Here's a crash course in how to alienate your audience. Cast a house full of people with IQs less than 50, but with the personalities that are the sensory equivalent of chomping on brillo pads. Evict the 25% of the housemates who did have a brain/ or were at least entertaining in the first four weeks. Let a man who has not said one intelligible word for four weeks suddenly speak out from under his toupee to make threats of sexual violence against an inoffensive but quite dull housemate. Don't throw him out. Give him £50K, upsetting 75% of your audience, and ruining 50% of the suspense of the final. Make the inoffensive and dull housemate a potential winner, because of this injustice, then give her a bad edit until she mentions 'servants' - just to remind us she doesn't deserve the £50K, although the man who threatened to rape her and punch her on her arse did. You still watching? Me too, unbelievably. I think Big Brother itself has become like an abusive boyfriend. And David Cameron has shut Refuge.
The fact that the crowd is going 'whoop whoop' like a mentally deficient CD-UK audience says it all, really. Aw, I'm glad Benedict turned up. Conor comes out chewing gum - gross. He's got all the manners and decorum of an angry tramp.
Luke S out first, please! PRAWN. To Madonna's or Sugababes 'push the button.', please. They don't seem to tailor the songs to the evicted housemates anymore, or I can't tell if they do. Everything just sounds like it's got the washing machine on it.
I really hope the soldiers are the last three standing. It will be an important moral victory.
You can see it's stinging Luke S to be stuck in there with those four, especially as he didn't even get the votes for it. He could be lying on a bed of £50 notes with Ashleigh right now (ugh).
'Get Deana out!' go the 'whoop whoop' crowd. Is it Conor's family? Can chimps form sentences.
I vote to evict the red cloud in the split screen. BOO YA. Luke A's out. Shoulda pushed that button. LOL at Conor waving to him, I bet that's just what he wanted to see the second he was evicted to the boo chorus. LOL they are playing 'Push the Button'! Nice one. Although I'll still never quite understand why they've been so keen to make a fool out of Luke S all series, whilst they've let Conor get away with murder.
Conor and Ashleigh both chewing gum like thick cows munching on grass. Luke S should team up with Benedict and sack those MOFOs off. LOL to the person shouting 'greedy'. Luke A got interviewed for about three seconds. What a shame. We'll always remember you for coming fifth. And being a douche. Goodbye.
YES. Sara's out next. They did it. They did it! I actually feel quite emotional. Was cute seeing them all smiling, wish I could hear what they were saying. That was the right result. Sara deserves nothing!
Whatever you think to the 'soldiers', they DID battle for that win. They battled hard. So they do deserve it.
I like Sara's high heels. Er... that's about it. 'Underneath it all, Caroline's got a good heart.' No.
Sara was not a floater, Brian, she was well and truly an insider. Hopefully she'll watch that Queen madness and quit drinking.
Shit, Deana is third. Wasn't expecting that. Mind you, I didn't vote for her cos I want Adam to win, so I'm partly responsible. I'm gonna throw Adam another vote. I think Luke A and Adam will both chuck each other a few quid. It's good seeing their reactions. Adam, you could have dressed up, FFS. Incidentally, I think Brian looks the best he's done all season.
Deana looks beautiful. Classy and cool in glitter and pink. Do you think they're going to show Conor's hate rant? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. As if.
Those prayers paid off, didn't they! How is 'soldiers' a gameplan? It's just a name for a team/ alliance.
At least Conor wasn't smiling when they mentioned 'the nasty things he said'. That's the first time I've seen him without a grin on his face. Nasty things - FFS. There's an understatement.
I liked it when Deana went on the rampage. 'Answering back' - heaven forbid, know your place, Deana. 'Evil eyes' - forgot about that, lol.
Good did overcome evil. But it is a shame she came third; I'd hate to see Luke A win it now, nice as he is. Bar the BMI comment, he's just not done enough.
Luke A and Adam are too cute. Can't Luke drop the 'A' now?
SHIT. Luke A won. I'm shocked. I'm really shocked. I really wanted it to be Adam. It was lovely and emotional, though. 'I love you man...' I love you too.' Nicest top two friendship ever.
Adam: 'I've been broke before, it don't matter.' Bless him. I'd love to have seen him take it. 'Indecent human beings': correct.
Adam: 'give the second runner up a chance!' to Lauren. Cute. Super cool.
I will give Luke A this much: when Becky confronted him and expected him to back down, and he called her out and relished reeling out a list of reasons why she was an idiot. I will give him that. But one night of common sense in two months does not a worthy winner make. Still. It could have been a lot worse, I suppose. And at least he can get his Reebok penis now (his words, not mine!) I've seen those pump up penises, they're quite good (not in person, I might add!) Also, it felt like he needed that validation a lot more than Deana and Adam did. So let's take those factors into account alongside the fact he's a bit of a dullard.
Seeing fireworks just reminds me of Beavis and Butthead watching the Katy Perry Firework video and Butthead going 'you're not a firework.' and Beavis going, 'I am! I am firework.' Butthead: 'No, you're more like the plastic bag in the first part of the song. Uh-huh-huh-huh.'
Luke A is happy that Conor took half the cash? You sure about that? I hope Luke chucks Adam a few quid, I really do. So Luke S was right: 'boys DO want to be him!'
Luke A was competitive so winning BB is huge for him. I do appreciate that.
I wish CBB started on Friday! I need a break, I really do. So what's the moral of this story? Nothing. The winner is as random as Denise Welch and Paddy Docherty so there's no accounting for taste, and this is much nicer. The soldiers made it to the final three. I just hope Deana sues Conor or something. Or at least slaps him.
My boyfriend just bet me 2 Euros (don't ask) they'll show the full Conor rant on BOTS. See you on Twitter to claim my 2 Euros in a few mins. There's more chance of Conor handing over the cash to Deana in compensation.
BB: so much to answer for. And still we watch. Love, your battered wife. See you Weds.
Showing posts with label BB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BB. Show all posts
Monday, 13 August 2012
Sunday, 12 August 2012
Big Brother 13: He's such a cheesy bastard
Sorry I didn't blog last night, but I've come crawling back for the penultimate one. I did a couple of quite funny tweets, too. TYPICAL.
Ooh, squirrel housemate. I'll crown him as winner over 40% of the house.
How are they going to pad out this show? Luke S's hair is too dark. He's too pale for it. Oh shut up scragbag, no one buys your Ashleigh ho-mance BS. 'What are you going to miss about Ashleigh?' His leg shook when he said 'everything'.
LOL to Deana not doing the dishes for 12 days. I bet Ashleigh didn't do many dishes in there. WOMEN SHOULD BE DOING DISHES, obviously. It's funny seeing Luke S being forced to speak to Deana.
Who is Nina Mishcov to tell people about fame? I barely recognise her and my boyfriend went 'she used to be on Through the Keyhole.' Is that the best celeb they could get in there? Did they blow the budget paying off that shaved ape?
Deana looks peed off with Nina. I like her dress today. She's looked really nice lately.
No one's looking up your skirt, Nina. You're less famous than Sandi Toksvig.
I don't think they're exactly going to have to worry about fending off crazed fans. Luke A loves the attention from the ladies, and he does like a flirt, but I don't find that creepy, it's probably because it's all just new to him.
Stop digging Luke A out about the BMI comment already! Dickheads. People said a zillion times worse and it was NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. Disgraceful double standards.
Nina has SO got an axe to grind with Deana, it's really hacking me off. Didn't BB learn from last time, the more they shit on a housemate, the more people vote for them? It's like Aaron all over again. Maybe they do it deliberately, I honestly don't know...
Is Sara wearing a comedy hat? She looks like Aunt Sally. I wish Nina Mishcov would FUCK OFF. She's really getting on my nerves. Deana looks like she wants to kick her in the face.
Good on Adam for not backing down about the Arron thing. Arron was a little prick who deserved everything he got.
Who the fuck is Nina to go in there telling them to watch their behaviour and showing them 'embarrassing' clips? Do you think they'd have shown Conor's little epilator hate rant if he'd still been in the house? WOULD THEY FUCK. Hypocrites.
Ooh.. do you think they've put Luke S and Deana to have dinner together to shitstir? Do you? Do you? Zzzzz.
Why DOES Luke S backcomb his hair like that? Imagine if a man you worked with came in with that barnet. He would be laughed out of the door.
Note BB pointing out Deana has a cook and a maid (ie. she's rich and doesn't deserve the money). SUBTLE. Well she deserves it more than that Aztec-print wearing, hitler-hairdoed, hateful, horrible CUNT CONOR who got NO ONE'S VOTE and NO ONE HAD A SAY IN THE MATTER (except Luke S, I suppose) so get your fucking priorities right, you transparent FUCKWITS. You make me sick, seriously. You let that sub-human walk out with half the cash, and you're trying to stop Deana from legitimately winning the money? You fuckers. *Danny Dyer voice* 'How can you sleep at night?'
Is Sara 4 realz? How could anyone's favourite song be Meatloaf's 'I would do anything for love (but I won't do scat)'? How do people know the words?! I would say at least it's a long song, but that's one song you don't want to go on for long. She's one of the most bizarre people on the planet, with the weirdest views, yet still, somehow, she's still uninteresting.
OMG Sara actually FANCIES Meatloaf?! That is unforgivable. When he's all SWEATY?! WTF. What about when he's got bitch tits in Fight Club? Luke S: 'What if you had to choose between the Queen and Meatloaf?' Sara: 'Oh the Queen, obviously.' Obviously?! There's nothing obvious about any of this. She talks the most nonsense ever.
Luke A, don't invoke the name of Caroline, it probably releases a curse on the house. Adam: still lolling at 'guys want to be me, girls want to be with me.' There is more mileage in that, admittedly. Cheesy bastard, hehe. Luke A and Adam's friendship proper makes me blub. You're so lucky in life when you make a friend like that. It's worth more than 50 grand, it really is.
It's weird they're having like the series round up tonight. Missing out a certain clip, though, like a rotten little heart beating under the floorboards, but we know. We know.
Oh, Benedict. It could have all been so different. I miss you. That ending was weird. It's not quite over.
It's a bit of a shame the final is on a Monday night, in my opinion. I want to get drunk and watch the final, and I haven't even got any money for a bottle of wine. Austerity times! Vote Adam: Deana's going to get loads of votes anyway. See you then!
Ooh, squirrel housemate. I'll crown him as winner over 40% of the house.
How are they going to pad out this show? Luke S's hair is too dark. He's too pale for it. Oh shut up scragbag, no one buys your Ashleigh ho-mance BS. 'What are you going to miss about Ashleigh?' His leg shook when he said 'everything'.
LOL to Deana not doing the dishes for 12 days. I bet Ashleigh didn't do many dishes in there. WOMEN SHOULD BE DOING DISHES, obviously. It's funny seeing Luke S being forced to speak to Deana.
Who is Nina Mishcov to tell people about fame? I barely recognise her and my boyfriend went 'she used to be on Through the Keyhole.' Is that the best celeb they could get in there? Did they blow the budget paying off that shaved ape?
Deana looks peed off with Nina. I like her dress today. She's looked really nice lately.
No one's looking up your skirt, Nina. You're less famous than Sandi Toksvig.
I don't think they're exactly going to have to worry about fending off crazed fans. Luke A loves the attention from the ladies, and he does like a flirt, but I don't find that creepy, it's probably because it's all just new to him.
Stop digging Luke A out about the BMI comment already! Dickheads. People said a zillion times worse and it was NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. Disgraceful double standards.
Nina has SO got an axe to grind with Deana, it's really hacking me off. Didn't BB learn from last time, the more they shit on a housemate, the more people vote for them? It's like Aaron all over again. Maybe they do it deliberately, I honestly don't know...
Is Sara wearing a comedy hat? She looks like Aunt Sally. I wish Nina Mishcov would FUCK OFF. She's really getting on my nerves. Deana looks like she wants to kick her in the face.
Good on Adam for not backing down about the Arron thing. Arron was a little prick who deserved everything he got.
Who the fuck is Nina to go in there telling them to watch their behaviour and showing them 'embarrassing' clips? Do you think they'd have shown Conor's little epilator hate rant if he'd still been in the house? WOULD THEY FUCK. Hypocrites.
Ooh.. do you think they've put Luke S and Deana to have dinner together to shitstir? Do you? Do you? Zzzzz.
Why DOES Luke S backcomb his hair like that? Imagine if a man you worked with came in with that barnet. He would be laughed out of the door.
Note BB pointing out Deana has a cook and a maid (ie. she's rich and doesn't deserve the money). SUBTLE. Well she deserves it more than that Aztec-print wearing, hitler-hairdoed, hateful, horrible CUNT CONOR who got NO ONE'S VOTE and NO ONE HAD A SAY IN THE MATTER (except Luke S, I suppose) so get your fucking priorities right, you transparent FUCKWITS. You make me sick, seriously. You let that sub-human walk out with half the cash, and you're trying to stop Deana from legitimately winning the money? You fuckers. *Danny Dyer voice* 'How can you sleep at night?'
Is Sara 4 realz? How could anyone's favourite song be Meatloaf's 'I would do anything for love (but I won't do scat)'? How do people know the words?! I would say at least it's a long song, but that's one song you don't want to go on for long. She's one of the most bizarre people on the planet, with the weirdest views, yet still, somehow, she's still uninteresting.
OMG Sara actually FANCIES Meatloaf?! That is unforgivable. When he's all SWEATY?! WTF. What about when he's got bitch tits in Fight Club? Luke S: 'What if you had to choose between the Queen and Meatloaf?' Sara: 'Oh the Queen, obviously.' Obviously?! There's nothing obvious about any of this. She talks the most nonsense ever.
Luke A, don't invoke the name of Caroline, it probably releases a curse on the house. Adam: still lolling at 'guys want to be me, girls want to be with me.' There is more mileage in that, admittedly. Cheesy bastard, hehe. Luke A and Adam's friendship proper makes me blub. You're so lucky in life when you make a friend like that. It's worth more than 50 grand, it really is.
It's weird they're having like the series round up tonight. Missing out a certain clip, though, like a rotten little heart beating under the floorboards, but we know. We know.
Oh, Benedict. It could have all been so different. I miss you. That ending was weird. It's not quite over.
It's a bit of a shame the final is on a Monday night, in my opinion. I want to get drunk and watch the final, and I haven't even got any money for a bottle of wine. Austerity times! Vote Adam: Deana's going to get loads of votes anyway. See you then!
Friday, 10 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Boo woo x 2
You decide? OK, can I evict Sara and Luke S? No? OK I've decided. I'm gonna vote to save Deana and Adam. I think calling it a semi-final is over-egging it a bit. Monday seems like a funny day to have the final on. And I get one days grace before CBB starts? Fucking hell, give me a break, why don't you? I want to do a blog about (Mike Judge's uh-huh-huh-huh) Beavis and Butthead.
Why has Adam woken up crying? That's not a good way to start the day. I like Deana's dress. I'm glad she apologised. I think she's just a bit of a control freak. I don't know what Adam REALLY makes of her, but I'd love to know. Funny that Deana dismisses Scott as a candidate to win, but she's actually right.
Scott's going to be like Elton John when he has a baby, basically. LOL to Deana and Adam digging Luke out again.
Brian is looking quite waxen tonight. We all know Scabby's going; it's just who she's carting out with her.
I wonder if I would be good at the limbo. I'm short so maybe that would help.
Luke S looked gayer than ever doing the limbo. I think his limbo face is like his sex face. Scott does seem quite bendy, no pun intended. Scott is getting a lot of AIRTIME. I wonder why? (Because producers want to get Deana out).
Having said that I think we have been spared a lot of the 'showmance', thank fuck.
Scott: 'Big Brother has been the womb and this could be the rebirth of me.' Was Caroline the placenta? Becky was definitely the afterbirth.
I can't tell who they're chanting to get out. Ashleigh's hair looks rank. Why is Deana getting booed?
Hold on, did Scott get less votes than Ashleigh? Fucking hell. That's rough. I think it must be the Luke S and Conor vote ringing up for Ashleigh. I like Scott's blue and green outfit and I'm glad he got a cheer. He kind of did the same as Tom did last year and he had a similar gameplan; wishy-washy. It looks like he's got a bruise on his face. What's up with the crowd, is it fancy dress?
Scott seems a bit quiet in his interview. It's a shame he left before Sara, Luke S and Ashleigh, though. But I don't feel emotionally invested in Scott. He never really let us in, and he picked his friends poorly. I think ultimately he was just shallow. He got a short interview. Still, at least he gets to do BOTS, I spose. No BOO WOO in his best bits! WTF. Folly. That was his finest second.
Yes, Ashleigh is out! The soldiers are safe, even if Deana was getting booed to fuck. Who cares, Aaron win last year and got booed all the way.
It all feels very rushed tonight! What's the hurry? That klaxon thing gets on my nerves. Let's hear the boos. Ashleigh seems fairly sensible in her interview.
Luke S DID choose the money over spending the rest of the time in the house, Brian.
Showmance or romance? Ho-mance. OMG are they really showing Ashleigh this task in her interview? It would have been better to do it in the house; much more dramatic. I can't believe they showed her that; it's quite hurtful. Well, it would be if she wasn't so stupid. As it is, she doesn't seem to give a shit.
I can't believe they didn't show the 'wipe up' in the best bits!
I'll be voting for Adam and Deana FTW. Can't wait to see Luke S leave first on Monday. Look at his moody little turtle face. He knows he's got no chance of winning. He's just basically got a three day wait for a cab. Should have listened to Madonna and pushed that button (quicker).
Why has Adam woken up crying? That's not a good way to start the day. I like Deana's dress. I'm glad she apologised. I think she's just a bit of a control freak. I don't know what Adam REALLY makes of her, but I'd love to know. Funny that Deana dismisses Scott as a candidate to win, but she's actually right.
Scott's going to be like Elton John when he has a baby, basically. LOL to Deana and Adam digging Luke out again.
Brian is looking quite waxen tonight. We all know Scabby's going; it's just who she's carting out with her.
I wonder if I would be good at the limbo. I'm short so maybe that would help.
Luke S looked gayer than ever doing the limbo. I think his limbo face is like his sex face. Scott does seem quite bendy, no pun intended. Scott is getting a lot of AIRTIME. I wonder why? (Because producers want to get Deana out).
Having said that I think we have been spared a lot of the 'showmance', thank fuck.
Scott: 'Big Brother has been the womb and this could be the rebirth of me.' Was Caroline the placenta? Becky was definitely the afterbirth.
I can't tell who they're chanting to get out. Ashleigh's hair looks rank. Why is Deana getting booed?
Hold on, did Scott get less votes than Ashleigh? Fucking hell. That's rough. I think it must be the Luke S and Conor vote ringing up for Ashleigh. I like Scott's blue and green outfit and I'm glad he got a cheer. He kind of did the same as Tom did last year and he had a similar gameplan; wishy-washy. It looks like he's got a bruise on his face. What's up with the crowd, is it fancy dress?
Scott seems a bit quiet in his interview. It's a shame he left before Sara, Luke S and Ashleigh, though. But I don't feel emotionally invested in Scott. He never really let us in, and he picked his friends poorly. I think ultimately he was just shallow. He got a short interview. Still, at least he gets to do BOTS, I spose. No BOO WOO in his best bits! WTF. Folly. That was his finest second.
Yes, Ashleigh is out! The soldiers are safe, even if Deana was getting booed to fuck. Who cares, Aaron win last year and got booed all the way.
It all feels very rushed tonight! What's the hurry? That klaxon thing gets on my nerves. Let's hear the boos. Ashleigh seems fairly sensible in her interview.
Luke S DID choose the money over spending the rest of the time in the house, Brian.
Showmance or romance? Ho-mance. OMG are they really showing Ashleigh this task in her interview? It would have been better to do it in the house; much more dramatic. I can't believe they showed her that; it's quite hurtful. Well, it would be if she wasn't so stupid. As it is, she doesn't seem to give a shit.
I can't believe they didn't show the 'wipe up' in the best bits!
I'll be voting for Adam and Deana FTW. Can't wait to see Luke S leave first on Monday. Look at his moody little turtle face. He knows he's got no chance of winning. He's just basically got a three day wait for a cab. Should have listened to Madonna and pushed that button (quicker).
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Big Brother 13: The one and only nominator
I'm a bit drunk tonight as I went to some leaving drinks so what bearing that will have on my blog, who knows? I've got a headache and I feel misunderstood and a bit grumpy. This is my 1,200th blog though. Does that deserve a gong?
Toasted sandwich gatezzzzz. The soldiers are falling apart. I guess I'm going to have to pick a side.
Luke and Ashleigh filler: please, spare me. Fast forward. I laughed at Luke S's childish 'he's like a peacock, take away the pea' joke.
The nomination awards will shit-stir, but everyone is just as guilty as each other. They must all know that nominations could be seen at any point.
Luke S should dedicate his 'nominating Deana' award to his puppet master Conor. What is Ashleigh getting out of her pram about? Put a fucking sock in it, you thicko.
I like Deana's pink silky dress. Her acceptance speech was good. Don't forget the way they treated her! I won't.
It says a lot that Ashleigh and Scott have nominated the people who got evicted the most, as they have bad taste in nominations. They've fucked that house.
Scott looked mad about Sara nominating him. Hot under the collar. This whole show is filler. It's got more filler than a tramp gone nuts in Subway.
I don't think the two Luke's are really nemesises (nemisi?) They just don't click. The nommy's look quite good; on a par with the Pointless trophy.
So when they could finally talk about nominations, Adam said he'd never nominated Luke S and Deana got pissy. Er, they're HIS nominations, not yours. Plus you couldn't talk about nominations, so what was he to do?
This makes me want to save Adam, not Deana. It's not up to Deana who Adam nominates. I think she's really out of line there. Let's face it: Adam has never really liked Deana and Deana just wanted Luke S and Adam as bodies for her alliance.
Quite ironic that Luke is missing out on the dins cooked by the top chef and Deana's missing out on the Indian food. That seems exceptionally cruel.
Oh Deana, please leave Adam alone. Adam is right to nominate boring people. I'm going to vote to save Adam.
Luke S is so patronising! If you love Ashleigh (which you don't), accept her the way she is, warts and all. Don't try and educate her; she's beyond help. Oh my god. Do you think she likes it? At least Luke A, Adam and Deana got to have the leftovers.
Can't wait to see yappy go tomorrow, but just don't know who will go with her. I wish it could be Sara or Luke S. I'm worried it could be Adam. I was going to split my vote but I think I'm going to just give it to Adam. I think Deana will be safe, and Scott, whilst entertaining, doesn't deserve it. Too little too late.
Must nod. Ta-ta...
Toasted sandwich gatezzzzz. The soldiers are falling apart. I guess I'm going to have to pick a side.
Luke and Ashleigh filler: please, spare me. Fast forward. I laughed at Luke S's childish 'he's like a peacock, take away the pea' joke.
The nomination awards will shit-stir, but everyone is just as guilty as each other. They must all know that nominations could be seen at any point.
Luke S should dedicate his 'nominating Deana' award to his puppet master Conor. What is Ashleigh getting out of her pram about? Put a fucking sock in it, you thicko.
I like Deana's pink silky dress. Her acceptance speech was good. Don't forget the way they treated her! I won't.
It says a lot that Ashleigh and Scott have nominated the people who got evicted the most, as they have bad taste in nominations. They've fucked that house.
Scott looked mad about Sara nominating him. Hot under the collar. This whole show is filler. It's got more filler than a tramp gone nuts in Subway.
I don't think the two Luke's are really nemesises (nemisi?) They just don't click. The nommy's look quite good; on a par with the Pointless trophy.
So when they could finally talk about nominations, Adam said he'd never nominated Luke S and Deana got pissy. Er, they're HIS nominations, not yours. Plus you couldn't talk about nominations, so what was he to do?
This makes me want to save Adam, not Deana. It's not up to Deana who Adam nominates. I think she's really out of line there. Let's face it: Adam has never really liked Deana and Deana just wanted Luke S and Adam as bodies for her alliance.
Quite ironic that Luke is missing out on the dins cooked by the top chef and Deana's missing out on the Indian food. That seems exceptionally cruel.
Oh Deana, please leave Adam alone. Adam is right to nominate boring people. I'm going to vote to save Adam.
Luke S is so patronising! If you love Ashleigh (which you don't), accept her the way she is, warts and all. Don't try and educate her; she's beyond help. Oh my god. Do you think she likes it? At least Luke A, Adam and Deana got to have the leftovers.
Can't wait to see yappy go tomorrow, but just don't know who will go with her. I wish it could be Sara or Luke S. I'm worried it could be Adam. I was going to split my vote but I think I'm going to just give it to Adam. I think Deana will be safe, and Scott, whilst entertaining, doesn't deserve it. Too little too late.
Must nod. Ta-ta...
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Shite at the Museum
I've started listening to another Big Brother podcast now, Big Brother Couch Potatoes on Spreaker (which you can download a free app for) and it's quite decent. Not as good the Big Brother Gossip show, but again presented by a cynical American, which is always good, and they've had Lauren and Benedict on and stuff. Both shows are more entertaining than actual Big Brother, anyway and I can listen to them at work, and no one gets censored so it works for me. I'm so tired of hearing 'I'm only following orders' from Emma Willis.
My boyfriend has suggested a title for my blog: 'Shite at the Museum, Poo.' That's how low we've sunk.
This task is boring. Museums are boring. Tasks that involve making the contestants not allowed to speak seem somewhat redundant.
I'm trying to think of a play on 'exhibit'. I've got nothing. I've got less ideas than the BB producers.
Scott kind of suits the security guard outfit and the power going to his head.
Luke S's got some crabby little hands going on there. Do I like Luke S now? I don't know how I feel about anyone anymore, and I normally have quite fixed ideas about people, so I think that says something about how wishy washy these people are. I don't know who I want to win, or who I want to go. Once Ashleigh is removed, I don't really mind. I don't even mind seeing Luke S have a pop at it.
Adam and Ashleigh are having a 'how to read like a 3-year-old' competition. I think this task is even more dull than yesterday's show.
Oh there's a twist to it. It involves pyramids *illuminati*. Are BB in a deal with whoever makes onesies? They're almost as obsessed with them as they are with plugging the Queen. I suppose it's quite a funny twist. If I still cared. They did something like this before one series, but I can't remember what it was.
What the hell is an 'oxygen bar'? Does it involve drugs? I think it must be like that shisha thing. What's the point of smoking something unless you're going to get high? If I want a nice flavour, I'll eat some sweets. I don't even smoke and even I can work that one out.
Are Sara and Scott stupid for falling for this? I reckon.
No food fight will ever match Jedwards'. Therefore, might as well not bother.
Sara's on bollitics again. Postmen don't get paid a fortune! £8 an hour? Fucking hell, who does Sara model for, Everything £5? £8 an hour is not a good salary for getting up at 4am! I hope her postman starts nicking her mail.
'Who decides who gets paid what?' asks Sara. I think it's the Illuminati. I don't think bin men get 25K a year. Mine definitely don't deserve that; they're geriatric and walk along puffing on fags but can't lift my bin if it's got too much cat litter in it cos it hurts their backs. Boo woo.
I'd rather stand still for 15 hours than have to listen to 'play that funky music white boy'. Totem fools.
This whole episode is a made up storyline because there's no storylines in the house.
Would you ring Scott's sex line? Uh oh, don't anger the Sara! She must control everyone's every move. Maybe Scott will end up being in one of Benedict's pornos? Lauren's already got naked for Nuts.
They like winding Sara up. He's got a 2:1! Big wows. Every cunt's got a 2:1. And everyone I know who hasn't got a degree earns more than everyone I know who has.
Deana, when are you going to repay God for these favours? He'll only do so many housemate saves on tick before he sends Chris round to nick your TV.
PS: You will notice I basically went with my boyfriend's title. Not a good sign. Time for Banged Up Abroad.
My boyfriend has suggested a title for my blog: 'Shite at the Museum, Poo.' That's how low we've sunk.
This task is boring. Museums are boring. Tasks that involve making the contestants not allowed to speak seem somewhat redundant.
I'm trying to think of a play on 'exhibit'. I've got nothing. I've got less ideas than the BB producers.
Scott kind of suits the security guard outfit and the power going to his head.
Luke S's got some crabby little hands going on there. Do I like Luke S now? I don't know how I feel about anyone anymore, and I normally have quite fixed ideas about people, so I think that says something about how wishy washy these people are. I don't know who I want to win, or who I want to go. Once Ashleigh is removed, I don't really mind. I don't even mind seeing Luke S have a pop at it.
Adam and Ashleigh are having a 'how to read like a 3-year-old' competition. I think this task is even more dull than yesterday's show.
Oh there's a twist to it. It involves pyramids *illuminati*. Are BB in a deal with whoever makes onesies? They're almost as obsessed with them as they are with plugging the Queen. I suppose it's quite a funny twist. If I still cared. They did something like this before one series, but I can't remember what it was.
What the hell is an 'oxygen bar'? Does it involve drugs? I think it must be like that shisha thing. What's the point of smoking something unless you're going to get high? If I want a nice flavour, I'll eat some sweets. I don't even smoke and even I can work that one out.
Are Sara and Scott stupid for falling for this? I reckon.
No food fight will ever match Jedwards'. Therefore, might as well not bother.
Sara's on bollitics again. Postmen don't get paid a fortune! £8 an hour? Fucking hell, who does Sara model for, Everything £5? £8 an hour is not a good salary for getting up at 4am! I hope her postman starts nicking her mail.
'Who decides who gets paid what?' asks Sara. I think it's the Illuminati. I don't think bin men get 25K a year. Mine definitely don't deserve that; they're geriatric and walk along puffing on fags but can't lift my bin if it's got too much cat litter in it cos it hurts their backs. Boo woo.
I'd rather stand still for 15 hours than have to listen to 'play that funky music white boy'. Totem fools.
This whole episode is a made up storyline because there's no storylines in the house.
Would you ring Scott's sex line? Uh oh, don't anger the Sara! She must control everyone's every move. Maybe Scott will end up being in one of Benedict's pornos? Lauren's already got naked for Nuts.
They like winding Sara up. He's got a 2:1! Big wows. Every cunt's got a 2:1. And everyone I know who hasn't got a degree earns more than everyone I know who has.
Deana, when are you going to repay God for these favours? He'll only do so many housemate saves on tick before he sends Chris round to nick your TV.
PS: You will notice I basically went with my boyfriend's title. Not a good sign. Time for Banged Up Abroad.
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Big Brother 13: We're in the final?!
The final nom noms. Well, I already know who's up.
Deana's right; there IS still a battle; but she's the one poking at the war wound with a stick. Deana's gone from quiet and defeated to utterly obnoxious.
Is Deana muttering about nominations under her breath? Subtle. She's actually getting on MY nerves now. To be honest, I think her reasons for nominating Scott were fair comment, though. He can't enlist to the soldiers late. You sign up for that service early doors, you don't join a battle halfway through, especially not when that side is suddenly winning. That never looks good in the history books.
I don't think it's awful Scott nominated Sara. I think more people should have. Don't change, Scott! Oh, he changed it to Deana. Baa! That could be his undoing. That could see the end of him in that house.
I'm finding these nominations quite boring. I think it's because I'm finding the people left in the house quite boring. And I'm finding this show quite boring. And that in turn is making my blog quite boring. Why not go back and read some of the ones from when Benedict and Lydia were in the house? At least there was some humour then. Yes, BB, I'm blaming you for being a BAD MUSE.
The faux-secret task thing is too confusing for some of the lesser-moroned housemates, and seems somewhat pointless. It was quite funny that they pretended that BB made Scott say 'rapscallion': that was about it. Scott is loving the attention. Why is Deana having a go at him; it's hardly his fault if they gave him a secret task! Which they didn't. But anyway. Are you following this?
Is this Deana's 'real' personality coming out? I'm going off her a bit tonight. I can't find a favourite at all at the moment. I hate being all at sixes and sevens; I just want someone to love and champion. Now I feel like I'm going back into Adam and Luke A's camp. Adam and his argyle sock tattoos FTW? Or Luke A and his desperate quest for acceptance? Luke A's Acceptance Quest should be a computer game, with graphics a bit like that 'The Girl Who became three boys' show that was on Channel 4 tonight. The reconstructions were like watching The Sims. At first I felt the girls were quite stupid (which they were - who has a boyfriend that doesn't talk but only texts in person?) but that girl (in disguise) raped them, ffs. Nasty business. You couldn't make it up, as Richard Littlejohn would concur. I'm digressing, aren't I?
I thought that Scott task thing was a bit stupid, really. It's like a lie upon a lie but ultimately just a dead end, so what's the point? Feels like a bit of a metaphor for this series, really. I told someone at work today that someone had threatened to rape and beat a girl in the house and had been given 50K for his troubles, and he was just like 'what?!' On what planet does that happen? Channel 5 is operating in a different moral universe to the rest of us.
This party thing was zzz too. Buttocks! Wowee. Big Brother, you are killing my blog by giving me NOTHING to work with!
Sensitive Sara: 'we're in the final!' a million times after her friends all just got nominated. What a gal.
Even though Scott's never been up before I think he'd be safe if it was a single eviction. But with a double eviction; who knows? It could be BOO WOO time for him, and curtains up. Is this nearly over yet? I'm going to blog about something serious after CBB, you know. I'm going to blog about ALIENS. And stuff.
Deana's right; there IS still a battle; but she's the one poking at the war wound with a stick. Deana's gone from quiet and defeated to utterly obnoxious.
Is Deana muttering about nominations under her breath? Subtle. She's actually getting on MY nerves now. To be honest, I think her reasons for nominating Scott were fair comment, though. He can't enlist to the soldiers late. You sign up for that service early doors, you don't join a battle halfway through, especially not when that side is suddenly winning. That never looks good in the history books.
I don't think it's awful Scott nominated Sara. I think more people should have. Don't change, Scott! Oh, he changed it to Deana. Baa! That could be his undoing. That could see the end of him in that house.
I'm finding these nominations quite boring. I think it's because I'm finding the people left in the house quite boring. And I'm finding this show quite boring. And that in turn is making my blog quite boring. Why not go back and read some of the ones from when Benedict and Lydia were in the house? At least there was some humour then. Yes, BB, I'm blaming you for being a BAD MUSE.
The faux-secret task thing is too confusing for some of the lesser-moroned housemates, and seems somewhat pointless. It was quite funny that they pretended that BB made Scott say 'rapscallion': that was about it. Scott is loving the attention. Why is Deana having a go at him; it's hardly his fault if they gave him a secret task! Which they didn't. But anyway. Are you following this?
Is this Deana's 'real' personality coming out? I'm going off her a bit tonight. I can't find a favourite at all at the moment. I hate being all at sixes and sevens; I just want someone to love and champion. Now I feel like I'm going back into Adam and Luke A's camp. Adam and his argyle sock tattoos FTW? Or Luke A and his desperate quest for acceptance? Luke A's Acceptance Quest should be a computer game, with graphics a bit like that 'The Girl Who became three boys' show that was on Channel 4 tonight. The reconstructions were like watching The Sims. At first I felt the girls were quite stupid (which they were - who has a boyfriend that doesn't talk but only texts in person?) but that girl (in disguise) raped them, ffs. Nasty business. You couldn't make it up, as Richard Littlejohn would concur. I'm digressing, aren't I?
I thought that Scott task thing was a bit stupid, really. It's like a lie upon a lie but ultimately just a dead end, so what's the point? Feels like a bit of a metaphor for this series, really. I told someone at work today that someone had threatened to rape and beat a girl in the house and had been given 50K for his troubles, and he was just like 'what?!' On what planet does that happen? Channel 5 is operating in a different moral universe to the rest of us.
This party thing was zzz too. Buttocks! Wowee. Big Brother, you are killing my blog by giving me NOTHING to work with!
Sensitive Sara: 'we're in the final!' a million times after her friends all just got nominated. What a gal.
Even though Scott's never been up before I think he'd be safe if it was a single eviction. But with a double eviction; who knows? It could be BOO WOO time for him, and curtains up. Is this nearly over yet? I'm going to blog about something serious after CBB, you know. I'm going to blog about ALIENS. And stuff.
Monday, 6 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Disgusting, stupid little rat
Hello! You still with me? Come on, not long to go now, take my hand and it will all be alright. I like it when they show their audition videos. I don't know why they always look so embarrassed; they should just say 'we would all say anything to get in the house.' - end of discussion.
Shut up Luke A, defending Luke S. Who cares about his feelings?! He's doesn't have any. Deana did apologise, interspersed with cackling manically.
Why are they all living in filth in there? They need Benedict back to clean the shower! They never knew they had it so good. They've got nothing better to do in there, they might as well clean up, bloody animals.
Adam walks round permanatly smirking at everything. Deana: 'it's the toaster's fault, not mine.' Ashleigh: 'who's done this?' 'The toaster.' I love Deana telling Ashleigh to fuck off. About time. Ashleigh always tells a story incorrectly. Perhaps she has no powers of recollection or she's just a twisty little bugger.
Deana: 'you fucking shut up.' About time! Ashleigh hasn't really got anything to say back, has she? 'Disgusting, stupid little rat.' The words we've all been thinking for two months now. Spot on. Spot fucking on.
It's a bit rich Ashleigh going 'she doesn't know how to make toast,' when she doesn't know what a fucking egg is. Ashleigh preferred it when Deana knew her place. But Ashleigh hasn't got her back up anymore, and now chief chimp Conor has gone, Deana can come out of her shell, and she's not running scared anymore.
Adam is a bit wary of Deana, sometimes. Corporal Deana is letting her troops down by being a bit mentalz. But I still say good on her.
As soon as the word chocolate was mentioned, I immediately started shoveling some into my mouth. Good advertising.
I think for that task the mouth and nose are the best things to fill up with the chocolate fingers. Adam's: 'you want me to stick them up my nose, that's fucked up.' made me laugh. How can they possibly tell who won? They need an independent adjudicator.
Deana chose KFC for their meal - LOL. I would have so chosen that, too. Boneless banquet all the way (sorry, Moz). Adam comes off cool in his video, even though he's not very gangsta at all, he's a big teddy.
I though Deana's video was quite accurate. Luke A looks like a lot more fun in his entry video - I don't recall him playing many jokes.
Luke Scrace - lol! 'People might think I'm an arrogant prick.' True. Sara oversold herself. Scott's video was so arrogant! I like it, though.
Sensitive Luke S puts his foot in it again. Is Ashleigh wearing a bikini? She did look better blonde. Ashleigh liked the idea of Luke in his VT better. I think Luke S likes Ashleigh with her mouth shut better.
Sara looks good today. Oh Deana, shut up about being fat, it's so boring. Luke A has ALWAYS got an axe to grind with Luke S.
Deana's trying to get to the bottom of Luke S; trouble is, there's nothing to get to the bottom of because he's got all the depth of an empty saucer of milk.
I'm glad Scott is standing up to Ashleigh and he does have every right to change his mind. Ashleigh is just trying to push him into a corner but she had no power anymore now her chief bodyguards have gone.
Oh does Luke think Ashleigh's a loose woman now cos she said she hadn't had sex in three weeks in her video? Bloody hypocrite. She's had sex since, hasn't she?
These prayers kind of work, don't they? I think I might start believing in God. Dear God, can I get an iPad and a holiday and a bestseller?
Dear God, thanks for our KFC. HE doesn't decide, WE decide. Ish. Luke A: 'cheers dude' instead of 'amen'.
To be honest I think the soldiers are right to be wary of Scott, but he's probably a good ally for them at the moment.
Ashleigh and Luke S are bedding down like the filthy hamsters they are.
Is Luke A saying Luke S won't vote for him because he knows how often he's been saved? I wouldn't get ahead of yourself, sunshine. He'll be voting for you, never fear.
I feel like Scott is the only one NOT playing a game at the moment. Maybe he genuinely does just like everyone and isn't playing both sides. Maybe?
Shut up Luke A, defending Luke S. Who cares about his feelings?! He's doesn't have any. Deana did apologise, interspersed with cackling manically.
Why are they all living in filth in there? They need Benedict back to clean the shower! They never knew they had it so good. They've got nothing better to do in there, they might as well clean up, bloody animals.
Adam walks round permanatly smirking at everything. Deana: 'it's the toaster's fault, not mine.' Ashleigh: 'who's done this?' 'The toaster.' I love Deana telling Ashleigh to fuck off. About time. Ashleigh always tells a story incorrectly. Perhaps she has no powers of recollection or she's just a twisty little bugger.
Deana: 'you fucking shut up.' About time! Ashleigh hasn't really got anything to say back, has she? 'Disgusting, stupid little rat.' The words we've all been thinking for two months now. Spot on. Spot fucking on.
It's a bit rich Ashleigh going 'she doesn't know how to make toast,' when she doesn't know what a fucking egg is. Ashleigh preferred it when Deana knew her place. But Ashleigh hasn't got her back up anymore, and now chief chimp Conor has gone, Deana can come out of her shell, and she's not running scared anymore.
Adam is a bit wary of Deana, sometimes. Corporal Deana is letting her troops down by being a bit mentalz. But I still say good on her.
As soon as the word chocolate was mentioned, I immediately started shoveling some into my mouth. Good advertising.
I think for that task the mouth and nose are the best things to fill up with the chocolate fingers. Adam's: 'you want me to stick them up my nose, that's fucked up.' made me laugh. How can they possibly tell who won? They need an independent adjudicator.
Deana chose KFC for their meal - LOL. I would have so chosen that, too. Boneless banquet all the way (sorry, Moz). Adam comes off cool in his video, even though he's not very gangsta at all, he's a big teddy.
I though Deana's video was quite accurate. Luke A looks like a lot more fun in his entry video - I don't recall him playing many jokes.
Luke Scrace - lol! 'People might think I'm an arrogant prick.' True. Sara oversold herself. Scott's video was so arrogant! I like it, though.
Sensitive Luke S puts his foot in it again. Is Ashleigh wearing a bikini? She did look better blonde. Ashleigh liked the idea of Luke in his VT better. I think Luke S likes Ashleigh with her mouth shut better.
Sara looks good today. Oh Deana, shut up about being fat, it's so boring. Luke A has ALWAYS got an axe to grind with Luke S.
Deana's trying to get to the bottom of Luke S; trouble is, there's nothing to get to the bottom of because he's got all the depth of an empty saucer of milk.
I'm glad Scott is standing up to Ashleigh and he does have every right to change his mind. Ashleigh is just trying to push him into a corner but she had no power anymore now her chief bodyguards have gone.
Oh does Luke think Ashleigh's a loose woman now cos she said she hadn't had sex in three weeks in her video? Bloody hypocrite. She's had sex since, hasn't she?
These prayers kind of work, don't they? I think I might start believing in God. Dear God, can I get an iPad and a holiday and a bestseller?
Dear God, thanks for our KFC. HE doesn't decide, WE decide. Ish. Luke A: 'cheers dude' instead of 'amen'.
To be honest I think the soldiers are right to be wary of Scott, but he's probably a good ally for them at the moment.
Ashleigh and Luke S are bedding down like the filthy hamsters they are.
Is Luke A saying Luke S won't vote for him because he knows how often he's been saved? I wouldn't get ahead of yourself, sunshine. He'll be voting for you, never fear.
I feel like Scott is the only one NOT playing a game at the moment. Maybe he genuinely does just like everyone and isn't playing both sides. Maybe?
Sunday, 5 August 2012
Big Brother 13: You did press it, you were just too slow
I think Deana needs to keep her unbridled joy under check just a little bit. I would be happy if I was her, but she shouldn't look like she's boasting. Boast privately.
Luke S is 'happy to be in the final.' I'll be happy to see him kicked out first on final night. No, not first. Ashleigh first if she's still hanging round like a cold sore.
I find Luke A's desperation for 'acceptance' quite annoying. 'When will you accept yourself, for Heaven's sake?' as the great man once sang. Who gives a fuck what people think, 'it's your life, live it however you want to.' as everyone's favourite white rapper once said.
Scott's going a bit David Icke - don't mention atoms to Ashleigh, she'll probably think it's a nightclub.
Luke A 'feels good morally.' Sara: 'it's good you didn't press it.' HE DID FUCKING PRESS IT, YOU NUMPTY. He has no moral high ground whatsoever. He's lower than a snake. I think Sara might be thicker than Ashleigh. Deana's face was a picture, followed by: 'you did press it, you were just too slow.' I love the fact she's just saying it now. She really doesn't give a shit anymore, and that is glorious. She also somehow looks more beautiful, with this weight off her shoulders. She's definitely Queen Bee now.
Love Scott and Luke A speculating about Luke S's sexuality. That guy really can't catch a break right now. I hope Sara and Ashleigh are up this week, as they're both thick and horrid.
I've never seen Ashleigh wear those leggings before. How could you still have unworn clothes after two months?
You can tell from Deana's face she's done with Sara now. I hope she nominates her. Well, she's got to nominate either Scott, Ashleigh or Sara cos it's soldiers4life, innit? I really want Scott to get to the final.
This magic potion task is really funny. Is it safe to drink weird dry ice stuff? I didn't see Luke S saying he loved him! Deana's task was funny, too.
Luke S drank the 'I've lost 50 grand' potion. We never got to see what Ashleigh, Scott or Adam's potion was. Maybe Ashleigh's was an intelligence potion, therefore there was no footage to show.
How funny that Luke S had his bum cheeks out in the bath and Ashleigh didn't bat an eyelid. I don't think she even finds him physically attractive. I was agog.
I don't think Luke S is being any more cocky than usual; he's always been king cock. His best move would be to lie low and seem a bit beaten, in my opinion. A new low: Luke wearing pink sunglasses in the bath.
I have those skull glasses they're drinking out of! I swear they have a party ever night in that house.
Luke: 'I don't know if I'm keen on those wedges.' Who asked you, motherfucker? Why is he telling Ashleigh what to wear. I'd tell him to go fuck himself. I can't STAND blokes like that. I have a jumper my boyfriend particularly hates and I wear it with glee.
Luke is adding more fuel to his gay fire. Keep stoking it!
LOL, Dean's pissed as a fart. Her diatribe to Luke S was FUCKING HILARIOUS. Luke S's face. That was a PROPER rub in. Then halfway through she went sorry, and then started on him again. 'It's only a bit of banter' - I actually applauded at that. Luke S didn't have one word to say, just this fixed look as if he was trying very hard not to knock her block off.
Shit, someone needs to put Deana to bed, quick. She's telling the truth and people don't like it. Adam should just go to Luke S, 'ignore her, she's drunk.'
Soldiers: put Deana to bed, for fuck's sake. She's just being drunk and argumentative; we all get like that sometimes. Everyone says stupid things when they're drunk, she just happened to say some very funny things, too.
Luke S in the diary room: BOO WOO. I love the fact they keep cutting to Deana giggling hysterically like a madwoman. LOL Deana made Luke S cry. I was proper cackling along with Deana. She should get drunk more often. It's kind of ironic that even though the horrible Conor has gone with half the cash, it's almost been worth it to see the others so free and unleashed. That was one of the funniest episodes I've seen so far. Deana FTW.
Luke S is 'happy to be in the final.' I'll be happy to see him kicked out first on final night. No, not first. Ashleigh first if she's still hanging round like a cold sore.
I find Luke A's desperation for 'acceptance' quite annoying. 'When will you accept yourself, for Heaven's sake?' as the great man once sang. Who gives a fuck what people think, 'it's your life, live it however you want to.' as everyone's favourite white rapper once said.
Scott's going a bit David Icke - don't mention atoms to Ashleigh, she'll probably think it's a nightclub.
Luke A 'feels good morally.' Sara: 'it's good you didn't press it.' HE DID FUCKING PRESS IT, YOU NUMPTY. He has no moral high ground whatsoever. He's lower than a snake. I think Sara might be thicker than Ashleigh. Deana's face was a picture, followed by: 'you did press it, you were just too slow.' I love the fact she's just saying it now. She really doesn't give a shit anymore, and that is glorious. She also somehow looks more beautiful, with this weight off her shoulders. She's definitely Queen Bee now.
Love Scott and Luke A speculating about Luke S's sexuality. That guy really can't catch a break right now. I hope Sara and Ashleigh are up this week, as they're both thick and horrid.
I've never seen Ashleigh wear those leggings before. How could you still have unworn clothes after two months?
You can tell from Deana's face she's done with Sara now. I hope she nominates her. Well, she's got to nominate either Scott, Ashleigh or Sara cos it's soldiers4life, innit? I really want Scott to get to the final.
This magic potion task is really funny. Is it safe to drink weird dry ice stuff? I didn't see Luke S saying he loved him! Deana's task was funny, too.
Luke S drank the 'I've lost 50 grand' potion. We never got to see what Ashleigh, Scott or Adam's potion was. Maybe Ashleigh's was an intelligence potion, therefore there was no footage to show.
How funny that Luke S had his bum cheeks out in the bath and Ashleigh didn't bat an eyelid. I don't think she even finds him physically attractive. I was agog.
I don't think Luke S is being any more cocky than usual; he's always been king cock. His best move would be to lie low and seem a bit beaten, in my opinion. A new low: Luke wearing pink sunglasses in the bath.
I have those skull glasses they're drinking out of! I swear they have a party ever night in that house.
Luke: 'I don't know if I'm keen on those wedges.' Who asked you, motherfucker? Why is he telling Ashleigh what to wear. I'd tell him to go fuck himself. I can't STAND blokes like that. I have a jumper my boyfriend particularly hates and I wear it with glee.
Luke is adding more fuel to his gay fire. Keep stoking it!
LOL, Dean's pissed as a fart. Her diatribe to Luke S was FUCKING HILARIOUS. Luke S's face. That was a PROPER rub in. Then halfway through she went sorry, and then started on him again. 'It's only a bit of banter' - I actually applauded at that. Luke S didn't have one word to say, just this fixed look as if he was trying very hard not to knock her block off.
Shit, someone needs to put Deana to bed, quick. She's telling the truth and people don't like it. Adam should just go to Luke S, 'ignore her, she's drunk.'
Soldiers: put Deana to bed, for fuck's sake. She's just being drunk and argumentative; we all get like that sometimes. Everyone says stupid things when they're drunk, she just happened to say some very funny things, too.
Luke S in the diary room: BOO WOO. I love the fact they keep cutting to Deana giggling hysterically like a madwoman. LOL Deana made Luke S cry. I was proper cackling along with Deana. She should get drunk more often. It's kind of ironic that even though the horrible Conor has gone with half the cash, it's almost been worth it to see the others so free and unleashed. That was one of the funniest episodes I've seen so far. Deana FTW.
Saturday, 4 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Why am I crying?
I have an announcement to make: this planet is populated with scumbags. The amount of abuse Benedict has been getting on Twitter for saying THE TRUTH about the vile Conor. I wrote a few back and I've had girls calling think a thick, ugly slut. I find it quite amusing because you can own them by simply spelling a sentence right, but they are giving Benedict serious death threats. It's not acceptable. And it's also scary how anyone can defend that man - I would have thought even his own mother would be ashamed of him.
'It's just about getting to the final for me,' says Conor - cut to Conor walking out the door with a briefcase full of cash.
WOW to Deana sticking it to Becky. A little bit of context for that argument would have been nice.
I love seeing Becky all indignant - FOR THE LAST TIME before they have to winch the wall off and crane her out of there. 'Nothing she'd change about herself' - fucking hell, I'd have a list of about a million.
Deana is acting a little wacky today. I think I like it. Ashleigh, it doesn't matter what you wear, you'll still be a ratty, scabby waste of oxygen. PS: that dress looks gross.
Big Brother: 'Would you like Conor and Luke to stay in the white room forever?' Luke: 'Forever's a long time, but yes.' LOL.
Conor: 'if I won the show, I wouldn't give a fuck about the money.' Conor's doing a serious hard-sell on Luke S, a bit of strong game play there, 'you're more likely to win than me'.
Ashleigh thinks she can leave with her 'head held high'. Only if it's got a bag over it.
I like the way the soldiers cuddled when waiting for the eviction results. They're real friends, who really care. Everyone else is only out for themselves.
Becky will 'literally' never forget being in the house. Hopefully in time I'll literally forget she existed.
The soldiers are gloating a bit, but I don't blame them. Again, Ashleigh is saved, though? How come?
Quite sweet watching this button bullshit again. My boyfriend was right: Luke had his hands behind his back Family Fortunes style, he wasn't primed and ready to go. It was greed that was his undoing; if he'd just pressed it a second earlier. Conor was seriously sly there.
Why did they tell them they have one minute to take the money. It's obvious to leave it until the last minute.
That was DELICIOUS seeing how close the button press was. 'What about Ashleigh?' What about her? Luke's face when he realised was just brilliant. You leave with NOTHING. I could watch that on a loop for an hour. 'I would have split the money' - bit late to make that deal now. Luke; you leave with NOTHING.
Luke is SO angry. Sobbing like a baby. Why is Ashleigh so happy for Conor? Misjudged, much?
I want to feel sorry for Luke S but I'm laughing too hard. It's not the first time he's been humiliated in that house; and probably wont be the last.
Everyone seemed happy to see Conor leave; shame we had to pay him off first.Yeah take the blood money and fuck off, you hateful prick.
Was Adam even laughing at Luke? There was no camera on him to tell. Deana: 'if I was you I'd be crying right now.' Rub it in, girl!
Scott sussed what was going on straight away. Will Luke S get a few sympathy votes this week?
'What's the house going to be like without Becky and Conor?' Better.
Luke S, you'll always be remembered as a no.1 loser. Conor virtually disowned Luke S's friendship the second he left the house.
Luke S: 'why am I crying?' Because you got played. Because you got fucked over and your ego got hurt.
Everyone saying 'I would/ wouldn't have taken the money' is crap, everyone would have taken that fucking money. I don't blame Conor for taking the money and stabbing Luke in the back. That just showed that everything we knew about him was true. I resent the Big Brother producers for allowing it to happen - it's not just morally wrong, it's virtually corrupt.
I love Deana telling Luke S to cry. CRY CRY CRY.
Scott has got this situation sussed. Love the soldiers rubbing it in. Deana is enjoying this SO MUCH. Luke looks like he's just been through the wars and back. I think he might need some post-traumatic counselling.
I'm surprised the other housemates arent more pissed off about Con-man taking the money. Do you think they're packing Conor's suitcase nicely or not nicely? I'd pack it Banged Up Abroad style.
The pecking order in that house is really going to change now. Luke is defeated. Deana is powerful. She deserves her moment to revel in this, although it's still not fair Conor got that £££.
At work when we're bitching about someone in the kitchen and they walk into the room we have a secret code phrase to change the subject. These guys should work on that.
Loved the little montage of Luke S pacing around at the end. They really have treated him like the bellend he is since he walked in that door. Oddly, they've treated Conor as if he's the second coming.
The saddest thing, though, was seeing Conor walking out of that house with a smile on his face, happy as as a pig in shit. I hope he gets robbed on the way home. Whatever: I just don't want to look at his fucking ugly face ever again. And I hope Deana sues BB when she gets out for jeapordising her health and safety. And I hope some other things that are probably unprintable on Blogger.
'It's just about getting to the final for me,' says Conor - cut to Conor walking out the door with a briefcase full of cash.
WOW to Deana sticking it to Becky. A little bit of context for that argument would have been nice.
I love seeing Becky all indignant - FOR THE LAST TIME before they have to winch the wall off and crane her out of there. 'Nothing she'd change about herself' - fucking hell, I'd have a list of about a million.
Deana is acting a little wacky today. I think I like it. Ashleigh, it doesn't matter what you wear, you'll still be a ratty, scabby waste of oxygen. PS: that dress looks gross.
Big Brother: 'Would you like Conor and Luke to stay in the white room forever?' Luke: 'Forever's a long time, but yes.' LOL.
Conor: 'if I won the show, I wouldn't give a fuck about the money.' Conor's doing a serious hard-sell on Luke S, a bit of strong game play there, 'you're more likely to win than me'.
Ashleigh thinks she can leave with her 'head held high'. Only if it's got a bag over it.
I like the way the soldiers cuddled when waiting for the eviction results. They're real friends, who really care. Everyone else is only out for themselves.
Becky will 'literally' never forget being in the house. Hopefully in time I'll literally forget she existed.
The soldiers are gloating a bit, but I don't blame them. Again, Ashleigh is saved, though? How come?
Quite sweet watching this button bullshit again. My boyfriend was right: Luke had his hands behind his back Family Fortunes style, he wasn't primed and ready to go. It was greed that was his undoing; if he'd just pressed it a second earlier. Conor was seriously sly there.
Why did they tell them they have one minute to take the money. It's obvious to leave it until the last minute.
That was DELICIOUS seeing how close the button press was. 'What about Ashleigh?' What about her? Luke's face when he realised was just brilliant. You leave with NOTHING. I could watch that on a loop for an hour. 'I would have split the money' - bit late to make that deal now. Luke; you leave with NOTHING.
Luke is SO angry. Sobbing like a baby. Why is Ashleigh so happy for Conor? Misjudged, much?
I want to feel sorry for Luke S but I'm laughing too hard. It's not the first time he's been humiliated in that house; and probably wont be the last.
Everyone seemed happy to see Conor leave; shame we had to pay him off first.Yeah take the blood money and fuck off, you hateful prick.
Was Adam even laughing at Luke? There was no camera on him to tell. Deana: 'if I was you I'd be crying right now.' Rub it in, girl!
Scott sussed what was going on straight away. Will Luke S get a few sympathy votes this week?
'What's the house going to be like without Becky and Conor?' Better.
Luke S, you'll always be remembered as a no.1 loser. Conor virtually disowned Luke S's friendship the second he left the house.
Luke S: 'why am I crying?' Because you got played. Because you got fucked over and your ego got hurt.
Everyone saying 'I would/ wouldn't have taken the money' is crap, everyone would have taken that fucking money. I don't blame Conor for taking the money and stabbing Luke in the back. That just showed that everything we knew about him was true. I resent the Big Brother producers for allowing it to happen - it's not just morally wrong, it's virtually corrupt.
I love Deana telling Luke S to cry. CRY CRY CRY.
Scott has got this situation sussed. Love the soldiers rubbing it in. Deana is enjoying this SO MUCH. Luke looks like he's just been through the wars and back. I think he might need some post-traumatic counselling.
I'm surprised the other housemates arent more pissed off about Con-man taking the money. Do you think they're packing Conor's suitcase nicely or not nicely? I'd pack it Banged Up Abroad style.
The pecking order in that house is really going to change now. Luke is defeated. Deana is powerful. She deserves her moment to revel in this, although it's still not fair Conor got that £££.
At work when we're bitching about someone in the kitchen and they walk into the room we have a secret code phrase to change the subject. These guys should work on that.
Loved the little montage of Luke S pacing around at the end. They really have treated him like the bellend he is since he walked in that door. Oddly, they've treated Conor as if he's the second coming.
The saddest thing, though, was seeing Conor walking out of that house with a smile on his face, happy as as a pig in shit. I hope he gets robbed on the way home. Whatever: I just don't want to look at his fucking ugly face ever again. And I hope Deana sues BB when she gets out for jeapordising her health and safety. And I hope some other things that are probably unprintable on Blogger.
Friday, 3 August 2012
Big Brother 13: At the end of the day, I'm the one with 50K
So let's just get this straight. On a completely arbitrary task; Conor and Luke are given the chance to steal half the prize money; money then don't deserve, the public don't want them to have. A free pass to the final was bad enough; the money is just a final insult to everyone watching. Half the winners money, for nothing. Adam got a TV for his troubles on the last task. Why are these two knob-jockeys getting offered two amazing prizes? The producers haven't just lost their mind, they've basically taken away 'you decide' and changed it to 'fuck you.' If it was £10K I'd say fair enough, but half is just morally wrong, especially the way it was decided how housemates who go into the white room would happen. Unjust, unfair, unreal.
I don't know how Deana remains so calm around Sara. She must be fucking seething. Sara is just an awful person. They did her a favour editing her out for the first month.
Becky: 'I really can't wait to see the back of Deana and Luke A.' Presumptuous much? Ashleigh's enjoyed her past two months; can't say I have. Worst, most morally corrupt Big Brother ever, it's been a hateful experience.
I'm glad Brian is saying 'up to 50K' meaning hopefully they'll get less.
I loved seeing Luke S so irate at this task, it's fucking hilarious. Love the fact Becky and Ashleigh couldn't work out all the answers had 'white' in the title. That made me laugh quite a lot. Luke S has about as much respect for Ashleigh as I do for Conor. Did Ashleigh really think Santa Claus lives in the whitehouse? That task was very funny.
Did Ashleigh sleep through the entirely of school? Conor was actually being quite funny then, trying to psyche Luke S out.
Becky's getting quite booed! GOOD! LITERALLY kick that bitch out of the door; HOW DARE WE? etc. I'd really love to see Becky walk out that door tonight as I'm sure she thinks she's a shoe-in to win,
Luke S's punishment doesn't seem that bad. Has bean!
At least Luke A is brave enough to admit he feels jealous and insecure around Conor. Most people wouldn't have the gumption. He over analyses himself a lot, though.
Luke A is missing 'everyone in the house' - oh and Ashleigh. Can he say Ashleigh's name without yawning?
I'm not convinced Luke A believes in God, but I like the fact he prays anyway, to encourage God to affect the outcome of a gameshow.
YES Becky's a goner. Everyone saw right through your crap. Hope she falls down the stairs. Loving the sign saying 'BMI'. Show that bit where Luke A OWNED her in her best bits.
I think she's actually scrubbed up quite well tonight. Literally counter: 4.
Brian is giving her a bit of a hard time. It's always easier to have a go at the women evictees, isn't it?
Becky is clapping at her own odiousness. What IS a cheese-face?! That was cruel when she pretended to be friends with Deana for a week - what a cunt move.
OH NO Conor got the whole 50K. I honestly though Luke had pressed it first. Talk about cheated: we didn't get any choice in that. We didn't get to see Conor get his comeuppance; we got to see him rewarded. Seeing Luke S so pissed off is quite sweet, though. Conor shouldn't have even been able to say goodbye in my opinion.
How wrong is that seeing him walk out with half of Deana's swag? Fucking disgusting. No matter what happens now he's got one over on her.
LOL, Conor still lives with his mum and dad. Brian's not had one go at him yet. LOL to that whitewash of Conor vs Deana - not even showing epilator gate. Says it all.
Ooh, they did bring it up. He said sorry in the Diary Room. How about saying sorry to Deana?
Whatever way you dress this up now; even if Deana wins, that fucking scum walked off with half her money. Just wrong, wrong, wrong. I thought Brian was harder on Becky than Conor.
Oh well; at least we don't have to look at Conor anymore. He showed what he was made of: a steaming pile of greedy, misogynistic hate-machine.
Loved the bit when Luke S came back in the house on the live feed and went 'what are you laughing at?' to Adam much. The mighty douche. Out douched by an early man. SUCKA.
I don't know how Deana remains so calm around Sara. She must be fucking seething. Sara is just an awful person. They did her a favour editing her out for the first month.
Becky: 'I really can't wait to see the back of Deana and Luke A.' Presumptuous much? Ashleigh's enjoyed her past two months; can't say I have. Worst, most morally corrupt Big Brother ever, it's been a hateful experience.
I'm glad Brian is saying 'up to 50K' meaning hopefully they'll get less.
I loved seeing Luke S so irate at this task, it's fucking hilarious. Love the fact Becky and Ashleigh couldn't work out all the answers had 'white' in the title. That made me laugh quite a lot. Luke S has about as much respect for Ashleigh as I do for Conor. Did Ashleigh really think Santa Claus lives in the whitehouse? That task was very funny.
Did Ashleigh sleep through the entirely of school? Conor was actually being quite funny then, trying to psyche Luke S out.
Becky's getting quite booed! GOOD! LITERALLY kick that bitch out of the door; HOW DARE WE? etc. I'd really love to see Becky walk out that door tonight as I'm sure she thinks she's a shoe-in to win,
Luke S's punishment doesn't seem that bad. Has bean!
At least Luke A is brave enough to admit he feels jealous and insecure around Conor. Most people wouldn't have the gumption. He over analyses himself a lot, though.
Luke A is missing 'everyone in the house' - oh and Ashleigh. Can he say Ashleigh's name without yawning?
I'm not convinced Luke A believes in God, but I like the fact he prays anyway, to encourage God to affect the outcome of a gameshow.
YES Becky's a goner. Everyone saw right through your crap. Hope she falls down the stairs. Loving the sign saying 'BMI'. Show that bit where Luke A OWNED her in her best bits.
I think she's actually scrubbed up quite well tonight. Literally counter: 4.
Brian is giving her a bit of a hard time. It's always easier to have a go at the women evictees, isn't it?
Becky is clapping at her own odiousness. What IS a cheese-face?! That was cruel when she pretended to be friends with Deana for a week - what a cunt move.
OH NO Conor got the whole 50K. I honestly though Luke had pressed it first. Talk about cheated: we didn't get any choice in that. We didn't get to see Conor get his comeuppance; we got to see him rewarded. Seeing Luke S so pissed off is quite sweet, though. Conor shouldn't have even been able to say goodbye in my opinion.
How wrong is that seeing him walk out with half of Deana's swag? Fucking disgusting. No matter what happens now he's got one over on her.
LOL, Conor still lives with his mum and dad. Brian's not had one go at him yet. LOL to that whitewash of Conor vs Deana - not even showing epilator gate. Says it all.
Ooh, they did bring it up. He said sorry in the Diary Room. How about saying sorry to Deana?
Whatever way you dress this up now; even if Deana wins, that fucking scum walked off with half her money. Just wrong, wrong, wrong. I thought Brian was harder on Becky than Conor.
Oh well; at least we don't have to look at Conor anymore. He showed what he was made of: a steaming pile of greedy, misogynistic hate-machine.
Loved the bit when Luke S came back in the house on the live feed and went 'what are you laughing at?' to Adam much. The mighty douche. Out douched by an early man. SUCKA.
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Big Brother 13: David Dimblebully
So WTF happened with the White Room yesterday? Wasn't there meant to be some live twist on BOTS? That was the weirdest BOTS ever; cobbled together crap (and I mean more so than usual). Paul Ross is always a a treat, though. So I read on Digital Spy they were gonna give one of them 25K but couldn't risk giving it to Conor because of his racist family's Facebook page. I don't know if that's true though, but we didn't get the show that was billed last night. And I don't trust BB producers as far as I can throw them.
So far the white room has been a damp squib. It's like a toothpaste commercial. What's the difference between the white room and the rest of the house? Just the wallpaper.
There's not much suspense as we already know Sara walked, as we knew the second she arrived.
I just wouldn't even bother showering if it was cold. I could go three days without. Sara's make-up thing is tedious. Who cares about her white face? She has no stamina. She doesn't deserve to win.
God, this series of Big Brother is depressing. And I've got tomorrow off and I'm drunk. And it's still depressing. Walk, Becky, walk. Walk away. Power walk. There's the door. Go seek out your mint banter.
£5 for a whole chicken is quite dear, especially from Morrissons, you can get three cruel battery bleached ones for a tenner.
I love the word 'cahoots'! Oh Deana, shut up. Stop moaning, FFS. They're all humourless pricks. Hold on, where is Scott? He's the only funny person in that house. I don't like 'agreeing to disagree.' I prefer to disagree, loudly.
So Lauren was a chav and Scabby isn't? They don't even have chavs in Jersey. Don't say you hate chavs, Scabby, as they're the only people voting for you. I hate the word chav. It's just classist bollocks.
Who would trust Becky to cut their hair? Scott looks best with his Eminem cut. Anyway, filler. Is Scott allowed to say 'soldier' without getting into trouble with the scum alliance?
If I was in the white room I'd try and think of as many songs as I could with the word white in the title. We just thought of about 20.
Anyone who fancies Prince Harry is blind. End of conversation. How does Scott know about the Queen's sleeping arrangements? Why are they ALWAYS going on about the Queen on Big Brother? Fucking illuminati BULLSHIT. Rodrigo I could tolerate but not this crap. I could go a whole year without ever mentioning that dried up old bitch. Why are these supposed young people so obsessed with her?
Conor is brushing his teeth with shower gel. Hope it's anthrax flavoured; that's white, isn't it?
If Becky says LITERALLY one more time I'm LITERALLY going to eat the rest of these fruit pastilles I have sitting here. Nom.
Most of the boys Ashleigh knows can't get it up? Oh, no, sorry, I think she said most old people can't stand up. Nice.
This dancing task is actually quite good and at least amusing. LOL to Adam's dancing. This task is hard! I can't believe Conor got that! How does Luke A know the dance routine to Love Machine?!
Jump around! 'I'll serve it up like John MCEnroe, if the bitch steps up I'm smacking the ho.' Conor will like that song as it's about VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.
Deana's was hard! LOL to Becky doing the Beyonce move! That was the funniest thing she'd ever done in the house.
Scott should know his Kylie. Conor is a bit disproportionately angry about this. Mind you, it's a bit out of character, as he's normally such a polite chap. That task was good. We just did three or four Morrissey song mimes to celebrate. I did November Spawned a Monster, obv.
I think Sara's got moany-itis. She's not exactly Damien Echols in solitary confinement; just press the button and leave, you muppet. Mind you, at least Damien Echols didn't have to put up with Conor.
Luke S just made me laugh by answering the phone and going 'the Bucket residence.' Yes, I said it. Luke S just made me laugh. PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON, SARA, YOU DICK. Is her button broke? She's just worried about vanity. It's not a torture camp.
I'm LITERALLY bored out of my BRAIN. Oh the tension. Who will leave the room? I literally can't guess. So they forced her to stay in that room to do that fake bit of tension? Pathetic. Conor and Luke S must be thrilled Sara's leaving. Annoying bint.
At least Scott's calling it like he sees it. I think he almost did a 'boo woo'. That was such a load of gash. I hope whoever invented this task has been fired. I hope Luke S and Conor stay in there forever and they throw away the key. Conor's doing a bit of gameplay here, saying he needs it more.
This onion cutting up task reminds me of the Beavis and Butthead I watched the other day when Butthead started crying cos he got a bit of onion in his hotdog. That was about 5000% more entertaining than this. It was literally just one joke: 'you were crying - you were moved'. Brilliant. It's making me cry with laughter just thinking about it. I AM drunk.
Sara watches Question Time every week! How come she's so thick? I hate people who are cagey about who they vote for *obviously a Tory*. HAHAHAHA then she admitted it! Her votes are going out the window. Sara is so stupid. LOL, why is she being so touchy about it? Politics fail. She won't give us one reason why she voted for them. Deana won that one. Even Ashleigh mucked in! Amazing. I'd love to have heard her whole hour long politics rant where she specified no particular policy she was interested in.
Well done Sara for using your vote so wisely. I'll be using my vote wisely this week, too. Is she drunk? What paper do you think Sara reads?
Ha, are they going to turn around and blame this on Deana now? For realz? Cos she called you out because you've got nothing to back up your argument? How did you vote: ip, dip, doo? Did you use a crayon? 'Tell me one thing about why you voted Tory' is a FAIR QUESTION. OMG! The injustice. Even Scott is joining in with the witch hunt.
My boyfriend person saying a Scottish person voting Tory is as bad as admitting you're a paedophile. Any questions?
So far the white room has been a damp squib. It's like a toothpaste commercial. What's the difference between the white room and the rest of the house? Just the wallpaper.
There's not much suspense as we already know Sara walked, as we knew the second she arrived.
I just wouldn't even bother showering if it was cold. I could go three days without. Sara's make-up thing is tedious. Who cares about her white face? She has no stamina. She doesn't deserve to win.
God, this series of Big Brother is depressing. And I've got tomorrow off and I'm drunk. And it's still depressing. Walk, Becky, walk. Walk away. Power walk. There's the door. Go seek out your mint banter.
£5 for a whole chicken is quite dear, especially from Morrissons, you can get three cruel battery bleached ones for a tenner.
I love the word 'cahoots'! Oh Deana, shut up. Stop moaning, FFS. They're all humourless pricks. Hold on, where is Scott? He's the only funny person in that house. I don't like 'agreeing to disagree.' I prefer to disagree, loudly.
So Lauren was a chav and Scabby isn't? They don't even have chavs in Jersey. Don't say you hate chavs, Scabby, as they're the only people voting for you. I hate the word chav. It's just classist bollocks.
Who would trust Becky to cut their hair? Scott looks best with his Eminem cut. Anyway, filler. Is Scott allowed to say 'soldier' without getting into trouble with the scum alliance?
If I was in the white room I'd try and think of as many songs as I could with the word white in the title. We just thought of about 20.
Anyone who fancies Prince Harry is blind. End of conversation. How does Scott know about the Queen's sleeping arrangements? Why are they ALWAYS going on about the Queen on Big Brother? Fucking illuminati BULLSHIT. Rodrigo I could tolerate but not this crap. I could go a whole year without ever mentioning that dried up old bitch. Why are these supposed young people so obsessed with her?
Conor is brushing his teeth with shower gel. Hope it's anthrax flavoured; that's white, isn't it?
If Becky says LITERALLY one more time I'm LITERALLY going to eat the rest of these fruit pastilles I have sitting here. Nom.
Most of the boys Ashleigh knows can't get it up? Oh, no, sorry, I think she said most old people can't stand up. Nice.
This dancing task is actually quite good and at least amusing. LOL to Adam's dancing. This task is hard! I can't believe Conor got that! How does Luke A know the dance routine to Love Machine?!
Jump around! 'I'll serve it up like John MCEnroe, if the bitch steps up I'm smacking the ho.' Conor will like that song as it's about VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN.
Deana's was hard! LOL to Becky doing the Beyonce move! That was the funniest thing she'd ever done in the house.
Scott should know his Kylie. Conor is a bit disproportionately angry about this. Mind you, it's a bit out of character, as he's normally such a polite chap. That task was good. We just did three or four Morrissey song mimes to celebrate. I did November Spawned a Monster, obv.
I think Sara's got moany-itis. She's not exactly Damien Echols in solitary confinement; just press the button and leave, you muppet. Mind you, at least Damien Echols didn't have to put up with Conor.
Luke S just made me laugh by answering the phone and going 'the Bucket residence.' Yes, I said it. Luke S just made me laugh. PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON, SARA, YOU DICK. Is her button broke? She's just worried about vanity. It's not a torture camp.
I'm LITERALLY bored out of my BRAIN. Oh the tension. Who will leave the room? I literally can't guess. So they forced her to stay in that room to do that fake bit of tension? Pathetic. Conor and Luke S must be thrilled Sara's leaving. Annoying bint.
At least Scott's calling it like he sees it. I think he almost did a 'boo woo'. That was such a load of gash. I hope whoever invented this task has been fired. I hope Luke S and Conor stay in there forever and they throw away the key. Conor's doing a bit of gameplay here, saying he needs it more.
This onion cutting up task reminds me of the Beavis and Butthead I watched the other day when Butthead started crying cos he got a bit of onion in his hotdog. That was about 5000% more entertaining than this. It was literally just one joke: 'you were crying - you were moved'. Brilliant. It's making me cry with laughter just thinking about it. I AM drunk.
Sara watches Question Time every week! How come she's so thick? I hate people who are cagey about who they vote for *obviously a Tory*. HAHAHAHA then she admitted it! Her votes are going out the window. Sara is so stupid. LOL, why is she being so touchy about it? Politics fail. She won't give us one reason why she voted for them. Deana won that one. Even Ashleigh mucked in! Amazing. I'd love to have heard her whole hour long politics rant where she specified no particular policy she was interested in.
Well done Sara for using your vote so wisely. I'll be using my vote wisely this week, too. Is she drunk? What paper do you think Sara reads?
Ha, are they going to turn around and blame this on Deana now? For realz? Cos she called you out because you've got nothing to back up your argument? How did you vote: ip, dip, doo? Did you use a crayon? 'Tell me one thing about why you voted Tory' is a FAIR QUESTION. OMG! The injustice. Even Scott is joining in with the witch hunt.
My boyfriend person saying a Scottish person voting Tory is as bad as admitting you're a paedophile. Any questions?
Big Brother 13: Pulling a whitey
Sorry I'm late, was waiting for my drunken partner to return, and he returned a little later than anticipated. And he ticked the 'boo' box on my blog last night. Well, he needs a 'boo woo' box especially for him. BOO WOO. Anyway.
"You can wear you new white shoes in the muddy afternoon," sang Conor Oberst, on one of his loveliest and most underrated solo songs. Meanwhile, back in the land of living hell, Luke S, Conor and Sara, already whining about quitting as she walks in the door to the white room, enter the much hyped white room task, which they couldn't even bother to fix to get one 'outsider' in there so anyone gave a shit. Dur.
I live on white food anyway, so I'd be alright.
I listened to all three hours of the interview with Tom from last year on the Big Brother Gossip show (search on Itunes, I don't want to link cos I don't want to spoilerise BBUSA for myself) at work today. God, he goes on a lot. It was still quite interesting though; like how he wasn't allowed to speak to his family much when they let him out for his granddad's funeral and stuff and all the bits they cut out and stuff.
Becky LITERALLY this and LITERALLY that. Shut it! I wish you weren't there either. Oh Luke A, stop moaning, you're getting on my wick. Have faith in yourself. What sort of soldier are you? A tin one!
They should play some Basshunter in the white room. Eww, eating in the bath.
Oh Deana, stop going on about being fat. It doesn't win you girl votes.
Is Luke kissing Ashleigh's herpes-covered mouth? Romance isn't dead between these two; pasta, spots, cum-rags, it really is love's young dream.
War is a serious matter; the 'soldier' rubbish isn't. Fuck off, Luke, prawny. Is this show extra long tonight? It's extra boring so far.
HORROR CORRIDOR. I wish whoever walked down it would get evaporated. Corridors of glower. I wish there was a secret house in that white corridor, full of the housemates we deserved instead of this rabble.
Scott is a fool for dropping out of the task so eagerly. I think he thinks the public doesn't like him and he doesn't want to win that way. I would like this task 100% more if Scott was in it. I couldn't care less who wins out of Luke S, Conor or Sara. I hope the white drink they have to drink is spunk.
What's up with Sara? Pull yourself together. It's like 'I survived beyond and back' in that white room. Her lipstick looks good, though. The white room is flattering to the complexion, like the Apprentice boardroom. It reminds me of that Shattered show that Dermot did where they couldn't sleep and all started hallucinating.
I do understand what Luke A is saying about 'I want to be saved legit' but I think he's still seething.
Conor wants to 'give something back.' I hope it's the money if he wins to Refuge. Sara is really bugging me with her quitty attitude. Where's the Deana-style girl power?
Adam looks all young and cheeky when they flash his face up in between sections. That house has dragged him down.
Luke and Scabby are not going to get a flat together. What do you miss about Luke S, Ashleigh? Is it his sparkling wit or his modesty?
Even when Conor's giving someone a pep talk he's argumentative. He's trying to psych them out to leave.
LOL to Deana being expelled from four schools. What for?!
Scott: 'I don't want to be Luke S.' I don't think even Luke S does anymore.
I don't find Ashleigh very domineering. I just find her quite irritating. Wait until Ashleigh sees the photos of Lauren in Nuts magazine; she'll be seething. No one's going to want to see her scabby old bits.
I like the fact Sara is staying in the white room purely for the undies. Can't she just press Luke S's button for him? It's like the bullshit button on Richplanet.net. Do they think we were born yesterday?
Luke looks like the gayest stormtrooper on the Death Star.
What luxuries are they going to get in the white room: cocaine and milkybars? Conor looks like Friar Tuck today. He's being a dick. Who cares about a massage? He's being so childish!
They've very excited about ice cream and marshmallow. Imagine how excited they'd be if they really got cocaine?
Who cares if Sara said she likes stripping? She just said it to get in the house. Luke A and Adam are imaginingthat very scenario.
Ashleigh calling Deana 'a horrible piece of work' and Becky calling her 'disgusting.' Keep talking! Keep digging your jealous little hole, Danielle Lloyd and Jade. Keep dialling, nation.
LOL to 'men want to be me, men want to be with me.' Robot rock! I like it when Deana takes the mickey.
That white room is like an asylum. Are they even going to turn the lights off at night?
Deana's skin isn't looking so hot at the moment, either. I think it's that house, it can't be good having that air con on you, all the time.
White fact fans: In Malice in Wonderland, Danny Dyer plays the white rabbit character called 'Whitey'. Superhans and Dennis Pennis also star. That film rocks.
"You can wear you new white shoes in the muddy afternoon," sang Conor Oberst, on one of his loveliest and most underrated solo songs. Meanwhile, back in the land of living hell, Luke S, Conor and Sara, already whining about quitting as she walks in the door to the white room, enter the much hyped white room task, which they couldn't even bother to fix to get one 'outsider' in there so anyone gave a shit. Dur.
I live on white food anyway, so I'd be alright.
I listened to all three hours of the interview with Tom from last year on the Big Brother Gossip show (search on Itunes, I don't want to link cos I don't want to spoilerise BBUSA for myself) at work today. God, he goes on a lot. It was still quite interesting though; like how he wasn't allowed to speak to his family much when they let him out for his granddad's funeral and stuff and all the bits they cut out and stuff.
Becky LITERALLY this and LITERALLY that. Shut it! I wish you weren't there either. Oh Luke A, stop moaning, you're getting on my wick. Have faith in yourself. What sort of soldier are you? A tin one!
They should play some Basshunter in the white room. Eww, eating in the bath.
Oh Deana, stop going on about being fat. It doesn't win you girl votes.
Is Luke kissing Ashleigh's herpes-covered mouth? Romance isn't dead between these two; pasta, spots, cum-rags, it really is love's young dream.
War is a serious matter; the 'soldier' rubbish isn't. Fuck off, Luke, prawny. Is this show extra long tonight? It's extra boring so far.
HORROR CORRIDOR. I wish whoever walked down it would get evaporated. Corridors of glower. I wish there was a secret house in that white corridor, full of the housemates we deserved instead of this rabble.
Scott is a fool for dropping out of the task so eagerly. I think he thinks the public doesn't like him and he doesn't want to win that way. I would like this task 100% more if Scott was in it. I couldn't care less who wins out of Luke S, Conor or Sara. I hope the white drink they have to drink is spunk.
What's up with Sara? Pull yourself together. It's like 'I survived beyond and back' in that white room. Her lipstick looks good, though. The white room is flattering to the complexion, like the Apprentice boardroom. It reminds me of that Shattered show that Dermot did where they couldn't sleep and all started hallucinating.
I do understand what Luke A is saying about 'I want to be saved legit' but I think he's still seething.
Conor wants to 'give something back.' I hope it's the money if he wins to Refuge. Sara is really bugging me with her quitty attitude. Where's the Deana-style girl power?
Adam looks all young and cheeky when they flash his face up in between sections. That house has dragged him down.
Luke and Scabby are not going to get a flat together. What do you miss about Luke S, Ashleigh? Is it his sparkling wit or his modesty?
Even when Conor's giving someone a pep talk he's argumentative. He's trying to psych them out to leave.
LOL to Deana being expelled from four schools. What for?!
Scott: 'I don't want to be Luke S.' I don't think even Luke S does anymore.
I don't find Ashleigh very domineering. I just find her quite irritating. Wait until Ashleigh sees the photos of Lauren in Nuts magazine; she'll be seething. No one's going to want to see her scabby old bits.
I like the fact Sara is staying in the white room purely for the undies. Can't she just press Luke S's button for him? It's like the bullshit button on Richplanet.net. Do they think we were born yesterday?
Luke looks like the gayest stormtrooper on the Death Star.
What luxuries are they going to get in the white room: cocaine and milkybars? Conor looks like Friar Tuck today. He's being a dick. Who cares about a massage? He's being so childish!
They've very excited about ice cream and marshmallow. Imagine how excited they'd be if they really got cocaine?
Who cares if Sara said she likes stripping? She just said it to get in the house. Luke A and Adam are imaginingthat very scenario.
Ashleigh calling Deana 'a horrible piece of work' and Becky calling her 'disgusting.' Keep talking! Keep digging your jealous little hole, Danielle Lloyd and Jade. Keep dialling, nation.
LOL to 'men want to be me, men want to be with me.' Robot rock! I like it when Deana takes the mickey.
That white room is like an asylum. Are they even going to turn the lights off at night?
Deana's skin isn't looking so hot at the moment, either. I think it's that house, it can't be good having that air con on you, all the time.
White fact fans: In Malice in Wonderland, Danny Dyer plays the white rabbit character called 'Whitey'. Superhans and Dennis Pennis also star. That film rocks.
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Big Brother 13: I need to take a paracetemol
If it's not love, then it's the nom-bombs that will bring us together. Friends and family nominations! So why is Conor not up? Their TVs' broken or what? Remember that time he said he wanted to rape and punch Deana? Remember? Remember? Remember? I'm SURE Brian won't in Conor's eviction interview, especially if he wins the bloody thing.
Deana on Luke A: 'the kiss on his arm is his on off button.' Switch it off, then. I think most people would rather kiss Luke S than Ashleigh.
I'm glad Conor's getting his choice to nominate taken from him. Luke's got his prawn top on again.
The faces were interesting when they found out the friends and family were nominating' who looked excited and who didn't.
LOL to Sara's mum accusing Becky of 'actressing'. That was definitely a personal vote, not a vote for Sara's. Paracete-lols. Hilarious. 'Someone needs to hoover in here by the way.' Gross. Sara's mum would have made a better housemate than Sara. She's said more interesting things in two minutes than Sara's said in the whole series. Weird votes. Senseless tactics. But entertaining.
Adam's mum's English! Why is she wasting votes on Becky and Ashleigh; she should have gone for Conor and Luke S.
Ashleigh's coldsores are ick, and she's a barefaced liar.
Deana's friend DEFINITELY was not allowed to mention epilator-gate. She should have been much harder on him - 'he's not making much effort' - please.
Conor's girlfriend looks too nice for him. How can she stand up for that thing? How come she can mention the fact Deana, Adam and Luke call themselves 'soldiers' but Deana's friend isn't allowed to mention epilator gate? She shouldn't be allowed to mention things like that, or stuff to do with Luke A or Adam if she's not nominating them. Oh, she is nominating Luke A. What 'tricks' is Luke A playing? I hate the way these nominations will be cast as stone-cold facts now, even when they're not, they're just opinions by idiots.
Scott's sister looks kind of cool. Why is she nominating Deana? Luke A is eyeing up Scott's 17 year old sister. Why is Scott's sister nominating Becky as well? How come Scott's sister talks normally? How come Scott's sister is not nominating to benefit Scott's game? It shouldn't be personal nominations; why have they got no tactics?
Becky's sister is a complete bitch like her. She shouldn't be allowed to quote Luke verbatim. The BMI comment is perfectly valid. Becky DOES have no respect for her BMI. Why is Conor laughing?! My boyfriend said 'I'd be proud to hear someone quote me say that.'
I'm pissed off about them all mentioning 'soldier' gate because Deana has been through HELL in that house. Where's the mention of the FUCKING EPILATOR? Cunts! It's totally unfair.
Would have been funny if Luke S's mum had nominated Ashleigh. Adam is not SPITEFUL.
Ashleigh gets her looks from her dad, I see, fucking butt ugly. Thicko with thick nominations. I have been dragged down by these people; dragged down to their level, so I know how Luke A feels.
Luke A shouldn't say he needs 'work on' things because of stuff that people who've spawned children who don't know what an egg or a Nazi is say.
Luke's wife was right to nominate Ashleigh for her being a tattletale.
Why is Luke A sweating so much? He's done nothing wrong. Why would you let other people's opinions affect you so much when you know you're in the right?
Time for Becky to milk Luke S's comments. LUKE S WAS SPOT ON! You don't have any respect for yourself or your weight, you admitted yesterday you had a pile of food hidden under your bed.
The prawn is thrilled because no one nominated him. Yes, the public see this, Ashleigh. They see through YOU. The 'soldiers' thing is a sign of solidarity, an understanding amongst friends.
FUCK OFF BECKY YOU FAT FUCKING THICK FUCK! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! Seriously, I want her to go over Ashleigh. She's just an attention-seeking missle.
Stick to your guns, Luke A. Don't apologise to her. All those insiders do is slag off the outsiders 24/7 and none of them EVER apologise, they just haven't been caught out, so why the hell should Luke have to go crawling round to her as if she's Queen of the fucking house? Fuck her.
I don't even know why Luke A feels so bad. They've said a million times worse, it's just the friends and family weren't allowed to quote it, because it's such an inside job, such a stitch up. Becky IS enjoying every minute, and don't forget that for a second. She's been waiting for this moment to play the victim.
Now my boyfriend is mad at me because he said what Luke A said was disgusting, (contradicting what he said earlier) and I shouted at him, but it wasn't, it was bitchy, but it wasn't that bad, and it's not fair, it's not an even playing field. Luke A is a good person, and Becky is NOT and I can't help getting angry about it and I can't help getting passionate about it.
Luke A IS milking it, though. Don't get me wrong. Argh... I just hate this whole thing, I just hate the injustice of it, it's just so unfair the way the whole thing is so rigged. Once again Conor floats under the radar.
Ashleigh and Becky really think they're going to walk this eviction. But they're not and I can't wait to see their faces. I don't blame Sara for being confused about her mum's nominations. Her mum nominated selfishly, basically, not for her daughter's benefit. Don't worry about it, Scott.
Uh oh, Deana's drunk. She's making a good point, though. That's what I like about Deana. She doesn't go back on her word because of something someone says; she's always true to herself, in the face of extreme opposition. LOL her impression of Ashleigh was ridiculous but funny.
I think it's a bit (and I hate this word) inappropriate of Sara to say 'I think you're a very attractive guy and I'll be even happier when you get a dick.'
It's not even worth commenting on the shit coming out of Ashleigh's mouth.
Luke A DOES need to stop over-analysing. Just trust that the public aren't stupid. I mean; the public ARE stupid. But they're not THAT stupid. Right?
Oh, save the waterworks, Becky. You wouldn't comment on Luke A's appearance because you'd be thrown out for a hate crime. I hate the insiders taking the piss out of the soldiers thing; because they have NOT had to battle. They have sailed through, wrecking the show along the way. And it's wrong. It's just wrong.
Deana on Luke A: 'the kiss on his arm is his on off button.' Switch it off, then. I think most people would rather kiss Luke S than Ashleigh.
I'm glad Conor's getting his choice to nominate taken from him. Luke's got his prawn top on again.
The faces were interesting when they found out the friends and family were nominating' who looked excited and who didn't.
LOL to Sara's mum accusing Becky of 'actressing'. That was definitely a personal vote, not a vote for Sara's. Paracete-lols. Hilarious. 'Someone needs to hoover in here by the way.' Gross. Sara's mum would have made a better housemate than Sara. She's said more interesting things in two minutes than Sara's said in the whole series. Weird votes. Senseless tactics. But entertaining.
Adam's mum's English! Why is she wasting votes on Becky and Ashleigh; she should have gone for Conor and Luke S.
Ashleigh's coldsores are ick, and she's a barefaced liar.
Deana's friend DEFINITELY was not allowed to mention epilator-gate. She should have been much harder on him - 'he's not making much effort' - please.
Conor's girlfriend looks too nice for him. How can she stand up for that thing? How come she can mention the fact Deana, Adam and Luke call themselves 'soldiers' but Deana's friend isn't allowed to mention epilator gate? She shouldn't be allowed to mention things like that, or stuff to do with Luke A or Adam if she's not nominating them. Oh, she is nominating Luke A. What 'tricks' is Luke A playing? I hate the way these nominations will be cast as stone-cold facts now, even when they're not, they're just opinions by idiots.
Scott's sister looks kind of cool. Why is she nominating Deana? Luke A is eyeing up Scott's 17 year old sister. Why is Scott's sister nominating Becky as well? How come Scott's sister talks normally? How come Scott's sister is not nominating to benefit Scott's game? It shouldn't be personal nominations; why have they got no tactics?
Becky's sister is a complete bitch like her. She shouldn't be allowed to quote Luke verbatim. The BMI comment is perfectly valid. Becky DOES have no respect for her BMI. Why is Conor laughing?! My boyfriend said 'I'd be proud to hear someone quote me say that.'
I'm pissed off about them all mentioning 'soldier' gate because Deana has been through HELL in that house. Where's the mention of the FUCKING EPILATOR? Cunts! It's totally unfair.
Would have been funny if Luke S's mum had nominated Ashleigh. Adam is not SPITEFUL.
Ashleigh gets her looks from her dad, I see, fucking butt ugly. Thicko with thick nominations. I have been dragged down by these people; dragged down to their level, so I know how Luke A feels.
Luke A shouldn't say he needs 'work on' things because of stuff that people who've spawned children who don't know what an egg or a Nazi is say.
Luke's wife was right to nominate Ashleigh for her being a tattletale.
Why is Luke A sweating so much? He's done nothing wrong. Why would you let other people's opinions affect you so much when you know you're in the right?
Time for Becky to milk Luke S's comments. LUKE S WAS SPOT ON! You don't have any respect for yourself or your weight, you admitted yesterday you had a pile of food hidden under your bed.
The prawn is thrilled because no one nominated him. Yes, the public see this, Ashleigh. They see through YOU. The 'soldiers' thing is a sign of solidarity, an understanding amongst friends.
FUCK OFF BECKY YOU FAT FUCKING THICK FUCK! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! Seriously, I want her to go over Ashleigh. She's just an attention-seeking missle.
Stick to your guns, Luke A. Don't apologise to her. All those insiders do is slag off the outsiders 24/7 and none of them EVER apologise, they just haven't been caught out, so why the hell should Luke have to go crawling round to her as if she's Queen of the fucking house? Fuck her.
I don't even know why Luke A feels so bad. They've said a million times worse, it's just the friends and family weren't allowed to quote it, because it's such an inside job, such a stitch up. Becky IS enjoying every minute, and don't forget that for a second. She's been waiting for this moment to play the victim.
Now my boyfriend is mad at me because he said what Luke A said was disgusting, (contradicting what he said earlier) and I shouted at him, but it wasn't, it was bitchy, but it wasn't that bad, and it's not fair, it's not an even playing field. Luke A is a good person, and Becky is NOT and I can't help getting angry about it and I can't help getting passionate about it.
Luke A IS milking it, though. Don't get me wrong. Argh... I just hate this whole thing, I just hate the injustice of it, it's just so unfair the way the whole thing is so rigged. Once again Conor floats under the radar.
Ashleigh and Becky really think they're going to walk this eviction. But they're not and I can't wait to see their faces. I don't blame Sara for being confused about her mum's nominations. Her mum nominated selfishly, basically, not for her daughter's benefit. Don't worry about it, Scott.
Uh oh, Deana's drunk. She's making a good point, though. That's what I like about Deana. She doesn't go back on her word because of something someone says; she's always true to herself, in the face of extreme opposition. LOL her impression of Ashleigh was ridiculous but funny.
I think it's a bit (and I hate this word) inappropriate of Sara to say 'I think you're a very attractive guy and I'll be even happier when you get a dick.'
It's not even worth commenting on the shit coming out of Ashleigh's mouth.
Luke A DOES need to stop over-analysing. Just trust that the public aren't stupid. I mean; the public ARE stupid. But they're not THAT stupid. Right?
Oh, save the waterworks, Becky. You wouldn't comment on Luke A's appearance because you'd be thrown out for a hate crime. I hate the insiders taking the piss out of the soldiers thing; because they have NOT had to battle. They have sailed through, wrecking the show along the way. And it's wrong. It's just wrong.
Monday, 30 July 2012
Big Brother 13: I don't even know what morality means
Confession task. My boyfriend thinks Conor is going to confess about hairbrush/epilator gate tonight. Is he fuck!
My boyfriend then just fell asleep at the exact second the opening music to BB began. Everyone's a critic.
LOL to Luke S making excuses about why he stepped down from the task. Bitter little men. Love Luke A saying 'it was more stubbornness than endurance.' It was, and it was ace. He deserves that personal victory. Luke A is very competitive. I think his stamina shows a strength of character that could be in a winner. I can't decide who I want to win out of Luke A, Deana and Adam now. I liked the side of Deana I saw last night but she does flip flop quite a lot. I like it when she's smiling and having fun; it's shame she got stuck in that house with such a bunch of douches. I think I still like Adam the best. He's been the coolest.
Why is Deana suddenly suspicious of Adam? He just said he'd miss her when she'd gone. I think she does get quite paranoid at time. But even I wasn't that convinced with Adam's reassurance of Deana!
This confession task looks quite funny. Adam's admitting to being leery. Conor admits he's been angry, but he's reformed. LOL has BB had a word in his ear? Oh no, he's ashamed of shaving his pubes. Well, I suppose an epilator was involved somehow.
Luke is embarrassed about 'Barbell media'. So he should be. Becky hides food under her bed; groo. There was a bird cheeping under my bed (that my cat had been torturing) the other day and I had to save it's life. THAT was hardcore.
Is Ashleigh too thick to understand what Luke's telling her? It's literally in one ear and out the other, isn't it?
Interesting that Luke A admits to wanking; I do wonder about if that would be quite conflicting when you've not got the 'bits' you'd like to have. I am completely ignorant about that, so it was interesting to hear, and I'd like to know more about that.
What is that jacket Ashleigh's wearing? It looks like a fucking bin bag.
I want a cuddle off Adam. I reckon he gives good cuds. Scott's getting desperate; he even fancies Adam now. It's EASY to cook a roast. I don't get involved in that leg business, though. I'm breast only.
My boyfriend is asleep with his eyes open now. It's a bit scary!
I wouldn't want a massage off Conor. I wouldn't want him within 100 miles of me, restraining order, please. I like his technique: 'shut up and relax.' Watching him touch Deana's hand made my skin crawl. I've lost interest in this task. They should have shown the confessions on the big screen.
Don't worry about nominating, Conor, because your feral family will be doing it instead. Let me guess who they'll nominate... er...? Deana?
My boyfriend then just fell asleep at the exact second the opening music to BB began. Everyone's a critic.
LOL to Luke S making excuses about why he stepped down from the task. Bitter little men. Love Luke A saying 'it was more stubbornness than endurance.' It was, and it was ace. He deserves that personal victory. Luke A is very competitive. I think his stamina shows a strength of character that could be in a winner. I can't decide who I want to win out of Luke A, Deana and Adam now. I liked the side of Deana I saw last night but she does flip flop quite a lot. I like it when she's smiling and having fun; it's shame she got stuck in that house with such a bunch of douches. I think I still like Adam the best. He's been the coolest.
Why is Deana suddenly suspicious of Adam? He just said he'd miss her when she'd gone. I think she does get quite paranoid at time. But even I wasn't that convinced with Adam's reassurance of Deana!
This confession task looks quite funny. Adam's admitting to being leery. Conor admits he's been angry, but he's reformed. LOL has BB had a word in his ear? Oh no, he's ashamed of shaving his pubes. Well, I suppose an epilator was involved somehow.
Luke is embarrassed about 'Barbell media'. So he should be. Becky hides food under her bed; groo. There was a bird cheeping under my bed (that my cat had been torturing) the other day and I had to save it's life. THAT was hardcore.
Is Ashleigh too thick to understand what Luke's telling her? It's literally in one ear and out the other, isn't it?
Interesting that Luke A admits to wanking; I do wonder about if that would be quite conflicting when you've not got the 'bits' you'd like to have. I am completely ignorant about that, so it was interesting to hear, and I'd like to know more about that.
What is that jacket Ashleigh's wearing? It looks like a fucking bin bag.
I want a cuddle off Adam. I reckon he gives good cuds. Scott's getting desperate; he even fancies Adam now. It's EASY to cook a roast. I don't get involved in that leg business, though. I'm breast only.
My boyfriend is asleep with his eyes open now. It's a bit scary!
I wouldn't want a massage off Conor. I wouldn't want him within 100 miles of me, restraining order, please. I like his technique: 'shut up and relax.' Watching him touch Deana's hand made my skin crawl. I've lost interest in this task. They should have shown the confessions on the big screen.
Don't worry about nominating, Conor, because your feral family will be doing it instead. Let me guess who they'll nominate... er...? Deana?
Sunday, 29 July 2012
Big Brother 13: Does it come with Freeview?
Scott seems to really be missing Caroline, doesn't he? Ah, and he's slagging off Luke S, too, that's cool. So he says he likes Luke A and Adam but he's sitting on fence still. Could he be the swing vote now Sara's had her ill-judged meltdown?
Scott, Sara and Ashleigh are discussing the economic crisis. Ashleigh doesn't like kids popping out babies as it 'takes her taxes'. What job does she do, again? I doubt if she could operate an electronic toothbrush. Sara's having another attention-seek cry. I get the feeling this girl cries at everything; from Hollyoaks to a picture of a cute puppy.
Ashleigh doesn't care about getting boos. She doesn't care, right? She don't give two flying fucks. Conor: 'I've been saved four times.' Yes, by your extended family, I presume, unless they're letting rapists vote from prison now.
Loving Adam getting to choose the prizes for the competition; especially giving Ashleigh a toilet brush. I love endurance tasks! Giving Conor the spa day was one in the eye too; enjoy your massage, prick.
These endurance tasks are all about ego, or about whether you need a wee or not. I have quite a weak bladder so I could probably only last three hours (about as long as I last at a gig - I have a strict 'no drink, get near the front' policy).
Who's to come off first? My £ is on Becky. Why is Sara doing it in her bikini? She'll be cold later.
Luke was being supportive to Ashleigh; telling her to get off the box. What a prick. Are they arguing as a tactic to annoy the others? Ah, I win my bet. Becky toppled off. All the weak-willed ones quit first.
LOL to Adam trying to psych Conor out. Conor is on the hop. Adam's got him in one spot and he's tearing a strip off him; I love it! Where's Luke A's spine gone? Why has he turned his back on the conversation?
Adam: 'you have no compassion, care.' Conor had no response to that. Wise words from Adam there.
Oh come on, Ashleigh, no one buying your faux DR apology. If you know you're a decent person, why the boos even bother you? I'd laugh at the boos. I know I rub people up the wrong way; when people slag me off on my blog I think it's funny. Don't you understand yourself at all? You're not getting booed for the way you treat Luke S, you're getting booed because you're vile inside and out, and the only thing that ever comes out of your mouth is bile or idiocy.
Do they know Adam picked the prizes? They don't, do they? Adam looks like he's wearing a swimming cossie. There's more at stake here than the prizes on the wall, isn't there?
Why is Adam being sexist about Deana? Girls can stand up just as well as men can. We got feet and legs too, don't we?
No wonder Becky's so fat if that's what she orders for takeaway. Fuck I'm really hungry and there's nothing to eat in my house. I just ate a bag of gummy bears, and I've got a two packs of micro chips - it's hardly a nutritious diet, is it?
Looks like Becky's imaginary food order worked. Someone's going to crack over the Chinese. I hate Chinese, so wouldn't be bothered. I wouldn't even want to smell it.
Is it dangerous not to go wee-wee for 6 hours? I think Luke has twigged it's for immunity.
Good on Deana for giving the boys a run for her money. Luke A: it's a shitty song anyway.' as they try and temp them off the boxes with some turkey-shit pop music.
Endurance tasks are good because they show who's got fighting spirit, who's got determination and who wants it the most. Where did Luke get his poncho from?
Deana has never looked cuter than in that onesie, having a laugh on that box. She just seems joyous and buoyant, like she's living again.
Scott's got back-envy. He's got a fragile back. I'm not a predator - speak for yourself.
12 hours, man! That's impressive. How have they all changed clothes?! I can think of something Luke S is going to lose: BIG BROTHER.
Conor: 'where's the pride in standing on a box for 12 hours?' It's called determination, you prat. It's called focus. It's called WINNING.
LOL Luke S jumped off because he was hungry. Tired, more like. Props to Luke A, so determined to beat Luke S that he got off a second later. Shame on Deana for quitting! She put on a good show though. Good on you, girl.
Adam should have gone for the £1000 - isn't that more than the TV's worth?
Oh, they did save them some food. Good. Liked Adam's 'much respect', too. Actually a feel-good episode for once. SHOCKER. I hope Adam gets immunity this week. He deserves it.
Scott, Sara and Ashleigh are discussing the economic crisis. Ashleigh doesn't like kids popping out babies as it 'takes her taxes'. What job does she do, again? I doubt if she could operate an electronic toothbrush. Sara's having another attention-seek cry. I get the feeling this girl cries at everything; from Hollyoaks to a picture of a cute puppy.
Ashleigh doesn't care about getting boos. She doesn't care, right? She don't give two flying fucks. Conor: 'I've been saved four times.' Yes, by your extended family, I presume, unless they're letting rapists vote from prison now.
Loving Adam getting to choose the prizes for the competition; especially giving Ashleigh a toilet brush. I love endurance tasks! Giving Conor the spa day was one in the eye too; enjoy your massage, prick.
These endurance tasks are all about ego, or about whether you need a wee or not. I have quite a weak bladder so I could probably only last three hours (about as long as I last at a gig - I have a strict 'no drink, get near the front' policy).
Who's to come off first? My £ is on Becky. Why is Sara doing it in her bikini? She'll be cold later.
Luke was being supportive to Ashleigh; telling her to get off the box. What a prick. Are they arguing as a tactic to annoy the others? Ah, I win my bet. Becky toppled off. All the weak-willed ones quit first.
LOL to Adam trying to psych Conor out. Conor is on the hop. Adam's got him in one spot and he's tearing a strip off him; I love it! Where's Luke A's spine gone? Why has he turned his back on the conversation?
Adam: 'you have no compassion, care.' Conor had no response to that. Wise words from Adam there.
Oh come on, Ashleigh, no one buying your faux DR apology. If you know you're a decent person, why the boos even bother you? I'd laugh at the boos. I know I rub people up the wrong way; when people slag me off on my blog I think it's funny. Don't you understand yourself at all? You're not getting booed for the way you treat Luke S, you're getting booed because you're vile inside and out, and the only thing that ever comes out of your mouth is bile or idiocy.
Do they know Adam picked the prizes? They don't, do they? Adam looks like he's wearing a swimming cossie. There's more at stake here than the prizes on the wall, isn't there?
Why is Adam being sexist about Deana? Girls can stand up just as well as men can. We got feet and legs too, don't we?
No wonder Becky's so fat if that's what she orders for takeaway. Fuck I'm really hungry and there's nothing to eat in my house. I just ate a bag of gummy bears, and I've got a two packs of micro chips - it's hardly a nutritious diet, is it?
Looks like Becky's imaginary food order worked. Someone's going to crack over the Chinese. I hate Chinese, so wouldn't be bothered. I wouldn't even want to smell it.
Is it dangerous not to go wee-wee for 6 hours? I think Luke has twigged it's for immunity.
Good on Deana for giving the boys a run for her money. Luke A: it's a shitty song anyway.' as they try and temp them off the boxes with some turkey-shit pop music.
Endurance tasks are good because they show who's got fighting spirit, who's got determination and who wants it the most. Where did Luke get his poncho from?
Deana has never looked cuter than in that onesie, having a laugh on that box. She just seems joyous and buoyant, like she's living again.
Scott's got back-envy. He's got a fragile back. I'm not a predator - speak for yourself.
12 hours, man! That's impressive. How have they all changed clothes?! I can think of something Luke S is going to lose: BIG BROTHER.
Conor: 'where's the pride in standing on a box for 12 hours?' It's called determination, you prat. It's called focus. It's called WINNING.
LOL Luke S jumped off because he was hungry. Tired, more like. Props to Luke A, so determined to beat Luke S that he got off a second later. Shame on Deana for quitting! She put on a good show though. Good on you, girl.
Adam should have gone for the £1000 - isn't that more than the TV's worth?
Oh, they did save them some food. Good. Liked Adam's 'much respect', too. Actually a feel-good episode for once. SHOCKER. I hope Adam gets immunity this week. He deserves it.
Saturday, 28 July 2012
Big Brother 13: I beat Bono in an arm wrestle
Well, we learnt two things after the main show last night. Caroline is actually unstable - her performance on BOTS was quite disturbing and I suggest she seeks help. And Sara is an annoying droning idiot, as suspected, but confirmed on the evil feed. Deana replied to her diatribe of complete nonsense with utter class. I also enjoyed seeing Adam and Luke just joshing around and getting scared of a moth; it was just very sweet and natural whilst the others were all just stirring their cauldrons of cack. It just underlined that they are both decent blokes and I'm so glad they've got each other in there.
I'm so looking forward to not having to look at Caroline looking like she's got dressed out of the lost property box at school anymore.
Do Ashleigh, Luke, Conor and Becky ever have ANYTHING nice to say about anyone? I pity them; thick as pig shit and rotten to the core.
Scott is floating from side to side quite well, like Sara, at the moment. I hope he makes it to the final.
Conor must be the oldest looking 25-year-old on the planet. This task seems quite funny though. His river dance and Bono lies were actually quite amusing and quite creative. That was the cleverest thing he's done in the whole house.Conor is moaning cos Luke A and Adam haven't wished him happy birthday. Boo woo.
Ashleigh: 'Am I naturally good looking?' Err... Conor on beauty queen Deana: 'Deana's disgusting.' 'Sara's not disgusting.' There's faint praise. May I suggest a trip to Specsavers?
Sara slagging off Caroline for looking like a dog's dinner. Sweet. Sara's mad because Deana paid Caroline a compliment. What the fuck is up Sara's arse? Why is she always trying to catch Deana out? BFF's I don't think. Sara's really gone down in my estimation and she barely went up in it once, anyway. Fake, flip-flopper, boring, stupid. Get to fuck.
Conor plus football = a maelstrom of misogyny.
Luke A's face when the soldiers got saved was lovely. Pure joy. What has Luke S come as, he looks like he's off boating.
Seeing Luke S sweating was very rewarding. He looks like he's been through the wars and back. I'm surprised that the people who voted to save Ashleigh can even operate a phone.
Becky stop running your mouth. You can't work out why Caroline's gone? Div.
I'm glad they kept Luke's moth moment in the highlights, it was cute.
Ashleigh biting her nails - she looks like she's under pressure. But she 'couldn't give two flying fucks.' Never mind, then.
Scott is reassessing his game plan. Be interesting to see who he nominates this week.
I hate Becky in a particularly unique way because of just how wrong she is about everything.
Is Sara cracking onto Luke A? So the cut out that whole bit where she was berating Sara on the live feed for half an hour. EDITINGZ. Groo.
I'm so looking forward to not having to look at Caroline looking like she's got dressed out of the lost property box at school anymore.
Do Ashleigh, Luke, Conor and Becky ever have ANYTHING nice to say about anyone? I pity them; thick as pig shit and rotten to the core.
Scott is floating from side to side quite well, like Sara, at the moment. I hope he makes it to the final.
Conor must be the oldest looking 25-year-old on the planet. This task seems quite funny though. His river dance and Bono lies were actually quite amusing and quite creative. That was the cleverest thing he's done in the whole house.Conor is moaning cos Luke A and Adam haven't wished him happy birthday. Boo woo.
Ashleigh: 'Am I naturally good looking?' Err... Conor on beauty queen Deana: 'Deana's disgusting.' 'Sara's not disgusting.' There's faint praise. May I suggest a trip to Specsavers?
Sara slagging off Caroline for looking like a dog's dinner. Sweet. Sara's mad because Deana paid Caroline a compliment. What the fuck is up Sara's arse? Why is she always trying to catch Deana out? BFF's I don't think. Sara's really gone down in my estimation and she barely went up in it once, anyway. Fake, flip-flopper, boring, stupid. Get to fuck.
Conor plus football = a maelstrom of misogyny.
Luke A's face when the soldiers got saved was lovely. Pure joy. What has Luke S come as, he looks like he's off boating.
Seeing Luke S sweating was very rewarding. He looks like he's been through the wars and back. I'm surprised that the people who voted to save Ashleigh can even operate a phone.
Becky stop running your mouth. You can't work out why Caroline's gone? Div.
I'm glad they kept Luke's moth moment in the highlights, it was cute.
Ashleigh biting her nails - she looks like she's under pressure. But she 'couldn't give two flying fucks.' Never mind, then.
Scott is reassessing his game plan. Be interesting to see who he nominates this week.
I hate Becky in a particularly unique way because of just how wrong she is about everything.
Is Sara cracking onto Luke A? So the cut out that whole bit where she was berating Sara on the live feed for half an hour. EDITINGZ. Groo.
Friday, 27 July 2012
Big Brother 13: Tobler-gone
Forget that fake alien invasion on BBC1, the 'party' is right here on ITV. Caroline doing her hair! That ship has long sailed. Can you think of one person in Britain with worse hair than Caroline? She even makes Conor's hair look civilised.
I can't BELIEVE Caroline is doing a Harry. If you're going to do a master prank, invent your own. And don't inflame the smokers. Do not upset smokers. They will kill you. Ask Nadia.
Caroline: see you later. 'Why would someone spend money on garlic?' Caroline, it's one thing ordering 50 bars of chocolate, but Fruit and Nut? No one can even eat that! It's like ordering chocolate with grit in it. I used to like that advert with the singing chocolate bar in, though. Sexy. Put a pair of eyelashes on a chocolate bar and it instantly becomes fuckable... right?
She should have ordered Winalot instead. They're all going to be high off sugar at least. She must be pretty sure she's going. She didn't even get a 'did you say 500 Nutellas...' A PALE IMITATION. The squeakquel to Harry's Alvin.
How come Sara is the only one getting a cheer? She's floated her way to this week! It's the first time she's even opened her mouth. Is it a double eviction? I can't work it out.
I just turned over to the Olympics 'thing'. Pyramids everywhere! Illuminati times. Where's Begbie? Is this Abraham Lincoln Vampire Killer? It's like Mary Poppins or something. Are people paying to watch this crud? Are we having to go through the history of the entire UK? ZZZ. This is worse than Cirque du Soleil and that's one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life.
She got some good chocs there, Milkybar, Aero. You know she's just trying to make Luke A and Adam kick off, don't you? You can tell Caroline's never lived in a violent household. I'd be shitting myself.
Why is Luke S defending Caroline?! Why does Conor think it's funny, doesn't he like food?
Caroline: 'I don't think we have enough Whole Nut.' Whole Nut is worse than Fruit Nut. Whole Nut is unforgivable. I'd chuck that chocolate in the pool, or melt it and cover her clothes with it.
Nut-hell-urgh. Adam, don't rise to it! Don't let her beat you. 'Absolutely fucking pathetic.' Ah, memories of Marcus. I wouldn't do that to smokers. Smokers be crazy. Caroline is achieving her objective because she's making Luke A and Adam lose it. Wow, Adam is REALLY upset. I think he's going to rip her head off.
Here we go! Caroline does look fat. Must be the chocolate. Conor is twitching. The soldiers are safe. All the goodies safe. OMG, Caroline is so annoying. I hope someone throws a brick at her when she comes out. All the baddies got booed. The writing is now on the wall. Luke S and Conor must be shitting it. Like A: 'I might have some chocolate.' Nice. Diabet-heave.
Sara has not had to fight, so she doesn't deserve to win, IMO. It's too late to float through and then start speaking up now. They're singing God Save the Queen on BBC1 now. Quick, kick Sara out, she's missing it. I've seen more astroturf in the Big Brother garden. The Queen looks THRILLED. Fucking THRILLED. What a LOVELY WOMAN. She looked like she'd just stepped in some dogshit. What time is the alien invasion on? This is like all the worst bits of Eurovision. I'm glad I'm only watching 3 minutes of this at a time.
So it's not a double eviction, they're just dragging this shit out (we're back to Big Brother, not that other crap). Mad-am. Adam, keep cool, or you're going to get a warning. It's not gangland times anymore. Why has no one slagged Caroline off for being a copycat, too? Caroline is so up for eviction next week if she doesn't go out tonight.
'It's a joke.' Is it just mint banter? It's not a joke, you're just trying to bug everyone. Don't they need some multivitamins or something? What would Vinnie Jones make of this? I don't think he'd be happy.
She didn't even get any CRISPS. I could live on crisps for a week. I DO live on crisps for a week. What, BB is giving them tobacco?! Ugh, Caroline bought Milka, too. I don't like Milka. She hasn't even got good taste in chocolate. Where's the chocolate orange?
Fag gate! I think Adam and Luke A have a point about the fags, but they don't own the fags. Is Luke A enjoying that fag? Ratty's getting annoyed. Stub her out.Ashleigh: 'just you wait.' Luke A: 'what you going to do, get Luke S?' LOL. Adam knows prison ways. Fags are like currency in there.
OMG Ashleigh is safe. How?! And Conor! Ugh! It's got to be Caroline going. It can't be Luke S going, can it? But then who would vote to save him? Caroline is doing some serious controller's leg there. Luke S looks properly gutted. Apparently it's in 'no particular order' so interesting they saved the outsiders first, perhaps the producers are trying to redress the balance somehow. I can't believe they're still trying to rinse money out of this thing! Save Caroline! Or don't. I'm not sure?! It should have been Conor or Ashleigh, Luke S and Caroline provide more exitainmentz. Why don't they leave Conor in the bottom 2 sweating? Luke S is unraveling. He looks sooooo upset.
I just turned BBC1 on and Mr Bean is on. Are we that hard up?
I think the outsiders have the numbers now Sara's jumped ship. But don't forget what Sara did! I won't forgive her for her Benedict hate and the Queen love.
As usual Conor's got a stooge to do his dirty work for him, just like he did with Arron with chocolate gate. So did they give Ashleigh a fag in the end, or what? I think Caroline might be the ugliest thing on the planet, inside and out. Adam is sharing the tobacco. Cos he's been told to. Rizla-kicks.
I thought Scott had a pair of hair straighteners in the bath with him then. No such luck. Conor just jumped in. It's not as good as Jedward bathtimes, is it?
Deana is playing it quite cool at the moment. Luke A and Adam are crumbling right now and she's keeping her head down.
Luke S was so sure Ashleigh would leave before him, it would be worth seeing him leave.
Is Adam about to do an armed robbery? What's with the stocking? May I recommend an assault? I hate all this 'being myself' talk. Zzzz.
Caroline: 'people are very spoilt.' LOLZ. You have got to laugh. You really have.
BBC1 check: John Lydon. Is the Queen smiling at that bit? Are we having an acid house bit now? Not even some MDMA could cheer this horrorshow up. Some MK Ultra, maybe. Someone just said the words 'graphic equaliser.' Very modern. Are we celebrating rave? What about when they tried to shut them all down? LAGER LAGER LAGER. It's just all songs from fucking Trainspotting! I love Dizzee Rascal, he's gloriously joyful and stupid. I'd like to see him on Celeb BB.
OK back to BB. It's Crunchie time! You've missed a trick there, Brian.
Fucking hell, Caroline looks so dumpy. You've gone as Mars Bar as you can go. Be-twixed and between.
Adam and Luke A not even saying goodbye to her. Can't really blame them. Arron didn't say goodbye to anyone. This game really can turn on a Dime-bar. Shall I stop with the chocolate puns now?
Why has she come out with a hairbrush? Is it to rape someone with? Perhaps BB told her to confiscate it from Conor.
I'm surprised Ashleigh got more votes than Caroline. Who voted for her?! On BBC1, David Beckham is driving a pink glowing speedboat.
I hope Caroline gets booed throughout her interview like Lydia did. Caroline's gone hysterical - she's turned into Ashleigh. Off, off, off, off, off!
Caroline: 'I have no redeeming qualities.' Why not try nurturing some? Brian's getting pissed off with her. Do you think anyone's ever had sex with Caroline? I don't.
Caroline looks like hell. What are those shoes? She looks like Miss Haversham. Brian actually just told her she 'overstepped the mark.' Well done, Brian, you spoke sense for once.
Caro-whine. They are giving her quite a bad edit. She did do some lols. One or two. She's not being contrite. Wait til she's on BOTS. Then she'll be contrite, after she's been given a session with the tell-off man.
I've never seen Brian be this hard on anyone! Mind you, whatevs. There's one thing Caroline's not good at: brushing her hair and integrating into society. Oh, that's two.
Are people still wearing ponchos? Ponchos are worse than onesies. Ghastly.
Why is Caroline referring to herself in the third person? Why is Brian telling us who's popular? He's been WELL nasty to her. I mean, I can't blame him. But where's the rhyme or reason?
Hilarious bit of live feed at the end with Sara telling them about a bunch of people beating the shit out of a terrorist. 'It would only happen in Scotland.' And on that note, goodbye. I aint blogging that live feed. I'm going to watch Breaking Bad. Enjoy the Olymp-dicks.
I can't BELIEVE Caroline is doing a Harry. If you're going to do a master prank, invent your own. And don't inflame the smokers. Do not upset smokers. They will kill you. Ask Nadia.
Caroline: see you later. 'Why would someone spend money on garlic?' Caroline, it's one thing ordering 50 bars of chocolate, but Fruit and Nut? No one can even eat that! It's like ordering chocolate with grit in it. I used to like that advert with the singing chocolate bar in, though. Sexy. Put a pair of eyelashes on a chocolate bar and it instantly becomes fuckable... right?
She should have ordered Winalot instead. They're all going to be high off sugar at least. She must be pretty sure she's going. She didn't even get a 'did you say 500 Nutellas...' A PALE IMITATION. The squeakquel to Harry's Alvin.
How come Sara is the only one getting a cheer? She's floated her way to this week! It's the first time she's even opened her mouth. Is it a double eviction? I can't work it out.
I just turned over to the Olympics 'thing'. Pyramids everywhere! Illuminati times. Where's Begbie? Is this Abraham Lincoln Vampire Killer? It's like Mary Poppins or something. Are people paying to watch this crud? Are we having to go through the history of the entire UK? ZZZ. This is worse than Cirque du Soleil and that's one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life.
She got some good chocs there, Milkybar, Aero. You know she's just trying to make Luke A and Adam kick off, don't you? You can tell Caroline's never lived in a violent household. I'd be shitting myself.
Why is Luke S defending Caroline?! Why does Conor think it's funny, doesn't he like food?
Caroline: 'I don't think we have enough Whole Nut.' Whole Nut is worse than Fruit Nut. Whole Nut is unforgivable. I'd chuck that chocolate in the pool, or melt it and cover her clothes with it.
Nut-hell-urgh. Adam, don't rise to it! Don't let her beat you. 'Absolutely fucking pathetic.' Ah, memories of Marcus. I wouldn't do that to smokers. Smokers be crazy. Caroline is achieving her objective because she's making Luke A and Adam lose it. Wow, Adam is REALLY upset. I think he's going to rip her head off.
Here we go! Caroline does look fat. Must be the chocolate. Conor is twitching. The soldiers are safe. All the goodies safe. OMG, Caroline is so annoying. I hope someone throws a brick at her when she comes out. All the baddies got booed. The writing is now on the wall. Luke S and Conor must be shitting it. Like A: 'I might have some chocolate.' Nice. Diabet-heave.
Sara has not had to fight, so she doesn't deserve to win, IMO. It's too late to float through and then start speaking up now. They're singing God Save the Queen on BBC1 now. Quick, kick Sara out, she's missing it. I've seen more astroturf in the Big Brother garden. The Queen looks THRILLED. Fucking THRILLED. What a LOVELY WOMAN. She looked like she'd just stepped in some dogshit. What time is the alien invasion on? This is like all the worst bits of Eurovision. I'm glad I'm only watching 3 minutes of this at a time.
So it's not a double eviction, they're just dragging this shit out (we're back to Big Brother, not that other crap). Mad-am. Adam, keep cool, or you're going to get a warning. It's not gangland times anymore. Why has no one slagged Caroline off for being a copycat, too? Caroline is so up for eviction next week if she doesn't go out tonight.
'It's a joke.' Is it just mint banter? It's not a joke, you're just trying to bug everyone. Don't they need some multivitamins or something? What would Vinnie Jones make of this? I don't think he'd be happy.
She didn't even get any CRISPS. I could live on crisps for a week. I DO live on crisps for a week. What, BB is giving them tobacco?! Ugh, Caroline bought Milka, too. I don't like Milka. She hasn't even got good taste in chocolate. Where's the chocolate orange?
Fag gate! I think Adam and Luke A have a point about the fags, but they don't own the fags. Is Luke A enjoying that fag? Ratty's getting annoyed. Stub her out.Ashleigh: 'just you wait.' Luke A: 'what you going to do, get Luke S?' LOL. Adam knows prison ways. Fags are like currency in there.
OMG Ashleigh is safe. How?! And Conor! Ugh! It's got to be Caroline going. It can't be Luke S going, can it? But then who would vote to save him? Caroline is doing some serious controller's leg there. Luke S looks properly gutted. Apparently it's in 'no particular order' so interesting they saved the outsiders first, perhaps the producers are trying to redress the balance somehow. I can't believe they're still trying to rinse money out of this thing! Save Caroline! Or don't. I'm not sure?! It should have been Conor or Ashleigh, Luke S and Caroline provide more exitainmentz. Why don't they leave Conor in the bottom 2 sweating? Luke S is unraveling. He looks sooooo upset.
I just turned BBC1 on and Mr Bean is on. Are we that hard up?
I think the outsiders have the numbers now Sara's jumped ship. But don't forget what Sara did! I won't forgive her for her Benedict hate and the Queen love.
As usual Conor's got a stooge to do his dirty work for him, just like he did with Arron with chocolate gate. So did they give Ashleigh a fag in the end, or what? I think Caroline might be the ugliest thing on the planet, inside and out. Adam is sharing the tobacco. Cos he's been told to. Rizla-kicks.
I thought Scott had a pair of hair straighteners in the bath with him then. No such luck. Conor just jumped in. It's not as good as Jedward bathtimes, is it?
Deana is playing it quite cool at the moment. Luke A and Adam are crumbling right now and she's keeping her head down.
Luke S was so sure Ashleigh would leave before him, it would be worth seeing him leave.
Is Adam about to do an armed robbery? What's with the stocking? May I recommend an assault? I hate all this 'being myself' talk. Zzzz.
Caroline: 'people are very spoilt.' LOLZ. You have got to laugh. You really have.
BBC1 check: John Lydon. Is the Queen smiling at that bit? Are we having an acid house bit now? Not even some MDMA could cheer this horrorshow up. Some MK Ultra, maybe. Someone just said the words 'graphic equaliser.' Very modern. Are we celebrating rave? What about when they tried to shut them all down? LAGER LAGER LAGER. It's just all songs from fucking Trainspotting! I love Dizzee Rascal, he's gloriously joyful and stupid. I'd like to see him on Celeb BB.
OK back to BB. It's Crunchie time! You've missed a trick there, Brian.
Fucking hell, Caroline looks so dumpy. You've gone as Mars Bar as you can go. Be-twixed and between.
Adam and Luke A not even saying goodbye to her. Can't really blame them. Arron didn't say goodbye to anyone. This game really can turn on a Dime-bar. Shall I stop with the chocolate puns now?
Why has she come out with a hairbrush? Is it to rape someone with? Perhaps BB told her to confiscate it from Conor.
I'm surprised Ashleigh got more votes than Caroline. Who voted for her?! On BBC1, David Beckham is driving a pink glowing speedboat.
I hope Caroline gets booed throughout her interview like Lydia did. Caroline's gone hysterical - she's turned into Ashleigh. Off, off, off, off, off!
Caroline: 'I have no redeeming qualities.' Why not try nurturing some? Brian's getting pissed off with her. Do you think anyone's ever had sex with Caroline? I don't.
Caroline looks like hell. What are those shoes? She looks like Miss Haversham. Brian actually just told her she 'overstepped the mark.' Well done, Brian, you spoke sense for once.
Caro-whine. They are giving her quite a bad edit. She did do some lols. One or two. She's not being contrite. Wait til she's on BOTS. Then she'll be contrite, after she's been given a session with the tell-off man.
I've never seen Brian be this hard on anyone! Mind you, whatevs. There's one thing Caroline's not good at: brushing her hair and integrating into society. Oh, that's two.
Are people still wearing ponchos? Ponchos are worse than onesies. Ghastly.
Why is Caroline referring to herself in the third person? Why is Brian telling us who's popular? He's been WELL nasty to her. I mean, I can't blame him. But where's the rhyme or reason?
Hilarious bit of live feed at the end with Sara telling them about a bunch of people beating the shit out of a terrorist. 'It would only happen in Scotland.' And on that note, goodbye. I aint blogging that live feed. I'm going to watch Breaking Bad. Enjoy the Olymp-dicks.
Thursday, 26 July 2012
Big Brother 13: I forgot about Arron
Adam's naked arse! Happy new year. That's literally all I have to say about the first quarter.
The Loch Ness monster is not a snake. It's not even a hand puppet. How can Scott deny something Sara's seen with her own eyes? I've been to Egypt. But the less said about that the better.
Sara's suddenly flipped. Caroline is still in her McDonalds/pyramid reverie. They're both as stupid as each other. OMG Caroline is annoying me SO MUCH. Someone. help. me.
I love the fact that probably the only book Luke S has ever read is 'The Game' - a book about how to trick girls into fancying you. His idol is probably Mystery and his furry hats. He got a pretty slow handclap after his speech.
To be fair, Scott got an easier subject to debate, so the task is a bit unfair. Although Scott isn't really 'himself', as such, is he?
I want to see Ashleigh do a debate. Or just string a sentence together. I think I hate everyone today, even Adam and Luke S. I think I like Sara sometimes. Then I come to my senses.
This office task is like a cut-price BBUSA task. Except BBUSA is good. As usual, I have no idea what's going on. I'm not sure if it's not my fault for not paying attention, or the producers for not explaining well.
Luke S summed up purely by a drawing of a cock and balls. Nuff said. So Deana was cheating, but only to pass the task for Sara. This task is stupid. It's like Drawsome for mutants.
Scott: 'I forgot about Arron.' So did I, thank God.
Adam is soooooo touchy lately. Luke S: 'Fucking women.' Charming. Deana did it to win the task for you, Adam. Get a grip. Exactly; 'use your brains.' They are so dumb. I hope they're going to say sorry to Deana. Not exactly allies are they? More like unfriendly fire.
What are Becky and Sara arguing about? Should I care? Neither of us have a clue.
How many times did you rewind Caroline smacking herself in the face with a bottle of shampoo? Twice for me. Fucking hell, it's not like she stood on a plug or something; a serious injury. If I did that, my boyfriend would just laugh at me. Is she blind? Quick, call an ambulance. Get her out the house. Take her to A&E. Just to make sure. Ashleigh: 'that'll teach her.' Don't go into nursing, will you?
What is WRONG with Caroline? I think there's actually something mentally wrong with her. Yeah, evict her with a mash-up face *insert own joke here*. Black eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyed.
Sara: 'why the fuck would I want to speak to any of my housemates?' Fair point. This is one of the worst episodes I've seen this year. My boyfriend just pointed out Sara is trying to disappear down her own top. There's a metaphor here somewhere.
So will you be watching the Olympics opening ceremony tomorrow? If so, watch out for the fake alien invasion/ terrorist attack. I'll be watching some dimwit being chucked out of a house on Big Brother. Mind you, it beats watching Phil Daniels and Fab Macca, or whoever's been roped into this latest spectacle of shame. Ring pieces.
The Loch Ness monster is not a snake. It's not even a hand puppet. How can Scott deny something Sara's seen with her own eyes? I've been to Egypt. But the less said about that the better.
Sara's suddenly flipped. Caroline is still in her McDonalds/pyramid reverie. They're both as stupid as each other. OMG Caroline is annoying me SO MUCH. Someone. help. me.
I love the fact that probably the only book Luke S has ever read is 'The Game' - a book about how to trick girls into fancying you. His idol is probably Mystery and his furry hats. He got a pretty slow handclap after his speech.
To be fair, Scott got an easier subject to debate, so the task is a bit unfair. Although Scott isn't really 'himself', as such, is he?
I want to see Ashleigh do a debate. Or just string a sentence together. I think I hate everyone today, even Adam and Luke S. I think I like Sara sometimes. Then I come to my senses.
This office task is like a cut-price BBUSA task. Except BBUSA is good. As usual, I have no idea what's going on. I'm not sure if it's not my fault for not paying attention, or the producers for not explaining well.
Luke S summed up purely by a drawing of a cock and balls. Nuff said. So Deana was cheating, but only to pass the task for Sara. This task is stupid. It's like Drawsome for mutants.
Scott: 'I forgot about Arron.' So did I, thank God.
Adam is soooooo touchy lately. Luke S: 'Fucking women.' Charming. Deana did it to win the task for you, Adam. Get a grip. Exactly; 'use your brains.' They are so dumb. I hope they're going to say sorry to Deana. Not exactly allies are they? More like unfriendly fire.
What are Becky and Sara arguing about? Should I care? Neither of us have a clue.
How many times did you rewind Caroline smacking herself in the face with a bottle of shampoo? Twice for me. Fucking hell, it's not like she stood on a plug or something; a serious injury. If I did that, my boyfriend would just laugh at me. Is she blind? Quick, call an ambulance. Get her out the house. Take her to A&E. Just to make sure. Ashleigh: 'that'll teach her.' Don't go into nursing, will you?
What is WRONG with Caroline? I think there's actually something mentally wrong with her. Yeah, evict her with a mash-up face *insert own joke here*. Black eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyed.
Sara: 'why the fuck would I want to speak to any of my housemates?' Fair point. This is one of the worst episodes I've seen this year. My boyfriend just pointed out Sara is trying to disappear down her own top. There's a metaphor here somewhere.
So will you be watching the Olympics opening ceremony tomorrow? If so, watch out for the fake alien invasion/ terrorist attack. I'll be watching some dimwit being chucked out of a house on Big Brother. Mind you, it beats watching Phil Daniels and Fab Macca, or whoever's been roped into this latest spectacle of shame. Ring pieces.
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Big Brother 13: Onion argy-bargy
Not another bloody party! They have more parties than Lindsey Lohan. I like it when Americans use the word 'partying' when they mean taking drugs. I've done so much partying, I'm suffering from exhaustion = I'm a drug addict and I need a lie down.
Well they've got the most childish housemates sewn up. I once ordered someone a bouncy castle as a prank when I was about 15 after they ordered me cabs and pizzas for an entire night. I think I won that one. The person's mum rang up and my dad gave me a tell-off, but it was quite half-hearted. Booked that bouncy castle through the Yellow Pages, too; old skool.
First R-Pattz and K-Stew, now Luke and Ashleigh to break up? My faith in love has been shaken!
The boys are so sad listening in on that conversation; they'd diss the girls for doing the same. Him and her both basically said the same thing about each other; they can't stand the sound of each other's voices. True love. Like Conor laughing! What a supportive friend. His face was a picture.
I think 'humiliated' is the word Ashleigh is looking for, not annihilated. That enormous bed looks ace. Luke can't exactly complain, he said much the same about her behind her back. Careful there on that high horse, Luke S, you're on shaky ground. He hates anything that dents his ego. I've seen some showmances in my time, but this one is really built on the sand.
This task is sexist. What are they going to do next; try on shoes? Luke A must be pleased he made the transition, this is pathetic.
Luke S is really PISSED off. What's his prob, she only said he had an annoying voice and he stinks? LOL. Onion boy! Chop, chop, it's all in the mind etc. Funions! (™Jesse off Breaking Bad)
Ashleigh: 'you make me out to look like a fucking arsehole.' She's not a very nice person, is she? She's just a shallow bitch. She's not got a nice word to say about anyone. How can anyone LIKE Conor's hair? Shaven armpits on men? Oh, please. Nair thanks.
Does Luke S REALLY like her? I think HE likes her more than she likes him! But I still don't think that means much. Relationship? Relationshit, more like. Luke S: 'I'll be happy one day.' When?
Ashleigh: 'Blind people can only see in the dark. They can feel objects better than we can feel it in the dark.' This might be the most stupid thing she's said yet.
Why is Caroline guffawing at the word 'transistioning'? What does Caroline regret the most? Is it that hairdo?
Wow, Deana's great, great, great grandad is 110. 'What does he look like?' Deana: 'He can still walk and everything but he passed away last month.' What?! I also hear her great, great, great granddaughter is pretty fine.
Caroline: 'Let's make a toast to the happy couple... onions.' LOL.
Luke A shouldn't take offense at Caroline laughing; she just has no emotional intelligence. She literally is the type who'd 'laugh at a funeral' like in that rubbish song from the 90s.
Is Luke S trying to teach Ashleigh etiquette? I think that ship has sailed. Licking your plate is fucking disgusting and I eat like Kerry Katona. I like Deana's earrings. Not so much Adam dribbling.
Ratleigh's ears look particularly big when she scrapes her hair back. I think they hate each other. Perhaps they'll have a hate fuck later, with Caroline looking on, giggling or scowling.
If Conor's a raver you think he'd be a bit more loved up. They're not so much dancing as walking round in a circle. Should have played Basshunter instead.
Adam copped a good feel of Ashleigh's sweaty boob area, didn't he? Ha, I'm surprised Luke did sleep with her in the end. He IS into her a bit! I have no idea why. She must smell like money.
Well they've got the most childish housemates sewn up. I once ordered someone a bouncy castle as a prank when I was about 15 after they ordered me cabs and pizzas for an entire night. I think I won that one. The person's mum rang up and my dad gave me a tell-off, but it was quite half-hearted. Booked that bouncy castle through the Yellow Pages, too; old skool.
First R-Pattz and K-Stew, now Luke and Ashleigh to break up? My faith in love has been shaken!
The boys are so sad listening in on that conversation; they'd diss the girls for doing the same. Him and her both basically said the same thing about each other; they can't stand the sound of each other's voices. True love. Like Conor laughing! What a supportive friend. His face was a picture.
I think 'humiliated' is the word Ashleigh is looking for, not annihilated. That enormous bed looks ace. Luke can't exactly complain, he said much the same about her behind her back. Careful there on that high horse, Luke S, you're on shaky ground. He hates anything that dents his ego. I've seen some showmances in my time, but this one is really built on the sand.
This task is sexist. What are they going to do next; try on shoes? Luke A must be pleased he made the transition, this is pathetic.
Luke S is really PISSED off. What's his prob, she only said he had an annoying voice and he stinks? LOL. Onion boy! Chop, chop, it's all in the mind etc. Funions! (™Jesse off Breaking Bad)
Ashleigh: 'you make me out to look like a fucking arsehole.' She's not a very nice person, is she? She's just a shallow bitch. She's not got a nice word to say about anyone. How can anyone LIKE Conor's hair? Shaven armpits on men? Oh, please. Nair thanks.
Does Luke S REALLY like her? I think HE likes her more than she likes him! But I still don't think that means much. Relationship? Relationshit, more like. Luke S: 'I'll be happy one day.' When?
Ashleigh: 'Blind people can only see in the dark. They can feel objects better than we can feel it in the dark.' This might be the most stupid thing she's said yet.
Why is Caroline guffawing at the word 'transistioning'? What does Caroline regret the most? Is it that hairdo?
Wow, Deana's great, great, great grandad is 110. 'What does he look like?' Deana: 'He can still walk and everything but he passed away last month.' What?! I also hear her great, great, great granddaughter is pretty fine.
Caroline: 'Let's make a toast to the happy couple... onions.' LOL.
Luke A shouldn't take offense at Caroline laughing; she just has no emotional intelligence. She literally is the type who'd 'laugh at a funeral' like in that rubbish song from the 90s.
Is Luke S trying to teach Ashleigh etiquette? I think that ship has sailed. Licking your plate is fucking disgusting and I eat like Kerry Katona. I like Deana's earrings. Not so much Adam dribbling.
Ratleigh's ears look particularly big when she scrapes her hair back. I think they hate each other. Perhaps they'll have a hate fuck later, with Caroline looking on, giggling or scowling.
If Conor's a raver you think he'd be a bit more loved up. They're not so much dancing as walking round in a circle. Should have played Basshunter instead.
Adam copped a good feel of Ashleigh's sweaty boob area, didn't he? Ha, I'm surprised Luke did sleep with her in the end. He IS into her a bit! I have no idea why. She must smell like money.
Tuesday, 24 July 2012
Big Brother 13: You've never seen a bigger bollock than Luke S
Isn't it great when people at work accidentally cc you into an email slagging you off? I LOVE that feeling. What a shitty fucking week I've had. So yay for the noms twist. AT LAST they listen. It's good for BB, too, because they make more money by putting more people up.
Why is Deana crying straightening Adam's hair? Is it because it looks so crap? Mind you, there's at least three worse hairstyles in the house; Luke S, Caroline and Conor: the Hitler brigade.
Caroline would rather 'live in a house with people she doesn't get along with than leave before them'. At least she admits her priorities. Even if they're warped.
I love it when we get a glimpse of Adam's argyle socks tattoo. Hilarious. What's the point in nominating Sara, though? She's pointless. I'm fairly sure she'll go this week, because who's her fanbase? Wills and Harry?
You've nominated Luke A, Becky, because he owned you. End of. What a dogshit reason for nominating Deana too. She 'moves too slowly'?! She's somehow burning off more calories than you.
Sara looks good in a bikini. That doesn't really make her a worthwhile housemate, does it? LOL she nominated Luke S. Good! What are these 'strange pants' she speaks of? I want to see them. Oooh, she changed her nomination from Adam to Ashleigh! Girl is waking up. Nicely done. There's one for the outsiders.
Conor - heartless and cruel? Surely not. Ashleigh nominating Luke A for being bitchy. What an idiot. Ashleigh nominating Deana because she's jealous of her body basically, now Lauren's gone. Who isn't this moron jealous of?
Yes, Luke A, Deana is playing a game; Big Brother. How dare Deana dance to music when they play it? What a stupid reason for nominating someone.
Caroline's nominations are so far off the mark, she just makes herself look like the shallow little prick she is. Who ISN'T Caroline annoyed by? Even her own mirror has cracked in protest at having to look at her face, doesn't she get it yet?
Ooh, Conor's nominating Sara, too. He must know she's hitched her apple wagon to Deana's star.
My brain switched off for a minute because I was thinking about Enter the Void and Triangle that I watched at the weekend, and then I see housemates putting elastic bands on a watermelon. I think I'd rather sit through Enter the Void again, even though it's an hour and a half too long. Lovely visuals though. Still not convinced to take DMT! That rabbit hole might not have a ladder back up. Anyway, I digress.
Did God step in to sort these nom noms out? Will God point his finger at Ashleigh or Luke S? Here's hoping. Sara: 'I didn't think you'd be up, Adam.' You almost nominated him, do you have amnesia?!
The outsiders DIDN'T vote tactically. It was just luck that BB fiddled with the noms. The insiders are shitting themselves now. Good. About time they had a spoonful of it. And I'm also glad Scott's safe.
Why is Adam being so testy? Stop having a strop, silly. You aint the only one up. Talking of testy, did you see Luke S flashing his balls on BOTS last night? Horrendous. What was he thinking? Oh here it is. That's actually obscene. Did he just say it was 'full of eggs'?! Him and Ashleigh couldn't operate a condom between them. I fear for the future of humanity. So Ashleigh doesn't care if Luke goes? By the time she met him in two weeks on the outside he'd probably have fucked about 25 girls. She doesn't give two flying fucks. Can she count to two?
Caroline is quite astute that Adam is liked outside, so why would she take him on? You have to respect her in a way, for blundering on regardless. OMG Caroline don't you DARE ape the AMAZING Harry with 500,000 Nutellas. You can NEVER live up to his banana legacy; never. Don't even try it.
Luke A's: 'I hope they get some of these evil tossers out' was definitely second candidate for my title. Luke is getting a bit cocky, but he's been pushed to the limit. Adam's 'performance' - uh-oh, that's a dodgy word to use.
LOL to 'do you think she'll go?' 'Hopefully.' about Caroline. I think Caroline has more fans than they think. It will be Sara or Ashleigh out that door. I'll be voting to save the 'soldiers'. I don't love them, but they've put up a good fight. Let's not let them fall at the final hurdle.
Why is Deana crying straightening Adam's hair? Is it because it looks so crap? Mind you, there's at least three worse hairstyles in the house; Luke S, Caroline and Conor: the Hitler brigade.
Caroline would rather 'live in a house with people she doesn't get along with than leave before them'. At least she admits her priorities. Even if they're warped.
I love it when we get a glimpse of Adam's argyle socks tattoo. Hilarious. What's the point in nominating Sara, though? She's pointless. I'm fairly sure she'll go this week, because who's her fanbase? Wills and Harry?
You've nominated Luke A, Becky, because he owned you. End of. What a dogshit reason for nominating Deana too. She 'moves too slowly'?! She's somehow burning off more calories than you.
Sara looks good in a bikini. That doesn't really make her a worthwhile housemate, does it? LOL she nominated Luke S. Good! What are these 'strange pants' she speaks of? I want to see them. Oooh, she changed her nomination from Adam to Ashleigh! Girl is waking up. Nicely done. There's one for the outsiders.
Conor - heartless and cruel? Surely not. Ashleigh nominating Luke A for being bitchy. What an idiot. Ashleigh nominating Deana because she's jealous of her body basically, now Lauren's gone. Who isn't this moron jealous of?
Yes, Luke A, Deana is playing a game; Big Brother. How dare Deana dance to music when they play it? What a stupid reason for nominating someone.
Caroline's nominations are so far off the mark, she just makes herself look like the shallow little prick she is. Who ISN'T Caroline annoyed by? Even her own mirror has cracked in protest at having to look at her face, doesn't she get it yet?
Ooh, Conor's nominating Sara, too. He must know she's hitched her apple wagon to Deana's star.
My brain switched off for a minute because I was thinking about Enter the Void and Triangle that I watched at the weekend, and then I see housemates putting elastic bands on a watermelon. I think I'd rather sit through Enter the Void again, even though it's an hour and a half too long. Lovely visuals though. Still not convinced to take DMT! That rabbit hole might not have a ladder back up. Anyway, I digress.
Did God step in to sort these nom noms out? Will God point his finger at Ashleigh or Luke S? Here's hoping. Sara: 'I didn't think you'd be up, Adam.' You almost nominated him, do you have amnesia?!
The outsiders DIDN'T vote tactically. It was just luck that BB fiddled with the noms. The insiders are shitting themselves now. Good. About time they had a spoonful of it. And I'm also glad Scott's safe.
Why is Adam being so testy? Stop having a strop, silly. You aint the only one up. Talking of testy, did you see Luke S flashing his balls on BOTS last night? Horrendous. What was he thinking? Oh here it is. That's actually obscene. Did he just say it was 'full of eggs'?! Him and Ashleigh couldn't operate a condom between them. I fear for the future of humanity. So Ashleigh doesn't care if Luke goes? By the time she met him in two weeks on the outside he'd probably have fucked about 25 girls. She doesn't give two flying fucks. Can she count to two?
Caroline is quite astute that Adam is liked outside, so why would she take him on? You have to respect her in a way, for blundering on regardless. OMG Caroline don't you DARE ape the AMAZING Harry with 500,000 Nutellas. You can NEVER live up to his banana legacy; never. Don't even try it.
Luke A's: 'I hope they get some of these evil tossers out' was definitely second candidate for my title. Luke is getting a bit cocky, but he's been pushed to the limit. Adam's 'performance' - uh-oh, that's a dodgy word to use.
LOL to 'do you think she'll go?' 'Hopefully.' about Caroline. I think Caroline has more fans than they think. It will be Sara or Ashleigh out that door. I'll be voting to save the 'soldiers'. I don't love them, but they've put up a good fight. Let's not let them fall at the final hurdle.
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