Monday, 12 July 2010

Big Brother 11: Crabby Creek

Crab eyes! If I hear the words 'crab eyes' one more time I'm going to slice John James into crab sticks. Not that crab sticks have crab in them. What sort of insult is crab eyes anyway? It makes no sense. It's like something a five-year-old would say.
Aw, Andrew has a crush on Josie. Josie is the femme fatale in that house. Who'd have thought it? Andrew, they only like you because you're new, they're not actually going to get off with you.
Crab eyes count: 8
Josie is being HARD! I can't freeze people out like that, I just give up and go 'oh alright then' after ten minutes. I don't blame her though. It's hard because they're BOTH in the wrong in some ways. I know something; I don't want to hear about it all show.
Andrew shouldn't be able to talk about what the others look like on TV! I don't like it. The new housemates have unsettled her and now she's got the hump.
Oh Josie LEAVE IT OUT. You wouldn't let it lie. She's getting worse than John James for harping on about the same fucking thing. I wouldn't be surprised if she gets a few nominations after this, she's being an absolute tool.
John James bawling in the diary room! He's going to make her PAY for this shit. Do you know what, maybe he'll learn his lesson this time.
God gave Dave his virginity back. It's literally a miracle that more than one woman slept with him.
Josie is acting like Kevin the teenager. I can see why she's got her hood up. It's pathetic everyone intervening. I'd like to bang both their heads together.
I don't like hearing girls use the word pussy pejoratively, it makes me feel ashamed to be female.
John's packing up his old kit bag and checking the camera is watching. Just like when my boyfriend has a row with me and buggers off. Except he can't anymore. Cos he lives here! LOL.
Mario: 'you're not going are you?' as John James packs his bags. I like the way Mario uses everyone's vulnerability as an excuse for a quick perv. Bright Eyes wrote a song about this very conversation that said: 'Always so eager to pack my bags... when I really want to stay.' John is crying because he's lost his power over Josie. I like seeing a grown man cry. It's sexy.
Never has a truer word been spoken than Ben saying, 'John James can give it out but can't take it.'
John James manipulating Josie from the diary room! And she KNOWS it!
Josie is dealing with this situation SO badly. You can't laugh at John James, he will stab you in your sleep. Or pincer you.
Why can't she just back down and give him a fucking cuddle?
Big Brother is manipulating this situation quite well, making them have a giggle in the diary room. It's like they are the mummy tricking them into liking each other again.
Oh they're arguing again. Josie doesn't seem bothered if he goes. I reckon she'll nominate him tomorrow. I'd like to see a John James/ Josie head-to-head. I reckon old crab eyes would have it. Josie is showing a very unpleasant side to her personality. And the thing that tipped her over the edge was that chin comment. Girls do not like having their chins commented on! Believe me, I know.
NB to John James: a really good way to make people call you crab eyes for the rest of your life is to throw a tantrum about it that lasts 48 hours. I'm making my crab eyes banner as we speak.

2 comments:

john.x.james said...

But what are "crab eyes"? Surely they involve some sort of stalks? I've watch Spongebob.....

"HGFC"

lightupvirginmary said...

it's what krabby patties are made of!