Every single person in that house nominated Marcus this week. That dark horse is truly irrepressible! Rargh.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Bagpipes from BB

The witch is dead! Not really, she's just spouted two heads.
Negative/ positive, blah blah blah. Freddie called Bea ugly (underhandedly). Heheee.My bran just switches off when Bea starts talking now.
It's just like white noise, utter claptrap.Take your auras, and your healing crystals and shove up your haggard, miserable arse. You're not good at 'etiquette' but you've got a gold star in shit stirring. Oh Bea didn't get what she wanted in the game again. Can you imagine being friends with the 6-year-old Bea? Terrifying. She makes (Corrie analogies, bear with me!) David Platt look like Simon Barlow.
Marcus vanity! Wiggly curl. I don't fancy him any more as a result of that wiggly curl! God, he's giving Bea a run for her money in the idiocy stakes. You do have a stupid neck and forehead; and that's the least of your problems. I think Marcus has body dysmorphia and sees himself as Johnny Depp, but cuter.
Christ I phased out for about fifteen minutes in the middle it was so boring. Get used to that feeling when Marcus goes.
Yeah I'm sure Bea would have thrown herself wholeheartedly into the task where she had to wade headfirst in bullshit; she's used to it anyway. At least Siavash and Marcus didn't complain. Imagine Rodrigo doing it!
Haha Freddie called Charlie out for nominating him and being a duplicitous little wank stain. However, evict Freddie for saying 'Marcus is going to go home'. EVICT HIM before his head is too big to get out the fucking door. Even the idiots have twigged that one.
Freddie's Scottish accent is worse than Eminem's one in Bagpipes from Baghdad. He didn't twig Bea nommed him, did he.
Lisa: 'life's a bitch and then you die.' David: 'life's a bitch and then you marry one.' Where would we be without these profound words of wisdom? I bow down to their originality and creativity! I gaze in awe at their intellect and beauty!
Horse-racing; Lisa came second. Enjoy that feeling because it's more than you'll get in this game.
Bit boring tonight, and it can only get worse as they try and coast towards the final. Might be time to bring in Siavash's girlfriend?
Oh and vote Freddie OUT! Don't get me wrong, if he survives this week, I'll back him again, but with Marcus you get the matrix, the big brother brain, and magic tree vanillarama! You know it makes sense.

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Emotionally terrorised

Brace yourself, because I turned my swearometer up to ten for this blog.
I've got a bad feeling about the nominations today after Siavash, Marcus and Freddie's naughtiness yesterday. It makes them such an easy target. Such a stupid thing to do the day before nominations.
Rodrigo actually listens when Freddie apologises unlike chief gargoyles Lisa, David and Charlie.
What are the things in Siavash's book you can never ever come back from? Snogging someone else whilst in a relationship? He's so right about Bea though. Bea has engineered the downfall of Freddie, but WHY? She has been on the outside, she knows we hate Lisa. It's weirdly schizo.
Ooh Marcus hasn't forgotten Siavash's past misdemeanors. Can we say agenda! Marcus is right in a small way though; Siavash does often deflect attention from his own crimes, merely by swanning round like a mellow deity. But that's just his schtick.
Marcus: 'don't trust anyone- apart from me.' Is that your unbiased opinion?
Maintaining negativity! Oooh, selling down the river! Truth. Oh, someone's 'picking on Bea' again; first the tyranny of David, now Freddie! She's like a bully magnet, that one. No, you horse-faced horror, it's not everyone else, it's YOU. Freddie, just thank your lucky stars she's not your girlfriend, because she's so manipulative, she makes Noirin look like the girl next door. She is actually psychotic. She aint that upset cos she's still putting her mascara on.
Freddie just SAY IT! She's NUTSO. That fucking bitch! Four weeks he got bullied for in that house, he fought so hard to win them round, and she's just come in and destroyed him.
Yay Marcus defending Freddie. Good. Does Bea REALLY believe she's blameless? She must be off her fucking head.
It's interesting to see who was scared when they allowed them to discuss nominations (David) and who wasn't (Freddie). Got something to hide, David?
I liked Rodrigo's indignation at Charlie nominating him. Rodrigo rage! I like watching them squirm. Lisa is such a jobsworth. And David, 'it's taken the fun out of it'- what, the backstabbing? Idiot.
OMG BEA ADMITTED SHE'S NOMINATING MARCUS AND FREDDIE! Can that girl sink ANY lower? She's a fucking disgrace. Her mother should be ashamed. Cosying up to Lisa? VILE. I just don' Is she stupid? I actually hate her guts. You were meant to be on our side!
WHAT! Then she nominated David! That girl can't even lie straight in bed. She's fucking tapped! She could have done Lisa instead.
WTF! Freddie nominated MARCUS??? After the way Bea spoke to him? What is he on??? Oh fuck you, Freddie, seriously, we are done. DONE! Marcus to win. Siavash to win. Rodrigo to win. Fuck off Freddie, you twat, you are totally cuntstruck. Grow some fucking balls, you pillock, Marcus was just defending you out there. And BB, can we please see the reason why he nominated Marcus? Seriously, your editing team should be fucking burnt alongside Bea and Freddie's 100K hopes.
We are stuck with Lisa until the end now. Do you know that? I'm FURIOUS!
OH Freddie nominated Marcus because Marcus want to go home (and I quote from last night's live feed) 'eat fish and chips, have sex, watch TV, play with his toys, and start a fight on the Big Brother forum'. They can't LET Freddie nominate Marcus for those reasons. Cancel his nominations immediately! BB, these contestants are making monkeys out of you.
BUT STILL Freddie should have nominated Bea, so sod him.
Oh no, David likes Queer as Folk! *burns boxset*
The nominations are a crock this week. Fuck you. This is the end of Marcus. I'm sad. He stays up late and provides all the entertainment in that house, unless you like Sophie and Lisa singing fucking show tunes. And if you do, you're a fucking twat.
LOL at Rodrigo checking out Sophie's boobs.
Drop dead Bea. Seriously. Just stop talking. You just got Marcus kicked out that house, are you happy? Now I have two weeks off sick coming up with no Marcus to provide the LOLs on live feed. I hope you are happy, you hateful harridan. Freddie looks like he's about to have a nervous breakdown. Even I as a viewer feel emotionally terrorised!
Hallelujah; she is NOT A NICE PERSON. Did the penny drop? Free love!
Aw Rodrigo, you're our last hope, sweetie. Freddie: TELL HER TO FUCK OFF. NOW! You could win this show. Ooh he's gone into Edward Norton mode. Stick it to the bitch! You should have nominated her, Halfwit. Convulsions! Heheeheeeee.
I feel angry at the outcome tonight. Lisa wins. Either way; she wins. Neither Freddie nor Marcus should be leaving that house before her. All we've got to look forward to now is the retards turning on each other.

Monday, 10 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Do Not Pass Go

Everyone's soooo naughty in BB this year. Anarchy rules! OMG babies crying AND Freddie singing! I pray for deafness.
I liked their little protest, it was cute. At least they've got personality. Freddie's gone all anarchist! At last. I love the way Marcus talks to BB. 'Shut the fuck up, you dimwit.' and the old classic 'lick my love pump'! LOL. Is BB going to come out and manhandle them into jail? No. Is BB going to kick them out? No.
Rodrigo and Charlie's rubbish arguments continue. Zzz.
Bea must be destroyed. She is so evil makes Lisa look like Rodrigo. I've never heard anyone complain so much about other people whilst polishing her halo of shit.
I like it when BB punishes the whole house for something a couple of people do. Why do they do it, asks Lisa. Purely to annoy you.
Aw Rodrigo trying to stand up for what's right. Bless him.
I'd be fucked off about the food being taken away, I must say. I don't think Lisa's going to take it too well. Sorry doesn't help! Oh, Bea LIKES David's cooking now. She said he was using it to stay in the other day.
Poor Freddie. Whatever he says to Bea he loses. Bea you're right, you don't need a mediator, you need a fucking smack in the chops, and I bet I won't be first in the queue.
David-absolutely-pathetic-fat-whinging-cunt-fucking-idiot, you need to diet anyway!
I like it when Sophie takes Marcus to task. Then Marcus blamed Siavash and Freddie! It IS arrogant. She's spot on. Marcus is so AWARE of being on TV.
Marcus and his computer friends! They're my favourite kind.
Ooh that was a stinger when Bea said she didn't think Freddie was as clever as he thinks he is IN FRONT OF LISA AND DAVID. Disloyal! Nominate the bitch! She's projecting all over you.
Bea all you do is reveal yourself as loyal to NO ONE. And no one, not even idiot boxes Lisa and David want to be friends with THAT.
I saw the bedroom conversation go on for about 100 more hours on live feed, and she brow beat him into submission. Free love! Has anyone ever advertised themselves so falsely on their intro vid? She should be apologising to HIM! Nasty bitch.
'It's not fair you inflict this feeling on me-your feelings are your own, dear.

Friday, 7 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Imagine the Queen

Frostie-gate! They're grrrrrrrreat! Tony the Tiger has got nothing on this lot. Lisa aint legally obliged to give you Frosties for fags, Bea. Bea IS a spoilt brat! OMG they weren't even real Frosties!!! Frosted Flakes! Faux-rosties! Tony the Tiger is now sobbing in his grave. They're faaaaaaaaaaake! It brought out the tiger in Lisa. No one's gonna enjoy those supermarket-own brand Frosties now.
Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! I kinda don't want Lisa to go now, just because it justifies the Bea-stliness. Hira exercises through the ruckus.
Hira's got a gamplan! What is it? Bad singing and shit exercises? Marcus having a go at Hira for swearing? Now if she called him a fat, whinging cunt, I'd give her kudos.
Hate Freddie being so sure Lisa is going to go. Just want to prove him wrong. I personally think it's between Hira, Lisa and David.
I want some TM! Oh dear, it's all gonna end in tears! I hope no one was trying to sleep in that room. Oh dear, poor Hira! Aw, nice to see them all having fun.
Urgh Charlie is an arsehole! See him push Rodrigo? I didn't like that. Nasty bastard. You are not the public's favourite, we have hated you since day one, you fake fuck. I liked it when the whole diary room shook from Rodrigo's anger. Feel his force! I LOVE Rodrigo's rage! He is brilliant! In the first three weeks he did NOTHING and he was still brilliant. That whole diary room was about to collapse any minute, it's made solely of cardboard. Rodrigo to win, I love the fire in his eyes. He really means it.
LOL to him not sitting on the chair. Don't put Rodrigo in a corner! The diary room looks massive. It's like a vortex.
I like Sophie, she's funny! I'd like to go on a night out with her! At least I wouldn't embarrass myself to this degree.
I HATE Charlie! I hate him so much. You are NOT a cheeky chappie, you're a nasty cunt. Fuck you. I don't care about your personal life, you're a crap housemate, and you pushed Rodrigo, the people's prince. Imagine the Queen! I heard she's disgusted.
I kind of want Lisa to stay. She's like a war hero. She is awful, but she's an original. And I'd love to see Freddie's face.
Here we go! Oooh, it's good when it's wide open, I'm excited. 'You are safe'; this isn't they way BB works. I'm glad Lisa was saved as it's one in the eye for Team Smug. But did they know it was a vote to save? Now they'll probably think Hira did something awful!
Well, can't say I'm that excited about Hira's interview; bet Bob Mortimer's depressed about that.
OMG Emma Kennedy; I hate her so much. I can't even remember who she is, except I hate her. Sort your hair out.
I want to be the girl with the most cake. Thank god she had that cake moment, or it would have been a total wash-out. They should have done a double-eviction, to make her interview less shit.
Well done, Hira, you're retarded, and your main highlights weren't even shown in the main show.
Hira is right; Rodrigo to win! You know it makes sense.

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Oh Lisa you're making me cum!

God, is Bea not used to not getting what she wants, or what? Her face when she wasn't Alice! She seems to think she's entitled to something; well all you're entitled to is a booing, so enjoy it cos your time is coming.
Siavash looked cool as the white rabbit. He'll go orange if he eats all those carrots.
I got 'smile like you mean it' about a second after it started. Aw, Brandon, Marcus knew!
Rodrigo's grinning was good. Lovely teeth. I liked the Alice in Wonderland theme, it was trippy. Mmm, cake. I kind of like Hira a bit. She's nothingy, but with a sense of goodness about her. She looked cute as a blonde. It's gonna take a LOT of her hand waving aerobics to work that lot off. She was DETERMINED, though. She's got grit. It was surreal beauty in that task room.
Haha Bea's face when she got nommed! Has any one person's perception of herself been so off kilter with their actual personality? (well, yes, Freddie..!)
Ooh Rodrigo is obviously worried! Haha, 'if you want to go home, open the door and leave!' Loving Rodrigo. He's got spirit, that fella.
Bea, David didn't put you up on his own, did he, the rest of the house DON'T like you, that's why you were up, you horse-faced twat-magnet.
Oh, Lisa is REALLY scared about going home. Rodrigo is on about disrespecting the house again; what about when he chucked cooking oil at the wall? Short memory!
Freddie is getting so bolshy, these days, it's really unpleasant. Still, I enjoyed the ruckus. See Lisa just bolt when it kicks off. Imagine him talking to her like that three weeks ago? He wouldn't have DARED!
Bea: 'why do you dislike me?' David: 'well where do you want me to start?' LOL!
Ooh Lisa's back! Now is your chance to shine! Come on, take the situation by the scruff of it's neck; I dare you! 'Oh Lisa you're making me cum!' OMG. DON'T!
OH MY GOD, FREDDIE! He literally just HAMMERED nails into his coffin. 'I'm staying because the public like me'. Doesn't he realise that opinions aren't static? Oh dear. What a fool. You're making me side with LISA!
HAHAHA OMG Marcus called David a fat CUNT! That's the best thing I've ever seen on BB. Even I wouldn't dare do that in the BB house. I love Marcus. He really doesn't give a fuck. He runs that house. He IS the irrepressible dark horse.
Freddie and Bea and their gamplan schtick is unbearable. THEY HATE YOU. IT'S NOT A GAMEPLAN.
Punked/ punched? Either way, Marcus wins. Sick of David now. Yes, you made a mistake, go say sorry to Marcus, hehe.
Haha, sorry for calling you a fat cunt. No problemo!
God, I feel really fed up with Freddie! It's sad for me, because I was such a champion of his, I felt like I could forgive him anything. At this rate bloody Charlie will walk off with it.
Nice to see Bea and David making up; maybe rowing does clear the air!
I liked the diddy diary room chair. God, Hira is having one bad trip, man. That was worse than a rainy Glastonbury. I think I could cry after eating all that cake.
Night of the fat cunt. Let's not forget it's endless joy. Marcus or Rodrigo to win. And that's that.

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Big Brother 10: A good strum over the dark horse

I have terrible news. The Queen's husband is dead. How he died, we just don't know. But it must be true, anti-feminist Bea declared it.
How can Bea not know who Prince Phillip is! He's a racist legend! Miss Know it All doesn't know it all, after all! Wish Freddie was there to set her straight.
Now Bea is giving it the 'friends' schtick. Zzz. You need the hoodie for that game! You're not even qualified to say 'friend' without the hoodie on, love. And you aint got it!
It's Bea's bathtime! Who is going to annoy her today? Freddie is in backtrack city!
Ad break: How many times can Peter Andre give his 'exclusive story' (GMTV/ NOTW/ now Heat) whilst protesting 'I don't want to talk about it! I don't want my kids reading about it!' Not much of an exclusive if you've told 25 different shitrags, and not much of a story if you don't want to talk about it. Talk about a hypocrite. I'm on Jordan's side, at least she's doing bdsm with a cage fighter. And at least she's honest about the exploitation.
Anyway, back to reality. Why does Rodrigo keep banging on about the Queen?! Perhaps he got confused with the other kind at an impressionable stage in his life.
Oh Bea, stop rubbing it in, you spiteful shrew. You've already humiliated the poor idiot.
Rodrigo's letter was interminable. Then Hira crying! ANYONE can write a letter to the Queen, you don't need permission. Aw, but that was so touching when he said 'before you arrived the house had an empty space' to Hira. I hadn't noticed her fill it! I like the way Rodrigo is so unreserved and passionate. He's a good soul, that one.
Nomz. Bea's in! Brace yourself. Although we didn't see it, interesting Charlie nominated Freddie and Siavash (two potential winners). He's really scrabbling for that cash now, isn't he?
David is no one's henchman, he's just an idiot-box. Freddie is more Bea's henchman. David DOES have permission to act how he wants, it's a free country, Freddie. He can even *whisper it* be rude to people if he wants. Especially manipulative psychos pretending to cry in his face. 'David's been trying to get on with everyone...' BURN HIM! Does Freddie not remember when he was on the bottom of the tree? Kiss goodbye to the cash, Freddie, the way you're going on, I'd rather see Charlie get it (almost).
Marcus is worried about being left on the shelf, so he's being naughty, bless him. Don't let him play with any matches now. He nominated Lisa and David for 'annihilating the butter.'
A good strum over the dark horse! Goodness me, I'm glad I wasn't eating when Marcus said that. Vom!
Another cunning plan! You can't tell me Siavash didn't foresee what would happen to him if he didn't nominate, it's bloody obvious they wouldn't put him up, but the others. His speech was rub, too. Big Brother can do exactly what he likes.
Still, I'm glad the house is up. Bea vs Marcus would have been OK but now we have a chance to get rid of Lisa. After all these weeks! But will we? Come on, you know it makes sense. Listen to her going 'don't talk about it'. She might as well have 'sat on the fence' tattooed on her arse.
Fuck me, David and Charlie know more about royalty than Bea. That's saying something.
Aw I do want Charlie and Rodrigo to get it on. The way Rodrigo touched his head when they kissed good night, it was really sweet.
OMG it's vote to SAVE! Bring it on! I wonder if they'll tell them it's a vote to save? This is good, this gets rid of the dead-wood. Bye bye Hira. Sorry love, that space has just re-emptied.

Monday, 3 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Remedial Class/ Ever-Decreasing Circles

I was right about her! Bea! Arch manipulator. God, she's a sly one. Her vs David. 'Don't be horrible'- he was just minding his own business, really. Her pretending to cry was ridiculous. She could give Veruca Salt a run for her money. Lisa kept her nose right out!
Oh god, calling him a bully! Yeah he's really intimidating, isn't he! She made herself look like an utter psychopath. Shit-stirring, threatening bitch. He dealt with her quite well. Uh oh, Freddie, don't stick up for the nutty little idiot. 'You didn't see the conversation'- exactly. Stop following your dick around, because it's leading you away from the prize every single second.
David to win!
Argh, this is unjust! I don't like it. Don't patronise him, you nasty cow. Just because he's stupid, he aint THAT stupid, cos he's seen through your game. She's unfair because she's obviously clever and tries to trip him up on words. But his core is right, and she can't change that.
God, did you see David fly off the handle?! He needs to go to anger management school, he's SO terrifying! Actually, Marcus, this has fuck all to do with Lisa, and everything to do with Princess Bea. She is playing this SO wrong, Lisa could end up looking sympathetic!
Ooh Hira speaks, and says something worthwhile. Big Brother is all topsy-turvy today!
I liked the way David dealt with her. He was so calm, I would have gone fucking schizo. I would shown her what bullying was, with my fucking fist in her manky teeth. She looks like a horse in a wig, let's not beat around the bush.
Put fucking Charlie from Chanelle's year, or Alex 'pow pow pow' from last year in that house and let's see what a bully is. I'd love to see either of them run rings around Bea. Her behaviour is uncalled for.
UGH then Marcus got stuck in! How pathetic. Can't he fight his own battle without Bea starting it for him? This episode made me feel like the Freddie days, all knotted in my stomach, when they were just being pack animals, and cruel, and Bea, the dimwitted twonk, watched that on TV, and then did the same damn thing! How thick can you get?
OMG Bea and Marcus just BULLIED David! Disgusting. Oh Freddie, go hmm somewhere else, I've lost patience with you, you creep.
I fucking hope and pray Bea is up this week, I hate her more than Lisa, because at least Lisa is ignorant. Bea should know better.
Even Siavash couldn't be arsed to back up her bileatribe. Even Sophie could probably see through this fucking transparent piece of work.
I like Hira now, she's a sweet little thing. Unlike Bea calling David a fat twat. I honestly feel like she's trying to swing the nominations, and I think it might backfire.
I wouldn't like being wrapped up in clingfilm like that! Claustrophobia beckons.
I don't like it now, because I can't pick a side. I like David, Sophie, Siavash, and Freddie (generally). Most of the time I like Marcus despite his flaws. I like Rodrigo but hate Charlie. Probably the best eviction would be Bea vs Lisa. I'd like to see that one pan out the way Bea wouldn't expect!
It's marshMALLOW, actually.
God, hasn't Bea done enough without coming to the diary room to pour poison in? Well guess what Bea, I LIKE Yorkshire Pudding, and I DON'T like gravy, and if he's yorkshire pudding, you're brussell fucking sprouts, you sick-making, hypocritical bag of shit.
Look at Hira knowing her place in front of Queen Lisa. See, David does know about stuff!
It was kind of sad when he and Lisa were discussing being dunces.
You can see why Rodrigo gets annoyed with Charlie; he's such a shit-stirrer. God, Rodrigo looks so hot in that polo shirt. I didn't like Bea patronising him; what other languages does SHE speak, except for fluent cunt?
I have a feeling the Queen might disappoint Rodrigo.
God, Freddie is so clueless. Do you think he's ever even got off with a bloke (or a girl come to think of it)? I'm seriously beginning to doubt it.
To throw one crumb at Bea, after she said that circle thing on the live feed, she said 'I'm only joking' which the cut out. Still, tough shit, she deserves all the bad editing she gets.
OMG 'I don't operate on that sort of level.' She's SUCH an arsehole, you rejected him, don't have a go at him as well! That girl is made of STEEL.
The harsh truth is, David provides more entertainment than Bea; last night on live feed, she gave the kind of speech on aliens/ poverty/ community that even the thickest 6 former would balk at for being utter cod psychology. Every time Marcus tried to speak, she interrupted him. None of it made the main show, and do you know why? Because it was boring, Bea's views on the world and boring, and her time is UP.

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Big Brother 10: Hira- Most Entertaining Housemate

I was very happy to see Isaac walk out of the door Friday night, but the fact he left just in time for the second half of BBBM left a bad taste in my mouth. It was clearly just a 'job'; and different to the fame seekers Sophie and Charlie looking for their break. Noirin and Isaac deserve each other; and the atmosphere on the live feed once they'd left was great; Siavash looked regenerated, with his hair all curly, like a Herbal Essences ad. He is battle-weary, but back.
I half liked Bea sticking it to Noirin at the end; but Bea is such a hypocrite in so many ways, it's annoying to need her as spokesman for us viewers. She does stick her nose into other people's business; big time.
Plus Charlie was so off having a go at people for not saying goodbye to Noirag; it was the other way around! Charlie is such a douche. He doesn't understand a thing in that game. I watched him for a couple of hours on the live feed last night, and he bored me to tears. So, he's got a sob story; that doesn't make him a winner, or an entertaining housemate. It might be harsh but it's the truth.
Poor Freddie, he's being out-bored by David! David is like the people's champion right now. So bad he's good.
I don't like the way Bea treats Freddie! He's her biggest champion in that house and I don't like the way she slates him and freezes him out. I'm sure he is annoying, but she's an arse. Bea is ALWAYS in a bad mood! I'd quite like to see her go up this week to be honest. She's too overbearing.
Charlie's clown act was about as good as his taste in friends. Freddie is pissed off about Bea; not the fire extinguisher. He wants to take Bea to 'that place' whether she likes it or not. Is it time for his to go back in the box marked 'victim'?
I like Sophie, she's sweet away from the glare of Kris and Karly. Christ; they could use Freddie's song for torture sessions at Guantanamo; it was excruciating! Bea looked like she was trying to think about something else- anything! Outdone by Hira; that's gotta hurt. Rodrigo's face was a picture. God, Hira's legs are skinny! Perhaps those limp-wristed exercises she does aren't all in vain. More likely it's just good genes.
Hira, enjoy your stint as the most entertaining housemate; there's some sweet irony in that. I pity the poor sod trying to combine her best bits when she leaves.
I liked Marcus describing Lisa as 'starting to mobilise again'. LOL to David getting ideas above his station! David stay in your supermarket/car-boot/ebay box! Just because Marcus wanted to be the most judgemental housemate! Mean. 'Food bandit'! David's card has been marked. This is how world wars start.
David does interrupt with banal comments; that's the joy of him. Bea is just being a snob. I'm more worried about the fact he's alleging he's 28 years old! I am older than him! He looks old enough to be my dad. Butter-gate! Zzzz.
How stupid is David hooking up with Lisa when he knows how unpopular she is outside the house? He's no match for Marcus. Marcus could kill him with one eyebrow- recognise!
I still like Siavash; no matter what he did. It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss, as Brandon Flowers once yelped. If I were his girlfriend, I'd forgive him; it's a high-pressure environment with too much time to think. Fuck what your dad thinks; you're a good soul at heart. Let Noirin go live on a ranch with her dopey boyfriend. I can't see her playing house somehow, no matter what she says.