Well Big Brother USA has NOT disappointed this year (hope I can say the same for the UK one when it drops on Five next week).
If you're not watching it yet, step away from my blog, and go fucking watch Big Brother USA season 13. Seriously. It will be the best TV decision you've made since Breaking Bad. And you have a whole 12 other seasons to watch, too.
OK, have they gone? Now let's us in the know talk business.
This week in particular saw Rachel crawl back from the dead, and somehow drag Brendon back with her. My friend JOTV doesn't think Brendan would get 1 million votes. Are you joking? Watching that relationship is my main reason for watching it! I can see how it would drive others mad, of course. But I love it. I love seeing the powerplay, and just the cracks and chinks of how relationships are (but particularly theirs!) At least it's real. I'm not even convinced Jess and Jordan fuck. They are more like brother and sister. And Jeff, you homophobic cunt, if you said shit like that in the UK Big Brother you'd be out the door quicker than you can say 'Ignoramus'. I can't believe the others sat round and let him get away with saying that all gays are basically peados. Plus, Dumbledore is a fictional character, but I'm not sure Jeff is aware of this. One day he'll realise that it's only going out with Jordan (who told a story on live feed the other day about shitting her pants on the bus) that makes him look even slightly intelligent. Otherwise he's just a thick patronising prick.
What I will say though, is I liked it when Jordan finally showed her teeth this week and got angry. And who can blame her! I warmed to her a lot more after that.
Some of the most insane gameplay I've ever seen in my life took place this week. Kalia, on a desperate damage limitation exercise, not only cancelled the last two weeks evictions out, but also got one of her own (her former partner, let's not forget) Lawon evicted.
Personally I couldn't be happier that Lawon has gone. He's one of those bodies in there just clogging up the place (yes, Adam, just like you) and doing nothing. His diary room 'antics' are contrived and the only interesting thing he ever said in the house was when he recounted a tale of his granny saying 'if you're going to be gay, be the best damn gay you can be.' Granny seemed to have a lot more sense that Lawon, who decided to take up a kamikaze mission of offering himself up for eviction, with the mistaken believe that 'whoever leaves is coming back in with a magic power'. This was something Lawon basically made up in his head. My boyfriend was so shocked by his stupidity he thinks BB must have paid him off to act that way. But no. Lawon is just 100% moron. Glad he's gone, he was quite literally a waste of a housemate.
So it's always nice to get a 'floater' out, and paticularly nice when they set themselves up for it. I hope Porsche follows soon, an unfriendly robot with boobs, who hasn't done a damn thing for any of her supposed 'allies' in there, and the second it looked like Rachel was drowning virtually pushed her further out to sea. I don't know why they cast her, as she's not attractive, and she has no personality. She makes Danielle look like a nice person.
The person I was most shocked by was probably Danielle, supposedly a mastermind of the game, she did a sheep vote for one of the stupidest decisions ever made in the house. Didn't she learn her lesson on that from her own time in the house? Kalia was so desperate to step out from Danielle's shadow that she turned a great big target-shaped spotlight on both of them. Good work! Go team. They are FUCKED. And JOTV, Danielle doesn't try and influence people's decisions on how to vote? It's her hardballing those (bad) decisions that have got her into the unholy mess she's in now.
So does this mean Rachel will be running with open arms to Kalia and Danielle next week? Does it fuck! Kalia has completely wasted her week as Head of Household (HOH), and now Jeff, Jordan, Rachel and Brendon are going to be kicking some arse. Does Kalia really think she got away with it? After the way Jeff went off at her? She must be either stupid or mental, and I can't tell which, but they are not so much gunning for her as punching in the code on the nuclear bomb.
This has been a dream week in the Big Brother house, when the impossible becomes possible and all the cards fall into the right place. We watched the three episodes basically in a row (as we only get to watch it at weekends) and I can honestly say, my heart was racing the whole way through. This is the most exciting show on TV, the most outrageous drama, just brilliantly crafted for maximum enjoyment. I still have much respect for the way they always do the HOH competition after the eviction interview so you always know who's going to be running the show next week. The whole format is just brilliant, everything we do wrong with our BB, they do right with theirs.
And the cliches are true! This game does turn on a dime. Rachel looked defeated, but she's back. Rachel is my favourite person in there by a country mile, she's gorgeous, quirky, funny, honest, crazy, fucked up, childish, utterly flawed. And she just feels real to me. She really doesn't understand why others don't like her. But I do. Because they don't dare to be as brave as her. They haven't got the personality to get away with the shit she does. Rachel is like a fly in their ear they can't get rid of, and she wins competitions, and she will win again soon, and then THEY WILL PAY.
I just hope that wedding to Brendan doesn't crush her Vegas spirit. He's already dowdified her a bit, I want her with her full on cats-eyes makeup and the red extensions, kicking arse. She's an amazing player. And she still won't win it. Why?
Because once the 'veterans' are done taking out Kalia and Danielle (and vice versa), you do know who will be sitting there pretty at the end, don't you?
ADAM. Adam who has brought nothing to the show except a dearth of a personality wrapped in a cliche (he hasn't even got that gross beard anymore as a talking point).
Unless, unless.
I really could see Shelley winning this game. She is one sneaky motherfucker, and I know they're onto her playing both sides, but I think by the time they get round to doing something about it, it might be too late. She's played a blinding, cunning, trixy little bitch of a game and I salute her for that.
This week felt like a turning point. I think we're in for a mad ride from here on...
Showing posts with label rachel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rachel. Show all posts
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Big Brother USA: Season 13 begins
The best show on TV is back, treading old ground, coming up with new twists, and generally being AMAZING. It feels so weird to watch an episode that is actually happening NOW as we watched so many previous seasons all in a row. It's very exciting for us Big Brother geeks.
Chenbot is in charge as usual, wearing something vile, and talking about it all as if it has some sort of national importance.
The 'twist' this year is that they're working in pairs again (which is a bit rubbish) but the good part is when a pair gets nominated, they have to campaign against each other to get the other one evicted, so they aren't working as a team any more. Should be interesting with some of the housemates being couples...
It's too early to judge the new housemates yet, and I'm not sure of all the names, although I've got a soft spot for virgin motorbike boy already. Rawk dude is getting on my nerves, and I like the southern accent of one of the model women types.
America also voted three couples from previous series' back into the house. Now, America, we need a word, which one of you idiots voted Jeff and Jordan back in? Talk about the most boring couple on earth. She's dumpy and thick, and he's smug and condescending. He talks to her like she's a three-year-old. It was bad enough when she won it last time, why are you giving them another crack of it? They're insipid! We could have had the greatest player of all time, Dan, or the devilish Dr. Will (although Mike Boogie and Memphis would be too high a price to pay for them, Dan and Will should be on their own team of master manipulators.)
Getting Rachel and Brendon back is obviously brilliant; Rachel is one of the best reality show contestants ever. She gets people's backs up brilliantly. I love her laugh! I actually really like her, but she's already jumping the Nikki Grahame shark by re-doing her old phrases ('no one comes between me and my man!) Regurgitating your old shtick never really works. She looks like crap, this year, too, I wondered if there was a lighting issue in the diary room, but my boyfriend scoffed at this. Brendon is a bozo. How long before someone mentions the sexting?
Evil Dick will of course be the one to bring it up. Evil Dick looks like he's spent the past few years drinking heavily, his face is proper bloated, and Danielle looks like she's been smoking crack. What was she thinking with the black hair? She looks fucking dreadful. I mean she looked anorexic before but now she looks deathly. I think she's got some serious issues. And are we really meant to believe her and her dad haven't spoken in three years? Come on now, we're not that fucking stupid.
I can't wait for so many things about this Big Brother, to see the new HOH room, to hear Evil Dick's stupid heavy metal theme tune, see Brenchel soppily encouraging each other in tasks, to (hopefully) watch Jeff and Jordan implode. I know there'll be some amazing twists. And I'm looking forward to finding out about the newbies, too.
I also love the way they just bring oldies back all the time, they just aren't afraid to just give you the same old shit you saw last year. But thank god Jessie didn't get in this time!
Rachel is first head of house, which is crucial, as her and Brendon and Dick and Danielle are bound to be massive targets. They need to team up as they're all strong players, and annihilate the newbies, fast, or they're going to be back out before you know it.
Now, who wants to see my Head of Household room?
Chenbot is in charge as usual, wearing something vile, and talking about it all as if it has some sort of national importance.
The 'twist' this year is that they're working in pairs again (which is a bit rubbish) but the good part is when a pair gets nominated, they have to campaign against each other to get the other one evicted, so they aren't working as a team any more. Should be interesting with some of the housemates being couples...
It's too early to judge the new housemates yet, and I'm not sure of all the names, although I've got a soft spot for virgin motorbike boy already. Rawk dude is getting on my nerves, and I like the southern accent of one of the model women types.
America also voted three couples from previous series' back into the house. Now, America, we need a word, which one of you idiots voted Jeff and Jordan back in? Talk about the most boring couple on earth. She's dumpy and thick, and he's smug and condescending. He talks to her like she's a three-year-old. It was bad enough when she won it last time, why are you giving them another crack of it? They're insipid! We could have had the greatest player of all time, Dan, or the devilish Dr. Will (although Mike Boogie and Memphis would be too high a price to pay for them, Dan and Will should be on their own team of master manipulators.)
Getting Rachel and Brendon back is obviously brilliant; Rachel is one of the best reality show contestants ever. She gets people's backs up brilliantly. I love her laugh! I actually really like her, but she's already jumping the Nikki Grahame shark by re-doing her old phrases ('no one comes between me and my man!) Regurgitating your old shtick never really works. She looks like crap, this year, too, I wondered if there was a lighting issue in the diary room, but my boyfriend scoffed at this. Brendon is a bozo. How long before someone mentions the sexting?
Evil Dick will of course be the one to bring it up. Evil Dick looks like he's spent the past few years drinking heavily, his face is proper bloated, and Danielle looks like she's been smoking crack. What was she thinking with the black hair? She looks fucking dreadful. I mean she looked anorexic before but now she looks deathly. I think she's got some serious issues. And are we really meant to believe her and her dad haven't spoken in three years? Come on now, we're not that fucking stupid.
I can't wait for so many things about this Big Brother, to see the new HOH room, to hear Evil Dick's stupid heavy metal theme tune, see Brenchel soppily encouraging each other in tasks, to (hopefully) watch Jeff and Jordan implode. I know there'll be some amazing twists. And I'm looking forward to finding out about the newbies, too.
I also love the way they just bring oldies back all the time, they just aren't afraid to just give you the same old shit you saw last year. But thank god Jessie didn't get in this time!
Rachel is first head of house, which is crucial, as her and Brendon and Dick and Danielle are bound to be massive targets. They need to team up as they're all strong players, and annihilate the newbies, fast, or they're going to be back out before you know it.
Now, who wants to see my Head of Household room?
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Big Brother USA Season 12 (so far!)
I'm actually up to date with Big Brother USA, which is good as I'm normally about five behind. As usual Big Brother USA is consistently better than our show; they create drama without shoehorning it in, they shoot it nicely, and the tasks are actually interesting, and mammoth!
The dynamics are peculiar, though, and your favourite can go at any time, as there's no public vote, and the biggest schemers stay in the longest. And the less said about the host, the better.
Each week follows a set format, head of household competition, in which the winner gets to put two people 'on the block'. (The also get a fancy head of household room, which mainly seems to have lots of junk food in it) The nominated housemates get to fight for 'POV' (Power of Veto) and one might get to take themselves off the block. Then finally, the housemates get bullied and cajoled into who to vote for, and someone gets kicked out by a crushing majority. Oh yes, nomination are discussed openly. That's the main difference from our show, and it's great. Throughout the week they cut the show so you think it's going to go in one direction, but you can normally see right through it. Still, at least they make the effort.
My favourite character this year is Rachel, a trashy scientist/stripper, who has sparked up a romance with Disney-beefcake Brendan. This has put noses out of joint throughout the house, and every one has been gunning for them ever since. One of them is looking likely to be out on their ear this week. I'll miss Rachel with her ginormous boobs, red hair extensions and a penchant for going 'don't try to come between me and MY man!' you get the feeling is Brendan actually brought her home to his mum, she'd poison Rachel's lasagne.
Rachel and Brendan's main rivals in the house are the self-styled 'brigade' a bunch of hapless, overgrown teenagers who look like they could barely complete a crossword puzzle between them. There's Enzo, who calls himself 'the meow meow'- presumably because he's such a pussy as all the tasks (nb. I had to be sexist for that joke to work). Hayden is half-vegetable, half-Tyrone off Corrie, and last week his two-timing showmantic relationship with girlfriend Kristen ended when she was shown the door in her hippytard (don't ask); not a moment too soon. She made blocks of ice look friendly. Also in the brigade: Lane, a half-loveable redneck, and Matt, a self-important prick who is pretending his wife has a terminal disease to try and bag the half a million dollars. Matt also has what looks like a girl's suitcase decorated with skulls, and pyjamas that look like a babygro. Rawk. I cannot WAIT until the brigade start picking each other off; that's the best bit about BBUSA; they all have to turn on each other in the end.
The only other person of interest in the house is super bitch-Britney. She looks like she'd bake you an apple pie and water your plants for you whilst you were away; in actual fact I wouldn't be surprised if she shat in your sink. Utterly loathsome, yet she comes out with some viciously good one-liners. I'm torn.
Then there's Kathy, a trembling 'Sheriff' who looks like she's constantly about to cry. I hope she lives somewhere with a low crime rate because I'd have more faith in that detective off Catterick.
Finally, there's a dull gay, which is a shame, as they normally do a good line in gays on this show.
Evicted so far: uptight lesbian Annie, oddball jewish dude Andrew (fantastic leaving speech though), and passive-aggressive, bulldog-chewing-a-wasp Monet. She said she was a model; she must have been modelling muzzles.
The tasks are epic; tense and expensive; they look like movie sets and are actually interesting. And then every so often, they let the housemates watch a movie as a treat, and we watch them laughing so hard at some awful straight-to-dvd comedy. Just gotta love that advertising. Shameless!
So what will happen? Will the brigade break up the power couple? Will Kathy ever win anything? But most importantly, who wants to see my head of household room?
The dynamics are peculiar, though, and your favourite can go at any time, as there's no public vote, and the biggest schemers stay in the longest. And the less said about the host, the better.
Each week follows a set format, head of household competition, in which the winner gets to put two people 'on the block'. (The also get a fancy head of household room, which mainly seems to have lots of junk food in it) The nominated housemates get to fight for 'POV' (Power of Veto) and one might get to take themselves off the block. Then finally, the housemates get bullied and cajoled into who to vote for, and someone gets kicked out by a crushing majority. Oh yes, nomination are discussed openly. That's the main difference from our show, and it's great. Throughout the week they cut the show so you think it's going to go in one direction, but you can normally see right through it. Still, at least they make the effort.
My favourite character this year is Rachel, a trashy scientist/stripper, who has sparked up a romance with Disney-beefcake Brendan. This has put noses out of joint throughout the house, and every one has been gunning for them ever since. One of them is looking likely to be out on their ear this week. I'll miss Rachel with her ginormous boobs, red hair extensions and a penchant for going 'don't try to come between me and MY man!' you get the feeling is Brendan actually brought her home to his mum, she'd poison Rachel's lasagne.
Rachel and Brendan's main rivals in the house are the self-styled 'brigade' a bunch of hapless, overgrown teenagers who look like they could barely complete a crossword puzzle between them. There's Enzo, who calls himself 'the meow meow'- presumably because he's such a pussy as all the tasks (nb. I had to be sexist for that joke to work). Hayden is half-vegetable, half-Tyrone off Corrie, and last week his two-timing showmantic relationship with girlfriend Kristen ended when she was shown the door in her hippytard (don't ask); not a moment too soon. She made blocks of ice look friendly. Also in the brigade: Lane, a half-loveable redneck, and Matt, a self-important prick who is pretending his wife has a terminal disease to try and bag the half a million dollars. Matt also has what looks like a girl's suitcase decorated with skulls, and pyjamas that look like a babygro. Rawk. I cannot WAIT until the brigade start picking each other off; that's the best bit about BBUSA; they all have to turn on each other in the end.
The only other person of interest in the house is super bitch-Britney. She looks like she'd bake you an apple pie and water your plants for you whilst you were away; in actual fact I wouldn't be surprised if she shat in your sink. Utterly loathsome, yet she comes out with some viciously good one-liners. I'm torn.
Then there's Kathy, a trembling 'Sheriff' who looks like she's constantly about to cry. I hope she lives somewhere with a low crime rate because I'd have more faith in that detective off Catterick.
Finally, there's a dull gay, which is a shame, as they normally do a good line in gays on this show.
Evicted so far: uptight lesbian Annie, oddball jewish dude Andrew (fantastic leaving speech though), and passive-aggressive, bulldog-chewing-a-wasp Monet. She said she was a model; she must have been modelling muzzles.
The tasks are epic; tense and expensive; they look like movie sets and are actually interesting. And then every so often, they let the housemates watch a movie as a treat, and we watch them laughing so hard at some awful straight-to-dvd comedy. Just gotta love that advertising. Shameless!
So what will happen? Will the brigade break up the power couple? Will Kathy ever win anything? But most importantly, who wants to see my head of household room?
Friday, 6 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Pepper spray
Are you excited about Mario's magic trick? Me neither! This task blows! Yesterdays show was sooo boring. Trying to sustain excitement since Ben gone is proving difficult. John James throwing a paddy in a dress was the best thing that happened yesterday. Why did they choose these people? Where are the Marcus's, the Freddies? Where's Rex? Instead we get Jo and JJ. They had 81 cunts to choose from, was this really the cream of the crop? Fuck a DUCK!
I like it when John just rounds on people. At least it provides some entertainment. Dave you ARE an inanimate object. Please go tonight. Get off my TV screen.
JJ looks like a little field mouse in that get up. I wish someone would stamp on him.
Like Sam riling Dave! Keep that up.
They showed Dave and Sam having the same conversation TWICE! Are we that hard up for highlights.
Dave- STOP TALKING ABOUT NOMINATIONS, THICKO.
Wow, these highlights are duff. LOL they're making sure Sam stays next week. Good move. I dread to think what this show would be like without him.
Every time Jo speaks I want to drain my blood into a large bowl and throw it out the window, just to stop the pain.
Swimming-costume gate! John James definitely smirked.
Oh the old smoking argument. SMOKING IS AN ADDICTION. Well, you got addicted, moron, not me, so suck it up. Corin is getting on my wick. Sam seems more sane every day. It would be funny if he won, right?
Sam getting told not to insult people by old crab eyes. That's rich!
Dave 'especially with a woman'. He really sees women as inferior beings who can't stand up for themselves, doesn't he?
2nd show. Oh, who cares? They should have the evicted housemate come out of that box, it'd be better.
Not just as good Ben's stand up.
OMG Dave survives again. WHY? He's going to start thinking he's popular at this rate. Don't get me wrong, Rachel is a complete gorm but fucking hell. She's not a homophobic anti-abortionist fantasist.
I like Rachel's dress. At least she's enjoying herself if no one else is. She's annoying but she was basically harmless, except for when she was gunning for Ben.
Aw, Ben. *wells up*
Rachel wants Dave to win! WHY?
Can you imagine ringing in with a question for Rachel? I mean, you might as well just shout down a well.
Ooh, all-stars in two weeks! Who decides who's our favourite housemates? Here's my pick: Ashleeeeeeeeen, Victor, Rex, Brian Belo, Brian Dowling, Helen, Derek, Craig (psycho, not builder), Freddie, Marcus, and there must be some other females I liked but I can't think of any.
NB. Crab eyes is going to win this hands down. You know it, I know it, he knows it. And he'll be off to Australia to top up his already big bank account, leaving Josie for dust. The end.
I like it when John just rounds on people. At least it provides some entertainment. Dave you ARE an inanimate object. Please go tonight. Get off my TV screen.
JJ looks like a little field mouse in that get up. I wish someone would stamp on him.
Like Sam riling Dave! Keep that up.
They showed Dave and Sam having the same conversation TWICE! Are we that hard up for highlights.
Dave- STOP TALKING ABOUT NOMINATIONS, THICKO.
Wow, these highlights are duff. LOL they're making sure Sam stays next week. Good move. I dread to think what this show would be like without him.
Every time Jo speaks I want to drain my blood into a large bowl and throw it out the window, just to stop the pain.
Swimming-costume gate! John James definitely smirked.
Oh the old smoking argument. SMOKING IS AN ADDICTION. Well, you got addicted, moron, not me, so suck it up. Corin is getting on my wick. Sam seems more sane every day. It would be funny if he won, right?
Sam getting told not to insult people by old crab eyes. That's rich!
Dave 'especially with a woman'. He really sees women as inferior beings who can't stand up for themselves, doesn't he?
2nd show. Oh, who cares? They should have the evicted housemate come out of that box, it'd be better.
Not just as good Ben's stand up.
OMG Dave survives again. WHY? He's going to start thinking he's popular at this rate. Don't get me wrong, Rachel is a complete gorm but fucking hell. She's not a homophobic anti-abortionist fantasist.
I like Rachel's dress. At least she's enjoying herself if no one else is. She's annoying but she was basically harmless, except for when she was gunning for Ben.
Aw, Ben. *wells up*
Rachel wants Dave to win! WHY?
Can you imagine ringing in with a question for Rachel? I mean, you might as well just shout down a well.
Ooh, all-stars in two weeks! Who decides who's our favourite housemates? Here's my pick: Ashleeeeeeeeen, Victor, Rex, Brian Belo, Brian Dowling, Helen, Derek, Craig (psycho, not builder), Freddie, Marcus, and there must be some other females I liked but I can't think of any.
NB. Crab eyes is going to win this hands down. You know it, I know it, he knows it. And he'll be off to Australia to top up his already big bank account, leaving Josie for dust. The end.
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Pest control
Josie's roots! They are the most entertaining thing in the show. My boyfriend has gone off Big Brother big time and is being a big rain-cloud over the whole thing. I can't disagree though; it's just repetitive bullshit right now.
John James to JJ: 'do you understand where I'm coming from?' Of course he does, he's your little limpet.
No one is getting involved in this row! No one!
Dave is drunk on God. What a knob. Why doesn't Sam tear a strip off him?
I hate the way Rachel always wonders why people nominated her, does she have no self-awareness?
EW did Dave just say 'I'm going to curl one out?' VOMIT. WELL DONE AT KEEPING HIM IN, CRETINS.
Mario and John James: 'even Rachel might win this task!' Gallant.
Task! Sam: 'keep up that relentless pace.' At least he's got a one-liner or two in him.
Oh, Mario! Your chivalry becomes you. Yay- Dave's up! Don't let me down this week, dweebs.
What is John James's problem? Someone get the fly swat. What stirrer this dude is.
Dave finds Mario's way of choosing 'unusual'. This from the man pretending to be drunk on an imaginary being! To quote Steve, poppycock.
I kinda like Andrew and I still don't know why! I think he appeals to my inner (and outer) geek.
My boyfriend has now gone to bed. Big Brother is not helping my relationship! Be more entertaining!
URGH JJ shaves his armpits! I thought he couldn't get any less sexy; now he's half girl.
John James's morals about the game change dependant on the day and subject. He is a total hypocrite, totally inconsistent. In a nutshell, Mario didn't dare put Josie up in front of him. Littlejohn should be grateful.
Whoever put JJ in there should be sacked. Or shot. Take your pick. I'd rather watch two dogs fuck down an alley than Corin trying to get off with him.
Is Corin giving him a handjob? Groo. When will this all be over?
John James to JJ: 'do you understand where I'm coming from?' Of course he does, he's your little limpet.
No one is getting involved in this row! No one!
Dave is drunk on God. What a knob. Why doesn't Sam tear a strip off him?
I hate the way Rachel always wonders why people nominated her, does she have no self-awareness?
EW did Dave just say 'I'm going to curl one out?' VOMIT. WELL DONE AT KEEPING HIM IN, CRETINS.
Mario and John James: 'even Rachel might win this task!' Gallant.
Task! Sam: 'keep up that relentless pace.' At least he's got a one-liner or two in him.
Oh, Mario! Your chivalry becomes you. Yay- Dave's up! Don't let me down this week, dweebs.
What is John James's problem? Someone get the fly swat. What stirrer this dude is.
Dave finds Mario's way of choosing 'unusual'. This from the man pretending to be drunk on an imaginary being! To quote Steve, poppycock.
I kinda like Andrew and I still don't know why! I think he appeals to my inner (and outer) geek.
My boyfriend has now gone to bed. Big Brother is not helping my relationship! Be more entertaining!
URGH JJ shaves his armpits! I thought he couldn't get any less sexy; now he's half girl.
John James's morals about the game change dependant on the day and subject. He is a total hypocrite, totally inconsistent. In a nutshell, Mario didn't dare put Josie up in front of him. Littlejohn should be grateful.
Whoever put JJ in there should be sacked. Or shot. Take your pick. I'd rather watch two dogs fuck down an alley than Corin trying to get off with him.
Is Corin giving him a handjob? Groo. When will this all be over?
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Decrease the decibels
Oh, Josie. Sam can't affect yours and John's relationship unless you let him.
NOMS. Hope Rachel goes this week. Andrew nominated Mario! Heh. Corin's crappy reason for nominating Jo! Rubbish. Just say she's an overbearing twonk.
Dave nominating Steve! Competition. He doesn't want to buy that computer knee, does he? Mario! Nooooo! Mario is being a dick lately. And the choice is getting smaller.
JJ doesn't like Rachel's voice. I don't like his FACE (I'd say personality but he hasn't got one).
I don't care who goes because I don't LIKE ANYONE! It's rubbish having no emotional investment. It's dull as a viewer.
Jo nominating John James. Yeah because you're providing so much more entertainment than him.
Everyone is out for Mario this week. That's going to put him in a good mood! Poor moley.
Ooh, Mario's after Josie's neck again. Abandoning dinner! Bitch. Letting people starve in the Big Brother house so she can have a frink! Mario is just jealous she's getting some action, methinks. Ditto the John James nomination.
Why would you bother nominating John James? It's obvious he's not going to go. He's the new JASON DONOVAN!
Steve's after John James and Josie, too. I guess you would be annoyed with them if you lived there and they just stayed in bed all day though. There's not much interaction to be had.
Bad Eastenders Character doesn't understand that it's all about high drama, not about her talking about DJing in Ibiza. She bores me to tears.
Josie stop justifying yourself because YOU are the one who needs to know where you stand, and you're terrified. You want to know as much as Sam does. Her and John ganging up on Sam just seemed tragic.
Sam is such a passion killer! Microphone gate. Josie and John James must be separated for the sake of our sanity. Stop nibbling each other's ears, goddammit.
Tree! Yes, Dave does make us yawn. RIP Ben.
John James's impression of the tree was good. JJ quoting the Bible was the funniest thing he's said in two weeks.
Is Josie still going on at Sam about the John James thing? BORING!
I like seeing people yawn on TV. You never see it in TV shows.
Jo is such a nosy so-and-so. She just wants to know what's going on! Keep your fucking beak out, dullard. She's right though; John James is holding the cards.
Sam's 'banter' is at least entertaining. It's better than JJ's.
Dave didn't seem too bothered that he didn't get his message. I'm surprised the satanic fucker can't understand backwards-speak. I thought he'd done OK at that task!
Aw John James admits to loving Josie Lee Collins. He just won't call her his girlfriend. I still like it when they cuddle, though. I like seeing affection in BB, we've been so starved of it over the years.
Aw John James and Josie sleeping on the floor. I am a sucker. They are both deeply flawed. Still, I cling.
NOMS. Hope Rachel goes this week. Andrew nominated Mario! Heh. Corin's crappy reason for nominating Jo! Rubbish. Just say she's an overbearing twonk.
Dave nominating Steve! Competition. He doesn't want to buy that computer knee, does he? Mario! Nooooo! Mario is being a dick lately. And the choice is getting smaller.
JJ doesn't like Rachel's voice. I don't like his FACE (I'd say personality but he hasn't got one).
I don't care who goes because I don't LIKE ANYONE! It's rubbish having no emotional investment. It's dull as a viewer.
Jo nominating John James. Yeah because you're providing so much more entertainment than him.
Everyone is out for Mario this week. That's going to put him in a good mood! Poor moley.
Ooh, Mario's after Josie's neck again. Abandoning dinner! Bitch. Letting people starve in the Big Brother house so she can have a frink! Mario is just jealous she's getting some action, methinks. Ditto the John James nomination.
Why would you bother nominating John James? It's obvious he's not going to go. He's the new JASON DONOVAN!
Steve's after John James and Josie, too. I guess you would be annoyed with them if you lived there and they just stayed in bed all day though. There's not much interaction to be had.
Bad Eastenders Character doesn't understand that it's all about high drama, not about her talking about DJing in Ibiza. She bores me to tears.
Josie stop justifying yourself because YOU are the one who needs to know where you stand, and you're terrified. You want to know as much as Sam does. Her and John ganging up on Sam just seemed tragic.
Sam is such a passion killer! Microphone gate. Josie and John James must be separated for the sake of our sanity. Stop nibbling each other's ears, goddammit.
Tree! Yes, Dave does make us yawn. RIP Ben.
John James's impression of the tree was good. JJ quoting the Bible was the funniest thing he's said in two weeks.
Is Josie still going on at Sam about the John James thing? BORING!
I like seeing people yawn on TV. You never see it in TV shows.
Jo is such a nosy so-and-so. She just wants to know what's going on! Keep your fucking beak out, dullard. She's right though; John James is holding the cards.
Sam's 'banter' is at least entertaining. It's better than JJ's.
Dave didn't seem too bothered that he didn't get his message. I'm surprised the satanic fucker can't understand backwards-speak. I thought he'd done OK at that task!
Aw John James admits to loving Josie Lee Collins. He just won't call her his girlfriend. I still like it when they cuddle, though. I like seeing affection in BB, we've been so starved of it over the years.
Aw John James and Josie sleeping on the floor. I am a sucker. They are both deeply flawed. Still, I cling.
Monday, 2 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Heads, shoulders, knees and crab eyes
Sam: 'JJ you're a prick.' Apparently JJ likes that kind of 'banter'. I heard JJ say on the live feed that two famous people he'd like to be friends with are James Corden and Peter Andre (for the music). Music?! Case closed on this cunt.
Does that say 'c'est la vie' on Sam's chest? Isn't that a Bewitched song? Sorry, B*witched.
Everyone trying to convince themselves Sam is loveable scamp when really they can't stand him is quite special.
John James looks sexy again today... and this is why he will win. Even though he's a psychotic women-hater.
I thought Corin would be sweating about the lack of video tape from her girlfriend. But SHE is the one that doesn't seem bothered. She's just written off her girlfriend just like that. No more buzzing with her I guess! (apologies)
Jo is just a platitude-fest. She's got less character than a dishcloth. Has she even said one interesting thing since she walked through the door?
I can't work out what's going on in this task. It's definitely not as good as the endurance tasks on BBUSA, I know that much.
John James is loaded because he inherited loads of cash from his dead dad. I hate the thought of him lording it over Josie. I feel like she is heading for such a fall.
Magazine deals! Old crab eyes don't need the money. He doesn't approve of that sort of thing, either. John James is bearing his teeth like a chimp when Sam goes for Josie. But he didn't stick up for her. He should back Josie up on this one.
No one is going to be interested in Sam's story, that's for sure.
I liked Sam smirking during Andrew's date. I'm surprised Andrew chose him! Poor Andrew, he hasn't got a clue. Sam is quite camp really, he's like a bitchy queen.
I don't know why Josie is bothered about the magazine deal thing. I'd be more annoyed that he'd called me a fat slag.
If Jo is a dishcloth, JJ is an amoeba. I'd call him an oxygen thief but I'm not sure he's actually breathing. A boxer? I wish someone would punch him in the face. With a knuckle duster.
I liked Sam a bit more today. He's just a little devil. But rather a devil than a dishcloth.
Does that say 'c'est la vie' on Sam's chest? Isn't that a Bewitched song? Sorry, B*witched.
Everyone trying to convince themselves Sam is loveable scamp when really they can't stand him is quite special.
John James looks sexy again today... and this is why he will win. Even though he's a psychotic women-hater.
I thought Corin would be sweating about the lack of video tape from her girlfriend. But SHE is the one that doesn't seem bothered. She's just written off her girlfriend just like that. No more buzzing with her I guess! (apologies)
Jo is just a platitude-fest. She's got less character than a dishcloth. Has she even said one interesting thing since she walked through the door?
I can't work out what's going on in this task. It's definitely not as good as the endurance tasks on BBUSA, I know that much.
John James is loaded because he inherited loads of cash from his dead dad. I hate the thought of him lording it over Josie. I feel like she is heading for such a fall.
Magazine deals! Old crab eyes don't need the money. He doesn't approve of that sort of thing, either. John James is bearing his teeth like a chimp when Sam goes for Josie. But he didn't stick up for her. He should back Josie up on this one.
No one is going to be interested in Sam's story, that's for sure.
I liked Sam smirking during Andrew's date. I'm surprised Andrew chose him! Poor Andrew, he hasn't got a clue. Sam is quite camp really, he's like a bitchy queen.
I don't know why Josie is bothered about the magazine deal thing. I'd be more annoyed that he'd called me a fat slag.
If Jo is a dishcloth, JJ is an amoeba. I'd call him an oxygen thief but I'm not sure he's actually breathing. A boxer? I wish someone would punch him in the face. With a knuckle duster.
I liked Sam a bit more today. He's just a little devil. But rather a devil than a dishcloth.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Sexual harrassment
So, Sam. Can he keep up that act indefinitely, or is he just a mega knob? John James having to grit his teeth as Sam took the mick out of them on last night's show was amusing though. And we saw a new side of Andrew too; Andrew under pressure. Interesting. This lot really deserve what they get.
I think Sam is enjoying playing dress up. And I think they want him to fail this task.
I think Sam just sexually assaulted Josie. Can we throw him out now? I hope Big Brother tells him off. Oh, they did.
John James squirming when Sam was grilling him about the romance was interesting. I didn't like the way John James ducked and dived over that.
Sam didn't seem the slightest bit bothered that he has to wear fancy dress from now on. It feels to me like he's got aspergers or something; there's no levels to his personality. Something's not right.
Jo is being a bit unfair dragging Corin over the coals over JJ, when she has a girlfriend. She's already done enough damage on her own.
Messages from home! Tissues at the ready.
No message from Corin's girlfriend! Uh oh. Dave's wife message seemed utterly stilted. If my boyfriend left a message for me like that after 2 months, I'd assume he'd been off fucking half of London. Either that or she's just a cold fish.
Media coverage! John James won't like that. He's not in it for that! Except when he is. John's mum is glam.
Steve's kids are cute. His wife didn't seem very loving either. Maybe she's pissed off about Keeley.
Ah, it was nice when Rachel hugged Steve, she seemed genuinely compassionate.
I'm not sure I'd dare start the toothbrush war with Sam, you never know where he's going to put it.
BBB (bring back Ben!)
I think Sam is enjoying playing dress up. And I think they want him to fail this task.
I think Sam just sexually assaulted Josie. Can we throw him out now? I hope Big Brother tells him off. Oh, they did.
John James squirming when Sam was grilling him about the romance was interesting. I didn't like the way John James ducked and dived over that.
Sam didn't seem the slightest bit bothered that he has to wear fancy dress from now on. It feels to me like he's got aspergers or something; there's no levels to his personality. Something's not right.
Jo is being a bit unfair dragging Corin over the coals over JJ, when she has a girlfriend. She's already done enough damage on her own.
Messages from home! Tissues at the ready.
No message from Corin's girlfriend! Uh oh. Dave's wife message seemed utterly stilted. If my boyfriend left a message for me like that after 2 months, I'd assume he'd been off fucking half of London. Either that or she's just a cold fish.
Media coverage! John James won't like that. He's not in it for that! Except when he is. John's mum is glam.
Steve's kids are cute. His wife didn't seem very loving either. Maybe she's pissed off about Keeley.
Ah, it was nice when Rachel hugged Steve, she seemed genuinely compassionate.
I'm not sure I'd dare start the toothbrush war with Sam, you never know where he's going to put it.
BBB (bring back Ben!)
Friday, 30 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Change your taste in Ben
So did Laura let the cat out of the bag? Is Sam going in over Tubbs? Good, I want someone hateful to go in, not like all these other dullards.
That model has a nice bum. Why can't he be a housemate? I've never seen so many people in the bathroom all at once!
Davina in the house was quite funny. Better than when she went in in that ridiculous farmyard garb. Ooh, John James looks hot in that eyeliner! Davina licked his face and he RECOILED!
Ben is disgusted by new Tampax IN A PACKET! Never go to a festival, Ben. I can't work out if he's being sexist or just ignorant. Still, why do BB have to show that right now?! SOB (Save our Ben).
YES! Dave saying 'make-up is helping ugly women get laid for centuries'! That was the sound of a thousand phones being picked up.
This conversation between John and Andrew is cringeworthy! That was entirely for the benefit of the cameras as far as I'm concerned. He is playing that game!
Why is Gok Wan having his picture taken with Steve? *racist*
It makes me feel physically sick when Dave says he's got stuff bubbling up in his belly. It makes vomit bubble up in my throat.
I couldn't not cuddle my boyfriend if he was there. Was Dave's wife the blonde one? She looked a bit nice for him! That task is a headfuck.
Corin, 'you can never be too brown'. True, but you can be too orange.
How could people hate Ben!? He is the LOLS! Get that fat CUNT Dave out NOW!
JEDWARD! I saw Jedward on Live From Studio Five earlier, they were AMAZING. I also read an interview with them recently where they said the following: 'People only throw tantrums and storm out of rooms slamming the door BECAUSE THEY'VE SEEN IT IN A MOVIE.' Just stop to consider that for a second. Imagine if you learnt my entire emotional range from 80s films. They are quite special little things, aren't they (Jedward, not extra terrestrials).
I wish Mario would get a grip, he's unravelling in that place. Dear Mario, stop being such a DOUCHE. You were a hero once. You didn't talk to your granddad because you didn't NOTICE HIM!
Ben has got nuff makeup on! He looks 80s. OMG! DAVE IS SAFE OVER BEN! This is fucking bullshit! What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously, does Dave provide more entertainment in that house than Ben? I am DISGUSTED.
I am literally screaming at the TV. Dave is SCUM! Ben looks scared. I don't like anyone else in there!
It just feels like the end of Big Brother for me right now. My Big Brother heart feels broken. The show is ending this year and there's no one I love in there; Ben is the only one I cared about. I BLUBBED.
Why the fuck did John James get such a big cheer? I seriously want Andrew to win now. Fuck John James. FUCKING RACHEL IS IN THERE AND BEN'S NOT. ARGH!
What Ben brought to the table was panache, Davina.
Ben looks nervous. I hope they don't let the public abuse him. Don't crawl to Rachel, she's a complete tool.
My God, Ben got 52% of the vote. How is that possible?
Ben: 'my mum's in exile in Switzerland'. Oh, I will miss him. Idiot fucking public, I despise you. Cheers.
Sam Pepper! Please spice things up. A massacre would probably hit the spot. You could become my new favourite so very easily right now. Especially as apparently he upset Ife in the auditions. They should make him evict one housemate of his choice in front of them.
Can you imagine being in Jedward's backing band? I'd rather do that than be in Scouting for Girls. Or be anywhere near Joss Stone.
I think I love Jedward. They are not quite human, but they'd be good to play with.
Jedward are like mad imps trashing the place! Ooh Jedward got in trubs. LOL! Jedward just set the fire alarm off! Quality.
Jedward are shiny. Perhaps housemates shouldn't ignore the fire alarm. It might set a dangerous precedent.
That model has a nice bum. Why can't he be a housemate? I've never seen so many people in the bathroom all at once!
Davina in the house was quite funny. Better than when she went in in that ridiculous farmyard garb. Ooh, John James looks hot in that eyeliner! Davina licked his face and he RECOILED!
Ben is disgusted by new Tampax IN A PACKET! Never go to a festival, Ben. I can't work out if he's being sexist or just ignorant. Still, why do BB have to show that right now?! SOB (Save our Ben).
YES! Dave saying 'make-up is helping ugly women get laid for centuries'! That was the sound of a thousand phones being picked up.
This conversation between John and Andrew is cringeworthy! That was entirely for the benefit of the cameras as far as I'm concerned. He is playing that game!
Why is Gok Wan having his picture taken with Steve? *racist*
It makes me feel physically sick when Dave says he's got stuff bubbling up in his belly. It makes vomit bubble up in my throat.
I couldn't not cuddle my boyfriend if he was there. Was Dave's wife the blonde one? She looked a bit nice for him! That task is a headfuck.
Corin, 'you can never be too brown'. True, but you can be too orange.
How could people hate Ben!? He is the LOLS! Get that fat CUNT Dave out NOW!
JEDWARD! I saw Jedward on Live From Studio Five earlier, they were AMAZING. I also read an interview with them recently where they said the following: 'People only throw tantrums and storm out of rooms slamming the door BECAUSE THEY'VE SEEN IT IN A MOVIE.' Just stop to consider that for a second. Imagine if you learnt my entire emotional range from 80s films. They are quite special little things, aren't they (Jedward, not extra terrestrials).
I wish Mario would get a grip, he's unravelling in that place. Dear Mario, stop being such a DOUCHE. You were a hero once. You didn't talk to your granddad because you didn't NOTICE HIM!
Ben has got nuff makeup on! He looks 80s. OMG! DAVE IS SAFE OVER BEN! This is fucking bullshit! What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously, does Dave provide more entertainment in that house than Ben? I am DISGUSTED.
I am literally screaming at the TV. Dave is SCUM! Ben looks scared. I don't like anyone else in there!
It just feels like the end of Big Brother for me right now. My Big Brother heart feels broken. The show is ending this year and there's no one I love in there; Ben is the only one I cared about. I BLUBBED.
Why the fuck did John James get such a big cheer? I seriously want Andrew to win now. Fuck John James. FUCKING RACHEL IS IN THERE AND BEN'S NOT. ARGH!
What Ben brought to the table was panache, Davina.
Ben looks nervous. I hope they don't let the public abuse him. Don't crawl to Rachel, she's a complete tool.
My God, Ben got 52% of the vote. How is that possible?
Ben: 'my mum's in exile in Switzerland'. Oh, I will miss him. Idiot fucking public, I despise you. Cheers.
Sam Pepper! Please spice things up. A massacre would probably hit the spot. You could become my new favourite so very easily right now. Especially as apparently he upset Ife in the auditions. They should make him evict one housemate of his choice in front of them.
Can you imagine being in Jedward's backing band? I'd rather do that than be in Scouting for Girls. Or be anywhere near Joss Stone.
I think I love Jedward. They are not quite human, but they'd be good to play with.
Jedward are like mad imps trashing the place! Ooh Jedward got in trubs. LOL! Jedward just set the fire alarm off! Quality.
Jedward are shiny. Perhaps housemates shouldn't ignore the fire alarm. It might set a dangerous precedent.
Thursday, 29 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Dear God Please Help Me (Get Dave Out)
Oh Laura! Didn't even say goodbye. She's worse than me leaving a nightclub. Half an hour later, no one has noticed she's gone. Did we even see them announce it!?
Why is Ben bothered about John and Josie being under the covers? 'He's a pig and she's a piglet!' That's love for you.
What is Corin playing at? I'd be mortified if my partner was leering over someone so explicitly in there.
That task (where they have to ignore weird things going on) is quite a good idea. They have NO HOPE of passing it.
That stripper postman is like a low level molester, following people around sticking his bum out.
Ben: task-failure enabler! Oh they get video messages if they pass. I hope we have a repeat of last year, when Bea wasn't impressed with the calibre of friend in her video message.
Josie should have said 'I love your crab eyes' to John James.
Has Mario not realised his granddad is sitting in the chair? LOL! 'My granddad is a world away from this'. Not!
How soon after did he twig?!
Oh, Rachel, leave off Ben. You're getting on my nerves.
Marcus Bentley going in was so post-modern, it was like the show was eating itself. It's like looking at a picture of someone looking in a mirror looking in a mirror. I reckon I would have recognised him! I bet he got a buzz from going in. I bet that's his dream come true. It's a head trip.
Marcus has got some comedy timing! Good on him.
OMG I would freak if someone wiped that pie in my face! Corin is a trouper.
Steve, I don't think saying 'ignore this, ignore this' counts as ignoring it. I liked the housemates saying the house was a shithole and playing ball over them! Funny. Andrew was particularly good.
Wow that task was actually really imaginative and funny. Well done, Big Brother. And I don't say that very often. (apart from all the outside people coming in, of course)
Oh God, Rachel and Mario ganging up on Ben is just boring. Rachel, you're NOT GOING OUT WITH HIM AND HE DID NOTHING. Shut the fuck up.
Ben is the favourite to go? On what planet could Ben be less popular than Dave? Not one I want to live on. Vote out that anti-abortion, women-hating, god-bothering fantasist NOW. Nooooooooooooow!
Why is Ben bothered about John and Josie being under the covers? 'He's a pig and she's a piglet!' That's love for you.
What is Corin playing at? I'd be mortified if my partner was leering over someone so explicitly in there.
That task (where they have to ignore weird things going on) is quite a good idea. They have NO HOPE of passing it.
That stripper postman is like a low level molester, following people around sticking his bum out.
Ben: task-failure enabler! Oh they get video messages if they pass. I hope we have a repeat of last year, when Bea wasn't impressed with the calibre of friend in her video message.
Josie should have said 'I love your crab eyes' to John James.
Has Mario not realised his granddad is sitting in the chair? LOL! 'My granddad is a world away from this'. Not!
How soon after did he twig?!
Oh, Rachel, leave off Ben. You're getting on my nerves.
Marcus Bentley going in was so post-modern, it was like the show was eating itself. It's like looking at a picture of someone looking in a mirror looking in a mirror. I reckon I would have recognised him! I bet he got a buzz from going in. I bet that's his dream come true. It's a head trip.
Marcus has got some comedy timing! Good on him.
OMG I would freak if someone wiped that pie in my face! Corin is a trouper.
Steve, I don't think saying 'ignore this, ignore this' counts as ignoring it. I liked the housemates saying the house was a shithole and playing ball over them! Funny. Andrew was particularly good.
Wow that task was actually really imaginative and funny. Well done, Big Brother. And I don't say that very often. (apart from all the outside people coming in, of course)
Oh God, Rachel and Mario ganging up on Ben is just boring. Rachel, you're NOT GOING OUT WITH HIM AND HE DID NOTHING. Shut the fuck up.
Ben is the favourite to go? On what planet could Ben be less popular than Dave? Not one I want to live on. Vote out that anti-abortion, women-hating, god-bothering fantasist NOW. Nooooooooooooow!
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Wedding Mess
So Laura walked. Let's have a minute's silence, to mirror her time in the house.
OMG John James has told Josie he likes her! Well, so she says.
Josie's impression of that snog was way sexy. Didn't she force him to have that snog? 'When I kissed him my breath smelt like a portaloo.' Lush.
Josie is worrying about the cost of overseas phonecalls. I wouldn't smash the piggybank just yet.
That exercise Andrew and Dave are doing looks HARDCORE. Move over JJJJ. There's some new totty in town.
Big Brother seems keen to get rid of Laura! No John James treatment; calling people to the diary room begging her to stay. Just fack off, boring. Stop wasting everyone's time. What exactly can't she cope with? John James's accent?
Not interested in all the flim-flam when I know she's already gone; it's a dead storyline.
Steve looked shocked to be up. John James looked cool when he got nominated and did the peace sign whilst eating a banana.
I hope Ben wins save and replace! Not much chance though.
Steve looks a bit peeved. Dave is worried because he's up against the straight MEN of the house. Women don't concern him.
Task: interesting; who will Steve pick to go up instead of him? I knew he'd pick Andrew. I think he probably does feel bad about it. I guess Mario has got off lightly this week.
I don't think Andrew will go. Surely it's our chance to get rid of Dave?
Dave on Josie and John James snogging; 'it's like a frigging porno shoot'. How weird is he?
Josie seems to be being particularly needy today, and wandering round in a wedding dress isn't helping matters.
John is PLAYING this game! 'Tell Josie I got cheered if I go.' What a man! He's a hero.
John James's pet limpet is upset he might go. Shoulda caught that bouquet then, rat face.
Andrew pining over Josie. Aw. In another world. Who'd have thought Josie would be the femme fatale of the house?
Is Andrew drunk and letching at Josie? Oh dear.
PS: Jo as Eastenders character continued. I watched some live feed and she was going on about Ibiza. Enough said.
OMG John James has told Josie he likes her! Well, so she says.
Josie's impression of that snog was way sexy. Didn't she force him to have that snog? 'When I kissed him my breath smelt like a portaloo.' Lush.
Josie is worrying about the cost of overseas phonecalls. I wouldn't smash the piggybank just yet.
That exercise Andrew and Dave are doing looks HARDCORE. Move over JJJJ. There's some new totty in town.
Big Brother seems keen to get rid of Laura! No John James treatment; calling people to the diary room begging her to stay. Just fack off, boring. Stop wasting everyone's time. What exactly can't she cope with? John James's accent?
Not interested in all the flim-flam when I know she's already gone; it's a dead storyline.
Steve looked shocked to be up. John James looked cool when he got nominated and did the peace sign whilst eating a banana.
I hope Ben wins save and replace! Not much chance though.
Steve looks a bit peeved. Dave is worried because he's up against the straight MEN of the house. Women don't concern him.
Task: interesting; who will Steve pick to go up instead of him? I knew he'd pick Andrew. I think he probably does feel bad about it. I guess Mario has got off lightly this week.
I don't think Andrew will go. Surely it's our chance to get rid of Dave?
Dave on Josie and John James snogging; 'it's like a frigging porno shoot'. How weird is he?
Josie seems to be being particularly needy today, and wandering round in a wedding dress isn't helping matters.
John is PLAYING this game! 'Tell Josie I got cheered if I go.' What a man! He's a hero.
John James's pet limpet is upset he might go. Shoulda caught that bouquet then, rat face.
Andrew pining over Josie. Aw. In another world. Who'd have thought Josie would be the femme fatale of the house?
Is Andrew drunk and letching at Josie? Oh dear.
PS: Jo as Eastenders character continued. I watched some live feed and she was going on about Ibiza. Enough said.
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Big Brother 11: My whites are boiling over
Jo is whipping out the old 'I'm not being funny'. She's like a badly written Eastenders character. I know that doesn't narrow it down.
Is John James still giving it the 'brother/sister' nonsense?
Ben having a go at Josie trying to be sexy! Bad. Naughty Ben. I don't think John knew what he was saying; or he pretended not to.
I like Mario's multicoloured nails! I'm going to try that. Online game chat. It's all a bit IT crowd but without the lols.
Ah, Dave automatically up; the producers are obviously trying to get shot of him this week, and not before time. I don't think John James would get that punishment, do you?
NOMS! I'd love to see Rachel go this week. No wonder Andrew is scared of Steve; Steve could crush him with his thumb.
Corin is in Ben's pocket with that nomination for Rachel, methinks.
Perhaps John should have said to Ben what he said in the diary room about Ben. I wasn't even sure he'd understood it at the time. He should have stuck up for Josie to Ben's face.
Josie nominated Ben to clear the bed next to her and John James, basically.
Mario is really getting on my wick right now. The mole thing seems a long, long time ago.
Rachel just nominated the two biggest characters in the house. Dur.
Steve nommed John and Josie! He's probably worried they're getting more airtime than him.
Ooh, all males up this week! I really hope Dave goes. I'm glad Steve's up, that'll give him a little shock.
Big Brother, how about just not including 'inaudible' bits in the highlights? Or just make something up. Uh-oh, tantrum time again! ANGUISH! Oh, the agony. Just snog, idiots. I think John James is worried about what other people think. That's about it.
John James's heart to heart with his new BFF forever was so dumb. OMG did you check out his necklace? JJ2 is a failed boy band member, dressed by Cromwell's Madhouse.
JJ2 looked more bothered that John went walkies that Josie did. DON'T DO IT JOHN! HE'S NOT WORTH IT! Josie unphased: 'he'll be back in a minute'. LOL!
As if they'd let John James walk. He's our leading man.
JJ1: 'please understand!'
JJ2: 'I can't understand!' Moving stuff. Who are all these people in the runs? They look like ghostly figures; apparitions. There's strange people in Big Brother every day this week. I'd be concerned it's going to go all Dead Set.
John James tortured in a tunnel, crying. This is the stuff teenage girl's dreams are made of! Who needs R-Pattz?
Poor Josie. The pain is written all over her face. Make no mistake; John James is concerned with how this looks to the outside. I'm not saying his feelings for Josie aren't real; but his feelings for himself run stronger.
God, can you imagine these two in a real relationship? Bags would be packed and clothes thrown from windows on a daily basis.
John should back off from her if he's really not interested. And I already know they snog tomorrow. So it's clearly the most mixed signals ever. And Corin said those exact words as I wrote them.
Aliengate! Don't deny Roswell, Ben! I saw the film.
Pinnochio ought to try and carve out a role for themselves in the house that's not Littlejohn's bitch.
What is up with Mario? I think he's lost his mind. He comes in and stares Ben out. Poor Ben. He's right, Mario is being a total shit right now. I think he's realised he's not going to win it and become unhinged as a result.
Did John James just kiss Josie and then go 'don't say anything' like a child molester?
What's up with Laura? Did Mario's psycho act just push him over the edge? Corin gave good advice then. I think she'd be good to turn to in a crisis. She must have been through the mill herself, she's younger than me and she's been widowed and gone lesbian. I barely leave the house.
Oh, Laura, just walk already. Get Tubbs in! You're not adding one single thing. In fact, you're taking away, as on the last live feed I watched I had to listen to yours and Jo's inane conversation instead of seeing some red-hot John and Josie whispering. Oh...
Is John James still giving it the 'brother/sister' nonsense?
Ben having a go at Josie trying to be sexy! Bad. Naughty Ben. I don't think John knew what he was saying; or he pretended not to.
I like Mario's multicoloured nails! I'm going to try that. Online game chat. It's all a bit IT crowd but without the lols.
Ah, Dave automatically up; the producers are obviously trying to get shot of him this week, and not before time. I don't think John James would get that punishment, do you?
NOMS! I'd love to see Rachel go this week. No wonder Andrew is scared of Steve; Steve could crush him with his thumb.
Corin is in Ben's pocket with that nomination for Rachel, methinks.
Perhaps John should have said to Ben what he said in the diary room about Ben. I wasn't even sure he'd understood it at the time. He should have stuck up for Josie to Ben's face.
Josie nominated Ben to clear the bed next to her and John James, basically.
Mario is really getting on my wick right now. The mole thing seems a long, long time ago.
Rachel just nominated the two biggest characters in the house. Dur.
Steve nommed John and Josie! He's probably worried they're getting more airtime than him.
Ooh, all males up this week! I really hope Dave goes. I'm glad Steve's up, that'll give him a little shock.
Big Brother, how about just not including 'inaudible' bits in the highlights? Or just make something up. Uh-oh, tantrum time again! ANGUISH! Oh, the agony. Just snog, idiots. I think John James is worried about what other people think. That's about it.
John James's heart to heart with his new BFF forever was so dumb. OMG did you check out his necklace? JJ2 is a failed boy band member, dressed by Cromwell's Madhouse.
JJ2 looked more bothered that John went walkies that Josie did. DON'T DO IT JOHN! HE'S NOT WORTH IT! Josie unphased: 'he'll be back in a minute'. LOL!
As if they'd let John James walk. He's our leading man.
JJ1: 'please understand!'
JJ2: 'I can't understand!' Moving stuff. Who are all these people in the runs? They look like ghostly figures; apparitions. There's strange people in Big Brother every day this week. I'd be concerned it's going to go all Dead Set.
John James tortured in a tunnel, crying. This is the stuff teenage girl's dreams are made of! Who needs R-Pattz?
Poor Josie. The pain is written all over her face. Make no mistake; John James is concerned with how this looks to the outside. I'm not saying his feelings for Josie aren't real; but his feelings for himself run stronger.
God, can you imagine these two in a real relationship? Bags would be packed and clothes thrown from windows on a daily basis.
John should back off from her if he's really not interested. And I already know they snog tomorrow. So it's clearly the most mixed signals ever. And Corin said those exact words as I wrote them.
Aliengate! Don't deny Roswell, Ben! I saw the film.
Pinnochio ought to try and carve out a role for themselves in the house that's not Littlejohn's bitch.
What is up with Mario? I think he's lost his mind. He comes in and stares Ben out. Poor Ben. He's right, Mario is being a total shit right now. I think he's realised he's not going to win it and become unhinged as a result.
Did John James just kiss Josie and then go 'don't say anything' like a child molester?
What's up with Laura? Did Mario's psycho act just push him over the edge? Corin gave good advice then. I think she'd be good to turn to in a crisis. She must have been through the mill herself, she's younger than me and she's been widowed and gone lesbian. I barely leave the house.
Oh, Laura, just walk already. Get Tubbs in! You're not adding one single thing. In fact, you're taking away, as on the last live feed I watched I had to listen to yours and Jo's inane conversation instead of seeing some red-hot John and Josie whispering. Oh...
Monday, 26 July 2010
Big Brother 11: If you want to live, get in the bedroom
Just spoke to my BF and she said 'I hate everyone in Big Brother. All of them.' 'What about Ben?' I asked. 'All of them.' she replied. 'But especially that new blonde one.'
I can't disagree, I am feeling everything from mild dislike to all out hatred for them too. We need a people's prince/ss.
Mario is BITTAH. I don't blame Ben for ditching Rachel. She's awful!
JJ wants to win anything, no matter what it is. World's biggest prick competition? Oh no, that's gone to old crab eyes. But at least he's handsome.
Rachel is coming off like a bunny boiler! There's less sexual chemistry between her and Ben than Ben and Dave.
24 task! Look at the tree's sparkly knobs! Fancy! Andrew is no Jack Bauer. Andrew enjoyed shouting at people! He likes swearing it up.
Dave pronounces tooth like we do at lightupvirginmary towers. TUTH! Andrew is good at this task. OMG this made me cry with laughter. Andrew is scary when he's angry! He's just freestyling the 'hands on your heads' stuff.
My respect for Andrew just went up a millionfold. 'That felt amazing!' LOL.
What is with Dave? Why is he stirring! It was clear what Ben said was a joke. Ben, why are you even bothering with Rachel? She's just a mouth unattached to a brain. Rachel, you're not his girlfriend. Is he not allowed to speak to a new person?
Dave saying Ben was 'on her like a cheap suit'. Gross.
JJ is NOT good looking. He looks like a confused chipmunk. Or 'like Toby Anstis infused with acorn DNA' ?! according to my boyfriend. He should write this shit, not me.
Rachel is so unendingly thick that if you gave her a book to read, she's probably try and eat it.
Andrew in the diary room! OUTSIDE PEOPLE! I give up. Do you think Andrew was enjoying that?! I think he needed a cold shower. Is he going to go jerk off?
Star jump tyranny! Andrew is a sadistic little fucker.
JJ and John James's 'friendship' is just a self-appreciation society. It's like wanking off in front of a mirror, like Jason from Nadia's year in BB admitted to once (vomit). It's tedious.
JJ: 'I didn't expect anyone to fancy me'. I'm not surprised with that munchkin mush.
Corin... don't you have a girlfriend? Naughty.
I can't disagree, I am feeling everything from mild dislike to all out hatred for them too. We need a people's prince/ss.
Mario is BITTAH. I don't blame Ben for ditching Rachel. She's awful!
JJ wants to win anything, no matter what it is. World's biggest prick competition? Oh no, that's gone to old crab eyes. But at least he's handsome.
Rachel is coming off like a bunny boiler! There's less sexual chemistry between her and Ben than Ben and Dave.
24 task! Look at the tree's sparkly knobs! Fancy! Andrew is no Jack Bauer. Andrew enjoyed shouting at people! He likes swearing it up.
Dave pronounces tooth like we do at lightupvirginmary towers. TUTH! Andrew is good at this task. OMG this made me cry with laughter. Andrew is scary when he's angry! He's just freestyling the 'hands on your heads' stuff.
My respect for Andrew just went up a millionfold. 'That felt amazing!' LOL.
What is with Dave? Why is he stirring! It was clear what Ben said was a joke. Ben, why are you even bothering with Rachel? She's just a mouth unattached to a brain. Rachel, you're not his girlfriend. Is he not allowed to speak to a new person?
Dave saying Ben was 'on her like a cheap suit'. Gross.
JJ is NOT good looking. He looks like a confused chipmunk. Or 'like Toby Anstis infused with acorn DNA' ?! according to my boyfriend. He should write this shit, not me.
Rachel is so unendingly thick that if you gave her a book to read, she's probably try and eat it.
Andrew in the diary room! OUTSIDE PEOPLE! I give up. Do you think Andrew was enjoying that?! I think he needed a cold shower. Is he going to go jerk off?
Star jump tyranny! Andrew is a sadistic little fucker.
JJ and John James's 'friendship' is just a self-appreciation society. It's like wanking off in front of a mirror, like Jason from Nadia's year in BB admitted to once (vomit). It's tedious.
JJ: 'I didn't expect anyone to fancy me'. I'm not surprised with that munchkin mush.
Corin... don't you have a girlfriend? Naughty.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Dave Ja Vu
JJ has got his name on his back! Is that in case he forgets it? Vain, boring, dull. These new housemates are getting on my nerves. Jo strikes me as insincere and possibly controlling. Laura is just nothingy, just telling them things she shouldn't and being pointless. They are draining the house. We need BIG personalities. It's just more dead wood.
John James and JJ's love-in is even duller than the one with Josie. Josie even seems jealous of THAT! Get a grip, love.
OMG JJ has been telling John James about his 'fans'! I hate this new housemate bullshit. I HATE it! They ruin the new dynamics of the house.
Ben being put out because he's not seem as a 'hunk' in the house. Come on, Ben, you're many things but you're not a hunk, I'm afraid. Mind you, nor's Pinnochio.
I hate all this macho bullshit. No one wanted to arm-wrestle when Ben wanted to.
Josie picking a bogie out of John James's nose! He didn't bat an eyelid! Andrew did though. I personally keep my finger out of other people's noses, no matter how much I fancy them.
Laura, you've been called in five times because you can't keep your mouth shut, you stupid bitch. Seriously, I'm pissed off with these new housemates.
This Dave ja vu task reminds me of my best friend in two ways. 1. She always laughs at the channel called Dave Ja Vu. 2. If I see her twice in a week, she'll tell me the same story both times. She's got the memory span of a gnat.
Mario is bitter because he wants a special little friend! Steve is bitter because he's lost his special little friend.
JJ trying to convince himself he likes Josie because John James does. Pathetic. Stop kissing arse. You wouldn't speak to Josie in a million years normally because you're deluded you're some kind of hot stuff and not just a shop mannequin (barely) come to life. He's just nothing on a stick.
Sweetie party! Mario is hiding in the toilet, waiting for someone to notice.
Steve is pissed off with the new housemates coming into HIS house. I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same. Rachel, Steve and Mario are so wrapped up in their own misery they can't really comfort each other.
Time for some double evictions!
John James and JJ's love-in is even duller than the one with Josie. Josie even seems jealous of THAT! Get a grip, love.
OMG JJ has been telling John James about his 'fans'! I hate this new housemate bullshit. I HATE it! They ruin the new dynamics of the house.
Ben being put out because he's not seem as a 'hunk' in the house. Come on, Ben, you're many things but you're not a hunk, I'm afraid. Mind you, nor's Pinnochio.
I hate all this macho bullshit. No one wanted to arm-wrestle when Ben wanted to.
Josie picking a bogie out of John James's nose! He didn't bat an eyelid! Andrew did though. I personally keep my finger out of other people's noses, no matter how much I fancy them.
Laura, you've been called in five times because you can't keep your mouth shut, you stupid bitch. Seriously, I'm pissed off with these new housemates.
This Dave ja vu task reminds me of my best friend in two ways. 1. She always laughs at the channel called Dave Ja Vu. 2. If I see her twice in a week, she'll tell me the same story both times. She's got the memory span of a gnat.
Mario is bitter because he wants a special little friend! Steve is bitter because he's lost his special little friend.
JJ trying to convince himself he likes Josie because John James does. Pathetic. Stop kissing arse. You wouldn't speak to Josie in a million years normally because you're deluded you're some kind of hot stuff and not just a shop mannequin (barely) come to life. He's just nothing on a stick.
Sweetie party! Mario is hiding in the toilet, waiting for someone to notice.
Steve is pissed off with the new housemates coming into HIS house. I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same. Rachel, Steve and Mario are so wrapped up in their own misery they can't really comfort each other.
Time for some double evictions!
Saturday, 24 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Showmancing the stone
If Ben and Rachel had a row last night, why didn't they show it? Too busy crawling up Andrew Stone's arse. Boo.
What different ways does Ben shower? With the watering can in the garden. Ben is under pressure tonight. I don't like it when they all have a pop at him.
Steve is pining for Keeley! That romance is OVER. OVER.
Rachel is being a right uppity bitch lately. Don't give Ben back-chat. Just let him take your bed and suck it up. I'm glad she got a wake up call when loads of the new housemates said she was annoying on those clips. Oh, and put your top on.
Shame Keeley's gone in a way as she exposed something in Steve, but she would have been out anyway this week. Needless to say, Steve's glass eye has been packed away.
John James/ Josie love-in. I don't get why they always say he doesn't fancy her, he clearly does. They are quite co-dependant. I reckon they'll probably snog within the next five days.
Look at Steve stroking Rachel's neck! It's very intimate. There's no physical barriers in that house, it's peculiar. Everyone is fair game for a bit of a frink.
Why do we have to sit through that 'performance' twice? I think my boyfriend put it best when he said 'they rehearsed that?'
WHY DIDNT JOEL GET IN??? JJ is useless, he's just a pointy little shrew. He started talking about football on the live feed as soon as he got in there. Tubbs would have been loads better. Democracy fail.
Poor Laura having to introduce herself with 'I'm so sorry'. Whoops. She reminds me of Shell from yesteryear. I fear Ben may still be lacking intellectual conversation as it's just more idiot holes.
Dave, lay off that champagne, save yourself for the Lord. Why are Ben and Dave crawling up Rachel's arse? She's higher up the pecking order than any new housemates anyway. They should fear her if anything.
Dave is being especially creepy tonight.
Mario saying JJ is beautiful. He was clearly left too long sitting in front of Pinnochio as a child. If you tap him on the head it would probably echo.
Laura is getting on my nerves already and Jo doesn't want to argue with anyone. What's the point?
Yeah John James doesn't fancy Josie, that's why he's put his football shirt on. Come on now, what do you want, a written invitation? JUST SNOG ALREADY.
The term 'cougar' is sexist bullshit. No wonder Dave keeps saying it.
WTF Laura comes in that house and says 'John James goes to the diary room saying this...' SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT, FFS. This new housemate stuff is bullshit, they can't keep their fucking traps shut.
I think Jo wants to be John James's bride, not Josie!
Aw to the 'I love you's. I'm a sucker for a showmance.
What different ways does Ben shower? With the watering can in the garden. Ben is under pressure tonight. I don't like it when they all have a pop at him.
Steve is pining for Keeley! That romance is OVER. OVER.
Rachel is being a right uppity bitch lately. Don't give Ben back-chat. Just let him take your bed and suck it up. I'm glad she got a wake up call when loads of the new housemates said she was annoying on those clips. Oh, and put your top on.
Shame Keeley's gone in a way as she exposed something in Steve, but she would have been out anyway this week. Needless to say, Steve's glass eye has been packed away.
John James/ Josie love-in. I don't get why they always say he doesn't fancy her, he clearly does. They are quite co-dependant. I reckon they'll probably snog within the next five days.
Look at Steve stroking Rachel's neck! It's very intimate. There's no physical barriers in that house, it's peculiar. Everyone is fair game for a bit of a frink.
Why do we have to sit through that 'performance' twice? I think my boyfriend put it best when he said 'they rehearsed that?'
WHY DIDNT JOEL GET IN??? JJ is useless, he's just a pointy little shrew. He started talking about football on the live feed as soon as he got in there. Tubbs would have been loads better. Democracy fail.
Poor Laura having to introduce herself with 'I'm so sorry'. Whoops. She reminds me of Shell from yesteryear. I fear Ben may still be lacking intellectual conversation as it's just more idiot holes.
Dave, lay off that champagne, save yourself for the Lord. Why are Ben and Dave crawling up Rachel's arse? She's higher up the pecking order than any new housemates anyway. They should fear her if anything.
Dave is being especially creepy tonight.
Mario saying JJ is beautiful. He was clearly left too long sitting in front of Pinnochio as a child. If you tap him on the head it would probably echo.
Laura is getting on my nerves already and Jo doesn't want to argue with anyone. What's the point?
Yeah John James doesn't fancy Josie, that's why he's put his football shirt on. Come on now, what do you want, a written invitation? JUST SNOG ALREADY.
The term 'cougar' is sexist bullshit. No wonder Dave keeps saying it.
WTF Laura comes in that house and says 'John James goes to the diary room saying this...' SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT, FFS. This new housemate stuff is bullshit, they can't keep their fucking traps shut.
I think Jo wants to be John James's bride, not Josie!
Aw to the 'I love you's. I'm a sucker for a showmance.
Friday, 23 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Hurty Dancing
Keeley not going back in? Weird! My only guess is she's seen the papers, seen she's been 'lovematched' with Steve and run as far away as possible. And who can blame her? They're not even going to interview her, are they?!
Not more of this Pineapple bullshit. Sink the fucker and give Spongebob a holiday home!
Could doing a bit of dancing be Steve's biggest challenge? No I'd say that was probably LEARNING TO WALK AGAIN WITH NO LEGS, you insensitive cunt.
Mario is being a whiny little bitch this week. I'm fed up with this task. It's got fuck all to do with reality, housemate interaction, or anything that Big Brother is all about. IT'S BULLSHIT.
I thought it was odd John James was saying something positive and it turned out it was just the start of the music video! The video was quite funny actually, as long as Ben was in shot anyway. Ben is a LEGEND. A real one, not like Raoul Moat. Josie looked cute. Rachel gets on my nerves, she's so relentlessly chirpy.
Ben does sound a bit like Simon Cowell.
Andrew Stone you have been evicted. PLEASE leave the Big Brother house. Please.
Dave is being a total dick this week. Burn him!
I think Josie is being a bit unfair flirting with Andrew, especially when she fancies John James so much, and Andrew is so clearly a virgin.
Three new housemates! They are getting desperate. I wouldn't trust that house to pick an outfit, let alone three people to entertain me.
Why are they bothering with this Keever interview? You walked. You don't deserve the Davina treatment. What is she wearing? A leotard and a shawl? Davina looks haggard. Eat a sandwich, you look like Skeletor.
I want the housemates to get a good booing when they come out those doors, nothing else. Oh dear, this is a car crash. Should have gone for John James and Josie instead. IS CORIN BUZZING? ARE YOU LOVING IT? Andrew looks like he's been put through a washing machine. He's pallid!
What's a USP? Not a good start. God, they look like a right rag-tag brood.
Jo seemed quite nice. Josie won't let her in. JJ looks like a puppet with a scunt on. Megan seemed quite nice. Joel: not so sexy. Laura is bubbly. She looks skinny to me. I like Sam! More geeks please. Don't think he'll get in though.
Tension! John James seems to have just picked whoever he wanted! I think I would have picked the other three exactly.
They should have picked the big black guy, I reckon. They definitely picked the wrong blonde girl. Steve had the deciding say! There's going to be trouble. Cue much thumb-sucking. It feels like we're back to square one!
Not more of this Pineapple bullshit. Sink the fucker and give Spongebob a holiday home!
Could doing a bit of dancing be Steve's biggest challenge? No I'd say that was probably LEARNING TO WALK AGAIN WITH NO LEGS, you insensitive cunt.
Mario is being a whiny little bitch this week. I'm fed up with this task. It's got fuck all to do with reality, housemate interaction, or anything that Big Brother is all about. IT'S BULLSHIT.
I thought it was odd John James was saying something positive and it turned out it was just the start of the music video! The video was quite funny actually, as long as Ben was in shot anyway. Ben is a LEGEND. A real one, not like Raoul Moat. Josie looked cute. Rachel gets on my nerves, she's so relentlessly chirpy.
Ben does sound a bit like Simon Cowell.
Andrew Stone you have been evicted. PLEASE leave the Big Brother house. Please.
Dave is being a total dick this week. Burn him!
I think Josie is being a bit unfair flirting with Andrew, especially when she fancies John James so much, and Andrew is so clearly a virgin.
Three new housemates! They are getting desperate. I wouldn't trust that house to pick an outfit, let alone three people to entertain me.
Why are they bothering with this Keever interview? You walked. You don't deserve the Davina treatment. What is she wearing? A leotard and a shawl? Davina looks haggard. Eat a sandwich, you look like Skeletor.
I want the housemates to get a good booing when they come out those doors, nothing else. Oh dear, this is a car crash. Should have gone for John James and Josie instead. IS CORIN BUZZING? ARE YOU LOVING IT? Andrew looks like he's been put through a washing machine. He's pallid!
What's a USP? Not a good start. God, they look like a right rag-tag brood.
Jo seemed quite nice. Josie won't let her in. JJ looks like a puppet with a scunt on. Megan seemed quite nice. Joel: not so sexy. Laura is bubbly. She looks skinny to me. I like Sam! More geeks please. Don't think he'll get in though.
Tension! John James seems to have just picked whoever he wanted! I think I would have picked the other three exactly.
They should have picked the big black guy, I reckon. They definitely picked the wrong blonde girl. Steve had the deciding say! There's going to be trouble. Cue much thumb-sucking. It feels like we're back to square one!
Thursday, 22 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Take me to the hospital
Some thoughts from last night too as I was out dahn the pub like some sort of normal person. I don't buy Keeley's sowwweee act for a minute. Josie made herself look cheap by not saying goodbye to Keever. Keever was cool whilst leaving. At least she said goodbye, which is more than Shabby did. John James crying over it must have stuck in Josie's craw. Don't cry, crab eyes. Put your little pincer in mine, I'll make it alright. Josie's counselling skills were poor. My friend still wants Josie to win! WHY??? She's hopeless!
Rachel's 'romance' doesn't right true since she nominated Ben, therefore she's not interesting again. Another utterly pointless person in there.
I don't care who goes out of Rachel, Corin or Keeley. The newbies didn't take it in very good spirit.
Spider scamper task! Rachel's still going! Mean. I've seen a new side to her today (well, yesterday). She's not upset about her friend being hurt. She's upset because she's unpopular.
How can Keeley put John James up now he's helped her to the diary room after her itty bitty accident? Hehe. John James is a legend.
Oh, it's have a go at Ben time. Blah. John's been spoiling for an argument since Keever left.
Oh Steve and Keeley's emotional farewell, it's like Romeo and Juliet. Hurting your ankle is a bugger, though.
WHY ARE THEY GIVING ANDREW HIS EXAM RESULTS? He's in the Big Brother house, he's not meant to have contact with the outside world. Oh, I give up. What's Andrew studying anyway?
It's got to the point where I don't even care if John and Josie have a snog now. They are dead to me! Why is he extracting that information from her in such great detail and then saying he doesn't fancy her? He's created that situation from start to finish. His threats to leave are about as genuine as his hair colour.
NEXT show. Sorry, those 'few notes from yesterday' got a bit out of hand.
Argh, Glee. I can't stand musical theatre, singing, dancing, musicals, Pineapple Dance Studios or any of that bullshit. The only glee I like is 'all manner of it' in Meds by Placebo.
Couldn't they even have afforded Louis Spence? This whole Glee/ Don't Stop Believing link up makes me even more suspicious that channel Five is going to buy Big Brother. They are always pushing Big Brother on Live from Studio Five too.
Andrew Stone: even less famous than H from Steps, who was essentially just a stepladder for Donny Tourette (I know, who?)
Mario vs Ben: Mario is so pompous sometimes! Why is Dave shit-stirring? Zzzz.
Eek this singing is rough.
John James sounded like Jason Donovan compared to the others.
We have got our EYE on Steve in the Big Brother house and he's not got his eye in whilst Keeley's not there. Bet it's back in once she hobbles back. Fact. He could carry a note more than some of the others though.
Ben, try smiling when they announce evictions have been cancelled, it might help you out next week. It's a shame it got cancelled on the one week when I would have been happy to see all of them go.
I don't want Big Brother to force Josie and John James to get it on for some Glee rubbish. It's stupid. Even Mario thinks so. Ha, bet they're gutted Steve got picked instead.
My boyfriend just called Andre out as being Tamwar from Eastenders. It's so true!
I'm glad I wrote a blog yesterday as there's fuck all to write about tonight; it's all 100% flim-flam.
If that's John James not leading Josie on, I'd hate to see him giving her the cold shoulder. A girl would be called a prick-tease. John is just John being John! Grr.
Imagine living with someone that long and not even knowing they had a dead husband. Weird.
Dave is about as popular as herpes. Quite popular, yet still very unwelcome.
ARGH STOP SINGING.
Tamwar is mad for Josie! Only because she's more likely to get off with him than Keever was. He's quoting journals; long-distance relationships don't work. Ouch.
I bet Steve is so happy to be patronised by some twat off of Sky. I liked Andwar ripping into him.
Two BBs in one day is punishment! Give me the respect I d-e-s-e-r-v-e.
Rachel's 'romance' doesn't right true since she nominated Ben, therefore she's not interesting again. Another utterly pointless person in there.
I don't care who goes out of Rachel, Corin or Keeley. The newbies didn't take it in very good spirit.
Spider scamper task! Rachel's still going! Mean. I've seen a new side to her today (well, yesterday). She's not upset about her friend being hurt. She's upset because she's unpopular.
How can Keeley put John James up now he's helped her to the diary room after her itty bitty accident? Hehe. John James is a legend.
Oh, it's have a go at Ben time. Blah. John's been spoiling for an argument since Keever left.
Oh Steve and Keeley's emotional farewell, it's like Romeo and Juliet. Hurting your ankle is a bugger, though.
WHY ARE THEY GIVING ANDREW HIS EXAM RESULTS? He's in the Big Brother house, he's not meant to have contact with the outside world. Oh, I give up. What's Andrew studying anyway?
It's got to the point where I don't even care if John and Josie have a snog now. They are dead to me! Why is he extracting that information from her in such great detail and then saying he doesn't fancy her? He's created that situation from start to finish. His threats to leave are about as genuine as his hair colour.
NEXT show. Sorry, those 'few notes from yesterday' got a bit out of hand.
Argh, Glee. I can't stand musical theatre, singing, dancing, musicals, Pineapple Dance Studios or any of that bullshit. The only glee I like is 'all manner of it' in Meds by Placebo.
Couldn't they even have afforded Louis Spence? This whole Glee/ Don't Stop Believing link up makes me even more suspicious that channel Five is going to buy Big Brother. They are always pushing Big Brother on Live from Studio Five too.
Andrew Stone: even less famous than H from Steps, who was essentially just a stepladder for Donny Tourette (I know, who?)
Mario vs Ben: Mario is so pompous sometimes! Why is Dave shit-stirring? Zzzz.
Eek this singing is rough.
John James sounded like Jason Donovan compared to the others.
We have got our EYE on Steve in the Big Brother house and he's not got his eye in whilst Keeley's not there. Bet it's back in once she hobbles back. Fact. He could carry a note more than some of the others though.
Ben, try smiling when they announce evictions have been cancelled, it might help you out next week. It's a shame it got cancelled on the one week when I would have been happy to see all of them go.
I don't want Big Brother to force Josie and John James to get it on for some Glee rubbish. It's stupid. Even Mario thinks so. Ha, bet they're gutted Steve got picked instead.
My boyfriend just called Andre out as being Tamwar from Eastenders. It's so true!
I'm glad I wrote a blog yesterday as there's fuck all to write about tonight; it's all 100% flim-flam.
If that's John James not leading Josie on, I'd hate to see him giving her the cold shoulder. A girl would be called a prick-tease. John is just John being John! Grr.
Imagine living with someone that long and not even knowing they had a dead husband. Weird.
Dave is about as popular as herpes. Quite popular, yet still very unwelcome.
ARGH STOP SINGING.
Tamwar is mad for Josie! Only because she's more likely to get off with him than Keever was. He's quoting journals; long-distance relationships don't work. Ouch.
I bet Steve is so happy to be patronised by some twat off of Sky. I liked Andwar ripping into him.
Two BBs in one day is punishment! Give me the respect I d-e-s-e-r-v-e.
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Night Keever
So Keever's left. And Josie's kingdom has crumbled to dust. I'm sad Keever's gone. Surely Josie's chances of winning left with her?
I'm just imaging Ben in the army. Ace.
Josie has gone so far down in my estimation it's untrue. She was no match for Keever's effortless sexiness. I was watching a bunch of live feed today, and Keever just looks naughty ALL THE TIME! She's just smirking, basically. It would probably have driven me mad, too.
Andrew nominating one of his own newbies?! Boo hiss! Corin nominating Keever. Every day IS a drag when you're cool! It's the antithesis of buzzing. Nominating Rachel because she's her competition, I reckon.
Dave being put in a compromising position by Keever. In your dreams, dude. Sexist cunt.
Keeley is right; John James should smile more. I don't mind Keeley. At least she provokes.
Josie: Keever can jump on anyone she likes with nothing on. You can't stop her.
OK I take back what I said about Keeley. Why should Keever 'take Dave into consideration' before she has a laugh? She didn't even get her boobs out! Remember Bex, Makosi, that plastic Irish idiot? Remember Kinga? They could have shown Dave a thing or two.
Glad Mario nommed Josie.
What! Rachel is nominating Ben? I thought she fancied him! Bedgate. Just share, it'd be easier.
Rachel got quite a lot of nominations. Notice Steve didn't nominate Keeley. His wife must be fuming. Have we got to put up with another week of Dave now? Fuck me.
Rachel: 'it's women's fault men cheat'. Oh God.
John James, I don't think Keeley is interested in talking to you, so no worries, mate. That house is so full of sexists now, it makes me sick.
I wondered why Keever was wearing a badge with 'winner' on it on the live feed. Tight off! Josie and Andrew aren't similarly sized! My boyfriend just said 'Corin looks like she's been hit with a poker in the face'.
What a punishment for John and Josie! Touching each other up! Cheap. And it encourages bad behaviour.
LOL to Keeley calling Steve up for always being the referee or adjudicator in tasks! Next she'll be taking the mick out of his metal leg. And calling John 'Captain Drama' is good.
Dave calls Keever 'the daughter of darkness'. Cool. Josie, stop being so desperate. It's tragic. People are allowed to flirt.
I don't blame Keever for choosing love over the Big Brother house. Love is better. Big Brother should have just told her that her boyfriend was happy for her to stay, they virtually trapped John James in there.
How Dave can justify getting naked in there after the way he spoke about Keever is a mind-boggling hypocrisy that only a Christian could get away with.
I hate them geeing Josie up at the detriment of Keever.
Is the Lord's sign for Keever the spray-tanned cross on Dave's bloated body? You look like a fucking hot-cross bun with a willy.
Keever wasn't even slagging off Steve! Keeley is a knob. She wasn't even slagging anyone off. Keeley was earwigging in that conversation. ARGH. How annoying Keever has left now.
For personal dignity; try not going in the Big Brother house.
I'm just imaging Ben in the army. Ace.
Josie has gone so far down in my estimation it's untrue. She was no match for Keever's effortless sexiness. I was watching a bunch of live feed today, and Keever just looks naughty ALL THE TIME! She's just smirking, basically. It would probably have driven me mad, too.
Andrew nominating one of his own newbies?! Boo hiss! Corin nominating Keever. Every day IS a drag when you're cool! It's the antithesis of buzzing. Nominating Rachel because she's her competition, I reckon.
Dave being put in a compromising position by Keever. In your dreams, dude. Sexist cunt.
Keeley is right; John James should smile more. I don't mind Keeley. At least she provokes.
Josie: Keever can jump on anyone she likes with nothing on. You can't stop her.
OK I take back what I said about Keeley. Why should Keever 'take Dave into consideration' before she has a laugh? She didn't even get her boobs out! Remember Bex, Makosi, that plastic Irish idiot? Remember Kinga? They could have shown Dave a thing or two.
Glad Mario nommed Josie.
What! Rachel is nominating Ben? I thought she fancied him! Bedgate. Just share, it'd be easier.
Rachel got quite a lot of nominations. Notice Steve didn't nominate Keeley. His wife must be fuming. Have we got to put up with another week of Dave now? Fuck me.
Rachel: 'it's women's fault men cheat'. Oh God.
John James, I don't think Keeley is interested in talking to you, so no worries, mate. That house is so full of sexists now, it makes me sick.
I wondered why Keever was wearing a badge with 'winner' on it on the live feed. Tight off! Josie and Andrew aren't similarly sized! My boyfriend just said 'Corin looks like she's been hit with a poker in the face'.
What a punishment for John and Josie! Touching each other up! Cheap. And it encourages bad behaviour.
LOL to Keeley calling Steve up for always being the referee or adjudicator in tasks! Next she'll be taking the mick out of his metal leg. And calling John 'Captain Drama' is good.
Dave calls Keever 'the daughter of darkness'. Cool. Josie, stop being so desperate. It's tragic. People are allowed to flirt.
I don't blame Keever for choosing love over the Big Brother house. Love is better. Big Brother should have just told her that her boyfriend was happy for her to stay, they virtually trapped John James in there.
How Dave can justify getting naked in there after the way he spoke about Keever is a mind-boggling hypocrisy that only a Christian could get away with.
I hate them geeing Josie up at the detriment of Keever.
Is the Lord's sign for Keever the spray-tanned cross on Dave's bloated body? You look like a fucking hot-cross bun with a willy.
Keever wasn't even slagging off Steve! Keeley is a knob. She wasn't even slagging anyone off. Keeley was earwigging in that conversation. ARGH. How annoying Keever has left now.
For personal dignity; try not going in the Big Brother house.
Monday, 19 July 2010
Big Brother 11: The opposite of buzzing
Oh God. It's like Groundhog Day in that house. It's all jealousy, possessiveness, creepiness and threats to leave. There's not even any romance. Not really.
Did Keever just say she needs to do a nervous shit? Goodness me. Is she yacking? Oh dear. I cant work out of she's really embarrassed or just faking it.
Is that really STEVE PASSING JUDGEMENT on people's conduct in that house? That is really rich.
I get the impression Keever AND Josie are both loving this. Much more than us viewers anyway. I wish we had someone to really champion this year. I feel like I can't be doing with any of 'em.
This mic switching off thing is bullshit. Can't they get someone to lipread it? Come on, for fuck's sake. It's just the same old shit anyway. John James brain-cam; nope, nothing going on in there, no matter how close you get.
I don't care what John James says; he loves it too. He is lapping it up.
Rachel imaging Ben on a grand piano! LOL! I'm not sure he fancies her, but he might get desperate enough in there. I reckon he'd get off with her just to be polite.
I really like Keever's hair right now. I want to look like a boy in an 80s band, too.
Mario's t-shirt is nice with the butterflies on.
Oh, Josie. Why SHOULDN'T John James like you? You're both totally psycho. Sounds like a match made in heaven. You'll never get a bloke with that attitude. Actually, you're worth a lot more than him, nice teeth or not.
Ah. Keeley's backing off now Steve's been sniffing her pillow! But she was in the diary room with him going 'we're Posh and Becks'. Keeley's been out with a footballer... how tedious. Is Steve going to nominate Keeley tomorrow? Bet he does. Yeah, that's fool the wife.
Food fight... always ends in a ruck. I love the fact everyone is in party dresses and Josie is in a rank old man's dressing gown. John James's dancing was funny.
Keever looks hot tonight. Josie must be seething. Love Ben and Rachel's paralytic cuddling.
Josie is not whiter than white to be calling Keever cruel. I've heard Josie slag off most people in that house, and she was pretty cruel to John James when he was threatening to leave.
Dur, you're not allowed to say you want to be nominated! Josie should stop slagging Keever, it's just driving her into John James's arms. Keever is getting off on it. Keever is a man/ woman eater. She takes no prisoners. I'd be scared of her around MY boyfriend!
Did Keever just say she needs to do a nervous shit? Goodness me. Is she yacking? Oh dear. I cant work out of she's really embarrassed or just faking it.
Is that really STEVE PASSING JUDGEMENT on people's conduct in that house? That is really rich.
I get the impression Keever AND Josie are both loving this. Much more than us viewers anyway. I wish we had someone to really champion this year. I feel like I can't be doing with any of 'em.
This mic switching off thing is bullshit. Can't they get someone to lipread it? Come on, for fuck's sake. It's just the same old shit anyway. John James brain-cam; nope, nothing going on in there, no matter how close you get.
I don't care what John James says; he loves it too. He is lapping it up.
Rachel imaging Ben on a grand piano! LOL! I'm not sure he fancies her, but he might get desperate enough in there. I reckon he'd get off with her just to be polite.
I really like Keever's hair right now. I want to look like a boy in an 80s band, too.
Mario's t-shirt is nice with the butterflies on.
Oh, Josie. Why SHOULDN'T John James like you? You're both totally psycho. Sounds like a match made in heaven. You'll never get a bloke with that attitude. Actually, you're worth a lot more than him, nice teeth or not.
Ah. Keeley's backing off now Steve's been sniffing her pillow! But she was in the diary room with him going 'we're Posh and Becks'. Keeley's been out with a footballer... how tedious. Is Steve going to nominate Keeley tomorrow? Bet he does. Yeah, that's fool the wife.
Food fight... always ends in a ruck. I love the fact everyone is in party dresses and Josie is in a rank old man's dressing gown. John James's dancing was funny.
Keever looks hot tonight. Josie must be seething. Love Ben and Rachel's paralytic cuddling.
Josie is not whiter than white to be calling Keever cruel. I've heard Josie slag off most people in that house, and she was pretty cruel to John James when he was threatening to leave.
Dur, you're not allowed to say you want to be nominated! Josie should stop slagging Keever, it's just driving her into John James's arms. Keever is getting off on it. Keever is a man/ woman eater. She takes no prisoners. I'd be scared of her around MY boyfriend!
Sunday, 18 July 2010
Big Brother 11: The ocean of hypocrisy
First blog I missed last night! Sowwee. I was in not fit state. I thought John James was on fire last night; he stuck it to absolutely everyone. I think he definitely does fancy Josie; his face lit up when that parrot said Josie fancied him. Why didn't they make the parrot repeat when Steve said about Keeley being poison? I didn't like Keeley having a pop at John James either, he's providing more entertainment than her and her creepy showmance.
DAVE IS A HYPOCRITE! He was laughing his head off when Mario stripped (again) and got his gigantic balls out (allegedly, we've still not seen them). SOMEONE CALL HIM OUT! I hate him so much. Keever should have sent him packing last week. So much for love for everyone. Everyone except women.
Josie Lee Collins is being an absolute arsehole. YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT WITH JOHN JAMES! He is NOT YOUR PROPERTY. I like the fact Keever is putting the cat amongst the pigeons. I'm tired of the bullshit; get it on or fuck off. It's tiresome.
Keever: 'let's get our tits out tonight!' Have you noticed how since Keeley entered the house, Steve has started wearing his glass eye. Just saying.
Josie is starting to do a Michelle Bass. She really needs to reign herself in before she goes gaga. She is making an absolute tool of herself.
Josie, I hope Keever pisses in your ocean, you bitter old shrew. Why not try getting off with John James rather than arguing with him every day? I have mainly been on her side up to now, but she has lost it today. She has lost all sense of perspective.
What is Steve on about oceans, too? I think there's been an oil slick in that ocean. I'm sure his wife will be delighted to know he feels jealous over someone he called poison and who's been in the house about ten minutes.
Andrew was brave to stand up to John James about the hat issue. Josie is pushing Keever and John closer together with her loopy behaviour.
Why is Steve crying? Is it because he's pissing his marriage up the wall? STOP DOING IT THEN.
Aw, Ben is so cute. I wish he could win it. He might not be a 'team player' but he's actually much more decent than all of them put together. He gets a really hard time. Shirley Bassey though? Just come out of that closet, Ben.
I had to fast forward Corin's singing but I think Ben's face said it all. Did they really just spend three minutes on that? Misjudged.
OMG did Rachel just say she was attracted to Ben?! Ha, and then Mario flounced off! That house is so full of creepiness and jealousy at the moment that it could combust at any minute. I'd love to see Ben and Rachel get it on, it would be hilarious.
John James is lying, he DOES fancy Josie now, he just doesn't want to admit it. Drop the brother and sister thing. I don't go on like that with my brother. It would be SICK. Sick!
DAVE IS A HYPOCRITE! He was laughing his head off when Mario stripped (again) and got his gigantic balls out (allegedly, we've still not seen them). SOMEONE CALL HIM OUT! I hate him so much. Keever should have sent him packing last week. So much for love for everyone. Everyone except women.
Josie Lee Collins is being an absolute arsehole. YOU ARE NOT GOING OUT WITH JOHN JAMES! He is NOT YOUR PROPERTY. I like the fact Keever is putting the cat amongst the pigeons. I'm tired of the bullshit; get it on or fuck off. It's tiresome.
Keever: 'let's get our tits out tonight!' Have you noticed how since Keeley entered the house, Steve has started wearing his glass eye. Just saying.
Josie is starting to do a Michelle Bass. She really needs to reign herself in before she goes gaga. She is making an absolute tool of herself.
Josie, I hope Keever pisses in your ocean, you bitter old shrew. Why not try getting off with John James rather than arguing with him every day? I have mainly been on her side up to now, but she has lost it today. She has lost all sense of perspective.
What is Steve on about oceans, too? I think there's been an oil slick in that ocean. I'm sure his wife will be delighted to know he feels jealous over someone he called poison and who's been in the house about ten minutes.
Andrew was brave to stand up to John James about the hat issue. Josie is pushing Keever and John closer together with her loopy behaviour.
Why is Steve crying? Is it because he's pissing his marriage up the wall? STOP DOING IT THEN.
Aw, Ben is so cute. I wish he could win it. He might not be a 'team player' but he's actually much more decent than all of them put together. He gets a really hard time. Shirley Bassey though? Just come out of that closet, Ben.
I had to fast forward Corin's singing but I think Ben's face said it all. Did they really just spend three minutes on that? Misjudged.
OMG did Rachel just say she was attracted to Ben?! Ha, and then Mario flounced off! That house is so full of creepiness and jealousy at the moment that it could combust at any minute. I'd love to see Ben and Rachel get it on, it would be hilarious.
John James is lying, he DOES fancy Josie now, he just doesn't want to admit it. Drop the brother and sister thing. I don't go on like that with my brother. It would be SICK. Sick!
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