Why, hello! I have moved house. It's been a fucking nightmare and I have one cat hiding behind the sofa, but apart from that we're sitting pretty. Big Brother has been great! I have even changed my mind about someone already (Dan). I like changing my mind about things! I have half changed my mind about wanting Gina to go, too. I like Sallie but she really is one note, yap, yap, yap, mouse, cheese, snake. Gina seems to have a sweet side under the mask. But I'm fairly sure she's going to go. It's a shame to lose either.
I'm thrilled Michael is going tonight; he got found out TIME ago. The people's pillock. The people's prick.
Emma looks SO skinny at the moment! Her shoulders are so narrow. She looks like a little boy in that suit. I hope she's OK.
LOL to the sign saying 'hey doc you couch potato' - amazing! His podcast is getting proper famous - good on him. Listen to the Couch Potatoes radio podcast if you're a BB fan, it's fab.
I like Callum now! He is boring, but I don't mind. I think he's a decent bloke - he would be good to have in your corner. He doesn't just blindly agree with a group, and I think he secretly hates Dan, which is a bonus.Oh, Dan, I really liked you. But you're such a smarm bucket! And that hair is unforgivable. We're though.
£80 a night for the Savoy... this isn't helping Gina. I don't really like Hazel, I find her quite stuck up. Her and Dan are always slagging off Sallie behind her back.
WEETABIX advertising. Some casual product placement here. Weetabix is absolutely disgusting. It tastes like cardboard.
Why has Dan got pedal pushers on? Is he a middle aged man? Aw, Dexter walked in the room and EVERYONE left. Boo.
Why are Gina and Sallie wearing the same outfit? Another shit stirring task! Who's ugliest/ prettiest etc? It's the oldest trick in the Big Brother book. That's hilarious that Michael had to choose Dan as sexiest (the public really voted)! Aw, Wolfy, least attractive. I'd say the mum myself. I'd be proud to be voted 'most annoying'.
Jemima is sooooo Vinnie Jones. She's trying to RULE the kitchen. She will be up soon.
Wolfy has been named ugliest and smelliest. Ha. That's what happens when you've got a dreadlock. Don't worry, Wolfy, it's not what Michael thinks, it's just what the whole of the nation thinks. Michael's going to have to be removed for his own safety at this rate. Never mind, Wolfy, at least you're the most unique, right?
Michael is LAUGHING again about making people cry! What a lovely person! What a great guy! KNOB.
Oh Wolfy, save the speeches for the final. Imagine if Wolfy won and then became super slim like Josie? Would she be doing it for the overweight girls then? The girl we vote to win is never the same girl a year later.
Dan vs Jemima! Ding ding. See how he's hovering over her; threatening! Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly like Jemima but I swear Dan thinks he owns the place. He's going to be insufferable when he finds out he was right about Michael. Him and Sallie are both of the 'say it to your face' ie. 'I can be as rude as I fucking like' school of thought. Sometimes it's better to NOT say things to people's face. Sometimes it's better to just shut your fucking mouth. I tell you the problem with Dan: he can't see his own flaws.
'Who goes - it's up to you'. Not as catchy as 'you decide', is it?
That party looks LAME! I've had better office parties.
Does that Sophie ever speak? You have to work hard to be that dull. LOL to Charlie calling Gina an escort! Hahahaha - foot in it! I don't think she meant it maliciously. I like Charlie, actually.
Dan, put some clothes on FFS. I'm sick of seeing you in you in your pants.
Michael has had the BEST day making a young woman cry. What a hero. I can't wait for him to leave either.
'Your fate is sealed.' Strong words. OMG they did evict Sallie! I'm shocked. I wasn't expecting that. This is rubbish, they should have kicked Michael out first, Sallie would have enjoyed that moment - not fair she got denied that moment. Sallie, I'll miss you peeking over your shoulder coquettishly. I would have preferred Gina to go. But I didn't vote so it's partly my fault. I'm sad she's gone when there's so many boring people in that house. I feel a bit deflated. Did she ever even get her suitcase? Can she have it back now?
Shut up, booing idiotic crowd. LOL to Sallie shouting, 'Shut the fuck up!' at the crowd. 'You've been waiting since four to get in here, get a grip.' Brilliant, about time someone gave it back to that crowd. I would have told them that, too. So obvious that someone like her would go out first, a mouthy woman. No one can take it.
At least Dan will have a chunk out of him, losing his sidekick. I'd love to see him up next week. Sallie going 'shut the fuck up' to Emma Willis. Haha. Some people just talk like that. No offense is intended.
Michael times. Acting! DAN IS GLOATING! Did Wolfy just say 'my mum told me about that twist'? WTF? On reflection after rewinding, she said. 'that moth told me about that twist.' Now that makes a LOT more sense. The Mothman Prophecies! Speechless.
You can stop acting now, Michael. Nervous drink! Wolfy's got Sallie's earrings on. Aw, that was sad that Wolfy never said goodbye to him. I think I would be hurt by him. Even though he's an actor, I'd still feel lied to, especially if I considered him a friend.
Micheal should be getting boos! Set Sallie on him. Stop gnawing Emma's wrist. LOL they're sitting him next to Sallie. Brilliant! 'I don't think it's Hollywood for you, babe, more like Towie.' Line of the season, after the moths.
Michael's body language! I want Sallie to lamp him! Michael's twitching. I love it, Michael wasn't expecting Sallie to be sitting in on his interview. He's an actor - Sallie: 'not a very good one.' This is the funniest eviction interview ever.
Are there more secrets and lies than just Michael FFS? We need more than just this, surely? So what if Dan's a detective, Sallie sussed this prick FIRST! Sallie is a legend. This has sealed her place in the annals of BB history. Michael saying he didn't care about shredding Wolfy's prom dress - cruel!
Sallie: 'Is it vote to evict? Well no wonder I went then.' HA! I love her swearing, it's real. She's a normal person.
Michael: 'Wolfy is a lovely girl.' Sallie: 'She doesn't like you. I don't think she ever will.' Ha! I thought Emma was being a bit stuck up towards Sallie. Sallie is a good character. She's naturally funny and she's a loss as a housemate. Michael: not so much. Best eviction interview(s) ever? I think so. Next week the battle lines will be drawn. I think there could be a few up. Just ask the moth.
Showing posts with label Michael. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael. Show all posts
Friday, 21 June 2013
Monday, 17 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: I'd rather starve than eat your cooking
Hey! Oh the live feed Dexter was wearing a pork pie hat and describing himself as a 'PUA' (pick up artist). I think at least a few of them got their clothes back. Phew. I really thought they'd been shredded. Not. (Yes, i said not.)
Power animals. Talking to the birds. Shut up. I've warmed to Wolfy a bit though. She's nowhere NEAR as bad as Becky. I don't like Sophie. She's too much like Josie and she's not a strong enough character. I'll be open-minded, but at the moment I'm blah on her.
I thought Gina had turned over a new leaf when I saw her proudly washing up glasses, until I realised it was one glass, for herself. You go, girl! This girl is a piece of work. I honestly can't stand her. Another person I can't stand: Michael. Smug, remote, not real. I hate his ears as well. I hate his looks to camera. You're not Harry Hill. You're not even Alex Sibley.
I like Dan! He really reminds me of someone but I don't know who. He's sharp as well, you can tell he's a detective, because he's well onto Michael. I think he could easily win it. People should listen to Dan. He's not a detective for nothing.
Oh, I thought they were showing the nominations earlier, but it's just Michael slagging the others off. The housemates aren't stupid: actually. In fact, I actually like the housemates this year. I like watching them!
As if Michael would sit in the DR and slag EVERYONE off. It's bullshit. No one would do that, like go through every person in the house (well, except Topaz in BB Canada). Also, Michael can't act. 'An Oscar winning actor'. Please!
I think the Gina/ Jemima argument was a bit stupid; Jemima was just stating her preference. She wasn't being racist, in my opinion. Insensitive, maybe. I actually kind of like Jemima. I do think Gina was shit-stirring a bit. I think she saw an opportunity and took it. 'I feel like I've just experienced racism.' What has Jemima saying that got to do with you?
'You probably wouldn't go for a white guy' is a stupid thing for Jemima to say, though. Gina is SPOILING for a fight. I'd be furious if someone called me a racist.
Gina, if you're fighting with everyone, the problem is you, not everyone else. 'I'd rather starve than eat your cooking, it looks rubbish' was quite a funny line, though.
Everyone's faces when the two of them were going at it was funny. Fence sitters, look in the other direction!
Gina: 'is that a threat?' She's the sort of person who winds someone up and just watches them go.
Are they SERIOUSLY giving Jemima a warning for STATING HER SEXUAL PREFERENCE? You gotta be kidding me. 'Big Brother does not tolerate your opinion about who you want to sleep with. Sleep with EVERYONE. Be all inclusive.' Honestly. That is SOME JOKE. Conor is sitting somewhere, epilating his legs and cackling.
Uh oh, the mum can't keep a secret! PUNISH HER.
Live nominations time! ACTING! Why is three nominations, not two? Three is better, though.
Michael has nommed Gina, Dexter and Sallie, predictably. The three biggest characters in the house. LOL to Sallie calling him a dickhead.
Did Michael just tell Sallie to fuck off? Ha. Oh God, he's trying to squeeze a tear out, but he can't do it, just like Obama after Sandy Hook. Just dab your eyes a bit, it worked for him.
I really don't want Dexter and Sallie to go! I'd LOVE to see the back of the odious Gina. I knew the public couldn't be trusted with that decision. The public cannot be trusted with any vote!
Sallie is not helping herself by kicking off. Oh they actually mentioned the live feed at the end! Well done idiots! People might actually watch it now! No one even knows it's fucking on.
A word to the sponsors: I want the chairs that are in the BB house! I looked on Very and you can buy all the cushions and all this other shit, but not the couches! Boo. I think it's cos they're designer and not from Very.
Ooh, btw, I will be blogging and podcasting tomorrow (I hope!) but it will be late as we're going to the cinema! I know, cultured! We aint going to see Superman or any of that shit either! I'm going to lament over Ethan Hawke's gradually crumbling looks and imaginary romance with Julie Delpy. Sw.
Power animals. Talking to the birds. Shut up. I've warmed to Wolfy a bit though. She's nowhere NEAR as bad as Becky. I don't like Sophie. She's too much like Josie and she's not a strong enough character. I'll be open-minded, but at the moment I'm blah on her.
I thought Gina had turned over a new leaf when I saw her proudly washing up glasses, until I realised it was one glass, for herself. You go, girl! This girl is a piece of work. I honestly can't stand her. Another person I can't stand: Michael. Smug, remote, not real. I hate his ears as well. I hate his looks to camera. You're not Harry Hill. You're not even Alex Sibley.
I like Dan! He really reminds me of someone but I don't know who. He's sharp as well, you can tell he's a detective, because he's well onto Michael. I think he could easily win it. People should listen to Dan. He's not a detective for nothing.
Oh, I thought they were showing the nominations earlier, but it's just Michael slagging the others off. The housemates aren't stupid: actually. In fact, I actually like the housemates this year. I like watching them!
As if Michael would sit in the DR and slag EVERYONE off. It's bullshit. No one would do that, like go through every person in the house (well, except Topaz in BB Canada). Also, Michael can't act. 'An Oscar winning actor'. Please!
I think the Gina/ Jemima argument was a bit stupid; Jemima was just stating her preference. She wasn't being racist, in my opinion. Insensitive, maybe. I actually kind of like Jemima. I do think Gina was shit-stirring a bit. I think she saw an opportunity and took it. 'I feel like I've just experienced racism.' What has Jemima saying that got to do with you?
'You probably wouldn't go for a white guy' is a stupid thing for Jemima to say, though. Gina is SPOILING for a fight. I'd be furious if someone called me a racist.
Gina, if you're fighting with everyone, the problem is you, not everyone else. 'I'd rather starve than eat your cooking, it looks rubbish' was quite a funny line, though.
Everyone's faces when the two of them were going at it was funny. Fence sitters, look in the other direction!
Gina: 'is that a threat?' She's the sort of person who winds someone up and just watches them go.
Are they SERIOUSLY giving Jemima a warning for STATING HER SEXUAL PREFERENCE? You gotta be kidding me. 'Big Brother does not tolerate your opinion about who you want to sleep with. Sleep with EVERYONE. Be all inclusive.' Honestly. That is SOME JOKE. Conor is sitting somewhere, epilating his legs and cackling.
Uh oh, the mum can't keep a secret! PUNISH HER.
Live nominations time! ACTING! Why is three nominations, not two? Three is better, though.
Michael has nommed Gina, Dexter and Sallie, predictably. The three biggest characters in the house. LOL to Sallie calling him a dickhead.
Did Michael just tell Sallie to fuck off? Ha. Oh God, he's trying to squeeze a tear out, but he can't do it, just like Obama after Sandy Hook. Just dab your eyes a bit, it worked for him.
I really don't want Dexter and Sallie to go! I'd LOVE to see the back of the odious Gina. I knew the public couldn't be trusted with that decision. The public cannot be trusted with any vote!
Sallie is not helping herself by kicking off. Oh they actually mentioned the live feed at the end! Well done idiots! People might actually watch it now! No one even knows it's fucking on.
A word to the sponsors: I want the chairs that are in the BB house! I looked on Very and you can buy all the cushions and all this other shit, but not the couches! Boo. I think it's cos they're designer and not from Very.
Ooh, btw, I will be blogging and podcasting tomorrow (I hope!) but it will be late as we're going to the cinema! I know, cultured! We aint going to see Superman or any of that shit either! I'm going to lament over Ethan Hawke's gradually crumbling looks and imaginary romance with Julie Delpy. Sw.
Sunday, 16 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: Just shut up
Incidentals: I have hair envy at the woman on the Super Casino advert. Iain Lee was pretty good on BOTS. Rylan's show was quite good also today; more Little Brother than BOTS.
Gina should stop putting make up on because it looks like a mask. No person under 30 needs to wear foundation, in my opinion. I don't know how old she is, but it makes her look old. Her hair is ridiculous too. Mind you, there's a lot of bad, ratty hair in that house (Sallie). All I ever see of Gina is her sitting in the bed, stony-faced, not speaking to anyone.
I love Wolfy laughing at Gina and Sallie pointlessly rowing in the morning. It all seems so staged. I just don't buy any of it. I think I like Dan, they gay cop. He seems like a calming influence.
I like Wolfy and Sallie's friendship. Sallie actually seems to get along with a lot of people in that house. I like Sallie in a lot of ways. She's a rough diamond! Don't get me wrong, she's a tosser as well, but you can't accuse her of being one-dimensional. Mum, whatever your name is, Sallie is not picking on Gina.
Why is Jemina saying what 'attached girls' should wear? I didn't realise there was a separate dress code for single and attached girls! Can I see what's on the list of what I can wear? What a dick. I used to go out in my nightie all the time. Women should NOT BE DICTATING WHAT OTHER WOMEN WEAR. It makes me furious.
Gina is 24!!!! Fucking hell. It's a hard life being a lady of leisure, isn't it? She looks late thirties. Just goes to show what being a sourpuss can do to your face.Typing in your pin number is very ageing.
Sam gives me the creeps. Can we say 'inappropriate'?
Unidentified twin suggesting there's tramps near where Gina lives and suggesting she goes to Kings Cross station to Burger King! Ha.
Callum speaks! It does feel like they've put him in as the anti-Conor, doesn't it? He's like the opposite of an alpha male.
Gina is gross calling Sallie 'trash and garbage.' What makes you worth anything? A few of mummy and daddy's notes in your back pocket? She's just rotten.
Mole talk! Michael is getting on my wick so bad. I just can't be bothered with his bullshit! I'd rather we had another regular housemate. When he talks on the live feed I can't be bothered to listen, because I don't know what's real and what's not. He was talking about his sister earlier. Does he even have a sister? Why should I care about his made up stories?
I saw Sallie being tempted by these stupid sweets on the live feed and it was so obvious that she was going to eat them. If you put a button in there and a sign up saying 'don't push the button' she would push the button, it's just in her nature. She reminds me of Rebeckah from a couple of years back, but she's a bit nicer.
They're obviously not convinced their clothes have been shredded, as they keep going on about getting them back. I want to see their clothes! I want to see Sallie's Suicide-Girls-by-Primark range and Dexter's other blingy pimp shoes. It's boring seeing them slob round in Michael's hoodies.
I saw a bit of this task on live feed too, it was alright but nothing thrilling.
Fucking hell, man, Dexter is worse than Grant Bovey for going on about money. I like Sallie and Gina having sly digs at each other during this task. Has Gina got anything about her other than money? She's got a rock where her heart should be. Twin: 'she could be a man.'
They should have picked 'I don't like fat people' for Michael's secret! It would have been funnier. Michael is 'not in there to make friends'. Even if he warms to people, he won't actually LIKE them. Oh, no, he's just acting! It's just a job. He's only following orders. Knob.
The misery twins moaning again. They're hungry, bored, tired, paranoid, waiting to be evicted. They make the outsiders from last year look like Tom and Alex doing the Macerena.
Ad break. Unorthodox Jukebox, lol. Well done, Bruno. Top marks for douchy album titles.
Even I'm shocked that Wolfy's rent is £260 a month! Where does she live?! Gina so shocked that anyone can be poor and happy. Wolfy seems a lot happier than you, Gina. I kind of feel sorry for super rich people because they're so scared of being poor; it terrifies them. When you have nothing, there's nothing to lose. Gina, Wolfy doesn't want to go shopping with you. Nothing will fit her in Chanel. She's happy with who she is, you should try it.
Sallie and Jemina: joined together by a hatred of Gina. A common enemy to bond against.
Daughter describing Michael as Mr Tumnus. Snigger. I don't buy Gina's tears for poor little Wolfy. Damage control!
No BOTS?
Sorry I've not done a podcast, by the way, if you listen to it, my boyfriend has been working, so it's a bit sucky. We're going to try and do one late Tuesday night, but we're moving house on Wednesday so we'll see how that pans out. We'll be back to being more regular soon, I hope!
Gina should stop putting make up on because it looks like a mask. No person under 30 needs to wear foundation, in my opinion. I don't know how old she is, but it makes her look old. Her hair is ridiculous too. Mind you, there's a lot of bad, ratty hair in that house (Sallie). All I ever see of Gina is her sitting in the bed, stony-faced, not speaking to anyone.
I love Wolfy laughing at Gina and Sallie pointlessly rowing in the morning. It all seems so staged. I just don't buy any of it. I think I like Dan, they gay cop. He seems like a calming influence.
I like Wolfy and Sallie's friendship. Sallie actually seems to get along with a lot of people in that house. I like Sallie in a lot of ways. She's a rough diamond! Don't get me wrong, she's a tosser as well, but you can't accuse her of being one-dimensional. Mum, whatever your name is, Sallie is not picking on Gina.
Why is Jemina saying what 'attached girls' should wear? I didn't realise there was a separate dress code for single and attached girls! Can I see what's on the list of what I can wear? What a dick. I used to go out in my nightie all the time. Women should NOT BE DICTATING WHAT OTHER WOMEN WEAR. It makes me furious.
Gina is 24!!!! Fucking hell. It's a hard life being a lady of leisure, isn't it? She looks late thirties. Just goes to show what being a sourpuss can do to your face.Typing in your pin number is very ageing.
Sam gives me the creeps. Can we say 'inappropriate'?
Unidentified twin suggesting there's tramps near where Gina lives and suggesting she goes to Kings Cross station to Burger King! Ha.
Callum speaks! It does feel like they've put him in as the anti-Conor, doesn't it? He's like the opposite of an alpha male.
Gina is gross calling Sallie 'trash and garbage.' What makes you worth anything? A few of mummy and daddy's notes in your back pocket? She's just rotten.
Mole talk! Michael is getting on my wick so bad. I just can't be bothered with his bullshit! I'd rather we had another regular housemate. When he talks on the live feed I can't be bothered to listen, because I don't know what's real and what's not. He was talking about his sister earlier. Does he even have a sister? Why should I care about his made up stories?
I saw Sallie being tempted by these stupid sweets on the live feed and it was so obvious that she was going to eat them. If you put a button in there and a sign up saying 'don't push the button' she would push the button, it's just in her nature. She reminds me of Rebeckah from a couple of years back, but she's a bit nicer.
They're obviously not convinced their clothes have been shredded, as they keep going on about getting them back. I want to see their clothes! I want to see Sallie's Suicide-Girls-by-Primark range and Dexter's other blingy pimp shoes. It's boring seeing them slob round in Michael's hoodies.
I saw a bit of this task on live feed too, it was alright but nothing thrilling.
Fucking hell, man, Dexter is worse than Grant Bovey for going on about money. I like Sallie and Gina having sly digs at each other during this task. Has Gina got anything about her other than money? She's got a rock where her heart should be. Twin: 'she could be a man.'
They should have picked 'I don't like fat people' for Michael's secret! It would have been funnier. Michael is 'not in there to make friends'. Even if he warms to people, he won't actually LIKE them. Oh, no, he's just acting! It's just a job. He's only following orders. Knob.
The misery twins moaning again. They're hungry, bored, tired, paranoid, waiting to be evicted. They make the outsiders from last year look like Tom and Alex doing the Macerena.
Ad break. Unorthodox Jukebox, lol. Well done, Bruno. Top marks for douchy album titles.
Even I'm shocked that Wolfy's rent is £260 a month! Where does she live?! Gina so shocked that anyone can be poor and happy. Wolfy seems a lot happier than you, Gina. I kind of feel sorry for super rich people because they're so scared of being poor; it terrifies them. When you have nothing, there's nothing to lose. Gina, Wolfy doesn't want to go shopping with you. Nothing will fit her in Chanel. She's happy with who she is, you should try it.
Sallie and Jemina: joined together by a hatred of Gina. A common enemy to bond against.
Daughter describing Michael as Mr Tumnus. Snigger. I don't buy Gina's tears for poor little Wolfy. Damage control!
No BOTS?
Sorry I've not done a podcast, by the way, if you listen to it, my boyfriend has been working, so it's a bit sucky. We're going to try and do one late Tuesday night, but we're moving house on Wednesday so we'll see how that pans out. We'll be back to being more regular soon, I hope!
Saturday, 15 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: 'Are they your own eyes?'
Hello! Here's hoping for a recap under five minutes tonight. I haven't seen the live feed today because I was watching The Voice, although in retrospect, I'd have been better off with this lot of pretentious, self-obsessed show offs instead.
OMG! Gina hit Sallie. I mean, it wasn't much of a hit, but it was contact. I wouldn't like that in there. I don't like people touching me full stop, let alone with aggression. How can they be arguing so soon?! That was the same night Gina went in, right? Seriously, how can anyone wind you up that quickly?!
Wolfy in the shower! Sallie's backhanded compliment to Sophie who was worried about going in the shower: 'Doesn't matter what you look like, babe.' She looks just fine!
Jemina and Barry Styles is the most cringeworthy 'showmance' ever. I can't even look at them, it makes me heave.
Oh, Michael, don't talk to camera, you're hammy enough as it is.
Jemima's job website sounds classy. I think the crux of that conversation is, she's a hairdresser.
Fire in the kitchen! Health and safety. Call Mario. Tweedledum and Tweedledee need feeding. Do these two ever stop moaning? Oh, now they want peace and quiet. They're obsessed with how they're being perceived. The worst type of housemate is a self-conscious misery guts. You'll regret carping your way though the weeks when you get out, but not as much as I'll resent having to watch you.
Ha, Sophie doesn't like Sallie. Not surprising. It would be like befriending a venus flytrap.
New housemates are in (again) now. They seem to be keeping the recap reasonably snappy. I think things are definitely better on the production side this year (except BOTS). Not much of a task when we decided not to shred the new housemates cases. Barely worth the recap, really. ACTING, Michael!
Sallie's quite sharp really, telling them to move away from the couch or Michael would know they'd been watching them. Having someone's mum in there is a bit of a downer, if you ask me. I'd evict her asap.
Dexter's Tuco shoes crack me up. PIMP DADDY.
OMG Gina is sooooo rude. I love the fact no one was replying to her. What a spoilt bitch. You know where the door is. Well, there's a lot of doors, but if you get someone to assist you, you can probably locate the one marked 'exit'.
Tonight's best chat up line: 'are they your own eyes?' Oh, Dexter. I soooo don't want him to get evicted. I think he's the most interesting housemate; him and Sallie, just for the egos. LOL Dexter has a 'hall pass from his girlfriend.' THAT'S now the best chat up line of the night. I don't like Michael making fun of him, though. It's too easy! I don't like Michael's personality. I know he's acting, but he reminds me of that snarky dude off Conspiracy Road Trip.
Sallie to Hazel: 'have you been out with anyone famous'? Let's get down to business, hey?
Oh God, Gina is unbearable. She can't be 4 real. No one could be that stuck up. I think she could be the biggest cunt of all time on Big Brother. How is that humanly possible - just think about some of the contenders for a minute!
Sam: 'you came down with your fucking tits'. OMG the way he speaks to women! He has NO MANNERS. Someone needs to get him in line before he gets a slap in the face or thrown out.
Why would people think you're stuck up, Gina?! You seem so down to earth!
Where's the camera on this fight?! Where's the decent camera angles? How did it even start? Editing!
'Your cheap Primark shoes!' LOL. Do these two know each other or not? Why would there be that much beef on the first night? I don't get it. I feel like we're missing a piece of the puzzle. Why is Gina calling Sallie a tart? She didn't even see the launch night sideboob?
At least this means Gina will be evicted on Friday and not Dexter. You weren't 'shoved into a house' - you signed up! 'Lots of weirdos' it's BIG BROTHER. 13 years of it, we've had, where have you BEEN?! Honestly. Look, seriously, I'll help you find the door. Just fuck off.
Pretty good for a third show, no? Normally at this point I'm still working out names!
OMG! Gina hit Sallie. I mean, it wasn't much of a hit, but it was contact. I wouldn't like that in there. I don't like people touching me full stop, let alone with aggression. How can they be arguing so soon?! That was the same night Gina went in, right? Seriously, how can anyone wind you up that quickly?!
Wolfy in the shower! Sallie's backhanded compliment to Sophie who was worried about going in the shower: 'Doesn't matter what you look like, babe.' She looks just fine!
Jemina and Barry Styles is the most cringeworthy 'showmance' ever. I can't even look at them, it makes me heave.
Oh, Michael, don't talk to camera, you're hammy enough as it is.
Jemima's job website sounds classy. I think the crux of that conversation is, she's a hairdresser.
Fire in the kitchen! Health and safety. Call Mario. Tweedledum and Tweedledee need feeding. Do these two ever stop moaning? Oh, now they want peace and quiet. They're obsessed with how they're being perceived. The worst type of housemate is a self-conscious misery guts. You'll regret carping your way though the weeks when you get out, but not as much as I'll resent having to watch you.
Ha, Sophie doesn't like Sallie. Not surprising. It would be like befriending a venus flytrap.
New housemates are in (again) now. They seem to be keeping the recap reasonably snappy. I think things are definitely better on the production side this year (except BOTS). Not much of a task when we decided not to shred the new housemates cases. Barely worth the recap, really. ACTING, Michael!
Sallie's quite sharp really, telling them to move away from the couch or Michael would know they'd been watching them. Having someone's mum in there is a bit of a downer, if you ask me. I'd evict her asap.
Dexter's Tuco shoes crack me up. PIMP DADDY.
OMG Gina is sooooo rude. I love the fact no one was replying to her. What a spoilt bitch. You know where the door is. Well, there's a lot of doors, but if you get someone to assist you, you can probably locate the one marked 'exit'.
Tonight's best chat up line: 'are they your own eyes?' Oh, Dexter. I soooo don't want him to get evicted. I think he's the most interesting housemate; him and Sallie, just for the egos. LOL Dexter has a 'hall pass from his girlfriend.' THAT'S now the best chat up line of the night. I don't like Michael making fun of him, though. It's too easy! I don't like Michael's personality. I know he's acting, but he reminds me of that snarky dude off Conspiracy Road Trip.
Sallie to Hazel: 'have you been out with anyone famous'? Let's get down to business, hey?
Oh God, Gina is unbearable. She can't be 4 real. No one could be that stuck up. I think she could be the biggest cunt of all time on Big Brother. How is that humanly possible - just think about some of the contenders for a minute!
Sam: 'you came down with your fucking tits'. OMG the way he speaks to women! He has NO MANNERS. Someone needs to get him in line before he gets a slap in the face or thrown out.
Why would people think you're stuck up, Gina?! You seem so down to earth!
Where's the camera on this fight?! Where's the decent camera angles? How did it even start? Editing!
'Your cheap Primark shoes!' LOL. Do these two know each other or not? Why would there be that much beef on the first night? I don't get it. I feel like we're missing a piece of the puzzle. Why is Gina calling Sallie a tart? She didn't even see the launch night sideboob?
At least this means Gina will be evicted on Friday and not Dexter. You weren't 'shoved into a house' - you signed up! 'Lots of weirdos' it's BIG BROTHER. 13 years of it, we've had, where have you BEEN?! Honestly. Look, seriously, I'll help you find the door. Just fuck off.
Pretty good for a third show, no? Normally at this point I'm still working out names!
Friday, 14 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: Launch Night: 'I'm London's most notorious sugar daddy'
Hiya! So I just watched two hours of live feed. Quite good actually, comforting, like an old pair of slippers. I didn't learn a great deal, except the twins have expressions like they've just been told their family have been in a car wreck, and Sam likes girls on bikes with baskets on the front. Still, it's more than I would have known without those crumbs. Mmm, crumbs! Nom nom nom. Honestly, the twins are doing a thousand yard stare and gnawing on their nails. I don't know what's up with them but they have the faces of men off to the gallows.
So, onto tonight. I'm wondering if Michael is going to get Stockholm syndrome and start falling for his housemates? It would be good to see him go on some sort of emotional 'journey' (Dermot™). Are they really calling him 'the people's puppet'? That's so lame.The people's muppet more like. Puppet. Poppets. It's just too much.
I like those round orange chairs, I want one of those. LOL Dexter will buy everyone new stuff (of his choosing). He will buy everyone's friendship with 'male Louboutins'.Dexter: 'I'm London's most notorious sugar daddy. The press hate me.' The press wrote one story about you! No one knows who you are. Stop being a dick. No, don't actually. Be an enormous dick. It's entertaining.
Wolfy is getting on my wick, too. Sam is flirting with Jemima! 'You make my winky expand' is not much of a chat up line. Sam talks just like Glyn. I wonder if he knows how to cook an egg? All will be revealed.
Dexter: 'people shouldn't discriminate against me.' Why, because you're a knob? One thing you can't buy is respect. Unless you're a gangster.
LOL to Sallie going in the DR and slagging off Jemima and Callum already! 'Dexter's a cock.' Ha!
Ha to Dexter trying to sprawl in the Diary Room chair like an insouciant Jeremy Kyle guest. Dexter: you should be grateful Sallie knows about you AT ALL! I can't believe he's arguing with Sallie on the first night. Bad strategy! Weak gameplay.
Good to see Michael as himself. 'ACTING.' You should try it. Oh God, they're not going to make him a real housemate, are they? That would be rubbish.
Jemima is drunk. Barry Styles is picking his nose. Are these two gonna get off? Groo. OMG she tried to kiss him and he backed off. That is SAD. I wouldn't touch a 23 year old with a barge pole. Desperate!
I like the furry purple bench. I can't believe everyone's bitching so much already. I find that uniquely British.
Why is Sallie bothered if Sam gets off with Jemima? It's none of her business! Dexter, the onesie look isn't for you. Thought you were going to have a light then fuck off? Sallie is chief shit stirrer.
New housemates! Oh, a black person. Well done, Big Brother! Gina has an allowance of 10K a month and can't survive on it. Oh dear. Gina, meet Dexter. Rich people are so boring! Bragging about labels and stuff. It really is dull. People shouting 'off' at her, I wondered where all the animals in the crowd were. Maybe they kept them there since last night.
Sallie is going to be thrilled to be knocked off top dog perch. Watch your back, Gina! I think Gina can handle herself, though.
I almost thought Dan was good looking then, then I heard he was a police officer, then I saw his hairline. He's a gay dad. He's got it all going on. All bases covered. It looks like Dan's had a mid season buzzcut already, and that's his going in hair. How does that work?
Not another glamour girl! God. Sallie's head will explode. I thought we were getting smart older housemates this year? This a cookie cutter type housemate. She's like brunette Barbie. Callum's eyes just fell out of his head.
Last night's housemates already look jaded in yesterday's clothes, ha. How quickly you become old news.
Next up is Daley, a part time boxer. He looks quite attractive, but I don't like sporty types. The girls will be after him, no doubt. I don't think you can be crazy AND normal as he professed. They are the opposite of each other. I could see him winning it. He's 'going with the flow'. I hope that flow isn't leading down the rapids. 'Not religious but spiritual'. Oh, fuck off.
Now it's getting interesting though, wondering how all these personalities will mix together.
OK, last housemate. Oh, a mother and daughter! As one housemate. That's weird. Posh. Annoying. I'm not sure how I feel about mothers and daughters in there. Wasn't the last mother and daughter in there Jade and her mum? That didn't end well. That Beyonce song makes me want to punch my own face in. OH, they're not one housemate, they're two! Why? Why can't the twins be individual as well? I don't get it.
Sallie must be upset that everyone coming in today missed her sideboob last night. Sallie's like a Jasmine character a bit, like a tragic child who just needs counselling and instead gets tattoos and has a massive attitude.
Oh God, time for Michael to overact again. So will he shred housemates suitcases for a pizza? Shredder. Pizzas. It's like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What, WE voted to not shred the new hms suitcases? I didn't vote for that!
So they're telling them that Michael is immune and he chooses the first three up for eviction. So is that true? I guess WE choose, right? I don't think I trust US to choose!
LOL to Emma nearly saying 'Channel 4'. Whoops! All in all, lots of fun. Except I had no wine and I watched it alone, surrounded by cardboard boxes. But that's not Endemol's fault. Is it?
So, onto tonight. I'm wondering if Michael is going to get Stockholm syndrome and start falling for his housemates? It would be good to see him go on some sort of emotional 'journey' (Dermot™). Are they really calling him 'the people's puppet'? That's so lame.The people's muppet more like. Puppet. Poppets. It's just too much.
I like those round orange chairs, I want one of those. LOL Dexter will buy everyone new stuff (of his choosing). He will buy everyone's friendship with 'male Louboutins'.Dexter: 'I'm London's most notorious sugar daddy. The press hate me.' The press wrote one story about you! No one knows who you are. Stop being a dick. No, don't actually. Be an enormous dick. It's entertaining.
Wolfy is getting on my wick, too. Sam is flirting with Jemima! 'You make my winky expand' is not much of a chat up line. Sam talks just like Glyn. I wonder if he knows how to cook an egg? All will be revealed.
Dexter: 'people shouldn't discriminate against me.' Why, because you're a knob? One thing you can't buy is respect. Unless you're a gangster.
LOL to Sallie going in the DR and slagging off Jemima and Callum already! 'Dexter's a cock.' Ha!
Ha to Dexter trying to sprawl in the Diary Room chair like an insouciant Jeremy Kyle guest. Dexter: you should be grateful Sallie knows about you AT ALL! I can't believe he's arguing with Sallie on the first night. Bad strategy! Weak gameplay.
Good to see Michael as himself. 'ACTING.' You should try it. Oh God, they're not going to make him a real housemate, are they? That would be rubbish.
Jemima is drunk. Barry Styles is picking his nose. Are these two gonna get off? Groo. OMG she tried to kiss him and he backed off. That is SAD. I wouldn't touch a 23 year old with a barge pole. Desperate!
I like the furry purple bench. I can't believe everyone's bitching so much already. I find that uniquely British.
Why is Sallie bothered if Sam gets off with Jemima? It's none of her business! Dexter, the onesie look isn't for you. Thought you were going to have a light then fuck off? Sallie is chief shit stirrer.
New housemates! Oh, a black person. Well done, Big Brother! Gina has an allowance of 10K a month and can't survive on it. Oh dear. Gina, meet Dexter. Rich people are so boring! Bragging about labels and stuff. It really is dull. People shouting 'off' at her, I wondered where all the animals in the crowd were. Maybe they kept them there since last night.
Sallie is going to be thrilled to be knocked off top dog perch. Watch your back, Gina! I think Gina can handle herself, though.
I almost thought Dan was good looking then, then I heard he was a police officer, then I saw his hairline. He's a gay dad. He's got it all going on. All bases covered. It looks like Dan's had a mid season buzzcut already, and that's his going in hair. How does that work?
Not another glamour girl! God. Sallie's head will explode. I thought we were getting smart older housemates this year? This a cookie cutter type housemate. She's like brunette Barbie. Callum's eyes just fell out of his head.
Last night's housemates already look jaded in yesterday's clothes, ha. How quickly you become old news.
Next up is Daley, a part time boxer. He looks quite attractive, but I don't like sporty types. The girls will be after him, no doubt. I don't think you can be crazy AND normal as he professed. They are the opposite of each other. I could see him winning it. He's 'going with the flow'. I hope that flow isn't leading down the rapids. 'Not religious but spiritual'. Oh, fuck off.
Now it's getting interesting though, wondering how all these personalities will mix together.
OK, last housemate. Oh, a mother and daughter! As one housemate. That's weird. Posh. Annoying. I'm not sure how I feel about mothers and daughters in there. Wasn't the last mother and daughter in there Jade and her mum? That didn't end well. That Beyonce song makes me want to punch my own face in. OH, they're not one housemate, they're two! Why? Why can't the twins be individual as well? I don't get it.
Sallie must be upset that everyone coming in today missed her sideboob last night. Sallie's like a Jasmine character a bit, like a tragic child who just needs counselling and instead gets tattoos and has a massive attitude.
Oh God, time for Michael to overact again. So will he shred housemates suitcases for a pizza? Shredder. Pizzas. It's like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What, WE voted to not shred the new hms suitcases? I didn't vote for that!
So they're telling them that Michael is immune and he chooses the first three up for eviction. So is that true? I guess WE choose, right? I don't think I trust US to choose!
LOL to Emma nearly saying 'Channel 4'. Whoops! All in all, lots of fun. Except I had no wine and I watched it alone, surrounded by cardboard boxes. But that's not Endemol's fault. Is it?
Thursday, 13 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: Secrets and Lies
What series is it? I never have a clue. For the amount of different Big Brothers' I watch, my knowledge of the finer details are quite poor. Anyway, this is the first UK series that Emma Willis is presenting, something which is upsetting my boyfriend, an avid Brian Dowling fan. I personally think Emma will do a decent job and I quite like her.
On the face of it, things could be good this time round. There's a new producer, quite a radically different house, live feed (two hours, but you know, it's better than a smack in the face). Rylan also said on The Wright Stuff that the contestants were going to be older, which probably means there are two or three oldies. There's a psych show. All pointing towards a good show, right? So why is this 'launch night split over two shows' making me twitch? I've got a funny feeling it's going to be boys and girls in two different houses like on the Australian show, which we know didn't work from Ziggy's year. I don't like first night twists, I just want to see them interact, but I know that ship has long sailed. Waa waa waa, back in the day. I know. I'm old.
Sponsored by Super Casino! The class goes up and up.
Here we go! Emma looks good. I like her dress and shoes. Her arms look muscly! And she's a fan of the show. She is a bit 'only following orders' but that's OK.
The house looks cool! Look at the doors. It looks like they've spent a few quid on it for once. It's quirky, like a Teletubbies house. The house looks massive! I like the furnishings! I don't like the Diary Room chair, though. It doesn't look comfy. Nice to see round the house though (briefly).
First in are Jack and Joe (Jedward after too many carveries). They don't look 18. They look about 40. What's with those jumpers? Are they one housemate or two? I hate these joint housemates. They are individuals even if they're twins. They laugh like a pair of hyenas.
Next up is Sallie, a firebreathing glamour model. She's got loads of tattoos so that's a bit different from the usual glamour girls. She's more Jodie Marsh than Jordan. Likes beanie hats. Why? DAPPY. OMG look at her outfit! I think she forgot to put her top on. I'd be nervous about hugging her! You'd get done for sexual assault. I'm surprised she didn't get booed more for being so comfortable with herself. I think she might be alright. At least interesting.
Jemima runs a golddiggers website. She looks ropey. Her highlights wouldn't be out of place on a Judge Judy guest. An SJP lookalike! That's nothing to boast about. She could be entertaining, though.
They're drinking out of jam jars. They're taking this eco thing seriously.
Michael is 'a little bit crazy'. He described himself as 'a little bit cute.' I beg to differ. He looks like a frog. Says he has a gameplan. Unless I see it drawn in crayon I'm not interested.
OMG Michael is a MOLE! A real mole! Cool. We've been waiting for that one for a while. I wouldn't like him to stay the whole time though. What if he wins it?
I like the tree house and the garden. WHERE'S THE CHICKENS? Bring back Marjorie! Definitely showing my age now.
Callum is 'laid back with a sharp edge.' Like a razor on the side of the bathtub. He didn't get a Twitter quote come up so I can only presume he's too stupid to use Twitter. This is my idea of hell in a man. Right there. He's a great interviewee! Emma looked at him like 'you freak.' He reminds me of Conor. He reminds me of someone else too, but I can't place it. Callum's favourite 'artist' of all time is Will Smith. What?
Wolfy is up next. Peter Kaye in lesbian form. She's a hippy. She's barefoot and crying. Oh dear. She used the word 'birds' to describe women. Ugh. Do lesbians really do that? If so, we've got no hope as women. Oh no, apparently she meant actual birds. Sorry, Wolfy. She doesn't drink. Always suspicious. She reminds me of Becky from last year, and that's NOOOOOOO good thing. 'Come on, you bastards' was her high point.
Sam. A Welsh Harry Styles. I can't understand what he's saying! Give him some subtitles FFS. Is he deaf? Oops. 'You make my winky expand'. Ugh! 23, he looks about 12. HE'S NOT EVEN CUTE. Oh shit, he really is deaf. Apologies. He still needs subtitles, though.
Sophie: 'people fink that I'm fick.' I wonder why? 'But I'm quite clever actually.' We'll see. She's dressed like a mermaid. Her voice is enough to make you want to punch yourself in the face. Two people within the space of two minutes have described her as gorgeous now. If you say so. I'm so over thick people on BB.
Ad break. Neighbours: the eclipse. That sounds good, ha.
Yeah Dexter looks good, Kenneth Tong the return! Spent £121K in a bar. 28?! He looks about five. He's gonna be an ALMIGHTY douche. He's going to be a great housemate. When he told Emma he had a 'kind heart' I was disappointed. He's got his Butlins coat on! Did he say 'is that legal?' to Sallie's outfit?
How did Michael know where the DR was? PLANT! So does he act in the Diary Room, too? Maybe he's not even Irish. Get him to say 'three' then we'll figure it out.
ACTING! It would be hard to act all the time. As he's finding already. LOL someone just called him a cunt. NO ONE would go in there on the first night and shred all the other housemates clothes: no one. You'd be out on your ear in ten seconds. This 'twist' could fall apart any second.
I hate people who say 'borrowed you' when they mean LEANT, Sallie. It's LEANT, Sallie. Or is it lent?It's underling leant. Either way, it's not 'borrowed you'. EITHER WAY.
Fucking hell man, we could have got a warning for 'My face is eating me alive.' C5 has so turned into C4. They've nicked all their best shows.
It's bollocks that they're shredding all their clothes. It's just empty suitcases. Dexter looks like Rodrigo from a distance. A long distance, as Rodrigo is cute. Let's throw Callum in the shredder to check it's working. There's no WAY their clothes are in there. What if people have got contact lenses and stuff like that? I wouldn't cuddle Michael, I'd be fuming! I'd be wearing his clothes for the rest of the season. Even if they didn't fit.
In a way I think it's good splitting the launch show as sometimes it can be tedious. I wonder if there'll be another mole tomorrow? The only reason I'm pissy about it is because my boyfriend is working tomorrow so we can't watch it together, I know, heartbreaking, get your tiny violin out.
Right we're gonna do a podcast. I did enjoy it, you know! I like Emma! There will be blood. Ooh I just saw 5 mins of BOTS. I didn't expect AJ to speak like that, like Tess Daly. Rylan looks like he's struggling to keep his teeth in, bless him. I miss Jamie East! I never thought you'd hear me say that.
On the face of it, things could be good this time round. There's a new producer, quite a radically different house, live feed (two hours, but you know, it's better than a smack in the face). Rylan also said on The Wright Stuff that the contestants were going to be older, which probably means there are two or three oldies. There's a psych show. All pointing towards a good show, right? So why is this 'launch night split over two shows' making me twitch? I've got a funny feeling it's going to be boys and girls in two different houses like on the Australian show, which we know didn't work from Ziggy's year. I don't like first night twists, I just want to see them interact, but I know that ship has long sailed. Waa waa waa, back in the day. I know. I'm old.
Sponsored by Super Casino! The class goes up and up.
Here we go! Emma looks good. I like her dress and shoes. Her arms look muscly! And she's a fan of the show. She is a bit 'only following orders' but that's OK.
The house looks cool! Look at the doors. It looks like they've spent a few quid on it for once. It's quirky, like a Teletubbies house. The house looks massive! I like the furnishings! I don't like the Diary Room chair, though. It doesn't look comfy. Nice to see round the house though (briefly).
First in are Jack and Joe (Jedward after too many carveries). They don't look 18. They look about 40. What's with those jumpers? Are they one housemate or two? I hate these joint housemates. They are individuals even if they're twins. They laugh like a pair of hyenas.
Next up is Sallie, a firebreathing glamour model. She's got loads of tattoos so that's a bit different from the usual glamour girls. She's more Jodie Marsh than Jordan. Likes beanie hats. Why? DAPPY. OMG look at her outfit! I think she forgot to put her top on. I'd be nervous about hugging her! You'd get done for sexual assault. I'm surprised she didn't get booed more for being so comfortable with herself. I think she might be alright. At least interesting.
Jemima runs a golddiggers website. She looks ropey. Her highlights wouldn't be out of place on a Judge Judy guest. An SJP lookalike! That's nothing to boast about. She could be entertaining, though.
They're drinking out of jam jars. They're taking this eco thing seriously.
Michael is 'a little bit crazy'. He described himself as 'a little bit cute.' I beg to differ. He looks like a frog. Says he has a gameplan. Unless I see it drawn in crayon I'm not interested.
OMG Michael is a MOLE! A real mole! Cool. We've been waiting for that one for a while. I wouldn't like him to stay the whole time though. What if he wins it?
I like the tree house and the garden. WHERE'S THE CHICKENS? Bring back Marjorie! Definitely showing my age now.
Callum is 'laid back with a sharp edge.' Like a razor on the side of the bathtub. He didn't get a Twitter quote come up so I can only presume he's too stupid to use Twitter. This is my idea of hell in a man. Right there. He's a great interviewee! Emma looked at him like 'you freak.' He reminds me of Conor. He reminds me of someone else too, but I can't place it. Callum's favourite 'artist' of all time is Will Smith. What?
Wolfy is up next. Peter Kaye in lesbian form. She's a hippy. She's barefoot and crying. Oh dear. She used the word 'birds' to describe women. Ugh. Do lesbians really do that? If so, we've got no hope as women. Oh no, apparently she meant actual birds. Sorry, Wolfy. She doesn't drink. Always suspicious. She reminds me of Becky from last year, and that's NOOOOOOO good thing. 'Come on, you bastards' was her high point.
Sam. A Welsh Harry Styles. I can't understand what he's saying! Give him some subtitles FFS. Is he deaf? Oops. 'You make my winky expand'. Ugh! 23, he looks about 12. HE'S NOT EVEN CUTE. Oh shit, he really is deaf. Apologies. He still needs subtitles, though.
Sophie: 'people fink that I'm fick.' I wonder why? 'But I'm quite clever actually.' We'll see. She's dressed like a mermaid. Her voice is enough to make you want to punch yourself in the face. Two people within the space of two minutes have described her as gorgeous now. If you say so. I'm so over thick people on BB.
Ad break. Neighbours: the eclipse. That sounds good, ha.
Yeah Dexter looks good, Kenneth Tong the return! Spent £121K in a bar. 28?! He looks about five. He's gonna be an ALMIGHTY douche. He's going to be a great housemate. When he told Emma he had a 'kind heart' I was disappointed. He's got his Butlins coat on! Did he say 'is that legal?' to Sallie's outfit?
How did Michael know where the DR was? PLANT! So does he act in the Diary Room, too? Maybe he's not even Irish. Get him to say 'three' then we'll figure it out.
ACTING! It would be hard to act all the time. As he's finding already. LOL someone just called him a cunt. NO ONE would go in there on the first night and shred all the other housemates clothes: no one. You'd be out on your ear in ten seconds. This 'twist' could fall apart any second.
I hate people who say 'borrowed you' when they mean LEANT, Sallie. It's LEANT, Sallie. Or is it lent?It's underling leant. Either way, it's not 'borrowed you'. EITHER WAY.
Fucking hell man, we could have got a warning for 'My face is eating me alive.' C5 has so turned into C4. They've nicked all their best shows.
It's bollocks that they're shredding all their clothes. It's just empty suitcases. Dexter looks like Rodrigo from a distance. A long distance, as Rodrigo is cute. Let's throw Callum in the shredder to check it's working. There's no WAY their clothes are in there. What if people have got contact lenses and stuff like that? I wouldn't cuddle Michael, I'd be fuming! I'd be wearing his clothes for the rest of the season. Even if they didn't fit.
In a way I think it's good splitting the launch show as sometimes it can be tedious. I wonder if there'll be another mole tomorrow? The only reason I'm pissy about it is because my boyfriend is working tomorrow so we can't watch it together, I know, heartbreaking, get your tiny violin out.
Right we're gonna do a podcast. I did enjoy it, you know! I like Emma! There will be blood. Ooh I just saw 5 mins of BOTS. I didn't expect AJ to speak like that, like Tess Daly. Rylan looks like he's struggling to keep his teeth in, bless him. I miss Jamie East! I never thought you'd hear me say that.
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
Big Brother 9: Le Grand Frere
Oh my God, we always used to call Big Brother Le Grand Frere! I love it when the show finally catches up with the lexicon (admittedly five years later).
I liked Luke all sick for some reason, he seemed quite cute. Don't tell anyone.
Mohamed's French/ German accent was hilarious. I think his and Rex's impressions were highly offensive, and thus, brilliant. Rex's joke about Mohamed's name was class. He sounded like Borat trying to speak French.
Becks! Is she mentally ill? She's certainly chronically unhealthy. Even I, sick as I am, could do cycling for twenty minutes without having an eppy.
Sarah has done NOTHING except flirt indiscriminately, which isn't offensive in itself, but it rather dull for the female viewer. Maysoon truly is deadwood.
Mikey's accent because even more horrible and ear-shredding when shouting. Do you know ANYONE who's a Mikey fan? He really is a prize cunt.
Belinda crying after 2 seconds cycling: 'My bum's red raw... it feels so weird... it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life!' What, exercise? Anyone would think you'd just been done up the arse by a dinosaur.
Mimes! Is there anything more dull? How apt that Rachel was doing it. She makes Mohamed look like he has the conversational skills of Oscar Wilde.
In other news, Rex has 'found himself'. Next step, burn that hoodie.
I liked Luke all sick for some reason, he seemed quite cute. Don't tell anyone.
Mohamed's French/ German accent was hilarious. I think his and Rex's impressions were highly offensive, and thus, brilliant. Rex's joke about Mohamed's name was class. He sounded like Borat trying to speak French.
Becks! Is she mentally ill? She's certainly chronically unhealthy. Even I, sick as I am, could do cycling for twenty minutes without having an eppy.
Sarah has done NOTHING except flirt indiscriminately, which isn't offensive in itself, but it rather dull for the female viewer. Maysoon truly is deadwood.
Mikey's accent because even more horrible and ear-shredding when shouting. Do you know ANYONE who's a Mikey fan? He really is a prize cunt.
Belinda crying after 2 seconds cycling: 'My bum's red raw... it feels so weird... it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life!' What, exercise? Anyone would think you'd just been done up the arse by a dinosaur.
Mimes! Is there anything more dull? How apt that Rachel was doing it. She makes Mohamed look like he has the conversational skills of Oscar Wilde.
In other news, Rex has 'found himself'. Next step, burn that hoodie.
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
Big Brother 9: Get Off The Fence
How interesting that the housemates complain about how awful it is to nominate, yet are willing to peel potatoes to be able to do it. Actually these housemates don't mither about nominating that much. And who could blame them. You'd want to nominate in bulk, wouldn't you?
Loved Lisa's story of seeing 'a green man'. A small, green man who was frightened of her and removed her tent for analysis. Barmy. She didn't react to them taking the piss at all. She's the alien in many ways. Did Belinda call Roswell Rock World, or did I have a complete brain spazz?
Darnell was right to nominate Rex in a way, he is being a dick. He just wants to go now. Walk then, Rex, you're not doing anyone a favour by staying, especially not your stupid orange girlfriend. Him bragging about money was crass. Zzzzz. PS. You look like a twat in that hat. And you ARE being mean.
Maysoon came off a bit prissy with her nominating. Becks is vulgar? No shit. At least she has a personality though. Same for Mohamed calling her vile. She is vile, but at least she provides some entertainment. I doubt if Mohamed's airtime even entertains his own family. Even him getting his leg stuck in the fence was dull as fuck.
So did they not let Luke nominate cos he was ill? Aw. I did miss Luke a bit tonight, and I thought I hated him.
Lisa. I don't know what the age is for not being allowed to have side ponytails (I'm still OK to have one, for example) but you're past it.
God, Rachel does sound boring, chick peas, grapes and her boyfriend, no wonder they never show her. It begs the question, why the fuck did the producers put her in? Retards.
Stuart! Scunt. Belinda does sound awful, interrogating people. And snoring. Get rid.
I thought it was bags of coke on the diary room chair but actually it was chips, which is considerably better. Rebecca looked like she might sob.
All the water fights and stuff is alright, but only if it ends in tears or someone being thrown out.
Tip for Rex: when someone goes 'you've got a wonderful life, why did you come in here?' try going 'my life isn't that great' rather than 'I've achieved all my goals so I wanted a break my life.' This level of arrogance is getting to slappable levels.
Oh and if you haven't read this, which I hadn't, due to internet laxness, you'd better, even though it's old. It's brill. He is so right about Mikey it hurts. Charlie, I love you.
Loved Lisa's story of seeing 'a green man'. A small, green man who was frightened of her and removed her tent for analysis. Barmy. She didn't react to them taking the piss at all. She's the alien in many ways. Did Belinda call Roswell Rock World, or did I have a complete brain spazz?
Darnell was right to nominate Rex in a way, he is being a dick. He just wants to go now. Walk then, Rex, you're not doing anyone a favour by staying, especially not your stupid orange girlfriend. Him bragging about money was crass. Zzzzz. PS. You look like a twat in that hat. And you ARE being mean.
Maysoon came off a bit prissy with her nominating. Becks is vulgar? No shit. At least she has a personality though. Same for Mohamed calling her vile. She is vile, but at least she provides some entertainment. I doubt if Mohamed's airtime even entertains his own family. Even him getting his leg stuck in the fence was dull as fuck.
So did they not let Luke nominate cos he was ill? Aw. I did miss Luke a bit tonight, and I thought I hated him.
Lisa. I don't know what the age is for not being allowed to have side ponytails (I'm still OK to have one, for example) but you're past it.
God, Rachel does sound boring, chick peas, grapes and her boyfriend, no wonder they never show her. It begs the question, why the fuck did the producers put her in? Retards.
Stuart! Scunt. Belinda does sound awful, interrogating people. And snoring. Get rid.
I thought it was bags of coke on the diary room chair but actually it was chips, which is considerably better. Rebecca looked like she might sob.
All the water fights and stuff is alright, but only if it ends in tears or someone being thrown out.
Tip for Rex: when someone goes 'you've got a wonderful life, why did you come in here?' try going 'my life isn't that great' rather than 'I've achieved all my goals so I wanted a break my life.' This level of arrogance is getting to slappable levels.
Oh and if you haven't read this, which I hadn't, due to internet laxness, you'd better, even though it's old. It's brill. He is so right about Mikey it hurts. Charlie, I love you.
Monday, 14 July 2008
Big Brother 9: Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
How does Dale know what 'election music' is? I doubt if Dale could spell 'election.' *insert erection joke here*
God I hate Mikey. The only reason you're awake in the day, Mikey, is because you go to bed at about 10pm at night. NOT FUN FOR THE LATE NIGHT VIEWER. You boring bastard. The sound of your voice is about as lovely as eating glass.
His whole hair in the ears theory was utter shite. I loved Rex riling him.
Darnell's surname is Swallow! That's quite funny. I also know from my Heat consumption that Stuart's surname is Pilkington. Sexy! Mohamed's surname is Mohamed! Tee hee.
Heaven and Hell task: I was a bit disappointed when Rex read 'imminently' as 'intermittently'. It's weird how you can go off someone, isn't it?
Darnell chose all the nice people (except Dale, who's a pillock). I wonder why he didn't chose Sarah? I normally don't like it when BB engineers storylines, but it was well needed at this point.
So, what did they get in said 'Heaven'? Filtered water! Whoop-de-doo!
Hell seemed like a bit of a trip hazard for old Mikey, bless him. It must be quite disconcerting to have his house cut on half. What would Mario say? (get over it!) Naughty BB.
It was funny when Rex got twitchy about Becks cooking. How quickly Heaven loses it's shine!
Darnell said HOH which made me pine for BBUSA. Come back broadband, I wanna watch it! I liked it when he said 'Yes Sir.' too. Sooo American. Darnell to win!
I was amused by Rebecca said she wished she'd gone to Magaluf with the girls instead of into BB. She's pretty much acted like she was in Magaluf anyway. Hmm, Rebecca, why can't you stand Mohamed? (racist!) I love calling people racist.
Mikey declared the angels 'looked like a bunch of twats'. Cue Daily Star headline that he can see again- no, he's just a sour cunt. Surely he'll never win it.
Rex looked quite creepy as an angel. I saw Rex in the NOTW getting a lap-dance! I went off him a bit then too.
Becks handled the whole task with the calm and reserve I expected from her (i.e. none). She's unbearable! I hope she gets chucked out, she's really a revolting person. Note: it's also probably not best to say the words 'I've resorted to sucking plasticine penis' on TV. That could come back to haunt you.
God I hate Mikey. The only reason you're awake in the day, Mikey, is because you go to bed at about 10pm at night. NOT FUN FOR THE LATE NIGHT VIEWER. You boring bastard. The sound of your voice is about as lovely as eating glass.
His whole hair in the ears theory was utter shite. I loved Rex riling him.
Darnell's surname is Swallow! That's quite funny. I also know from my Heat consumption that Stuart's surname is Pilkington. Sexy! Mohamed's surname is Mohamed! Tee hee.
Heaven and Hell task: I was a bit disappointed when Rex read 'imminently' as 'intermittently'. It's weird how you can go off someone, isn't it?
Darnell chose all the nice people (except Dale, who's a pillock). I wonder why he didn't chose Sarah? I normally don't like it when BB engineers storylines, but it was well needed at this point.
So, what did they get in said 'Heaven'? Filtered water! Whoop-de-doo!
Hell seemed like a bit of a trip hazard for old Mikey, bless him. It must be quite disconcerting to have his house cut on half. What would Mario say? (get over it!) Naughty BB.
It was funny when Rex got twitchy about Becks cooking. How quickly Heaven loses it's shine!
Darnell said HOH which made me pine for BBUSA. Come back broadband, I wanna watch it! I liked it when he said 'Yes Sir.' too. Sooo American. Darnell to win!
I was amused by Rebecca said she wished she'd gone to Magaluf with the girls instead of into BB. She's pretty much acted like she was in Magaluf anyway. Hmm, Rebecca, why can't you stand Mohamed? (racist!) I love calling people racist.
Mikey declared the angels 'looked like a bunch of twats'. Cue Daily Star headline that he can see again- no, he's just a sour cunt. Surely he'll never win it.
Rex looked quite creepy as an angel. I saw Rex in the NOTW getting a lap-dance! I went off him a bit then too.
Becks handled the whole task with the calm and reserve I expected from her (i.e. none). She's unbearable! I hope she gets chucked out, she's really a revolting person. Note: it's also probably not best to say the words 'I've resorted to sucking plasticine penis' on TV. That could come back to haunt you.
Sunday, 13 July 2008
Big Brother 9: Power Vacuum
My dial up died for three days! Nice. I can't believe Mario went. He shouldn't have been booed like that either. Thick British public! This is the makes-Dale-look-smart mindset that will vote Kat to win because of that tiresome cookie power bollocks. I thought Rebecca and Luke's snog was the closest we've got to REAL romance this year, so I was disappointed when she was all negative about it tonight in the diary room. Mind you, Luke was being a div saying they are a 'power couple'. It's funny that everyone thinks Becks is popular now on the outside. Being liked an iota more than another housemate does not a winner make. She's about as popular as mad cow disease.
I quite enjoyed the election task. Votes for head of house: what was Dale's policy going to be, scunts for everyone? Mouths must loll open at all times? Luke is quite a rubbish politician. He walks the walk, but he doesn't really talk it. Question him on any given point and he folds.
And yeah, that was about it. Pretty boring. We need less generic housemates (Stale, Maysood, Lisa, Mohamed, Rachel) and more characters (Luke, Darnell, Rex).
PS. Zezi wasn't on BBLB today. Did they finally bin her? Here's hoping.
I quite enjoyed the election task. Votes for head of house: what was Dale's policy going to be, scunts for everyone? Mouths must loll open at all times? Luke is quite a rubbish politician. He walks the walk, but he doesn't really talk it. Question him on any given point and he folds.
And yeah, that was about it. Pretty boring. We need less generic housemates (Stale, Maysood, Lisa, Mohamed, Rachel) and more characters (Luke, Darnell, Rex).
PS. Zezi wasn't on BBLB today. Did they finally bin her? Here's hoping.
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
Big Brother 9: Health and Safety
I hate Belinda. Although, Mario is becoming a monster again. Why was he being so narky to her? He destroyed the magic by making her explain her fake eccentricities.
Mario ALMOST said 'trip hazard' tonight: my heart pounded when he told the story of the elastic band.
Mikey: your chances with Sara are.. zero. Why is she even encouraging him?
I'm glad Rebecca has been knocked off her perch. I enjoyed Rex singing 'Goodnight sweetheart' to her.
Mario sniping at Lisa (the Housemaid!) What the fuck? Why is he calling her out for cleaning up? How is it 'sickening'? What a dick. I wouldn't ever make him a cuppa again. He's seriously paranoid. She hasn't changed one iota since she entered that house. I knew there must be cracks somewhere! And here they are, exposed. Lisa was very astute that Mario picked on her because he was annoyed that he was unpopular. Mario descended into a spiral of black, bitter depression!
How interesting that Mikey pulled up Belinda for patronising him for being blind. He's never, ever done it to Mario. Why? Does he genuinely like Mario, I wonder? I've never considered it.
Belinda was desperate for some love tonight, wasn't she, and getting none!
Chick-pea and Cookie! What cunning nicknames. I wonder who they could be?
BB: technically not much more ineresting that the live feed tonight. Must try harder.
Mario ALMOST said 'trip hazard' tonight: my heart pounded when he told the story of the elastic band.
Mikey: your chances with Sara are.. zero. Why is she even encouraging him?
I'm glad Rebecca has been knocked off her perch. I enjoyed Rex singing 'Goodnight sweetheart' to her.
Mario sniping at Lisa (the Housemaid!) What the fuck? Why is he calling her out for cleaning up? How is it 'sickening'? What a dick. I wouldn't ever make him a cuppa again. He's seriously paranoid. She hasn't changed one iota since she entered that house. I knew there must be cracks somewhere! And here they are, exposed. Lisa was very astute that Mario picked on her because he was annoyed that he was unpopular. Mario descended into a spiral of black, bitter depression!
How interesting that Mikey pulled up Belinda for patronising him for being blind. He's never, ever done it to Mario. Why? Does he genuinely like Mario, I wonder? I've never considered it.
Belinda was desperate for some love tonight, wasn't she, and getting none!
Chick-pea and Cookie! What cunning nicknames. I wonder who they could be?
BB: technically not much more ineresting that the live feed tonight. Must try harder.
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
Big Brother 9: 'Be the man that you look'
Oooh Mario and Lisa had an argument! But it was a bit of a lame one. Still, we have to take what we can get in this post-bitches entertainment dearth. Lisa's mask of non-annoyance was freaky.
Luke is intimidated by the way Darnell speaks? I've never heard Darnell say anything dubious. Darnell stands up for what's right. Luke on the other hand, despite not swearing because he's so morally upstanding, is a devious little cuntrag.
Mario looks like the sort of man who was born to wear a comedy apron. And he nominated my two favourite housemates.
So now all the old housemates have turned on the newbies. Wow, I didn't see THAT coming. Belinda's snoring was beyond the pale though, totally gross. I'd poke her with a stick. her singing/acting is just horrific too.She reminds me (to a much lesser extent) of that awful Jayne person they put in there once, who just hogged the camera all the time. Don't just be a cartoon, be a human.
Dale! Head in the make-up box again! That makes a change doesn't it? (GAY!)
Kat saying she's bisexual... zzz. Kat and Sarah are about as likely to get together as Luke and Darnell.
I was a bit worried Darnell would be up this week, but it looks like it's Rebecca's time to chip. See ya.
Confession: my hearts not in this at the moment. But I think it's BB's fault, not mine. If I'm not back on form within the week, slap me.
Luke is intimidated by the way Darnell speaks? I've never heard Darnell say anything dubious. Darnell stands up for what's right. Luke on the other hand, despite not swearing because he's so morally upstanding, is a devious little cuntrag.
Mario looks like the sort of man who was born to wear a comedy apron. And he nominated my two favourite housemates.
So now all the old housemates have turned on the newbies. Wow, I didn't see THAT coming. Belinda's snoring was beyond the pale though, totally gross. I'd poke her with a stick. her singing/acting is just horrific too.She reminds me (to a much lesser extent) of that awful Jayne person they put in there once, who just hogged the camera all the time. Don't just be a cartoon, be a human.
Dale! Head in the make-up box again! That makes a change doesn't it? (GAY!)
Kat saying she's bisexual... zzz. Kat and Sarah are about as likely to get together as Luke and Darnell.
I was a bit worried Darnell would be up this week, but it looks like it's Rebecca's time to chip. See ya.
Confession: my hearts not in this at the moment. But I think it's BB's fault, not mine. If I'm not back on form within the week, slap me.
Monday, 7 July 2008
Big Brother 9: Insert Title Here
Hello, is anybody there? Please come back, my three readers. I've missed you.
Guess who's back? Back again. I am, if you count frigging dial-up, which I don't. No broadband, no Sky, I may as well be DEAD. Don't even mention the Freeview box, or the Wireless Festival, because both have proved faulty (but I did take a cheeky pic of Russell Brand whilst watching Mozzy).
So, what have I missed? Jen, gone! Hurrah. New housemates! I missed an episode (shock!) but Sarah seems like a normal human being, and a genuine beauty unlike Jen. Maysoon- not sure yet, but seems OK. Belinda, Belinda, Belinda: fake like every luvvie I've ever known. Luke and Rebecca: getting even uglier personalities in the absence of their leader.
I thought tonights BB was utterly dull. Stuart had a cry- so what? You're not being 'portrayed' a certain way: you're just an utter prink. You can't help it, I suspect you were just born that way. Bad news for you, worse news for us viewers. Belinda's faux crying was quite embarrassing and Stuart fishing for how the outside feel about him was pathetic. They should just fly a plane over saying 'Stu = Twat'- that'd clear it up nicely.
Dale moaning about them putting make up on: he's normally first in the queue for the mascara.
Even the paper bags didn't amuse me. Sob. I hope Rex and Sarah have sex or something.
But the weird thing was: last night the live feed was cut for hours, and there were talks of a bomb scare/ drugs bust. Yet it wasn't mentioned at all. What's the deal? I demand answers, or I'll presume the cameras had to turn away due to Mario and Lisa shagging on the kitchen table whilst the others stood round chanting. And that can't be right.
Guess who's back? Back again. I am, if you count frigging dial-up, which I don't. No broadband, no Sky, I may as well be DEAD. Don't even mention the Freeview box, or the Wireless Festival, because both have proved faulty (but I did take a cheeky pic of Russell Brand whilst watching Mozzy).
So, what have I missed? Jen, gone! Hurrah. New housemates! I missed an episode (shock!) but Sarah seems like a normal human being, and a genuine beauty unlike Jen. Maysoon- not sure yet, but seems OK. Belinda, Belinda, Belinda: fake like every luvvie I've ever known. Luke and Rebecca: getting even uglier personalities in the absence of their leader.
I thought tonights BB was utterly dull. Stuart had a cry- so what? You're not being 'portrayed' a certain way: you're just an utter prink. You can't help it, I suspect you were just born that way. Bad news for you, worse news for us viewers. Belinda's faux crying was quite embarrassing and Stuart fishing for how the outside feel about him was pathetic. They should just fly a plane over saying 'Stu = Twat'- that'd clear it up nicely.
Dale moaning about them putting make up on: he's normally first in the queue for the mascara.
Even the paper bags didn't amuse me. Sob. I hope Rex and Sarah have sex or something.
But the weird thing was: last night the live feed was cut for hours, and there were talks of a bomb scare/ drugs bust. Yet it wasn't mentioned at all. What's the deal? I demand answers, or I'll presume the cameras had to turn away due to Mario and Lisa shagging on the kitchen table whilst the others stood round chanting. And that can't be right.
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Big Brother 9: 'He's going to have to live with that'
Jen on Rachel: 'She smiles constantly.' That fucking sly cow, smiling! How dare she? Well done Jen for voting out the nicest people in the house. Are you thick as well as a cunt? Vote tactically, stupid. I was pleased Luke was barred from voting, although I didn't think he was talking about nominations... or was he? I thought he was just being a sarky bastard.
Rebecca stripping off mid-afternoon! Bloody hell. Does she need a new trick, or what? The imprint on the glass was funny though. Loved Lisa's nominating, especially as she voted for the enemy lines. Mario's voting for Rex was hilarious. But why did Mario vote for the goodies? TRIP HAZARD!
I think Luke might be talking bollocks- 'if you have been to jail you're not allowed to vote.' That sounds like rubbish to me. When you're in jail, yeah, but not after. You don't get branded for life and made to wear stripey pyjamas.
The way Rebecca went off on Mohamed was disgusting. She needs an ASBO slapping on her. Rex: 'That bitch is crazy.' Correct. Her hair is looking proper Grotbags-stylee now. I can't believe she cut Mo's belt in half. That's criminal damage! Imagine if he did that to something of hers? I'd knock her out for considerably less. Did Alex bite Sylvia and give her cunt-disease and then Sylvia bit Rebecca on the way out, because Rebecca never used to be like this. She'll be thrown out next (I certainly hope). I can only conclude... racist!
WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT REBECCA TO DESTROY SOMEONE'S PROPERTY? You fucking div. Why doesn't someone else stand up to her? Rex calling her a disgusting monster behind her back is one thing but someone needs to call her out. I can't believe Rex
doesn't stand up for Mo more.
Rebecca a size 12? Where does she buy her clothes, La-La Land?
And that's it from me! I'm surrounded by boxes and off to live in a shoebox on my own. When I will be back will depend on BT, a cheap broadband provider and maybe a grotty internet cafe if I get desperate and it all kicks off. See you soon!
Rebecca stripping off mid-afternoon! Bloody hell. Does she need a new trick, or what? The imprint on the glass was funny though. Loved Lisa's nominating, especially as she voted for the enemy lines. Mario's voting for Rex was hilarious. But why did Mario vote for the goodies? TRIP HAZARD!
I think Luke might be talking bollocks- 'if you have been to jail you're not allowed to vote.' That sounds like rubbish to me. When you're in jail, yeah, but not after. You don't get branded for life and made to wear stripey pyjamas.
The way Rebecca went off on Mohamed was disgusting. She needs an ASBO slapping on her. Rex: 'That bitch is crazy.' Correct. Her hair is looking proper Grotbags-stylee now. I can't believe she cut Mo's belt in half. That's criminal damage! Imagine if he did that to something of hers? I'd knock her out for considerably less. Did Alex bite Sylvia and give her cunt-disease and then Sylvia bit Rebecca on the way out, because Rebecca never used to be like this. She'll be thrown out next (I certainly hope). I can only conclude... racist!
WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT REBECCA TO DESTROY SOMEONE'S PROPERTY? You fucking div. Why doesn't someone else stand up to her? Rex calling her a disgusting monster behind her back is one thing but someone needs to call her out. I can't believe Rex
doesn't stand up for Mo more.
Rebecca a size 12? Where does she buy her clothes, La-La Land?
And that's it from me! I'm surrounded by boxes and off to live in a shoebox on my own. When I will be back will depend on BT, a cheap broadband provider and maybe a grotty internet cafe if I get desperate and it all kicks off. See you soon!
Monday, 30 June 2008
Big Brother 9: She Looks Like Snow White
Luke, I think you're getting her confused with the Wicked Witch! So that's three guys who fancy Princess Manky Teeth now.. I had an unfortunate filling-full trip to the dentist today, so there's hope for me yet.
Mario blaming Jen for Dennis going: class!
Mikey paired people off in a cruel and unusual manner: well done! They should have done that task weeks ago. The housemates are so totally inconsiderate to his disability: except Mario who just wants to put police tape around all the trip hazards. Trip hazards! If Mario says the phrase 'trip hazard' I'll die happy.
What IS that thing with the towel that Lisa and Mario (and now Stuart) do in the garden?
Mario's diary room speech was top dollar. His sincerity floors me. He must truly believe the viewers are as attentive and doe-eyed to his spiel as Lisa. Mohamed: now only has a personality via his hairstyle.
Dale: 'Mikey, you have dreams and stuff?' Yes, he is a human, Dale. I was interested in Mikey talking about his blindness, normally he's just shuffling around forgotten.
Loving Darnell still. Loving his honesty. Aw, he wants to be someone's favourite. Rex and Rex! Haha. It was great what he said about Jen: thank god someone sees through it.
Lisa and Mario are soooo weird, I can't believe they met on Ebay, they seem made for each other. Imagine if they'd never met? They would have been lost, lonely robots. They do seem like 'soul mates' *shudder*.
Watching them eat blindfolded was truly gross. I can't stand watching people eat anyway. Mo was being really strange and OTT.
Rebecca: 'I even wish Alex was still here.' CHRIST! Your judgement is awful, love. 'All the fun people have gone.' What, Dennis and Sylvia? I find the best way to get the party started is to sexually harrass someone then gob in their face, don't you?
Rebecca is SUCH an exhibitionist getting naked! I have a grudging respect for her in a way that she's proud of her body. But she's still supremely irritating.
Beardy Brian Molko and Jen rubbing Dale's nose in it was funny. Keep pushing him and he might lamp someone because he's too inarticulate to argue his case. It's like watching a fly banging it's head against a window. All you need is love! Or nailing.
Mario blaming Jen for Dennis going: class!
Mikey paired people off in a cruel and unusual manner: well done! They should have done that task weeks ago. The housemates are so totally inconsiderate to his disability: except Mario who just wants to put police tape around all the trip hazards. Trip hazards! If Mario says the phrase 'trip hazard' I'll die happy.
What IS that thing with the towel that Lisa and Mario (and now Stuart) do in the garden?
Mario's diary room speech was top dollar. His sincerity floors me. He must truly believe the viewers are as attentive and doe-eyed to his spiel as Lisa. Mohamed: now only has a personality via his hairstyle.
Dale: 'Mikey, you have dreams and stuff?' Yes, he is a human, Dale. I was interested in Mikey talking about his blindness, normally he's just shuffling around forgotten.
Loving Darnell still. Loving his honesty. Aw, he wants to be someone's favourite. Rex and Rex! Haha. It was great what he said about Jen: thank god someone sees through it.
Lisa and Mario are soooo weird, I can't believe they met on Ebay, they seem made for each other. Imagine if they'd never met? They would have been lost, lonely robots. They do seem like 'soul mates' *shudder*.
Watching them eat blindfolded was truly gross. I can't stand watching people eat anyway. Mo was being really strange and OTT.
Rebecca: 'I even wish Alex was still here.' CHRIST! Your judgement is awful, love. 'All the fun people have gone.' What, Dennis and Sylvia? I find the best way to get the party started is to sexually harrass someone then gob in their face, don't you?
Rebecca is SUCH an exhibitionist getting naked! I have a grudging respect for her in a way that she's proud of her body. But she's still supremely irritating.
Beardy Brian Molko and Jen rubbing Dale's nose in it was funny. Keep pushing him and he might lamp someone because he's too inarticulate to argue his case. It's like watching a fly banging it's head against a window. All you need is love! Or nailing.
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Big Brother 9: Keep It Really, Really Real
There was something extremely creepy about Jen and Luke's conversation about Rachel's 'dark side' against that backdrop of slightly frantic classical music. Surely it becoming like 'The Waltons' is a good thing for the housemates (if not the viewers?) Don't they WANT to get on?
Luke is becoming increasingly paranoid and spiky, with Team Cunt on his side. I can't stand fence-sitters either as a rule, but Kat and Rachel don't deserve that level of vitriol. I was pleased when Kat challenged him, he's getting completely out of control.
Rebecca is also being very annoying too; now she has what she sees as the cool kids on side she's becoming too big for her boots. But if the doors jammed and everyone on earth died outside the BB house, and they ran out of food and had to eat a housemate, you can guarantee it'd be you first, love. I'd put money on it.
As for the other happy house haters: if Jen was stuck in the house with the Dalai Lama she'd be calling him fake and slagging off his dress sense after five minutes. The 'whole Rachel situation- we can't take anymore of the incessant happiness.' I know, what is Rachel going to do next? Make them a cup of tea? Hang up their washing? FUCKING BITCH!
I enjoyed Rex basically calling Becks fat, because she is being a moron. I like his arrogance! I think his views reflect the views of any sane viewer. I like the fact he doesn't really rise to it, then when he does, he is considered Satan. He cannot win.
Jen: 'stop being happy, be yourself instead.' But by being YOURSELF, Jen, you are a sour-faced, miserable, nasty, uptight, deluded dimwit. So, why not be someone else? Surely anything else would be preferable. Good on Rachel for speaking out, as much as she could.
Rebecca was looking increasingly thick as the show went on and she went into full-on Vicky Pollard mode. She was barking at the moon because she didn't have a leg to stand on, but felt aggrieved anyway and started on Kat. Darnell took her down again in his own inimitable way, until he got mega-mouthed into the ground.
I hope Rex doesn't walk, the producers would be insane to let him. New intelligent blood desperately needed.
Luke is becoming increasingly paranoid and spiky, with Team Cunt on his side. I can't stand fence-sitters either as a rule, but Kat and Rachel don't deserve that level of vitriol. I was pleased when Kat challenged him, he's getting completely out of control.
Rebecca is also being very annoying too; now she has what she sees as the cool kids on side she's becoming too big for her boots. But if the doors jammed and everyone on earth died outside the BB house, and they ran out of food and had to eat a housemate, you can guarantee it'd be you first, love. I'd put money on it.
As for the other happy house haters: if Jen was stuck in the house with the Dalai Lama she'd be calling him fake and slagging off his dress sense after five minutes. The 'whole Rachel situation- we can't take anymore of the incessant happiness.' I know, what is Rachel going to do next? Make them a cup of tea? Hang up their washing? FUCKING BITCH!
I enjoyed Rex basically calling Becks fat, because she is being a moron. I like his arrogance! I think his views reflect the views of any sane viewer. I like the fact he doesn't really rise to it, then when he does, he is considered Satan. He cannot win.
Jen: 'stop being happy, be yourself instead.' But by being YOURSELF, Jen, you are a sour-faced, miserable, nasty, uptight, deluded dimwit. So, why not be someone else? Surely anything else would be preferable. Good on Rachel for speaking out, as much as she could.
Rebecca was looking increasingly thick as the show went on and she went into full-on Vicky Pollard mode. She was barking at the moon because she didn't have a leg to stand on, but felt aggrieved anyway and started on Kat. Darnell took her down again in his own inimitable way, until he got mega-mouthed into the ground.
I hope Rex doesn't walk, the producers would be insane to let him. New intelligent blood desperately needed.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
Big Brother 9: Aftermath
Best pics ever! Sylvia: 'Dennis was only trying to help.' I often find spitting on someone's face can resolve a sticky situation, don't you? In fact, that was the first trick they taught us in counselling school. Jen and Sylvia crying was absolutely hysterical. Jen thinks she's untouchable now. Little does she know.
Luke: 'The public will kick out Mo tonight, Dennis was just trying to diffuse the situation.' Luke: you hitched your bandwagon to a poisoned star and now you must pay the price, you nasty little shit. My love affair with you is OVER.
Words cannot explain how much I hate Jen, and how keen I am to see her get her comeuppance. How dare she challenge Darnell about what he did. He did so well just not to rise to it at all. How can they just not acknowledge that Mohamed was ASSAULTED? Spitting on someone is common assault. Darnell: 'When we hit the streets we'll see who the vile people are.' Correct. Loved Darnell calling Sylvia and Jen unexciting in front of Dale.
Jen: 'Dennis did whatever came natural.' It's not natural to spit on someone. That takes conscious thought. That would not come naturally EVER to someone of strong moral fibre. And I'm a right rock n' roll rebel and it would never occur to me to do that to my worst enemy.
Loved BB telling Stuart and Dale that Rex had already apologised. Dealt with! Dale: you're thick as shit. I've seen more intelligent Hollyoaks plots (I haven't really... as if I'd watch that bollocks)
Love Mario again now. Except his nominations talk which was exceedingly stupid. When will they learn!!!
Watching Dale in his pink scunt straightening Luke's hair was the antithesis of sexy. I like men hairy, dirty and scruffy. Oh my God, then Dale put on a cravat for the eviction. Awful fashion sense does not take the place of IQ, gormy.
Kat annoyed me telling Rex off for being arrogant. Better arrogant than fake and utterly one-dimensional.
Other thoughts: The song Cookie Love is oddly addictive. Why was Lisa shaving her 'tache? And who enjoyed the chocolate earhole licking more, Becks or Luke?
Friday, 27 June 2008
Big Brother 9: 'Would you do that to a Monet?'
Bloody hell! All that excitement nearly gave me a cardiac arrest. It was loads better than I expected. Syliva's night was stolen somewhat.
I loved Darnell bullshitting Rebecca that he fancies her! Rebecca was wearing my cardie as well. I used to not like that, but now I'll allow it. She didn't look very impressed with his seduction technique.
Fight night! Jennifer's egotism knows no bounds: 'you wouldn't be able to do that in an art gallery.' For fuck's sake Jen, it was a doodle of beardy tosspot Stuart, get the fuck over it, you dopey cow. Grow up! I love hearing Rex speak, he's got a sexy voice and I'm becoming quite partial to his nose. His insincere apology ruled. I love the fact it was all sorted then Dale came in like a caveman. What a prick. I wouldn't mind but Jen was utterly in the wrong, and Stale (Stuart & Dale) just pushed their way in like the thickest kind of retards. Stale is Jen's ideal man! (I'm copyrighting Stale, btw).
Jen- 'I would never put my fingers in his food!' I hate her more than anyone on the planet, genuinely. I'm glad she lost Dennis because of it, it was utterly just. What was with Stuart as well, getting all involved? God, don't upset Princess Manky Teeth. Don't fuck with her 'masterpiece'! Masterpiece!!! She actually SAID THAT. Rex DID apologise. Shut up!
Oh my God, I can't believe what happened. I sincerely hope someone spits in Dennis's face in the street, the evil little cunt. Mohamed and Rex were both completely bullied. It was like ten against two. Where was Mario when you needed him? He didn't risk assess the gob in the face, did he?
Thank GOD Darnell spoke the truth. I literally cannot BELIEVE people were still going on about that fucking painting after Dennis SPIT in Mohamed's face. That was truly horrific. Darnell went up in my estimation a BILLION percent, I loved the fact he was so angry about it, I would have been exactly the same. He was a true hero. It doesn't matter the whys and wherefores. Also, Mohamed did NOT square up to a girl. I HATE DALE! They are just racist as far as I'm concerned. Mohamed did nothing. Stuart, Dale, Jennifer, Rebecca: scum.
They were definitely drunk, but it's no excuse. I was pleased to hear Dennis still had his dignity, there was I thinking he was a rancid, disgusting little troll. Mohamed crying and washing his face was awful, if someone spat in my face I'd feel absolutely violated, and I don't use that word lightly.
All the people in that luxury bedroom are complete spineless wankers for not calling Dennis out on his revolting behaviour. I will not forget. Dennis should have been kicked out then and there. Disgraceful.
Darnell: 'I really thought Becks was going to put out tonight.' Love it.
Sylvia's interview: fairly superfluous to requirements- probably the most interesting part was the live feed at the end: Luke saying 'If they evicted Sylvia none of us have a chance.' And Jen replying 'How could anyone evict that body?' Because, shit-for-brains, it's not Britain's Next Top Model, it's Big Brother and we require either a brain or a serious personality disorder in our winner, and you don't even have a brain cell, or a personality. I'd predict you'd feel intellectually threatened by an amoeba, but actually, you find two of them sexually attractive. Poor you (and them).
I loved Darnell bullshitting Rebecca that he fancies her! Rebecca was wearing my cardie as well. I used to not like that, but now I'll allow it. She didn't look very impressed with his seduction technique.
Fight night! Jennifer's egotism knows no bounds: 'you wouldn't be able to do that in an art gallery.' For fuck's sake Jen, it was a doodle of beardy tosspot Stuart, get the fuck over it, you dopey cow. Grow up! I love hearing Rex speak, he's got a sexy voice and I'm becoming quite partial to his nose. His insincere apology ruled. I love the fact it was all sorted then Dale came in like a caveman. What a prick. I wouldn't mind but Jen was utterly in the wrong, and Stale (Stuart & Dale) just pushed their way in like the thickest kind of retards. Stale is Jen's ideal man! (I'm copyrighting Stale, btw).
Jen- 'I would never put my fingers in his food!' I hate her more than anyone on the planet, genuinely. I'm glad she lost Dennis because of it, it was utterly just. What was with Stuart as well, getting all involved? God, don't upset Princess Manky Teeth. Don't fuck with her 'masterpiece'! Masterpiece!!! She actually SAID THAT. Rex DID apologise. Shut up!
Oh my God, I can't believe what happened. I sincerely hope someone spits in Dennis's face in the street, the evil little cunt. Mohamed and Rex were both completely bullied. It was like ten against two. Where was Mario when you needed him? He didn't risk assess the gob in the face, did he?
Thank GOD Darnell spoke the truth. I literally cannot BELIEVE people were still going on about that fucking painting after Dennis SPIT in Mohamed's face. That was truly horrific. Darnell went up in my estimation a BILLION percent, I loved the fact he was so angry about it, I would have been exactly the same. He was a true hero. It doesn't matter the whys and wherefores. Also, Mohamed did NOT square up to a girl. I HATE DALE! They are just racist as far as I'm concerned. Mohamed did nothing. Stuart, Dale, Jennifer, Rebecca: scum.
They were definitely drunk, but it's no excuse. I was pleased to hear Dennis still had his dignity, there was I thinking he was a rancid, disgusting little troll. Mohamed crying and washing his face was awful, if someone spat in my face I'd feel absolutely violated, and I don't use that word lightly.
All the people in that luxury bedroom are complete spineless wankers for not calling Dennis out on his revolting behaviour. I will not forget. Dennis should have been kicked out then and there. Disgraceful.
Darnell: 'I really thought Becks was going to put out tonight.' Love it.
Sylvia's interview: fairly superfluous to requirements- probably the most interesting part was the live feed at the end: Luke saying 'If they evicted Sylvia none of us have a chance.' And Jen replying 'How could anyone evict that body?' Because, shit-for-brains, it's not Britain's Next Top Model, it's Big Brother and we require either a brain or a serious personality disorder in our winner, and you don't even have a brain cell, or a personality. I'd predict you'd feel intellectually threatened by an amoeba, but actually, you find two of them sexually attractive. Poor you (and them).
Big Brother 9: There Was No Day 14
Sorry I didn’t get a chance to blog this last night but it was too late. I was going to skip it all together but there are things that need to be said! Like, what has Rebecca done to her hair, it looks like a fright wig. I still like her though and I liked her being proud of her arse. Its not like Luke has exactly got a body beautiful, is it?
It was a bit naughty when BB told Luke why it had sent Dennis and Darnell to prison, BB of old would never have done such a thing. Good, though. As it was D&D got away with it, because they are a bit cheeky. I thought they were good fun in the prison, a proper odd couple.
I thought the OK Go dance routine was brilliant, it was a feel-good episode of BB. I can think of several series past where they would not have had the discipline to do that. I loved the ‘Oxfam’ clothes as well, I like it when they indie them up. Stuart looked like a gay sailor. Dale did look smouldering with smoky eyeliner (except when his mouth lolls open like a stroke victim) and I loved Rex in his make up and indie gear. I can’t believe he called it stupid whilst wondering round with that tidal wave hairdo and so-designer-he-looks-like-he-got-it-off-the-market hoodie. Sylvia looked good as an indie chick too.
It was nice to see them all getting on, well until the end. I don’t think Sylvia really had designs on Dale, she was only kidding in her own bizarre way (like the joke with Luke… so funny I forgot to laugh!) Jen is so up her own arse! BB, please play Dale’s ‘If there’s any fanny in there, I’m going to nail it’ video. I’d pay good money to see Jen’s face.
It was a bit naughty when BB told Luke why it had sent Dennis and Darnell to prison, BB of old would never have done such a thing. Good, though. As it was D&D got away with it, because they are a bit cheeky. I thought they were good fun in the prison, a proper odd couple.
I thought the OK Go dance routine was brilliant, it was a feel-good episode of BB. I can think of several series past where they would not have had the discipline to do that. I loved the ‘Oxfam’ clothes as well, I like it when they indie them up. Stuart looked like a gay sailor. Dale did look smouldering with smoky eyeliner (except when his mouth lolls open like a stroke victim) and I loved Rex in his make up and indie gear. I can’t believe he called it stupid whilst wondering round with that tidal wave hairdo and so-designer-he-looks-like-he-got-it-off-the-market hoodie. Sylvia looked good as an indie chick too.
It was nice to see them all getting on, well until the end. I don’t think Sylvia really had designs on Dale, she was only kidding in her own bizarre way (like the joke with Luke… so funny I forgot to laugh!) Jen is so up her own arse! BB, please play Dale’s ‘If there’s any fanny in there, I’m going to nail it’ video. I’d pay good money to see Jen’s face.
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
Big Brother 9: Free Mandela (Do Not Pass Go)
Luke! I'm sick of you. Maybe Kat is annoying but maybe she just is nice as well. Maybe Rachel just is too. I like Rex and Mohamed. I'd rather be stuck in prison with them than any of the others. It's every man for themselves in that house.
Poor Mo, he's definitely depressed. I loved Rex's poor attempt at comforting him. Banged up with a crying man. Never good. I can't believe BB kept them in prison that long. Cruel! Battery-farmed housemates.
What modelling agency did Jen go to? Was it a specialist agency for people who were too poor to get braces when they were kids? She looked like that woman off 10 Years Younger in that stupid outfit. If that's sexy God help humankind. Her friendship with Sylvia is so disingenuous that if you breathed on it, it'd crumble.
That was interesting that Rachel said about getting friction burn on her thighs, because Rebecca went in the diary room and moaned about that the other day! I get that too. It's the fat person's curse. But fuck diets, that's what they invented leggings for *eats crispy strips*. They were mean not letting Rebecca do the task. What she lacks in physique, she makes up for in enthusiasm. Mario completely unbiasedly appointed Lisa as the make-up girl. Well if everyone wants to look like a red indian, it was the perfect choice. Love Darnell standing up for Becky. They are the misfits of the house.
Rex vs Dale: Rex made Dale look pathetic, which he is. But fair play to Dale for apologising (and having a sneaky feel of Rex's willy- he's not helping those bi rumours, is he?)
Rachel is SUCH a girl scout. What a fuss she made about that injury. Rebecca's hiding under the bed was funny.
Nominations chat! Stupidio! Dennis is such a dolt. Sylvia: you are going home, and the water thing has been done. See ya.
Tonights 'shut the fuck up' award goes jointly to Mario and Jen- what a pair of cunts. Risk assess my middle finger, Mario.
Poor Mo, he's definitely depressed. I loved Rex's poor attempt at comforting him. Banged up with a crying man. Never good. I can't believe BB kept them in prison that long. Cruel! Battery-farmed housemates.
What modelling agency did Jen go to? Was it a specialist agency for people who were too poor to get braces when they were kids? She looked like that woman off 10 Years Younger in that stupid outfit. If that's sexy God help humankind. Her friendship with Sylvia is so disingenuous that if you breathed on it, it'd crumble.
That was interesting that Rachel said about getting friction burn on her thighs, because Rebecca went in the diary room and moaned about that the other day! I get that too. It's the fat person's curse. But fuck diets, that's what they invented leggings for *eats crispy strips*. They were mean not letting Rebecca do the task. What she lacks in physique, she makes up for in enthusiasm. Mario completely unbiasedly appointed Lisa as the make-up girl. Well if everyone wants to look like a red indian, it was the perfect choice. Love Darnell standing up for Becky. They are the misfits of the house.
Rex vs Dale: Rex made Dale look pathetic, which he is. But fair play to Dale for apologising (and having a sneaky feel of Rex's willy- he's not helping those bi rumours, is he?)
Rachel is SUCH a girl scout. What a fuss she made about that injury. Rebecca's hiding under the bed was funny.
Nominations chat! Stupidio! Dennis is such a dolt. Sylvia: you are going home, and the water thing has been done. See ya.
Tonights 'shut the fuck up' award goes jointly to Mario and Jen- what a pair of cunts. Risk assess my middle finger, Mario.
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