Hiya! I'm round my BFF's house (I have friends! I know, well one) and we're voting to evict SOPHIE! We just voted at the same time to evict her. That's what friends are for. Synchronised evicting. Friends is having to not even ask who you're evicting.
Here's some comments from my friend: 'Charlie is insipid.' 'Callum is the shittest martyr ever.' Ha, then Dan said it, too! Weird. It's true, though, Callum IS like that.
Callum and Sam are having some 'lad chat.' Stand back ladies, banter ahead.
Callum is talking to himself: 'Charlie could have the whole world in her hands.'
Why are the twins on a task again!? Is this the bit we're meant to find 'hilarious'? Twin: 'this is a bit unfunny now.' You aint kidding. I asked my friend for a comment on the twins. She gave a five second sigh and then said: 'Dickheads.'
Emma is talking to the friends and family! Boooooo off off off etc.
We just had a brief interlude to look after a baby, but don't hold that against us. Babies need more attention than Big Brother. That's why I'M never having one.
Callum: 'I feel like I'm the third wheel.' More like the seventh. Charlie: 'Accept yourself.' For Heaven's sake.
Jack in a bikini. No.
Charlie in the Gina outfit. Callum's doing crab eyes. Cheesy! That was funny, mummy.
Charlie to Hazel: 'I genuinely believe you'll be a role model to a lot of girls.' My friend: 'Hazel had a good bullshit detector.' That must be why she doesn't like Callum.
Dexter can appreciate a good looking bloke. Ryan Gosling, for example. Callum's got 'straight friends, gay friends, bi friends.' Any black friends?!
Stop saying you hope Hazel goes, Dan. It's not helping matters.
Oh Callum, leave Charlie alone.
Get Hazel out! Booooooo! Oh, behave. Oh no, the twins are getting cheers.
Twist reveal: Dan, 'I knew it, I knew it.' HA. Sam doesn't even look like he knows what's going on, bless him. He can't hear! That's so unfair. Can't someone give him subtitles? They all seem quite reasonable about it, really. It was hardly the bombshell we'd hoped for and not worth losing Dan over
They didn't do the save halfway through like they normally do! That might have helped.
OH NO, it was Dan! Boooooooo. DISAPPOINTING. Not very surprising, though. Dan was always going to go against those two. I spent four quid on this bullshit! I HATE YOU, UK. YOU SUCK.
Sophie and Sam will feel guilty because they picked him. I wanted Dan to come third. Sexyback? More like Cry Me a River. My friend says, 'He looks so pissed off. You can see it in every movement.'
I'm glad Emma sympathised with him. Ha, Dan is pissy.
Detective Dan: you'll be remembered and that's all that matters. No one will remember Charlie in three years time.
I just asked my friend for a comment on Dan going and she said: 'It's a shame.' It's lucky I'm writing this blog and not her. Her boyfriend just came in and I asked how he felt about Dan being evicted and he said 'that's a shame.' I said, 'She just said that.' and he said 'OK, a mild tragedy.'
At least they weren't shouting OFF OFF OFF at Dan. He seemed to get a good reception.
Dan's best bits: 'You said your daughter died when she didn't die.'
It's CRIMINAL that the twins, Callum and Charlie outlasted Dan. I hope you're pleased with yourselves! Sorry this blog was brief, it's hard not to look like a twat blogging round someone's house. Podcast on Sunday as my boy is on shifts again! Night night x