Hello, is anybody there? Please come back, my three readers. I've missed you.
Guess who's back? Back again. I am, if you count frigging dial-up, which I don't. No broadband, no Sky, I may as well be DEAD. Don't even mention the Freeview box, or the Wireless Festival, because both have proved faulty (but I did take a cheeky pic of Russell Brand whilst watching Mozzy).
So, what have I missed? Jen, gone! Hurrah. New housemates! I missed an episode (shock!) but Sarah seems like a normal human being, and a genuine beauty unlike Jen. Maysoon- not sure yet, but seems OK. Belinda, Belinda, Belinda: fake like every luvvie I've ever known. Luke and Rebecca: getting even uglier personalities in the absence of their leader.
I thought tonights BB was utterly dull. Stuart had a cry- so what? You're not being 'portrayed' a certain way: you're just an utter prink. You can't help it, I suspect you were just born that way. Bad news for you, worse news for us viewers. Belinda's faux crying was quite embarrassing and Stuart fishing for how the outside feel about him was pathetic. They should just fly a plane over saying 'Stu = Twat'- that'd clear it up nicely.
Dale moaning about them putting make up on: he's normally first in the queue for the mascara.
Even the paper bags didn't amuse me. Sob. I hope Rex and Sarah have sex or something.
But the weird thing was: last night the live feed was cut for hours, and there were talks of a bomb scare/ drugs bust. Yet it wasn't mentioned at all. What's the deal? I demand answers, or I'll presume the cameras had to turn away due to Mario and Lisa shagging on the kitchen table whilst the others stood round chanting. And that can't be right.