Monday 26 July 2010

Big Brother 11: If you want to live, get in the bedroom

Just spoke to my BF and she said 'I hate everyone in Big Brother. All of them.' 'What about Ben?' I asked. 'All of them.' she replied. 'But especially that new blonde one.'
I can't disagree, I am feeling everything from mild dislike to all out hatred for them too. We need a people's prince/ss.
Mario is BITTAH. I don't blame Ben for ditching Rachel. She's awful!
JJ wants to win anything, no matter what it is. World's biggest prick competition? Oh no, that's gone to old crab eyes. But at least he's handsome.
Rachel is coming off like a bunny boiler! There's less sexual chemistry between her and Ben than Ben and Dave.
24 task! Look at the tree's sparkly knobs! Fancy! Andrew is no Jack Bauer. Andrew enjoyed shouting at people! He likes swearing it up.
Dave pronounces tooth like we do at lightupvirginmary towers. TUTH! Andrew is good at this task. OMG this made me cry with laughter. Andrew is scary when he's angry! He's just freestyling the 'hands on your heads' stuff.
My respect for Andrew just went up a millionfold. 'That felt amazing!' LOL.
What is with Dave? Why is he stirring! It was clear what Ben said was a joke. Ben, why are you even bothering with Rachel? She's just a mouth unattached to a brain. Rachel, you're not his girlfriend. Is he not allowed to speak to a new person?
Dave saying Ben was 'on her like a cheap suit'. Gross.
JJ is NOT good looking. He looks like a confused chipmunk. Or 'like Toby Anstis infused with acorn DNA' ?! according to my boyfriend. He should write this shit, not me.
Rachel is so unendingly thick that if you gave her a book to read, she's probably try and eat it.
Andrew in the diary room! OUTSIDE PEOPLE! I give up. Do you think Andrew was enjoying that?! I think he needed a cold shower. Is he going to go jerk off?
Star jump tyranny! Andrew is a sadistic little fucker.
JJ and John James's 'friendship' is just a self-appreciation society. It's like wanking off in front of a mirror, like Jason from Nadia's year in BB admitted to once (vomit). It's tedious.
JJ: 'I didn't expect anyone to fancy me'. I'm not surprised with that munchkin mush.
Corin... don't you have a girlfriend? Naughty.

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