Big Brother 13: He's such a cheesy bastard

Sorry I didn't blog last night, but I've come crawling back for the penultimate one. I did a couple of quite funny tweets, too. TYPICAL.
Ooh, squirrel housemate. I'll crown him as winner over 40% of the house.
How are they going to pad out this show? Luke S's hair is too dark. He's too pale for it. Oh shut up scragbag, no one buys your Ashleigh ho-mance BS. 'What are you going to miss about Ashleigh?' His leg shook when he said 'everything'.
LOL to Deana not doing the dishes for 12 days. I bet Ashleigh didn't do many dishes in there. WOMEN SHOULD BE DOING DISHES, obviously. It's funny seeing Luke S being forced to speak to Deana.
Who is Nina Mishcov to tell people about fame? I barely recognise her and my boyfriend went 'she used to be on Through the Keyhole.' Is that the best celeb they could get in there? Did they blow the budget paying off that shaved ape?
Deana looks peed off with Nina. I like her dress today. She's looked really nice lately.
No one's looking up your skirt, Nina. You're less famous than Sandi Toksvig.
I don't think they're exactly going to have to worry about fending off crazed fans. Luke A loves the attention from the ladies, and he does like a flirt, but I don't find that creepy, it's probably because it's all just new to him.
Stop digging Luke A out about the BMI comment already! Dickheads. People said a zillion times worse and it was NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. Disgraceful double standards.
Nina has SO got an axe to grind with Deana, it's really hacking me off. Didn't BB learn from last time, the more they shit on a housemate, the more people vote for them? It's like Aaron all over again. Maybe they do it deliberately, I honestly don't know...
Is Sara wearing a comedy hat? She looks like Aunt Sally. I wish Nina Mishcov would FUCK OFF. She's really getting on my nerves. Deana looks like she wants to kick her in the face.
Good on Adam for not backing down about the Arron thing. Arron was a little prick who deserved everything he got.
Who the fuck is Nina to go in there telling them to watch their behaviour and showing them 'embarrassing' clips? Do you think they'd have shown Conor's little epilator hate rant if he'd still been in the house? WOULD THEY FUCK. Hypocrites.
Ooh.. do you think they've put Luke S and Deana to have dinner together to shitstir? Do you? Do you? Zzzzz.
Why DOES Luke S backcomb his hair like that? Imagine if a man you worked with came in with that barnet. He would be laughed out of the door.
Note BB pointing out Deana has a cook and a maid (ie. she's rich and doesn't deserve the money). SUBTLE. Well she deserves it more than that Aztec-print wearing, hitler-hairdoed, hateful, horrible CUNT CONOR who got NO ONE'S VOTE and NO ONE HAD A SAY IN THE MATTER (except Luke S, I suppose) so get your fucking priorities right, you transparent FUCKWITS. You make me sick, seriously. You let that sub-human walk out with half the cash, and you're trying to stop Deana from legitimately winning the money? You fuckers. *Danny Dyer voice* 'How can you sleep at night?'
Is Sara 4 realz? How could anyone's favourite song be Meatloaf's 'I would do anything for love (but I won't do scat)'? How do people know the words?! I would say at least it's a long song, but that's one song you don't want to go on for long. She's one of the most bizarre people on the planet, with the weirdest views, yet still, somehow, she's still uninteresting.
OMG Sara actually FANCIES Meatloaf?! That is unforgivable. When he's all SWEATY?! WTF. What about when he's got bitch tits in Fight Club? Luke S: 'What if you had to choose between the Queen and Meatloaf?' Sara: 'Oh the Queen, obviously.' Obviously?! There's nothing obvious about any of this. She talks the most nonsense ever.
Luke A, don't invoke the name of Caroline, it probably releases a curse on the house. Adam: still lolling at 'guys want to be me, girls want to be with me.' There is more mileage in that, admittedly. Cheesy bastard, hehe. Luke A and Adam's friendship proper makes me blub. You're so lucky in life when you make a friend like that. It's worth more than 50 grand, it really is.
It's weird they're having like the series round up tonight. Missing out a certain clip, though, like a rotten little heart beating under the floorboards, but we know. We know.
Oh, Benedict. It could have all been so different. I miss you. That ending was weird. It's not quite over.
It's a bit of a shame the final is on a Monday night, in my opinion. I want to get drunk and watch the final, and I haven't even got any money for a bottle of wine. Austerity times! Vote Adam: Deana's going to get loads of votes anyway. See you then!

Big Brother 13: Boo woo x 2

You decide? OK, can I evict Sara and Luke S? No? OK I've decided. I'm gonna vote to save Deana and Adam. I think calling it a semi-final is over-egging it a bit. Monday seems like a funny day to have the final on. And I get one days grace before CBB starts? Fucking hell, give me a break, why don't you? I want to do a blog about (Mike Judge's uh-huh-huh-huh) Beavis and Butthead.
Why has Adam woken up crying? That's not a good way to start the day. I like Deana's dress. I'm glad she apologised. I think she's just a bit of a control freak. I don't know what Adam REALLY makes of her, but I'd love to know. Funny that Deana dismisses Scott as a candidate to win, but she's actually right.
Scott's going to be like Elton John when he has a baby, basically. LOL to Deana and Adam digging Luke out again.
Brian is looking quite waxen tonight. We all know Scabby's going; it's just who she's carting out with her.
I wonder if I would be good at the limbo. I'm short so maybe that would help.
Luke S looked gayer than ever doing the limbo. I think his limbo face is like his sex face. Scott does seem quite bendy, no pun intended. Scott is getting a lot of AIRTIME. I wonder why? (Because producers want to get Deana out).
Having said that I think we have been spared a lot of the 'showmance', thank fuck.
Scott: 'Big Brother has been the womb and this could be the rebirth of me.' Was Caroline the placenta? Becky was definitely the afterbirth.
I can't tell who they're chanting to get out. Ashleigh's hair looks rank. Why is Deana getting booed?
Hold on, did Scott get less votes than Ashleigh? Fucking hell. That's rough. I think it must be the Luke S and Conor vote ringing up for Ashleigh. I like Scott's blue and green outfit and I'm glad he got a cheer. He kind of did the same as Tom did last year and he had a similar gameplan; wishy-washy. It looks like he's got a bruise on his face. What's up with the crowd, is it fancy dress?
Scott seems a bit quiet in his interview. It's a shame he left before Sara, Luke S and Ashleigh, though. But I don't feel emotionally invested in Scott. He never really let us in, and he picked his friends poorly. I think ultimately he was just shallow. He got a short interview. Still, at least he gets to do BOTS, I spose. No BOO WOO in his best bits! WTF. Folly. That was his finest second.
Yes, Ashleigh is out! The soldiers are safe, even if Deana was getting booed to fuck. Who cares, Aaron win last year and got booed all the way.
It all feels very rushed tonight! What's the hurry? That klaxon thing gets on my nerves. Let's hear the boos. Ashleigh seems fairly sensible in her interview.
Luke S DID choose the money over spending the rest of the time in the house, Brian.
Showmance or romance? Ho-mance. OMG are they really showing Ashleigh this task in her interview? It would have been better to do it in the house; much more dramatic. I can't believe they showed her that; it's quite hurtful. Well, it would be if she wasn't so stupid. As it is, she doesn't seem to give a shit.
I can't believe they didn't show the 'wipe up' in the best bits!
I'll be voting for Adam and Deana FTW. Can't wait to see Luke S leave first on Monday. Look at his moody little turtle face. He knows he's got no chance of winning. He's just basically got a three day wait for a cab. Should have listened to Madonna and pushed that button (quicker). 

Big Brother 13: The one and only nominator

I'm a bit drunk tonight as I went to some leaving drinks so what bearing that will have on my blog, who knows? I've got a headache and I feel misunderstood and a bit grumpy. This is my 1,200th blog though. Does that deserve a gong?
Toasted sandwich gatezzzzz. The soldiers are falling apart. I guess I'm going to have to pick a side.
Luke and Ashleigh filler: please, spare me. Fast forward. I laughed at Luke S's childish 'he's like a peacock, take away the pea' joke.
The nomination awards will shit-stir, but everyone is just as guilty as each other. They must all know that nominations could be seen at any point.
Luke S should dedicate his 'nominating Deana' award to his puppet master Conor. What is Ashleigh getting out of her pram about? Put a fucking sock in it, you thicko.
I like Deana's pink silky dress. Her acceptance speech was good. Don't forget the way they treated her! I won't.
It says a lot that Ashleigh and Scott have nominated the people who got evicted the most, as they have bad taste in nominations. They've fucked that house.
Scott looked mad about Sara nominating him. Hot under the collar. This whole show is filler. It's got more filler than a tramp gone nuts in Subway.
I don't think the two Luke's are really nemesises (nemisi?) They just don't click. The nommy's look quite good; on a par with the Pointless trophy.
So when they could finally talk about nominations, Adam said he'd never nominated Luke S and Deana got pissy. Er, they're HIS nominations, not yours. Plus you couldn't talk about nominations, so what was he to do?
This makes me want to save Adam, not Deana. It's not up to Deana who Adam nominates. I think she's really out of line there. Let's face it: Adam has never really liked Deana and Deana just wanted Luke S and Adam as bodies for her alliance.
Quite ironic that Luke is missing out on the dins cooked by the top chef and Deana's missing out on the Indian food. That seems exceptionally cruel.
Oh Deana, please leave Adam alone. Adam is right to nominate boring people. I'm going to vote to save Adam.
Luke S is so patronising! If you love Ashleigh (which you don't), accept her the way she is, warts and all. Don't try and educate her; she's beyond help. Oh my god. Do you think she likes it? At least Luke A, Adam and Deana got to have the leftovers.
Can't wait to see yappy go tomorrow, but just don't know who will go with her. I wish it could be Sara or Luke S. I'm worried it could be Adam. I was going to split my vote but I think I'm going to just give it to Adam. I think Deana will be safe, and Scott, whilst entertaining, doesn't deserve it. Too little too late.
Must nod. Ta-ta...