Hi! What gave Sam the impression that Littlejohn was his closest friend in the house? either way,he played a blinder with all the tears and histrionics.
John James simply 'got caught up talking about that situation in the shower.' Not in any way was he the instigator. Oh, no.
John James actually seemed quite genuine with that apology. The operative word is still surely 'seemed'.
Wow, this is a really boring episode of BB, there's fuck all to say about it.
Dear Jo: it's a foregone conclusion, not a full-blown conclusion. Now go pack your bag.
LOL to Josie saying she's like a sack of spuds in bed! I thought John James didn't like blowjobs?
I really want to see JJ crack and drop this pathetic nice guy act he's barely keeping up right now. I want him to show his teeth.
They didn't argue too much about choosing Josie to get to the final, did they?
John James actually looks LIVID. The camera man is having a field day zooming on on the crab zone.
Steve looked thrilled to be going home in 11 days. Can you see him in the all stars house? I don't think he'd be into it in the slightest.
John James bitching about Corin when really he's mad about something else.
The only housemates who would be worth going in all stars are John james, Josie or Sam.
Josie seemed very genuine in the diary room, showing her gratitude. I think we would have seen a much better Josie in that house if it wasn't for the crab tyranny.
Four to go on Friday? Should be a vote to save. I can see John James leaving. Which is fine, but god knows what else we'll be left with.
Showing posts with label Jo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jo. Show all posts
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Big Brother 11: You're missing highlight show action right here
I'm a bit mash up, and it's 2am so god knows how this will turn out. I don't know who got evicted! Let it be Dave. Let it not be Sam.
Hate crab eyes? Keep Sam in. Give them all a shock.
Who are all these blonde people in the eviction crowd? It's like Nazi Germany.
Look at JJ's sparkly scarf! Ooh, isn't he dishy? NO HE'S A NUMPTY. I've seen potatoes with more personality. He should have got himself for something beginning with B: BELL END.
I was glad Corin got herself in ISpy, I doubt if I would have been so literal.
That task was silly but cute.
Why is Sam all flushed? Uh oh, John James is in trubs. Josie has got BEEF. Sam: 'you're missing this over here, highlight show action?' LOL then pointing out the fire exits!
Sam needling Josie when she's fuming anyway! Loves it.
OOH CRAB EYES IS ANGRY! Back off laydeez. There could be a misogyny moment coming on. She definitely DID give him an angry face.
Josie looks cool with those glasses on. Sam Pepper: marriage guidance counsellor.
Wack off? John James has forgotten how to say 'rack off'. He needs to brush up on his Home & Away.
Crab eyes are blazing!!! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS A PRIVATE MATTER. John James is going to whack Sam one. Sam's back on form tonight.
Josie don't make John James scuttle away sideways. He REALLY LOVES YOU. He's not just a manipulative cunt.
My boyfriend just called John James 'a nasty piece of itemary.'
They are not showing Dave or Jo at ALL! This makes me worried.
John James: 'Sam's not very smart.' Incorrect.
Why has John James got his cap on in the shower! Why are they all having a shower together? WTF. Something's not right.
Sam: 'fuck fight night this is Armageddon'. You'd better back that up. Since when was crab eyes the only person Sam could trust? He needs to rethink his relationships.
JOHN YOU'RE IN THE WRONG! STOP SHOUTING! Ooh, this is good. Come on Sam, squeeze those tears out. This is great for you.
Fucking boyfriend just made me pause this FOUR MINUTES before the end whilst he prattled off to the toilet and to make a drink. Is he having a laugh?
I want to use John James. For crab sticks. Josie looked scared when she was being nice to Sam and the door opened, like John James was going to come in and smack her one.
Dave's wearing his greet t-shirt I see! Maybe they took the rest of his clothes off him. That's the only explanation I can think of.
2nd show. Hold up! Someone's getting a free pass to the final? I wonder who that will be? *crab eyes* Urgh, the housemates choose! Bet they choose Steve. Steve'll take that fucker too.
Urgh: look at JJ's sweaty head. He makes Stuart and Dale (Stale t.m.) from years gone by look charismatic. I'll take the potato. Jo evicted. It didn't bode well for her when her odds were 200/1 earlier. Plus she's black. And a woman.
I like Jo's dress! they've all scrubbed up well for evictions lately.
Cliche count! Start the clock. 'It's all good. The penny dropped. It is what it is at the end of the day.' (brilliant!) 'Strings to his bow.
The difference between her with her make-up on and off is quite extreme! I need that make up.
Yeah we get it, you're pissed off with Corin. Zzz. Hormone treatment? Is she a tranny? Oh my boyfriend said it's probably HRT.
Cougar is about as offensive a term for women as WAG. It's certainly not something to style yourself on.
Goodbye messages to Jo. 'No one comes between me and my man!' Ooh, sorry, wrong show.
Sam's goodbye message was special. He did a spastic face and said 'lots of love'. Sweet.
Jo on Sam and Andrew; 'social services!'
What IS Davina wearing? Sorry, a little late to be wondering that, but still.
CRAB EYES! Shifty. Telling Davina what's what on her own show.John James looks sinister tonight. He's giving it the Tom Cruise fake smile! Oh nice when they chose Josie and she got a big cheer. Fuck Steve. John James and Steve both look bitter behind the fake smile.
No one looked shocked about the All Stars! Corin was hamming it up too much.
They are ALL UP NEXT WEEK. FOR FUCKS SAKE LETS GET DAVE OUT. Come on folks. You can do it. Please dial carefully. Love you.
Hate crab eyes? Keep Sam in. Give them all a shock.
Who are all these blonde people in the eviction crowd? It's like Nazi Germany.
Look at JJ's sparkly scarf! Ooh, isn't he dishy? NO HE'S A NUMPTY. I've seen potatoes with more personality. He should have got himself for something beginning with B: BELL END.
I was glad Corin got herself in ISpy, I doubt if I would have been so literal.
That task was silly but cute.
Why is Sam all flushed? Uh oh, John James is in trubs. Josie has got BEEF. Sam: 'you're missing this over here, highlight show action?' LOL then pointing out the fire exits!
Sam needling Josie when she's fuming anyway! Loves it.
OOH CRAB EYES IS ANGRY! Back off laydeez. There could be a misogyny moment coming on. She definitely DID give him an angry face.
Josie looks cool with those glasses on. Sam Pepper: marriage guidance counsellor.
Wack off? John James has forgotten how to say 'rack off'. He needs to brush up on his Home & Away.
Crab eyes are blazing!!! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS A PRIVATE MATTER. John James is going to whack Sam one. Sam's back on form tonight.
Josie don't make John James scuttle away sideways. He REALLY LOVES YOU. He's not just a manipulative cunt.
My boyfriend just called John James 'a nasty piece of itemary.'
They are not showing Dave or Jo at ALL! This makes me worried.
John James: 'Sam's not very smart.' Incorrect.
Why has John James got his cap on in the shower! Why are they all having a shower together? WTF. Something's not right.
Sam: 'fuck fight night this is Armageddon'. You'd better back that up. Since when was crab eyes the only person Sam could trust? He needs to rethink his relationships.
JOHN YOU'RE IN THE WRONG! STOP SHOUTING! Ooh, this is good. Come on Sam, squeeze those tears out. This is great for you.
Fucking boyfriend just made me pause this FOUR MINUTES before the end whilst he prattled off to the toilet and to make a drink. Is he having a laugh?
I want to use John James. For crab sticks. Josie looked scared when she was being nice to Sam and the door opened, like John James was going to come in and smack her one.
Dave's wearing his greet t-shirt I see! Maybe they took the rest of his clothes off him. That's the only explanation I can think of.
2nd show. Hold up! Someone's getting a free pass to the final? I wonder who that will be? *crab eyes* Urgh, the housemates choose! Bet they choose Steve. Steve'll take that fucker too.
Urgh: look at JJ's sweaty head. He makes Stuart and Dale (Stale t.m.) from years gone by look charismatic. I'll take the potato. Jo evicted. It didn't bode well for her when her odds were 200/1 earlier. Plus she's black. And a woman.
I like Jo's dress! they've all scrubbed up well for evictions lately.
Cliche count! Start the clock. 'It's all good. The penny dropped. It is what it is at the end of the day.' (brilliant!) 'Strings to his bow.
The difference between her with her make-up on and off is quite extreme! I need that make up.
Yeah we get it, you're pissed off with Corin. Zzz. Hormone treatment? Is she a tranny? Oh my boyfriend said it's probably HRT.
Cougar is about as offensive a term for women as WAG. It's certainly not something to style yourself on.
Goodbye messages to Jo. 'No one comes between me and my man!' Ooh, sorry, wrong show.
Sam's goodbye message was special. He did a spastic face and said 'lots of love'. Sweet.
Jo on Sam and Andrew; 'social services!'
What IS Davina wearing? Sorry, a little late to be wondering that, but still.
CRAB EYES! Shifty. Telling Davina what's what on her own show.John James looks sinister tonight. He's giving it the Tom Cruise fake smile! Oh nice when they chose Josie and she got a big cheer. Fuck Steve. John James and Steve both look bitter behind the fake smile.
No one looked shocked about the All Stars! Corin was hamming it up too much.
They are ALL UP NEXT WEEK. FOR FUCKS SAKE LETS GET DAVE OUT. Come on folks. You can do it. Please dial carefully. Love you.
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Big Brother 11: There's a fucking cow in it
One minute after waking up they're arguing. Happy days!
I couldn't give two fucks about this horse task. Tasks should last one day only.
Oh dear, Sam's getting shafted with this edit so far. Dave is losing it today. I hope he does knock someone out and then gets kicked out soon after.
John James (not) leaping to Josie's defence again. Lovely.
Advert: Sienna Miller: what a cunt.
This horse task BLOWS.
Mario... rear end joke... oh, I can't be bothered.
'Sammy, you dingus'. Ooh, brand new Oz vernacular from crab eyes.
RESPECT to Josie forgetting Sam full in the face during sauce-gate. Then hitting him with a broom! LOL.
This horse-play can't match the open top bus shenanigans with village idiots Dave and Lisa last year.
Mario looks BITTER he didn't get to go chew that cud at the pantomime horse trials (does such a thing even exist? It sounds like flim flam to me)
If I was Josie I would have bashed Sam's face in by now, make no mistake. But I still want him in the house.
What is Dave drivelling on about about Josie? She's not exactly the second coming.
JJ and John: I think they liked the intimacy of being in that horse suit. 'You fucking beauty'. LOL.
I've gone off Sam a bit again today, he's being SO annoying.
Corin: 'you can't want what you can't have.' Incorrect. I want EVERYTHING I can't have (then I never want it again).
Aw to John James and Josie pining over each other when they came back, it seemed almost genuine.
Why was the pantomime cow in that race if he couldn't win it?! That task was dead fishy. Mammally.
Hat-gate. The other housemates were actually quite funny when they joined in the hat(e) song.
Sam's had four coffees and gone mental. Give him a pack of Haribo and he'll start gurning. Don't hide in the clothes horse, laddie. Mind you, it is a-p-t.
I couldn't give two fucks about this horse task. Tasks should last one day only.
Oh dear, Sam's getting shafted with this edit so far. Dave is losing it today. I hope he does knock someone out and then gets kicked out soon after.
John James (not) leaping to Josie's defence again. Lovely.
Advert: Sienna Miller: what a cunt.
This horse task BLOWS.
Mario... rear end joke... oh, I can't be bothered.
'Sammy, you dingus'. Ooh, brand new Oz vernacular from crab eyes.
RESPECT to Josie forgetting Sam full in the face during sauce-gate. Then hitting him with a broom! LOL.
This horse-play can't match the open top bus shenanigans with village idiots Dave and Lisa last year.
Mario looks BITTER he didn't get to go chew that cud at the pantomime horse trials (does such a thing even exist? It sounds like flim flam to me)
If I was Josie I would have bashed Sam's face in by now, make no mistake. But I still want him in the house.
What is Dave drivelling on about about Josie? She's not exactly the second coming.
JJ and John: I think they liked the intimacy of being in that horse suit. 'You fucking beauty'. LOL.
I've gone off Sam a bit again today, he's being SO annoying.
Corin: 'you can't want what you can't have.' Incorrect. I want EVERYTHING I can't have (then I never want it again).
Aw to John James and Josie pining over each other when they came back, it seemed almost genuine.
Why was the pantomime cow in that race if he couldn't win it?! That task was dead fishy. Mammally.
Hat-gate. The other housemates were actually quite funny when they joined in the hat(e) song.
Sam's had four coffees and gone mental. Give him a pack of Haribo and he'll start gurning. Don't hide in the clothes horse, laddie. Mind you, it is a-p-t.
Wednesday, 11 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Martyr-dumb
Dave and Jo: everyone hates you. Just walk, the pair of you, get in the pantomime horse suit and gallop down them steps. Jo: 'know your place'. Sam: 'moany bitch'.
Jo, what have you actually brought to the house? Face-ache, that's about it.
JUST LEAVE DAVE, THE DOOR IS OPEN! Fuck me, is this all they've got for us tonight.
Josie and John James both look cute today; but I have drunk half a bottle of wine.
Sam Pepper playing the martyr in the diary room! Loves it. Keep him in.
Jo, can anyone say NEEDY? She's one needy psychotic bitch.
Corin on bumblebees: 'that one was the size of a horse.' The more Jo slags off Corin, the more I like Corin. Jo, you are digging your own grave here. Let me get a spade and give you a hand. Do you get me?
The torrent of hypocritical bullshit that comes out of John James's mouth is unreal. Everything John James says about Corin is just the bad parts of himself projecting.
Brie of temptation! I know someone who'd like this task: Lord Alex James, of course.
What's JJ and John James's horse called? Mr. Gaylord?
How can Josie and Jo weigh 25 stone? They can't be 12 and a half stone each. Sam and Corin are a match made in equine heaven. Nice horse name. Kolsek the Butcher aint bad either.
I like the fact Sam was eating that cheese before he rubbed it on himself. Delightful. Sam is actually a little cutie. So hope he stays this week.
Horse race task: zzzz.
Nice of Sam to read that letter in the style of a child.
Mario: 'I miss Ben.' You should have been nicer to him then!
Sad to see Josie bending to the John James and JJ hate mob. Still, it would be inevitable after a while, the way old crab eyes harps on.
Quorn sausages? Is Sam a veggie? Another reason to keep him in. It's what Morrissey would want.
Jo, what have you actually brought to the house? Face-ache, that's about it.
JUST LEAVE DAVE, THE DOOR IS OPEN! Fuck me, is this all they've got for us tonight.
Josie and John James both look cute today; but I have drunk half a bottle of wine.
Sam Pepper playing the martyr in the diary room! Loves it. Keep him in.
Jo, can anyone say NEEDY? She's one needy psychotic bitch.
Corin on bumblebees: 'that one was the size of a horse.' The more Jo slags off Corin, the more I like Corin. Jo, you are digging your own grave here. Let me get a spade and give you a hand. Do you get me?
The torrent of hypocritical bullshit that comes out of John James's mouth is unreal. Everything John James says about Corin is just the bad parts of himself projecting.
Brie of temptation! I know someone who'd like this task: Lord Alex James, of course.
What's JJ and John James's horse called? Mr. Gaylord?
How can Josie and Jo weigh 25 stone? They can't be 12 and a half stone each. Sam and Corin are a match made in equine heaven. Nice horse name. Kolsek the Butcher aint bad either.
I like the fact Sam was eating that cheese before he rubbed it on himself. Delightful. Sam is actually a little cutie. So hope he stays this week.
Horse race task: zzzz.
Nice of Sam to read that letter in the style of a child.
Mario: 'I miss Ben.' You should have been nicer to him then!
Sad to see Josie bending to the John James and JJ hate mob. Still, it would be inevitable after a while, the way old crab eyes harps on.
Quorn sausages? Is Sam a veggie? Another reason to keep him in. It's what Morrissey would want.
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Gunge-on Master
I've managed to avoid the nomination result, and what with Twitter, Facebook and other things hi-tech idiots rely on, it's been as hard as trying to avoid arseholes in London,
So will it change their nominations them having to do them in public (via a gunking)? I say yes. Wassup with Andrew? Doesn't wanna gunk Steve, methinks.
Dave STILL DOESN'T GET nomination rules. Still! He's been in there long enough.
Jo doesn't like how she's coming across, acting like she don't give a toss. Good time to play the 'I want to leave' card. Sympathy gunge?
Ooh Andrew did do Steve! Hehe! Corin, do JJ and John James!
How come Jo's wearing a shower cap? Cheat!
Notice Jo didn't do John James, despite her constant drubbing of him in recent weeks? SCARED. In fact no one has done him yet- reign of terror. That's probably what BB are after. Glad Josie did JJ despite the bromance.
Hold on, the last couple of people can just vote tactically! This is BS.
Sam did Dave and Corin; nice work.
John James and Josie got no votes! I'd have just done then at the end for the crack. No one wanted to nominate them to their face, just behind their backs, they just went for the easy options.
Dave is SUCH a sore loser. Such a bad, bad loser. Mario is also a terrible sport.
CAN WE GET DAVE OUT THIS WEEK? Pretty please?
Jo, how can you moan for people nominating you? You are carping about wanting to go! IDIOT BOX. Fuck off. Also, you didn't dare nominate John James when it counted. So you're also fake as well as a cliched old bore.
LOL Dave can't do save and replace. They are gunning for that god-bothering gimp this week. Not before time.
Sam just talked about noms too! I know the rules and I'm not in there. What's their excuse?
Mario, please win this task. They've set him up to win this one, surely. Come on Mario, fight like when you were in that little mole suit and we really loved you.
Dave is being so bitter and bloody-minded towards Mario lately, it makes me sick.
Mario kicked arse at that task! Oh no, he picked Sam. I don't want Sam to go.
Yay to Corin telling Dave to belt up. BB are gunning for Dave now. Give him as bad an edit as humanly possible and let's take out the trash.
Sam's t-shirt is cool. Keep him in.
John James giving Josie shit for picking JJ. It's HER nomination, not yours, crab eyes. John James is now pissed off that NO ONE VOTED FOR HIM! Come on! You really can't win.
OMG now even Dave is having a go at Josie! Leave it out, PLEASE!
Urgh it's hard to choose who I hate more, Dave or Jo, they are both so completely abhorrent.
Jo; 'you can never judge a book by it's cover... that's the kind of person I am... what's mine is yours.' Someone get this cunt a Christmas cracker.
Dave sulking to BB that they don't want him in there; call the Samaritans. Phone the union. Commit suicide. Yeah keep stuffing your face with that jam roly-poly, Dave, you little crybaby.
Sam giving Dave short shrift! Love it. Mario comparing Dave the Jesus. Well, Dave does turn water into whine. (sorry)
So will it change their nominations them having to do them in public (via a gunking)? I say yes. Wassup with Andrew? Doesn't wanna gunk Steve, methinks.
Dave STILL DOESN'T GET nomination rules. Still! He's been in there long enough.
Jo doesn't like how she's coming across, acting like she don't give a toss. Good time to play the 'I want to leave' card. Sympathy gunge?
Ooh Andrew did do Steve! Hehe! Corin, do JJ and John James!
How come Jo's wearing a shower cap? Cheat!
Notice Jo didn't do John James, despite her constant drubbing of him in recent weeks? SCARED. In fact no one has done him yet- reign of terror. That's probably what BB are after. Glad Josie did JJ despite the bromance.
Hold on, the last couple of people can just vote tactically! This is BS.
Sam did Dave and Corin; nice work.
John James and Josie got no votes! I'd have just done then at the end for the crack. No one wanted to nominate them to their face, just behind their backs, they just went for the easy options.
Dave is SUCH a sore loser. Such a bad, bad loser. Mario is also a terrible sport.
CAN WE GET DAVE OUT THIS WEEK? Pretty please?
Jo, how can you moan for people nominating you? You are carping about wanting to go! IDIOT BOX. Fuck off. Also, you didn't dare nominate John James when it counted. So you're also fake as well as a cliched old bore.
LOL Dave can't do save and replace. They are gunning for that god-bothering gimp this week. Not before time.
Sam just talked about noms too! I know the rules and I'm not in there. What's their excuse?
Mario, please win this task. They've set him up to win this one, surely. Come on Mario, fight like when you were in that little mole suit and we really loved you.
Dave is being so bitter and bloody-minded towards Mario lately, it makes me sick.
Mario kicked arse at that task! Oh no, he picked Sam. I don't want Sam to go.
Yay to Corin telling Dave to belt up. BB are gunning for Dave now. Give him as bad an edit as humanly possible and let's take out the trash.
Sam's t-shirt is cool. Keep him in.
John James giving Josie shit for picking JJ. It's HER nomination, not yours, crab eyes. John James is now pissed off that NO ONE VOTED FOR HIM! Come on! You really can't win.
OMG now even Dave is having a go at Josie! Leave it out, PLEASE!
Urgh it's hard to choose who I hate more, Dave or Jo, they are both so completely abhorrent.
Jo; 'you can never judge a book by it's cover... that's the kind of person I am... what's mine is yours.' Someone get this cunt a Christmas cracker.
Dave sulking to BB that they don't want him in there; call the Samaritans. Phone the union. Commit suicide. Yeah keep stuffing your face with that jam roly-poly, Dave, you little crybaby.
Sam giving Dave short shrift! Love it. Mario comparing Dave the Jesus. Well, Dave does turn water into whine. (sorry)
Monday, 9 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Once a cunt, always a cunt
Strap yourself in for another riveting rollercoaster of a show! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Jo's words of wisdom: 'once a cheat, always a cheat.' Next up; 'what goes around comes around', followed by 'everything happens for a reason'. Please. Kill. Me.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT JJ'S SEXLIFE, MATES OR ANYTHING ELSE. He's a prick, a boring dullard. Not interested. Waste of a housemate. Fuck up for the last series.
Dave's green T shirt watch: he's STILL wearing it. Vom.
Mario quoting Florence. Profound. The dog days continue!
Don't worry, Dave, six million people aren't watching this shit. Mainly because YOU'RE STILL IN IT, YOU CUNT. Judgemental dickwad.
JJ talking bollocks? This blog writes itself. I'd rather shag Andrew than JJ and I wholeheartedly mean that.
Space invaders. I'll take the crisps. Not the beef ones though. Or the spicy ones. Just the pickled onion ones. 15p you say? Swizz. Fuck this credit crunch. NB. You can give that boring bastard a task but it won't actually make him interesting. It might just add a bit of padding to his non-existent best bits.
JJ just made Jo cry by pretending she looked upset and then giving her a hug. Unusual.
OMG Dave thinks Jo is upset because SHE SAID SOMETHING SHE REGRETTED LAST NIGHT, not because he's a sanctimonious dog-fucker. I literally just screeched like a banshee at the TV. I ask again; WHY DID YOU KEEP THIS PERSON IN???
Has anyone even noticed Andrew's not there?
JJ's hand on Josie's leg made me cringe. JJ doesn't like women who talk back, so never fear, ladies. I know for a fact JJ wouldn't even spit on Josie if she was on fire in any other situation, he just has to be nice to her because she's John James's moll.
JJ getting a massage: 'I'm not gay!' Well you look it, except I like gay people, and they aren't sexist wankers. (NB. I should have got to the end of the blog before I said that *cough* Mario)
34 minutes in and that's the first time I've seen Sam Pepper! What are they doing to us?
John James is being flippant with Josie's feelings tonight. If it was a girl treating a bloke the way he treats her in there, I can only imagine the vilification she'd be getting. The effigies would be stacking up. She's better than him, and I like her friendship with Corin. I warm to Corin sometimes.
I want to start calling JJ 'Ver-JJ' but it's too sexist.
Jesus: Corin has been the model of patience for 60 days or so in that house, she snaps at Sam Pepper, who was basically put in there to be an irritant, and she's vilified. What rank hypocrisy!
Mario calling women 'birds'! Guess he won't mind me calling him a fag then! He does? He'd better say sorry then.
John James actually brought pictures of HIMSELF into the house? Lawks. Steve gave up earbuds. He clearly cares for Sam dearly. Put some clothes on now, Sam, your B*witched tattoo is getting old.
Oh shut up Dave, I wish someone would face swap you, surgically if needs be.
I actually really liked Corin tonight, that proves how slim the pickings are.
Sam Pepper FTW. At least he's honest in his cuntery.
Jo's words of wisdom: 'once a cheat, always a cheat.' Next up; 'what goes around comes around', followed by 'everything happens for a reason'. Please. Kill. Me.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT JJ'S SEXLIFE, MATES OR ANYTHING ELSE. He's a prick, a boring dullard. Not interested. Waste of a housemate. Fuck up for the last series.
Dave's green T shirt watch: he's STILL wearing it. Vom.
Mario quoting Florence. Profound. The dog days continue!
Don't worry, Dave, six million people aren't watching this shit. Mainly because YOU'RE STILL IN IT, YOU CUNT. Judgemental dickwad.
JJ talking bollocks? This blog writes itself. I'd rather shag Andrew than JJ and I wholeheartedly mean that.
Space invaders. I'll take the crisps. Not the beef ones though. Or the spicy ones. Just the pickled onion ones. 15p you say? Swizz. Fuck this credit crunch. NB. You can give that boring bastard a task but it won't actually make him interesting. It might just add a bit of padding to his non-existent best bits.
JJ just made Jo cry by pretending she looked upset and then giving her a hug. Unusual.
OMG Dave thinks Jo is upset because SHE SAID SOMETHING SHE REGRETTED LAST NIGHT, not because he's a sanctimonious dog-fucker. I literally just screeched like a banshee at the TV. I ask again; WHY DID YOU KEEP THIS PERSON IN???
Has anyone even noticed Andrew's not there?
JJ's hand on Josie's leg made me cringe. JJ doesn't like women who talk back, so never fear, ladies. I know for a fact JJ wouldn't even spit on Josie if she was on fire in any other situation, he just has to be nice to her because she's John James's moll.
JJ getting a massage: 'I'm not gay!' Well you look it, except I like gay people, and they aren't sexist wankers. (NB. I should have got to the end of the blog before I said that *cough* Mario)
34 minutes in and that's the first time I've seen Sam Pepper! What are they doing to us?
John James is being flippant with Josie's feelings tonight. If it was a girl treating a bloke the way he treats her in there, I can only imagine the vilification she'd be getting. The effigies would be stacking up. She's better than him, and I like her friendship with Corin. I warm to Corin sometimes.
I want to start calling JJ 'Ver-JJ' but it's too sexist.
Jesus: Corin has been the model of patience for 60 days or so in that house, she snaps at Sam Pepper, who was basically put in there to be an irritant, and she's vilified. What rank hypocrisy!
Mario calling women 'birds'! Guess he won't mind me calling him a fag then! He does? He'd better say sorry then.
John James actually brought pictures of HIMSELF into the house? Lawks. Steve gave up earbuds. He clearly cares for Sam dearly. Put some clothes on now, Sam, your B*witched tattoo is getting old.
Oh shut up Dave, I wish someone would face swap you, surgically if needs be.
I actually really liked Corin tonight, that proves how slim the pickings are.
Sam Pepper FTW. At least he's honest in his cuntery.
Sunday, 8 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Watermelon, anyone?
John James talking about public perception, even though he's NOT PLAYING THE GAME. Honest.
Has Mario got a wig on? I thought he was wearing a wig for a task, but it's occurred to me, that's actually his hair.
Josie's insecurity is actually getting out of control. It's not a good idea to keep pointing out your flaws, it draws attention to them. Her arse isn't even that big, it's just out of proportion with her top half.
Jo doesn't like not getting any attention in there! They've put her in as 'the cougar' and she's got no young totty interested. I think she is badly jealous of John James's popularity and standing in the house. Just walk then! You are offering NOTHING whatsoever.
Marbles! Zzzzzzzz. You might be enjoying playing them, Dave, but we don't enjoy watching it, you turnip. I wish they'd take you out and not give you back. I swear he's been wearing that T-shirt for the past week.
I thought Sam was meant to be a decent artist?! Not impressed. Anyone not drawing John James as a crab is missing a trick.
Has Andrew got red hair? I wouldn't have said he does. Sam is funny. I like him more and more, but admittedly, the pickings are anorexic.
Mario grumbling about his drawing getting dirt on his picture. Not just as good as Rex defiling someone's artwork in previous years.
I liked it when Steve went 'boo' at Sam and he pinwheeled to the floor.
Dave is SUCH a bitch. I'm sure it's not what what Jesus would have wanted.
Dave going on about being a married man- blah blah. You're just a dullard and John James doesn't want to get put on the spot about Josie.
Corin has got her comeuppance with JJ, to be honest. She sold her girlfriend out for nothing, for less than nothing. Liked Josie saying 'who does he think he is?'
Apparently on the live feed Steve said he liked strangling women during sex. Why did that not make the highlights?! SEXY TIMES.
What was the mystical 'thing' JJ saw in Corin's personality that put him off? At least she's GOT a personality. Him moaning about 'other sides' to people's personality is a joke, at least they have two sides or more and not just a Topman voucher and a cravat where his heart should be.
Has Mario got a wig on? I thought he was wearing a wig for a task, but it's occurred to me, that's actually his hair.
Josie's insecurity is actually getting out of control. It's not a good idea to keep pointing out your flaws, it draws attention to them. Her arse isn't even that big, it's just out of proportion with her top half.
Jo doesn't like not getting any attention in there! They've put her in as 'the cougar' and she's got no young totty interested. I think she is badly jealous of John James's popularity and standing in the house. Just walk then! You are offering NOTHING whatsoever.
Marbles! Zzzzzzzz. You might be enjoying playing them, Dave, but we don't enjoy watching it, you turnip. I wish they'd take you out and not give you back. I swear he's been wearing that T-shirt for the past week.
I thought Sam was meant to be a decent artist?! Not impressed. Anyone not drawing John James as a crab is missing a trick.
Has Andrew got red hair? I wouldn't have said he does. Sam is funny. I like him more and more, but admittedly, the pickings are anorexic.
Mario grumbling about his drawing getting dirt on his picture. Not just as good as Rex defiling someone's artwork in previous years.
I liked it when Steve went 'boo' at Sam and he pinwheeled to the floor.
Dave is SUCH a bitch. I'm sure it's not what what Jesus would have wanted.
Dave going on about being a married man- blah blah. You're just a dullard and John James doesn't want to get put on the spot about Josie.
Corin has got her comeuppance with JJ, to be honest. She sold her girlfriend out for nothing, for less than nothing. Liked Josie saying 'who does he think he is?'
Apparently on the live feed Steve said he liked strangling women during sex. Why did that not make the highlights?! SEXY TIMES.
What was the mystical 'thing' JJ saw in Corin's personality that put him off? At least she's GOT a personality. Him moaning about 'other sides' to people's personality is a joke, at least they have two sides or more and not just a Topman voucher and a cravat where his heart should be.
Saturday, 7 August 2010
Big Brother 11: I think he thought it was Halloween
Can't believe I have to suffer another week of that prickfest Dave - are these people loons? They must have misprinted the phone numbers, that's the only rational explanation. Ergh, I'm fucked off with this Scrooge task- there's only one feat of endurance being achieved here, and that's by the viewers. What is this bullshit with Corin and JJ? 'Tickling his front' yeah, the front of his knob. What's in it for either of them? It's like watching an acorn have it off with a corpse.
Who sits in the bath EATING? Is that acceptable in Australia?
Ah, gruel. FUCK OFF. Ergh, that close up of Corin in the mirror was grim - I swear she ages a decade every episode. Tim Burton should take this show over once C4 have done with it, most of the work's been done for him already. Oh Jo, please fuck off - you're about as badly conceived as that cunt who tried to get off with Lucas at the church jumble sale in Enders the other week. 'I hate arrogance'- lol, I've got a poster of it on my wall you stupid old bint.
Well done JJ, you just read out a list of food items- better than his usual schtick. Despite John James's constant hollow threats to flounce out, his recent militancy does actually ring true. He don't like wearing that dress much though, does he? Walliams he ain't. Sam is such a relentless pisstaker it hurts, but he is just about the only thing that makes this show worth watching in the absence of Ben. Why was he just being nice to Andrew? Probably cos he can see how much he sets him on edge. I think C4 would do just about anything to keep Sam in, and quite rightly so.
Good god, John James swears a lot doesn't he? He's getting the opposite of the Hira edit tonight. I think he's just miffed because he's still got to wear THAT dress. Strokegate! The National Stroke Association. Fuck me, he'd go mental if he knew they were cussing his breathing technique in the bedroom. Crab lungs, lol. Sam Pepper is like a young Mick Jagger fused with that Angelos cunt off Shooting Stars. John James- 4 real, lol. He's right though, Sam is a bit like a viewer in there, and so's Jo; they commentate on everything but don't give us anything of themselves.
Can you believe 177,000 goons watched that Dickensian bullshit on the C4 website? Have these people not been on the internet before. Fuck me, thanks christ that ask is over. Pepper rulebroke over a helping of pepper, lol. Do you think Steve will 'face swap' Sam next week? It'd be a good trade.
Funny how John James says he's never seen this show but seems to know the viewing figures! That guy has got the whole thing pegged; heartthrob, showmance, drama. And do you know what, I think Josie's almost onto him, if only she could see past the attraction. By the way, widger up arsecrack? She IS gagging for it.
Who sits in the bath EATING? Is that acceptable in Australia?
Ah, gruel. FUCK OFF. Ergh, that close up of Corin in the mirror was grim - I swear she ages a decade every episode. Tim Burton should take this show over once C4 have done with it, most of the work's been done for him already. Oh Jo, please fuck off - you're about as badly conceived as that cunt who tried to get off with Lucas at the church jumble sale in Enders the other week. 'I hate arrogance'- lol, I've got a poster of it on my wall you stupid old bint.
Well done JJ, you just read out a list of food items- better than his usual schtick. Despite John James's constant hollow threats to flounce out, his recent militancy does actually ring true. He don't like wearing that dress much though, does he? Walliams he ain't. Sam is such a relentless pisstaker it hurts, but he is just about the only thing that makes this show worth watching in the absence of Ben. Why was he just being nice to Andrew? Probably cos he can see how much he sets him on edge. I think C4 would do just about anything to keep Sam in, and quite rightly so.
Good god, John James swears a lot doesn't he? He's getting the opposite of the Hira edit tonight. I think he's just miffed because he's still got to wear THAT dress. Strokegate! The National Stroke Association. Fuck me, he'd go mental if he knew they were cussing his breathing technique in the bedroom. Crab lungs, lol. Sam Pepper is like a young Mick Jagger fused with that Angelos cunt off Shooting Stars. John James- 4 real, lol. He's right though, Sam is a bit like a viewer in there, and so's Jo; they commentate on everything but don't give us anything of themselves.
Can you believe 177,000 goons watched that Dickensian bullshit on the C4 website? Have these people not been on the internet before. Fuck me, thanks christ that ask is over. Pepper rulebroke over a helping of pepper, lol. Do you think Steve will 'face swap' Sam next week? It'd be a good trade.
Funny how John James says he's never seen this show but seems to know the viewing figures! That guy has got the whole thing pegged; heartthrob, showmance, drama. And do you know what, I think Josie's almost onto him, if only she could see past the attraction. By the way, widger up arsecrack? She IS gagging for it.
Friday, 6 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Pepper spray
Are you excited about Mario's magic trick? Me neither! This task blows! Yesterdays show was sooo boring. Trying to sustain excitement since Ben gone is proving difficult. John James throwing a paddy in a dress was the best thing that happened yesterday. Why did they choose these people? Where are the Marcus's, the Freddies? Where's Rex? Instead we get Jo and JJ. They had 81 cunts to choose from, was this really the cream of the crop? Fuck a DUCK!
I like it when John just rounds on people. At least it provides some entertainment. Dave you ARE an inanimate object. Please go tonight. Get off my TV screen.
JJ looks like a little field mouse in that get up. I wish someone would stamp on him.
Like Sam riling Dave! Keep that up.
They showed Dave and Sam having the same conversation TWICE! Are we that hard up for highlights.
Dave- STOP TALKING ABOUT NOMINATIONS, THICKO.
Wow, these highlights are duff. LOL they're making sure Sam stays next week. Good move. I dread to think what this show would be like without him.
Every time Jo speaks I want to drain my blood into a large bowl and throw it out the window, just to stop the pain.
Swimming-costume gate! John James definitely smirked.
Oh the old smoking argument. SMOKING IS AN ADDICTION. Well, you got addicted, moron, not me, so suck it up. Corin is getting on my wick. Sam seems more sane every day. It would be funny if he won, right?
Sam getting told not to insult people by old crab eyes. That's rich!
Dave 'especially with a woman'. He really sees women as inferior beings who can't stand up for themselves, doesn't he?
2nd show. Oh, who cares? They should have the evicted housemate come out of that box, it'd be better.
Not just as good Ben's stand up.
OMG Dave survives again. WHY? He's going to start thinking he's popular at this rate. Don't get me wrong, Rachel is a complete gorm but fucking hell. She's not a homophobic anti-abortionist fantasist.
I like Rachel's dress. At least she's enjoying herself if no one else is. She's annoying but she was basically harmless, except for when she was gunning for Ben.
Aw, Ben. *wells up*
Rachel wants Dave to win! WHY?
Can you imagine ringing in with a question for Rachel? I mean, you might as well just shout down a well.
Ooh, all-stars in two weeks! Who decides who's our favourite housemates? Here's my pick: Ashleeeeeeeeen, Victor, Rex, Brian Belo, Brian Dowling, Helen, Derek, Craig (psycho, not builder), Freddie, Marcus, and there must be some other females I liked but I can't think of any.
NB. Crab eyes is going to win this hands down. You know it, I know it, he knows it. And he'll be off to Australia to top up his already big bank account, leaving Josie for dust. The end.
I like it when John just rounds on people. At least it provides some entertainment. Dave you ARE an inanimate object. Please go tonight. Get off my TV screen.
JJ looks like a little field mouse in that get up. I wish someone would stamp on him.
Like Sam riling Dave! Keep that up.
They showed Dave and Sam having the same conversation TWICE! Are we that hard up for highlights.
Dave- STOP TALKING ABOUT NOMINATIONS, THICKO.
Wow, these highlights are duff. LOL they're making sure Sam stays next week. Good move. I dread to think what this show would be like without him.
Every time Jo speaks I want to drain my blood into a large bowl and throw it out the window, just to stop the pain.
Swimming-costume gate! John James definitely smirked.
Oh the old smoking argument. SMOKING IS AN ADDICTION. Well, you got addicted, moron, not me, so suck it up. Corin is getting on my wick. Sam seems more sane every day. It would be funny if he won, right?
Sam getting told not to insult people by old crab eyes. That's rich!
Dave 'especially with a woman'. He really sees women as inferior beings who can't stand up for themselves, doesn't he?
2nd show. Oh, who cares? They should have the evicted housemate come out of that box, it'd be better.
Not just as good Ben's stand up.
OMG Dave survives again. WHY? He's going to start thinking he's popular at this rate. Don't get me wrong, Rachel is a complete gorm but fucking hell. She's not a homophobic anti-abortionist fantasist.
I like Rachel's dress. At least she's enjoying herself if no one else is. She's annoying but she was basically harmless, except for when she was gunning for Ben.
Aw, Ben. *wells up*
Rachel wants Dave to win! WHY?
Can you imagine ringing in with a question for Rachel? I mean, you might as well just shout down a well.
Ooh, all-stars in two weeks! Who decides who's our favourite housemates? Here's my pick: Ashleeeeeeeeen, Victor, Rex, Brian Belo, Brian Dowling, Helen, Derek, Craig (psycho, not builder), Freddie, Marcus, and there must be some other females I liked but I can't think of any.
NB. Crab eyes is going to win this hands down. You know it, I know it, he knows it. And he'll be off to Australia to top up his already big bank account, leaving Josie for dust. The end.
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Pest control
Josie's roots! They are the most entertaining thing in the show. My boyfriend has gone off Big Brother big time and is being a big rain-cloud over the whole thing. I can't disagree though; it's just repetitive bullshit right now.
John James to JJ: 'do you understand where I'm coming from?' Of course he does, he's your little limpet.
No one is getting involved in this row! No one!
Dave is drunk on God. What a knob. Why doesn't Sam tear a strip off him?
I hate the way Rachel always wonders why people nominated her, does she have no self-awareness?
EW did Dave just say 'I'm going to curl one out?' VOMIT. WELL DONE AT KEEPING HIM IN, CRETINS.
Mario and John James: 'even Rachel might win this task!' Gallant.
Task! Sam: 'keep up that relentless pace.' At least he's got a one-liner or two in him.
Oh, Mario! Your chivalry becomes you. Yay- Dave's up! Don't let me down this week, dweebs.
What is John James's problem? Someone get the fly swat. What stirrer this dude is.
Dave finds Mario's way of choosing 'unusual'. This from the man pretending to be drunk on an imaginary being! To quote Steve, poppycock.
I kinda like Andrew and I still don't know why! I think he appeals to my inner (and outer) geek.
My boyfriend has now gone to bed. Big Brother is not helping my relationship! Be more entertaining!
URGH JJ shaves his armpits! I thought he couldn't get any less sexy; now he's half girl.
John James's morals about the game change dependant on the day and subject. He is a total hypocrite, totally inconsistent. In a nutshell, Mario didn't dare put Josie up in front of him. Littlejohn should be grateful.
Whoever put JJ in there should be sacked. Or shot. Take your pick. I'd rather watch two dogs fuck down an alley than Corin trying to get off with him.
Is Corin giving him a handjob? Groo. When will this all be over?
John James to JJ: 'do you understand where I'm coming from?' Of course he does, he's your little limpet.
No one is getting involved in this row! No one!
Dave is drunk on God. What a knob. Why doesn't Sam tear a strip off him?
I hate the way Rachel always wonders why people nominated her, does she have no self-awareness?
EW did Dave just say 'I'm going to curl one out?' VOMIT. WELL DONE AT KEEPING HIM IN, CRETINS.
Mario and John James: 'even Rachel might win this task!' Gallant.
Task! Sam: 'keep up that relentless pace.' At least he's got a one-liner or two in him.
Oh, Mario! Your chivalry becomes you. Yay- Dave's up! Don't let me down this week, dweebs.
What is John James's problem? Someone get the fly swat. What stirrer this dude is.
Dave finds Mario's way of choosing 'unusual'. This from the man pretending to be drunk on an imaginary being! To quote Steve, poppycock.
I kinda like Andrew and I still don't know why! I think he appeals to my inner (and outer) geek.
My boyfriend has now gone to bed. Big Brother is not helping my relationship! Be more entertaining!
URGH JJ shaves his armpits! I thought he couldn't get any less sexy; now he's half girl.
John James's morals about the game change dependant on the day and subject. He is a total hypocrite, totally inconsistent. In a nutshell, Mario didn't dare put Josie up in front of him. Littlejohn should be grateful.
Whoever put JJ in there should be sacked. Or shot. Take your pick. I'd rather watch two dogs fuck down an alley than Corin trying to get off with him.
Is Corin giving him a handjob? Groo. When will this all be over?
Tuesday, 3 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Decrease the decibels
Oh, Josie. Sam can't affect yours and John's relationship unless you let him.
NOMS. Hope Rachel goes this week. Andrew nominated Mario! Heh. Corin's crappy reason for nominating Jo! Rubbish. Just say she's an overbearing twonk.
Dave nominating Steve! Competition. He doesn't want to buy that computer knee, does he? Mario! Nooooo! Mario is being a dick lately. And the choice is getting smaller.
JJ doesn't like Rachel's voice. I don't like his FACE (I'd say personality but he hasn't got one).
I don't care who goes because I don't LIKE ANYONE! It's rubbish having no emotional investment. It's dull as a viewer.
Jo nominating John James. Yeah because you're providing so much more entertainment than him.
Everyone is out for Mario this week. That's going to put him in a good mood! Poor moley.
Ooh, Mario's after Josie's neck again. Abandoning dinner! Bitch. Letting people starve in the Big Brother house so she can have a frink! Mario is just jealous she's getting some action, methinks. Ditto the John James nomination.
Why would you bother nominating John James? It's obvious he's not going to go. He's the new JASON DONOVAN!
Steve's after John James and Josie, too. I guess you would be annoyed with them if you lived there and they just stayed in bed all day though. There's not much interaction to be had.
Bad Eastenders Character doesn't understand that it's all about high drama, not about her talking about DJing in Ibiza. She bores me to tears.
Josie stop justifying yourself because YOU are the one who needs to know where you stand, and you're terrified. You want to know as much as Sam does. Her and John ganging up on Sam just seemed tragic.
Sam is such a passion killer! Microphone gate. Josie and John James must be separated for the sake of our sanity. Stop nibbling each other's ears, goddammit.
Tree! Yes, Dave does make us yawn. RIP Ben.
John James's impression of the tree was good. JJ quoting the Bible was the funniest thing he's said in two weeks.
Is Josie still going on at Sam about the John James thing? BORING!
I like seeing people yawn on TV. You never see it in TV shows.
Jo is such a nosy so-and-so. She just wants to know what's going on! Keep your fucking beak out, dullard. She's right though; John James is holding the cards.
Sam's 'banter' is at least entertaining. It's better than JJ's.
Dave didn't seem too bothered that he didn't get his message. I'm surprised the satanic fucker can't understand backwards-speak. I thought he'd done OK at that task!
Aw John James admits to loving Josie Lee Collins. He just won't call her his girlfriend. I still like it when they cuddle, though. I like seeing affection in BB, we've been so starved of it over the years.
Aw John James and Josie sleeping on the floor. I am a sucker. They are both deeply flawed. Still, I cling.
NOMS. Hope Rachel goes this week. Andrew nominated Mario! Heh. Corin's crappy reason for nominating Jo! Rubbish. Just say she's an overbearing twonk.
Dave nominating Steve! Competition. He doesn't want to buy that computer knee, does he? Mario! Nooooo! Mario is being a dick lately. And the choice is getting smaller.
JJ doesn't like Rachel's voice. I don't like his FACE (I'd say personality but he hasn't got one).
I don't care who goes because I don't LIKE ANYONE! It's rubbish having no emotional investment. It's dull as a viewer.
Jo nominating John James. Yeah because you're providing so much more entertainment than him.
Everyone is out for Mario this week. That's going to put him in a good mood! Poor moley.
Ooh, Mario's after Josie's neck again. Abandoning dinner! Bitch. Letting people starve in the Big Brother house so she can have a frink! Mario is just jealous she's getting some action, methinks. Ditto the John James nomination.
Why would you bother nominating John James? It's obvious he's not going to go. He's the new JASON DONOVAN!
Steve's after John James and Josie, too. I guess you would be annoyed with them if you lived there and they just stayed in bed all day though. There's not much interaction to be had.
Bad Eastenders Character doesn't understand that it's all about high drama, not about her talking about DJing in Ibiza. She bores me to tears.
Josie stop justifying yourself because YOU are the one who needs to know where you stand, and you're terrified. You want to know as much as Sam does. Her and John ganging up on Sam just seemed tragic.
Sam is such a passion killer! Microphone gate. Josie and John James must be separated for the sake of our sanity. Stop nibbling each other's ears, goddammit.
Tree! Yes, Dave does make us yawn. RIP Ben.
John James's impression of the tree was good. JJ quoting the Bible was the funniest thing he's said in two weeks.
Is Josie still going on at Sam about the John James thing? BORING!
I like seeing people yawn on TV. You never see it in TV shows.
Jo is such a nosy so-and-so. She just wants to know what's going on! Keep your fucking beak out, dullard. She's right though; John James is holding the cards.
Sam's 'banter' is at least entertaining. It's better than JJ's.
Dave didn't seem too bothered that he didn't get his message. I'm surprised the satanic fucker can't understand backwards-speak. I thought he'd done OK at that task!
Aw John James admits to loving Josie Lee Collins. He just won't call her his girlfriend. I still like it when they cuddle, though. I like seeing affection in BB, we've been so starved of it over the years.
Aw John James and Josie sleeping on the floor. I am a sucker. They are both deeply flawed. Still, I cling.
Monday, 2 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Heads, shoulders, knees and crab eyes
Sam: 'JJ you're a prick.' Apparently JJ likes that kind of 'banter'. I heard JJ say on the live feed that two famous people he'd like to be friends with are James Corden and Peter Andre (for the music). Music?! Case closed on this cunt.
Does that say 'c'est la vie' on Sam's chest? Isn't that a Bewitched song? Sorry, B*witched.
Everyone trying to convince themselves Sam is loveable scamp when really they can't stand him is quite special.
John James looks sexy again today... and this is why he will win. Even though he's a psychotic women-hater.
I thought Corin would be sweating about the lack of video tape from her girlfriend. But SHE is the one that doesn't seem bothered. She's just written off her girlfriend just like that. No more buzzing with her I guess! (apologies)
Jo is just a platitude-fest. She's got less character than a dishcloth. Has she even said one interesting thing since she walked through the door?
I can't work out what's going on in this task. It's definitely not as good as the endurance tasks on BBUSA, I know that much.
John James is loaded because he inherited loads of cash from his dead dad. I hate the thought of him lording it over Josie. I feel like she is heading for such a fall.
Magazine deals! Old crab eyes don't need the money. He doesn't approve of that sort of thing, either. John James is bearing his teeth like a chimp when Sam goes for Josie. But he didn't stick up for her. He should back Josie up on this one.
No one is going to be interested in Sam's story, that's for sure.
I liked Sam smirking during Andrew's date. I'm surprised Andrew chose him! Poor Andrew, he hasn't got a clue. Sam is quite camp really, he's like a bitchy queen.
I don't know why Josie is bothered about the magazine deal thing. I'd be more annoyed that he'd called me a fat slag.
If Jo is a dishcloth, JJ is an amoeba. I'd call him an oxygen thief but I'm not sure he's actually breathing. A boxer? I wish someone would punch him in the face. With a knuckle duster.
I liked Sam a bit more today. He's just a little devil. But rather a devil than a dishcloth.
Does that say 'c'est la vie' on Sam's chest? Isn't that a Bewitched song? Sorry, B*witched.
Everyone trying to convince themselves Sam is loveable scamp when really they can't stand him is quite special.
John James looks sexy again today... and this is why he will win. Even though he's a psychotic women-hater.
I thought Corin would be sweating about the lack of video tape from her girlfriend. But SHE is the one that doesn't seem bothered. She's just written off her girlfriend just like that. No more buzzing with her I guess! (apologies)
Jo is just a platitude-fest. She's got less character than a dishcloth. Has she even said one interesting thing since she walked through the door?
I can't work out what's going on in this task. It's definitely not as good as the endurance tasks on BBUSA, I know that much.
John James is loaded because he inherited loads of cash from his dead dad. I hate the thought of him lording it over Josie. I feel like she is heading for such a fall.
Magazine deals! Old crab eyes don't need the money. He doesn't approve of that sort of thing, either. John James is bearing his teeth like a chimp when Sam goes for Josie. But he didn't stick up for her. He should back Josie up on this one.
No one is going to be interested in Sam's story, that's for sure.
I liked Sam smirking during Andrew's date. I'm surprised Andrew chose him! Poor Andrew, he hasn't got a clue. Sam is quite camp really, he's like a bitchy queen.
I don't know why Josie is bothered about the magazine deal thing. I'd be more annoyed that he'd called me a fat slag.
If Jo is a dishcloth, JJ is an amoeba. I'd call him an oxygen thief but I'm not sure he's actually breathing. A boxer? I wish someone would punch him in the face. With a knuckle duster.
I liked Sam a bit more today. He's just a little devil. But rather a devil than a dishcloth.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Big Brother 11: Sexual harrassment
So, Sam. Can he keep up that act indefinitely, or is he just a mega knob? John James having to grit his teeth as Sam took the mick out of them on last night's show was amusing though. And we saw a new side of Andrew too; Andrew under pressure. Interesting. This lot really deserve what they get.
I think Sam is enjoying playing dress up. And I think they want him to fail this task.
I think Sam just sexually assaulted Josie. Can we throw him out now? I hope Big Brother tells him off. Oh, they did.
John James squirming when Sam was grilling him about the romance was interesting. I didn't like the way John James ducked and dived over that.
Sam didn't seem the slightest bit bothered that he has to wear fancy dress from now on. It feels to me like he's got aspergers or something; there's no levels to his personality. Something's not right.
Jo is being a bit unfair dragging Corin over the coals over JJ, when she has a girlfriend. She's already done enough damage on her own.
Messages from home! Tissues at the ready.
No message from Corin's girlfriend! Uh oh. Dave's wife message seemed utterly stilted. If my boyfriend left a message for me like that after 2 months, I'd assume he'd been off fucking half of London. Either that or she's just a cold fish.
Media coverage! John James won't like that. He's not in it for that! Except when he is. John's mum is glam.
Steve's kids are cute. His wife didn't seem very loving either. Maybe she's pissed off about Keeley.
Ah, it was nice when Rachel hugged Steve, she seemed genuinely compassionate.
I'm not sure I'd dare start the toothbrush war with Sam, you never know where he's going to put it.
BBB (bring back Ben!)
I think Sam is enjoying playing dress up. And I think they want him to fail this task.
I think Sam just sexually assaulted Josie. Can we throw him out now? I hope Big Brother tells him off. Oh, they did.
John James squirming when Sam was grilling him about the romance was interesting. I didn't like the way John James ducked and dived over that.
Sam didn't seem the slightest bit bothered that he has to wear fancy dress from now on. It feels to me like he's got aspergers or something; there's no levels to his personality. Something's not right.
Jo is being a bit unfair dragging Corin over the coals over JJ, when she has a girlfriend. She's already done enough damage on her own.
Messages from home! Tissues at the ready.
No message from Corin's girlfriend! Uh oh. Dave's wife message seemed utterly stilted. If my boyfriend left a message for me like that after 2 months, I'd assume he'd been off fucking half of London. Either that or she's just a cold fish.
Media coverage! John James won't like that. He's not in it for that! Except when he is. John's mum is glam.
Steve's kids are cute. His wife didn't seem very loving either. Maybe she's pissed off about Keeley.
Ah, it was nice when Rachel hugged Steve, she seemed genuinely compassionate.
I'm not sure I'd dare start the toothbrush war with Sam, you never know where he's going to put it.
BBB (bring back Ben!)
Friday, 30 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Change your taste in Ben
So did Laura let the cat out of the bag? Is Sam going in over Tubbs? Good, I want someone hateful to go in, not like all these other dullards.
That model has a nice bum. Why can't he be a housemate? I've never seen so many people in the bathroom all at once!
Davina in the house was quite funny. Better than when she went in in that ridiculous farmyard garb. Ooh, John James looks hot in that eyeliner! Davina licked his face and he RECOILED!
Ben is disgusted by new Tampax IN A PACKET! Never go to a festival, Ben. I can't work out if he's being sexist or just ignorant. Still, why do BB have to show that right now?! SOB (Save our Ben).
YES! Dave saying 'make-up is helping ugly women get laid for centuries'! That was the sound of a thousand phones being picked up.
This conversation between John and Andrew is cringeworthy! That was entirely for the benefit of the cameras as far as I'm concerned. He is playing that game!
Why is Gok Wan having his picture taken with Steve? *racist*
It makes me feel physically sick when Dave says he's got stuff bubbling up in his belly. It makes vomit bubble up in my throat.
I couldn't not cuddle my boyfriend if he was there. Was Dave's wife the blonde one? She looked a bit nice for him! That task is a headfuck.
Corin, 'you can never be too brown'. True, but you can be too orange.
How could people hate Ben!? He is the LOLS! Get that fat CUNT Dave out NOW!
JEDWARD! I saw Jedward on Live From Studio Five earlier, they were AMAZING. I also read an interview with them recently where they said the following: 'People only throw tantrums and storm out of rooms slamming the door BECAUSE THEY'VE SEEN IT IN A MOVIE.' Just stop to consider that for a second. Imagine if you learnt my entire emotional range from 80s films. They are quite special little things, aren't they (Jedward, not extra terrestrials).
I wish Mario would get a grip, he's unravelling in that place. Dear Mario, stop being such a DOUCHE. You were a hero once. You didn't talk to your granddad because you didn't NOTICE HIM!
Ben has got nuff makeup on! He looks 80s. OMG! DAVE IS SAFE OVER BEN! This is fucking bullshit! What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously, does Dave provide more entertainment in that house than Ben? I am DISGUSTED.
I am literally screaming at the TV. Dave is SCUM! Ben looks scared. I don't like anyone else in there!
It just feels like the end of Big Brother for me right now. My Big Brother heart feels broken. The show is ending this year and there's no one I love in there; Ben is the only one I cared about. I BLUBBED.
Why the fuck did John James get such a big cheer? I seriously want Andrew to win now. Fuck John James. FUCKING RACHEL IS IN THERE AND BEN'S NOT. ARGH!
What Ben brought to the table was panache, Davina.
Ben looks nervous. I hope they don't let the public abuse him. Don't crawl to Rachel, she's a complete tool.
My God, Ben got 52% of the vote. How is that possible?
Ben: 'my mum's in exile in Switzerland'. Oh, I will miss him. Idiot fucking public, I despise you. Cheers.
Sam Pepper! Please spice things up. A massacre would probably hit the spot. You could become my new favourite so very easily right now. Especially as apparently he upset Ife in the auditions. They should make him evict one housemate of his choice in front of them.
Can you imagine being in Jedward's backing band? I'd rather do that than be in Scouting for Girls. Or be anywhere near Joss Stone.
I think I love Jedward. They are not quite human, but they'd be good to play with.
Jedward are like mad imps trashing the place! Ooh Jedward got in trubs. LOL! Jedward just set the fire alarm off! Quality.
Jedward are shiny. Perhaps housemates shouldn't ignore the fire alarm. It might set a dangerous precedent.
That model has a nice bum. Why can't he be a housemate? I've never seen so many people in the bathroom all at once!
Davina in the house was quite funny. Better than when she went in in that ridiculous farmyard garb. Ooh, John James looks hot in that eyeliner! Davina licked his face and he RECOILED!
Ben is disgusted by new Tampax IN A PACKET! Never go to a festival, Ben. I can't work out if he's being sexist or just ignorant. Still, why do BB have to show that right now?! SOB (Save our Ben).
YES! Dave saying 'make-up is helping ugly women get laid for centuries'! That was the sound of a thousand phones being picked up.
This conversation between John and Andrew is cringeworthy! That was entirely for the benefit of the cameras as far as I'm concerned. He is playing that game!
Why is Gok Wan having his picture taken with Steve? *racist*
It makes me feel physically sick when Dave says he's got stuff bubbling up in his belly. It makes vomit bubble up in my throat.
I couldn't not cuddle my boyfriend if he was there. Was Dave's wife the blonde one? She looked a bit nice for him! That task is a headfuck.
Corin, 'you can never be too brown'. True, but you can be too orange.
How could people hate Ben!? He is the LOLS! Get that fat CUNT Dave out NOW!
JEDWARD! I saw Jedward on Live From Studio Five earlier, they were AMAZING. I also read an interview with them recently where they said the following: 'People only throw tantrums and storm out of rooms slamming the door BECAUSE THEY'VE SEEN IT IN A MOVIE.' Just stop to consider that for a second. Imagine if you learnt my entire emotional range from 80s films. They are quite special little things, aren't they (Jedward, not extra terrestrials).
I wish Mario would get a grip, he's unravelling in that place. Dear Mario, stop being such a DOUCHE. You were a hero once. You didn't talk to your granddad because you didn't NOTICE HIM!
Ben has got nuff makeup on! He looks 80s. OMG! DAVE IS SAFE OVER BEN! This is fucking bullshit! What the fuck is wrong with people? Seriously, does Dave provide more entertainment in that house than Ben? I am DISGUSTED.
I am literally screaming at the TV. Dave is SCUM! Ben looks scared. I don't like anyone else in there!
It just feels like the end of Big Brother for me right now. My Big Brother heart feels broken. The show is ending this year and there's no one I love in there; Ben is the only one I cared about. I BLUBBED.
Why the fuck did John James get such a big cheer? I seriously want Andrew to win now. Fuck John James. FUCKING RACHEL IS IN THERE AND BEN'S NOT. ARGH!
What Ben brought to the table was panache, Davina.
Ben looks nervous. I hope they don't let the public abuse him. Don't crawl to Rachel, she's a complete tool.
My God, Ben got 52% of the vote. How is that possible?
Ben: 'my mum's in exile in Switzerland'. Oh, I will miss him. Idiot fucking public, I despise you. Cheers.
Sam Pepper! Please spice things up. A massacre would probably hit the spot. You could become my new favourite so very easily right now. Especially as apparently he upset Ife in the auditions. They should make him evict one housemate of his choice in front of them.
Can you imagine being in Jedward's backing band? I'd rather do that than be in Scouting for Girls. Or be anywhere near Joss Stone.
I think I love Jedward. They are not quite human, but they'd be good to play with.
Jedward are like mad imps trashing the place! Ooh Jedward got in trubs. LOL! Jedward just set the fire alarm off! Quality.
Jedward are shiny. Perhaps housemates shouldn't ignore the fire alarm. It might set a dangerous precedent.
Thursday, 29 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Dear God Please Help Me (Get Dave Out)
Oh Laura! Didn't even say goodbye. She's worse than me leaving a nightclub. Half an hour later, no one has noticed she's gone. Did we even see them announce it!?
Why is Ben bothered about John and Josie being under the covers? 'He's a pig and she's a piglet!' That's love for you.
What is Corin playing at? I'd be mortified if my partner was leering over someone so explicitly in there.
That task (where they have to ignore weird things going on) is quite a good idea. They have NO HOPE of passing it.
That stripper postman is like a low level molester, following people around sticking his bum out.
Ben: task-failure enabler! Oh they get video messages if they pass. I hope we have a repeat of last year, when Bea wasn't impressed with the calibre of friend in her video message.
Josie should have said 'I love your crab eyes' to John James.
Has Mario not realised his granddad is sitting in the chair? LOL! 'My granddad is a world away from this'. Not!
How soon after did he twig?!
Oh, Rachel, leave off Ben. You're getting on my nerves.
Marcus Bentley going in was so post-modern, it was like the show was eating itself. It's like looking at a picture of someone looking in a mirror looking in a mirror. I reckon I would have recognised him! I bet he got a buzz from going in. I bet that's his dream come true. It's a head trip.
Marcus has got some comedy timing! Good on him.
OMG I would freak if someone wiped that pie in my face! Corin is a trouper.
Steve, I don't think saying 'ignore this, ignore this' counts as ignoring it. I liked the housemates saying the house was a shithole and playing ball over them! Funny. Andrew was particularly good.
Wow that task was actually really imaginative and funny. Well done, Big Brother. And I don't say that very often. (apart from all the outside people coming in, of course)
Oh God, Rachel and Mario ganging up on Ben is just boring. Rachel, you're NOT GOING OUT WITH HIM AND HE DID NOTHING. Shut the fuck up.
Ben is the favourite to go? On what planet could Ben be less popular than Dave? Not one I want to live on. Vote out that anti-abortion, women-hating, god-bothering fantasist NOW. Nooooooooooooow!
Why is Ben bothered about John and Josie being under the covers? 'He's a pig and she's a piglet!' That's love for you.
What is Corin playing at? I'd be mortified if my partner was leering over someone so explicitly in there.
That task (where they have to ignore weird things going on) is quite a good idea. They have NO HOPE of passing it.
That stripper postman is like a low level molester, following people around sticking his bum out.
Ben: task-failure enabler! Oh they get video messages if they pass. I hope we have a repeat of last year, when Bea wasn't impressed with the calibre of friend in her video message.
Josie should have said 'I love your crab eyes' to John James.
Has Mario not realised his granddad is sitting in the chair? LOL! 'My granddad is a world away from this'. Not!
How soon after did he twig?!
Oh, Rachel, leave off Ben. You're getting on my nerves.
Marcus Bentley going in was so post-modern, it was like the show was eating itself. It's like looking at a picture of someone looking in a mirror looking in a mirror. I reckon I would have recognised him! I bet he got a buzz from going in. I bet that's his dream come true. It's a head trip.
Marcus has got some comedy timing! Good on him.
OMG I would freak if someone wiped that pie in my face! Corin is a trouper.
Steve, I don't think saying 'ignore this, ignore this' counts as ignoring it. I liked the housemates saying the house was a shithole and playing ball over them! Funny. Andrew was particularly good.
Wow that task was actually really imaginative and funny. Well done, Big Brother. And I don't say that very often. (apart from all the outside people coming in, of course)
Oh God, Rachel and Mario ganging up on Ben is just boring. Rachel, you're NOT GOING OUT WITH HIM AND HE DID NOTHING. Shut the fuck up.
Ben is the favourite to go? On what planet could Ben be less popular than Dave? Not one I want to live on. Vote out that anti-abortion, women-hating, god-bothering fantasist NOW. Nooooooooooooow!
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Wedding Mess
So Laura walked. Let's have a minute's silence, to mirror her time in the house.
OMG John James has told Josie he likes her! Well, so she says.
Josie's impression of that snog was way sexy. Didn't she force him to have that snog? 'When I kissed him my breath smelt like a portaloo.' Lush.
Josie is worrying about the cost of overseas phonecalls. I wouldn't smash the piggybank just yet.
That exercise Andrew and Dave are doing looks HARDCORE. Move over JJJJ. There's some new totty in town.
Big Brother seems keen to get rid of Laura! No John James treatment; calling people to the diary room begging her to stay. Just fack off, boring. Stop wasting everyone's time. What exactly can't she cope with? John James's accent?
Not interested in all the flim-flam when I know she's already gone; it's a dead storyline.
Steve looked shocked to be up. John James looked cool when he got nominated and did the peace sign whilst eating a banana.
I hope Ben wins save and replace! Not much chance though.
Steve looks a bit peeved. Dave is worried because he's up against the straight MEN of the house. Women don't concern him.
Task: interesting; who will Steve pick to go up instead of him? I knew he'd pick Andrew. I think he probably does feel bad about it. I guess Mario has got off lightly this week.
I don't think Andrew will go. Surely it's our chance to get rid of Dave?
Dave on Josie and John James snogging; 'it's like a frigging porno shoot'. How weird is he?
Josie seems to be being particularly needy today, and wandering round in a wedding dress isn't helping matters.
John is PLAYING this game! 'Tell Josie I got cheered if I go.' What a man! He's a hero.
John James's pet limpet is upset he might go. Shoulda caught that bouquet then, rat face.
Andrew pining over Josie. Aw. In another world. Who'd have thought Josie would be the femme fatale of the house?
Is Andrew drunk and letching at Josie? Oh dear.
PS: Jo as Eastenders character continued. I watched some live feed and she was going on about Ibiza. Enough said.
OMG John James has told Josie he likes her! Well, so she says.
Josie's impression of that snog was way sexy. Didn't she force him to have that snog? 'When I kissed him my breath smelt like a portaloo.' Lush.
Josie is worrying about the cost of overseas phonecalls. I wouldn't smash the piggybank just yet.
That exercise Andrew and Dave are doing looks HARDCORE. Move over JJJJ. There's some new totty in town.
Big Brother seems keen to get rid of Laura! No John James treatment; calling people to the diary room begging her to stay. Just fack off, boring. Stop wasting everyone's time. What exactly can't she cope with? John James's accent?
Not interested in all the flim-flam when I know she's already gone; it's a dead storyline.
Steve looked shocked to be up. John James looked cool when he got nominated and did the peace sign whilst eating a banana.
I hope Ben wins save and replace! Not much chance though.
Steve looks a bit peeved. Dave is worried because he's up against the straight MEN of the house. Women don't concern him.
Task: interesting; who will Steve pick to go up instead of him? I knew he'd pick Andrew. I think he probably does feel bad about it. I guess Mario has got off lightly this week.
I don't think Andrew will go. Surely it's our chance to get rid of Dave?
Dave on Josie and John James snogging; 'it's like a frigging porno shoot'. How weird is he?
Josie seems to be being particularly needy today, and wandering round in a wedding dress isn't helping matters.
John is PLAYING this game! 'Tell Josie I got cheered if I go.' What a man! He's a hero.
John James's pet limpet is upset he might go. Shoulda caught that bouquet then, rat face.
Andrew pining over Josie. Aw. In another world. Who'd have thought Josie would be the femme fatale of the house?
Is Andrew drunk and letching at Josie? Oh dear.
PS: Jo as Eastenders character continued. I watched some live feed and she was going on about Ibiza. Enough said.
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Big Brother 11: My whites are boiling over
Jo is whipping out the old 'I'm not being funny'. She's like a badly written Eastenders character. I know that doesn't narrow it down.
Is John James still giving it the 'brother/sister' nonsense?
Ben having a go at Josie trying to be sexy! Bad. Naughty Ben. I don't think John knew what he was saying; or he pretended not to.
I like Mario's multicoloured nails! I'm going to try that. Online game chat. It's all a bit IT crowd but without the lols.
Ah, Dave automatically up; the producers are obviously trying to get shot of him this week, and not before time. I don't think John James would get that punishment, do you?
NOMS! I'd love to see Rachel go this week. No wonder Andrew is scared of Steve; Steve could crush him with his thumb.
Corin is in Ben's pocket with that nomination for Rachel, methinks.
Perhaps John should have said to Ben what he said in the diary room about Ben. I wasn't even sure he'd understood it at the time. He should have stuck up for Josie to Ben's face.
Josie nominated Ben to clear the bed next to her and John James, basically.
Mario is really getting on my wick right now. The mole thing seems a long, long time ago.
Rachel just nominated the two biggest characters in the house. Dur.
Steve nommed John and Josie! He's probably worried they're getting more airtime than him.
Ooh, all males up this week! I really hope Dave goes. I'm glad Steve's up, that'll give him a little shock.
Big Brother, how about just not including 'inaudible' bits in the highlights? Or just make something up. Uh-oh, tantrum time again! ANGUISH! Oh, the agony. Just snog, idiots. I think John James is worried about what other people think. That's about it.
John James's heart to heart with his new BFF forever was so dumb. OMG did you check out his necklace? JJ2 is a failed boy band member, dressed by Cromwell's Madhouse.
JJ2 looked more bothered that John went walkies that Josie did. DON'T DO IT JOHN! HE'S NOT WORTH IT! Josie unphased: 'he'll be back in a minute'. LOL!
As if they'd let John James walk. He's our leading man.
JJ1: 'please understand!'
JJ2: 'I can't understand!' Moving stuff. Who are all these people in the runs? They look like ghostly figures; apparitions. There's strange people in Big Brother every day this week. I'd be concerned it's going to go all Dead Set.
John James tortured in a tunnel, crying. This is the stuff teenage girl's dreams are made of! Who needs R-Pattz?
Poor Josie. The pain is written all over her face. Make no mistake; John James is concerned with how this looks to the outside. I'm not saying his feelings for Josie aren't real; but his feelings for himself run stronger.
God, can you imagine these two in a real relationship? Bags would be packed and clothes thrown from windows on a daily basis.
John should back off from her if he's really not interested. And I already know they snog tomorrow. So it's clearly the most mixed signals ever. And Corin said those exact words as I wrote them.
Aliengate! Don't deny Roswell, Ben! I saw the film.
Pinnochio ought to try and carve out a role for themselves in the house that's not Littlejohn's bitch.
What is up with Mario? I think he's lost his mind. He comes in and stares Ben out. Poor Ben. He's right, Mario is being a total shit right now. I think he's realised he's not going to win it and become unhinged as a result.
Did John James just kiss Josie and then go 'don't say anything' like a child molester?
What's up with Laura? Did Mario's psycho act just push him over the edge? Corin gave good advice then. I think she'd be good to turn to in a crisis. She must have been through the mill herself, she's younger than me and she's been widowed and gone lesbian. I barely leave the house.
Oh, Laura, just walk already. Get Tubbs in! You're not adding one single thing. In fact, you're taking away, as on the last live feed I watched I had to listen to yours and Jo's inane conversation instead of seeing some red-hot John and Josie whispering. Oh...
Is John James still giving it the 'brother/sister' nonsense?
Ben having a go at Josie trying to be sexy! Bad. Naughty Ben. I don't think John knew what he was saying; or he pretended not to.
I like Mario's multicoloured nails! I'm going to try that. Online game chat. It's all a bit IT crowd but without the lols.
Ah, Dave automatically up; the producers are obviously trying to get shot of him this week, and not before time. I don't think John James would get that punishment, do you?
NOMS! I'd love to see Rachel go this week. No wonder Andrew is scared of Steve; Steve could crush him with his thumb.
Corin is in Ben's pocket with that nomination for Rachel, methinks.
Perhaps John should have said to Ben what he said in the diary room about Ben. I wasn't even sure he'd understood it at the time. He should have stuck up for Josie to Ben's face.
Josie nominated Ben to clear the bed next to her and John James, basically.
Mario is really getting on my wick right now. The mole thing seems a long, long time ago.
Rachel just nominated the two biggest characters in the house. Dur.
Steve nommed John and Josie! He's probably worried they're getting more airtime than him.
Ooh, all males up this week! I really hope Dave goes. I'm glad Steve's up, that'll give him a little shock.
Big Brother, how about just not including 'inaudible' bits in the highlights? Or just make something up. Uh-oh, tantrum time again! ANGUISH! Oh, the agony. Just snog, idiots. I think John James is worried about what other people think. That's about it.
John James's heart to heart with his new BFF forever was so dumb. OMG did you check out his necklace? JJ2 is a failed boy band member, dressed by Cromwell's Madhouse.
JJ2 looked more bothered that John went walkies that Josie did. DON'T DO IT JOHN! HE'S NOT WORTH IT! Josie unphased: 'he'll be back in a minute'. LOL!
As if they'd let John James walk. He's our leading man.
JJ1: 'please understand!'
JJ2: 'I can't understand!' Moving stuff. Who are all these people in the runs? They look like ghostly figures; apparitions. There's strange people in Big Brother every day this week. I'd be concerned it's going to go all Dead Set.
John James tortured in a tunnel, crying. This is the stuff teenage girl's dreams are made of! Who needs R-Pattz?
Poor Josie. The pain is written all over her face. Make no mistake; John James is concerned with how this looks to the outside. I'm not saying his feelings for Josie aren't real; but his feelings for himself run stronger.
God, can you imagine these two in a real relationship? Bags would be packed and clothes thrown from windows on a daily basis.
John should back off from her if he's really not interested. And I already know they snog tomorrow. So it's clearly the most mixed signals ever. And Corin said those exact words as I wrote them.
Aliengate! Don't deny Roswell, Ben! I saw the film.
Pinnochio ought to try and carve out a role for themselves in the house that's not Littlejohn's bitch.
What is up with Mario? I think he's lost his mind. He comes in and stares Ben out. Poor Ben. He's right, Mario is being a total shit right now. I think he's realised he's not going to win it and become unhinged as a result.
Did John James just kiss Josie and then go 'don't say anything' like a child molester?
What's up with Laura? Did Mario's psycho act just push him over the edge? Corin gave good advice then. I think she'd be good to turn to in a crisis. She must have been through the mill herself, she's younger than me and she's been widowed and gone lesbian. I barely leave the house.
Oh, Laura, just walk already. Get Tubbs in! You're not adding one single thing. In fact, you're taking away, as on the last live feed I watched I had to listen to yours and Jo's inane conversation instead of seeing some red-hot John and Josie whispering. Oh...
Monday, 26 July 2010
Big Brother 11: If you want to live, get in the bedroom
Just spoke to my BF and she said 'I hate everyone in Big Brother. All of them.' 'What about Ben?' I asked. 'All of them.' she replied. 'But especially that new blonde one.'
I can't disagree, I am feeling everything from mild dislike to all out hatred for them too. We need a people's prince/ss.
Mario is BITTAH. I don't blame Ben for ditching Rachel. She's awful!
JJ wants to win anything, no matter what it is. World's biggest prick competition? Oh no, that's gone to old crab eyes. But at least he's handsome.
Rachel is coming off like a bunny boiler! There's less sexual chemistry between her and Ben than Ben and Dave.
24 task! Look at the tree's sparkly knobs! Fancy! Andrew is no Jack Bauer. Andrew enjoyed shouting at people! He likes swearing it up.
Dave pronounces tooth like we do at lightupvirginmary towers. TUTH! Andrew is good at this task. OMG this made me cry with laughter. Andrew is scary when he's angry! He's just freestyling the 'hands on your heads' stuff.
My respect for Andrew just went up a millionfold. 'That felt amazing!' LOL.
What is with Dave? Why is he stirring! It was clear what Ben said was a joke. Ben, why are you even bothering with Rachel? She's just a mouth unattached to a brain. Rachel, you're not his girlfriend. Is he not allowed to speak to a new person?
Dave saying Ben was 'on her like a cheap suit'. Gross.
JJ is NOT good looking. He looks like a confused chipmunk. Or 'like Toby Anstis infused with acorn DNA' ?! according to my boyfriend. He should write this shit, not me.
Rachel is so unendingly thick that if you gave her a book to read, she's probably try and eat it.
Andrew in the diary room! OUTSIDE PEOPLE! I give up. Do you think Andrew was enjoying that?! I think he needed a cold shower. Is he going to go jerk off?
Star jump tyranny! Andrew is a sadistic little fucker.
JJ and John James's 'friendship' is just a self-appreciation society. It's like wanking off in front of a mirror, like Jason from Nadia's year in BB admitted to once (vomit). It's tedious.
JJ: 'I didn't expect anyone to fancy me'. I'm not surprised with that munchkin mush.
Corin... don't you have a girlfriend? Naughty.
I can't disagree, I am feeling everything from mild dislike to all out hatred for them too. We need a people's prince/ss.
Mario is BITTAH. I don't blame Ben for ditching Rachel. She's awful!
JJ wants to win anything, no matter what it is. World's biggest prick competition? Oh no, that's gone to old crab eyes. But at least he's handsome.
Rachel is coming off like a bunny boiler! There's less sexual chemistry between her and Ben than Ben and Dave.
24 task! Look at the tree's sparkly knobs! Fancy! Andrew is no Jack Bauer. Andrew enjoyed shouting at people! He likes swearing it up.
Dave pronounces tooth like we do at lightupvirginmary towers. TUTH! Andrew is good at this task. OMG this made me cry with laughter. Andrew is scary when he's angry! He's just freestyling the 'hands on your heads' stuff.
My respect for Andrew just went up a millionfold. 'That felt amazing!' LOL.
What is with Dave? Why is he stirring! It was clear what Ben said was a joke. Ben, why are you even bothering with Rachel? She's just a mouth unattached to a brain. Rachel, you're not his girlfriend. Is he not allowed to speak to a new person?
Dave saying Ben was 'on her like a cheap suit'. Gross.
JJ is NOT good looking. He looks like a confused chipmunk. Or 'like Toby Anstis infused with acorn DNA' ?! according to my boyfriend. He should write this shit, not me.
Rachel is so unendingly thick that if you gave her a book to read, she's probably try and eat it.
Andrew in the diary room! OUTSIDE PEOPLE! I give up. Do you think Andrew was enjoying that?! I think he needed a cold shower. Is he going to go jerk off?
Star jump tyranny! Andrew is a sadistic little fucker.
JJ and John James's 'friendship' is just a self-appreciation society. It's like wanking off in front of a mirror, like Jason from Nadia's year in BB admitted to once (vomit). It's tedious.
JJ: 'I didn't expect anyone to fancy me'. I'm not surprised with that munchkin mush.
Corin... don't you have a girlfriend? Naughty.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Dave Ja Vu
JJ has got his name on his back! Is that in case he forgets it? Vain, boring, dull. These new housemates are getting on my nerves. Jo strikes me as insincere and possibly controlling. Laura is just nothingy, just telling them things she shouldn't and being pointless. They are draining the house. We need BIG personalities. It's just more dead wood.
John James and JJ's love-in is even duller than the one with Josie. Josie even seems jealous of THAT! Get a grip, love.
OMG JJ has been telling John James about his 'fans'! I hate this new housemate bullshit. I HATE it! They ruin the new dynamics of the house.
Ben being put out because he's not seem as a 'hunk' in the house. Come on, Ben, you're many things but you're not a hunk, I'm afraid. Mind you, nor's Pinnochio.
I hate all this macho bullshit. No one wanted to arm-wrestle when Ben wanted to.
Josie picking a bogie out of John James's nose! He didn't bat an eyelid! Andrew did though. I personally keep my finger out of other people's noses, no matter how much I fancy them.
Laura, you've been called in five times because you can't keep your mouth shut, you stupid bitch. Seriously, I'm pissed off with these new housemates.
This Dave ja vu task reminds me of my best friend in two ways. 1. She always laughs at the channel called Dave Ja Vu. 2. If I see her twice in a week, she'll tell me the same story both times. She's got the memory span of a gnat.
Mario is bitter because he wants a special little friend! Steve is bitter because he's lost his special little friend.
JJ trying to convince himself he likes Josie because John James does. Pathetic. Stop kissing arse. You wouldn't speak to Josie in a million years normally because you're deluded you're some kind of hot stuff and not just a shop mannequin (barely) come to life. He's just nothing on a stick.
Sweetie party! Mario is hiding in the toilet, waiting for someone to notice.
Steve is pissed off with the new housemates coming into HIS house. I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same. Rachel, Steve and Mario are so wrapped up in their own misery they can't really comfort each other.
Time for some double evictions!
John James and JJ's love-in is even duller than the one with Josie. Josie even seems jealous of THAT! Get a grip, love.
OMG JJ has been telling John James about his 'fans'! I hate this new housemate bullshit. I HATE it! They ruin the new dynamics of the house.
Ben being put out because he's not seem as a 'hunk' in the house. Come on, Ben, you're many things but you're not a hunk, I'm afraid. Mind you, nor's Pinnochio.
I hate all this macho bullshit. No one wanted to arm-wrestle when Ben wanted to.
Josie picking a bogie out of John James's nose! He didn't bat an eyelid! Andrew did though. I personally keep my finger out of other people's noses, no matter how much I fancy them.
Laura, you've been called in five times because you can't keep your mouth shut, you stupid bitch. Seriously, I'm pissed off with these new housemates.
This Dave ja vu task reminds me of my best friend in two ways. 1. She always laughs at the channel called Dave Ja Vu. 2. If I see her twice in a week, she'll tell me the same story both times. She's got the memory span of a gnat.
Mario is bitter because he wants a special little friend! Steve is bitter because he's lost his special little friend.
JJ trying to convince himself he likes Josie because John James does. Pathetic. Stop kissing arse. You wouldn't speak to Josie in a million years normally because you're deluded you're some kind of hot stuff and not just a shop mannequin (barely) come to life. He's just nothing on a stick.
Sweetie party! Mario is hiding in the toilet, waiting for someone to notice.
Steve is pissed off with the new housemates coming into HIS house. I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same. Rachel, Steve and Mario are so wrapped up in their own misery they can't really comfort each other.
Time for some double evictions!
Saturday, 24 July 2010
Big Brother 11: Showmancing the stone
If Ben and Rachel had a row last night, why didn't they show it? Too busy crawling up Andrew Stone's arse. Boo.
What different ways does Ben shower? With the watering can in the garden. Ben is under pressure tonight. I don't like it when they all have a pop at him.
Steve is pining for Keeley! That romance is OVER. OVER.
Rachel is being a right uppity bitch lately. Don't give Ben back-chat. Just let him take your bed and suck it up. I'm glad she got a wake up call when loads of the new housemates said she was annoying on those clips. Oh, and put your top on.
Shame Keeley's gone in a way as she exposed something in Steve, but she would have been out anyway this week. Needless to say, Steve's glass eye has been packed away.
John James/ Josie love-in. I don't get why they always say he doesn't fancy her, he clearly does. They are quite co-dependant. I reckon they'll probably snog within the next five days.
Look at Steve stroking Rachel's neck! It's very intimate. There's no physical barriers in that house, it's peculiar. Everyone is fair game for a bit of a frink.
Why do we have to sit through that 'performance' twice? I think my boyfriend put it best when he said 'they rehearsed that?'
WHY DIDNT JOEL GET IN??? JJ is useless, he's just a pointy little shrew. He started talking about football on the live feed as soon as he got in there. Tubbs would have been loads better. Democracy fail.
Poor Laura having to introduce herself with 'I'm so sorry'. Whoops. She reminds me of Shell from yesteryear. I fear Ben may still be lacking intellectual conversation as it's just more idiot holes.
Dave, lay off that champagne, save yourself for the Lord. Why are Ben and Dave crawling up Rachel's arse? She's higher up the pecking order than any new housemates anyway. They should fear her if anything.
Dave is being especially creepy tonight.
Mario saying JJ is beautiful. He was clearly left too long sitting in front of Pinnochio as a child. If you tap him on the head it would probably echo.
Laura is getting on my nerves already and Jo doesn't want to argue with anyone. What's the point?
Yeah John James doesn't fancy Josie, that's why he's put his football shirt on. Come on now, what do you want, a written invitation? JUST SNOG ALREADY.
The term 'cougar' is sexist bullshit. No wonder Dave keeps saying it.
WTF Laura comes in that house and says 'John James goes to the diary room saying this...' SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT, FFS. This new housemate stuff is bullshit, they can't keep their fucking traps shut.
I think Jo wants to be John James's bride, not Josie!
Aw to the 'I love you's. I'm a sucker for a showmance.
What different ways does Ben shower? With the watering can in the garden. Ben is under pressure tonight. I don't like it when they all have a pop at him.
Steve is pining for Keeley! That romance is OVER. OVER.
Rachel is being a right uppity bitch lately. Don't give Ben back-chat. Just let him take your bed and suck it up. I'm glad she got a wake up call when loads of the new housemates said she was annoying on those clips. Oh, and put your top on.
Shame Keeley's gone in a way as she exposed something in Steve, but she would have been out anyway this week. Needless to say, Steve's glass eye has been packed away.
John James/ Josie love-in. I don't get why they always say he doesn't fancy her, he clearly does. They are quite co-dependant. I reckon they'll probably snog within the next five days.
Look at Steve stroking Rachel's neck! It's very intimate. There's no physical barriers in that house, it's peculiar. Everyone is fair game for a bit of a frink.
Why do we have to sit through that 'performance' twice? I think my boyfriend put it best when he said 'they rehearsed that?'
WHY DIDNT JOEL GET IN??? JJ is useless, he's just a pointy little shrew. He started talking about football on the live feed as soon as he got in there. Tubbs would have been loads better. Democracy fail.
Poor Laura having to introduce herself with 'I'm so sorry'. Whoops. She reminds me of Shell from yesteryear. I fear Ben may still be lacking intellectual conversation as it's just more idiot holes.
Dave, lay off that champagne, save yourself for the Lord. Why are Ben and Dave crawling up Rachel's arse? She's higher up the pecking order than any new housemates anyway. They should fear her if anything.
Dave is being especially creepy tonight.
Mario saying JJ is beautiful. He was clearly left too long sitting in front of Pinnochio as a child. If you tap him on the head it would probably echo.
Laura is getting on my nerves already and Jo doesn't want to argue with anyone. What's the point?
Yeah John James doesn't fancy Josie, that's why he's put his football shirt on. Come on now, what do you want, a written invitation? JUST SNOG ALREADY.
The term 'cougar' is sexist bullshit. No wonder Dave keeps saying it.
WTF Laura comes in that house and says 'John James goes to the diary room saying this...' SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THAT, FFS. This new housemate stuff is bullshit, they can't keep their fucking traps shut.
I think Jo wants to be John James's bride, not Josie!
Aw to the 'I love you's. I'm a sucker for a showmance.
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