Big Brother USA/ BB14 Launch show

I know it sounds tragic but my heart soared tonight watching the BBUSA launch show (which aired in the US on Thursday night). It reminds me of such a happy time in my life, when my boyfriend and I just sat in bed for six months watching about 8 seasons of it (actually maybe more). The Glass House can't even begin to compare to the magical drama, backstabbing, and unfairness of Big Brother USA. I have fallen in love (Kaysar, Dan, Janelle, Rachel - yes, Rachel!), hate (Cappy, Jessie, Matty, Jeff) and just appreciated the pure entertainment (Evil Dick, and even stupid Enzo and Renee). There's also the most shocking racism and homophobia you'll ever see and they do dick all about it, so that's good to get me angry, and I like to be angry. People also properly break their friends hearts. It's absolutely ruthless (remember Shelly from last year?)
It makes me laugh that they bring some of the same contestants back year after year. I don't really mind though, because they are normally fucking ace and have been shafted. This time they've brought four contestants back as 'coaches'; Britney (Queen of the roll eyes), Janelle (best female player ever), Dan (probably the best male player ever, and a real football coach) and Mike 'Boogie'. Is Boogie his actual surname now? God, he's always been ugly, but he looks completely haggard now. He also looks like he's had botox, ironically. He's got devilish eyebrows going on. Couldn't we have had Dr Will instead? At least he's easy on the eye. And how come they showed Rachel, Enzo, Renee and Jessie at the start? Please, no more Jessie. Please! 
Anyway, let's examine these new people. They actually seem like quite a pleasant crowd, there's not anyone stand out odious from the start (like the entire cast of The Glass House). I like the guy who said he'd been 'reading strategic books' before he went in the house. I'd love to see what they were. I like the look of Ian, who looks about 12, the blonde stupid one, the guy with the curly hair, the gay guy with the long hair who looks like a cross between Fabio and that dude off Made in Chelsea and is called Wil with one l... the nurse, quite a lot of them seem alright. What's going on!?
The house looks nice and jazzy. OMG seeing Boogie and Dr Will doing their 'bhahahaha' thing in the DR makes my toes curl. Arseholes! I hate Boogie! He won by accident! He's as bad a winner as Adam, Maggie or Jun, ffs.
I don't think Britney is going to be that good a judge as all she does is roll-eyes, and she got super-shafted in the end. All of the coaches look like they live in mansions.
This Willie guy seems kind of annoying. Hope he doesn't get Head of House. Oh.
I think Boogie picked the strongest team, tbh. I like Frank. I liked Boogie's motivational speech: 'there's a flight to JFK tonight, do you want to be on it, let's go!' 
The task they did was pretty fun, I love the tasks they do, and the way they cut them, and just the whole over the topness. The fact they kicked someone out in the first night was really cruel. I'm sad it was Dan's team too, I'd like him to win, plus Jodi seemed lovely, but she was physically the weakest, and I like Danielle. But it could have been worse; a lot worse. Poor Jodi didn't even get a real interview, bless her!
Who will Willie nominate? I suspect it will be another alpha male. It's bound to be someone I like!
I'm not going to blog every episode because I think it's just too niche for my audience; I only know a couple of people who watch it here in the UK and one of them is my boyfriend! Plus it's fun to watch some shows and not have to blog. Plus I'll always be watching them a bit behind. Anyway, you can watch it here, and you should. And you should watch all the old series. It will be the best six months of your life, I promise. I wish I could have those days back when we used to watch four in a row. I've never watched a show that made my heart pound from the drama of it all. And the unfairness! So many people have fallen at the final hurdle (Marcellas!) But these are TV moments you'll remember forever. You'll probably remember them on your deathbed it's so fucking good. Viva Chenbot!