Monday 23 July 2012

Big Brother 13: Weighty-hatey

I just lost the first quarter of my blog, but it was boring as fuck (BB, not my blog, obv) so here's how it went. Ashleigh is playing letter-gate like a fiddle.
Why is it always idiots like Luke S who want kids? He's too self-obsessed to look after a budgie, he'd be gawping in it's little mirror trying to sort out his bouffant whilst the poor thing dropped dead from lack of bird seed.
Luke S and Ashleigh's conversation is scintillating. Adam, Luke A and Deana really need to tread carefully with their semi-noms talk. I notice Caroline's make up mirror is cracked. No punchline required.
Conor: 'I hate cats.' Conor: my cats hate you. In fact they said you make the Neanderthal man look like David Attenborough. 
Adam's got some bouncy moobs going on there! Luke S looks like he's got tits, too. I hate all BBUK tasks. I can't wait to watch yesterday's BBUSA tonight. I'm having to avoid Twitter to avoid getting spoilerised, which is difficult; in fact I've already fucked myself, but it was via a thread in the BBUK forum on Digital Spy - thanks for that! We forced my friend to watch BBUSA the other night and she said it was 'boring'. WTF?
Did Luke A just say he didn't shit? What witchcraft is that? Adam is gross leaving skid marks in the toilet. Haven't they got a toilet brush?! Minging.
Ashleigh should have to clean up Adam's dirty toilet to win Deana's letter. Fair's fair.
Nelly and a barbeque. What more could you want from a party?
It's a shame Shev isn't still in there to get scared by Ashleigh. Don't give up the day job, Ashleigh, whatever that is (probably signing on). I'd rather take my chances with the clown from It.
Why did Conor have a screwface when Deana got her letter? He was crying for her yesterday. Guess those fake emotions only last so long.
Do you remember when Bea got a video from home and it was from her friend, but not her best friend or her mum and she threw her toys out of the pram in the most revolting manner? I wonder if they're still friends?
You're not supposed to stick earbuds in your ear like that, Ashleigh. Maybe that's how she dislodged her brain.
Conor likes nomination day. Says it all really; nasty bastard.
What sort of person tells their 'friend' they've put on weight? Sara's about as fat as a matchstick. Caroline doesn't look fat; just ugly. Sara: 'my bum makes me feel like I want to pass out.' Becky's must make you feel like dying.
Love Scott being catty about Luke S and saying he's 'one of the most uncool people I've ever met.' I don't think I've ever seen the two of them speak. Hopefully he'll nominate it.
Don't do a prayer, Deana, do a fix, a little whisper, bit of tittle-tattle. Is Luke A even religious?! I'm sure God is getting right on this shit. Fuck starvation, wars and natural disasters. Save the outsiders!

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