Monday, 9 August 2010

Big Brother 11: Once a cunt, always a cunt

Strap yourself in for another riveting rollercoaster of a show! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Jo's words of wisdom: 'once a cheat, always a cheat.' Next up; 'what goes around comes around', followed by 'everything happens for a reason'. Please. Kill. Me.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT JJ'S SEXLIFE, MATES OR ANYTHING ELSE. He's a prick, a boring dullard. Not interested. Waste of a housemate. Fuck up for the last series.
Dave's green T shirt watch: he's STILL wearing it. Vom.
Mario quoting Florence. Profound. The dog days continue!
Don't worry, Dave, six million people aren't watching this shit. Mainly because YOU'RE STILL IN IT, YOU CUNT. Judgemental dickwad.
JJ talking bollocks? This blog writes itself. I'd rather shag Andrew than JJ and I wholeheartedly mean that.
Space invaders. I'll take the crisps. Not the beef ones though. Or the spicy ones. Just the pickled onion ones. 15p you say? Swizz. Fuck this credit crunch. NB. You can give that boring bastard a task but it won't actually make him interesting. It might just add a bit of padding to his non-existent best bits.
JJ just made Jo cry by pretending she looked upset and then giving her a hug. Unusual.
OMG Dave thinks Jo is upset because SHE SAID SOMETHING SHE REGRETTED LAST NIGHT, not because he's a sanctimonious dog-fucker. I literally just screeched like a banshee at the TV. I ask again; WHY DID YOU KEEP THIS PERSON IN???
Has anyone even noticed Andrew's not there?
JJ's hand on Josie's leg made me cringe. JJ doesn't like women who talk back, so never fear, ladies. I know for a fact JJ wouldn't even spit on Josie if she was on fire in any other situation, he just has to be nice to her because she's John James's moll.
JJ getting a massage: 'I'm not gay!' Well you look it, except I like gay people, and they aren't sexist wankers. (NB. I should have got to the end of the blog before I said that *cough* Mario)
34 minutes in and that's the first time I've seen Sam Pepper! What are they doing to us?
John James is being flippant with Josie's feelings tonight. If it was a girl treating a bloke the way he treats her in there, I can only imagine the vilification she'd be getting. The effigies would be stacking up. She's better than him, and I like her friendship with Corin. I warm to Corin sometimes.
I want to start calling JJ 'Ver-JJ' but it's too sexist.
Jesus: Corin has been the model of patience for 60 days or so in that house, she snaps at Sam Pepper, who was basically put in there to be an irritant, and she's vilified. What rank hypocrisy!
Mario calling women 'birds'! Guess he won't mind me calling him a fag then! He does? He'd better say sorry then.
John James actually brought pictures of HIMSELF into the house? Lawks. Steve gave up earbuds. He clearly cares for Sam dearly. Put some clothes on now, Sam, your B*witched tattoo is getting old.
Oh shut up Dave, I wish someone would face swap you, surgically if needs be.
I actually really liked Corin tonight, that proves how slim the pickings are.
Sam Pepper FTW. At least he's honest in his cuntery.


Ossian said...

as you know i only read your reports, i have never seen the show. only a short while till i never have to worry about accidentally seeing those creepy nightvision pictures of people sleeping like pods waiting to hatch in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

but i will miss the blogs.

lightupvirginmary said...

I am honoured that you would read them when u don't follow the show. Sadist! :)