Wednesday 18 August 2010

Big Brother 11: Floodgate

If there was ever a metaphor for this year's BB it's surely the house falling to pieces before our VERY eyes. Hopefully the plague of locusts is due on Friday.
Eek that Bob Righter thing is scary as fuck. I'm going to have nightmares about him molesting me.
Bob Righter's predictions are too easy. Aren't they meant to act different? He didn't predict the day after tomorrow-style flash flood though, did he? DID HE? Who fitted that roof anyway? They need to get that Cowboy Builders dude in who looks like the Dungeon Master, quick smart.
Josie's wearing her Picasso's Etam range again.
So glad Corin used the word 'belittling' to describe Sam and John's behaviour. That's exactly what it is.
I can't WAIT for John James to go on Friday. He's been trying to destroy Corin's game for days on end now. He's hated her from day one, when he realised he fancied her and that wouldn't do. I'm so glad Josie sticks up for Corin.
It's funny how nominations don't exist any more and John James has gone back to his cunt self again. They should put use him for interrogation; he'd be great at torture techniques. And I have actually backed him for being an entertaining housemate up until now, but the attitude is out of control. He's lost the plot.
Pepper pot prick! LOL. Forsake your guyliner John James.
I heard JJ on live feed calling Cameron from years gone by boring. Personally, I'd rather fuck Cameron, and at least he was likeable.
John James, why don't you try not being a crabby little ballbag for a day? Oh you can't. That's your one setting.
Andrew/ Mario. Sexy times.
Josie on Sam being her butler: 'best day of my loife.'
George Lamb! Stood up by Josie. Hehe. If it'd been Archie it would have been another matter. That's one dirty laugh Josie's got. CHOOSE THE CRAB! Good old Josie, she didn't let us down. TTFN Laminator.
LOVE Josie lying to John James about the thong! Fucking love it. John james: 'I will not dress as that crab.' Two seconds later: dressed as crab. I like the fact they call 'crab eyes' the c-word. The crustacean that will not be mentioned!!!
How DID he know she was lying?! You put me in the... crabby position!
Given two choices: I'd choose the one that made John James look like a fuckwit, too.
He'd BETTER dress up as that crab or else.
John James will not be humilated on TV! Who's going to tell him?
Kick him out! Him in the crab costume would have been the best thing ever. Also, what about what he was saying to Corin earlier? Hypocrite! Ah, Corin just said it.
Dave did a funny: 'you're not much use to us alive, John?'
Oh John. Can't wait for you to leave this week. Sam muttering: 'crab eyes'. Funny.
So if Corin would have gone without make up, John would be in the crab suit right now? BULLSHIT!
At least Sam gave it to him a bit.
Anyway, isn't it the day when you do the opposite to what you normally do? Therefore; happy days with the crab suit.
Did JJ just disagree with John James? HOLD THE FRONT PAGE.
Everyone in there is DESPERATE to see him in the crab suit.
John James just cooked his own crab, there. The more he's revealed as a hypocrite, the louder he shouts.
What did Mario give Corin from down his pants? Was it a wrap of drugs? Maybe it's Phil's lost crack. Either way, she didn't seem that interested.
John James is on the warpath today. If he behaves like this on TV, can you imagine how he behaves with girlfriends behind closed doors?
John James, you deprived us of a classic Big Brother moment. You showed you're a humourless prick. Mario's right, you're a spent force. Call your mummy because your tea's ready. And we're done with you. (NB. If he does happen to stay in the UK and you ever see him scuttling down the street, be sure to shout 'crab eyes' at him)
Oh, he put it on! Hold on, didn't he say he'd rather suck Sam's dick? But did anyone call him crab eyes? I don't think so! Crab fail.
Let John James have a little swim in the pool.
I'd be scared if the house was flooding like that with all those electrics in there! Who built that fucking place? They need old skool Mario in there with his health and safety training. Don't put your brolly up indoors, Corin, it's bad luck. Was quite exciting when all this kicked off last night. Thought the show might be over!
I love the fact John James was wearing the crab suit whilst that all happened. Dear lord, I hope Corin's wigs are safe.
What's in the mystery box, a poncho?
Sam looks like he's going to be a page boy at a wedding.
I wonder where they got all the lilos from? They didn't even go to a hotel. They went to a portakabin. That's not much of a holiday. That was epic. Bed time.

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