Thursday 19 August 2010

Big Brother 11: 'I'm 24 years old... just tell me where my mum is'

Someone's ruined Sam's shoes. They cost FORTY quid. Who did it? Why didn't they show us? Who cares?
They are arguing from the second they wake up. Urgh I think I just saw Dave's knob.
The only problem JJ has with Corin is that she DIDN'T nominate his friend. Makes perfect sense. Why is this no-mark still in the house?
Sam's in cunt mode today. I thought Josie was one of his best friends in the house! Tuesday can't come soon enough. It all leaves a very bad taste in the mouth.
The housemates aren't acting very unpredictably. I could predict this bullshit out of my arse.
OMG are they really saying Corin and Josie are 'ganging' up on poor ickle 'I'm going to give you a night of hell' Sammy?
Stop telling Josie what to do, John! Prick!
Why DOES John James keep defending Sam, especially after showergate the other night! Weird. I think he sees him as cut from the same cloth. Yeah that would be the arsehole cloth.
Josie: 'why would I want to be with someone who treats a woman like that?' YES! The penny drops.
Why is ANDREW standing up for John James now?! Is it opposite day? I know it's supposed to be, but they've forgotten about that.
Oh Ben. You can't come soon enough. Why are they filming John James and Josie so close up? I don't want to see either of them that close.
Temporary diary room! LOL. Mario looks kinda cute today. I liked it when he minced through the garden. Aw, I like Mario again now he's the mole.
AW proper heartwarmer! Love Ben and Mario. Lush!
'Hello crab eyes!' Ace. Ben's hair looks amazing. He is a wondrous creature. He's a proper BB dreamboat! John having to eat that crab eyes cake was amazing. he's doing his wolf smile again.
John James is shitting himself now. And rightly so. Acting like he's doing Rachael a favour by letting her back in the house. He didn't even cuddle her- that was a frosty reception. I hope she breaks his back.
John James asking her if she did Nuts! Arsehole. Rachael's boobs look good. John James 'you're difficult!' Bastard!
Rachael should stamp on that cunt. Scratch him!
OMG he was so vile to her! That was unbelievable. 'Pay for sex?' Where did that come from? I can't wait for that wanker to get booed to fuck. She brings out his real personality, the real crab eyes. I'm glad Rachael didn't tell him she's going out with Nathan. She showed remarkable restraint. Ben's sly aside was fantastic.
Nathan is so vile. Why is Rachael even going out with him, he's gross. Nathan must be FUMING! I love it.
Why are they making Corin wear that binbag! Cruel. I liked the conversation she had with Nathan where she could finally be honest about her feelings about John James. I can't stand Nathan but she needed that. I felt for her then.
Yeah of course, John James knew about Nathan and Rachael. BOLLOCKS. Out comes the smile.
John James is worried! I love seeing him panicking under the surface. Corin finally stands up to him. I'm so glad she got that extra bit of power behind her. Take him down! I hope she jumps for joy when he scuttles out tomorrow.
Cue diary room and I want to leave. I mean LOL has never been more appropriate. John James has got exactly what he deserves.
I like the fact Corin is wearing the binbag still. John James: a right kipper! I hope Josie stays true to her word. He does hate women. He really does, and I can't even work out why.
Even JJ has written John off with the two days comment. 'I think I'm gonna leave right now... before I fall any deeper.'
John James doesn't feel safe! Aw diddums. I actually agree with him that it is a bit annihilating to bring people in with outside knowledge and fuck with him, but he built that castle of cuntery himself.
SEE YOU LATER JOHN. Take your emotional blackmail back to your mummy where she can tell you they're all just jealous because you're so wonderful.
I think Corin needs to play this smart now and not gloat too much. Why DID John James come out and brag about calling Racheal a slag, basically? What part of the gameplan was that?
John James: 'I'm 24 years old... where's my mum?' This is almost as good as Nasty Nick sobbing under the covers. This is just perfect.
OMG WHAT. John James wants to speak to Nathan? How about saying sorry to RACHAEL? Nathan's not her fucking keeper. What planet are we living on?
Corin is right. He's not sorry, he's just scared. I think 'I'm 24 years old... just tell me where my mum is' is probably my favourite line of the series.
Soon, my pretty, soon! Time to dress up that crab and serve it. To a baying mob.

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