I know it sounds tragic but my heart soared tonight watching the BBUSA launch show (which aired in the US on Thursday night). It reminds me of such a happy time in my life, when my boyfriend and I just sat in bed for six months watching about 8 seasons of it (actually maybe more). The Glass House can't even begin to compare to the magical drama, backstabbing, and unfairness of Big Brother USA. I have fallen in love (Kaysar, Dan, Janelle, Rachel - yes, Rachel!), hate (Cappy, Jessie, Matty, Jeff) and just appreciated the pure entertainment (Evil Dick, and even stupid Enzo and Renee). There's also the most shocking racism and homophobia you'll ever see and
they do dick all about it, so that's good to get me angry, and I like
to be angry. People also properly break their friends hearts. It's absolutely ruthless (remember Shelly from last year?)
It makes me laugh that they bring some of the same contestants back year after year. I don't really mind though, because they are normally fucking ace and have been shafted. This time they've brought four contestants back as 'coaches'; Britney (Queen of the roll eyes), Janelle (best female player ever), Dan (probably the best male player ever, and a real football coach) and Mike 'Boogie'. Is Boogie his actual surname now? God, he's always been ugly, but he looks completely haggard now. He also looks like he's had botox, ironically. He's got devilish eyebrows going on. Couldn't we have had Dr Will instead? At least he's easy on the eye. And how come they showed Rachel, Enzo, Renee and Jessie at the start? Please, no more Jessie. Please!
Anyway, let's examine these new people. They actually seem like quite a pleasant crowd, there's not anyone stand out odious from the start (like the entire cast of The Glass House). I like the guy who said he'd been 'reading strategic books' before he went in the house. I'd love to see what they were. I like the look of Ian, who looks about 12, the blonde stupid one, the guy with the curly hair, the gay guy with the long hair who looks like a cross between Fabio and that dude off Made in Chelsea and is called Wil with one l... the nurse, quite a lot of them seem alright. What's going on!?
The house looks nice and jazzy. OMG seeing Boogie and Dr Will doing their 'bhahahaha' thing in the DR makes my toes curl. Arseholes! I hate Boogie! He won by accident! He's as bad a winner as Adam, Maggie or Jun, ffs.
I don't think Britney is going to be that good a judge as all she does is roll-eyes, and she got super-shafted in the end. All of the coaches look like they live in mansions.
This Willie guy seems kind of annoying. Hope he doesn't get Head of House. Oh.
I think Boogie picked the strongest team, tbh. I like Frank. I liked Boogie's motivational speech: 'there's a flight to JFK tonight, do you want to be on it, let's go!'
The task they did was pretty fun, I love the tasks they do, and the way they cut them, and just the whole over the topness. The fact they kicked someone out in the first night was really cruel. I'm sad it was Dan's team too, I'd like him to win, plus Jodi seemed lovely, but she was physically the weakest, and I like Danielle. But it could have been worse; a lot worse. Poor Jodi didn't even get a real interview, bless her!
Who will Willie nominate? I suspect it will be another alpha male. It's bound to be someone I like!
I'm not going to blog every episode because I think it's just too niche for my audience; I only know a couple of people who watch it here in the UK and one of them is my boyfriend! Plus it's fun to watch some shows and not have to blog. Plus I'll always be watching them a bit behind. Anyway, you can watch it here, and you should. And you should watch all the old series. It will be the best six months of your life, I promise. I wish I could have those days back when we used to watch four in a row. I've never watched a show that made my heart pound from the drama of it all. And the unfairness! So many people have fallen at the final hurdle (Marcellas!) But these are TV moments you'll remember forever. You'll probably remember them on your deathbed it's so fucking good. Viva Chenbot!
Showing posts with label Britney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Britney. Show all posts
Monday, 16 July 2012
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Big Brother USA Season 12 (so far!)
I'm actually up to date with Big Brother USA, which is good as I'm normally about five behind. As usual Big Brother USA is consistently better than our show; they create drama without shoehorning it in, they shoot it nicely, and the tasks are actually interesting, and mammoth!
The dynamics are peculiar, though, and your favourite can go at any time, as there's no public vote, and the biggest schemers stay in the longest. And the less said about the host, the better.
Each week follows a set format, head of household competition, in which the winner gets to put two people 'on the block'. (The also get a fancy head of household room, which mainly seems to have lots of junk food in it) The nominated housemates get to fight for 'POV' (Power of Veto) and one might get to take themselves off the block. Then finally, the housemates get bullied and cajoled into who to vote for, and someone gets kicked out by a crushing majority. Oh yes, nomination are discussed openly. That's the main difference from our show, and it's great. Throughout the week they cut the show so you think it's going to go in one direction, but you can normally see right through it. Still, at least they make the effort.
My favourite character this year is Rachel, a trashy scientist/stripper, who has sparked up a romance with Disney-beefcake Brendan. This has put noses out of joint throughout the house, and every one has been gunning for them ever since. One of them is looking likely to be out on their ear this week. I'll miss Rachel with her ginormous boobs, red hair extensions and a penchant for going 'don't try to come between me and MY man!' you get the feeling is Brendan actually brought her home to his mum, she'd poison Rachel's lasagne.
Rachel and Brendan's main rivals in the house are the self-styled 'brigade' a bunch of hapless, overgrown teenagers who look like they could barely complete a crossword puzzle between them. There's Enzo, who calls himself 'the meow meow'- presumably because he's such a pussy as all the tasks (nb. I had to be sexist for that joke to work). Hayden is half-vegetable, half-Tyrone off Corrie, and last week his two-timing showmantic relationship with girlfriend Kristen ended when she was shown the door in her hippytard (don't ask); not a moment too soon. She made blocks of ice look friendly. Also in the brigade: Lane, a half-loveable redneck, and Matt, a self-important prick who is pretending his wife has a terminal disease to try and bag the half a million dollars. Matt also has what looks like a girl's suitcase decorated with skulls, and pyjamas that look like a babygro. Rawk. I cannot WAIT until the brigade start picking each other off; that's the best bit about BBUSA; they all have to turn on each other in the end.
The only other person of interest in the house is super bitch-Britney. She looks like she'd bake you an apple pie and water your plants for you whilst you were away; in actual fact I wouldn't be surprised if she shat in your sink. Utterly loathsome, yet she comes out with some viciously good one-liners. I'm torn.
Then there's Kathy, a trembling 'Sheriff' who looks like she's constantly about to cry. I hope she lives somewhere with a low crime rate because I'd have more faith in that detective off Catterick.
Finally, there's a dull gay, which is a shame, as they normally do a good line in gays on this show.
Evicted so far: uptight lesbian Annie, oddball jewish dude Andrew (fantastic leaving speech though), and passive-aggressive, bulldog-chewing-a-wasp Monet. She said she was a model; she must have been modelling muzzles.
The tasks are epic; tense and expensive; they look like movie sets and are actually interesting. And then every so often, they let the housemates watch a movie as a treat, and we watch them laughing so hard at some awful straight-to-dvd comedy. Just gotta love that advertising. Shameless!
So what will happen? Will the brigade break up the power couple? Will Kathy ever win anything? But most importantly, who wants to see my head of household room?
The dynamics are peculiar, though, and your favourite can go at any time, as there's no public vote, and the biggest schemers stay in the longest. And the less said about the host, the better.
Each week follows a set format, head of household competition, in which the winner gets to put two people 'on the block'. (The also get a fancy head of household room, which mainly seems to have lots of junk food in it) The nominated housemates get to fight for 'POV' (Power of Veto) and one might get to take themselves off the block. Then finally, the housemates get bullied and cajoled into who to vote for, and someone gets kicked out by a crushing majority. Oh yes, nomination are discussed openly. That's the main difference from our show, and it's great. Throughout the week they cut the show so you think it's going to go in one direction, but you can normally see right through it. Still, at least they make the effort.
My favourite character this year is Rachel, a trashy scientist/stripper, who has sparked up a romance with Disney-beefcake Brendan. This has put noses out of joint throughout the house, and every one has been gunning for them ever since. One of them is looking likely to be out on their ear this week. I'll miss Rachel with her ginormous boobs, red hair extensions and a penchant for going 'don't try to come between me and MY man!' you get the feeling is Brendan actually brought her home to his mum, she'd poison Rachel's lasagne.
Rachel and Brendan's main rivals in the house are the self-styled 'brigade' a bunch of hapless, overgrown teenagers who look like they could barely complete a crossword puzzle between them. There's Enzo, who calls himself 'the meow meow'- presumably because he's such a pussy as all the tasks (nb. I had to be sexist for that joke to work). Hayden is half-vegetable, half-Tyrone off Corrie, and last week his two-timing showmantic relationship with girlfriend Kristen ended when she was shown the door in her hippytard (don't ask); not a moment too soon. She made blocks of ice look friendly. Also in the brigade: Lane, a half-loveable redneck, and Matt, a self-important prick who is pretending his wife has a terminal disease to try and bag the half a million dollars. Matt also has what looks like a girl's suitcase decorated with skulls, and pyjamas that look like a babygro. Rawk. I cannot WAIT until the brigade start picking each other off; that's the best bit about BBUSA; they all have to turn on each other in the end.
The only other person of interest in the house is super bitch-Britney. She looks like she'd bake you an apple pie and water your plants for you whilst you were away; in actual fact I wouldn't be surprised if she shat in your sink. Utterly loathsome, yet she comes out with some viciously good one-liners. I'm torn.
Then there's Kathy, a trembling 'Sheriff' who looks like she's constantly about to cry. I hope she lives somewhere with a low crime rate because I'd have more faith in that detective off Catterick.
Finally, there's a dull gay, which is a shame, as they normally do a good line in gays on this show.
Evicted so far: uptight lesbian Annie, oddball jewish dude Andrew (fantastic leaving speech though), and passive-aggressive, bulldog-chewing-a-wasp Monet. She said she was a model; she must have been modelling muzzles.
The tasks are epic; tense and expensive; they look like movie sets and are actually interesting. And then every so often, they let the housemates watch a movie as a treat, and we watch them laughing so hard at some awful straight-to-dvd comedy. Just gotta love that advertising. Shameless!
So what will happen? Will the brigade break up the power couple? Will Kathy ever win anything? But most importantly, who wants to see my head of household room?
Thursday, 8 March 2007
Celebrity Round-up
I'm listening to the new Arcade Fire album (which is shit so far) and TV is uninspiring lately (even Freaky Eaters sucks- aren't they meant to CURE them?) so I'm just going to rant about the world of zelebrity.
I read today that Kate Moss and Jade Goody have been nominated for Mother of the Year. I personally could not think of two worse mothers (except maybe Britney, but she's mental, which is a better excuse.) Jade Goody does not give a fuck about her kids. Kate Moss doesn't give a fuck either, or she couldn't go out with the crackhead. Simple as that. its not even a choice. It would just be a no, wouldn't it? Who the fuck votes for these things? Didn't Kerry Katona win it once too? At least she primarily looks after them, I suppose. Even if she has married that clearly-psychotic crow-faced control freak. I give that six months. In fact, he might even kill her. He's took her phone off her so her friends have to go through him! Eep. That's the sound of several alarm bells. Take heed, Katona, you coke-headed chavtopus.
Britney is just too boring now really: one thing I will say is just STOP IT to all these people who keep saying they 'feel sorry for her'. I couldn't feel less sorry. Does Britney have to get up at 7.30am? Does Britney have to buy clothes for a tenner and get her hair cut by students? Does Britney live in a box in Holloway? Britney is stupid. It is her stupidity that has made her ill. She will either die or get better. Ho hum.
You can tell I've been reading too much OK/ Heat because I'm really fucked off with Danielle Lloyd as well. How come Jo O Meara is (still) rocking back and forth in a padded cell and Danielle is on the front of OK getting her hair and make up done? They were both equally culpable. I don't give a fuck about Danielle's fashion line or her love life. She is scum. Fuck off. As for Jo, for god's sake, give it a break. It wasn't 'editing'. You're a cunt. Deal with it somewhere else.
This Arcade Fire album is still crap. Glad I didn't buy it. Basically the only good song they have is Power Out. Oh alright, and the 'hiding from your brothers' one.
I read today that Kate Moss and Jade Goody have been nominated for Mother of the Year. I personally could not think of two worse mothers (except maybe Britney, but she's mental, which is a better excuse.) Jade Goody does not give a fuck about her kids. Kate Moss doesn't give a fuck either, or she couldn't go out with the crackhead. Simple as that. its not even a choice. It would just be a no, wouldn't it? Who the fuck votes for these things? Didn't Kerry Katona win it once too? At least she primarily looks after them, I suppose. Even if she has married that clearly-psychotic crow-faced control freak. I give that six months. In fact, he might even kill her. He's took her phone off her so her friends have to go through him! Eep. That's the sound of several alarm bells. Take heed, Katona, you coke-headed chavtopus.
Britney is just too boring now really: one thing I will say is just STOP IT to all these people who keep saying they 'feel sorry for her'. I couldn't feel less sorry. Does Britney have to get up at 7.30am? Does Britney have to buy clothes for a tenner and get her hair cut by students? Does Britney live in a box in Holloway? Britney is stupid. It is her stupidity that has made her ill. She will either die or get better. Ho hum.
You can tell I've been reading too much OK/ Heat because I'm really fucked off with Danielle Lloyd as well. How come Jo O Meara is (still) rocking back and forth in a padded cell and Danielle is on the front of OK getting her hair and make up done? They were both equally culpable. I don't give a fuck about Danielle's fashion line or her love life. She is scum. Fuck off. As for Jo, for god's sake, give it a break. It wasn't 'editing'. You're a cunt. Deal with it somewhere else.
This Arcade Fire album is still crap. Glad I didn't buy it. Basically the only good song they have is Power Out. Oh alright, and the 'hiding from your brothers' one.
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