Sup! I'm a bit late as just watched ray of Scottish sunshine Murray get mad with a roof. Still, good stuff.
Now on with proper things. Fake eviction. How do they even get a crowd down there for this shit? It's bad enough when you get to bay at someone.
Emma looks pretty. It's a shame it's not a real eviction as this would have been one to remember. DENIED.
LOL is that Wolfy's dressed up look? I'm surprised she's not got her camo trousers on.
Put some clothes on, Dan, I'm tired of those chicken legs.
Callum, I'm only being honest, I appreciate what you've said and I'll take it on board.
I can't understand a word Daley says. Is he casting aspersions on Callum's morality? That's FUNNY! Callum should have 'genuine nice guy' sprayed on his gravestone.
Wolfy's got a lemur toy. I saw a girl with a lemur backpack attacked by a pack of lemurs at Monkey World once. It was a magical moment. *imagines Wolfy attacked by lemurs*
CRUEL ANIMAL TASK. Don't put that emu in a pen. Daley is obsessed with bums. Sam talking to an oyster is the most animated I've seen him in a week.
Wolfy meets the emu: BITE HER BITE HER BITE HER. Callum: 'give her a shot.' I'll give you a shot if you don't stop being so affable.
Wolfy should go back in the house tell them Dexter said he was gay, Jackie said she's a tranny and Dan's an actor.
Jack is 'fed up of deep conversations'! Yes, I prefer my conversations more shallow. Can we see some of the deep convos, please? Pics or it didn't happen.
Dan is pulling his 'dude from The Wanted' face. Perma-sneer. The twins are barely fitting on that DR chair together at the moment. Send in reinforcements. One twin 'didn't trust the emu.' He's probably an actor as well.
Why is Emma mingling with the hoi polloi? Did someone pinch her arse?
Sophie: 'what does fatigued mean?' The way I feel about you.
Dan is Jackie's Paul Burrell. Careful he doesn't steal the silverware. Daley and Dexter are being mean about Callum!
Oh, God, Wolfy stop saying you're not going anywhere! Even though you're not! It's just rubbing it in. Wolfy hopes people will 'prefer her comedy.' What comedy?!
Callum's got his Lanzarote shorts on again. Dexter has sensed weakness in Callum and is biting. Callum, just 'be yourself', lol! Dexter has two kryptonites: 'women and gambling.' I think he left out douchery.
HYPOCRITE Wolfy is happy they've just given her some fish. Then she kissed a dead fish. I don't think Morrissey would approve.
Gina is right; Wolfy's got Big Brother brain. Yes, everything Gina is saying is 100% true. Finger on it completely.
It feels like Dexter actually has more power in that house now; like he's been through the wringer and back out again and he's bulletproof.
Wolfy is 'grateful for this wonderful bounty.' How can an animal lover cut an animal to pieces?
Sophie looks good in those jeans. Shame about her personality. Dan is antagonising the prisoner. Probably reminds him of the good old days.
I hate Hazel and Charlie's 'friendship of convenience.' They can't stand each other. Daley can't renegotiate the terms of his relationship whilst he's in the house, it's not like he's called the girlfriend, is it!
Dan, you're my number one favourite policeman in the house. Stop blubbing on the grass, it's undignified.
New slate: new Dexter and Daley. Yes, best stay indoors, both.
Yes, the crowd are chanting 'get Wolfy out' - ha. EAT IT.
They're evicting Gina first. Dan virtually jumped for. Gina's getting cheered! Yay. Aw, was weird seeing Gina fake evicted! Bless her. She took it great.
Gina's positive reaction might be the thing that helps Detective Dan twig. Why would they be chanting 'get Wolfy out' and evict Gina?
Are the timings going to make sense? They're getting Dexter out too quick!
Aw, Dexter looks sad. Imagine if this was real and they really got Gina and Dexter out in one night, that would be bullshit. Cheer him! Aw, Dexter is too cute! They're playing the Rolex Sweep! 'One glass of champagne for me, two glass of champagne for you!' That song is ace. Dexter's crying face is the best! Bless his little cotton socks. I want to cuddle him!
Dexter's head is bent! I love it! We want Gina and Dexter to get it on! Wreck havoc, lol. Sack that Big Brother.
No amount of yoga will save you, Wolfy. 'Something's not right'. Aint that the truth. I'm pissed off they didn't leave the right amount of time for the interview, Detective Dan will be all over it.
Open the champs before you start watching the live feed, guys! I love them in the luxury house, it's lush! Neither of them went for the food. I'm so glad Gina stayed over Sallie now. Her and Dexter are the dream team.
Wow, they get to watch nominations too! So much power. I have to say, I am happy with this twist. That house is looking so dour right now. If I was in there, I'd think, 'where's the entertainment gone?' Keep slagging Dexter, chubby! Ah... it's going to be a hell of a week. I honestly don't know who I want to win out of Gina and Dexter right now. They are both classic housemates.
Wolfy and Dan: your time is coming. Tick tock.