What's the opposite of 'absolutely fantastic'? Big Brother 2014. It was the series that almost killed my blog; and I blame Helen. No, I don't, I blame the production. Never has more of a mess been made of things, and never have viewers been more insulted. And we saw Conor walk out of there with a bag full of swag. And still that wasn't as much of an insult as this sham of a series. Quite something, isn't it?
This will be the last blog I do about Big Brother 2014, but I'll be back yapping for CBB next week and hoping it's more of a Lee Ryan taps-on affair than a Abz swan-apple yawnathon (no offence to Abz or his lovely swan apple).
If you've been listening to our podcast you'll be in the loop with my feelings on the season, but this week in particular it has felt like Big Brother is determined to edit Ashleigh in a bad light and Helen positively. Do they think we can't see through it? Ashleigh isn't MY winner, but she deserves it a damn sight more than raging nutcase alwaysintheright Helen. Helen has nor redeemed herself. You can't be one way for two months then another for ten minutes and fool people. You just can't.
Christopher was my winner for the past two weeks or so for being generally a sweet soul, but the constant interference even destroyed that for me last night, when Chris spinelessly saved pointless Pav over Chris. The fact ANYONE is still eating up that journey bullshit is CRIMINAL. Pav has barely been to the shops and back. Chris has been living in fear of Helen for two plus months, his only salvation in a packet of Golden Virginia. Let's get the 'journeys' into perspective, and then never say the word journey again.
This is a series so horrendously bad that Ash; a man who cheerfully said 'I'd hate to go out with a girl who's a slut', called a woman a 'maggot' to her face and said 'put some of the water back in the pool' (behind her back) when the same woman (Slugsworth, if you must know) was trying to enjoy herself, is now some sort of hero. Like some kind of potential winner, just because he says 'absolutely fantastic' in a funny voice (admittedly, it is genius). Meanwhile, dumbo Winston got Tamara foisted back on him, and Mark and his LIES spectacularly unravelled, leaving him to hang up his eyebrows on the back of the Diary Room door, a bit like Daley had to do last year with Hazel's salmon pink hoodie.
The series is a MESS. The only thing the shit-for-brains producers have stuck to is doggedly refusing to take Helen's pass of her, despite her temper tantrums, cruelness and general bullying (yeah I said it) and undoubtedly, viewers switching off in droves.
Anyway, tonight's show is just Ashleigh getting stitched up, and Chris cringing. Helen can't even explode with Chris there, they are too mismatched a pairing. It's no good having a secret room unless the people collude. It's not exactly Gina and Dexter, is it?
Helen's keeping her enormous gob shut for once - she's no fool, she's got her eyes on the prize (t.m. Pav's mum, but not quite) and she's not going to blow it now. Well, not until she had a can of whisky, anyway.
So now they're doing a task making Ashleigh and Pav insufferable. The old Dustin treatment, hey! They must think we were BORN YESTERDAY. Yet some people are, and will probably fall for it. Sigh.
I kind of feel sorry for Helen having no one to bitch with in that room. She can't call Ashleigh a cunt to Chris, so she just has to simmer to herself. Quite funny when you think about it. The long and short of this is Chris has got live feed, and not one other thing to do in that room, and even HE can't be bothered to watch it. Are Big Brother trying to make a point or what, lol. Don't worry, I won't start going on about outside contact.
Hmm, this is quite a boring episode, isn't it, I should have done last night. Watching people watching TV, it's like Gogglebox without the laughs, or Beavis and Butthead without the music videos. Last night had two fake evictions, Iris doing the zingbot voice and Ash as a psychologist. And for all the jokes on Twitter about Helen, that picture DID look like a dick that was split in half!
The fake interview section was quite boring, with Pav saying he wants to earn £10K a month and live in a mansion. I think Chris's questions were the problem. Is it a fact the egg came before the chicken? No it is not. He's like the Richard Dawkins of the chicken/egg conundrum. Chris is being a bit of a party pooper tonight.
Why is Helen crying in the Diary Room? Why isn't she going mad over Ashleigh? Why is Chris always trying to cuddle her? Why oh why oh why.
Now, let's see who looks GENUINELY happy when Chris and Helen return! Ash thinks it's fantastic, but not absolutely fantastic, which just isn't good enough. They all actually look quite happy. Chris is REALLY happy to see other people again! Not exactly fight night, is it?
Ash: 'I thought we'd got rid of them!' and 'what's happening, dragon?' to Helen, lol. Ash has become the king of the one liners. Ash is funnier than Chris, for reals. Shame he's a complete knob, also.
Oh, Helen's going down the sympathy route, rather than down 'put 'em on blast' route. She must think we have short memories, and you know what, she's right. Look how quickly that 'creepy Chris' edit took hold.
Is that Pav's actual necklace, or has he just kept his bling on from the task? Either way, weak gameplay. Never wear the crown, the HOH robe, or any other regalia. Especially no dictator uniforms.
I'm glad Christopher is feeling guilty for evicting Chris, so he should. You lost my vote, Christmas. As it stands now, Chris is my winner, but I don't really mind who wins out of Chris, Ashleigh or Christopher. If Chris wins, it's a victory for the viewers, as he said what we were thinking (yeah behind people's backs, and so would you, probably). If Christopher wins, it would be a slap in the face to Pauline, Toya and Mark, who made him feel small. If Ashleigh wins, it will drive Helen mad. And that's as good a reason as any. If by some weird reason Ash wins, I wouldn't even begrudge him it. I wouldn't even begrudge Helen as she's at least put the spade work in, in her own sick way. Pav though! That journey! No way, mate. Not on my watch.
Helen, no amount of bitterness towards Ashleigh can win it for you now. So just stop it. Someone on Twitter said to me tonight 'how come when Ashleigh bitches it's OK?' and the answer is, because Ashleigh has not terrorised the house for two months plus. If people think they're in any way similar, they're mad. Ashleigh is a normal girl, Helen has a screw loose. I like certain sides to Helen, but she's a loose cannon and needs a good couple of years of therapy. Ashleigh is perfectly sane and has been quite patient, if anything.
Helen is desperately jealous of Ashleigh, and Ashleigh has the effortless respect of the men in the house. Ash is Helen's 'best friend/sidekick' and he takes the mick out of her all the time. Plus his mum will ground him if he tries to hang out with Helen in the outside world.
Ash just did a toast that included not one but TWO (count them) 'fantastics'. Bit of a waste of wine, though.
So that's it from me! I'm off to Sweden for a wedding at 7am on Friday morning so I'll be avoiding spoilers (can't imagine the Big Brother winner is front page news in Sweden) and catching up when I get back on Sunday.
We WILL be doing a wrap up podcast, so do give us a listen if you like that sort of thing. I do it with my boyfriend James and he's funnier than me, which is annoying. And check out Big Brother US if you love Big Brother in general. It's great fun and we podcast that, too.
See you for Celebrity Big Brother on Monday and thanks for reading. I really appreciate the hardcore gang of us left clinging on, and the bitching on Twitter has been very enjoyable, funny and imaginative, unlike this series of Big Brother. You're all absolutely fantastic.
Showing posts with label ashleigh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ashleigh. Show all posts
Wednesday, 13 August 2014
Friday, 25 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: S.T.E.V.E.N.P.U.S.H.O.F.F
I haven't written a blog since I was called shallow and illiterate - too busy crying. Not really, I've been wondering how they're gonna fix Big Brother next. At least I predicted it in my last blog; we were enjoying the show too much; they had to ruin it again, by putting the favourite up. And the most scary part was, Steven could have been saved from the block with that stupid twist. That could have actually happened. Scary, isn't it?
Why has Zoe got a hunchback? Perhaps she's growing a tail. New housemates got shafted big time by the old housemates this week; they're not gameplanning, they're just boring. I actually feel a bit sorry for them because they're being ostracised for no reason. Helen's dressed like X Factor US era Cheryl Cole.
They are showing Ashleigh saying she doesn't think she's going! Mixers. It's another few quid in the pocket of Bruv, innit.
The old housemates patronising Pav is quite annoying. I wish Winston would get off his case.
I don't think Chris needs tasks that make him look more creepy. And I don't think Zoe gives many 'lob ons'. Mark is more assaulting Christopher than arousing him.
BBUK housemates are not cut out for endurance. Good to see them strategising already, though. Steven: 'I could stay here all night.' Just like his sex sessions. I see the gunge is back. They must have got a job lot off ebay. But the REAL task is... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Get who out? Sounds like Zoe. Yet she had the fewest votes, WTF. I don't get why Pav is getting booed.
Kimberly is Steve's friends and family now. Tragic. Are they chanting 'cheat' at her? I wish Steven's mum would fuck off. That friends and family section went on for aeons.
Why don't Mark and Steven judge the newbies on face value and not on hearsay?
Mark treats Christopher like a piece of shit. He's like a mini Pauline the way he treats Christopher. His game has gone out the window this week.
Steven it's too late for 'journey' talk. Hit the road. Did Zoe really say she was only fit to talk to celebs? Dearie me. And once she was safe, too!
Are the crowd really chanting 'get Pav out'? But it was Steven! Thank god.
He has to have the eye shut during his interview like a proper hate figure. He looks under the cosh. Of course you don't agree with people putting you up, idiot.
No 30 seconds to say goodbye to Kimberly, boo hoo. Steven didn't look embarrassed about ANY of his highlights. Shameless.
Five people have had sex in the Big Brother house? Is the odd number Kinga?
Emma going on at Steven about the sex. Blah. Ooh, she's mentioning him being controlling, good. And the photos. Steven doesn't get it and will never get it. I honestly think he's unhinged.
Ooh, he's put on a few pounds in the house, hasn't he. No ham on toast in his best bits? Poor cow.
Kimberly nearly got smacked on the head with the eye. Their cuddle was so awkward! Steven wants booze, not robo-fanny. I doubt if his mum will leave his side all night, the interfering old bag.
We have the power to protect a housemate? The REAL task will probably be that they get the boot. This is what happens when you lose the trust of your viewers. That and your ratings go the way of Mark's popularity. Night!
Why has Zoe got a hunchback? Perhaps she's growing a tail. New housemates got shafted big time by the old housemates this week; they're not gameplanning, they're just boring. I actually feel a bit sorry for them because they're being ostracised for no reason. Helen's dressed like X Factor US era Cheryl Cole.
They are showing Ashleigh saying she doesn't think she's going! Mixers. It's another few quid in the pocket of Bruv, innit.
The old housemates patronising Pav is quite annoying. I wish Winston would get off his case.
I don't think Chris needs tasks that make him look more creepy. And I don't think Zoe gives many 'lob ons'. Mark is more assaulting Christopher than arousing him.
BBUK housemates are not cut out for endurance. Good to see them strategising already, though. Steven: 'I could stay here all night.' Just like his sex sessions. I see the gunge is back. They must have got a job lot off ebay. But the REAL task is... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Get who out? Sounds like Zoe. Yet she had the fewest votes, WTF. I don't get why Pav is getting booed.
Kimberly is Steve's friends and family now. Tragic. Are they chanting 'cheat' at her? I wish Steven's mum would fuck off. That friends and family section went on for aeons.
Why don't Mark and Steven judge the newbies on face value and not on hearsay?
Mark treats Christopher like a piece of shit. He's like a mini Pauline the way he treats Christopher. His game has gone out the window this week.
Steven it's too late for 'journey' talk. Hit the road. Did Zoe really say she was only fit to talk to celebs? Dearie me. And once she was safe, too!
Are the crowd really chanting 'get Pav out'? But it was Steven! Thank god.
He has to have the eye shut during his interview like a proper hate figure. He looks under the cosh. Of course you don't agree with people putting you up, idiot.
No 30 seconds to say goodbye to Kimberly, boo hoo. Steven didn't look embarrassed about ANY of his highlights. Shameless.
Five people have had sex in the Big Brother house? Is the odd number Kinga?
Emma going on at Steven about the sex. Blah. Ooh, she's mentioning him being controlling, good. And the photos. Steven doesn't get it and will never get it. I honestly think he's unhinged.
Ooh, he's put on a few pounds in the house, hasn't he. No ham on toast in his best bits? Poor cow.
Kimberly nearly got smacked on the head with the eye. Their cuddle was so awkward! Steven wants booze, not robo-fanny. I doubt if his mum will leave his side all night, the interfering old bag.
We have the power to protect a housemate? The REAL task will probably be that they get the boot. This is what happens when you lose the trust of your viewers. That and your ratings go the way of Mark's popularity. Night!
Monday, 21 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: Battle of the blands
Run bilious blog.
Hiya! Thought I'd better do a blog NOT on an eviction night for once. I do feel I've dropped the ball with my blog; but then Big Brother have dropped the ball with these housemates, so I guess it's checkmate. Still: I'll soldier on and just pray for a better series next time, or for someone who gives a shit about Big Brother to buy it. Live feeds don't work? Seem to be working in BBUS just fine. Our BB is so cheap and nasty in comparison, it makes me feel grubby. Also, these new housemates are hopeless. Danielle for them was NOT a good swap. Everyone is so odious at this point that Helen and Ash are looking positively charming. How did THAT happen?!
Some other things: I'm fed up with Chris getting singled out in EVERY SINGLE task. Can you remember the last time Helen got stitched up? That someone saw Helen bitching? No, because it's never happened. Maaaaaaark's game is unraveling fast, and the weaker he gets, the stronger and more sane Christopher seems. He's sweet and charming, and you can't say that for anyone else in the house. He's my pick to win right now.
Ashleigh sold Danielle down the river way too fast for my liking, but it's not like Danielle didn't do it to her as well (letting Helen call Ashleigh a bitch) so I'll call that a draw.
So Kimberly was gone for good (not a great shock there) and they give psycho Steve a PHONE CALL. Why, exactly?! Big Brother is about making people SWEAT about the outside world, not reassuring them, and especially not reassuring this entitled prick. He really does get everything he wants, and I can't bear it. I hope he chokes on his ham and toast. Are we missing Kimberly? No, we are not. Still, an interview with her would be nice. Even ejected housemates get an interview. What gets her off the hook? Hospital? She was in the morgue a couple of weeks ago and still looked lively.
Anyway, onto tonight. Battle of the bands! They did this in BBAU and it was really good. The song they sang was really catchy and got stuck in my head. They spend a few quid on their tasks, though, unlike us. They recorded their vocals and everything. Can't see that happening here.
Did Ash and Helen do more under the covers? I don't know and I'm happy not to know. Let's just use our imagination, or not as the case may be. All the 'jokes' on Twitter about her invoicing Ash etc are absolutely pathetic (as opposed to absolutely fantastic) by the way. But we do love to slut shame, don't we. People just cannot resist it. Ash and Helen are well matched; I just don't have much confidence in him to stick by her (even as a friend) once his mum has her say.
Mark not choosing Christopher for his team! What a prick. Mark's treatment of Christopher is really poor. And Christopher's little face, too. Aw.
So it's Florence and the (Dialysis) Machine vs The Killers. How can people not know how Mr Brightside goes? Animals! Dear God, I hate Zoe. She loves herself SO much! She's super bossy, too. It's like doing karaoke with someone who can actually sing. Annoying. It reminds me of when Rex's girlfriend came in and did Thriller. That's the only thing I can remember about her. Except she was a complete cunt.
Aw, Christopher at the back is too cute. Nice to see Ashleigh with a smile on her face for once, too.
Mark is getting The Killers confused with Bon Jovi, lol. Winston during that song made me cry with laughter. Ashleigh bitching about them was funny, as well. The Killers was clearly more entertaining! Haha, and they won. Hilarity.
Mark getting overruled on inviting Ashleigh to the party. Talk about outvoted. Helen is so bossy! How Ash ever stayed on the block when the boys were up is beyond me with Helen 'alwaysintheright' in his corner.
I don't blame Ashleigh for being annoyed! On Helen: 'She's an absolute tramp.'Weeeeeeelll (refer to my earlier comment).
Christopher pining over Mark; Mark was the weak link in the band if anything. Oh God, Helen's on the cider. God help us.
I like Ashleigh's reaction to being chosen as the power housemate. I voted for Christopher! I'm glad Ashleigh got it, though. Shit though, everyone who's been the power housemate has pretty much left so far. Mind you, it's secret so maybe that will help her. I'd say her acting was so/so when it got announced. Steven: 'I think Pauline's coming back in.' What?! Finger so not on the pulse.
Detective Winston is on the case of the power housemate! He needs the moustache again. Ashleigh seems somewhat drunk for someone who doesn't drink. And Chris is doing a drunk diary room.
Helen fretting about losing her pass. Steven trying to force Ash and Helen into a relationship! Stop! It's not good to be a hash pusher.
ARE Big Brother going to give Ashleigh the power to evict Helen? That would be delicious. So they probably won't.
Helen would give her pass to the final to STEVEN! Argh! Why is she always so rude to Christopher! It's horrible. Her and Mark should be ashamed. I hope Mark doesn't win, purely because of his treatment of Christopher. I'd rather see Winston take it as at least he sticks up for people.
Ashleigh likes having the power, because she likes hatching evil plans. Can she finally finish off what she started with Ash this week? I like it when she's super confident in the diary room. She looks stunning again when she's not carping in the corner. Are we actually going to have a happy week? Happy happy house? Nah, don't be silly. I'm sure they'll think of a way to fuck it right up. Remember Toya was the power housemate and went home? Expect the unexpected. And unwanted. And unfair. Night all!
Hiya! Thought I'd better do a blog NOT on an eviction night for once. I do feel I've dropped the ball with my blog; but then Big Brother have dropped the ball with these housemates, so I guess it's checkmate. Still: I'll soldier on and just pray for a better series next time, or for someone who gives a shit about Big Brother to buy it. Live feeds don't work? Seem to be working in BBUS just fine. Our BB is so cheap and nasty in comparison, it makes me feel grubby. Also, these new housemates are hopeless. Danielle for them was NOT a good swap. Everyone is so odious at this point that Helen and Ash are looking positively charming. How did THAT happen?!
Some other things: I'm fed up with Chris getting singled out in EVERY SINGLE task. Can you remember the last time Helen got stitched up? That someone saw Helen bitching? No, because it's never happened. Maaaaaaark's game is unraveling fast, and the weaker he gets, the stronger and more sane Christopher seems. He's sweet and charming, and you can't say that for anyone else in the house. He's my pick to win right now.
Ashleigh sold Danielle down the river way too fast for my liking, but it's not like Danielle didn't do it to her as well (letting Helen call Ashleigh a bitch) so I'll call that a draw.
So Kimberly was gone for good (not a great shock there) and they give psycho Steve a PHONE CALL. Why, exactly?! Big Brother is about making people SWEAT about the outside world, not reassuring them, and especially not reassuring this entitled prick. He really does get everything he wants, and I can't bear it. I hope he chokes on his ham and toast. Are we missing Kimberly? No, we are not. Still, an interview with her would be nice. Even ejected housemates get an interview. What gets her off the hook? Hospital? She was in the morgue a couple of weeks ago and still looked lively.
Anyway, onto tonight. Battle of the bands! They did this in BBAU and it was really good. The song they sang was really catchy and got stuck in my head. They spend a few quid on their tasks, though, unlike us. They recorded their vocals and everything. Can't see that happening here.
Did Ash and Helen do more under the covers? I don't know and I'm happy not to know. Let's just use our imagination, or not as the case may be. All the 'jokes' on Twitter about her invoicing Ash etc are absolutely pathetic (as opposed to absolutely fantastic) by the way. But we do love to slut shame, don't we. People just cannot resist it. Ash and Helen are well matched; I just don't have much confidence in him to stick by her (even as a friend) once his mum has her say.
Mark not choosing Christopher for his team! What a prick. Mark's treatment of Christopher is really poor. And Christopher's little face, too. Aw.
So it's Florence and the (Dialysis) Machine vs The Killers. How can people not know how Mr Brightside goes? Animals! Dear God, I hate Zoe. She loves herself SO much! She's super bossy, too. It's like doing karaoke with someone who can actually sing. Annoying. It reminds me of when Rex's girlfriend came in and did Thriller. That's the only thing I can remember about her. Except she was a complete cunt.
Aw, Christopher at the back is too cute. Nice to see Ashleigh with a smile on her face for once, too.
Mark is getting The Killers confused with Bon Jovi, lol. Winston during that song made me cry with laughter. Ashleigh bitching about them was funny, as well. The Killers was clearly more entertaining! Haha, and they won. Hilarity.
Mark getting overruled on inviting Ashleigh to the party. Talk about outvoted. Helen is so bossy! How Ash ever stayed on the block when the boys were up is beyond me with Helen 'alwaysintheright' in his corner.
I don't blame Ashleigh for being annoyed! On Helen: 'She's an absolute tramp.'Weeeeeeelll (refer to my earlier comment).
Christopher pining over Mark; Mark was the weak link in the band if anything. Oh God, Helen's on the cider. God help us.
I like Ashleigh's reaction to being chosen as the power housemate. I voted for Christopher! I'm glad Ashleigh got it, though. Shit though, everyone who's been the power housemate has pretty much left so far. Mind you, it's secret so maybe that will help her. I'd say her acting was so/so when it got announced. Steven: 'I think Pauline's coming back in.' What?! Finger so not on the pulse
Detective Winston is on the case of the power housemate! He needs the moustache again. Ashleigh seems somewhat drunk for someone who doesn't drink. And Chris is doing a drunk diary room.
Helen fretting about losing her pass. Steven trying to force Ash and Helen into a relationship! Stop! It's not good to be a hash pusher.
ARE Big Brother going to give Ashleigh the power to evict Helen? That would be delicious. So they probably won't.
Helen would give her pass to the final to STEVEN! Argh! Why is she always so rude to Christopher! It's horrible. Her and Mark should be ashamed. I hope Mark doesn't win, purely because of his treatment of Christopher. I'd rather see Winston take it as at least he sticks up for people.
Ashleigh likes having the power, because she likes hatching evil plans. Can she finally finish off what she started with Ash this week? I like it when she's super confident in the diary room. She looks stunning again when she's not carping in the corner. Are we actually going to have a happy week? Happy happy house? Nah, don't be silly. I'm sure they'll think of a way to fuck it right up. Remember Toya was the power housemate and went home? Expect the unexpected. And unwanted. And unfair. Night all!
Friday, 18 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: This is a really nasty bunch of people
Evening! So, three new housemates and all of them pure arseholes. Good work, Big Brother.
So only the two SAVED new housemates get to vote on which original housemate to evict.Save Pav, in that case, as he's the only one talking sense.
OMG Kimberly is ill and has temporarily left the house and is SAFE from eviction. She won't be back. I can't believe Steven allowed her out. What's wrong with her? Pregnant? Getting a change of head? It's weird that she's safe from eviction. That was good timing on her part. Hopefully it increases the chances of Steven leaving.
Chris now likes all the original housemates. I think it's catching as I have warmed towards Helen and Ash this week, which is messed up. Editing!
Does Steven get the joke of 'open up to Steven'? I suspect not. Steven kind of works as a chat show host. Yay, Pav is taking down Steven's firework nonsense. Steven: 'No one came in here for the 100K'. WTF! I didn't understand how Steven could turn 100K of fireworks into 300K. I think because it made no sense.
Zoe telling Ashleigh to 'whip her hair round'. Shut up. Zoe doesn't want to smell Steven 'having a bonk'. Me either.
Biannca is pledging to do a Kinga 2. Fair dos.
Winston: 'You're not going to get the right guy saying I want to ride your cock.' Biannca: 'I don't want the right guy, I just want to sit on your cock.' That's him told.
OMG Biannca is making Danielle crying by calling her a horny devil! Aw, poor Danielle, the whole facade is crumbling. I wish Biannca would shut her giant yap.
OMG an actual advert for fanny spray. Toya, RIP.
Helen gets off the hook in these tasks EVERY TIME. Good on that injunction, hey?
LOL to Dexter's penis size getting dragged through the mud. Danielle is upset cos she's been described as 'horny'. Helen is not helping matters.
Danielle admitted about the topless stuff when Danielle wasn't there! Why is Biannca so bothered if Danielle has had sex or not? Let her be deluded if she wants. Stop trying to drag everyone down to your level, Biannca.
LOL to the sign saying 'Two second Steve #topshagger'. Good work.
Chris = not a Britney fan. 'The others are pretending to have fun'. Ha, they probably are. Chris was spot on, they are a nasty bunch of people and who cares what Danielle has done? So true about Helen's secret as well.
Remember when Danielle was moanging about Helen working out topless?! Now Bianca is rolling round naked. LOL. They're wrapping her in a piece of cardboard. Danielle's not happy.
'Stop touching my face.' How romantic.
Helen and Ash getting off! Took them long enough. Is Kimberly gonna crawl along the floor and bang her head on his bed?
What are the crowd chanting? 'You slept with Steven?' 'Two second Steven?' Shame Kimberly's not there to hear that. Mind you, she already knows.
Noobs eviction! Is Zoe wearing a leather top? She's bold in this heat. Why is Pav getting booed?
Biannca is leaving! That's good as she was too in with Helen. I wasn't sure who would go. Hopefully Pav and Zoe will make a sensible decision.
OMG to Biannca getting her boobs out at the top of the stairs. Emma is not impressed. She's such a prude, ha. Biannca is getting 'who are ya' chanted at her. I can't believe they're interviewing her out there. Poor thing! At least I don't have to type 'Biannca' anymore. Here's your best tits. Let's face it, we'd seen all that Biannca had to offer.
Shit it's the real eviction. The crowd seem keen for Steven to go, right. OMG they evicted Danielle. No way, she shouldn't have gone like that. Totally unfair. Listen to the crowd, you fuckwits. They didn't even give a reason.
Danielle's going all sultry as she's evicted! She's changing back to her old persona! She looks great in that dress. She actually looks sexy!
Damn right it's not fair that Danielle went. It WAS Biannca's decision too, they'd already decided FFS! Glad Danielle has got the hump, she's got every right to be. Danielle giving a politicians answer to the question of the glamour shoots. Good on her. Oh shut up, Emma, stop slut-shaming. Emma Willis could be the new Denise Robertson the way she goes on.
Danielle laughing at the clips of herself swearing - good on her. OMG! Danielle saw 'protection' on the dressing table. Lawks! At least they're using protection. I forgot about that green dress she came in wearing. It was horrid.
Aw, Danielle. You went too soon. But at least it wasn't the first week, and it could have been. Armageddon? Cuntmageddon more like.
Meanwhile, Kimberly boards a flight back to America. Fingers crossed. For her sake.
So only the two SAVED new housemates get to vote on which original housemate to evict.Save Pav, in that case, as he's the only one talking sense.
OMG Kimberly is ill and has temporarily left the house and is SAFE from eviction. She won't be back. I can't believe Steven allowed her out. What's wrong with her? Pregnant? Getting a change of head? It's weird that she's safe from eviction. That was good timing on her part. Hopefully it increases the chances of Steven leaving.
Chris now likes all the original housemates. I think it's catching as I have warmed towards Helen and Ash this week, which is messed up. Editing!
Does Steven get the joke of 'open up to Steven'? I suspect not. Steven kind of works as a chat show host. Yay, Pav is taking down Steven's firework nonsense. Steven: 'No one came in here for the 100K'. WTF! I didn't understand how Steven could turn 100K of fireworks into 300K. I think because it made no sense.
Zoe telling Ashleigh to 'whip her hair round'. Shut up. Zoe doesn't want to smell Steven 'having a bonk'. Me either.
Biannca is pledging to do a Kinga 2. Fair dos.
Winston: 'You're not going to get the right guy saying I want to ride your cock.' Biannca: 'I don't want the right guy, I just want to sit on your cock.' That's him told.
OMG Biannca is making Danielle crying by calling her a horny devil! Aw, poor Danielle, the whole facade is crumbling. I wish Biannca would shut her giant yap.
OMG an actual advert for fanny spray. Toya, RIP.
Helen gets off the hook in these tasks EVERY TIME. Good on that injunction, hey?
LOL to Dexter's penis size getting dragged through the mud. Danielle is upset cos she's been described as 'horny'. Helen is not helping matters.
Danielle admitted about the topless stuff when Danielle wasn't there! Why is Biannca so bothered if Danielle has had sex or not? Let her be deluded if she wants. Stop trying to drag everyone down to your level, Biannca.
LOL to the sign saying 'Two second Steve #topshagger'. Good work.
Chris = not a Britney fan. 'The others are pretending to have fun'. Ha, they probably are. Chris was spot on, they are a nasty bunch of people and who cares what Danielle has done? So true about Helen's secret as well.
Remember when Danielle was moanging about Helen working out topless?! Now Bianca is rolling round naked. LOL. They're wrapping her in a piece of cardboard. Danielle's not happy.
'Stop touching my face.' How romantic.
Helen and Ash getting off! Took them long enough. Is Kimberly gonna crawl along the floor and bang her head on his bed?
What are the crowd chanting? 'You slept with Steven?' 'Two second Steven?' Shame Kimberly's not there to hear that. Mind you, she already knows.
Noobs eviction! Is Zoe wearing a leather top? She's bold in this heat. Why is Pav getting booed?
Biannca is leaving! That's good as she was too in with Helen. I wasn't sure who would go. Hopefully Pav and Zoe will make a sensible decision.
OMG to Biannca getting her boobs out at the top of the stairs. Emma is not impressed. She's such a prude, ha. Biannca is getting 'who are ya' chanted at her. I can't believe they're interviewing her out there. Poor thing! At least I don't have to type 'Biannca' anymore. Here's your best tits. Let's face it, we'd seen all that Biannca had to offer.
Shit it's the real eviction. The crowd seem keen for Steven to go, right. OMG they evicted Danielle. No way, she shouldn't have gone like that. Totally unfair. Listen to the crowd, you fuckwits. They didn't even give a reason.
Danielle's going all sultry as she's evicted! She's changing back to her old persona! She looks great in that dress. She actually looks sexy!
Damn right it's not fair that Danielle went. It WAS Biannca's decision too, they'd already decided FFS! Glad Danielle has got the hump, she's got every right to be. Danielle giving a politicians answer to the question of the glamour shoots. Good on her. Oh shut up, Emma, stop slut-shaming. Emma Willis could be the new Denise Robertson the way she goes on.
Danielle laughing at the clips of herself swearing - good on her. OMG! Danielle saw 'protection' on the dressing table. Lawks! At least they're using protection. I forgot about that green dress she came in wearing. It was horrid.
Aw, Danielle. You went too soon. But at least it wasn't the first week, and it could have been. Armageddon? Cuntmageddon more like.
Meanwhile, Kimberly boards a flight back to America. Fingers crossed. For her sake.
Monday, 14 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: Come Armageddon come
Nice to have a Morrissey-related title on the day his new album comes out, isn't it? Nicer still to have Armageddon; if only they'd wipe this lot out for real.
So why is tonight's episode only an hour!? Surely we need longer for three new housemates and an eviction. What about the highlights?
Who goes? They decide. Not quite got the same ring to it, has it? I don't trust these lot to make the right decision, that's the problem! They keep fucking it up.
'Mark is feeling regretful.' Five minutes later: 'No regrets.' Mark has 'thrown himself into the full experience.' Well you could have done it on camera and not in a blind spot in the storeroom, spoilsport! Sort your cameras out, Big Brother. Get your angles in order. I like the Mark and Christopher romance. And they know how to get it on DISCREETLY under the covers.
Mark being all cagey around Christopher now and Christopher covering for him, pretending nothing happened. Maybe Mark's parents are really conservative?
I don't even know what Ashleigh and Danielle are getting pissy with each other about. I enjoyed the raft wars yesterday, it was actually quite a fun episode with the focus off psycho Steve and the robot.
Remind me not to tell Ash any secrets, blabbermouth. Aw, Christopher likes Mark 'a little bit.' I think their relationship is so cute and fragile. I don't think either of them know what they want. I think Christopher is right that Mark likes him more than he'd admit. Christopher's Mark impression was startlingly good.
Chris having a little sing to the moon there. It's like Eastenders, isn't it? Only more depressing.
WTF so they nominated yesterday and we don't even get to SEE the nominations! Why aren't they doing it live? Oh I know, so they can fix the result, ie. make it the person with the most nominations as opposed to making the other housemates choose between them if they didn't like that result. I see you, Big Brother! I know your game.
It's got to be Marlon. Please! OMG it was. Thank God. Is he going out with no top on? LOL Marlon is getting evicted naked to no crowd. Hilarity. He seems to be taking it in good humour. I've never seen him so perky. Maybe him pressing that button last week wasn't so bad after all! Byeeeeeeee! Imagine if it HAD been Ashleigh though? I've even warmed to that maggot Ash in the past week. BB was playing with fire there; well, if they hadn't already fixed it beforehand, that is.
Marlon getting interviewed in a dressing gown from Jo O' Meara's autumn collection is quite fitting. It is sad when they don't get the crowd, I think, even if they are an arse. But that's the way it goes sometimes.
Marlon got nominated by everyone, didn't he? Oh, everyone except Danielle and Ashleigh apparently. Feel a bit jibbed that we didn't get to see all the nominations, I would have like to have seen the reasons for Ash, at least.
I don't know why Emma is going Marlon such a hard time about the button pushing thing, because he dug his own grave anyway. He's sitting there in the grossest looking dressing down I've ever seen and everyone in the house will have forgotten his name by midnight. I feel sorry for him really, the sheen really came off. He had no personality, no game, nothing.
Marlon's best bit was getting evicted in his underpants. And his reaction to the new housemates, lol. Christ, did Emma have to speak to him for so long? Not much time for new housemates, is there? Bollocks.
All housemates up for eviction this week! I hope Steven goes.
LOL Helen's face at the new housemates! Her lips are TIGHT. This is all going TOO FAST. I can't keep up. Couldn't they have made tonight's show an hour and a half? They are showing the VTs, so it's lucky Pauline's not in there.
First in Zoe, a singer from Pop Idol. I don't remember her. She doesn't like lethargic people. You're lucky, Marlon's just gone. She doesn't like people having sex in the house. Well... tough?
Pav. An Asian guy from Essex. Studied psychology so thinks he's the next Dan Gheesling or something, probably.
Bianca is an exotic dancer who fancies Essex boys. She's got some teeth on her. Ooh, she 'says it to your face.' Toya times. God, she talks like Jordan. 'I will be having sex in the house!' Whether any man in there likes it or not. Ha! Love it. Danielle, spare us the fake shock.
The guy seems mildly interesting. The girls look the same. None of them seem like TRUE GAMERS. I want an evil genius in there. I really wish they'd just put some adonis in there that all the girls would drool over. It would be more interesting to see that dynamic and Steven's reaction than this bollocks.
WTF, they are letting these muppets choose who will be evicted this week? That's totally unfair. What if they evict Mark, or Chris or (insert your favourite here). Oh, I know what will happen. They'll take Helen's pass off her midweek and the new housemates will evict her. It's too risky otherwise! Big Brother wouldn't take an entirely pointless risk that would jeopardise the integrity of the show, would they? Hahaha! Of course they would.
It's almost like Big Brother don't WANT our money! Oh, we can boot one of the housemates. Either of the girls will do, then I'll be able to tell them apart. Still, who really gives a fuck about that? I wanted to evict psycho STEVE this week! Fuck you, Big Brother, you old cunt, and fuck Armageddon, too.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel whine.
So why is tonight's episode only an hour!? Surely we need longer for three new housemates and an eviction. What about the highlights?
Who goes? They decide. Not quite got the same ring to it, has it? I don't trust these lot to make the right decision, that's the problem! They keep fucking it up.
'Mark is feeling regretful.' Five minutes later: 'No regrets.' Mark has 'thrown himself into the full experience.' Well you could have done it on camera and not in a blind spot in the storeroom, spoilsport! Sort your cameras out, Big Brother. Get your angles in order. I like the Mark and Christopher romance. And they know how to get it on DISCREETLY under the covers.
Mark being all cagey around Christopher now and Christopher covering for him, pretending nothing happened. Maybe Mark's parents are really conservative?
I don't even know what Ashleigh and Danielle are getting pissy with each other about. I enjoyed the raft wars yesterday, it was actually quite a fun episode with the focus off psycho Steve and the robot.
Remind me not to tell Ash any secrets, blabbermouth. Aw, Christopher likes Mark 'a little bit.' I think their relationship is so cute and fragile. I don't think either of them know what they want. I think Christopher is right that Mark likes him more than he'd admit. Christopher's Mark impression was startlingly good.
Chris having a little sing to the moon there. It's like Eastenders, isn't it? Only more depressing.
WTF so they nominated yesterday and we don't even get to SEE the nominations! Why aren't they doing it live? Oh I know, so they can fix the result, ie. make it the person with the most nominations as opposed to making the other housemates choose between them if they didn't like that result. I see you, Big Brother! I know your game.
It's got to be Marlon. Please! OMG it was. Thank God. Is he going out with no top on? LOL Marlon is getting evicted naked to no crowd. Hilarity. He seems to be taking it in good humour. I've never seen him so perky. Maybe him pressing that button last week wasn't so bad after all! Byeeeeeeee! Imagine if it HAD been Ashleigh though? I've even warmed to that maggot Ash in the past week. BB was playing with fire there; well, if they hadn't already fixed it beforehand, that is.
Marlon getting interviewed in a dressing gown from Jo O' Meara's autumn collection is quite fitting. It is sad when they don't get the crowd, I think, even if they are an arse. But that's the way it goes sometimes.
Marlon got nominated by everyone, didn't he? Oh, everyone except Danielle and Ashleigh apparently. Feel a bit jibbed that we didn't get to see all the nominations, I would have like to have seen the reasons for Ash, at least.
I don't know why Emma is going Marlon such a hard time about the button pushing thing, because he dug his own grave anyway. He's sitting there in the grossest looking dressing down I've ever seen and everyone in the house will have forgotten his name by midnight. I feel sorry for him really, the sheen really came off. He had no personality, no game, nothing.
Marlon's best bit was getting evicted in his underpants. And his reaction to the new housemates, lol. Christ, did Emma have to speak to him for so long? Not much time for new housemates, is there? Bollocks.
All housemates up for eviction this week! I hope Steven goes.
LOL Helen's face at the new housemates! Her lips are TIGHT. This is all going TOO FAST. I can't keep up. Couldn't they have made tonight's show an hour and a half? They are showing the VTs, so it's lucky Pauline's not in there.
First in Zoe, a singer from Pop Idol. I don't remember her. She doesn't like lethargic people. You're lucky, Marlon's just gone. She doesn't like people having sex in the house. Well... tough?
Pav. An Asian guy from Essex. Studied psychology so thinks he's the next Dan Gheesling or something, probably.
Bianca is an exotic dancer who fancies Essex boys. She's got some teeth on her. Ooh, she 'says it to your face.' Toya times. God, she talks like Jordan. 'I will be having sex in the house!' Whether any man in there likes it or not. Ha! Love it. Danielle, spare us the fake shock.
The guy seems mildly interesting. The girls look the same. None of them seem like TRUE GAMERS. I want an evil genius in there. I really wish they'd just put some adonis in there that all the girls would drool over. It would be more interesting to see that dynamic and Steven's reaction than this bollocks.
WTF, they are letting these muppets choose who will be evicted this week? That's totally unfair. What if they evict Mark, or Chris or (insert your favourite here). Oh, I know what will happen. They'll take Helen's pass off her midweek and the new housemates will evict her. It's too risky otherwise! Big Brother wouldn't take an entirely pointless risk that would jeopardise the integrity of the show, would they? Hahaha! Of course they would.
It's almost like Big Brother don't WANT our money! Oh, we can boot one of the housemates. Either of the girls will do, then I'll be able to tell them apart. Still, who really gives a fuck about that? I wanted to evict psycho STEVE this week! Fuck you, Big Brother, you old cunt, and fuck Armageddon, too.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel whine.
Friday, 11 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: Wanked all over my face
Intense scenes of sexual intercourse! Dear God. Thanks for the warning. *Switches off show. Ends blog.*
Oh, actually, my friend has a banner in the audience so I'd best stay and try and spot it. Emma looks nice.
Boos for Marlon, yay. And kind of for Jale. I've voted to evict Jale. COULD she go? Anything is possible. Including another massive disappointment.
Marlon: 'Do I pose a threat to people?' No.
Steven's secret mission... but what the he doesn't know if the real task is... oh, you get the picture.
Ugh, close your legs in the DR, Marlon, you're making me sick. He IS trying to do some gaming, you know. Pitiful, really.
Ah, I did see my friend in the audience! A big banner saying 'keep Ashleigh in' will help with that. Cool!
Steven going loopy about Kimberly's picture of her ex boyfriend. I like the way Kimberly is kind of laughing at him. I want to see a picture of Kim's boyfriend, too. Actually, I saw some small ones online today and he looked like a cute indie kid. Kim looked carefree and happy in them. Ha, Kimberly saying Steven's reaction of chopping up the photos would be psycho. Steven: 'I feel like someone has wanked all over my face.' Gross. Weird analogy. 'I didn't ask for this' - ha. I can't believe Helen backed him up, that's total madness. Being able to be friends with your exes speaks well of you. Anyone 'chopping up' any photos of any sort is unhinged. I don't think Steven's ever had a girlfriend before. He behaves like a teenager. Or something worse.
Chris is safe. Christopher is safe. Jale and Ashleigh getting booed cos of the patriarchy. Sigh. Still, get Jale out.
Fuck! She cut up the photos! They are Polaroids, too. You can't replace those. He's really done a number on her. She won't forgive herself for that later. Taking advice from HELEN, a known psycho. Kimberly has got some ISSUES. I would never give up my memories for anyone. Steven is psychologically abusive.
Kimberly saying 'I can't show emotion and I'll tell you why when I get out of the house' says to me that might have been abused, so it's no wonder she's flocking to these abusive characters in the house. Very worrying.
Oh God, here comes the graphic bit.
'Love you'. 'No, you don't.' So romantic. Oh my God, the way she said 'I cut up the photos' like a little girl was really creepy. The way Steven holds what his imaginary ex girlfriend did over Kimberly's head is so unfair, too. This is making me sooooo uncomfortable.
Chris: 'I would wait a year for love.' Why wait a year? You're in there so you might as well have a snog and that.
OMG this bit with Steven and Kimberly is so creepy. 'I'll never leave you... unless it was exceptional circumstances.' This is making me feel ill. It's so unpleasant to watch. Urgh and now they're having sex! OMG he has no respect for her or he wouldn't do that in the house. I mean you can do it spooning a bit, but not like that. There's a line. And they were all sweaty! Ugh. So disgusting and I'm pretty OPEN minded. I feel like Danielle now, all indignant. Steven is doing it like he's got something to prove, he's shagging her like he HOPES her ex boyfriend is watching. The man is demented.
Ha, they crowd is chanting 'get Steven out' now. Mega. That will shit him up. OMG they're chanting over Emma reading out the eviction results. The crowd TURNED! You think it would be Kimberly as she's the woman, but no. They're onto him, thank God.
It WAS Jale evicted! I thought we'd done it, you know. There was just a feeling in the air. Bit anti-climatic after all that, lol. I can't enjoy it, I'm too traumatised!
Good on the everyone who evicted Jale though, we can do it when we stick together. Ooh, they're showing all the horrible things Helen said about Jale. Good. That's who you got into bed with. Do you get it now, as you're sitting there? They spelt out very clear for her who the villian was, there. I wonder if she will actually get it. She doesn't seem stupid.
I think Jale's explanation of why she wanted to give Helen a chance was quite fair, that she saw herself in her. Still the wrong decision, though. Emma should have dug her out a bit more about the way she treated Chris. I wonder if Helen will actually care that Jale went in the end?
'Get Steven' 'dirty people' and 'Yes Ashleigh' are now trending on Twitter, haha. Ooh, what did Marlon look like when Jale got evicted? I feel like I need a rewind on that whole part.
OMG Ashleigh moaning about being saved on the bit of live feed at the end. Be grateful FFS. You've got to laugh.
So it's confirmed, three new housemates going in on Monday. God help us. Come, Armageddon, come. I want to see skin falling off, Helen with eight eyes and the Big Brother house reduced to a nuclear wasteland.
Oh, actually, my friend has a banner in the audience so I'd best stay and try and spot it. Emma looks nice.
Boos for Marlon, yay. And kind of for Jale. I've voted to evict Jale. COULD she go? Anything is possible. Including another massive disappointment.
Marlon: 'Do I pose a threat to people?' No.
Steven's secret mission... but what the he doesn't know if the real task is... oh, you get the picture.
Ugh, close your legs in the DR, Marlon, you're making me sick. He IS trying to do some gaming, you know. Pitiful, really.
Ah, I did see my friend in the audience! A big banner saying 'keep Ashleigh in' will help with that. Cool!
Steven going loopy about Kimberly's picture of her ex boyfriend. I like the way Kimberly is kind of laughing at him. I want to see a picture of Kim's boyfriend, too. Actually, I saw some small ones online today and he looked like a cute indie kid. Kim looked carefree and happy in them. Ha, Kimberly saying Steven's reaction of chopping up the photos would be psycho. Steven: 'I feel like someone has wanked all over my face.' Gross. Weird analogy. 'I didn't ask for this' - ha. I can't believe Helen backed him up, that's total madness. Being able to be friends with your exes speaks well of you. Anyone 'chopping up' any photos of any sort is unhinged. I don't think Steven's ever had a girlfriend before. He behaves like a teenager. Or something worse.
Chris is safe. Christopher is safe. Jale and Ashleigh getting booed cos of the patriarchy. Sigh. Still, get Jale out.
Fuck! She cut up the photos! They are Polaroids, too. You can't replace those. He's really done a number on her. She won't forgive herself for that later. Taking advice from HELEN, a known psycho. Kimberly has got some ISSUES. I would never give up my memories for anyone. Steven is psychologically abusive.
Kimberly saying 'I can't show emotion and I'll tell you why when I get out of the house' says to me that might have been abused, so it's no wonder she's flocking to these abusive characters in the house. Very worrying.
Oh God, here comes the graphic bit.
'Love you'. 'No, you don't.' So romantic. Oh my God, the way she said 'I cut up the photos' like a little girl was really creepy. The way Steven holds what his imaginary ex girlfriend did over Kimberly's head is so unfair, too. This is making me sooooo uncomfortable.
Chris: 'I would wait a year for love.' Why wait a year? You're in there so you might as well have a snog and that.
OMG this bit with Steven and Kimberly is so creepy. 'I'll never leave you... unless it was exceptional circumstances.' This is making me feel ill. It's so unpleasant to watch. Urgh and now they're having sex! OMG he has no respect for her or he wouldn't do that in the house. I mean you can do it spooning a bit, but not like that. There's a line. And they were all sweaty! Ugh. So disgusting and I'm pretty OPEN minded. I feel like Danielle now, all indignant. Steven is doing it like he's got something to prove, he's shagging her like he HOPES her ex boyfriend is watching. The man is demented.
Ha, they crowd is chanting 'get Steven out' now. Mega. That will shit him up. OMG they're chanting over Emma reading out the eviction results. The crowd TURNED! You think it would be Kimberly as she's the woman, but no. They're onto him, thank God.
It WAS Jale evicted! I thought we'd done it, you know. There was just a feeling in the air. Bit anti-climatic after all that, lol. I can't enjoy it, I'm too traumatised!
Good on the everyone who evicted Jale though, we can do it when we stick together. Ooh, they're showing all the horrible things Helen said about Jale. Good. That's who you got into bed with. Do you get it now, as you're sitting there? They spelt out very clear for her who the villian was, there. I wonder if she will actually get it. She doesn't seem stupid.
I think Jale's explanation of why she wanted to give Helen a chance was quite fair, that she saw herself in her. Still the wrong decision, though. Emma should have dug her out a bit more about the way she treated Chris. I wonder if Helen will actually care that Jale went in the end?
'Get Steven' 'dirty people' and 'Yes Ashleigh' are now trending on Twitter, haha. Ooh, what did Marlon look like when Jale got evicted? I feel like I need a rewind on that whole part.
OMG Ashleigh moaning about being saved on the bit of live feed at the end. Be grateful FFS. You've got to laugh.
So it's confirmed, three new housemates going in on Monday. God help us. Come, Armageddon, come. I want to see skin falling off, Helen with eight eyes and the Big Brother house reduced to a nuclear wasteland.
Wednesday, 9 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: 0.3737262 of a Mississippi
I think I might be on Big Brother overload as tonight I've watched two episodes of Big Brother US and we've done our UK Big Brother Bile podcast. We are having a week's worth of Big Brother in one night! God help us. This is what happens when your boyfriend does overtime. It's like a task just catching up with it all and enduring the UK version.
Jale moaning about people talking behind her back... behind others' backs.
Mark getting some outside contact, lol. They've made Mark's eyebrows too SMALL! That's not HD. It's LD.
Those Twitter messages Christopher and Winston saw are so BIASED. Anti Ashleigh and anti Danielle! Winston denounced Danielle quick smart. Boo. Don't worry, Christopher, Winston knows full well what hypocrisy means.
I would SO be making up a few tweets if I was Christopher and Winston. 'The whole country hates Helen', for example.
Kimberly is half being reasonable with Danielle and Ashleigh, but I still don't get why she backs Helen so much. I do not get her taste in people whatsoever.
The safety app. Well we all know who pushes the button in 0.3737262 of a Mississippi. The biggest twat in the house. And that's a house with Steven, Helen and Ash in. WHY did Big Brother give Marlon the opportunity to do it! I just don't get it. It's obvious the most selfish person would take it.
Christopher told Ashleigh to drain it! Interesting. So he would have been happy for her to do it, but not Marlon?
Ashleigh: self proclaimed 'not a game player.' The others acting all sanctimonious is a bit rich, though. Who knows what they would have done in that sitiation?
Don't get me wrong; I hate Marlon's guts. But this lot being holier than thou is a joke. This could actually HELP Marlon's game if the others gang up on him. He's looking victimised right now. I was SO angry about this last night but the others are looking just as bad.
Winston keeps getting aerated, doesn't he? I quite like that side of him, though. Makes a change from the usual gormlessness.
The others all used the battery too, let's not forget. I can't believe I'm defending fucking Marlon, but seriously. The others are all in one group picking on one person. Is Mark not going to defend Marlon now, lol.
The others are pissy cos they wanted Marlon to go, I reckon. They're not that bothered about food.
Even Ash is having a dig at Marlon! Danielle is the only one speaking to him. Ash is defending Ashleigh! LOL. Desperate. Winston: 'Face eviction like a man.' Yes, not like a woman, whatever you do. Bad timing for the loo there, Christopher, you're missing a row here. Why is Winston so bothered? Why is Ash so bothered?! Mind you, I was so angry about this yesterday. I think I've just given up today. I'm just resigned to it all. Keep talking, Jale. Keep digging! 'You can't pick and choose your friends.' Unless you're Jale.
Steven, you're 23, you've got Big Brother brain, stop talking about marriage. Cut to Kimberly rolling her eyes. Probably when they have sex is the only time Kimberly DOESN'T roll her eyes.
Helen's counselling of Marlon wasn't very comforting. Steven: a bad judge of character? Never.
Ash thought Marlon was selfless? Are you brain damaged, Ash? Jerk.
Loved Helen doing the international gesture for fingering. You think Grimberly would wait until the others are akip. Helen is bold, I wouldn't go near that. OMG her banging her head was funny. Passion killer! I like naught Helen, just not scary Helen. Kimberly probably prearranged the intervention. Who could blame her?
Jale moaning about people talking behind her back... behind others' backs.
Mark getting some outside contact, lol. They've made Mark's eyebrows too SMALL! That's not HD. It's LD.
Those Twitter messages Christopher and Winston saw are so BIASED. Anti Ashleigh and anti Danielle! Winston denounced Danielle quick smart. Boo. Don't worry, Christopher, Winston knows full well what hypocrisy means.
I would SO be making up a few tweets if I was Christopher and Winston. 'The whole country hates Helen', for example.
Kimberly is half being reasonable with Danielle and Ashleigh, but I still don't get why she backs Helen so much. I do not get her taste in people whatsoever.
The safety app. Well we all know who pushes the button in 0.3737262 of a Mississippi. The biggest twat in the house. And that's a house with Steven, Helen and Ash in. WHY did Big Brother give Marlon the opportunity to do it! I just don't get it. It's obvious the most selfish person would take it.
Christopher told Ashleigh to drain it! Interesting. So he would have been happy for her to do it, but not Marlon?
Ashleigh: self proclaimed 'not a game player.' The others acting all sanctimonious is a bit rich, though. Who knows what they would have done in that sitiation?
Don't get me wrong; I hate Marlon's guts. But this lot being holier than thou is a joke. This could actually HELP Marlon's game if the others gang up on him. He's looking victimised right now. I was SO angry about this last night but the others are looking just as bad.
Winston keeps getting aerated, doesn't he? I quite like that side of him, though. Makes a change from the usual gormlessness.
The others all used the battery too, let's not forget. I can't believe I'm defending fucking Marlon, but seriously. The others are all in one group picking on one person. Is Mark not going to defend Marlon now, lol.
The others are pissy cos they wanted Marlon to go, I reckon. They're not that bothered about food.
Even Ash is having a dig at Marlon! Danielle is the only one speaking to him. Ash is defending Ashleigh! LOL. Desperate. Winston: 'Face eviction like a man.' Yes, not like a woman, whatever you do. Bad timing for the loo there, Christopher, you're missing a row here. Why is Winston so bothered? Why is Ash so bothered?! Mind you, I was so angry about this yesterday. I think I've just given up today. I'm just resigned to it all. Keep talking, Jale. Keep digging! 'You can't pick and choose your friends.' Unless you're Jale.
Steven, you're 23, you've got Big Brother brain, stop talking about marriage. Cut to Kimberly rolling her eyes. Probably when they have sex is the only time Kimberly DOESN'T roll her eyes.
Helen's counselling of Marlon wasn't very comforting. Steven: a bad judge of character? Never.
Ash thought Marlon was selfless? Are you brain damaged, Ash? Jerk.
Loved Helen doing the international gesture for fingering. You think Grimberly would wait until the others are akip. Helen is bold, I wouldn't go near that. OMG her banging her head was funny. Passion killer! I like naught Helen, just not scary Helen. Kimberly probably prearranged the intervention. Who could blame her?
Tuesday, 8 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: You have allowed me to fall in love with you
I'm only just getting over Grimberly's antics last night and looks like they're gonna proper shaft Ashleigh tonight, too. Great.
So, in tonight's app zone task we get contact with the outside world and very specific information, too, stitching Kimberly RIGHT up. Are all housemates going to get stitched up equally? Will queen Helen get stitched up? Somehow I doubt it.
Steven's mum: 'The housemates are all wonderful.' Are you watching a different show? She shouldn't be allowed to say shit about Kimberly's personal life. Kimberly is twitching. Don't clam up now, Kimberly.
Steven is stringing this out, almost enjoying it. I hate him. 'She needs to start opening up.' Argh! Close it! Stop saying it!
I am going to get sick of this Steven and Kimberly bullshit VERY fast, especially if it dominates the whole show. They're both fake as fuck, neither will see each other outside the house, so why do we have to suffer through this tedium?
Danielle's dog is cute. I used to have a chihuahua. Don't you think that's scary for a dog to have all that emotion put on you like that? I liked the way the dog popped out of the bag on BOTS but they cut that bit. That was the best bit. Can we do a dog swap and have Coco instead of Helen? (Meow)
FFS Steven it's OBVIOUS that Kimberly DID have a boyfriend or she wouldn't be twitching so much! Get a fucking clue, you gorm! 'Intimately involved'. Why doesn't he speak like a normal person? I can't BEAR HIM.
Oh good, they're showing Marlon being sexist twat. Get Marlon out!
Kimberly, you are not IN LOVE with Steven. How could ANYONE be IN LOVE with Steven? Even his own mother would struggle to love him. He's not even a real person. He's a soundbite! Look at his fucking eyebrows. He's not a man. He's pathetic.
Kimberly: 'I forget how to speak.' I can safely say I have never had that problem in my life. I'm not surprised she forgets how to speak though, with him droning on all the time. He's a control freak. He's going to use this as a stick to beat her with, and he's going to enjoy it. No wonder he looks 40.
I hate this 'gossip app' thing. It's so unfair on Ashleigh. Big Brother is just being too unfair right now. Oh and they're stitching up Chris, too. Brilliant. Why are they giving the cunts the advantage?! I can't stand it. My blood pressure is going up, I swear.
Finally, Helen vs Ashleigh, although totally engineered. Mark is at least being fair, saying it's not just Ashleigh. I know Mark plays up the 'voice of reason' thing, but sometimes, he is actually the voice of reason! Ugh, Jale lording it over Chris, I can't BEAR it! I suppose she's never said anything bad about Chris, right? I can't STAND HER. Ash called you a MAGGOT and you're still up his cunt. Stupid cow.
Helen: 'If I was bullying I'd get her on her own.' I bet she fucking would. Like Helen's never said anything about Ashleigh! Fucking nonsense. ARGHHHHHHHH!
I cannot STAND this show at the moment. It's deathly boring, and then horribly unfair. Sort it out or I'm quitting the podcast too, I can't be bothered promoting their shit show when they can't be bothered to actually make it fair, or decent. And I know I'm throwing another strop but this is getting beyond a joke now. It's not fun to watch in any way. I also heard someone has been saved from eviction, which just kills this week. How could they let it happen? In BBUS they RIG IT to keep the popular people in if needed. Can't BBUK sort their shit out?
OMG RED FLAG! Steven: 'As long as you don't have any communication with him.' WTF. How dare you tell someone who they can speak to?! That is a SERIOUS red flag. He is going to use this and use this and turn it into a big pity party for him. I really hope Kimberly wises up and tells him to go fuck himself. I'd personally like to take a match to the whole house. Wankers.
So, in tonight's app zone task we get contact with the outside world and very specific information, too, stitching Kimberly RIGHT up. Are all housemates going to get stitched up equally? Will queen Helen get stitched up? Somehow I doubt it.
Steven's mum: 'The housemates are all wonderful.' Are you watching a different show? She shouldn't be allowed to say shit about Kimberly's personal life. Kimberly is twitching. Don't clam up now, Kimberly.
Steven is stringing this out, almost enjoying it. I hate him. 'She needs to start opening up.' Argh! Close it! Stop saying it!
I am going to get sick of this Steven and Kimberly bullshit VERY fast, especially if it dominates the whole show. They're both fake as fuck, neither will see each other outside the house, so why do we have to suffer through this tedium?
Danielle's dog is cute. I used to have a chihuahua. Don't you think that's scary for a dog to have all that emotion put on you like that? I liked the way the dog popped out of the bag on BOTS but they cut that bit. That was the best bit. Can we do a dog swap and have Coco instead of Helen? (Meow)
FFS Steven it's OBVIOUS that Kimberly DID have a boyfriend or she wouldn't be twitching so much! Get a fucking clue, you gorm! 'Intimately involved'. Why doesn't he speak like a normal person? I can't BEAR HIM.
Oh good, they're showing Marlon being sexist twat. Get Marlon out!
Kimberly, you are not IN LOVE with Steven. How could ANYONE be IN LOVE with Steven? Even his own mother would struggle to love him. He's not even a real person. He's a soundbite! Look at his fucking eyebrows. He's not a man. He's pathetic.
Kimberly: 'I forget how to speak.' I can safely say I have never had that problem in my life. I'm not surprised she forgets how to speak though, with him droning on all the time. He's a control freak. He's going to use this as a stick to beat her with, and he's going to enjoy it. No wonder he looks 40.
I hate this 'gossip app' thing. It's so unfair on Ashleigh. Big Brother is just being too unfair right now. Oh and they're stitching up Chris, too. Brilliant. Why are they giving the cunts the advantage?! I can't stand it. My blood pressure is going up, I swear.
Finally, Helen vs Ashleigh, although totally engineered. Mark is at least being fair, saying it's not just Ashleigh. I know Mark plays up the 'voice of reason' thing, but sometimes, he is actually the voice of reason! Ugh, Jale lording it over Chris, I can't BEAR it! I suppose she's never said anything bad about Chris, right? I can't STAND HER. Ash called you a MAGGOT and you're still up his cunt. Stupid cow.
Helen: 'If I was bullying I'd get her on her own.' I bet she fucking would. Like Helen's never said anything about Ashleigh! Fucking nonsense. ARGHHHHHHHH!
I cannot STAND this show at the moment. It's deathly boring, and then horribly unfair. Sort it out or I'm quitting the podcast too, I can't be bothered promoting their shit show when they can't be bothered to actually make it fair, or decent. And I know I'm throwing another strop but this is getting beyond a joke now. It's not fun to watch in any way. I also heard someone has been saved from eviction, which just kills this week. How could they let it happen? In BBUS they RIG IT to keep the popular people in if needed. Can't BBUK sort their shit out?
OMG RED FLAG! Steven: 'As long as you don't have any communication with him.' WTF. How dare you tell someone who they can speak to?! That is a SERIOUS red flag. He is going to use this and use this and turn it into a big pity party for him. I really hope Kimberly wises up and tells him to go fuck himself. I'd personally like to take a match to the whole house. Wankers.
Monday, 7 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: Put 'em on finger blast
I'm back, bitches, by unpopular demand. My post-Matthew strop is over, but let's face it, the material I'm left to work with is not great. Helen: a one-woman mission to put everyone in the vicinity on blast. Steven and Kimberly: the world's creepiest showmance (Marriage! Looking at 'places'! Seriously!) and the mysterious non-union of Winston and Danielle. Still, I'll do my best with the slim pickings. Come, Armageddon, come.
When they're trying to make Christopher an interesting character, you know things are going down the pan, fast. I'm not even commenting on Mark pretending to say things wrong.
Why has Ashleigh got a full face of make up today? Is it a special occasion? Even Danielle's got some lippy on, even if it is a mum colour. Everyone says they don't think Winston likes Danielle, but I think Winston likes the challenge of Danielle. I think he knows he can crack her. And fuck you, Tamara. You knew him for a WEEK. You don't have dibs, despite showergate. Why does no one care about Tamara anymore? Oh cos no one did in the first place, she was just a stick to beat Kimberly with.
Why is Steven listing the ages of everyone in his family as if he's writing a tabloid? The man is an absolute freak show.
Nom noms! Christopher: Steven and Winston. Why bother nominating Winston?! He won't go.
Helen: Ashleigh (shocker!) for being 'one of the biggest gobs in the house.' One of the biggest, so who's got the biggest again?! LOL. Also, she nominated Christopher, because she had to talk to him for 48 hours, as she was stuck in the morgue with him. You're hardly Princess Diana visiting landmine amputees, Helen. You spoke to someone and didn't shout at them for a short period of time. Congrats!
Chris nominated Marlon (thank fuck) for being stroppy. How about for being a total prick? Also, Steven. Well, can't argue with that. No Ash, though? Fail.
I couldn't live three seconds in that house with Marlon, he's disgusting. I can't BEAR HIM.
Ooh, Winston nominated Chris. Boo. I'm not surprised Chris is constantly watching you, Winston, he's probably wondering why your mouth is always hanging open. He also nominated Ashleigh. Trying to get Danielle on his own, is he?!
Ashleigh nominated Ash. Not a great shock there. Ashleigh looks cute today. Ashleigh is in my top three right now. She's got balls. She also nommed Kimberly. Why! Nominate Marlon! You might as well nominate a bottle of shampoo as Kimberly. The shampoo probably has more controversial opinions.
Steven nominated Ashleigh for saying that 'he's too good for Kimberly.'What a prick. That's a compliment. He also nominated Chris for not having a 'journey'. He's ALWAYS gunning for Chris. What's your journey, Steven, getting your heart stamped on by the coldest woman in history? She's so cold she makes that woman out of Catterick look warm.
Here's a shit decision for you, Helen: Pauline giving you the pass to the final. I'm sick of shit decisions being made, too. 'The golden barge...' LOL. Quick, shut the lock. So because Helen told Christopher something about her personal life, she thinks she can talk to him like a piece of crap forevermore. And everyone just sits there.
WTF Kimberly WANTS to live with Steven? Why does she always look like he stinks of shit when he comes within eye-roll range of her?
Oh, nominations are still going on. I'd forgotten. Marlon nommed Ashleigh and Christopher, Christopher for having a go at Helen. Funny, innit?
Danielle nominated Christopher for not inviting her to that crap Christmas party where Mark was squealing like a wounded fox shut in a car door. She also nominated Marlon. Hurrah. Why is no one nominating Ash this week? Can we get Marlon out this week, pretty please?
Kimberly nominated Ashleigh for being 'disingenuine.' Maybe that's a word in America? She also nominated Danielle. God, she really has gone to the dark side. So cool with Ash and Marlon then, slutbuckets extraordinaire? Pathetic. Kimberly: 'I sometimes don't show how I feel.' I've got stuffed animals that are more affectionate than her.
I love Danielle's horror at Kimberly and Steven moving in together. Separate rooms! Ha. I didn't like it when she was being horrible about Kimberly a week or two ago, but Kimberly fully deserves it now, so fuck her.
I HATE riddles. I also hate jokes. Mark's riddle was almost quite good. That's not a good sign.
What are Steven and Slugsworth sniggering about? Pair of cunts.
Oh I thought nominations were over. It's endless! Ash nominated Ashleigh (surprise) and Danielle (boo).
Jale nominated Chris (hiss) and Ash (not all bad then).
Maaaaaaark nominated Kimberly for being 'emotionally closed'. No flies on him, is there? Thank God Mark nominated Marlon. Someone gets it. Mark is the only person to get no nominations! Whoop.
God, imagine Ash and Winston living together? They'll probably move into that old council flat that Josie and John James shared with that third wheel JJ. They'll probably throw in the decks and a magazine deal for free. I'm getting angry now, etc.
Guys, if we can't band together and get Marlon out this week, what good are we? We might as well do a joint suicide pact. If Ashleigh goes, I'm going to be LIVID. It's all decent people and then Marlon. Do the right thing, for God's sake.
What's Helen shocked about? Shouldn't she be happy that Ash is safe?
LOL, 'how could anyone nominate Chris'? The house is full of wankers! That's how.
Who's going to tell Steven that Big Brother IS a game! Fucking idiot. The man is a PRICK. Good judge of character?! He's going out with a FACSIMILE. I'm tired of this knobhead, seriously. He's got to go soon.
Ugh, who's snoring in that bedroom? Gross. Bet it's Slugsworth. Is Steven masturbating or 'fingerbanging' Kimberly? UGH! 'Open it?!' Open what! I'm hoping it was her mouth, but I think it's her rock hard fanny. He needs a bulldozer of some sort. Definitely mining equipment. That was 100% grotesque. That could put someone off sex for life. I'm traumatised. Play it into the house! Show Danielle! She'll probably pretend to faint.
PS: Sorry if you're waiting for the podcasts! My partner in bile is working overtime but we'll be catching up midweek - I can assure you it will be worth the wait. SMH.
When they're trying to make Christopher an interesting character, you know things are going down the pan, fast. I'm not even commenting on Mark pretending to say things wrong.
Why has Ashleigh got a full face of make up today? Is it a special occasion? Even Danielle's got some lippy on, even if it is a mum colour. Everyone says they don't think Winston likes Danielle, but I think Winston likes the challenge of Danielle. I think he knows he can crack her. And fuck you, Tamara. You knew him for a WEEK. You don't have dibs, despite showergate. Why does no one care about Tamara anymore? Oh cos no one did in the first place, she was just a stick to beat Kimberly with.
Why is Steven listing the ages of everyone in his family as if he's writing a tabloid? The man is an absolute freak show.
Nom noms! Christopher: Steven and Winston. Why bother nominating Winston?! He won't go.
Helen: Ashleigh (shocker!) for being 'one of the biggest gobs in the house.' One of the biggest, so who's got the biggest again?! LOL. Also, she nominated Christopher, because she had to talk to him for 48 hours, as she was stuck in the morgue with him. You're hardly Princess Diana visiting landmine amputees, Helen. You spoke to someone and didn't shout at them for a short period of time. Congrats!
Chris nominated Marlon (thank fuck) for being stroppy. How about for being a total prick? Also, Steven. Well, can't argue with that. No Ash, though? Fail.
I couldn't live three seconds in that house with Marlon, he's disgusting. I can't BEAR HIM.
Ooh, Winston nominated Chris. Boo. I'm not surprised Chris is constantly watching you, Winston, he's probably wondering why your mouth is always hanging open. He also nominated Ashleigh. Trying to get Danielle on his own, is he?!
Ashleigh nominated Ash. Not a great shock there. Ashleigh looks cute today. Ashleigh is in my top three right now. She's got balls. She also nommed Kimberly. Why! Nominate Marlon! You might as well nominate a bottle of shampoo as Kimberly. The shampoo probably has more controversial opinions.
Steven nominated Ashleigh for saying that 'he's too good for Kimberly.'What a prick. That's a compliment. He also nominated Chris for not having a 'journey'. He's ALWAYS gunning for Chris. What's your journey, Steven, getting your heart stamped on by the coldest woman in history? She's so cold she makes that woman out of Catterick look warm.
Here's a shit decision for you, Helen: Pauline giving you the pass to the final. I'm sick of shit decisions being made, too. 'The golden barge...' LOL. Quick, shut the lock. So because Helen told Christopher something about her personal life, she thinks she can talk to him like a piece of crap forevermore. And everyone just sits there.
WTF Kimberly WANTS to live with Steven? Why does she always look like he stinks of shit when he comes within eye-roll range of her?
Oh, nominations are still going on. I'd forgotten. Marlon nommed Ashleigh and Christopher, Christopher for having a go at Helen. Funny, innit?
Danielle nominated Christopher for not inviting her to that crap Christmas party where Mark was squealing like a wounded fox shut in a car door. She also nominated Marlon. Hurrah. Why is no one nominating Ash this week? Can we get Marlon out this week, pretty please?
Kimberly nominated Ashleigh for being 'disingenuine.' Maybe that's a word in America? She also nominated Danielle. God, she really has gone to the dark side. So cool with Ash and Marlon then, slutbuckets extraordinaire? Pathetic. Kimberly: 'I sometimes don't show how I feel.' I've got stuffed animals that are more affectionate than her.
I love Danielle's horror at Kimberly and Steven moving in together. Separate rooms! Ha. I didn't like it when she was being horrible about Kimberly a week or two ago, but Kimberly fully deserves it now, so fuck her.
I HATE riddles. I also hate jokes. Mark's riddle was almost quite good. That's not a good sign.
What are Steven and Slugsworth sniggering about? Pair of cunts.
Oh I thought nominations were over. It's endless! Ash nominated Ashleigh (surprise) and Danielle (boo).
Jale nominated Chris (hiss) and Ash (not all bad then).
Maaaaaaark nominated Kimberly for being 'emotionally closed'. No flies on him, is there? Thank God Mark nominated Marlon. Someone gets it. Mark is the only person to get no nominations! Whoop.
God, imagine Ash and Winston living together? They'll probably move into that old council flat that Josie and John James shared with that third wheel JJ. They'll probably throw in the decks and a magazine deal for free. I'm getting angry now, etc.
Guys, if we can't band together and get Marlon out this week, what good are we? We might as well do a joint suicide pact. If Ashleigh goes, I'm going to be LIVID. It's all decent people and then Marlon. Do the right thing, for God's sake.
What's Helen shocked about? Shouldn't she be happy that Ash is safe?
LOL, 'how could anyone nominate Chris'? The house is full of wankers! That's how.
Who's going to tell Steven that Big Brother IS a game! Fucking idiot. The man is a PRICK. Good judge of character?! He's going out with a FACSIMILE. I'm tired of this knobhead, seriously. He's got to go soon.
Ugh, who's snoring in that bedroom? Gross. Bet it's Slugsworth. Is Steven masturbating or 'fingerbanging' Kimberly? UGH! 'Open it?!' Open what! I'm hoping it was her mouth, but I think it's her rock hard fanny. He needs a bulldozer of some sort. Definitely mining equipment. That was 100% grotesque. That could put someone off sex for life. I'm traumatised. Play it into the house! Show Danielle! She'll probably pretend to faint.
PS: Sorry if you're waiting for the podcasts! My partner in bile is working overtime but we'll be catching up midweek - I can assure you it will be worth the wait. SMH.
Friday, 4 July 2014
Big Brother 2014: Always in the wrong
I haven't blogged all week which isn't a good sign! I think this week has actually been better; they spent a few quid on the morgue task and Winston's moustache was worth the entry fee alone. I enjoyed the ridiculous deaths. Ashleigh proved her mettle as a true gamer; pretending she liked Steven to secure Ash's place on the block. There was more FUN (t.m. BBBOTS) and I enjoyed the showmance between Winston and Danielle. Her luring him into bed then kicking him out was great. Not so much the no-mance between human statue Kimberly and human cringebag Steven. Why DID Kimberly get into bed with Steven? She must be fucking desperate. 'I'm really happy.' Tell your face, then. Danielle: 'I hope there was no hanky panky. Was it a French kiss?' Are we in high school?!
So tonight! It HAS to be Ash, doesn't it? How can it be anyone else?
Marlon to Winston: 'Did you grab her boobs?' No, because that would be sexual assault. This guy is such a cretin. Danielle clearly wants to get her mitts on Winston's Eiffel Tower. Has Danielle really been swayed by Winston's poem/rap? Jesus Christ. She's either mental or one of the top five Big Brother players ever. Either way, she's going deep in the game.
I like Helen telling bad jokes and tipping a drink over herself like the bloke in the cider advert. The blokes probably liked the wet t-shirt too, except Matthew. I saw Matthew's girlfriend on BOTS yesterday, and she didn't seem like a real person, so I think he is definitely gay.
I thought Winston liked Danielle for her 'assets' rather than her personality. I think he DOES want to 'grab her boobs' as Marlon so eloquently put, but he doesn't quite realise all the other shit that comes with it. And I think by the time he does, it will be too late. Hard on talk! Lovely.
WTF has Christopher done to his hair? Mark's little face when he got a cheer.
Why are they chanting 'get Ashleigh out'? Why is Matthew getting booed? This crowd are dumber than Winston. Worrying.
Ugh, friends and family. Here's Matthew's beard. She is super annoying.
Ash, everyone thinks YOU are an absolute tosser, not Matthew. Marlon: 'We're the true entertainers.' You're the true tosspots.
How has Steven twigged that Kimberly is with someone else? 'I can't like you if you're someone else's.' She's not an object, Steven! But she does sits motionless for long periods, so I kind of understand the mistake. Talk about full on. It's obvious from the way she's acting that something's up. She's got a poker face, but not in this instance. Steven is way too intense. Aren't new relationships supposed to be happy? She looks permanently suicidal and he's acting like he's in Eastenders. That's Winston's job, not you.
Matthew isn't going to go, is he? The crowd finally chanting 'Get Ash out' - I think. It's hard to say. OMG it WAS Matthew! WTF. I am AGOG. I might have to stop watching this series. Seriously, he was in my top three. It's too depressing. The show is depressing as hell anyway, but my enthusiasm for it is waning badly.
I don't think I'll be blogging anymore. I guess we'll do a couple more podcasts because I don't like to quit, but I'll be fucked if I'm expending much more energy on this show. I've written this blog ever since Jade Goody vs Shilpa, pretty much every day Big Brother has been on. I've been loyal past the point of sanity. But I just don't want to anymore. I'm starting to think my Big Brother crap online is cancelling out my actual real work online. And what's the point in it? Nothing. Big Brother has no respect for people who love the show. THEY don't love the show. So why should I waste my time on it? Maybe I'll just blog the evictions? I honestly don't know right now, I feel so humpy. It's just so unjust that Helen, Marlon and Ash are in that house and Matthew's not. I'll miss his silliness with Mark.
Normally I wake up in the morning and watch the show again with my boyfriend if he's been working. Not tomorrow. Fuck you, Big Brother. I raise an eyebrow to Matthew and bid you goodnight.
So tonight! It HAS to be Ash, doesn't it? How can it be anyone else?
Marlon to Winston: 'Did you grab her boobs?' No, because that would be sexual assault. This guy is such a cretin. Danielle clearly wants to get her mitts on Winston's Eiffel Tower. Has Danielle really been swayed by Winston's poem/rap? Jesus Christ. She's either mental or one of the top five Big Brother players ever. Either way, she's going deep in the game.
I like Helen telling bad jokes and tipping a drink over herself like the bloke in the cider advert. The blokes probably liked the wet t-shirt too, except Matthew. I saw Matthew's girlfriend on BOTS yesterday, and she didn't seem like a real person, so I think he is definitely gay.
I thought Winston liked Danielle for her 'assets' rather than her personality. I think he DOES want to 'grab her boobs' as Marlon so eloquently put, but he doesn't quite realise all the other shit that comes with it. And I think by the time he does, it will be too late. Hard on talk! Lovely.
WTF has Christopher done to his hair? Mark's little face when he got a cheer.
Why are they chanting 'get Ashleigh out'? Why is Matthew getting booed? This crowd are dumber than Winston. Worrying.
Ugh, friends and family. Here's Matthew's beard. She is super annoying.
Ash, everyone thinks YOU are an absolute tosser, not Matthew. Marlon: 'We're the true entertainers.' You're the true tosspots.
How has Steven twigged that Kimberly is with someone else? 'I can't like you if you're someone else's.' She's not an object, Steven! But she does sits motionless for long periods, so I kind of understand the mistake. Talk about full on. It's obvious from the way she's acting that something's up. She's got a poker face, but not in this instance. Steven is way too intense. Aren't new relationships supposed to be happy? She looks permanently suicidal and he's acting like he's in Eastenders. That's Winston's job, not you.
Matthew isn't going to go, is he? The crowd finally chanting 'Get Ash out' - I think. It's hard to say. OMG it WAS Matthew! WTF. I am AGOG. I might have to stop watching this series. Seriously, he was in my top three. It's too depressing. The show is depressing as hell anyway, but my enthusiasm for it is waning badly.
I don't think I'll be blogging anymore. I guess we'll do a couple more podcasts because I don't like to quit, but I'll be fucked if I'm expending much more energy on this show. I've written this blog ever since Jade Goody vs Shilpa, pretty much every day Big Brother has been on. I've been loyal past the point of sanity. But I just don't want to anymore. I'm starting to think my Big Brother crap online is cancelling out my actual real work online. And what's the point in it? Nothing. Big Brother has no respect for people who love the show. THEY don't love the show. So why should I waste my time on it? Maybe I'll just blog the evictions? I honestly don't know right now, I feel so humpy. It's just so unjust that Helen, Marlon and Ash are in that house and Matthew's not. I'll miss his silliness with Mark.
Normally I wake up in the morning and watch the show again with my boyfriend if he's been working. Not tomorrow. Fuck you, Big Brother. I raise an eyebrow to Matthew and bid you goodnight.
Friday, 27 June 2014
Big Brother 2014: Boo it to your face
Well, what a horrible week it's been in the Big Brother house. The reason I haven't blogged every day is because how many different ways can I say I hate these people and the arguing is depressing? It's been painful to watch.
But is there hope Ash might go tonight? My only mistake is I'm hoping. But Danielle survived against Tamara, and Toya has been given a quiet edit for a day or two, so there is hope. I think the hatred for Helen is strong and whoever in the house said 'guilt by association' was right. Ash could be in big trouble.
I see Ashleigh failed in her mission to stop Danielle wearing 'the eyelashes that make her look like a transvestite' - her words, not mine. I think Danielle looks fine dolled up. It's a relief when any of the girls have their make up on!
Helen reminds me of kids who have free travel on the bus and only have it revoked if they misbehave. Helen HAS the free travel, and still she keeps banging on the driver's booth. So take the fucking Oyster card of her, Big Brother, you baby. Or she's going to stab someone on the top deck. Have I laboured that enough?
Chris giving it the bi-curious storyline! True gaming. You're not 10% gay if you've never even kissed a guy. I think you'd have to at least do a handjob for 10%.
Danielle and Ashleigh: the world's dreariest washer women.
Matthew is getting on my nerves a bit now; he's got some good one liners but I don't like the way he looks down on Helen because she's a 'chav.' Hate Helen because she's Helen, by all means, but stop being so superior. You're coming across as a bit of a douche, frankly.
Setting Steven up to do this words task is quite funny because it's the sort of bullshit he would say. I'd rather he didn't do it while eating an apple, though. And when Winston is dissing you for having never read a book, you know you're a pure dimlo.
Mark is not going to be able to balance being friends with both Helen and Matthew for long.
I can't work out what the crowd are chanting. Must be 'get someone out' again.
Jale is safe. Jale WILL go at some point. Maybe when there's not 40 people on the block. Ooh, Christopher is safe too (again). And Chris! I think Chris is my favourite right now. He's is just 'someone off a course' to quote my boyfriend, but you'd be glad to be in his breakout group. Could probably get him to either do the writing or stand up and explain what your group did, too.
Toya is actually right about Jale being desperate to be liked by Helen. Jale is a total flip-flopper; as is Mark to a lesser extent.
Chris storylining with this bisexual nonsense. Never mind. We've all got to have a 'journey' right?
Ooh good they're showing this 'If Ash went, Helen would crumble' bit. Ash is twitching about it in the Diary Room too! 'I think I'm a nice guy.' Nice guys don't have to tell everyone they're nice guys. People know. You? Not so much, maggot.
Fuck, I just voted to evict Ash again. This Big Brother is getting expensive.
Eyebrow-gate! No shit Mark is a drama queen, Toya, and thank God he's in there, and I never thought I'd say that. Steven is just 'formulating opinions.' We saw Kimberly's boyfriend on BOTS so I don't think Steven's got much hope, bless him.
Uh oh, the crowd are chanting 'get Toya out'. No, don't. Winston is the only person getting a cheer now. Ash is twitching because he wasn't saved first this week. The crowd DO seem super loud tonight. And someone is chanting 'Rooney'!
Ugh, Marlon is safe so it's either Toya or Ash. Please let it be Ash!
Fuck! I can't believe it was Toya. That's £1.50 down the drain. 'Remember what I told you.' Be careful with those words in the Big Brother house. I reckon it was close, you know. Toya did get on my nerves, but she had a lot more to offer than Ash. Why is she getting booed so much? For sticking up for herself? That was a golden opportunity missed there. Total nightmare. One white woman, then two black women in three weeks. Says it all, doesn't it. It's not even fair that Toya was the power housemate and got evicted anyway. Another bullshit twist.
Toya is handling herself very well. She looks good and she's talking sense. Helen IS sucking the fun out of the house. Toya has some annoying affectations; 'conversating' for example, but I enjoyed 'beep is going to hit the fan' and the double thumbs down when she left the house.
Oh God, who's going to get the power now? It's like having leprosy. Oh, girl power. An all girls alliance. It's shameful they have to make all the girls safe just to stop them being evicted one after another. I agree with positive discrimination, it's just a shame it has to be that way. Up the patriarchy. Still, at least Ash or Marlon will go next time. And is Jale safe this week?
So no podcast until Sunday as Billy Bile is hard at work! But then I get to watch Big Brother US so it will be worth the wait! Whoop. Fingers crossed it's not wall to wall cunts like this lot.
Oh yeah, my tweet was in the Daily Star today. Probably the stupidest and least funny tweet I've ever written: I actually disagree with myself in it. So that's something. Still, rather a tweet than my boobs, hey?
But is there hope Ash might go tonight? My only mistake is I'm hoping. But Danielle survived against Tamara, and Toya has been given a quiet edit for a day or two, so there is hope. I think the hatred for Helen is strong and whoever in the house said 'guilt by association' was right. Ash could be in big trouble.
I see Ashleigh failed in her mission to stop Danielle wearing 'the eyelashes that make her look like a transvestite' - her words, not mine. I think Danielle looks fine dolled up. It's a relief when any of the girls have their make up on!
Helen reminds me of kids who have free travel on the bus and only have it revoked if they misbehave. Helen HAS the free travel, and still she keeps banging on the driver's booth. So take the fucking Oyster card of her, Big Brother, you baby. Or she's going to stab someone on the top deck. Have I laboured that enough?
Chris giving it the bi-curious storyline! True gaming. You're not 10% gay if you've never even kissed a guy. I think you'd have to at least do a handjob for 10%.
Danielle and Ashleigh: the world's dreariest washer women.
Matthew is getting on my nerves a bit now; he's got some good one liners but I don't like the way he looks down on Helen because she's a 'chav.' Hate Helen because she's Helen, by all means, but stop being so superior. You're coming across as a bit of a douche, frankly.
Setting Steven up to do this words task is quite funny because it's the sort of bullshit he would say. I'd rather he didn't do it while eating an apple, though. And when Winston is dissing you for having never read a book, you know you're a pure dimlo.
Mark is not going to be able to balance being friends with both Helen and Matthew for long.
I can't work out what the crowd are chanting. Must be 'get someone out' again.
Jale is safe. Jale WILL go at some point. Maybe when there's not 40 people on the block. Ooh, Christopher is safe too (again). And Chris! I think Chris is my favourite right now. He's is just 'someone off a course' to quote my boyfriend, but you'd be glad to be in his breakout group. Could probably get him to either do the writing or stand up and explain what your group did, too.
Toya is actually right about Jale being desperate to be liked by Helen. Jale is a total flip-flopper; as is Mark to a lesser extent.
Chris storylining with this bisexual nonsense. Never mind. We've all got to have a 'journey' right?
Ooh good they're showing this 'If Ash went, Helen would crumble' bit. Ash is twitching about it in the Diary Room too! 'I think I'm a nice guy.' Nice guys don't have to tell everyone they're nice guys. People know. You? Not so much, maggot.
Fuck, I just voted to evict Ash again. This Big Brother is getting expensive.
Eyebrow-gate! No shit Mark is a drama queen, Toya, and thank God he's in there, and I never thought I'd say that. Steven is just 'formulating opinions.' We saw Kimberly's boyfriend on BOTS so I don't think Steven's got much hope, bless him.
Uh oh, the crowd are chanting 'get Toya out'. No, don't. Winston is the only person getting a cheer now. Ash is twitching because he wasn't saved first this week. The crowd DO seem super loud tonight. And someone is chanting 'Rooney'!
Ugh, Marlon is safe so it's either Toya or Ash. Please let it be Ash!
Fuck! I can't believe it was Toya. That's £1.50 down the drain. 'Remember what I told you.' Be careful with those words in the Big Brother house. I reckon it was close, you know. Toya did get on my nerves, but she had a lot more to offer than Ash. Why is she getting booed so much? For sticking up for herself? That was a golden opportunity missed there. Total nightmare. One white woman, then two black women in three weeks. Says it all, doesn't it. It's not even fair that Toya was the power housemate and got evicted anyway. Another bullshit twist.
Toya is handling herself very well. She looks good and she's talking sense. Helen IS sucking the fun out of the house. Toya has some annoying affectations; 'conversating' for example, but I enjoyed 'beep is going to hit the fan' and the double thumbs down when she left the house.
Oh God, who's going to get the power now? It's like having leprosy. Oh, girl power. An all girls alliance. It's shameful they have to make all the girls safe just to stop them being evicted one after another. I agree with positive discrimination, it's just a shame it has to be that way. Up the patriarchy. Still, at least Ash or Marlon will go next time. And is Jale safe this week?
So no podcast until Sunday as Billy Bile is hard at work! But then I get to watch Big Brother US so it will be worth the wait! Whoop. Fingers crossed it's not wall to wall cunts like this lot.
Oh yeah, my tweet was in the Daily Star today. Probably the stupidest and least funny tweet I've ever written: I actually disagree with myself in it. So that's something. Still, rather a tweet than my boobs, hey?
Tuesday, 24 June 2014
Big Brother 2014: Casting you with the same brush
Right everyone calm the fuck down and put your true colours away before we see them. Cos if we see them; God help you! Argh! *puts sunglasses on*
Danielle: 'I don't know why you've put such rude, nasty people in here.' Me either. It's depressing. I can't work out who's aligned to who again this week. Danielle is being quite pathetic, not liking Kim anymore because she's friendly with Helen.
Has Helen got something in her eye? The rotten hag is leaking. She's doing some good victim blaming in the garden. Why has Kimberly aligned with horrid Helen? Oh, cos of Steven. Ugh.
Can't they cancel out Pauline's pass to the final for Helen now she's gone? Please, spare us. Who goes, we decide? Not so much.
Toya is HAPPY about being up for nomination. Pull the other one. Ugh Big Brother is so school yard tonight, girls bitching at each other. Boring. Kimberly is so patient with Danielle. Danielle needs a good shake. Ashleigh is getting as miserable as Danielle.
Another task with a twist - zzz. And another task with gunk! Zzz. And another task with no imagination - standard. Eggs, fish, gunk. Chris looks how I feel.
Winston banging his spoon against a cup like he's in prison is more interesting than what Toya's saying. Danielle on Kim and Steven: 'I don't care.' Why WOULD you care!? You clearly DO care. I don't think Danielle has ever had a boyfriend. I doubt if anyone would book her for a photshoot with Kim because she looks like hell. It looks like she hasn't washed her hair for three weeks.
Dear God, Danielle is being so out of order to Kim, slagging her off to Ashleigh. What a messed up person she is, she needs some hardcore therapy.
Nice to see Danielle letting her (greasy) hair down for once. Braveheart! A fellow homophobe (Mel Gibson, that is).
OMG Steven is so cringeworthy, and I hate that word, but he just IS. Kimberly's face when he kissed her on the cheek was a picture. Ugh, Steven telling her to let go. Maybe she doesn't WANT to let go! She IS cold. But I kind of like that about her.
Ashleigh: 'Why should gay people have to come out?' Er... so people know who they are? It's easy for straight people to say that but most gay people DO have to come out. It's not as easy as it is for her and she shouldn't think it is. It's just lip service.
Is Danielle coming onto Winston with her 'spotless house' talk? Talk about an easy target with Winston. I can't roll my eyes far enough at her one rule for me and women but I'm fairly sure she's making it up, so that makes it easier to listen to.
The pool is quite big this year, isn't it? Wasted on these arseholes. 'Come on, you bastards!' etc. At least they're having a laugh now, except a few miseries in the kitchen, including my favourite, Matthew.
Marlon having a quick grope of Danielle there. I'm surprised she didn't smack him one. 'I could crack that nutcracker.' He's all charm, isn't he?
Hold up, who's in the shower together there? Someone call Pauline! It's Kim, Jale and Chris in there. Filthy fuckers. A threesome!
Toya stop going on about your mum. And is Ashleigh not allowed to have fun cos she's got a boyfriend? She is seriously sour.
I like Kimberly's knitted onesie type thing. I don't like Big Brother at the moment. Also, there's too many people up for eviction again. There's nothing at stake when there's eight people on the block. I want to see an old school style head to head. I suppose there's about as much chance of that as the live feed coming back. Fuck you, Big Brother. We were gonna do a mid-week podcast tonight but we're too depressed - enough said really.
Danielle: 'I don't know why you've put such rude, nasty people in here.' Me either. It's depressing. I can't work out who's aligned to who again this week. Danielle is being quite pathetic, not liking Kim anymore because she's friendly with Helen.
Has Helen got something in her eye? The rotten hag is leaking. She's doing some good victim blaming in the garden. Why has Kimberly aligned with horrid Helen? Oh, cos of Steven. Ugh.
Can't they cancel out Pauline's pass to the final for Helen now she's gone? Please, spare us. Who goes, we decide? Not so much.
Toya is HAPPY about being up for nomination. Pull the other one. Ugh Big Brother is so school yard tonight, girls bitching at each other. Boring. Kimberly is so patient with Danielle. Danielle needs a good shake. Ashleigh is getting as miserable as Danielle.
Another task with a twist - zzz. And another task with gunk! Zzz. And another task with no imagination - standard. Eggs, fish, gunk. Chris looks how I feel.
Winston banging his spoon against a cup like he's in prison is more interesting than what Toya's saying. Danielle on Kim and Steven: 'I don't care.' Why WOULD you care!? You clearly DO care. I don't think Danielle has ever had a boyfriend. I doubt if anyone would book her for a photshoot with Kim because she looks like hell. It looks like she hasn't washed her hair for three weeks.
Dear God, Danielle is being so out of order to Kim, slagging her off to Ashleigh. What a messed up person she is, she needs some hardcore therapy.
Nice to see Danielle letting her (greasy) hair down for once. Braveheart! A fellow homophobe (Mel Gibson, that is).
OMG Steven is so cringeworthy, and I hate that word, but he just IS. Kimberly's face when he kissed her on the cheek was a picture. Ugh, Steven telling her to let go. Maybe she doesn't WANT to let go! She IS cold. But I kind of like that about her.
Ashleigh: 'Why should gay people have to come out?' Er... so people know who they are? It's easy for straight people to say that but most gay people DO have to come out. It's not as easy as it is for her and she shouldn't think it is. It's just lip service.
Is Danielle coming onto Winston with her 'spotless house' talk? Talk about an easy target with Winston. I can't roll my eyes far enough at her one rule for me and women but I'm fairly sure she's making it up, so that makes it easier to listen to.
The pool is quite big this year, isn't it? Wasted on these arseholes. 'Come on, you bastards!' etc. At least they're having a laugh now, except a few miseries in the kitchen, including my favourite, Matthew.
Marlon having a quick grope of Danielle there. I'm surprised she didn't smack him one. 'I could crack that nutcracker.' He's all charm, isn't he?
Hold up, who's in the shower together there? Someone call Pauline! It's Kim, Jale and Chris in there. Filthy fuckers. A threesome!
Toya stop going on about your mum. And is Ashleigh not allowed to have fun cos she's got a boyfriend? She is seriously sour.
I like Kimberly's knitted onesie type thing. I don't like Big Brother at the moment. Also, there's too many people up for eviction again. There's nothing at stake when there's eight people on the block. I want to see an old school style head to head. I suppose there's about as much chance of that as the live feed coming back. Fuck you, Big Brother. We were gonna do a mid-week podcast tonight but we're too depressed - enough said really.
Monday, 23 June 2014
Big Brother 2014: I refuse to live with people like that
So I had a Big Brother blog break over the weekend and everything goes mad. The power couple got 'the power of veto' over three nominations in the house and wisely chose Marlon, Ash and Steven. Who took it REALLY well when they found out! Poor Matthew, talk about beaky in the middle. Toya's yap went into overdrive and he was left shouldering the hate of the bozos. I was pleased that Winston stood up to Toya, but the general sense of entitlement in all quarters in that house is so annoying. Toya is just plain mad and the men are apes. It's a nightmare. Still, those who said she'd be 'calm and fair' in charge must be pleased with how things are going, ha.
Wasn't really a 'secret' veto, was it? How come Chris got to do everything cloak and dagger? Toya is less hurricane and more overcast today. LOL to her calling Marlon 'barbaric.' She's not far off. I LOVED it when Toya called Winston out for peeing over the toilet seat, and her impression of Winston was funny, too. Shame she's so fucking NUTS.
Ash yesterday: 'She should have put the boring cunts up.' She DID. Mark: 'Just because someone's different doesn't make them boring.' That's a man with his eye on the prize. It's not easy to keep all sides sweet as you end up caught in between - I hope he doesn't come unstuck, and yet half hope he does.
Toya: 'I refuse to live with people like that.' Er... there's the door.
I'm glad it's Marlon overhearing things people are saying about his scummy arse this time. Piece of shit. Him, Ash and Steven are pure knobbers. Winston I can still deal with as he's funny, but he could go either way. He's acting like Toya cancelled his nomination, too.
Why is Marlon pretending he's 22 when he's 30? He's thick as shit and immature so I suppose it's a good cover story.
OMG I'm shocked to hear Ashleigh calling Helen a nasty witch! When did this happen?! Helen's getting a good nose-picking edit today. Why is Ashleigh calling Helen a slag? Good editing as usual. No clue what's going on.
Helen would be TOAST if she didn't have the pass to the final. I'm worried we're gonna end up with five or six blokes at the end, though.
Ha, the power housemates can choose someone to save. Brilliant. I'm guessing it's not going to be Ash or Marlon. Suckers. More VTs! I hope they don't go off on one like Pauline - I can't cope with any more urine-related VT bile.
LOL Big Brother have given Toya and Matthew a spy cam into that house. That's a sure fire way to diffuse an argument! *House explodes*
Matthew: 'I reckon the public are desperate to get rid of Helen.' Toya: 'She's got a hard face.' They're not wrong. I like Matthew's sunglasses but his hairy shoulders are making me gag. Matthew could go all the way at this rate, he's twitching but he's somehow getting away with things.
Matthew: 'He looks so fat' about Marlon. Everyone looks fat compared to you! Marlon IS fat, though. I like Toya and Matthew lording it. Keep Toya in, at least she's got a spine. And she laughed when Ash said he wanted to rip her head off!
The audio in that plastic box is awful, I can't hear a word they're saying. Matthew: 'I know you want to save *mumble*'.
Why did Danielle walk off when Jale asked Kimberly about Steven? I think she's jealous that no one fancies her; either that or she's just a another batshit woman in that house.
Toya to Ash: 'I felt intimidated by you.' What bollocks. Toya is the intimidator, not the intimidated. She can stand up for herself more than adequately.
OMG Toya and Matthew saved Steven! Ash looked sour. Should have kept your yap shut, stupid. LOL, Steven then had to choose who to put on the block out of Steven or Toya! That's gratitude for you.
Oh dear, Steven put Toya up. Boo! Look at Ash laughing, the prick. Please vote to evict Marlon! I really want those guys to get a smack in the face. Steven should have put Matthew up as he would have survived.
Look how cocky Marlon is! Ugh, I hate him. Oh dear, Toya's digging her own grave here with her 'own show' talk. Marlon suffers from 'chronic arrogance.' LOL.
Haha, Toya calling Marlon out on Marlicio. Keep Toya in! I love how much she winds Marlon up. Mark the peacemaker. There's no love being in that spot. '22 and works in optics.' He's 30 and works in optics! Whatever that is.
Mark: 'I don't get buses.' What is Mark talking about, why is he angry? 'You don't speak to women like that.' Like what? Great editing again.
Did they not show Toya and Matthew Danielle's same sex marriage comments? And if not, why the fuck not? Why did Toya prefer Danielle acting like a cow on the VT? Toys is pure gold, absolutely mental.
Ash is getting angry again and going super Manc.
Helen vs Toya, ding, ding! Anyone know what this is about, we don't have a clue. I thought Mark was going to go all United Nations and step in again there but he just hid behind a pole and scuttled off again.
Danielle and Ashleigh are like the ugly sisters. They both need a can of dry shampoo and a hot bath.
God, I want to get behind Toya but she don't half go on. She really likes the sound of her own voice.
Helen: 'I find girls sly bitches.' I wonder why? God, what's she yapping about now? Toya: 'I can't save everybody.' Probably not even yourself from eviction this week.
Wasn't really a 'secret' veto, was it? How come Chris got to do everything cloak and dagger? Toya is less hurricane and more overcast today. LOL to her calling Marlon 'barbaric.' She's not far off. I LOVED it when Toya called Winston out for peeing over the toilet seat, and her impression of Winston was funny, too. Shame she's so fucking NUTS.
Ash yesterday: 'She should have put the boring cunts up.' She DID. Mark: 'Just because someone's different doesn't make them boring.' That's a man with his eye on the prize. It's not easy to keep all sides sweet as you end up caught in between - I hope he doesn't come unstuck, and yet half hope he does.
Toya: 'I refuse to live with people like that.' Er... there's the door.
I'm glad it's Marlon overhearing things people are saying about his scummy arse this time. Piece of shit. Him, Ash and Steven are pure knobbers. Winston I can still deal with as he's funny, but he could go either way. He's acting like Toya cancelled his nomination, too.
Why is Marlon pretending he's 22 when he's 30? He's thick as shit and immature so I suppose it's a good cover story.
OMG I'm shocked to hear Ashleigh calling Helen a nasty witch! When did this happen?! Helen's getting a good nose-picking edit today. Why is Ashleigh calling Helen a slag? Good editing as usual. No clue what's going on.
Helen would be TOAST if she didn't have the pass to the final. I'm worried we're gonna end up with five or six blokes at the end, though.
Ha, the power housemates can choose someone to save. Brilliant. I'm guessing it's not going to be Ash or Marlon. Suckers. More VTs! I hope they don't go off on one like Pauline - I can't cope with any more urine-related VT bile.
LOL Big Brother have given Toya and Matthew a spy cam into that house. That's a sure fire way to diffuse an argument! *House explodes*
Matthew: 'I reckon the public are desperate to get rid of Helen.' Toya: 'She's got a hard face.' They're not wrong. I like Matthew's sunglasses but his hairy shoulders are making me gag. Matthew could go all the way at this rate, he's twitching but he's somehow getting away with things.
Matthew: 'He looks so fat' about Marlon. Everyone looks fat compared to you! Marlon IS fat, though. I like Toya and Matthew lording it. Keep Toya in, at least she's got a spine. And she laughed when Ash said he wanted to rip her head off!
The audio in that plastic box is awful, I can't hear a word they're saying. Matthew: 'I know you want to save *mumble*'.
Why did Danielle walk off when Jale asked Kimberly about Steven? I think she's jealous that no one fancies her; either that or she's just a another batshit woman in that house.
Toya to Ash: 'I felt intimidated by you.' What bollocks. Toya is the intimidator, not the intimidated. She can stand up for herself more than adequately.
OMG Toya and Matthew saved Steven! Ash looked sour. Should have kept your yap shut, stupid. LOL, Steven then had to choose who to put on the block out of Steven or Toya! That's gratitude for you.
Oh dear, Steven put Toya up. Boo! Look at Ash laughing, the prick. Please vote to evict Marlon! I really want those guys to get a smack in the face. Steven should have put Matthew up as he would have survived.
Look how cocky Marlon is! Ugh, I hate him. Oh dear, Toya's digging her own grave here with her 'own show' talk. Marlon suffers from 'chronic arrogance.' LOL.
Haha, Toya calling Marlon out on Marlicio. Keep Toya in! I love how much she winds Marlon up. Mark the peacemaker. There's no love being in that spot. '22 and works in optics.' He's 30 and works in optics! Whatever that is.
Mark: 'I don't get buses.' What is Mark talking about, why is he angry? 'You don't speak to women like that.' Like what? Great editing again.
Did they not show Toya and Matthew Danielle's same sex marriage comments? And if not, why the fuck not? Why did Toya prefer Danielle acting like a cow on the VT? Toys is pure gold, absolutely mental.
Ash is getting angry again and going super Manc.
Helen vs Toya, ding, ding! Anyone know what this is about, we don't have a clue. I thought Mark was going to go all United Nations and step in again there but he just hid behind a pole and scuttled off again.
Danielle and Ashleigh are like the ugly sisters. They both need a can of dry shampoo and a hot bath.
God, I want to get behind Toya but she don't half go on. She really likes the sound of her own voice.
Helen: 'I find girls sly bitches.' I wonder why? God, what's she yapping about now? Toya: 'I can't save everybody.' Probably not even yourself from eviction this week.
Friday, 10 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Boo woo x 2
You decide? OK, can I evict Sara and Luke S? No? OK I've decided. I'm gonna vote to save Deana and Adam. I think calling it a semi-final is over-egging it a bit. Monday seems like a funny day to have the final on. And I get one days grace before CBB starts? Fucking hell, give me a break, why don't you? I want to do a blog about (Mike Judge's uh-huh-huh-huh) Beavis and Butthead.
Why has Adam woken up crying? That's not a good way to start the day. I like Deana's dress. I'm glad she apologised. I think she's just a bit of a control freak. I don't know what Adam REALLY makes of her, but I'd love to know. Funny that Deana dismisses Scott as a candidate to win, but she's actually right.
Scott's going to be like Elton John when he has a baby, basically. LOL to Deana and Adam digging Luke out again.
Brian is looking quite waxen tonight. We all know Scabby's going; it's just who she's carting out with her.
I wonder if I would be good at the limbo. I'm short so maybe that would help.
Luke S looked gayer than ever doing the limbo. I think his limbo face is like his sex face. Scott does seem quite bendy, no pun intended. Scott is getting a lot of AIRTIME. I wonder why? (Because producers want to get Deana out).
Having said that I think we have been spared a lot of the 'showmance', thank fuck.
Scott: 'Big Brother has been the womb and this could be the rebirth of me.' Was Caroline the placenta? Becky was definitely the afterbirth.
I can't tell who they're chanting to get out. Ashleigh's hair looks rank. Why is Deana getting booed?
Hold on, did Scott get less votes than Ashleigh? Fucking hell. That's rough. I think it must be the Luke S and Conor vote ringing up for Ashleigh. I like Scott's blue and green outfit and I'm glad he got a cheer. He kind of did the same as Tom did last year and he had a similar gameplan; wishy-washy. It looks like he's got a bruise on his face. What's up with the crowd, is it fancy dress?
Scott seems a bit quiet in his interview. It's a shame he left before Sara, Luke S and Ashleigh, though. But I don't feel emotionally invested in Scott. He never really let us in, and he picked his friends poorly. I think ultimately he was just shallow. He got a short interview. Still, at least he gets to do BOTS, I spose. No BOO WOO in his best bits! WTF. Folly. That was his finest second.
Yes, Ashleigh is out! The soldiers are safe, even if Deana was getting booed to fuck. Who cares, Aaron win last year and got booed all the way.
It all feels very rushed tonight! What's the hurry? That klaxon thing gets on my nerves. Let's hear the boos. Ashleigh seems fairly sensible in her interview.
Luke S DID choose the money over spending the rest of the time in the house, Brian.
Showmance or romance? Ho-mance. OMG are they really showing Ashleigh this task in her interview? It would have been better to do it in the house; much more dramatic. I can't believe they showed her that; it's quite hurtful. Well, it would be if she wasn't so stupid. As it is, she doesn't seem to give a shit.
I can't believe they didn't show the 'wipe up' in the best bits!
I'll be voting for Adam and Deana FTW. Can't wait to see Luke S leave first on Monday. Look at his moody little turtle face. He knows he's got no chance of winning. He's just basically got a three day wait for a cab. Should have listened to Madonna and pushed that button (quicker).
Why has Adam woken up crying? That's not a good way to start the day. I like Deana's dress. I'm glad she apologised. I think she's just a bit of a control freak. I don't know what Adam REALLY makes of her, but I'd love to know. Funny that Deana dismisses Scott as a candidate to win, but she's actually right.
Scott's going to be like Elton John when he has a baby, basically. LOL to Deana and Adam digging Luke out again.
Brian is looking quite waxen tonight. We all know Scabby's going; it's just who she's carting out with her.
I wonder if I would be good at the limbo. I'm short so maybe that would help.
Luke S looked gayer than ever doing the limbo. I think his limbo face is like his sex face. Scott does seem quite bendy, no pun intended. Scott is getting a lot of AIRTIME. I wonder why? (Because producers want to get Deana out).
Having said that I think we have been spared a lot of the 'showmance', thank fuck.
Scott: 'Big Brother has been the womb and this could be the rebirth of me.' Was Caroline the placenta? Becky was definitely the afterbirth.
I can't tell who they're chanting to get out. Ashleigh's hair looks rank. Why is Deana getting booed?
Hold on, did Scott get less votes than Ashleigh? Fucking hell. That's rough. I think it must be the Luke S and Conor vote ringing up for Ashleigh. I like Scott's blue and green outfit and I'm glad he got a cheer. He kind of did the same as Tom did last year and he had a similar gameplan; wishy-washy. It looks like he's got a bruise on his face. What's up with the crowd, is it fancy dress?
Scott seems a bit quiet in his interview. It's a shame he left before Sara, Luke S and Ashleigh, though. But I don't feel emotionally invested in Scott. He never really let us in, and he picked his friends poorly. I think ultimately he was just shallow. He got a short interview. Still, at least he gets to do BOTS, I spose. No BOO WOO in his best bits! WTF. Folly. That was his finest second.
Yes, Ashleigh is out! The soldiers are safe, even if Deana was getting booed to fuck. Who cares, Aaron win last year and got booed all the way.
It all feels very rushed tonight! What's the hurry? That klaxon thing gets on my nerves. Let's hear the boos. Ashleigh seems fairly sensible in her interview.
Luke S DID choose the money over spending the rest of the time in the house, Brian.
Showmance or romance? Ho-mance. OMG are they really showing Ashleigh this task in her interview? It would have been better to do it in the house; much more dramatic. I can't believe they showed her that; it's quite hurtful. Well, it would be if she wasn't so stupid. As it is, she doesn't seem to give a shit.
I can't believe they didn't show the 'wipe up' in the best bits!
I'll be voting for Adam and Deana FTW. Can't wait to see Luke S leave first on Monday. Look at his moody little turtle face. He knows he's got no chance of winning. He's just basically got a three day wait for a cab. Should have listened to Madonna and pushed that button (quicker).
Thursday, 9 August 2012
Big Brother 13: The one and only nominator
I'm a bit drunk tonight as I went to some leaving drinks so what bearing that will have on my blog, who knows? I've got a headache and I feel misunderstood and a bit grumpy. This is my 1,200th blog though. Does that deserve a gong?
Toasted sandwich gatezzzzz. The soldiers are falling apart. I guess I'm going to have to pick a side.
Luke and Ashleigh filler: please, spare me. Fast forward. I laughed at Luke S's childish 'he's like a peacock, take away the pea' joke.
The nomination awards will shit-stir, but everyone is just as guilty as each other. They must all know that nominations could be seen at any point.
Luke S should dedicate his 'nominating Deana' award to his puppet master Conor. What is Ashleigh getting out of her pram about? Put a fucking sock in it, you thicko.
I like Deana's pink silky dress. Her acceptance speech was good. Don't forget the way they treated her! I won't.
It says a lot that Ashleigh and Scott have nominated the people who got evicted the most, as they have bad taste in nominations. They've fucked that house.
Scott looked mad about Sara nominating him. Hot under the collar. This whole show is filler. It's got more filler than a tramp gone nuts in Subway.
I don't think the two Luke's are really nemesises (nemisi?) They just don't click. The nommy's look quite good; on a par with the Pointless trophy.
So when they could finally talk about nominations, Adam said he'd never nominated Luke S and Deana got pissy. Er, they're HIS nominations, not yours. Plus you couldn't talk about nominations, so what was he to do?
This makes me want to save Adam, not Deana. It's not up to Deana who Adam nominates. I think she's really out of line there. Let's face it: Adam has never really liked Deana and Deana just wanted Luke S and Adam as bodies for her alliance.
Quite ironic that Luke is missing out on the dins cooked by the top chef and Deana's missing out on the Indian food. That seems exceptionally cruel.
Oh Deana, please leave Adam alone. Adam is right to nominate boring people. I'm going to vote to save Adam.
Luke S is so patronising! If you love Ashleigh (which you don't), accept her the way she is, warts and all. Don't try and educate her; she's beyond help. Oh my god. Do you think she likes it? At least Luke A, Adam and Deana got to have the leftovers.
Can't wait to see yappy go tomorrow, but just don't know who will go with her. I wish it could be Sara or Luke S. I'm worried it could be Adam. I was going to split my vote but I think I'm going to just give it to Adam. I think Deana will be safe, and Scott, whilst entertaining, doesn't deserve it. Too little too late.
Must nod. Ta-ta...
Toasted sandwich gatezzzzz. The soldiers are falling apart. I guess I'm going to have to pick a side.
Luke and Ashleigh filler: please, spare me. Fast forward. I laughed at Luke S's childish 'he's like a peacock, take away the pea' joke.
The nomination awards will shit-stir, but everyone is just as guilty as each other. They must all know that nominations could be seen at any point.
Luke S should dedicate his 'nominating Deana' award to his puppet master Conor. What is Ashleigh getting out of her pram about? Put a fucking sock in it, you thicko.
I like Deana's pink silky dress. Her acceptance speech was good. Don't forget the way they treated her! I won't.
It says a lot that Ashleigh and Scott have nominated the people who got evicted the most, as they have bad taste in nominations. They've fucked that house.
Scott looked mad about Sara nominating him. Hot under the collar. This whole show is filler. It's got more filler than a tramp gone nuts in Subway.
I don't think the two Luke's are really nemesises (nemisi?) They just don't click. The nommy's look quite good; on a par with the Pointless trophy.
So when they could finally talk about nominations, Adam said he'd never nominated Luke S and Deana got pissy. Er, they're HIS nominations, not yours. Plus you couldn't talk about nominations, so what was he to do?
This makes me want to save Adam, not Deana. It's not up to Deana who Adam nominates. I think she's really out of line there. Let's face it: Adam has never really liked Deana and Deana just wanted Luke S and Adam as bodies for her alliance.
Quite ironic that Luke is missing out on the dins cooked by the top chef and Deana's missing out on the Indian food. That seems exceptionally cruel.
Oh Deana, please leave Adam alone. Adam is right to nominate boring people. I'm going to vote to save Adam.
Luke S is so patronising! If you love Ashleigh (which you don't), accept her the way she is, warts and all. Don't try and educate her; she's beyond help. Oh my god. Do you think she likes it? At least Luke A, Adam and Deana got to have the leftovers.
Can't wait to see yappy go tomorrow, but just don't know who will go with her. I wish it could be Sara or Luke S. I'm worried it could be Adam. I was going to split my vote but I think I'm going to just give it to Adam. I think Deana will be safe, and Scott, whilst entertaining, doesn't deserve it. Too little too late.
Must nod. Ta-ta...
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Shite at the Museum
I've started listening to another Big Brother podcast now, Big Brother Couch Potatoes on Spreaker (which you can download a free app for) and it's quite decent. Not as good the Big Brother Gossip show, but again presented by a cynical American, which is always good, and they've had Lauren and Benedict on and stuff. Both shows are more entertaining than actual Big Brother, anyway and I can listen to them at work, and no one gets censored so it works for me. I'm so tired of hearing 'I'm only following orders' from Emma Willis.
My boyfriend has suggested a title for my blog: 'Shite at the Museum, Poo.' That's how low we've sunk.
This task is boring. Museums are boring. Tasks that involve making the contestants not allowed to speak seem somewhat redundant.
I'm trying to think of a play on 'exhibit'. I've got nothing. I've got less ideas than the BB producers.
Scott kind of suits the security guard outfit and the power going to his head.
Luke S's got some crabby little hands going on there. Do I like Luke S now? I don't know how I feel about anyone anymore, and I normally have quite fixed ideas about people, so I think that says something about how wishy washy these people are. I don't know who I want to win, or who I want to go. Once Ashleigh is removed, I don't really mind. I don't even mind seeing Luke S have a pop at it.
Adam and Ashleigh are having a 'how to read like a 3-year-old' competition. I think this task is even more dull than yesterday's show.
Oh there's a twist to it. It involves pyramids *illuminati*. Are BB in a deal with whoever makes onesies? They're almost as obsessed with them as they are with plugging the Queen. I suppose it's quite a funny twist. If I still cared. They did something like this before one series, but I can't remember what it was.
What the hell is an 'oxygen bar'? Does it involve drugs? I think it must be like that shisha thing. What's the point of smoking something unless you're going to get high? If I want a nice flavour, I'll eat some sweets. I don't even smoke and even I can work that one out.
Are Sara and Scott stupid for falling for this? I reckon.
No food fight will ever match Jedwards'. Therefore, might as well not bother.
Sara's on bollitics again. Postmen don't get paid a fortune! £8 an hour? Fucking hell, who does Sara model for, Everything £5? £8 an hour is not a good salary for getting up at 4am! I hope her postman starts nicking her mail.
'Who decides who gets paid what?' asks Sara. I think it's the Illuminati. I don't think bin men get 25K a year. Mine definitely don't deserve that; they're geriatric and walk along puffing on fags but can't lift my bin if it's got too much cat litter in it cos it hurts their backs. Boo woo.
I'd rather stand still for 15 hours than have to listen to 'play that funky music white boy'. Totem fools.
This whole episode is a made up storyline because there's no storylines in the house.
Would you ring Scott's sex line? Uh oh, don't anger the Sara! She must control everyone's every move. Maybe Scott will end up being in one of Benedict's pornos? Lauren's already got naked for Nuts.
They like winding Sara up. He's got a 2:1! Big wows. Every cunt's got a 2:1. And everyone I know who hasn't got a degree earns more than everyone I know who has.
Deana, when are you going to repay God for these favours? He'll only do so many housemate saves on tick before he sends Chris round to nick your TV.
PS: You will notice I basically went with my boyfriend's title. Not a good sign. Time for Banged Up Abroad.
My boyfriend has suggested a title for my blog: 'Shite at the Museum, Poo.' That's how low we've sunk.
This task is boring. Museums are boring. Tasks that involve making the contestants not allowed to speak seem somewhat redundant.
I'm trying to think of a play on 'exhibit'. I've got nothing. I've got less ideas than the BB producers.
Scott kind of suits the security guard outfit and the power going to his head.
Luke S's got some crabby little hands going on there. Do I like Luke S now? I don't know how I feel about anyone anymore, and I normally have quite fixed ideas about people, so I think that says something about how wishy washy these people are. I don't know who I want to win, or who I want to go. Once Ashleigh is removed, I don't really mind. I don't even mind seeing Luke S have a pop at it.
Adam and Ashleigh are having a 'how to read like a 3-year-old' competition. I think this task is even more dull than yesterday's show.
Oh there's a twist to it. It involves pyramids *illuminati*. Are BB in a deal with whoever makes onesies? They're almost as obsessed with them as they are with plugging the Queen. I suppose it's quite a funny twist. If I still cared. They did something like this before one series, but I can't remember what it was.
What the hell is an 'oxygen bar'? Does it involve drugs? I think it must be like that shisha thing. What's the point of smoking something unless you're going to get high? If I want a nice flavour, I'll eat some sweets. I don't even smoke and even I can work that one out.
Are Sara and Scott stupid for falling for this? I reckon.
No food fight will ever match Jedwards'. Therefore, might as well not bother.
Sara's on bollitics again. Postmen don't get paid a fortune! £8 an hour? Fucking hell, who does Sara model for, Everything £5? £8 an hour is not a good salary for getting up at 4am! I hope her postman starts nicking her mail.
'Who decides who gets paid what?' asks Sara. I think it's the Illuminati. I don't think bin men get 25K a year. Mine definitely don't deserve that; they're geriatric and walk along puffing on fags but can't lift my bin if it's got too much cat litter in it cos it hurts their backs. Boo woo.
I'd rather stand still for 15 hours than have to listen to 'play that funky music white boy'. Totem fools.
This whole episode is a made up storyline because there's no storylines in the house.
Would you ring Scott's sex line? Uh oh, don't anger the Sara! She must control everyone's every move. Maybe Scott will end up being in one of Benedict's pornos? Lauren's already got naked for Nuts.
They like winding Sara up. He's got a 2:1! Big wows. Every cunt's got a 2:1. And everyone I know who hasn't got a degree earns more than everyone I know who has.
Deana, when are you going to repay God for these favours? He'll only do so many housemate saves on tick before he sends Chris round to nick your TV.
PS: You will notice I basically went with my boyfriend's title. Not a good sign. Time for Banged Up Abroad.
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Big Brother 13: We're in the final?!
The final nom noms. Well, I already know who's up.
Deana's right; there IS still a battle; but she's the one poking at the war wound with a stick. Deana's gone from quiet and defeated to utterly obnoxious.
Is Deana muttering about nominations under her breath? Subtle. She's actually getting on MY nerves now. To be honest, I think her reasons for nominating Scott were fair comment, though. He can't enlist to the soldiers late. You sign up for that service early doors, you don't join a battle halfway through, especially not when that side is suddenly winning. That never looks good in the history books.
I don't think it's awful Scott nominated Sara. I think more people should have. Don't change, Scott! Oh, he changed it to Deana. Baa! That could be his undoing. That could see the end of him in that house.
I'm finding these nominations quite boring. I think it's because I'm finding the people left in the house quite boring. And I'm finding this show quite boring. And that in turn is making my blog quite boring. Why not go back and read some of the ones from when Benedict and Lydia were in the house? At least there was some humour then. Yes, BB, I'm blaming you for being a BAD MUSE.
The faux-secret task thing is too confusing for some of the lesser-moroned housemates, and seems somewhat pointless. It was quite funny that they pretended that BB made Scott say 'rapscallion': that was about it. Scott is loving the attention. Why is Deana having a go at him; it's hardly his fault if they gave him a secret task! Which they didn't. But anyway. Are you following this?
Is this Deana's 'real' personality coming out? I'm going off her a bit tonight. I can't find a favourite at all at the moment. I hate being all at sixes and sevens; I just want someone to love and champion. Now I feel like I'm going back into Adam and Luke A's camp. Adam and his argyle sock tattoos FTW? Or Luke A and his desperate quest for acceptance? Luke A's Acceptance Quest should be a computer game, with graphics a bit like that 'The Girl Who became three boys' show that was on Channel 4 tonight. The reconstructions were like watching The Sims. At first I felt the girls were quite stupid (which they were - who has a boyfriend that doesn't talk but only texts in person?) but that girl (in disguise) raped them, ffs. Nasty business. You couldn't make it up, as Richard Littlejohn would concur. I'm digressing, aren't I?
I thought that Scott task thing was a bit stupid, really. It's like a lie upon a lie but ultimately just a dead end, so what's the point? Feels like a bit of a metaphor for this series, really. I told someone at work today that someone had threatened to rape and beat a girl in the house and had been given 50K for his troubles, and he was just like 'what?!' On what planet does that happen? Channel 5 is operating in a different moral universe to the rest of us.
This party thing was zzz too. Buttocks! Wowee. Big Brother, you are killing my blog by giving me NOTHING to work with!
Sensitive Sara: 'we're in the final!' a million times after her friends all just got nominated. What a gal.
Even though Scott's never been up before I think he'd be safe if it was a single eviction. But with a double eviction; who knows? It could be BOO WOO time for him, and curtains up. Is this nearly over yet? I'm going to blog about something serious after CBB, you know. I'm going to blog about ALIENS. And stuff.
Deana's right; there IS still a battle; but she's the one poking at the war wound with a stick. Deana's gone from quiet and defeated to utterly obnoxious.
Is Deana muttering about nominations under her breath? Subtle. She's actually getting on MY nerves now. To be honest, I think her reasons for nominating Scott were fair comment, though. He can't enlist to the soldiers late. You sign up for that service early doors, you don't join a battle halfway through, especially not when that side is suddenly winning. That never looks good in the history books.
I don't think it's awful Scott nominated Sara. I think more people should have. Don't change, Scott! Oh, he changed it to Deana. Baa! That could be his undoing. That could see the end of him in that house.
I'm finding these nominations quite boring. I think it's because I'm finding the people left in the house quite boring. And I'm finding this show quite boring. And that in turn is making my blog quite boring. Why not go back and read some of the ones from when Benedict and Lydia were in the house? At least there was some humour then. Yes, BB, I'm blaming you for being a BAD MUSE.
The faux-secret task thing is too confusing for some of the lesser-moroned housemates, and seems somewhat pointless. It was quite funny that they pretended that BB made Scott say 'rapscallion': that was about it. Scott is loving the attention. Why is Deana having a go at him; it's hardly his fault if they gave him a secret task! Which they didn't. But anyway. Are you following this?
Is this Deana's 'real' personality coming out? I'm going off her a bit tonight. I can't find a favourite at all at the moment. I hate being all at sixes and sevens; I just want someone to love and champion. Now I feel like I'm going back into Adam and Luke A's camp. Adam and his argyle sock tattoos FTW? Or Luke A and his desperate quest for acceptance? Luke A's Acceptance Quest should be a computer game, with graphics a bit like that 'The Girl Who became three boys' show that was on Channel 4 tonight. The reconstructions were like watching The Sims. At first I felt the girls were quite stupid (which they were - who has a boyfriend that doesn't talk but only texts in person?) but that girl (in disguise) raped them, ffs. Nasty business. You couldn't make it up, as Richard Littlejohn would concur. I'm digressing, aren't I?
I thought that Scott task thing was a bit stupid, really. It's like a lie upon a lie but ultimately just a dead end, so what's the point? Feels like a bit of a metaphor for this series, really. I told someone at work today that someone had threatened to rape and beat a girl in the house and had been given 50K for his troubles, and he was just like 'what?!' On what planet does that happen? Channel 5 is operating in a different moral universe to the rest of us.
This party thing was zzz too. Buttocks! Wowee. Big Brother, you are killing my blog by giving me NOTHING to work with!
Sensitive Sara: 'we're in the final!' a million times after her friends all just got nominated. What a gal.
Even though Scott's never been up before I think he'd be safe if it was a single eviction. But with a double eviction; who knows? It could be BOO WOO time for him, and curtains up. Is this nearly over yet? I'm going to blog about something serious after CBB, you know. I'm going to blog about ALIENS. And stuff.
Monday, 6 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Disgusting, stupid little rat
Hello! You still with me? Come on, not long to go now, take my hand and it will all be alright. I like it when they show their audition videos. I don't know why they always look so embarrassed; they should just say 'we would all say anything to get in the house.' - end of discussion.
Shut up Luke A, defending Luke S. Who cares about his feelings?! He's doesn't have any. Deana did apologise, interspersed with cackling manically.
Why are they all living in filth in there? They need Benedict back to clean the shower! They never knew they had it so good. They've got nothing better to do in there, they might as well clean up, bloody animals.
Adam walks round permanatly smirking at everything. Deana: 'it's the toaster's fault, not mine.' Ashleigh: 'who's done this?' 'The toaster.' I love Deana telling Ashleigh to fuck off. About time. Ashleigh always tells a story incorrectly. Perhaps she has no powers of recollection or she's just a twisty little bugger.
Deana: 'you fucking shut up.' About time! Ashleigh hasn't really got anything to say back, has she? 'Disgusting, stupid little rat.' The words we've all been thinking for two months now. Spot on. Spot fucking on.
It's a bit rich Ashleigh going 'she doesn't know how to make toast,' when she doesn't know what a fucking egg is. Ashleigh preferred it when Deana knew her place. But Ashleigh hasn't got her back up anymore, and now chief chimp Conor has gone, Deana can come out of her shell, and she's not running scared anymore.
Adam is a bit wary of Deana, sometimes. Corporal Deana is letting her troops down by being a bit mentalz. But I still say good on her.
As soon as the word chocolate was mentioned, I immediately started shoveling some into my mouth. Good advertising.
I think for that task the mouth and nose are the best things to fill up with the chocolate fingers. Adam's: 'you want me to stick them up my nose, that's fucked up.' made me laugh. How can they possibly tell who won? They need an independent adjudicator.
Deana chose KFC for their meal - LOL. I would have so chosen that, too. Boneless banquet all the way (sorry, Moz). Adam comes off cool in his video, even though he's not very gangsta at all, he's a big teddy.
I though Deana's video was quite accurate. Luke A looks like a lot more fun in his entry video - I don't recall him playing many jokes.
Luke Scrace - lol! 'People might think I'm an arrogant prick.' True. Sara oversold herself. Scott's video was so arrogant! I like it, though.
Sensitive Luke S puts his foot in it again. Is Ashleigh wearing a bikini? She did look better blonde. Ashleigh liked the idea of Luke in his VT better. I think Luke S likes Ashleigh with her mouth shut better.
Sara looks good today. Oh Deana, shut up about being fat, it's so boring. Luke A has ALWAYS got an axe to grind with Luke S.
Deana's trying to get to the bottom of Luke S; trouble is, there's nothing to get to the bottom of because he's got all the depth of an empty saucer of milk.
I'm glad Scott is standing up to Ashleigh and he does have every right to change his mind. Ashleigh is just trying to push him into a corner but she had no power anymore now her chief bodyguards have gone.
Oh does Luke think Ashleigh's a loose woman now cos she said she hadn't had sex in three weeks in her video? Bloody hypocrite. She's had sex since, hasn't she?
These prayers kind of work, don't they? I think I might start believing in God. Dear God, can I get an iPad and a holiday and a bestseller?
Dear God, thanks for our KFC. HE doesn't decide, WE decide. Ish. Luke A: 'cheers dude' instead of 'amen'.
To be honest I think the soldiers are right to be wary of Scott, but he's probably a good ally for them at the moment.
Ashleigh and Luke S are bedding down like the filthy hamsters they are.
Is Luke A saying Luke S won't vote for him because he knows how often he's been saved? I wouldn't get ahead of yourself, sunshine. He'll be voting for you, never fear.
I feel like Scott is the only one NOT playing a game at the moment. Maybe he genuinely does just like everyone and isn't playing both sides. Maybe?
Shut up Luke A, defending Luke S. Who cares about his feelings?! He's doesn't have any. Deana did apologise, interspersed with cackling manically.
Why are they all living in filth in there? They need Benedict back to clean the shower! They never knew they had it so good. They've got nothing better to do in there, they might as well clean up, bloody animals.
Adam walks round permanatly smirking at everything. Deana: 'it's the toaster's fault, not mine.' Ashleigh: 'who's done this?' 'The toaster.' I love Deana telling Ashleigh to fuck off. About time. Ashleigh always tells a story incorrectly. Perhaps she has no powers of recollection or she's just a twisty little bugger.
Deana: 'you fucking shut up.' About time! Ashleigh hasn't really got anything to say back, has she? 'Disgusting, stupid little rat.' The words we've all been thinking for two months now. Spot on. Spot fucking on.
It's a bit rich Ashleigh going 'she doesn't know how to make toast,' when she doesn't know what a fucking egg is. Ashleigh preferred it when Deana knew her place. But Ashleigh hasn't got her back up anymore, and now chief chimp Conor has gone, Deana can come out of her shell, and she's not running scared anymore.
Adam is a bit wary of Deana, sometimes. Corporal Deana is letting her troops down by being a bit mentalz. But I still say good on her.
As soon as the word chocolate was mentioned, I immediately started shoveling some into my mouth. Good advertising.
I think for that task the mouth and nose are the best things to fill up with the chocolate fingers. Adam's: 'you want me to stick them up my nose, that's fucked up.' made me laugh. How can they possibly tell who won? They need an independent adjudicator.
Deana chose KFC for their meal - LOL. I would have so chosen that, too. Boneless banquet all the way (sorry, Moz). Adam comes off cool in his video, even though he's not very gangsta at all, he's a big teddy.
I though Deana's video was quite accurate. Luke A looks like a lot more fun in his entry video - I don't recall him playing many jokes.
Luke Scrace - lol! 'People might think I'm an arrogant prick.' True. Sara oversold herself. Scott's video was so arrogant! I like it, though.
Sensitive Luke S puts his foot in it again. Is Ashleigh wearing a bikini? She did look better blonde. Ashleigh liked the idea of Luke in his VT better. I think Luke S likes Ashleigh with her mouth shut better.
Sara looks good today. Oh Deana, shut up about being fat, it's so boring. Luke A has ALWAYS got an axe to grind with Luke S.
Deana's trying to get to the bottom of Luke S; trouble is, there's nothing to get to the bottom of because he's got all the depth of an empty saucer of milk.
I'm glad Scott is standing up to Ashleigh and he does have every right to change his mind. Ashleigh is just trying to push him into a corner but she had no power anymore now her chief bodyguards have gone.
Oh does Luke think Ashleigh's a loose woman now cos she said she hadn't had sex in three weeks in her video? Bloody hypocrite. She's had sex since, hasn't she?
These prayers kind of work, don't they? I think I might start believing in God. Dear God, can I get an iPad and a holiday and a bestseller?
Dear God, thanks for our KFC. HE doesn't decide, WE decide. Ish. Luke A: 'cheers dude' instead of 'amen'.
To be honest I think the soldiers are right to be wary of Scott, but he's probably a good ally for them at the moment.
Ashleigh and Luke S are bedding down like the filthy hamsters they are.
Is Luke A saying Luke S won't vote for him because he knows how often he's been saved? I wouldn't get ahead of yourself, sunshine. He'll be voting for you, never fear.
I feel like Scott is the only one NOT playing a game at the moment. Maybe he genuinely does just like everyone and isn't playing both sides. Maybe?
Sunday, 5 August 2012
Big Brother 13: You did press it, you were just too slow
I think Deana needs to keep her unbridled joy under check just a little bit. I would be happy if I was her, but she shouldn't look like she's boasting. Boast privately.
Luke S is 'happy to be in the final.' I'll be happy to see him kicked out first on final night. No, not first. Ashleigh first if she's still hanging round like a cold sore.
I find Luke A's desperation for 'acceptance' quite annoying. 'When will you accept yourself, for Heaven's sake?' as the great man once sang. Who gives a fuck what people think, 'it's your life, live it however you want to.' as everyone's favourite white rapper once said.
Scott's going a bit David Icke - don't mention atoms to Ashleigh, she'll probably think it's a nightclub.
Luke A 'feels good morally.' Sara: 'it's good you didn't press it.' HE DID FUCKING PRESS IT, YOU NUMPTY. He has no moral high ground whatsoever. He's lower than a snake. I think Sara might be thicker than Ashleigh. Deana's face was a picture, followed by: 'you did press it, you were just too slow.' I love the fact she's just saying it now. She really doesn't give a shit anymore, and that is glorious. She also somehow looks more beautiful, with this weight off her shoulders. She's definitely Queen Bee now.
Love Scott and Luke A speculating about Luke S's sexuality. That guy really can't catch a break right now. I hope Sara and Ashleigh are up this week, as they're both thick and horrid.
I've never seen Ashleigh wear those leggings before. How could you still have unworn clothes after two months?
You can tell from Deana's face she's done with Sara now. I hope she nominates her. Well, she's got to nominate either Scott, Ashleigh or Sara cos it's soldiers4life, innit? I really want Scott to get to the final.
This magic potion task is really funny. Is it safe to drink weird dry ice stuff? I didn't see Luke S saying he loved him! Deana's task was funny, too.
Luke S drank the 'I've lost 50 grand' potion. We never got to see what Ashleigh, Scott or Adam's potion was. Maybe Ashleigh's was an intelligence potion, therefore there was no footage to show.
How funny that Luke S had his bum cheeks out in the bath and Ashleigh didn't bat an eyelid. I don't think she even finds him physically attractive. I was agog.
I don't think Luke S is being any more cocky than usual; he's always been king cock. His best move would be to lie low and seem a bit beaten, in my opinion. A new low: Luke wearing pink sunglasses in the bath.
I have those skull glasses they're drinking out of! I swear they have a party ever night in that house.
Luke: 'I don't know if I'm keen on those wedges.' Who asked you, motherfucker? Why is he telling Ashleigh what to wear. I'd tell him to go fuck himself. I can't STAND blokes like that. I have a jumper my boyfriend particularly hates and I wear it with glee.
Luke is adding more fuel to his gay fire. Keep stoking it!
LOL, Dean's pissed as a fart. Her diatribe to Luke S was FUCKING HILARIOUS. Luke S's face. That was a PROPER rub in. Then halfway through she went sorry, and then started on him again. 'It's only a bit of banter' - I actually applauded at that. Luke S didn't have one word to say, just this fixed look as if he was trying very hard not to knock her block off.
Shit, someone needs to put Deana to bed, quick. She's telling the truth and people don't like it. Adam should just go to Luke S, 'ignore her, she's drunk.'
Soldiers: put Deana to bed, for fuck's sake. She's just being drunk and argumentative; we all get like that sometimes. Everyone says stupid things when they're drunk, she just happened to say some very funny things, too.
Luke S in the diary room: BOO WOO. I love the fact they keep cutting to Deana giggling hysterically like a madwoman. LOL Deana made Luke S cry. I was proper cackling along with Deana. She should get drunk more often. It's kind of ironic that even though the horrible Conor has gone with half the cash, it's almost been worth it to see the others so free and unleashed. That was one of the funniest episodes I've seen so far. Deana FTW.
Luke S is 'happy to be in the final.' I'll be happy to see him kicked out first on final night. No, not first. Ashleigh first if she's still hanging round like a cold sore.
I find Luke A's desperation for 'acceptance' quite annoying. 'When will you accept yourself, for Heaven's sake?' as the great man once sang. Who gives a fuck what people think, 'it's your life, live it however you want to.' as everyone's favourite white rapper once said.
Scott's going a bit David Icke - don't mention atoms to Ashleigh, she'll probably think it's a nightclub.
Luke A 'feels good morally.' Sara: 'it's good you didn't press it.' HE DID FUCKING PRESS IT, YOU NUMPTY. He has no moral high ground whatsoever. He's lower than a snake. I think Sara might be thicker than Ashleigh. Deana's face was a picture, followed by: 'you did press it, you were just too slow.' I love the fact she's just saying it now. She really doesn't give a shit anymore, and that is glorious. She also somehow looks more beautiful, with this weight off her shoulders. She's definitely Queen Bee now.
Love Scott and Luke A speculating about Luke S's sexuality. That guy really can't catch a break right now. I hope Sara and Ashleigh are up this week, as they're both thick and horrid.
I've never seen Ashleigh wear those leggings before. How could you still have unworn clothes after two months?
You can tell from Deana's face she's done with Sara now. I hope she nominates her. Well, she's got to nominate either Scott, Ashleigh or Sara cos it's soldiers4life, innit? I really want Scott to get to the final.
This magic potion task is really funny. Is it safe to drink weird dry ice stuff? I didn't see Luke S saying he loved him! Deana's task was funny, too.
Luke S drank the 'I've lost 50 grand' potion. We never got to see what Ashleigh, Scott or Adam's potion was. Maybe Ashleigh's was an intelligence potion, therefore there was no footage to show.
How funny that Luke S had his bum cheeks out in the bath and Ashleigh didn't bat an eyelid. I don't think she even finds him physically attractive. I was agog.
I don't think Luke S is being any more cocky than usual; he's always been king cock. His best move would be to lie low and seem a bit beaten, in my opinion. A new low: Luke wearing pink sunglasses in the bath.
I have those skull glasses they're drinking out of! I swear they have a party ever night in that house.
Luke: 'I don't know if I'm keen on those wedges.' Who asked you, motherfucker? Why is he telling Ashleigh what to wear. I'd tell him to go fuck himself. I can't STAND blokes like that. I have a jumper my boyfriend particularly hates and I wear it with glee.
Luke is adding more fuel to his gay fire. Keep stoking it!
LOL, Dean's pissed as a fart. Her diatribe to Luke S was FUCKING HILARIOUS. Luke S's face. That was a PROPER rub in. Then halfway through she went sorry, and then started on him again. 'It's only a bit of banter' - I actually applauded at that. Luke S didn't have one word to say, just this fixed look as if he was trying very hard not to knock her block off.
Shit, someone needs to put Deana to bed, quick. She's telling the truth and people don't like it. Adam should just go to Luke S, 'ignore her, she's drunk.'
Soldiers: put Deana to bed, for fuck's sake. She's just being drunk and argumentative; we all get like that sometimes. Everyone says stupid things when they're drunk, she just happened to say some very funny things, too.
Luke S in the diary room: BOO WOO. I love the fact they keep cutting to Deana giggling hysterically like a madwoman. LOL Deana made Luke S cry. I was proper cackling along with Deana. She should get drunk more often. It's kind of ironic that even though the horrible Conor has gone with half the cash, it's almost been worth it to see the others so free and unleashed. That was one of the funniest episodes I've seen so far. Deana FTW.
Saturday, 4 August 2012
Big Brother 13: Why am I crying?
I have an announcement to make: this planet is populated with scumbags. The amount of abuse Benedict has been getting on Twitter for saying THE TRUTH about the vile Conor. I wrote a few back and I've had girls calling think a thick, ugly slut. I find it quite amusing because you can own them by simply spelling a sentence right, but they are giving Benedict serious death threats. It's not acceptable. And it's also scary how anyone can defend that man - I would have thought even his own mother would be ashamed of him.
'It's just about getting to the final for me,' says Conor - cut to Conor walking out the door with a briefcase full of cash.
WOW to Deana sticking it to Becky. A little bit of context for that argument would have been nice.
I love seeing Becky all indignant - FOR THE LAST TIME before they have to winch the wall off and crane her out of there. 'Nothing she'd change about herself' - fucking hell, I'd have a list of about a million.
Deana is acting a little wacky today. I think I like it. Ashleigh, it doesn't matter what you wear, you'll still be a ratty, scabby waste of oxygen. PS: that dress looks gross.
Big Brother: 'Would you like Conor and Luke to stay in the white room forever?' Luke: 'Forever's a long time, but yes.' LOL.
Conor: 'if I won the show, I wouldn't give a fuck about the money.' Conor's doing a serious hard-sell on Luke S, a bit of strong game play there, 'you're more likely to win than me'.
Ashleigh thinks she can leave with her 'head held high'. Only if it's got a bag over it.
I like the way the soldiers cuddled when waiting for the eviction results. They're real friends, who really care. Everyone else is only out for themselves.
Becky will 'literally' never forget being in the house. Hopefully in time I'll literally forget she existed.
The soldiers are gloating a bit, but I don't blame them. Again, Ashleigh is saved, though? How come?
Quite sweet watching this button bullshit again. My boyfriend was right: Luke had his hands behind his back Family Fortunes style, he wasn't primed and ready to go. It was greed that was his undoing; if he'd just pressed it a second earlier. Conor was seriously sly there.
Why did they tell them they have one minute to take the money. It's obvious to leave it until the last minute.
That was DELICIOUS seeing how close the button press was. 'What about Ashleigh?' What about her? Luke's face when he realised was just brilliant. You leave with NOTHING. I could watch that on a loop for an hour. 'I would have split the money' - bit late to make that deal now. Luke; you leave with NOTHING.
Luke is SO angry. Sobbing like a baby. Why is Ashleigh so happy for Conor? Misjudged, much?
I want to feel sorry for Luke S but I'm laughing too hard. It's not the first time he's been humiliated in that house; and probably wont be the last.
Everyone seemed happy to see Conor leave; shame we had to pay him off first.Yeah take the blood money and fuck off, you hateful prick.
Was Adam even laughing at Luke? There was no camera on him to tell. Deana: 'if I was you I'd be crying right now.' Rub it in, girl!
Scott sussed what was going on straight away. Will Luke S get a few sympathy votes this week?
'What's the house going to be like without Becky and Conor?' Better.
Luke S, you'll always be remembered as a no.1 loser. Conor virtually disowned Luke S's friendship the second he left the house.
Luke S: 'why am I crying?' Because you got played. Because you got fucked over and your ego got hurt.
Everyone saying 'I would/ wouldn't have taken the money' is crap, everyone would have taken that fucking money. I don't blame Conor for taking the money and stabbing Luke in the back. That just showed that everything we knew about him was true. I resent the Big Brother producers for allowing it to happen - it's not just morally wrong, it's virtually corrupt.
I love Deana telling Luke S to cry. CRY CRY CRY.
Scott has got this situation sussed. Love the soldiers rubbing it in. Deana is enjoying this SO MUCH. Luke looks like he's just been through the wars and back. I think he might need some post-traumatic counselling.
I'm surprised the other housemates arent more pissed off about Con-man taking the money. Do you think they're packing Conor's suitcase nicely or not nicely? I'd pack it Banged Up Abroad style.
The pecking order in that house is really going to change now. Luke is defeated. Deana is powerful. She deserves her moment to revel in this, although it's still not fair Conor got that £££.
At work when we're bitching about someone in the kitchen and they walk into the room we have a secret code phrase to change the subject. These guys should work on that.
Loved the little montage of Luke S pacing around at the end. They really have treated him like the bellend he is since he walked in that door. Oddly, they've treated Conor as if he's the second coming.
The saddest thing, though, was seeing Conor walking out of that house with a smile on his face, happy as as a pig in shit. I hope he gets robbed on the way home. Whatever: I just don't want to look at his fucking ugly face ever again. And I hope Deana sues BB when she gets out for jeapordising her health and safety. And I hope some other things that are probably unprintable on Blogger.
'It's just about getting to the final for me,' says Conor - cut to Conor walking out the door with a briefcase full of cash.
WOW to Deana sticking it to Becky. A little bit of context for that argument would have been nice.
I love seeing Becky all indignant - FOR THE LAST TIME before they have to winch the wall off and crane her out of there. 'Nothing she'd change about herself' - fucking hell, I'd have a list of about a million.
Deana is acting a little wacky today. I think I like it. Ashleigh, it doesn't matter what you wear, you'll still be a ratty, scabby waste of oxygen. PS: that dress looks gross.
Big Brother: 'Would you like Conor and Luke to stay in the white room forever?' Luke: 'Forever's a long time, but yes.' LOL.
Conor: 'if I won the show, I wouldn't give a fuck about the money.' Conor's doing a serious hard-sell on Luke S, a bit of strong game play there, 'you're more likely to win than me'.
Ashleigh thinks she can leave with her 'head held high'. Only if it's got a bag over it.
I like the way the soldiers cuddled when waiting for the eviction results. They're real friends, who really care. Everyone else is only out for themselves.
Becky will 'literally' never forget being in the house. Hopefully in time I'll literally forget she existed.
The soldiers are gloating a bit, but I don't blame them. Again, Ashleigh is saved, though? How come?
Quite sweet watching this button bullshit again. My boyfriend was right: Luke had his hands behind his back Family Fortunes style, he wasn't primed and ready to go. It was greed that was his undoing; if he'd just pressed it a second earlier. Conor was seriously sly there.
Why did they tell them they have one minute to take the money. It's obvious to leave it until the last minute.
That was DELICIOUS seeing how close the button press was. 'What about Ashleigh?' What about her? Luke's face when he realised was just brilliant. You leave with NOTHING. I could watch that on a loop for an hour. 'I would have split the money' - bit late to make that deal now. Luke; you leave with NOTHING.
Luke is SO angry. Sobbing like a baby. Why is Ashleigh so happy for Conor? Misjudged, much?
I want to feel sorry for Luke S but I'm laughing too hard. It's not the first time he's been humiliated in that house; and probably wont be the last.
Everyone seemed happy to see Conor leave; shame we had to pay him off first.Yeah take the blood money and fuck off, you hateful prick.
Was Adam even laughing at Luke? There was no camera on him to tell. Deana: 'if I was you I'd be crying right now.' Rub it in, girl!
Scott sussed what was going on straight away. Will Luke S get a few sympathy votes this week?
'What's the house going to be like without Becky and Conor?' Better.
Luke S, you'll always be remembered as a no.1 loser. Conor virtually disowned Luke S's friendship the second he left the house.
Luke S: 'why am I crying?' Because you got played. Because you got fucked over and your ego got hurt.
Everyone saying 'I would/ wouldn't have taken the money' is crap, everyone would have taken that fucking money. I don't blame Conor for taking the money and stabbing Luke in the back. That just showed that everything we knew about him was true. I resent the Big Brother producers for allowing it to happen - it's not just morally wrong, it's virtually corrupt.
I love Deana telling Luke S to cry. CRY CRY CRY.
Scott has got this situation sussed. Love the soldiers rubbing it in. Deana is enjoying this SO MUCH. Luke looks like he's just been through the wars and back. I think he might need some post-traumatic counselling.
I'm surprised the other housemates arent more pissed off about Con-man taking the money. Do you think they're packing Conor's suitcase nicely or not nicely? I'd pack it Banged Up Abroad style.
The pecking order in that house is really going to change now. Luke is defeated. Deana is powerful. She deserves her moment to revel in this, although it's still not fair Conor got that £££.
At work when we're bitching about someone in the kitchen and they walk into the room we have a secret code phrase to change the subject. These guys should work on that.
Loved the little montage of Luke S pacing around at the end. They really have treated him like the bellend he is since he walked in that door. Oddly, they've treated Conor as if he's the second coming.
The saddest thing, though, was seeing Conor walking out of that house with a smile on his face, happy as as a pig in shit. I hope he gets robbed on the way home. Whatever: I just don't want to look at his fucking ugly face ever again. And I hope Deana sues BB when she gets out for jeapordising her health and safety. And I hope some other things that are probably unprintable on Blogger.
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