My friend is voting to evict Wolfy tonight and she never votes! Enough said. Apparently the odds are really close between Hazel and Wolfy to go. I have voted to evict Wolfy three times. I'd like to see Hazel go up against Daley so it's less of a witch hunt.
I enjoyed the online live feed last night! Fell asleep watching it on my phone. Nice seeing their evening behaviours, especially Dexter and Charlie in bed together! Wait until Jackie finds out.
Ooh, Callum's spouting crap. Callum's 'why did no one like my advice' was his Big Brother highlight. Who's rattled his cage? The eviction, I guess.
Gina's system of referring to Hazel as 'H' is genius. Where does she come up with this code?!
I WISH we could get Jackie out tonight! Who dries up? Just leave things out and they dry!
What's up with Dan's hair?! Shepherd's pie gate. Fight, fight, fight! 'Bore off' indeed. Did Jack just say, 'why are you being so immature, age not shoe size.' Saying 'age not shoe size' is VERY mature, I'm sure you'll agree.
Ugh, save me speeches! I hate them. Callum: 'just a normal lad from down the road.' Zzzzz.
Wolfy's bringing entertainment into the 21st 'penitentiary.' She's our humble court jester - off with her head.
Dexter getting territorial over Charlie! Funny. What IS he talking about? Gina is basically laughing in his face.
Hazel's body looks good. Perhaps they're trying to keep her in?
LOL to Gina stirring it about Dexter. Ha, caught out! Dexter: 'don't start, Gina!' That was good.
Charlie's two tone hair makes it look greasy, and those Tina earrings are just gross. DOES Charlie like Dexter a bit?! I think she does. Dexter is wearing two pairs of sunglasses today. To go with his two girlfriends. Or none.
I'm tired of Emma being biased! She has been slating Hazel so bad on BOTS and the Jackie love is just unfathomable.
I hope Callum gets the least votes and not Jackie! That will be one in the eye for her.
Ooh, they're showing the nominations on the screen! Eek. Some good faces here. Ooh, Daley nominating Callum is going to hurt. That twin looked guilty as sin for nominating Wolfy. Wait until Callum sees Charley nominated him! What, they didn't even show that one, that would be the most interesting!
Detective Dan having a go at Dexter! Ha. SHUT UP DAN. Bad feelings!
Aw, Callum is safe, bless him. Cute seeing Dexter with his arm round him. Another woman will leave the BB house tonight! Honestly I'd be glad to the back of any of this three. Wish it was a double!
Wolfy's crying! Tee hee. WTF is Wolfy wearing in the DR? A wigwam isn't an outfit. Oh dear, Wolfy is doing Monopoly analogies. Contrived! And capitalist. The electric company is worth NOTHING! It's your arrogance that will see you hoofed out, Wolfy.
Wow, Jackie is DESPERATE to win! I bet Callum would LOVE to see the back of that bitch.
Dexter is courting Charlie again. He's got a twinkle in his eye.
I think someone has bet Callum to wear the most revolting clothes money could buy in that house. That can't really be to his taste.
Hazel on Dexter: 'I'm sure he'd be GREAT in bed.' Bitch! What does she do in bed, pout in the mirror?
Dan is upset because his BFF(ish) Hazel is going to leave. Cry me a river! So moving.
They didn't show much of the Dexter and Charlie thing, it was actually reasonably intimate!
OMG it was Wolfy! My votes counted. She must be REALLY hated to go against 'homewrecker' Hazel. Dan must be thrilled, I'm surprised he's not jumping on the couch.
Er, what just happened?! Why did it go to an ad break?! I want to see Wolfy get booed, not another fucking advert! What is going on? Techno-chronics.
There's a she wolf in the closet! Lock it. I like it when people come out and go 'is that all you got' to the booers.
Wolfy's not arsed! They've got the eye open, they normally have it shut. Wolfy; 'I got cheered when I went in and cheered in the first week.' But now we know you, we can't stand you.
I hate it when people say 'it's a gameshow.' That crowd are being gross, though.
What was Wolfy's gameplan? Quantum physics of the universe? Science, yo.
Nature told Wolfy to expect the unexpected. Is nature Julie Chen? Emma should have called her out on her nature, hippy, shamen bullshit.
Go twitch elsewhere, Wolfy. I'm glad they showed her up about her arrogance. Ha, they had to shut the eye because of the chav crowd.
The only thing I can say in Wolfy's defence is that she's young. But even so, I was young once. And I wasn't Wolfy. Wolfy, you don't deserve the wub wubs.
Oh no, they're making two more housemates immune from eviction next week! Who's it going to be? Ooh, they've paired them up. Dexter and Charley! Gina and Dan would be quite good, too. Either of those. I like the fact Gina wants to go back in and not give someone else a chance!
OMG Emma mentioned the live feed online! Are they backing it? Cool!
Showing posts with label wolfy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wolfy. Show all posts
Friday, 12 July 2013
Thursday, 11 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: I feel like it's unhygenic to pour it back
I've just been rocking out to the youtube of Smashing Pumpkins at Glastonbury, so I'm in a good mood, sure to be ruined by tonight's shenanigans. I think I might be having a Smashing Pumpkins revival like my Placebo revival. Maybe one day I'll like a new band? Probably not.
Anyway, onto another thing I never got over: Big Brother. Ooh, tonight's show looks quite promising.
Dan: 'what's a treasury chambers?' This guy was a policeman.
I like the idea of Dexter as a politician. That gold framed picture of him is AMAZING.
Charlie has got Tina from Corrie's earrings on tonight. Not sure if that's part of the task or not.
I WISH Jackie was going tomorrow, and she would if it was a vote to save. Funny how Jackie thinks Hazel and Daley are so NICE but she hates Callum so much. What's the deal?
I must admit, I am tired of this Hazel and Daley storyline, but I'm also sick of Wolfy spitting and sulking. Which is better, etc?
Dexter seems quite pleased that he's annoyed Hazel. What game is he playing? Yeah, Hazel, it's all DEXTER'S fault. Everything's someone else's fault and not yours.
Charlie looks like the politician outfit could be her own clothes.
I do fancy Dexter a bit in those glasses, it had to be said. Now, let's never speak of it again. Dexter is enjoying this task WAY too much! He needs to chill out. We've seen many a housemate get dethroned after going mad with power.
Twin cracked a funny! First time for everything.
Hazel not having to wear make-up isn't much of a punishment when you look like that. I'd rather die than pick through that alphabet soup.
Ha, they're tempting Gina in the DR with a manicure at the expense of the task. I knew Gina would go for it, because she's smart! Put Callum in there and he'd be umming and ahhing like a good 'un. I hate it when they're martyrs for the group. Fuck the group. The group cares for no one.
Hazel is over G&D coming back in when they'd voted them out. Well WE didn't vote them out, and WE spend our money to vote, so why don't you shut the fuck up? OK, ta.
Hazel doesn't like being called evil and a snake. She doesn't mind calling Dexter it, though.
Jack, Joe? I can't tell them apart. They're both cunts as far as I'm concerned.
Dexter, black people don't have spray tans. Do they? The make up artist actually did Gina's face the colour it is and she looks much prettier for it than her usual ghostly look. I love Gina, though, she can do what the hell she wants, who am I to argue?
Jackie hasn't got a CLUE about her housemates. She makes up her mind about people without taking the facts into account.
Is Jackie REALLY giving Dexter the 'she's the cat's mother' speech? Dear Lord! Oh Jackie, why don't you SHUT UP. I can't STAND THIS WOMAN. Dexter is so gracious when people are picking him apart! Imagine if he stood there doing that to them? There'd be hell to pay! Dexter aint opening the door for that bitch. And who can blame him?
Jackie's getting a bad edit tonight. Are they trying to get rid? I would happily see the back of her OR Wolfy.
Oh dear, they are going to take the fags off the housemates! This sounds like a perfect way to get rid of Wolfy! I sense a Nadia coming on. They are right to put the needs of 70% of housemates over the 30% who are smoking. But I'm sure more than 30% of these smoke. Either way, they're right.
Wolfy's FACE! Wow. Slapped arse doesn't cover it. Has Wolfy had an undercut? She looks like crap. Any goth in Northampton looks better than this bag of slop. Wolfy rules by intimidation!
Don't 'piggyfoot' round Wolfy! God, you'd think she was 14 years old! Grow up, woman! Keep digging, Wolfy, keep digging your grave, and make it a big one. I don't know why Dan is pandering to her, he hates her guts. He's probably just trying to wind her up.
Sam is confusing a bedsit and a bedside table. Even Callum doesn't seem to know what a bedsit is. Quick, rent these dickheads a flat, it will be a steal.
Wolfy is angrily wielding a knife. Hope she doesn't cut her fingers off (much).
Dexter likes fine wines, ha. LOL, he's taking his treat as well. Gotta love him and Gina. I don't get wine tasting. Why not just drink it? Chin chin!Ha to them taking the champagne, too!
The misery house taking some of the shopping budget for a party, too. No one understands Wolfy as usual! Boo woo.
OMG listen to the way Jackie speaks to Dexter, and the pointing! Revolting old crone. I love the fact Gina is just ignoring her.
Pipe down, Jackie. Gina's 'I think it's unhygienic to pour it back' could rank up there with top best excuses for nicking wine ever. Gina feels bad. Gina don't feel that bad.
Put it down the sink?!!! Are you mad, Hazel? What sort of dictatorship is this? Go on, Gina, stick it to her. 'Little bitch.' Ha!
Oh dear, why is Dexter having this conflab with Hazel? This is ill-advised! Oh, cringe, Dexter, stop talking! 'You look like a cold, heartless bitch.' Don't sit on the fence, Dexter. What about your hall pass?
I think Hazel looks better without her full war paint. She's still got quite a bit of make up on, though, to be honest. Dexter: 'you look loose'!!!!! OMG.
Callum's got his nipple pierced, groo.
Why is Daley calling Dexter sly? Dexter was looking out for him! Daley is making himself look a prat, all puffed up.
Dexter: 'some of the most disgustingly awkward moments I've ever watched on national television in my life.' When it's Dexter saying THIS to you, you're FUCKED. The game is up.
WOW, Dexter is really sticking it to her hard, Daley's girlfriend must be watching it cheering. I do agree with most of what he's saying, but really, is it his place to say it?
Why is Charlie encouraging Daley to go have a ruck with Dexter? Dexter's a maggot? What are you, then?! You're fucking pond life, Daley. Scum off the bottom of Dexter's Tuco shoes.
Daley you're on Big Brother, of course people are going to talk about 'you and her' (ie. the cat's mother). Daley, you're being a complete dick. I really hope you're up next week. 'You're my boy'. I don't think so. If I was Hazel I wouldn't hug Dexter after he called me disgusting, I'd fucking nut him.
Uh oh, mount Wolfy is about to blow. Is she going to ask to leave? Go on! Open the door for her. Kick her up the arse.
Why is Charlie trying to get info out of Dexter now, when she just shit-stirred that Daley/Hazel situation? I don't trust Charlie, you know. She does cause trouble. You don't get bags like that and that hangdog expression by being sweet and innocent. That's worry!
Haha, Charlie: 'I don't want to know now.' Yeah, right. Dexter is going to get nommed by EVERYONE next week.
Twin: 'the wrong people have been given too much power.' No, the wrong twins have been put in this show. Come back Samanda, Playboy twins and Jedward. We didn't know how good we had it.
Most people have slept in a train station at some point. Charlie is using Dexter as a whipping boy after Jackie's earlier beating.
Charlie, what loyalty do you have to Dexter, you put him up every week. Ha, Dexter telling Charlie he's got feelings for her! What planet is he on?! She didn't even blink! What does he see in her? I don't believe it either. Oh my God, Daley's sitting there, too. Poor Dexter.
Get off his BACK! No one else has to justify their existence like he does. It makes me sick! Charlie: 'Dexter, no offence, you look like the arsehole anyway.' NONE TAKEN!
Anyway, onto another thing I never got over: Big Brother. Ooh, tonight's show looks quite promising.
Dan: 'what's a treasury chambers?' This guy was a policeman.
I like the idea of Dexter as a politician. That gold framed picture of him is AMAZING.
Charlie has got Tina from Corrie's earrings on tonight. Not sure if that's part of the task or not.
I WISH Jackie was going tomorrow, and she would if it was a vote to save. Funny how Jackie thinks Hazel and Daley are so NICE but she hates Callum so much. What's the deal?
I must admit, I am tired of this Hazel and Daley storyline, but I'm also sick of Wolfy spitting and sulking. Which is better, etc?
Dexter seems quite pleased that he's annoyed Hazel. What game is he playing? Yeah, Hazel, it's all DEXTER'S fault. Everything's someone else's fault and not yours.
Charlie looks like the politician outfit could be her own clothes.
I do fancy Dexter a bit in those glasses, it had to be said. Now, let's never speak of it again. Dexter is enjoying this task WAY too much! He needs to chill out. We've seen many a housemate get dethroned after going mad with power.
Twin cracked a funny! First time for everything.
Hazel not having to wear make-up isn't much of a punishment when you look like that. I'd rather die than pick through that alphabet soup.
Ha, they're tempting Gina in the DR with a manicure at the expense of the task. I knew Gina would go for it, because she's smart! Put Callum in there and he'd be umming and ahhing like a good 'un. I hate it when they're martyrs for the group. Fuck the group. The group cares for no one.
Hazel is over G&D coming back in when they'd voted them out. Well WE didn't vote them out, and WE spend our money to vote, so why don't you shut the fuck up? OK, ta.
Hazel doesn't like being called evil and a snake. She doesn't mind calling Dexter it, though.
Jack, Joe? I can't tell them apart. They're both cunts as far as I'm concerned.
Dexter, black people don't have spray tans. Do they? The make up artist actually did Gina's face the colour it is and she looks much prettier for it than her usual ghostly look. I love Gina, though, she can do what the hell she wants, who am I to argue?
Jackie hasn't got a CLUE about her housemates. She makes up her mind about people without taking the facts into account.
Is Jackie REALLY giving Dexter the 'she's the cat's mother' speech? Dear Lord! Oh Jackie, why don't you SHUT UP. I can't STAND THIS WOMAN. Dexter is so gracious when people are picking him apart! Imagine if he stood there doing that to them? There'd be hell to pay! Dexter aint opening the door for that bitch. And who can blame him?
Jackie's getting a bad edit tonight. Are they trying to get rid? I would happily see the back of her OR Wolfy.
Oh dear, they are going to take the fags off the housemates! This sounds like a perfect way to get rid of Wolfy! I sense a Nadia coming on. They are right to put the needs of 70% of housemates over the 30% who are smoking. But I'm sure more than 30% of these smoke. Either way, they're right.
Wolfy's FACE! Wow. Slapped arse doesn't cover it. Has Wolfy had an undercut? She looks like crap. Any goth in Northampton looks better than this bag of slop. Wolfy rules by intimidation!
Don't 'piggyfoot' round Wolfy! God, you'd think she was 14 years old! Grow up, woman! Keep digging, Wolfy, keep digging your grave, and make it a big one. I don't know why Dan is pandering to her, he hates her guts. He's probably just trying to wind her up.
Sam is confusing a bedsit and a bedside table. Even Callum doesn't seem to know what a bedsit is. Quick, rent these dickheads a flat, it will be a steal.
Wolfy is angrily wielding a knife. Hope she doesn't cut her fingers off (much).
Dexter likes fine wines, ha. LOL, he's taking his treat as well. Gotta love him and Gina. I don't get wine tasting. Why not just drink it? Chin chin!Ha to them taking the champagne, too!
The misery house taking some of the shopping budget for a party, too. No one understands Wolfy as usual! Boo woo.
OMG listen to the way Jackie speaks to Dexter, and the pointing! Revolting old crone. I love the fact Gina is just ignoring her.
Pipe down, Jackie. Gina's 'I think it's unhygienic to pour it back' could rank up there with top best excuses for nicking wine ever. Gina feels bad. Gina don't feel that bad.
Put it down the sink?!!! Are you mad, Hazel? What sort of dictatorship is this? Go on, Gina, stick it to her. 'Little bitch.' Ha!
Oh dear, why is Dexter having this conflab with Hazel? This is ill-advised! Oh, cringe, Dexter, stop talking! 'You look like a cold, heartless bitch.' Don't sit on the fence, Dexter. What about your hall pass?
I think Hazel looks better without her full war paint. She's still got quite a bit of make up on, though, to be honest. Dexter: 'you look loose'!!!!! OMG.
Callum's got his nipple pierced, groo.
Why is Daley calling Dexter sly? Dexter was looking out for him! Daley is making himself look a prat, all puffed up.
Dexter: 'some of the most disgustingly awkward moments I've ever watched on national television in my life.' When it's Dexter saying THIS to you, you're FUCKED. The game is up.
WOW, Dexter is really sticking it to her hard, Daley's girlfriend must be watching it cheering. I do agree with most of what he's saying, but really, is it his place to say it?
Why is Charlie encouraging Daley to go have a ruck with Dexter? Dexter's a maggot? What are you, then?! You're fucking pond life, Daley. Scum off the bottom of Dexter's Tuco shoes.
Daley you're on Big Brother, of course people are going to talk about 'you and her' (ie. the cat's mother). Daley, you're being a complete dick. I really hope you're up next week. 'You're my boy'. I don't think so. If I was Hazel I wouldn't hug Dexter after he called me disgusting, I'd fucking nut him.
Uh oh, mount Wolfy is about to blow. Is she going to ask to leave? Go on! Open the door for her. Kick her up the arse.
Why is Charlie trying to get info out of Dexter now, when she just shit-stirred that Daley/Hazel situation? I don't trust Charlie, you know. She does cause trouble. You don't get bags like that and that hangdog expression by being sweet and innocent. That's worry!
Haha, Charlie: 'I don't want to know now.' Yeah, right. Dexter is going to get nommed by EVERYONE next week.
Twin: 'the wrong people have been given too much power.' No, the wrong twins have been put in this show. Come back Samanda, Playboy twins and Jedward. We didn't know how good we had it.
Most people have slept in a train station at some point. Charlie is using Dexter as a whipping boy after Jackie's earlier beating.
Charlie, what loyalty do you have to Dexter, you put him up every week. Ha, Dexter telling Charlie he's got feelings for her! What planet is he on?! She didn't even blink! What does he see in her? I don't believe it either. Oh my God, Daley's sitting there, too. Poor Dexter.
Get off his BACK! No one else has to justify their existence like he does. It makes me sick! Charlie: 'Dexter, no offence, you look like the arsehole anyway.' NONE TAKEN!
Wednesday, 10 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: Pipe down, fatty
Well tonight's show has already been ruined for me by BOTS, so thanks for the warning! What an anti-climatic way to bring Dexter and Gina back into the house, and also they made a sucky choice of who to save. What's the point in saving Charlie if you're going to piss her off at the same time by putting psycho mummy up? Bad strategy! I HATE Jackie. I wish they'd saved Callum, he could have done with a boost.
Hazel, stop clinging to Daley, you're making a fool of yourself and you're going to get kicked out this week. I am still holding out the flame of hope for Wolfy to go. I'll be voting to evict Wolfy thrice! But the Martin Bashir style interview with Daley's GF on BOTS was pretty much Hazel's game packed up and shipped back to Ireland. Don't get me wrong; I felt for Daley's pretty, crying girlfriend. But I STILL want Wolfy out! Also, the 'burn the witch' Hazel stuff gets on my wick. Burn DALEY!
Ooh, Callum is having a go at Wolfy for saying she was going to win! At last someone said it. Wolfy still wouldn't backtrack on it. There's a 'fine line between confidence and arrogance.' You're over it.
Wolfy on winning: 'we'll see.' Yes, we will. You're not gonna. Why are Callum and Wolfy bickering? Good on you, Callum, for saying what we're thinking, anyway. I don't know why they didn't save you instead of Charley. Why won't Wolfy just wake up and get a little humble? Is she pig-headed or just stupid?
Why are Gina and Dexter copping out on this decision?! I'm disappointed in them! Oh, so they chose Charlie on the basis of purely being able to put up with her in the safe house more! Trust these two. Why doesn't Dexter want to be in a confined space with Callum? Is he scared the high street clothing might rub off? Gina's right, the room IS pink. Biased for a girl to go in *sexist*.
Oh, there's a jacuzzi. I don't care. Oh, it's a pool. Can't do many laps in that pool!
Hazel's tone of voice when she said 'Gina and Dexter'. Ha! Not so much glee as a grimace. They were definitely more excited about the paddling pool that the returnees. Not such much as a sniff of fight night.
Dexter: 'there's a lot of business to attend to.' Callum: nodding dog.
Shouldn't Jackie be HAPPY that Charlie is safe, rather than bitter that she's on the block?! Jackie, you're her mum, wouldn't you catch a grenade for her?! Fame hungry or what? This woman is unbelievable.
Dexter LOVED imparting that news! Jackie's sour face. Dexter: 'the public were voting to save me and Gina.' *Rubs it in*.
I'm glad Gina gave Callum a crumb of comfort and said she was backing him 100%. He needed that. Dexter is stirring! Daley looks mad.
Detective Dan patting himself on the back! Well, we knew it would happen.
Daley backtracking about the girlfriend. Dexter 'we'll chat later.' Ominous! Dexter, don't blow it. Don't act too cocky now.
Hazel is right; the public are watching. And they've been sharpening their pitchforks. Daley; get your hands of Hazel's buttons.
Gina to twin: 'I always knew you were bitchy.' Ha! He didn't KNOW?! He's rude as fuck. If I was in there I'd just front it out and stand by everything I said. If you can't take the heat, shut your mouth!
Dexter: 'eat the cake.' Daley has got Big Brother brain! Marcus, the IDH, developed this virus back in the day, and since then it's spread to the loins of many a male housemate.
Dan is thrilled he's not come across like a tool on the feed and he didn't say anything damaging. He's 'pleased to see them both' - yeah, if you say so, Dan. He likes Dexter now? Dan 'knew it'. What about all the things Dan thought he knew but didn't? Dan was lucky that this was the first week he hadn't been acting like a complete prick.
I'm not sure Jackie IS happy for you, Charlie! I think she's more worried about her own skin.
Dexter calling Dan lovely! Ha, he'd 'rather not comment' on Hazel. That says it all!
Good on Gina saying 'it's not right' to Daley about his girlfriend! She's not on that fence whatsoever. 'I couldn't watch at some points.' I love her. I want Daley to shit himself. If that's how Gina felt, how must his girlfriend have felt? Oh, we know from the Princess Di interview last night.
Wolfy: 'Boom, it's showtime. I might be all about love and harmony.' WHEN? You're about as much about love and harmony as... er, me.
Sam is the WORST person to bitch to. He gives you NOTHING back. Jackie is FINE.
Dexter telling Daley to 'look like a man'! Haha. Oh god, taking relationship advice from Dexter. Dear, oh dear. Dexter loves his girlfriend, but would have took it further by now if he knew his girlfriend had dumped him. This guy is ALL CHARM. That's REAL LOVE right there. How romantic!
OMG, stop press, Sam speaks! 'What they're doing is proper disrespectful' about Daley and Hazel. 'She's trying to steal someone's boyfriend.' That's the most honest thing I've heard him say. Thank God! He does have a brain and eyes. He has an opinion! More of it, please. Dan is trying to defend Hazel but 'he'd rather not get involved.' Probably wise, to be honest. Wow, Sam. You just went up in my estimation by a mile. By saying two sentences. Imagine if he said a whole paragraph?
Daley: 'for fuck's sake, what have I done?' Too late now! Princess Di is leaving the country. Your shit is probably in bin bags on your lawn. Daley if you love your girlfriend, why don't you walk and tell her? Oh I know why, because you're a fame whore.
It's annoying the way Dexter and Gina are hinting at things. Just say them or don't!
Dan is finally speaking out to Hazel, two days too late. 'I'd hate for you to leave under a cloud.' TOO LATE. Why did no one speak up two days ago! 'You don't want to be known as that girl.' TOO LATE.
Did Dan really say 'maybe on Friday it would be good if you go?' at the end. Wow! Hazel, I hate to break this to you, but it's too late. You're done, and you've fucking saved Wolfy. And for that, I hate you more than Daley's girlfriend does.
Hazel, stop clinging to Daley, you're making a fool of yourself and you're going to get kicked out this week. I am still holding out the flame of hope for Wolfy to go. I'll be voting to evict Wolfy thrice! But the Martin Bashir style interview with Daley's GF on BOTS was pretty much Hazel's game packed up and shipped back to Ireland. Don't get me wrong; I felt for Daley's pretty, crying girlfriend. But I STILL want Wolfy out! Also, the 'burn the witch' Hazel stuff gets on my wick. Burn DALEY!
Ooh, Callum is having a go at Wolfy for saying she was going to win! At last someone said it. Wolfy still wouldn't backtrack on it. There's a 'fine line between confidence and arrogance.' You're over it.
Wolfy on winning: 'we'll see.' Yes, we will. You're not gonna. Why are Callum and Wolfy bickering? Good on you, Callum, for saying what we're thinking, anyway. I don't know why they didn't save you instead of Charley. Why won't Wolfy just wake up and get a little humble? Is she pig-headed or just stupid?
Why are Gina and Dexter copping out on this decision?! I'm disappointed in them! Oh, so they chose Charlie on the basis of purely being able to put up with her in the safe house more! Trust these two. Why doesn't Dexter want to be in a confined space with Callum? Is he scared the high street clothing might rub off? Gina's right, the room IS pink. Biased for a girl to go in *sexist*.
Oh, there's a jacuzzi. I don't care. Oh, it's a pool. Can't do many laps in that pool!
Hazel's tone of voice when she said 'Gina and Dexter'. Ha! Not so much glee as a grimace. They were definitely more excited about the paddling pool that the returnees. Not such much as a sniff of fight night.
Dexter: 'there's a lot of business to attend to.' Callum: nodding dog.
Shouldn't Jackie be HAPPY that Charlie is safe, rather than bitter that she's on the block?! Jackie, you're her mum, wouldn't you catch a grenade for her?! Fame hungry or what? This woman is unbelievable.
Dexter LOVED imparting that news! Jackie's sour face. Dexter: 'the public were voting to save me and Gina.' *Rubs it in*.
I'm glad Gina gave Callum a crumb of comfort and said she was backing him 100%. He needed that. Dexter is stirring! Daley looks mad.
Detective Dan patting himself on the back! Well, we knew it would happen.
Daley backtracking about the girlfriend. Dexter 'we'll chat later.' Ominous! Dexter, don't blow it. Don't act too cocky now.
Hazel is right; the public are watching. And they've been sharpening their pitchforks. Daley; get your hands of Hazel's buttons.
Gina to twin: 'I always knew you were bitchy.' Ha! He didn't KNOW?! He's rude as fuck. If I was in there I'd just front it out and stand by everything I said. If you can't take the heat, shut your mouth!
Dexter: 'eat the cake.' Daley has got Big Brother brain! Marcus, the IDH, developed this virus back in the day, and since then it's spread to the loins of many a male housemate.
Dan is thrilled he's not come across like a tool on the feed and he didn't say anything damaging. He's 'pleased to see them both' - yeah, if you say so, Dan. He likes Dexter now? Dan 'knew it'. What about all the things Dan thought he knew but didn't? Dan was lucky that this was the first week he hadn't been acting like a complete prick.
I'm not sure Jackie IS happy for you, Charlie! I think she's more worried about her own skin.
Dexter calling Dan lovely! Ha, he'd 'rather not comment' on Hazel. That says it all!
Good on Gina saying 'it's not right' to Daley about his girlfriend! She's not on that fence whatsoever. 'I couldn't watch at some points.' I love her. I want Daley to shit himself. If that's how Gina felt, how must his girlfriend have felt? Oh, we know from the Princess Di interview last night.
Wolfy: 'Boom, it's showtime. I might be all about love and harmony.' WHEN? You're about as much about love and harmony as... er, me.
Sam is the WORST person to bitch to. He gives you NOTHING back. Jackie is FINE.
Dexter telling Daley to 'look like a man'! Haha. Oh god, taking relationship advice from Dexter. Dear, oh dear. Dexter loves his girlfriend, but would have took it further by now if he knew his girlfriend had dumped him. This guy is ALL CHARM. That's REAL LOVE right there. How romantic!
OMG, stop press, Sam speaks! 'What they're doing is proper disrespectful' about Daley and Hazel. 'She's trying to steal someone's boyfriend.' That's the most honest thing I've heard him say. Thank God! He does have a brain and eyes. He has an opinion! More of it, please. Dan is trying to defend Hazel but 'he'd rather not get involved.' Probably wise, to be honest. Wow, Sam. You just went up in my estimation by a mile. By saying two sentences. Imagine if he said a whole paragraph?
Daley: 'for fuck's sake, what have I done?' Too late now! Princess Di is leaving the country. Your shit is probably in bin bags on your lawn. Daley if you love your girlfriend, why don't you walk and tell her? Oh I know why, because you're a fame whore.
It's annoying the way Dexter and Gina are hinting at things. Just say them or don't!
Dan is finally speaking out to Hazel, two days too late. 'I'd hate for you to leave under a cloud.' TOO LATE. Why did no one speak up two days ago! 'You don't want to be known as that girl.' TOO LATE.
Did Dan really say 'maybe on Friday it would be good if you go?' at the end. Wow! Hazel, I hate to break this to you, but it's too late. You're done, and you've fucking saved Wolfy. And for that, I hate you more than Daley's girlfriend does.
Tuesday, 9 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: Water guns - that would piss me off
Dear Big Brother, just show Dexter's face when he picks up that phone for an hour, it's preferable to Wolfy gobbing on the floor. Does a someone really sleep with this girl? And why haven't we seen Wolfy's girlfriend on anything? I can only assume it's because she's too ashamed to show her face.
Of course Hazel's being nice to Callum, he's powering the straighteners for her with his bike.
Sheep and lemmings is right. Dexter is trying to work out what the moral of him and Gina being put in the safe house is. I think it's just to make them look like pricks, isn't it? I don't really care what they say or do. They rule!
Oh, shut up, Jackie, you old cow. You don't care what anyone thinks but you won't say shit to Callum's face. Jackie: 'was I bad last night?' Charlie: 'Well...' Jackie: 'Oh, what are you talking about?' You asked!!! Did Callum hear what they said?
Jackie's true self is coming out now, a meddling mess. Bottle, bottle, bottle, bottle, bang is right. Hazel smirking at Jackie and Charlie arguing.
Marcus Bentley: 'Jack and Joe are interminable.' He didn't say it, but that's what I like to imagine he was thinking.
Dexter is feeling stronger in himself now. Good, they did grind him down. They had a go!
Daley: 'the next person I'm with, that's it.' You girlfriend will be pleased to hear the news. I don't know what either of them see in him, he's so nothingy and entitled. Total dog.
Callum is being creepy to Hazel. Look at his body! Groo. Charlie's finally had enough of her mum. I was fed up with her from launch night. Both of them, actually.
Callum is wearing Mr Byrite's 1993 summer collection. I think he thinks he's on holiday in Magaluf. He probably wishes he'd booked that ticket instead.
You HAVE crossed the line, Hazel. Several times. I wish it was a double eviction and we could get rid of hippy knickers and the SKET this week, although I don't know what that is, but Gina just spelt it. I'm guessing it's a slut? I don't use the word slut to describe women personally, but Gina know the girl code, so it must be OK (!).
Ahhhhh, another shit stirring task. I thought we hadn't had one for a while. Dexter and Gina have to insert housemates names into pre-written headlines. As if any real tabloids are writing about Big Brother (except the Daily Star's stream of salacious nonsense).
Dexter just used the word 'manhood' in a sentence. I know it's a tabloid task, but still. Ha, good choice making Daley paranoid. Hazel is a ssssssssssssnake.
Gina: 'that's wonky.' WOLFY is the biggest BB fake ever! Haha. JUDAS.
Why are they giving Sophie an indication she's going to the final? Aw, poor Callum being labelled the dullest. Actually, he's NOT dull! I find the unraveling of his polyester-clad facade quite tragic and definitely watchable. Sam is WAY duller.
If I stood in Wolfy's spit or worse still sat in it, I would go postal. Surely her spitting is a health and safety issue?! Can't she get a warning for it? Dennis got removed for it!
Dexter should have given a couple of nasty headlines to the twins, Jackie and Charlie.
Gina laughing at 'Hazel's too obvious' for the naughty pics, ha! Ha, Dan admitting he's sent them in the past.
Callum on the 'Dexter thinks Hazel's a snake' comment; 'it's just an opinion.' Well ANYTHING is just an opinion, isn't it? Dexter put those legs away. Ooh, Hazel looks furious.
See how quickly Twinny said 'Callum' to 'blank is biggest BB fake ever'? The sentence was barely finished! Everything Wolfy says is sarcastic and defensive. It's so tiring. Yes Wolfy, the 'public' thinks you're fake because 'you don't dress like a hippy every day' not because of your pretending to talk to animals and all the other bullshit things you do. Get a grip, girl! Reality check required in aisle one.
I hope Sophie doesn't think she's going win now. We wouldn't want another Wolfy situation on our hands. She didn't look very comfortable with the compliment anyway.
OMG Dexter and Gina laughing at Wolfy's squint! It's true, she does visibly twitch, though! That is NOT going to go down well with the haters. Never mind.
Hazel has got the proper hump about this task. I hope she gets really paranoid now, not that we'll be able to tell the difference.
I bet the housemates who didn't get headlines aren't really relieved; and I thought it was better to be talked about than not, Wolfy? Contradicting yourself again? Never!
Wolfy vs Charlie, ding ding! If I was Jackie I'd tell Wolfy to STFU.
More noms talk! Zzz. They need to give them a real punishment, not this jail crap.
I don't consider water guns a treat, either. I used to use a water pistol to chase away a cat that used to come through my cat flap. It wasn't fun; it was warfare.
Ha, Gina does snore! Sam's jokes: fail.
Wolfy's not going to stop spitting, cos she doesn't give a fuck what the public think about that. Charming. You're right, you do need to step up your game. She's like a football hooligan in that Diary Room. Blah, blah, she doesn't like Charlie. Charlie isn't even interesting enough to have a war with. Wolfy: 'it aint over yet.' Let's hope it is on Friday.
Dexter on killing a fly: 'sorry Wolfy.' I killed a fly at work the other day just cos someone sent me a shitty email. I did feel bad about it afterwards, though. Sometimes you gotta vent your spleeeeeeeeeen.
UGH why is Daley ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HIS WILLY? He's worse than Sam! I thought 'you make my willy expand' (which my boyfriend keeps quoting!) was a low point, little did we know we were just touching the tip of the... I'm going to end that sentence right there.
Is Hazel licking her lips at Daley? She only wants what she can't have! The minute she gets him she'll be bored out of her brain. She's like a praying mantis right now. Let's not dwell on Daley's 'area'.
Callum: sponsored by Lacoste. I remember thinking Lacoste was naff when my brother's friend used to wear it when I was about 13. The brand hasn't exactly moved on.
Jackie's shocked face when Charlie was up. Ha. Hazel; you should be worried, especially if Dexter and Gina save Wolfy. You'll be fucked. Because of course, that would be the strategic move. Save Wolfy, watch Hazel get the boot, and have Wolfy as the sitting duck next week. But do these two have the nous to work it out? I think Dexter does, but I don't think Gina's gonna go for saving Wolfy.
Charlie: 'it is what it is, it is what it is, it is what it is.' I hate this statement - which means NOTHING - enough when someone says it once. Three times is just aggravating.
Jack and Joe are such hypocrites pretending to be friends with Wolfbag even though they nominated her.
Callum's leg is going like the clappers. He's doing that one expression he does. 'Weeeeeeeeellll....' You never see Charlie and Callum talk anymore.
Jackie, wouldn't you walk with your daughter? Course she wouldn't; she's desperate for the limelight.
Dexter is life-coaching Gina. Gina is humouring him. Ha, he's telling her not to be so vain. I want them to start bickering. 'Slum yourself down.'
Gina is explaining what it is to be a woman to Dexter. Well, he had the stockings.
Dexter is very smart saying 'we shouldn't use this power irresponsibly.' Gina is going to go back in and do whatever the hell she likes, let's be honest.
Oh, is this one of those conversations where you use the word 'cuddle' to mean 'sex' (Hazel and Daley, not Dexter and Gina). How could you ever trust that slimebag Daley? I wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him!
Charley; who's hat are you wearing, Freddie Krueger's? Wolfy, why don't you tell Charlie what you said in the DR? Oh I know! Cos you're about as real as the Easter Bunny. You haven't got the guts to say it to her face.
PS: Firefox is a bag of shit. Goodbye.
Of course Hazel's being nice to Callum, he's powering the straighteners for her with his bike.
Sheep and lemmings is right. Dexter is trying to work out what the moral of him and Gina being put in the safe house is. I think it's just to make them look like pricks, isn't it? I don't really care what they say or do. They rule!
Oh, shut up, Jackie, you old cow. You don't care what anyone thinks but you won't say shit to Callum's face. Jackie: 'was I bad last night?' Charlie: 'Well...' Jackie: 'Oh, what are you talking about?' You asked!!! Did Callum hear what they said?
Jackie's true self is coming out now, a meddling mess. Bottle, bottle, bottle, bottle, bang is right. Hazel smirking at Jackie and Charlie arguing.
Marcus Bentley: 'Jack and Joe are interminable.' He didn't say it, but that's what I like to imagine he was thinking.
Dexter is feeling stronger in himself now. Good, they did grind him down. They had a go!
Daley: 'the next person I'm with, that's it.' You girlfriend will be pleased to hear the news. I don't know what either of them see in him, he's so nothingy and entitled. Total dog.
Callum is being creepy to Hazel. Look at his body! Groo. Charlie's finally had enough of her mum. I was fed up with her from launch night. Both of them, actually.
Callum is wearing Mr Byrite's 1993 summer collection. I think he thinks he's on holiday in Magaluf. He probably wishes he'd booked that ticket instead.
You HAVE crossed the line, Hazel. Several times. I wish it was a double eviction and we could get rid of hippy knickers and the SKET this week, although I don't know what that is, but Gina just spelt it. I'm guessing it's a slut? I don't use the word slut to describe women personally, but Gina know the girl code, so it must be OK (!).
Ahhhhh, another shit stirring task. I thought we hadn't had one for a while. Dexter and Gina have to insert housemates names into pre-written headlines. As if any real tabloids are writing about Big Brother (except the Daily Star's stream of salacious nonsense).
Dexter just used the word 'manhood' in a sentence. I know it's a tabloid task, but still. Ha, good choice making Daley paranoid. Hazel is a ssssssssssssnake.
Gina: 'that's wonky.' WOLFY is the biggest BB fake ever! Haha. JUDAS.
Why are they giving Sophie an indication she's going to the final? Aw, poor Callum being labelled the dullest. Actually, he's NOT dull! I find the unraveling of his polyester-clad facade quite tragic and definitely watchable. Sam is WAY duller.
If I stood in Wolfy's spit or worse still sat in it, I would go postal. Surely her spitting is a health and safety issue?! Can't she get a warning for it? Dennis got removed for it!
Dexter should have given a couple of nasty headlines to the twins, Jackie and Charlie.
Gina laughing at 'Hazel's too obvious' for the naughty pics, ha! Ha, Dan admitting he's sent them in the past.
Callum on the 'Dexter thinks Hazel's a snake' comment; 'it's just an opinion.' Well ANYTHING is just an opinion, isn't it? Dexter put those legs away. Ooh, Hazel looks furious.
See how quickly Twinny said 'Callum' to 'blank is biggest BB fake ever'? The sentence was barely finished! Everything Wolfy says is sarcastic and defensive. It's so tiring. Yes Wolfy, the 'public' thinks you're fake because 'you don't dress like a hippy every day' not because of your pretending to talk to animals and all the other bullshit things you do. Get a grip, girl! Reality check required in aisle one.
I hope Sophie doesn't think she's going win now. We wouldn't want another Wolfy situation on our hands. She didn't look very comfortable with the compliment anyway.
OMG Dexter and Gina laughing at Wolfy's squint! It's true, she does visibly twitch, though! That is NOT going to go down well with the haters. Never mind.
Hazel has got the proper hump about this task. I hope she gets really paranoid now, not that we'll be able to tell the difference.
I bet the housemates who didn't get headlines aren't really relieved; and I thought it was better to be talked about than not, Wolfy? Contradicting yourself again? Never!
Wolfy vs Charlie, ding ding! If I was Jackie I'd tell Wolfy to STFU.
More noms talk! Zzz. They need to give them a real punishment, not this jail crap.
I don't consider water guns a treat, either. I used to use a water pistol to chase away a cat that used to come through my cat flap. It wasn't fun; it was warfare.
Ha, Gina does snore! Sam's jokes: fail.
Wolfy's not going to stop spitting, cos she doesn't give a fuck what the public think about that. Charming. You're right, you do need to step up your game. She's like a football hooligan in that Diary Room. Blah, blah, she doesn't like Charlie. Charlie isn't even interesting enough to have a war with. Wolfy: 'it aint over yet.' Let's hope it is on Friday.
Dexter on killing a fly: 'sorry Wolfy.' I killed a fly at work the other day just cos someone sent me a shitty email. I did feel bad about it afterwards, though. Sometimes you gotta vent your spleeeeeeeeeen.
UGH why is Daley ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HIS WILLY? He's worse than Sam! I thought 'you make my willy expand' (which my boyfriend keeps quoting!) was a low point, little did we know we were just touching the tip of the... I'm going to end that sentence right there.
Is Hazel licking her lips at Daley? She only wants what she can't have! The minute she gets him she'll be bored out of her brain. She's like a praying mantis right now. Let's not dwell on Daley's 'area'.
Callum: sponsored by Lacoste. I remember thinking Lacoste was naff when my brother's friend used to wear it when I was about 13. The brand hasn't exactly moved on.
Jackie's shocked face when Charlie was up. Ha. Hazel; you should be worried, especially if Dexter and Gina save Wolfy. You'll be fucked. Because of course, that would be the strategic move. Save Wolfy, watch Hazel get the boot, and have Wolfy as the sitting duck next week. But do these two have the nous to work it out? I think Dexter does, but I don't think Gina's gonna go for saving Wolfy.
Charlie: 'it is what it is, it is what it is, it is what it is.' I hate this statement - which means NOTHING - enough when someone says it once. Three times is just aggravating.
Jack and Joe are such hypocrites pretending to be friends with Wolfbag even though they nominated her.
Callum's leg is going like the clappers. He's doing that one expression he does. 'Weeeeeeeeellll....' You never see Charlie and Callum talk anymore.
Jackie, wouldn't you walk with your daughter? Course she wouldn't; she's desperate for the limelight.
Dexter is life-coaching Gina. Gina is humouring him. Ha, he's telling her not to be so vain. I want them to start bickering. 'Slum yourself down.'
Gina is explaining what it is to be a woman to Dexter. Well, he had the stockings.
Dexter is very smart saying 'we shouldn't use this power irresponsibly.' Gina is going to go back in and do whatever the hell she likes, let's be honest.
Oh, is this one of those conversations where you use the word 'cuddle' to mean 'sex' (Hazel and Daley, not Dexter and Gina). How could you ever trust that slimebag Daley? I wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him!
Charley; who's hat are you wearing, Freddie Krueger's? Wolfy, why don't you tell Charlie what you said in the DR? Oh I know! Cos you're about as real as the Easter Bunny. You haven't got the guts to say it to her face.
PS: Firefox is a bag of shit. Goodbye.
Monday, 8 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: I think she might need a hand with her nominations
Ooh, noms tonight. Looks like Callum could be in some bother. As long as they vote Wolfy, I don't care.
Dexter and Gina - aka the high five crew - are having fun in the safe house.
Wolfy's banging on about 'energy.' Let's hope her bulb goes out tonight.
Noms time already! Twins nomming Charlie. Ooh, also Wolfy. Good. Why are the twins talking in unison, they don't normally.
Callum has nommed Wolfy, too. Her game is up, Everyone's pissed off with her saying she was going to win. Ooh, Callum nominated Hazel, not Dan. Good. Keep Dan in!
Dan is right about Wolfy - she is disingenuous. Ooh, Dan nominated Callum for his awkward niceness. Ha, Gina is not impressed. 'Callum is not hard to live with.' Unless you're anti 90s beach wear.
Sam nommed Wolfy! Ha, he called her 'rude, ignorant and arrogant.' Wicked. He also nominated Sophiezzzzzz. His reason seemed quite valid.
Dexter's 'I think she might need a hand with her nominations' about the injured Jackie was inspired. I love that boy. Jackie's after Wolfy blood, for spitting on this occasion. Wolfy's got a whole range of reasons from each and every housemate to be up. Could we even see her walk? Ah! Jackie's nominating Callum! Why am I not surprised? Old witch. Callum is one of her daughters best allies. Bad strategy. Gina: 'whatever. Just go home.' That's how I feel about Jackie, but she'll still be sitting there in the final with the Weeble twins and Sophie. YAWN!
I have the same toaster as the BB housemates, but in blue. Wolfy is hugging one of the twins who just stabbed her in the back. No one has nominated Dan yet! Yesssss! I'm back on Dan's side (for now).
Wolfy knows she's gonna be up. Did a moth tell her? It probably flew out of her fanny.
What is Charley on about? A singing career? I don't think youth (or lack of) is the problem. It's more the eye bags, two tone hair and lack of a decent singing voice.
Hazel doesn't like Wolfy's sexual innuendo! Gina summed it up nicely: 'you can talk.' I think Hazel must be one of the biggest hypocrites ever to walk in the Big Brother house.
Ooh, Daley nominated Callum now! I thought Daley was his BFF. Gina doesn't get the noms for Callum. Dexter does. I agree with Gina, I don't get it. I think Hazel might have had a word in Daley's ear.
I think everyone has nominated Wolfy so far. They smell blood; they're attacking. Wolfy's got to be a goner this week. I can't see how she can survive this. Dexter agrees: 'Wolfy's finished now.'
Gina on Charlie: 'What is she wearing? It doesn't suit her.' This is exactly the sort of shit people say watching Big Brother on TV, so if you're whining and calling her a bitch, just know yourself, little girl, etc. Gina is just saying what any viewer would say. I think she's just pipping Dexter for me at the moment with her unbridled honesty. I don't even consider it bitchy because of the way she's been dismissed and treated. Ooh, Charlie nommed Callum! Aw. Gina feels sorry for Callum. So do I, actually. Gina is right; everyone is just stabbing everyone in the back. At least Gina and Dexter stab in the front. I'd rather be in that house with Callum and Dan than Jackie, Charlie, Hazel, Daley, Sophie, Sam or the twins.
Wolfy nominated Charley and Dan. That was Dan's only nomination! Boo woo, Wolfy, you're gahn dahn!
Sophie nominated Sam again - another pointless vote. Who else is going to vote for Sam, really!? Ooh, Sophie nommed Hazel. That means Wolfy, Charley, Callum and Hazel are up. Bye, Wolfy.
Gina is eating in the bath! Groo! That's one of my top no nos. I do not eat in the bath and I do not eat while driving. Bathing and driving and eating are individual pleasures to be enjoyed seperately. Never the twain shall meet.
Has Hazel been greasing herself up? 'What are you thinking about?' to Daley. Daley covers his willy with a cushion. Absolute pig. Dexter is right: 'grim.'
Ha, Dexter 'homewreckers do well, they sell papers. She's just thinking of the pound notes.' Pound note is the sort of expression my boyfriend uses.
How come Dexter and Gina are in the garden eating ice creams? Those ice creams look good.
Dexter on Hazel straddling Daley: 'Fuck my life.' Gina is right; it IS wrong. There is a girl code. There's also a boyfriend code. Daley is worse, but Hazel is vile.
These idiot twins are getting on my nerves. Get off my screen. Dexter is right, Callum won't go this week.
LOL, Gina trying not to look at Dexter's skinny butt in the shower.
Callum, you don't need to justify yourself to that old bitch Jackie. He's done nothing that would exempt him from being a teacher, Rachel Rice is a teacher, Glyn is a teacher. I wish everyone would get off his case.
Dexter and Gina dancing in the garden: ace! They are too cute. Get lucky!
UGH: Hazel and Daley grinding on each other. Careful he doesn't get a stiffy. Dexter: 'I think I was actually sick in my mouth. If I was Daley's girlfriend I'd jump over the wall with a hacksaw.'
Callum WAS being kind of creepy when he told Daley to 'share the love' but I think he meant well. He just doesn't express himself quite right. Daley's already so far over the line he's been sent off. Callum was trying to HELP YOU, Daley, you thick pig. You HAVE crossed the line. If my boyfriend danced with someone like that I'd break his kneecaps. It's not ONLY dancing. Pull the other one. Do you really think your girlfriend is even still watching?
Oh, Daley's dumped his girlfriend now! I thought he was saying he loved her for the first two weeks in the house. This man is unreal.
How DARE Hazel have a go at Callum?! She's a scumbag. Why is JACKIE defending HAZEL, when she can see what Hazel is doing WITH HER OWN EYES? Jackie: 'The calibre of someone like that' about CALLUM?! What has Callum actually done?! He's a single guy, he either lied and said he slept with 200 women, or he's slept with 200 women, either way it's got FUCK ALL to do with you, you MISERABLE hatchet-faced old crone. Just fuck off! The hypocrisy is UNBEARABLE!
Hazel, why are you having a go at Charley now? Hazel, you ARE evil, just deal with it.
Gina and Dexter have got the measure of the situation. It stinks! Hazel is looking uglier by the minute. She's poison. If she carries on, she could go instead of Wolfy. And I wouldn't be sorry to see the back of her.
The way Dexter answered that phone was super suave. OMG! Gina and Dexter can save one nominated housemate and replace them with someone else! Ooh, I wonder who they'll put up? Hopefully Daley.
Dexter just gets better and better; gotta love a man who tells you you've got lipstick on your teeth! I've had lipstick on my teeth for house before my boyfriend's even noticed. Even girls won't tell you sometimes. And that IS part of the girl code.
They didn't tell them how many votes they were up by this week. I don't think it matters who Dexter and Gina put up; no one will go over Wolfy. Look at her, she can't even be bothered to get her fat arse off the couch and cuddle people. She knows she's a done deal.
I'm glad Hazel's going to be under a bit of pressure now. And Charlie, too, because I think she's treated Callum like dirt. And Dan is safe! And I don't think D&G will put Dan up as they both don't mind him.
Aw, Dexter wiping lippy of Gina's teeth! So intimate! Will Gina's boyfriend be needing that hacksaw instead of Daley's girlfriend?
Luke S on BOTS! One Mississippi, two Mississippi... you lose, dickwad. I really enjoyed tonight's BB! It makes you feel like you're not insane when you see two people agreeing with your assessment of the situation, and they've been in there. We are right. D&G are right. The rest are fucked up. Let's start taking some names.
Dexter and Gina - aka the high five crew - are having fun in the safe house.
Wolfy's banging on about 'energy.' Let's hope her bulb goes out tonight.
Noms time already! Twins nomming Charlie. Ooh, also Wolfy. Good. Why are the twins talking in unison, they don't normally.
Callum has nommed Wolfy, too. Her game is up, Everyone's pissed off with her saying she was going to win. Ooh, Callum nominated Hazel, not Dan. Good. Keep Dan in!
Dan is right about Wolfy - she is disingenuous. Ooh, Dan nominated Callum for his awkward niceness. Ha, Gina is not impressed. 'Callum is not hard to live with.' Unless you're anti 90s beach wear.
Sam nommed Wolfy! Ha, he called her 'rude, ignorant and arrogant.' Wicked. He also nominated Sophiezzzzzz. His reason seemed quite valid.
Dexter's 'I think she might need a hand with her nominations' about the injured Jackie was inspired. I love that boy. Jackie's after Wolfy blood, for spitting on this occasion. Wolfy's got a whole range of reasons from each and every housemate to be up. Could we even see her walk? Ah! Jackie's nominating Callum! Why am I not surprised? Old witch. Callum is one of her daughters best allies. Bad strategy. Gina: 'whatever. Just go home.' That's how I feel about Jackie, but she'll still be sitting there in the final with the Weeble twins and Sophie. YAWN!
I have the same toaster as the BB housemates, but in blue. Wolfy is hugging one of the twins who just stabbed her in the back. No one has nominated Dan yet! Yesssss! I'm back on Dan's side (for now).
Wolfy knows she's gonna be up. Did a moth tell her? It probably flew out of her fanny.
What is Charley on about? A singing career? I don't think youth (or lack of) is the problem. It's more the eye bags, two tone hair and lack of a decent singing voice.
Hazel doesn't like Wolfy's sexual innuendo! Gina summed it up nicely: 'you can talk.' I think Hazel must be one of the biggest hypocrites ever to walk in the Big Brother house.
Ooh, Daley nominated Callum now! I thought Daley was his BFF. Gina doesn't get the noms for Callum. Dexter does. I agree with Gina, I don't get it. I think Hazel might have had a word in Daley's ear.
I think everyone has nominated Wolfy so far. They smell blood; they're attacking. Wolfy's got to be a goner this week. I can't see how she can survive this. Dexter agrees: 'Wolfy's finished now.'
Gina on Charlie: 'What is she wearing? It doesn't suit her.' This is exactly the sort of shit people say watching Big Brother on TV, so if you're whining and calling her a bitch, just know yourself, little girl, etc. Gina is just saying what any viewer would say. I think she's just pipping Dexter for me at the moment with her unbridled honesty. I don't even consider it bitchy because of the way she's been dismissed and treated. Ooh, Charlie nommed Callum! Aw. Gina feels sorry for Callum. So do I, actually. Gina is right; everyone is just stabbing everyone in the back. At least Gina and Dexter stab in the front. I'd rather be in that house with Callum and Dan than Jackie, Charlie, Hazel, Daley, Sophie, Sam or the twins.
Wolfy nominated Charley and Dan. That was Dan's only nomination! Boo woo, Wolfy, you're gahn dahn!
Sophie nominated Sam again - another pointless vote. Who else is going to vote for Sam, really!? Ooh, Sophie nommed Hazel. That means Wolfy, Charley, Callum and Hazel are up. Bye, Wolfy.
Gina is eating in the bath! Groo! That's one of my top no nos. I do not eat in the bath and I do not eat while driving. Bathing and driving and eating are individual pleasures to be enjoyed seperately. Never the twain shall meet.
Has Hazel been greasing herself up? 'What are you thinking about?' to Daley. Daley covers his willy with a cushion. Absolute pig. Dexter is right: 'grim.'
Ha, Dexter 'homewreckers do well, they sell papers. She's just thinking of the pound notes.' Pound note is the sort of expression my boyfriend uses.
How come Dexter and Gina are in the garden eating ice creams? Those ice creams look good.
Dexter on Hazel straddling Daley: 'Fuck my life.' Gina is right; it IS wrong. There is a girl code. There's also a boyfriend code. Daley is worse, but Hazel is vile.
These idiot twins are getting on my nerves. Get off my screen. Dexter is right, Callum won't go this week.
LOL, Gina trying not to look at Dexter's skinny butt in the shower.
Callum, you don't need to justify yourself to that old bitch Jackie. He's done nothing that would exempt him from being a teacher, Rachel Rice is a teacher, Glyn is a teacher. I wish everyone would get off his case.
Dexter and Gina dancing in the garden: ace! They are too cute. Get lucky!
UGH: Hazel and Daley grinding on each other. Careful he doesn't get a stiffy. Dexter: 'I think I was actually sick in my mouth. If I was Daley's girlfriend I'd jump over the wall with a hacksaw.'
Callum WAS being kind of creepy when he told Daley to 'share the love' but I think he meant well. He just doesn't express himself quite right. Daley's already so far over the line he's been sent off. Callum was trying to HELP YOU, Daley, you thick pig. You HAVE crossed the line. If my boyfriend danced with someone like that I'd break his kneecaps. It's not ONLY dancing. Pull the other one. Do you really think your girlfriend is even still watching?
Oh, Daley's dumped his girlfriend now! I thought he was saying he loved her for the first two weeks in the house. This man is unreal.
How DARE Hazel have a go at Callum?! She's a scumbag. Why is JACKIE defending HAZEL, when she can see what Hazel is doing WITH HER OWN EYES? Jackie: 'The calibre of someone like that' about CALLUM?! What has Callum actually done?! He's a single guy, he either lied and said he slept with 200 women, or he's slept with 200 women, either way it's got FUCK ALL to do with you, you MISERABLE hatchet-faced old crone. Just fuck off! The hypocrisy is UNBEARABLE!
Hazel, why are you having a go at Charley now? Hazel, you ARE evil, just deal with it.
Gina and Dexter have got the measure of the situation. It stinks! Hazel is looking uglier by the minute. She's poison. If she carries on, she could go instead of Wolfy. And I wouldn't be sorry to see the back of her.
The way Dexter answered that phone was super suave. OMG! Gina and Dexter can save one nominated housemate and replace them with someone else! Ooh, I wonder who they'll put up? Hopefully Daley.
Dexter just gets better and better; gotta love a man who tells you you've got lipstick on your teeth! I've had lipstick on my teeth for house before my boyfriend's even noticed. Even girls won't tell you sometimes. And that IS part of the girl code.
They didn't tell them how many votes they were up by this week. I don't think it matters who Dexter and Gina put up; no one will go over Wolfy. Look at her, she can't even be bothered to get her fat arse off the couch and cuddle people. She knows she's a done deal.
I'm glad Hazel's going to be under a bit of pressure now. And Charlie, too, because I think she's treated Callum like dirt. And Dan is safe! And I don't think D&G will put Dan up as they both don't mind him.
Aw, Dexter wiping lippy of Gina's teeth! So intimate! Will Gina's boyfriend be needing that hacksaw instead of Daley's girlfriend?
Luke S on BOTS! One Mississippi, two Mississippi... you lose, dickwad. I really enjoyed tonight's BB! It makes you feel like you're not insane when you see two people agreeing with your assessment of the situation, and they've been in there. We are right. D&G are right. The rest are fucked up. Let's start taking some names.
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: Everything's so quiet and boring without us
Daley is such a fucking creep; he makes me sick to my stomach. 'There's no point sleeping in a double without someone there' - the thing is, with him, it doesn't matter who.
Jackie's 'broke her wrist' - I hope they kick her out. Contact with the outside world! Get her out. If she sees a Daily Star, God knows what she'll think. Did Dexter and Gina engineer engineer Jackie's fall?
Even though this task is designed to make Dexter and Gina look like bastards, they're still exactly right; the house is boring as fuck without them.
That comment about Hazel making Daley hard was so crass and vile it was unbelievable. Do they have NO consideration for his girlfriend's feelings? Disgusting pair. They make me feel physically sick. What reception do they think they're going to get when they come out of the house? Do they really think calling each other 'buddy' is fooling anyone? They're either thick as fuck or both rotten inside; I think it could be both.
So Dexter and Gina get to play pranks on the other housemates, but Gina's right, she's slack.
I think Gina misinterpreted what Daley said, I think he meant he would hang out with Dexter.
Moving in chat! ER, WHAT ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, DALEY?
Ready Brek, anyone?
I love Gina and Dexter as the evil overlords! They don't even need to consult they think so alike. Dan's loving giving out the prison rations.
Wolfy is so greedy she will literally eat ANYTHING. Dexter: 'She's throwing up!' Mega glee. Does she HAVE to eat it?! Bleurgh. Watching her spit into a bucket is disgusting.
Jackie's back, boo! Gina: 'there's no point her even being here.' Ha! So true. Everything Gina says is basically what I think.
I can't even look at Wolfy tonight, she's making me feel physically sick.
Gina has got everyone spot on tonight, including the twins. Sophie giving cop out answers in the treehouse. LOL they're all turning against Wolfy! I ALMOST feel sorry for Wolfy. Sophie: 'I'm not being funny or anything but you need to wash your crotch.' Now we see Sophie's real opinions! Dexter and Gina should go back in the house and go 'Wolfy, Sophie says your crotch smells.'
It's not so much Dan guessed the twist, that he just guesses at anything, and if you throw enough against the wall, something's got to stick. It's no way to run Yewtree.
Wolfy is public enemy number one at the moment! Everyone hates her for different reasons.
The twins and Callum are getting NOTHING! Do Dan and Sam have to eat a whole cake each.
Gina is LOVING the power! She was born for this.They picked the right housemates for the job. Why should we 'piggyfoot' around Hazel? 'Yes boss.' UGH!
Is Daley that desperate to snog Hazel, he'll have a three-way with Dan?
I don't know what was funnier, Sam, Daley and Callum's rap, or Gina's reaction.
Gina and Dexter's lack of sympathy for Jackie was hilarious. 'Because she's a bitch!' LOL.
Callum is wearing more clothes from the 90s. Gina: 'they're dead. They're no fun at all.'
Gina laughing at Callum being rebuffed whilst opening another bottle of champagne! Hilarious.
Hazel is just gross saying she's sexually frustrated. Daley is just gross. I'm glad Gina and Dexter can see them for what they are.
All hail King Dexter and Queen Gina! I'm sure there'll be plenty of people saying Gina and Dexter are taking to to far and being too bitchy, but I say, the more the merrier. The tables have turned. Eat your Bishops finger sandwich, and stick it up Hazel's fanny if she's that desperate.
Jackie's 'broke her wrist' - I hope they kick her out. Contact with the outside world! Get her out. If she sees a Daily Star, God knows what she'll think. Did Dexter and Gina engineer engineer Jackie's fall?
Even though this task is designed to make Dexter and Gina look like bastards, they're still exactly right; the house is boring as fuck without them.
That comment about Hazel making Daley hard was so crass and vile it was unbelievable. Do they have NO consideration for his girlfriend's feelings? Disgusting pair. They make me feel physically sick. What reception do they think they're going to get when they come out of the house? Do they really think calling each other 'buddy' is fooling anyone? They're either thick as fuck or both rotten inside; I think it could be both.
So Dexter and Gina get to play pranks on the other housemates, but Gina's right, she's slack.
I think Gina misinterpreted what Daley said, I think he meant he would hang out with Dexter.
Moving in chat! ER, WHAT ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, DALEY?
Ready Brek, anyone?
I love Gina and Dexter as the evil overlords! They don't even need to consult they think so alike. Dan's loving giving out the prison rations.
Wolfy is so greedy she will literally eat ANYTHING. Dexter: 'She's throwing up!' Mega glee. Does she HAVE to eat it?! Bleurgh. Watching her spit into a bucket is disgusting.
Jackie's back, boo! Gina: 'there's no point her even being here.' Ha! So true. Everything Gina says is basically what I think.
I can't even look at Wolfy tonight, she's making me feel physically sick.
Gina has got everyone spot on tonight, including the twins. Sophie giving cop out answers in the treehouse. LOL they're all turning against Wolfy! I ALMOST feel sorry for Wolfy. Sophie: 'I'm not being funny or anything but you need to wash your crotch.' Now we see Sophie's real opinions! Dexter and Gina should go back in the house and go 'Wolfy, Sophie says your crotch smells.'
It's not so much Dan guessed the twist, that he just guesses at anything, and if you throw enough against the wall, something's got to stick. It's no way to run Yewtree.
Wolfy is public enemy number one at the moment! Everyone hates her for different reasons.
The twins and Callum are getting NOTHING! Do Dan and Sam have to eat a whole cake each.
Gina is LOVING the power! She was born for this.They picked the right housemates for the job. Why should we 'piggyfoot' around Hazel? 'Yes boss.' UGH!
Is Daley that desperate to snog Hazel, he'll have a three-way with Dan?
I don't know what was funnier, Sam, Daley and Callum's rap, or Gina's reaction.
Gina and Dexter's lack of sympathy for Jackie was hilarious. 'Because she's a bitch!' LOL.
Callum is wearing more clothes from the 90s. Gina: 'they're dead. They're no fun at all.'
Gina laughing at Callum being rebuffed whilst opening another bottle of champagne! Hilarious.
Hazel is just gross saying she's sexually frustrated. Daley is just gross. I'm glad Gina and Dexter can see them for what they are.
All hail King Dexter and Queen Gina! I'm sure there'll be plenty of people saying Gina and Dexter are taking to to far and being too bitchy, but I say, the more the merrier. The tables have turned. Eat your Bishops finger sandwich, and stick it up Hazel's fanny if she's that desperate.
Thursday, 4 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: I don't want to die... I want to do that again
Just had a little catch up session for my boyfriend who was behind so now I've watched some bits of this week twice! Joy! His hatred for Dan is higher than mine. I like Dan's tragic melodrama. I also think Callum's more interesting now he's coming undone. I feel sorry for Callum! What if he IS just a nice guy?!
Hazel doesn't like code except for when Daley's spelling out 'I like you' like a backwards child. My boyfriend wasn't convinced he could spell. Mind you, the longest word was four letters long. Let's see him spell 'infidelity'.
Oh God, is this task still going on? I didn't understand it yesterday. I just saw a good task on BBUS, it involved rubber dinghies and a river! Now that's a task! I still don't get this task. There's no explanation. Nae mind.
Callum's tattoos are so Ibiza 1997, bless him.
Can we be spared Jack and Joe in the shower again? Can we just be spared them full stop? I can see your bald patch, ner ner.
At least we know for sure Hazel's a complete cunt now. It was just a suspicion before, but now it's confirmed. I think Daley IS involved in drama; with his girlfriend. The only reason he's not involved in house drama is because he doesn't speak to anyone.
Dan's commandeered the kitchen now, that's always the kiss of death. And he's got his gross neon vest on again.
Majority rules task. What's the betting Dexter gets a kicking? These three aren't on the same wavelength at all.
I'd like to punch that twin who keeps slagging off Dexter in the face. Dan is doing some great expressions at the moment, some proper stink eye. It's like someone's nicked his favourite handcuffs.
Daley and Hazel are actually making me want to vomit, I don't know who's more disgusting out of the shallow pair. Actually him; but she's the one who'll get hung on the rack over it. Dan is 'sensing' something between Hazel and Daley. Is it narcissism?
Is this task STILL going on?
Charlie is saying to Hazel that they've not put any single people in! That's bullshit. She's pussyfooting round in her jackboots as usual. Why couldn't something have happened with Charlie and Callum?
Charlie is subtle as a BRICK! Is she doing it innocently or NOT? My boyfriend thinks not. Hazel; don't play innocent. you know what this conversation is really about.
Why does Charlie say these things?! Her strategy is fucked. Hazel is now insinuating that Charlie fancies Daley. She is a sneaky one.
Yes Daley, it's having girls who are friends who have got you into this situation not your pathetic playground codewords. The first time he speaks in three weeks and it's to say something dumb. Hazel is just stealing someone's boyfriend just because she can to prove she's top dog in the house. I don't know how she thinks it's going to make her look but it's got Noirin written all over it. Daley is beneath contempt. Bring his girlfriend in!
I like the way Dexter looks like he's dressed for a job interview half the time. I don't think they're really going to throw knives at Gina. It will be like that really rubbish gorilla they put in one time. Ha.
I wouldn't let someone throw knives at me for any money. It's not worth it! Why is she so game to do all these tasks?! They've put her in the old electric shock suit, too. Wouldn't it be funny if Gina won this show? I'd love to see her face. I'm not even going to comment on outsiders in th house, that ship has sailed so far.
I wouldn't even like being spun round like that! I'd piss my pants. 'I want to do that again' - class.
Shopping list times! Give Wolfy Tabasco instead of tobacco.
Daley, you're not a closed book, you're a fucking used dirty magazine. Callum's David Brentism's are so poetic. 'What do they say... *insert something trite here*.
Dan, Hazel doesn't like you when you're on the block, don't you get it? She only likes you when you're top dog like her.
Hazel likes Dexter to chat to 'during the week'? What about at weekends? Oh, stop going on, Dan. Why is he slagging Callum to Daley, Daley's friends with Callum!
Does Sam have an OPINION on anything? All I see is people talking to him when he just sits there. He's worse than Sophie, at least she used the word 'agg'.
Is Dexter stupid or something?! Stop telling people to nominate Wolfy! You're not on BBUS.
My boyfriend just said to me that 'Dexter is like Jesus' but the rest of the sentence made no sense.
Wolfy has been wearing that same jumper all week; I hope she's got some Febreeze on the go. Wolfy is a 'peaceful person who avoids confrontation'. OK, then. *backs away*
Dan, stop going on at everyone! You're going to get nominated every week at this rate. Just shut your mouth for a week. I'm surprised he doesn't start every conversation by reading people people their Miranda rights.
Even the twins are pissed off with Wolfy's arrogance! Yes. This is good news. They're mad cos they think they're the favourites. Get her out.
Callum and Charlie are professional sticky beaks! Let Daley dig his own grave! Why are they bothered? I don't think Sam wants to get involved. Leave him out of it. Callum is just trying to take the heat off himself, in my opinion.
Callum, stop crawling to Dexter, you put him on the block to his face. I'm glad Dexter's not accepting it. 'Backed you the whole way'?! Hardly! Callum: 'I appreciate your honesty.' I love Dexter calling Callum awkward. Dexter has every right to be mad with Callum, he nominated him face to face. Seriously, what does Callum want from him? Dexter's got some balls to say that to him and not just go 'it's alright.' I'd blatantly just go 'oh alright then.'
Daley: 'me and Hazel are close and it runs deep.' But there's 'still hope with the girlfriend'. Is there indeed?! Why is he explaining himself to Charlie, it's got nothing to do with her anyway.
Everyone seems a little drunk to me! 'I know you wouldn't do anything in here.' Are you sure? Detective Dan is on the case. 'there's a little bit of attraction there.' Well done, Dan, you've cracked it. Time to go harass someone else.
Hazel doesn't like code except for when Daley's spelling out 'I like you' like a backwards child. My boyfriend wasn't convinced he could spell. Mind you, the longest word was four letters long. Let's see him spell 'infidelity'.
Oh God, is this task still going on? I didn't understand it yesterday. I just saw a good task on BBUS, it involved rubber dinghies and a river! Now that's a task! I still don't get this task. There's no explanation. Nae mind.
Callum's tattoos are so Ibiza 1997, bless him.
Can we be spared Jack and Joe in the shower again? Can we just be spared them full stop? I can see your bald patch, ner ner.
At least we know for sure Hazel's a complete cunt now. It was just a suspicion before, but now it's confirmed. I think Daley IS involved in drama; with his girlfriend. The only reason he's not involved in house drama is because he doesn't speak to anyone.
Dan's commandeered the kitchen now, that's always the kiss of death. And he's got his gross neon vest on again.
Majority rules task. What's the betting Dexter gets a kicking? These three aren't on the same wavelength at all.
I'd like to punch that twin who keeps slagging off Dexter in the face. Dan is doing some great expressions at the moment, some proper stink eye. It's like someone's nicked his favourite handcuffs.
Daley and Hazel are actually making me want to vomit, I don't know who's more disgusting out of the shallow pair. Actually him; but she's the one who'll get hung on the rack over it. Dan is 'sensing' something between Hazel and Daley. Is it narcissism?
Is this task STILL going on?
Charlie is saying to Hazel that they've not put any single people in! That's bullshit. She's pussyfooting round in her jackboots as usual. Why couldn't something have happened with Charlie and Callum?
Charlie is subtle as a BRICK! Is she doing it innocently or NOT? My boyfriend thinks not. Hazel; don't play innocent. you know what this conversation is really about.
Why does Charlie say these things?! Her strategy is fucked. Hazel is now insinuating that Charlie fancies Daley. She is a sneaky one.
Yes Daley, it's having girls who are friends who have got you into this situation not your pathetic playground codewords. The first time he speaks in three weeks and it's to say something dumb. Hazel is just stealing someone's boyfriend just because she can to prove she's top dog in the house. I don't know how she thinks it's going to make her look but it's got Noirin written all over it. Daley is beneath contempt. Bring his girlfriend in!
I like the way Dexter looks like he's dressed for a job interview half the time. I don't think they're really going to throw knives at Gina. It will be like that really rubbish gorilla they put in one time. Ha.
I wouldn't let someone throw knives at me for any money. It's not worth it! Why is she so game to do all these tasks?! They've put her in the old electric shock suit, too. Wouldn't it be funny if Gina won this show? I'd love to see her face. I'm not even going to comment on outsiders in th house, that ship has sailed so far.
I wouldn't even like being spun round like that! I'd piss my pants. 'I want to do that again' - class.
Shopping list times! Give Wolfy Tabasco instead of tobacco.
Daley, you're not a closed book, you're a fucking used dirty magazine. Callum's David Brentism's are so poetic. 'What do they say... *insert something trite here*.
Dan, Hazel doesn't like you when you're on the block, don't you get it? She only likes you when you're top dog like her.
Hazel likes Dexter to chat to 'during the week'? What about at weekends? Oh, stop going on, Dan. Why is he slagging Callum to Daley, Daley's friends with Callum!
Does Sam have an OPINION on anything? All I see is people talking to him when he just sits there. He's worse than Sophie, at least she used the word 'agg'.
Is Dexter stupid or something?! Stop telling people to nominate Wolfy! You're not on BBUS.
My boyfriend just said to me that 'Dexter is like Jesus' but the rest of the sentence made no sense.
Wolfy has been wearing that same jumper all week; I hope she's got some Febreeze on the go. Wolfy is a 'peaceful person who avoids confrontation'. OK, then. *backs away*
Dan, stop going on at everyone! You're going to get nominated every week at this rate. Just shut your mouth for a week. I'm surprised he doesn't start every conversation by reading people people their Miranda rights.
Even the twins are pissed off with Wolfy's arrogance! Yes. This is good news. They're mad cos they think they're the favourites. Get her out.
Callum and Charlie are professional sticky beaks! Let Daley dig his own grave! Why are they bothered? I don't think Sam wants to get involved. Leave him out of it. Callum is just trying to take the heat off himself, in my opinion.
Callum, stop crawling to Dexter, you put him on the block to his face. I'm glad Dexter's not accepting it. 'Backed you the whole way'?! Hardly! Callum: 'I appreciate your honesty.' I love Dexter calling Callum awkward. Dexter has every right to be mad with Callum, he nominated him face to face. Seriously, what does Callum want from him? Dexter's got some balls to say that to him and not just go 'it's alright.' I'd blatantly just go 'oh alright then.'
Daley: 'me and Hazel are close and it runs deep.' But there's 'still hope with the girlfriend'. Is there indeed?! Why is he explaining himself to Charlie, it's got nothing to do with her anyway.
Everyone seems a little drunk to me! 'I know you wouldn't do anything in here.' Are you sure? Detective Dan is on the case. 'there's a little bit of attraction there.' Well done, Dan, you've cracked it. Time to go harass someone else.
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: Huff and puff - it's noms fix week!
Parcels of insecurity! Lets hope there's a special delivery for Wolfy tonight. I really don't want Dan to go, much as I can't bear him. He's a good housemate whatever way you dress it up. DI Disaster.
At least Dexter retains a sense of humour amidst that 'orrible lot.
Oh, Dan, the next target to be bugged and interrogated is Callum. What's the point in trying to get Sam to have an opinion? Might as well talk to the bedside table. I like Dan's jumper again. At least he's fashion forward and has stopped wearing that gross orange vest and pedal pushers; for now.
Ugh, I missed about five minutes there as cats were playing with a giant stag beetle and it nearly went in my handbag. It was the stuff of nightmares!!! I put it out the catflap.
Shopping task. Not interested. Next! Oh, it's like the one in BBUS when it looked like Janelle was fucking something. Doesn't work so well with the twins. It's like a BBUS task without the charm. And any point to it.
Dan 'senses a bit of awkwardness.' Is it because he caused it?
Wolfy's got her shit shield up. How can we tell? Oh God, stop saying the public like you! We HATE YOUR GUTS!
I like Dexter's cardie. When did Dexter get given this task?! More tasks without explanation! Ugh.
Oh God, Callum is like when I was about 12 before we knew what sex was, we used to give each other massages and snog with no tongues. Callum is like that. A prepubescent romance you don't want and never asked for.
Spelling task. I wish I cared.
Hazel: 'Big Brother might not be for Dan.' Why is she saying that, I thought she was his bestie? I don't trust that bitch as far as I could throw her.
Dexter, stop 'putting things out there'! Ha, Dexter telling people to be diplomatic and tactful, jokes. Jackie admits she's like my mum, she lets it build up then blows.
Dan is having a crack up. It's not because he's up for eviction though, oh no. The trouble with Dan is he thinks everyone should like him. He doesn't realise what an absolute tool he is. Wolfy, give Dan a cigarette. Stop keeping count like queen bitch in the nick. Stop saying you're being victimised, Wolfy. I'll victimise you. With a razor blade.
Dan, pull yourself together. Dan needs someone new to interrogate, it's the only thing that makes him happy.
Hopefully Dan having a pity party will get him saved tonight, although it's clear Hazel's had enough of him; not sure why though.
Ha, did Wolfy just say to Dexter he's the only person she has respect for?! What has she been smoking (gross roll ups).
What's going on with Daley and Hazel? Is this why she's dropped Dan like a sack of shit? She must like his personality. Doesn't he have a girlfriend? That's a bit tawdry.
Wolfy has 'a line of tobacco left'. Is she going to snort it? She 'makes prison rollies'. Ha. Told you.
Why do they all think Wolfy is safe? I don't get it. Dexter and Gina are being kind of cute. I like them together.
OK, here we go live to the house for a big fat fix. Gina just sneezed in the Diary Room and no one even said 'bless you'. Manners cost nothing!
Is this seriously all we're getting tonight, viewers questions? Seriously, who cares?
Haha, 'Wolfy, you're not my best friend because you're not sharing fags with me.' Gina's friendships are built on solid foundations. Dexter and Dan are trying not to laugh.
Dan doesn't like being called bitchy. Public doesn't care. God, do we really need to hear MORE about cigarettes?
Oh great, now they're giving Wolfy a hint she's not popular. Wolfy, you can't be a self-proclaimed freak. A million freaks have won BB. It's a prerequisite.
Gina is right, Dexter is the best housemate 'as a viewer'! I hope that means he's safe now.
GET ON WITH IT, BB. God, did they really call Emma in for this? Oh, no, it's a fake double eviction. Grr. Ooh, safe from next weeks noms! Make it Dexter and Gina! This is good, but it still saves Wolfy, which sucks. It's just the bedshit/ crypt task recycled. Bhahahaha! The villian, etc.
Put DEXTER AND GINA IN the safe house! There's no competition really, is there? They are probably trying to ruin Dexter and Gina's popularity. If there were three housemates up I liked, I'd say fair enough, but it's still a rehashed task. The housemates never fall for it, and can normally hear them. I do like watching housemates watch Big Brother though, for some reason. It amuses me.
God, I really need to bite the bullet and speak to Anton this week don't I (he works near me)! I'm so not gonna, though. He knows the meaning of TV gold. Big Brother, however, don't.
They could have probably made about 50K off the votes to save Wolfy. Seriously, what are they playing at?
At least Dexter retains a sense of humour amidst that 'orrible lot.
Oh, Dan, the next target to be bugged and interrogated is Callum. What's the point in trying to get Sam to have an opinion? Might as well talk to the bedside table. I like Dan's jumper again. At least he's fashion forward and has stopped wearing that gross orange vest and pedal pushers; for now.
Ugh, I missed about five minutes there as cats were playing with a giant stag beetle and it nearly went in my handbag. It was the stuff of nightmares!!! I put it out the catflap.
Shopping task. Not interested. Next! Oh, it's like the one in BBUS when it looked like Janelle was fucking something. Doesn't work so well with the twins. It's like a BBUS task without the charm. And any point to it.
Dan 'senses a bit of awkwardness.' Is it because he caused it?
Wolfy's got her shit shield up. How can we tell? Oh God, stop saying the public like you! We HATE YOUR GUTS!
I like Dexter's cardie. When did Dexter get given this task?! More tasks without explanation! Ugh.
Oh God, Callum is like when I was about 12 before we knew what sex was, we used to give each other massages and snog with no tongues. Callum is like that. A prepubescent romance you don't want and never asked for.
Spelling task. I wish I cared.
Hazel: 'Big Brother might not be for Dan.' Why is she saying that, I thought she was his bestie? I don't trust that bitch as far as I could throw her.
Dexter, stop 'putting things out there'! Ha, Dexter telling people to be diplomatic and tactful, jokes. Jackie admits she's like my mum, she lets it build up then blows.
Dan is having a crack up. It's not because he's up for eviction though, oh no. The trouble with Dan is he thinks everyone should like him. He doesn't realise what an absolute tool he is. Wolfy, give Dan a cigarette. Stop keeping count like queen bitch in the nick. Stop saying you're being victimised, Wolfy. I'll victimise you. With a razor blade.
Dan, pull yourself together. Dan needs someone new to interrogate, it's the only thing that makes him happy.
Hopefully Dan having a pity party will get him saved tonight, although it's clear Hazel's had enough of him; not sure why though.
Ha, did Wolfy just say to Dexter he's the only person she has respect for?! What has she been smoking (gross roll ups).
What's going on with Daley and Hazel? Is this why she's dropped Dan like a sack of shit? She must like his personality. Doesn't he have a girlfriend? That's a bit tawdry.
Wolfy has 'a line of tobacco left'. Is she going to snort it? She 'makes prison rollies'. Ha. Told you.
Why do they all think Wolfy is safe? I don't get it. Dexter and Gina are being kind of cute. I like them together.
OK, here we go live to the house for a big fat fix. Gina just sneezed in the Diary Room and no one even said 'bless you'. Manners cost nothing!
Is this seriously all we're getting tonight, viewers questions? Seriously, who cares?
Haha, 'Wolfy, you're not my best friend because you're not sharing fags with me.' Gina's friendships are built on solid foundations. Dexter and Dan are trying not to laugh.
Dan doesn't like being called bitchy. Public doesn't care. God, do we really need to hear MORE about cigarettes?
Oh great, now they're giving Wolfy a hint she's not popular. Wolfy, you can't be a self-proclaimed freak. A million freaks have won BB. It's a prerequisite.
Gina is right, Dexter is the best housemate 'as a viewer'! I hope that means he's safe now.
GET ON WITH IT, BB. God, did they really call Emma in for this? Oh, no, it's a fake double eviction. Grr. Ooh, safe from next weeks noms! Make it Dexter and Gina! This is good, but it still saves Wolfy, which sucks. It's just the bedshit/ crypt task recycled. Bhahahaha! The villian, etc.
Put DEXTER AND GINA IN the safe house! There's no competition really, is there? They are probably trying to ruin Dexter and Gina's popularity. If there were three housemates up I liked, I'd say fair enough, but it's still a rehashed task. The housemates never fall for it, and can normally hear them. I do like watching housemates watch Big Brother though, for some reason. It amuses me.
God, I really need to bite the bullet and speak to Anton this week don't I (he works near me)! I'm so not gonna, though. He knows the meaning of TV gold. Big Brother, however, don't.
They could have probably made about 50K off the votes to save Wolfy. Seriously, what are they playing at?
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
Big Brother 2013: There's more to life than cigarettes and moaning
I'm on edge because I can't get my cat in and I'm not allowed to shout for him because my neighbour has a baby! How lovely, but what about my CAT? Grr.
I don't like it when things are all out of order because they cut to the house for the live evictions etc. Talking of out of order, have you heard that there's supposedly a twist to save Wolfy? If so, the producers must be demented. It's making me want to switch off and I write a blog and do a podcast about this shit. I was really looking forward to getting her out this week. I just don't get their thought process and I don't think I ever will. Am I mental and Wolfy and the twins are really lovely, jovial fun-time housemates? Somehow I doubt it. Why are they ruining the enjoyment of people watching the show? They could have cleaned up on a vote to evict Wolfy this week. The other housemates will never save Gina or Dexter. We can only hope they save Dan and then we can still boot Wolfy out. But it's too many ifs for my liking. When I told my boyfriend about it, he goes 'I'm not watching anymore.' He will, but I bet he's not the only one that feels like that. What with pulling the live feed and then pulling these tricks, they really have no respect for the game or the fans. It makes me sad.
Ha, got my cat in. I win.
Dexter's giving Dan a compliment. Fair enough, it's insincere, but no need to pull a face, Dan. Gina doesn't like Wolfy? I thought they were 'best friends'. Gina: 'There's more to life than cigarettes and moaning.' Are you sure?
Dan, the old sage of the house. Callum: I hope they play 'Womaniser' when he leaves the house. He's so DESPERATE for approval! Take a leaf out of Gina's 'don't give a fuck' book. It's classier.
I love the perplexed faces when Gina, Dexter and Dan get told off for nominating. They're not getting family photos! Dexter was obviously made in a lab anyway.
LOL to Hazel to the twins: 'oh my God, your parents are really good looking!' Queen of subtlety that one.
My boyfriend would be being sick if he was here at the family photos, he hates that stuff and the letters. Don't get sentimental, it always ends up drivel. Dexter on the family photos: 'it shows weakness.' That's exactly what I want from a housemate - a black heart!
Oh God, STFU about cigarettes! Dan criticising Wolfy for not bringing enough in. Isn't he the dude who ran out already? I love Dan's face towards Wolfy. I hate her as much as he does. I like Gina and Dan palling up. They can be team A-hole.
Dexter is an idiot trying to strategise about nominations. You're not on BBUS!
Noms AGAIN. Zzzz. Well, you can't say Jackie wasn't frank. Charlie's face was funny. She should nominate her mum. I can't be fucked to comment on all this again. Hold on, I missed the twins saying 'we're fed up of throwing that dog a bone' about Dexter. How gross! I can't stand them. The way they speak about Dexter is disgusting. Get back behind the deli counter, you little turds. I'm sick of the sight of you.
Nothing personal, Wolfy, just business.
Haha, Dan throwing his toys out of the pram about being nominated. It's up to Callum who he's closer to! That's no way to win an argument, Dan. We all know you hate Callum. Ha, Dan giving twins the stink eye, too. Dan on Callum: 'he's not genuinely nice but I am.' Neither of you are!
And now we come to Wolfy's downfall; or would be if the producers can keep their wooden spoon out. I quote: 'I know I'm going to be saved anyway so I don't give a shit.' Pride comes before a booting!
LOL, Dan is quoting the rule book. Get Vinnie Jones in, he'll suss it out.
Dan has got his little notebook out again! 'Tell me everything you know about Gina.' Well, boobs up to her chin, long fake hair like a dog that's been in a ravine and 14 inches of make up. Is that OK?
Ooh, Dan is being a real douche! I wish he'd STFU, I want Wolfy to go, not him.
Ah, Wolfy continues: 'Don't worry G, I aint going nowhere.' I could enjoy this more if I wasn't shitting myself that the idiot sheep are going to save her tomorrow. Thanks BB for ruining the show AGAIN!
Twin: 'we can only hope it's Dexter.' FUCK OFF. Wolfy: 'the public are going to see that Dan's been calling me an actress.' The public don't care about that, they're more concerned with you being an uber cunt.
Wolfy: 'I aint even bothered in the slightest.' I wish I could say the same.
Ha, Charlie telling her mum to say how she feels at the time and not to let it all out at once. That's exactly what my mum does, a massive build up and an explosion.
Dan, stop floundering and keep your mouth shut. Why is Gina having a go at Callum? I don't get it. But I'm also so tired of Callum's 'woe is me' face. Callum has permanently got a 'well, I've done my best' expression on. I don't get what they're arguing about, I really don't. Everyone just shut up and let Wolfy dig her own grave, please.
Why is Dexter being nice to Dan!? Dan has done nothing but treat Dexter like crap! Nice guy wars! 'Awkward niceness'! Better than interrogating not-niceness.
Hazel, Dexter got SAVED BY US, THICKO. Why don't you just shut up. You add NOTHING to the show.
Dan calling people 'patronising' and 'cocksure'. Funny! He's REALLY upset about being on the block, bless him.
Gina calling Wolfy Judas! Not everyone DID vote for Dexter, actually, Hazel, Gina didn't.
Wolfy: 'I'm your biggest competition. Everyone knows I'm going to make it to the final.' Did you see Dexter smirk when she said it? Only an imbecile would make such a statement. Only someone the public despise.
Why does Wolfy feel like she 'deserves to be there'? She deserves to be kicked in the backside.
This whole episode was people just niggling at each other and it actually made me feel anxious. That's not good. Evil is triumphing over good. There isn't even any good, but evil is still winning. It's just like Conor all over again. They are going to give Wolfy a crown and a suitcase full of cigarettes and probably a fucking sainthood.
Voting lines are still not open. So who goes? Big Brother decides. Don't you ever forget it.
I don't like it when things are all out of order because they cut to the house for the live evictions etc. Talking of out of order, have you heard that there's supposedly a twist to save Wolfy? If so, the producers must be demented. It's making me want to switch off and I write a blog and do a podcast about this shit. I was really looking forward to getting her out this week. I just don't get their thought process and I don't think I ever will. Am I mental and Wolfy and the twins are really lovely, jovial fun-time housemates? Somehow I doubt it. Why are they ruining the enjoyment of people watching the show? They could have cleaned up on a vote to evict Wolfy this week. The other housemates will never save Gina or Dexter. We can only hope they save Dan and then we can still boot Wolfy out. But it's too many ifs for my liking. When I told my boyfriend about it, he goes 'I'm not watching anymore.' He will, but I bet he's not the only one that feels like that. What with pulling the live feed and then pulling these tricks, they really have no respect for the game or the fans. It makes me sad.
Ha, got my cat in. I win.
Dexter's giving Dan a compliment. Fair enough, it's insincere, but no need to pull a face, Dan. Gina doesn't like Wolfy? I thought they were 'best friends'. Gina: 'There's more to life than cigarettes and moaning.' Are you sure?
Dan, the old sage of the house. Callum: I hope they play 'Womaniser' when he leaves the house. He's so DESPERATE for approval! Take a leaf out of Gina's 'don't give a fuck' book. It's classier.
I love the perplexed faces when Gina, Dexter and Dan get told off for nominating. They're not getting family photos! Dexter was obviously made in a lab anyway.
LOL to Hazel to the twins: 'oh my God, your parents are really good looking!' Queen of subtlety that one.
My boyfriend would be being sick if he was here at the family photos, he hates that stuff and the letters. Don't get sentimental, it always ends up drivel. Dexter on the family photos: 'it shows weakness.' That's exactly what I want from a housemate - a black heart!
Oh God, STFU about cigarettes! Dan criticising Wolfy for not bringing enough in. Isn't he the dude who ran out already? I love Dan's face towards Wolfy. I hate her as much as he does. I like Gina and Dan palling up. They can be team A-hole.
Dexter is an idiot trying to strategise about nominations. You're not on BBUS!
Noms AGAIN. Zzzz. Well, you can't say Jackie wasn't frank. Charlie's face was funny. She should nominate her mum. I can't be fucked to comment on all this again. Hold on, I missed the twins saying 'we're fed up of throwing that dog a bone' about Dexter. How gross! I can't stand them. The way they speak about Dexter is disgusting. Get back behind the deli counter, you little turds. I'm sick of the sight of you.
Nothing personal, Wolfy, just business.
Haha, Dan throwing his toys out of the pram about being nominated. It's up to Callum who he's closer to! That's no way to win an argument, Dan. We all know you hate Callum. Ha, Dan giving twins the stink eye, too. Dan on Callum: 'he's not genuinely nice but I am.' Neither of you are!
And now we come to Wolfy's downfall; or would be if the producers can keep their wooden spoon out. I quote: 'I know I'm going to be saved anyway so I don't give a shit.' Pride comes before a booting!
LOL, Dan is quoting the rule book. Get Vinnie Jones in, he'll suss it out.
Dan has got his little notebook out again! 'Tell me everything you know about Gina.' Well, boobs up to her chin, long fake hair like a dog that's been in a ravine and 14 inches of make up. Is that OK?
Ooh, Dan is being a real douche! I wish he'd STFU, I want Wolfy to go, not him.
Ah, Wolfy continues: 'Don't worry G, I aint going nowhere.' I could enjoy this more if I wasn't shitting myself that the idiot sheep are going to save her tomorrow. Thanks BB for ruining the show AGAIN!
Twin: 'we can only hope it's Dexter.' FUCK OFF. Wolfy: 'the public are going to see that Dan's been calling me an actress.' The public don't care about that, they're more concerned with you being an uber cunt.
Wolfy: 'I aint even bothered in the slightest.' I wish I could say the same.
Ha, Charlie telling her mum to say how she feels at the time and not to let it all out at once. That's exactly what my mum does, a massive build up and an explosion.
Dan, stop floundering and keep your mouth shut. Why is Gina having a go at Callum? I don't get it. But I'm also so tired of Callum's 'woe is me' face. Callum has permanently got a 'well, I've done my best' expression on. I don't get what they're arguing about, I really don't. Everyone just shut up and let Wolfy dig her own grave, please.
Why is Dexter being nice to Dan!? Dan has done nothing but treat Dexter like crap! Nice guy wars! 'Awkward niceness'! Better than interrogating not-niceness.
Hazel, Dexter got SAVED BY US, THICKO. Why don't you just shut up. You add NOTHING to the show.
Dan calling people 'patronising' and 'cocksure'. Funny! He's REALLY upset about being on the block, bless him.
Gina calling Wolfy Judas! Not everyone DID vote for Dexter, actually, Hazel, Gina didn't.
Wolfy: 'I'm your biggest competition. Everyone knows I'm going to make it to the final.' Did you see Dexter smirk when she said it? Only an imbecile would make such a statement. Only someone the public despise.
Why does Wolfy feel like she 'deserves to be there'? She deserves to be kicked in the backside.
This whole episode was people just niggling at each other and it actually made me feel anxious. That's not good. Evil is triumphing over good. There isn't even any good, but evil is still winning. It's just like Conor all over again. They are going to give Wolfy a crown and a suitcase full of cigarettes and probably a fucking sainthood.
Voting lines are still not open. So who goes? Big Brother decides. Don't you ever forget it.
Friday, 28 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: I wake up to this every day
Get Jemima out! She's not got one redeeming feature. Her voice alone should be a criminal offence. I voted four times, ha. Ooh the eye looks quite good in HD.
Dexter looks worn out! I'm not sure I like Emma's monochrome sack either.
Is Daley really asking Barry Styles if he'd do a magazine deal with Jemima? Ooh, Dexter is chiming in with his PR advice. Hilarious!
Jemima, you're too old for plaits. I'm too old for plaits at 33. You're definitely too old. The cowboy hat is not helping, either.
Dexter is telling Dan and Hazel that he dressed up for men in stockings on a webcam! What is wrong with this man? Dan: 'did you have a wank?' Dexter says, he's not bisexual, 'he's not arsed'.
Any straight man who says if 'Ryan Gosling walked in' isn't straight! I agree with what mystery twin said, 'do men make you turned on'? Dexter is 'fairly straight.' I love it! I want to see Dexter in his stockings. Notice Daley went 'urgh'! Homophobe!
Not another 'save me' speech. Aw, Dexter's speech was quite touching. I think he's quite lovely. He's silly, but lovely.
The mum and daughter are wearing matching peach. Coordinated!
Note to producers: Don't make Sophie read from cards again. Hide and seek! I've never seen inside the store room before. The store room takes centre stage in BBUS! Why is there no food in the store room? 500 bananas would liven things up.
Whenever those twins are funny, it's unintentional. See all the dirty pants hanging by the vegetable patch?! Yuck. That task was way lame. Is that the best they can do on a Friday night? Doesn't matter how much dramatic music you put on hide and seek, it's still hide and seek.
Jemima is wearing a chefs top and knee high socks! What is she thinking? Big Brother should really have done humanity a favour and shredded her suitcase. Her clothes are disgusting.
Hazel's business is selling photos of herself. Must be so fulfilling!
Look at the the way Dexter sits in that chair; like a praying mantis.
Ooh, fat gate! It IS kind of annoying when skinny people say they're fat, but Charlie just means it relative to herself. It does feel insulting when skinny people say it, but they don't mean it rudely, I think.
Wolfy busted out the 'I'm not being funny!' It's your fault if you're fat, Wolfy, and I thought she was doing it for the big girls?
Look at Wolfy's sexy boxer shorts! Don't tell people what to say. And put that belly away. You DID THAT TO YOURSELF. I'm fat too, I would NEVER act self pityingly about it. She shoved the food in my mouth. It's not like she woke up one morning fat, it's a gradual process. Don't have a go at other people. I really hope Wolfy goes next week. I'd love to see her face.
Gina's got an eating disorder and she would never tell anyone about it. Except then.
I quite like the way Dexter dresses in his little suits with his handkerchiefs.
Wolfy: camo and tartan do not go together. Wolfy; YOU'RE the one who's insecure! Wolfy is desperately looking for a reason to nominate Charlie. It's a JOKE that she's saying she's not insecure. Do people have to run options before this bitch before they can even speak? FUCK OFF! I wish everyone would just stop humouring Wolfy. She needs telling.
Where's Dan, he should be sorting this situation out! Enter stage left. Aw, Dan's not centre of attention, he's mad. His arms are flapping about.
I HATE people who can't accept accept an apology either, that's like making someone sweat overnight. I hate Wolfy!
Sam's having a good old root up his nose! Groo.
Dexter is telling his only friend in the house that he's 'a bit contrived'. I think Dexter is trying to be honest, but he's just socially a mess. But it's true that Dan DOES think that about Callum!
What's up with Daley? What is this thing he wants to say? Fucking say it already! Why did he grab Hazel's head like that? What's going on? We need some production inside Daley's head.
LOL Jemima's doing a desperate last minute shag attempt! Winky says no. Jackie does not look impressed.
Callum's gameplan has been revealed! It's true, you can't be that nice, it's not possible. 'Relationship-based bridges. Is there a way I can leave tomorrow! I've got a a business brain.' That's the most interesting thing he's ever said! Ha, that was Dexterish in it's ridiculousness. Callum IS not what he says in the tin. I want to know who he really is.
Why are Hazel and Charlie pretending to like each other? We know they don't. United against a common enemy; ugly people.
It's GOT TO BE Jemima. Your fate is sealed. Get to fuck. Aw, Dexter is proper blubbing. Too cute. Jemima's eviction dress is actually reasonably nice for her. That blinking picture of her is too creepy.
Jemima - still deluded: 'most of the housemates thought I was going to stay tonight.' That's what they said to you. Leave Dexter alone! Off, off, off! Ha. Emma should tell the crowd to STFU.
Jemima: 'Gina was least enjoying it the most.' That's almost English.
Emma telling Jemima that Gina is loved by the public, ha. Dan vs Jemima: he must be smiling tonight.
Jemima wasn't able to show her 'funny, witty, entertaining' side. Ha!
I thought Emma was quite cold with Jemima! She was annoying but she didn't deserve that much stink eye.
Thank God, we'll never have to see Jemima and Sam consummate their relationship. All hail King Dexter!
Ooh, has Emma got red shorts on? Kinky! Podcast in a bit. Night!
Dexter looks worn out! I'm not sure I like Emma's monochrome sack either.
Is Daley really asking Barry Styles if he'd do a magazine deal with Jemima? Ooh, Dexter is chiming in with his PR advice. Hilarious!
Jemima, you're too old for plaits. I'm too old for plaits at 33. You're definitely too old. The cowboy hat is not helping, either.
Dexter is telling Dan and Hazel that he dressed up for men in stockings on a webcam! What is wrong with this man? Dan: 'did you have a wank?' Dexter says, he's not bisexual, 'he's not arsed'.
Any straight man who says if 'Ryan Gosling walked in' isn't straight! I agree with what mystery twin said, 'do men make you turned on'? Dexter is 'fairly straight.' I love it! I want to see Dexter in his stockings. Notice Daley went 'urgh'! Homophobe!
Not another 'save me' speech. Aw, Dexter's speech was quite touching. I think he's quite lovely. He's silly, but lovely.
The mum and daughter are wearing matching peach. Coordinated!
Note to producers: Don't make Sophie read from cards again. Hide and seek! I've never seen inside the store room before. The store room takes centre stage in BBUS! Why is there no food in the store room? 500 bananas would liven things up.
Whenever those twins are funny, it's unintentional. See all the dirty pants hanging by the vegetable patch?! Yuck. That task was way lame. Is that the best they can do on a Friday night? Doesn't matter how much dramatic music you put on hide and seek, it's still hide and seek.
Jemima is wearing a chefs top and knee high socks! What is she thinking? Big Brother should really have done humanity a favour and shredded her suitcase. Her clothes are disgusting.
Hazel's business is selling photos of herself. Must be so fulfilling!
Look at the the way Dexter sits in that chair; like a praying mantis.
Ooh, fat gate! It IS kind of annoying when skinny people say they're fat, but Charlie just means it relative to herself. It does feel insulting when skinny people say it, but they don't mean it rudely, I think.
Wolfy busted out the 'I'm not being funny!' It's your fault if you're fat, Wolfy, and I thought she was doing it for the big girls?
Look at Wolfy's sexy boxer shorts! Don't tell people what to say. And put that belly away. You DID THAT TO YOURSELF. I'm fat too, I would NEVER act self pityingly about it. She shoved the food in my mouth. It's not like she woke up one morning fat, it's a gradual process. Don't have a go at other people. I really hope Wolfy goes next week. I'd love to see her face.
Gina's got an eating disorder and she would never tell anyone about it. Except then.
I quite like the way Dexter dresses in his little suits with his handkerchiefs.
Wolfy: camo and tartan do not go together. Wolfy; YOU'RE the one who's insecure! Wolfy is desperately looking for a reason to nominate Charlie. It's a JOKE that she's saying she's not insecure. Do people have to run options before this bitch before they can even speak? FUCK OFF! I wish everyone would just stop humouring Wolfy. She needs telling.
Where's Dan, he should be sorting this situation out! Enter stage left. Aw, Dan's not centre of attention, he's mad. His arms are flapping about.
I HATE people who can't accept accept an apology either, that's like making someone sweat overnight. I hate Wolfy!
Sam's having a good old root up his nose! Groo.
Dexter is telling his only friend in the house that he's 'a bit contrived'. I think Dexter is trying to be honest, but he's just socially a mess. But it's true that Dan DOES think that about Callum!
What's up with Daley? What is this thing he wants to say? Fucking say it already! Why did he grab Hazel's head like that? What's going on? We need some production inside Daley's head.
LOL Jemima's doing a desperate last minute shag attempt! Winky says no. Jackie does not look impressed.
Callum's gameplan has been revealed! It's true, you can't be that nice, it's not possible. 'Relationship-based bridges. Is there a way I can leave tomorrow! I've got a a business brain.' That's the most interesting thing he's ever said! Ha, that was Dexterish in it's ridiculousness. Callum IS not what he says in the tin. I want to know who he really is.
Why are Hazel and Charlie pretending to like each other? We know they don't. United against a common enemy; ugly people.
It's GOT TO BE Jemima. Your fate is sealed. Get to fuck. Aw, Dexter is proper blubbing. Too cute. Jemima's eviction dress is actually reasonably nice for her. That blinking picture of her is too creepy.
Jemima - still deluded: 'most of the housemates thought I was going to stay tonight.' That's what they said to you. Leave Dexter alone! Off, off, off! Ha. Emma should tell the crowd to STFU.
Jemima: 'Gina was least enjoying it the most.' That's almost English.
Emma telling Jemima that Gina is loved by the public, ha. Dan vs Jemima: he must be smiling tonight.
Jemima wasn't able to show her 'funny, witty, entertaining' side. Ha!
I thought Emma was quite cold with Jemima! She was annoying but she didn't deserve that much stink eye.
Thank God, we'll never have to see Jemima and Sam consummate their relationship. All hail King Dexter!
Ooh, has Emma got red shorts on? Kinky! Podcast in a bit. Night!
Thursday, 27 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: This whole place is a pile of wank
Hello, Big Brother family. Here we are, clinging on for dear life whilst everyone around us wonders why we're still bothering. But they don't know what we know. We will take any old shit they throw at us and we will enjoy it!
Dexter's bedhead - mmm mmm! My boyfriend is asking me who I'd sleep with out of this and that housemate. The answer is pretty much Dexter against everyone. He hates this task.
Callum is 'drawn to Charlie'. He's combing her hair! Is that a friend thing or a romantic thing? Neither, really.
Twin(s) moaning about food! Well, I never. Who cast these dullards in the house? They have NOTHING about them! Argggghhhhhh!
Wolfy's lesbianism called into question by Detective Dan! Get your story straight, Wolfy! Talking to insects: fine. Underage sex: hell, no. Dan is an idiot; girls do go out and have sex at 14! Plenty of places serve drinks to younger girls all over the country. Dan is barking up the wrong tree here. Just because HE wasn't shagging around at 14, a lot of people ARE. He didn't even come out until he was x age, did he? See, Gina got served at 14! I think Dan is just bored and looking for something to do and it's just in his nature to pick at things endlessly.
It aint all bad in quarantine, they've got Loreal products.
Hair shaving! Always a winner. This is cruel. Why are they torturing the contestants this year?! I mean, I'm all for it in a way, but can't it be ones of my choosing?!
At least we'll be able to tell the twins apart now! One's got a shaved head and his bum crack out. The other is fatter. LOL, at last we're seeing some teeth from Jack! That was the first time the twins interested me; when I could see them as two individuals.
Ha, Jackie's bottled it! Who can blame her? I feel like she's going to walk at this rate. I hope they let the others out soon, it would be funny after the head shaving nonsense!
Big Brother is making an old lady cry. Nice.
Jemima couldn't have her head shaved 'in her business.' What business is that?
Callum is wearing some grotesque shorts that look like something my brother would have worn in the 90s.
My boyfriend is moaning that the task is going on too long. They do always milk them a bit too much. It's because they've spent on the props and they want to get their money's worth.
Get the meat! The twins need their meat sweats. They look like they're going dead slow on this task. 'Don't you dare drop the ice cream.' How come Dan gets to pick what food they get? It'll be all donuts and bacon.
Gina - the lager lout! They're singling her out; it could be a racist incident. Lager, lager, lager! I like it when Gina acts like a spoilt princess. 'You can piss off'. I like Big Brother telling her to sit back down!
Ha, Gina is calling for her lawyer. Better call Saul. It's like the Playboy twins or Heidi and Spencer are back in the house! I like it when people act like prima donnas and throw their weight around.
Gina, don't tell them you're not going to get the shopping because of you. The twins are going to stick you in that jail yourself. The first interesting thing Daley has said is his suggestion to 'round Gina up like a sheep.'
God, is it not bad enough Gina has to go to jail but she has to wear Wolfy's poncho, too? I bet it stinks! Gina: 'I don't need to eat.' Ha.
Oh, Dexter, stop crawling to BB, it doesn't suit you.
I'm glad Gina is safe. She looked so shocked when she was saved. Dexter and Jemima looked sick!
I wish Jemima would piss off. Hopefully she will tomorrow. The sound of her voice is like nails down 5,000 blackboards.
Gina's got Callum's seal of approval: 'you're a good person.' Thanks for that! She was funny in the Diary Room. She has got a real soft side. Gina's team Dexter, too! Give sleaze a chance: save Dexter. Send Jemima and her knee high socks packing.
Dexter's bedhead - mmm mmm! My boyfriend is asking me who I'd sleep with out of this and that housemate. The answer is pretty much Dexter against everyone. He hates this task.
Callum is 'drawn to Charlie'. He's combing her hair! Is that a friend thing or a romantic thing? Neither, really.
Twin(s) moaning about food! Well, I never. Who cast these dullards in the house? They have NOTHING about them! Argggghhhhhh!
Wolfy's lesbianism called into question by Detective Dan! Get your story straight, Wolfy! Talking to insects: fine. Underage sex: hell, no. Dan is an idiot; girls do go out and have sex at 14! Plenty of places serve drinks to younger girls all over the country. Dan is barking up the wrong tree here. Just because HE wasn't shagging around at 14, a lot of people ARE. He didn't even come out until he was x age, did he? See, Gina got served at 14! I think Dan is just bored and looking for something to do and it's just in his nature to pick at things endlessly.
It aint all bad in quarantine, they've got Loreal products.
Hair shaving! Always a winner. This is cruel. Why are they torturing the contestants this year?! I mean, I'm all for it in a way, but can't it be ones of my choosing?!
At least we'll be able to tell the twins apart now! One's got a shaved head and his bum crack out. The other is fatter. LOL, at last we're seeing some teeth from Jack! That was the first time the twins interested me; when I could see them as two individuals.
Ha, Jackie's bottled it! Who can blame her? I feel like she's going to walk at this rate. I hope they let the others out soon, it would be funny after the head shaving nonsense!
Big Brother is making an old lady cry. Nice.
Jemima couldn't have her head shaved 'in her business.' What business is that?
Callum is wearing some grotesque shorts that look like something my brother would have worn in the 90s.
My boyfriend is moaning that the task is going on too long. They do always milk them a bit too much. It's because they've spent on the props and they want to get their money's worth.
Get the meat! The twins need their meat sweats. They look like they're going dead slow on this task. 'Don't you dare drop the ice cream.' How come Dan gets to pick what food they get? It'll be all donuts and bacon.
Gina - the lager lout! They're singling her out; it could be a racist incident. Lager, lager, lager! I like it when Gina acts like a spoilt princess. 'You can piss off'. I like Big Brother telling her to sit back down!
Ha, Gina is calling for her lawyer. Better call Saul. It's like the Playboy twins or Heidi and Spencer are back in the house! I like it when people act like prima donnas and throw their weight around.
Gina, don't tell them you're not going to get the shopping because of you. The twins are going to stick you in that jail yourself. The first interesting thing Daley has said is his suggestion to 'round Gina up like a sheep.'
God, is it not bad enough Gina has to go to jail but she has to wear Wolfy's poncho, too? I bet it stinks! Gina: 'I don't need to eat.' Ha.
Oh, Dexter, stop crawling to BB, it doesn't suit you.
I'm glad Gina is safe. She looked so shocked when she was saved. Dexter and Jemima looked sick!
I wish Jemima would piss off. Hopefully she will tomorrow. The sound of her voice is like nails down 5,000 blackboards.
Gina's got Callum's seal of approval: 'you're a good person.' Thanks for that! She was funny in the Diary Room. She has got a real soft side. Gina's team Dexter, too! Give sleaze a chance: save Dexter. Send Jemima and her knee high socks packing.
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: Zombie nation
So they've axed live feed! Thanks for your crumb. What arseholes. They never planned to keep it going in the first place, they just wanted to blame us for it not existing anymore. Well perhaps if you'd promoted it and put it on a decent channel, people will have watched it, you mutants.
ZOMBIES. Dead set. I hope Charlie Brooker is getting a payoff. The zombies look quite good but there's only about three of them. Ah, my boyfriend said it's cos The Walking Dead is on soon. Tie in!
'There's zombies in the house.' Insert joke here.
AJ is doing the link! Has Emma been eaten? This is quite a good task. They should do Rylan up like a zombie. He'd be able to eat people effectively with those teeth.
Only six gas masks? Have they ever heard of ladies first? That's the only time when I'd gladly welcome sexism: on the Titanic.
How did Gina not get a gas mask? Why is everyone on the block in the bad area? Sophie: 'Are we just going to be sitting here all day?' What else did you have planned?
My boyfriend is moaning that there's no point to this task and that it's all filler. Isn't it just to humiliate the women and take their make up off them? I feel sorry for Gina without her warrior paint on. OMG, she's doing the task! They are trying to keep her in, aren't they? Gina's face was a picture! I'd have just said NO. I reckon it's not what they said in the blender. It's probably just something else.
She's a good sport! I wouldn't have done that. This is horrible, they are TORTURING HER! I think Gina knows this will keep her in the house. She wouldn't do it if she wasn't up for noms. 'Think of it as Galaxy Cookie Crumble.'
I can't BELIEVE she's doing it. I'm very impressed with her. Maybe Gina was worth keeping in after all? Maybe she'll become a different person? Maybe she'll have a JOURNEY™?.
Gina is reapplying her warpaint. Charlie and Callum are enjoying time without her mother. Barely a peep out of Dan and Dexter tonight!
I hate those idiot twins; they've not give a hundredth of the entertainment of Dexter, and there's two of them. I keep hearing they're funny; they've not made me crack a smile once.
Ha, next they will torture Dan. Callum is pulling an 'I'm only following orders' face. Hazel looks quite pleased at the prospect of frightening Dan.
It's actually hilarious watching Dan get tortured. Hazel did some good acting there. Callum is actressing well, too. That was brilliant! I love to hate Dan, but he's a great character. I don't want him out.
Dan is wearing some ridiculous pedal pushers and a gross cardigan. He looked better in the bin bag.
OMG I was just complaining about Dan's stupid hair and my boyfriend said he thinks it looks alright! WTF? It does NOT look alright. It looks RIDICULOUS.
God, do those twins ever stop going on about meat?! I'd kick those twins, Sophie and Daley out in a heartbeat.
I wish Wolfy was infected. Talking to the animals and wants to eat meat? What a fucking hypocrite. I wish someone would call her out on that.
They shouldn't make an old lady crawl through a tube. It doesn't seem right. I hope there's some some ventilation in that biohazard smoking cube. Jackie can't hack it! She'd be shit in a zombie apocalypse. I think she's having a crack up.
Ooh are Charlie and Callum going to get it on now mum's out of the way? Quick, get the towels ready.
I've (tried to) sleep under foil before, on a crate at a festival when someone stole my tent. It was shit. Jackie's got a bad back, so they shouldn't really do that to her.
Ooh, they're crossing to the house to save someone! I haven't voted yet. Ooh, there's Emma Willis. She did survive the zombie apocalypse after all.
SAVE DEXTER. I want to see Dan's face. Wow, Gina was saved! Cool, Dexter should be safe against Jemima for sure.
Oh God, they're making them do save me speeches. Oh, even better, it's why the public should evict the other person over you. Ooh he didn't bag her! He just did a speech about himself. It's all about Dexter, baby. But that was a classy speech.
Jemima went for 'you haven't seen the best of me yet' speech! And she was nasty to Dexter. Bitch. I'm going to ring up to evict her right now. Look at the way everyone just ignored Dexter after, except Jackie. I hate them!
Aw, at least Gina said 'I hope you don't go' to him. I don't think it's that Dexter creeps, he's just socially awkward. The others are just cunts. Yes, I said THE C WORD. If you don't like it, go write to Points of View. The end.
ZOMBIES. Dead set. I hope Charlie Brooker is getting a payoff. The zombies look quite good but there's only about three of them. Ah, my boyfriend said it's cos The Walking Dead is on soon. Tie in!
'There's zombies in the house.' Insert joke here.
AJ is doing the link! Has Emma been eaten? This is quite a good task. They should do Rylan up like a zombie. He'd be able to eat people effectively with those teeth.
Only six gas masks? Have they ever heard of ladies first? That's the only time when I'd gladly welcome sexism: on the Titanic.
How did Gina not get a gas mask? Why is everyone on the block in the bad area? Sophie: 'Are we just going to be sitting here all day?' What else did you have planned?
My boyfriend is moaning that there's no point to this task and that it's all filler. Isn't it just to humiliate the women and take their make up off them? I feel sorry for Gina without her warrior paint on. OMG, she's doing the task! They are trying to keep her in, aren't they? Gina's face was a picture! I'd have just said NO. I reckon it's not what they said in the blender. It's probably just something else.
She's a good sport! I wouldn't have done that. This is horrible, they are TORTURING HER! I think Gina knows this will keep her in the house. She wouldn't do it if she wasn't up for noms. 'Think of it as Galaxy Cookie Crumble.'
I can't BELIEVE she's doing it. I'm very impressed with her. Maybe Gina was worth keeping in after all? Maybe she'll become a different person? Maybe she'll have a JOURNEY™?.
Gina is reapplying her warpaint. Charlie and Callum are enjoying time without her mother. Barely a peep out of Dan and Dexter tonight!
I hate those idiot twins; they've not give a hundredth of the entertainment of Dexter, and there's two of them. I keep hearing they're funny; they've not made me crack a smile once.
Ha, next they will torture Dan. Callum is pulling an 'I'm only following orders' face. Hazel looks quite pleased at the prospect of frightening Dan.
It's actually hilarious watching Dan get tortured. Hazel did some good acting there. Callum is actressing well, too. That was brilliant! I love to hate Dan, but he's a great character. I don't want him out.
Dan is wearing some ridiculous pedal pushers and a gross cardigan. He looked better in the bin bag.
OMG I was just complaining about Dan's stupid hair and my boyfriend said he thinks it looks alright! WTF? It does NOT look alright. It looks RIDICULOUS.
God, do those twins ever stop going on about meat?! I'd kick those twins, Sophie and Daley out in a heartbeat.
I wish Wolfy was infected. Talking to the animals and wants to eat meat? What a fucking hypocrite. I wish someone would call her out on that.
They shouldn't make an old lady crawl through a tube. It doesn't seem right. I hope there's some some ventilation in that biohazard smoking cube. Jackie can't hack it! She'd be shit in a zombie apocalypse. I think she's having a crack up.
Ooh are Charlie and Callum going to get it on now mum's out of the way? Quick, get the towels ready.
I've (tried to) sleep under foil before, on a crate at a festival when someone stole my tent. It was shit. Jackie's got a bad back, so they shouldn't really do that to her.
Ooh, they're crossing to the house to save someone! I haven't voted yet. Ooh, there's Emma Willis. She did survive the zombie apocalypse after all.
SAVE DEXTER. I want to see Dan's face. Wow, Gina was saved! Cool, Dexter should be safe against Jemima for sure.
Oh God, they're making them do save me speeches. Oh, even better, it's why the public should evict the other person over you. Ooh he didn't bag her! He just did a speech about himself. It's all about Dexter, baby. But that was a classy speech.
Jemima went for 'you haven't seen the best of me yet' speech! And she was nasty to Dexter. Bitch. I'm going to ring up to evict her right now. Look at the way everyone just ignored Dexter after, except Jackie. I hate them!
Aw, at least Gina said 'I hope you don't go' to him. I don't think it's that Dexter creeps, he's just socially awkward. The others are just cunts. Yes, I said THE C WORD. If you don't like it, go write to Points of View. The end.
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: I'm sure the public are going to love me
Looks like Gina and Dexter are back on form tonight, which is a relief after a few days of them fitting in and making friends. Boring!
Jack and Joe shower times: SEXY! Oh, STFU Wolfy. I hear that bee said you're a cunt. How about that?
Has Dexter been swapped for an evil twin? How would we tell?
Idiot twin having a go at Dexter; be quiet. That sounded like a threat to me! Dipshit. I like Dexter's glasses and his hair today. He's just changed his hair and now they think he's fucking Clark Kent or something. No wonder Superman got away with it for all these years if people are that unobservant.
I feel like Sam needs a friend his own age in there; like his own mental age.
I HATE Hazel now. I hate her platonic cuddlemance with Dan. I hate her lording it over everyone in the house. I just think she's a cow. That's it. Her and Dan are on my shitlist.
Ha, I like the fact Dexter is playing up to this twin bullshit. At least he's getting some attention, hey? I heart Dexter so much. I hope Jemima goes this week.
I have that matt and messy Loreal spray, product placement fans, and it not only doesn't work, it smells horrible. Stick that on your Weetabix.
Ha, Dan is getting a haircut even stupider than his current haircut. Quite a feat.
Aw, Callum is showing his sensitive side. He fancies Charlie! Well, I never. He thinks she's out of his league. I don't think so, I think they're quite well matched. His leg is going like the clappers.
Oh dear, Hazel's boyfriend took his own life. Grim. Uh oh, Charlie, that was WAY out of line asking his Hazel's boyfriend killed himself because of her. She can be pretty blunt at times. She should have said sorry immediately after that.
I hate the camera angles in that tree house! I know it's meant to be awkward for them, but it makes it awkward to watch for us, too.
I hate to say it, but Hazel is really going to milk this. Eek, even Charlie's apology seemed insincere. I wonder if it's drugs that make you sometimes very blunt - like your brain somehow isn't wired up right, because Hazel is right, it doesn't seem like something Charlie would say.
Noms! Gina: 'Oh, her.' about Jemima. Dismissed! How does Dexter know it's vote to evict?
Gina's gonna go Hulk style! 'You don't pay my bills. I don't owe you anything.' Who's going to explain to her that's not how friendship works? Friendship isn't currency, no matter what Beyonce tells you. Aw, Gina thought she'd been accepted and hadn't. Haha, she'd 'pretended to try and like them.' She's done her best! This is proper good diary room sulk. 'They're just all cocksuckers.' Enough said.
I don't think I've ever heard more famous last words than 'I'm sure the public out there are going to love me.' Not with those sartorial choices, Jemima.
I like the idea of Gina and Dexter teaming up in an alliance. The rich crowd! Sometimes Gina seems quite sweet and innocent; you get glimpses of it on occasion when she smiles.
Dexter: 'show yourself!' The new 'know yourself!' Move over, Ashleeeeeen. Dexter has promised to 'tear some people open.' I'll believe it when I see it.
Oh Hazel. Shut up. It's a terrible tragedy, but don't go on. Ooooh, Jemima is having a go at Charlie to Jackie! A smack in the mouth could be coming your way, Jemima. Oh shut up, Jemima, I can't stand people who go 'you don't know what I've been through.' No, I don't know, and I don't care. Fuck off. It's not a hardship competition. Everyone's been through shit. It's not about you this time.
OMG - Jemima 'my daughter died in front of me.... and I had to resuscitate her.' So she didn't die then! Get this bitch out, that is completely out of order. Why is Jemima being so cold-hearted? I hate her now. She's being a proper cunt. A mother can't protect her daughter? WTF? This is soooo awkward. Ahh, Dan is calming the situation down. That's a relief. Oink!
Gina is rapping in the kitchen. Keep her in! Sophie's probably 'cushty' because she's flying so far under the radar she's virtually doing the limbo. Yap, yap, yap. Shut it.
Dexter has realised no one likes him in the house. It's OK, cos I think he's quite well liked outside. I agree that finding two friends out of ten is a good deal. Those ten people are dicks. 'I've come in here to 'de-arsehole myself'. Brilliant. He's soundbite heaven.
Charlie, don't apologise for your mum sticking up for you. Your mum sticking up for you is one of the greatest things you can have in life.
Jemima is looking for a row. I wish she would just shut up and leave. Quickly. Doesn't she know you're meant to keep your mouth shut if you're up for nomination? Dan is seething. Jemima is 'me, me, me, me.' Trouble is, no one is interested in her.
'AS A MOTHER!' The worst crime in history. Dan is actually right here, but I think he just fancies an argument, too. He's right though, Jemima was out of order to Jackie.
Jemima is dressed like a bellydancer. Ha, Dan is correct, 'you said your daughter died and she didn't die.' And I like his jumper.
YOU WEREN'T THERE, DAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE! She DID put it too dramatically. He's spot on. Jemima, yes you did over-exaggerate. Dan is saying EVERYTHING I would say if I was in that house. I'm glad he lost his temper with her. Could Dan be getting back into my good books!? Ooh, and he even made a reference to fencesitters! I like it when I flip flop on a housemate. It makes it more interesting. Normally I just flop them out of favour and that's it. But I think I could be back and forth with Dan. Interesting!
Jack and Joe shower times: SEXY! Oh, STFU Wolfy. I hear that bee said you're a cunt. How about that?
Has Dexter been swapped for an evil twin? How would we tell?
Idiot twin having a go at Dexter; be quiet. That sounded like a threat to me! Dipshit. I like Dexter's glasses and his hair today. He's just changed his hair and now they think he's fucking Clark Kent or something. No wonder Superman got away with it for all these years if people are that unobservant.
I feel like Sam needs a friend his own age in there; like his own mental age.
I HATE Hazel now. I hate her platonic cuddlemance with Dan. I hate her lording it over everyone in the house. I just think she's a cow. That's it. Her and Dan are on my shitlist.
Ha, I like the fact Dexter is playing up to this twin bullshit. At least he's getting some attention, hey? I heart Dexter so much. I hope Jemima goes this week.
I have that matt and messy Loreal spray, product placement fans, and it not only doesn't work, it smells horrible. Stick that on your Weetabix.
Ha, Dan is getting a haircut even stupider than his current haircut. Quite a feat.
Aw, Callum is showing his sensitive side. He fancies Charlie! Well, I never. He thinks she's out of his league. I don't think so, I think they're quite well matched. His leg is going like the clappers.
Oh dear, Hazel's boyfriend took his own life. Grim. Uh oh, Charlie, that was WAY out of line asking his Hazel's boyfriend killed himself because of her. She can be pretty blunt at times. She should have said sorry immediately after that.
I hate the camera angles in that tree house! I know it's meant to be awkward for them, but it makes it awkward to watch for us, too.
I hate to say it, but Hazel is really going to milk this. Eek, even Charlie's apology seemed insincere. I wonder if it's drugs that make you sometimes very blunt - like your brain somehow isn't wired up right, because Hazel is right, it doesn't seem like something Charlie would say.
Noms! Gina: 'Oh, her.' about Jemima. Dismissed! How does Dexter know it's vote to evict?
Gina's gonna go Hulk style! 'You don't pay my bills. I don't owe you anything.' Who's going to explain to her that's not how friendship works? Friendship isn't currency, no matter what Beyonce tells you. Aw, Gina thought she'd been accepted and hadn't. Haha, she'd 'pretended to try and like them.' She's done her best! This is proper good diary room sulk. 'They're just all cocksuckers.' Enough said.
I don't think I've ever heard more famous last words than 'I'm sure the public out there are going to love me.' Not with those sartorial choices, Jemima.
I like the idea of Gina and Dexter teaming up in an alliance. The rich crowd! Sometimes Gina seems quite sweet and innocent; you get glimpses of it on occasion when she smiles.
Dexter: 'show yourself!' The new 'know yourself!' Move over, Ashleeeeeen. Dexter has promised to 'tear some people open.' I'll believe it when I see it.
Oh Hazel. Shut up. It's a terrible tragedy, but don't go on. Ooooh, Jemima is having a go at Charlie to Jackie! A smack in the mouth could be coming your way, Jemima. Oh shut up, Jemima, I can't stand people who go 'you don't know what I've been through.' No, I don't know, and I don't care. Fuck off. It's not a hardship competition. Everyone's been through shit. It's not about you this time.
OMG - Jemima 'my daughter died in front of me.... and I had to resuscitate her.' So she didn't die then! Get this bitch out, that is completely out of order. Why is Jemima being so cold-hearted? I hate her now. She's being a proper cunt. A mother can't protect her daughter? WTF? This is soooo awkward. Ahh, Dan is calming the situation down. That's a relief. Oink!
Gina is rapping in the kitchen. Keep her in! Sophie's probably 'cushty' because she's flying so far under the radar she's virtually doing the limbo. Yap, yap, yap. Shut it.
Dexter has realised no one likes him in the house. It's OK, cos I think he's quite well liked outside. I agree that finding two friends out of ten is a good deal. Those ten people are dicks. 'I've come in here to 'de-arsehole myself'. Brilliant. He's soundbite heaven.
Charlie, don't apologise for your mum sticking up for you. Your mum sticking up for you is one of the greatest things you can have in life.
Jemima is looking for a row. I wish she would just shut up and leave. Quickly. Doesn't she know you're meant to keep your mouth shut if you're up for nomination? Dan is seething. Jemima is 'me, me, me, me.' Trouble is, no one is interested in her.
'AS A MOTHER!' The worst crime in history. Dan is actually right here, but I think he just fancies an argument, too. He's right though, Jemima was out of order to Jackie.
Jemima is dressed like a bellydancer. Ha, Dan is correct, 'you said your daughter died and she didn't die.' And I like his jumper.
YOU WEREN'T THERE, DAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE! She DID put it too dramatically. He's spot on. Jemima, yes you did over-exaggerate. Dan is saying EVERYTHING I would say if I was in that house. I'm glad he lost his temper with her. Could Dan be getting back into my good books!? Ooh, and he even made a reference to fencesitters! I like it when I flip flop on a housemate. It makes it more interesting. Normally I just flop them out of favour and that's it. But I think I could be back and forth with Dan. Interesting!
Monday, 24 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: Nominations - first blood
Everyone's looking like a painting on HD tonight. Or is that just the opening credits being arty? It looks like everyone's been in Vincent Van Gogh's photo booth!
Nominations! Ooh, they're bringing out the wub wubs. This means business. It's so OBVIOUS Dexter's going to be up, and he's probably going to go. Waa!
I've got something to teach you, Wolfy, physical violence. Hazel's duck mouth is starting to get on my nerves, and it's directly proportionate to her being a bitch. She's quite subtle with it, but she's definitely a bitch. I prefer my bitches more forthright.
Nominations! Vote smart, Dexter. Look at the way he's sitting, like a tiny overlord. Dan - yes. The twins?! A completely pointless vote. Sadly we're stuck with them for weeks yet.
Ooh, Dan voted for Dexter and Wolfy. I'd love to see Wolfy up, because she'll sulk like hell.
Hazel is so rude to Dexter. She treats him like something on the bottom of her shoe.
Wolfy nominated Dexter and Jemima. Hazel nominated Gina and Dexter. Apparently Dexter, like Coleen Nolan, goes from group to group mixing. Votes quite split so far. Except all the ones for Dexter, of course.
Wolfy: 'I spoke to a bee earlier. It told me to expect the unexpected.' Gina: 'Really?'
Daley nominated Gina because she didn't like his own brand clothes. He also nominated Jemima. No Dexter? Yay. Interesting to see what he's thinking, at last.
Callum nominated Jemima and Gina as well. I think Callum could win it at this point. He's just a lovely guy. Yes, a little on the dull side. But a really nice guy.
I've noticed that Dan's often got this look on his face like that dick from The Wanted, like he's got a bad smell under his nose. Maybe it's the fake tan.
Boo, Sophie's nominating Dexter. A pointless housemate nominating an interesting housemate. And Gina. Looks like Gina will be up, too.
Oh no, Sam's nominating Dexter, too. And Gina. I don't mind Sam so much, lately. I think he's just naive and a bit out of his depth.
Gina: 'potatoes are filthy.' They grow in the ground, FFS. Slap some make up on it, it'll be fine.
Charlie nominated Jemima for being an old perv and Dexter - aw. My boyfriend thinks Dexter might have the Freddie factor. I think he might have an uphill struggle on his hands.
Twins nominated Dexter and Gina. Gina got a lot more votes than I thought she would. I think the others see her as quite superior. I must confess, I know fuck all about her.
Jemima nommed Dexter and Gina, too. I thought Jemima would get more votes, to be honest.
Jackie nominated Gina and Dexter. There's a pattern here.
Gina nominated Jeramiah (sorry, Jemima) and Dexter. Oh, they're putting the top three up for the public vote. I prefer than to just two actually. Can Dexter survive, though? It looks unlikely.
Big Brother jail. Throw away the key. Gina saying she feels sorry for Dexter, and then Wolfy going 'that's how he worms his way in.' How nasty! Gina, don't worry about nominating Dexter, he would have been up ten times over, anyway. I hope Jemima goes over Gina this week.
I think Hazel has got the hots for Dan a bit, I heard her on the live feed calling Dan her 'house boyfriend' and they're all over each other. I wouldn't be happy about it if I was her significant other.
OMG Dan is having a go at Callum! What a cunt. You really can't say anything bad about Callum. I think this is because Callum stuck up for Dexter - he DIDN'T sit on the fence, contrary to what Dan said. It was impossible to judge the proximity of Callum to Dan there, but I wish he had heard. Dan is such a scrotum, he really is. You can't win with this dude; too nice, too this, too that.
That's cruel they told them the number of nominations. Quite unfair on Dexter. I quite like his Clark Kent look. Gina looked a bit upset, too. Also, it's obvious who didn't vote for Dexter when they say he got ten noms. Haha, that was a proper good silence. I like a bit of silence in the BB house, it's so rare. Weird ending, though.
Nominations! Ooh, they're bringing out the wub wubs. This means business. It's so OBVIOUS Dexter's going to be up, and he's probably going to go. Waa!
I've got something to teach you, Wolfy, physical violence. Hazel's duck mouth is starting to get on my nerves, and it's directly proportionate to her being a bitch. She's quite subtle with it, but she's definitely a bitch. I prefer my bitches more forthright.
Nominations! Vote smart, Dexter. Look at the way he's sitting, like a tiny overlord. Dan - yes. The twins?! A completely pointless vote. Sadly we're stuck with them for weeks yet.
Ooh, Dan voted for Dexter and Wolfy. I'd love to see Wolfy up, because she'll sulk like hell.
Hazel is so rude to Dexter. She treats him like something on the bottom of her shoe.
Wolfy nominated Dexter and Jemima. Hazel nominated Gina and Dexter. Apparently Dexter, like Coleen Nolan, goes from group to group mixing. Votes quite split so far. Except all the ones for Dexter, of course.
Wolfy: 'I spoke to a bee earlier. It told me to expect the unexpected.' Gina: 'Really?'
Daley nominated Gina because she didn't like his own brand clothes. He also nominated Jemima. No Dexter? Yay. Interesting to see what he's thinking, at last.
Callum nominated Jemima and Gina as well. I think Callum could win it at this point. He's just a lovely guy. Yes, a little on the dull side. But a really nice guy.
I've noticed that Dan's often got this look on his face like that dick from The Wanted, like he's got a bad smell under his nose. Maybe it's the fake tan.
Boo, Sophie's nominating Dexter. A pointless housemate nominating an interesting housemate. And Gina. Looks like Gina will be up, too.
Oh no, Sam's nominating Dexter, too. And Gina. I don't mind Sam so much, lately. I think he's just naive and a bit out of his depth.
Gina: 'potatoes are filthy.' They grow in the ground, FFS. Slap some make up on it, it'll be fine.
Charlie nominated Jemima for being an old perv and Dexter - aw. My boyfriend thinks Dexter might have the Freddie factor. I think he might have an uphill struggle on his hands.
Twins nominated Dexter and Gina. Gina got a lot more votes than I thought she would. I think the others see her as quite superior. I must confess, I know fuck all about her.
Jemima nommed Dexter and Gina, too. I thought Jemima would get more votes, to be honest.
Jackie nominated Gina and Dexter. There's a pattern here.
Gina nominated Jeramiah (sorry, Jemima) and Dexter. Oh, they're putting the top three up for the public vote. I prefer than to just two actually. Can Dexter survive, though? It looks unlikely.
Big Brother jail. Throw away the key. Gina saying she feels sorry for Dexter, and then Wolfy going 'that's how he worms his way in.' How nasty! Gina, don't worry about nominating Dexter, he would have been up ten times over, anyway. I hope Jemima goes over Gina this week.
I think Hazel has got the hots for Dan a bit, I heard her on the live feed calling Dan her 'house boyfriend' and they're all over each other. I wouldn't be happy about it if I was her significant other.
OMG Dan is having a go at Callum! What a cunt. You really can't say anything bad about Callum. I think this is because Callum stuck up for Dexter - he DIDN'T sit on the fence, contrary to what Dan said. It was impossible to judge the proximity of Callum to Dan there, but I wish he had heard. Dan is such a scrotum, he really is. You can't win with this dude; too nice, too this, too that.
That's cruel they told them the number of nominations. Quite unfair on Dexter. I quite like his Clark Kent look. Gina looked a bit upset, too. Also, it's obvious who didn't vote for Dexter when they say he got ten noms. Haha, that was a proper good silence. I like a bit of silence in the BB house, it's so rare. Weird ending, though.
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: Big Brother's little brain
Wow, Dan actually looks much more attractive with wet hair, ie. without it all brushed up like a hedgehog. Underneath all the smarm and ego, I think there's a nice, attractive man waiting to get out. Unfortunately, I think we're going to be kept waiting. Is Dan 33? He looks older. I'm 33! I must be old, too.
Anyone else tired of all these suspicions? It makes for quite a boring show, in my opinion. He's a mole, she's a mole, everyone's a mole, mole. Can we talk about something else?! It would do my head in if everyone in the house was going on like that. It's doing my head in just watching it.
I think I prefer Sophie when she doesn't speak. Where do they find these boring people? Just thinking about my circle of friends, I can think of about ten of them who would make better housemates.
Jemima's in the kitchen stirring her cauldron - sorry, saucepan.
I like Callum and Charlie! I could see them having an old school style Big Brother romance. I hope one isn't keener than the other, that's always sad.
This memory task is like a BBUS task. What, it's all just red herrings? Boring! Oh it's really a task telling them what others have said about them. Not another shitstirring task! BB really has got it's wooden spoon out this year.
Why is everyone slagging Dexter? Leave him alone! Come on, Dexter hasn't got a girlfriend. Ha, does anyone believe Dexter was a strip club manager?! I doubt if Dexter can manage his own laundry basket. He's still 10 times more entertaining than anyone in that house, though.
Being a socialite is not a job! That's just going to parties. How has Gina got 125,000 followers on Twitter? Did she pay for them?
Dexter, stop being creepy to Hazel. She's not interested. Daley, you don't lead from the back, you're just a bit unusual.
Brain task. No expense spared on the costumes here: swimming caps with brains stuck on top. Must have cost all of £9.99.
Why is Dexter wearing make up?! I'm glad Wolfy got called out on her shitstirring about Dexter. Ha, Dexter looks pissy. I'm glad Wolfy is getting a bit of stick, too. I'm fed up with everyone kissing her butt.
More hate for Dexter! This is kind of cruel. A snake?! Sssssssss. I hate this ganging up. Dexter's hiding under a blankie. I wonder if anyone will go see if he's alright? Probably not.
Dan mentioning 'floaters'! Grab a lifevest, etc. I think Hazel was trying not to laugh in Dexter's face when he said they enjoyed 'a bit of a flirt'.
Dan got off lightly with the Wolfy/mole thing. It was him that said that first! Dan: 'people are scared to say.' Why don't you go say it to Wolfy's face, big man? I notice Jackie isn't saying it outright to him, either.
LOL to Sam telling Jackie he fancies Charlie. What an idiot.
Jemima: knee high socks. Really? Weren't you commenting on others clothes recently? Is Dexter coming onto her now? Ew, Dexter is saying he's a freak in bed and Jemima IS laughing in his face. I think everyone in that house is going to nominate him and it's a shame!
I hate Hazel and Dan bitching, they really think their shit doesn't stink. Charlie is so inoffensive; really unnecessary to say anything bad about her.
Wolfy, why would people think you're a freak? Is it TALKING TO INSECTS? You're an IDIOT. 'I'm crazy, me!' No, you're not. You're a cliche. I think Dexter is doing a bit of vote grabbing/ damage limitation here. Wolfy, Dexter is upset because of something YOU said. You're upset about something someone else said. Get over yourself.
Oh God, I hate almost everyone in the house, and the people I don't hate are boring. Who can I get behind? Dexter aint gonna last two weeks. Bugger.
Anyone else tired of all these suspicions? It makes for quite a boring show, in my opinion. He's a mole, she's a mole, everyone's a mole, mole. Can we talk about something else?! It would do my head in if everyone in the house was going on like that. It's doing my head in just watching it.
I think I prefer Sophie when she doesn't speak. Where do they find these boring people? Just thinking about my circle of friends, I can think of about ten of them who would make better housemates.
Jemima's in the kitchen stirring her cauldron - sorry, saucepan.
I like Callum and Charlie! I could see them having an old school style Big Brother romance. I hope one isn't keener than the other, that's always sad.
This memory task is like a BBUS task. What, it's all just red herrings? Boring! Oh it's really a task telling them what others have said about them. Not another shitstirring task! BB really has got it's wooden spoon out this year.
Why is everyone slagging Dexter? Leave him alone! Come on, Dexter hasn't got a girlfriend. Ha, does anyone believe Dexter was a strip club manager?! I doubt if Dexter can manage his own laundry basket. He's still 10 times more entertaining than anyone in that house, though.
Being a socialite is not a job! That's just going to parties. How has Gina got 125,000 followers on Twitter? Did she pay for them?
Dexter, stop being creepy to Hazel. She's not interested. Daley, you don't lead from the back, you're just a bit unusual.
Brain task. No expense spared on the costumes here: swimming caps with brains stuck on top. Must have cost all of £9.99.
Why is Dexter wearing make up?! I'm glad Wolfy got called out on her shitstirring about Dexter. Ha, Dexter looks pissy. I'm glad Wolfy is getting a bit of stick, too. I'm fed up with everyone kissing her butt.
More hate for Dexter! This is kind of cruel. A snake?! Sssssssss. I hate this ganging up. Dexter's hiding under a blankie. I wonder if anyone will go see if he's alright? Probably not.
Dan mentioning 'floaters'! Grab a lifevest, etc. I think Hazel was trying not to laugh in Dexter's face when he said they enjoyed 'a bit of a flirt'.
Dan got off lightly with the Wolfy/mole thing. It was him that said that first! Dan: 'people are scared to say.' Why don't you go say it to Wolfy's face, big man? I notice Jackie isn't saying it outright to him, either.
LOL to Sam telling Jackie he fancies Charlie. What an idiot.
Jemima: knee high socks. Really? Weren't you commenting on others clothes recently? Is Dexter coming onto her now? Ew, Dexter is saying he's a freak in bed and Jemima IS laughing in his face. I think everyone in that house is going to nominate him and it's a shame!
I hate Hazel and Dan bitching, they really think their shit doesn't stink. Charlie is so inoffensive; really unnecessary to say anything bad about her.
Wolfy, why would people think you're a freak? Is it TALKING TO INSECTS? You're an IDIOT. 'I'm crazy, me!' No, you're not. You're a cliche. I think Dexter is doing a bit of vote grabbing/ damage limitation here. Wolfy, Dexter is upset because of something YOU said. You're upset about something someone else said. Get over yourself.
Oh God, I hate almost everyone in the house, and the people I don't hate are boring. Who can I get behind? Dexter aint gonna last two weeks. Bugger.
Saturday, 22 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: Mole-anoia
So, are the secrets and lies done? Is that really it? I'm thrilled to see the back of Michael and people going 'Sallie didn't get it' aren't getting it, in my opinion. Sallie got it from Day 1, and although Michael's decisions weren't his own, they still affected her game and hurt people. Anyway; she's a loss, and watching live feed, I'm anxious that everyone's getting on too well. Let's hope some more secrets and lies are en route.
So for the first time I'm watching Big Brother in HD because the Sky man came and wiggled my HDMI cable. Now I can see Hazel's boobs, Gina's three foot of foundation and Dan's bog brush hair with crystal clear clarity. My eyes!
I'm so OVER Wolfy's Dr Doolittle act but I'm more over people agreeing with her that a wasp, or spider talked to her. Are you INSANE? Wolfy, sorry to interrupt you behaving like someone who's BARKING MAD. I have a feeling I'm going to get sick of Wolfy pretty quickly, and it's obvious she's going to be in until the end, especially with all this 'doing it for the girls' BS.
I could never say 'no' to someone who was trying to make up with me, I struggle to hold a grudge for more than five minutes. Wolfy is not showing her best side here, and I'm not talking about her looks.
Misery Twin describing the preamble to being on Big Brother as 'aggro'. Well, don't let us keep you, Humpty.
Is Sam singing Linkin Park?
Sallie to Michael: 'you're either an alright actor or a really nasty person.' I think he's both, actually. Even this bickering seems contrived.
HD just seems to make the housemates look a bit grainy! Aw, Sallie's got her sideboob out again. RIP sideboob. I'm still pissy that she's gone. Gina better prove herself to be a decent housemate. I also think it's a testament to Sallie that most of her housemates seemed to genuinely like her and were sorry to see her go. But still, Wolfy, get a grip. You've only known her a week. Wolfy is really on my shitlist right now. I don't think she can really step into Sallie's drama queen shoes. LOL to Gina smirking at Wolfy's pathetic theatrics. I think I'd be smirking, too. Oh, STFU Wolfy.
Interesting to look at the reactions to Michael the mole again. Dan: as expected. Some looked sad. Some looked impressed. Callum, Charlie and the twins were classy about it. I love Gina's awkward comforting of Wolfy! Hilarious. Wolfy, it's not all about you. Say goodbye or something.
Dan's counselling service is great; he'll follow you into the toilet for some wise words whether you like it or not. I'm not sure if that's a cop thing or a gay thing; George Michael's video has confused me.
I really wanted to see Sallie's clothes, and now they give them their suitcases back when she's gone! Oh well, Dexter better have some ridiculous clothes I can laugh at.
Dan: 'I knew this, that and the other.' How did you know all those things, Dan? Was it because a spider told you? Ha, Dan thinks Wolfy's an actor, too. She's going to get upset!
If Sophie and Daley got snatched from their beds tonight, would you even notice? You can't even call them floaters; they're like fucking anchors.
Ha, Jackie and Callum think Dan is a mole too! Mole-anoia. Dexter is my favourite person in the house by a mile, which is the absolute kiss of death for him.
Yes Dan, why did you give up your illustrious career to go in the BB house? He's no Rav Wilding.
What the fuck IS this rap Jackie is singing? Is this a thing? Why isn't Charlie dying of embarrassment? If that was my mum, I'd stand up and physically restrain her. My mum doesn't tend to rap when she has a drink though, she just gets surly.
The only things I've seen Daley do in that house are fart, eat some soup and cry, moan that he wants to go home, and then rub cream on his bum. He's hardly the new Nasty Nick, is he? What sort of strategy is this? What sort of man uses body lotion, anyway? Even I can't be bothered.
Dan's doing some damage control with Jemima; I think his spidey senses are reminding him that nominations are coming up. Jemima's no fool though; she'll see right through him.
Gina's beach ball boobs are really beyond a joke. So, she wants to go anyway!
Bullshit alert: Dexter's mouth is moving. Oh, dear, he's admitting he slept with prostitutes. I thought he WAS a prostitute? This guy can't even get his own story straight. Oh dear, he dropped the 'bird' bomb. Dexter and Daley are both insecure bags of slop (to quote Dan Savage).
Ha, Dan is doing damage control with Dexter, too. Why is Gina jiggling up and down? Ha, oh God, Dexter describing himself as 'deep'. Never a good sign.
Haha, Dexter 'is a little bit metrosexual'. Ah, it all becomes clear! Is that what we're calling bi these days? 'If I was gay I'd go for someone like Dan.' Ha! That's not something straight people even think. OK, I'm beginning to get it now. Dexter is hiding a lot more than just insecurities. Aw, that was too cute when Dan ruffled his hair. That might have just saved Dexter from being nominated by Dan this week, as I think Dan might rather like the idea of someone fancying him in there.
Gina and Wolfy: the most unlikely friends in history. Do you think they'd let Wolfy in the Savoy?
One of the twins looks skinnier than the other now. Must be the Weetabix diet. Ah, it must be the gay one as he knew about theatre (that's me on a formal warning from Big Brother). OK, I find them instantly more interesting now I can tell them apart. Still, not that interesting.
That's it! Noms tomorrow.
So for the first time I'm watching Big Brother in HD because the Sky man came and wiggled my HDMI cable. Now I can see Hazel's boobs, Gina's three foot of foundation and Dan's bog brush hair with crystal clear clarity. My eyes!
I'm so OVER Wolfy's Dr Doolittle act but I'm more over people agreeing with her that a wasp, or spider talked to her. Are you INSANE? Wolfy, sorry to interrupt you behaving like someone who's BARKING MAD. I have a feeling I'm going to get sick of Wolfy pretty quickly, and it's obvious she's going to be in until the end, especially with all this 'doing it for the girls' BS.
I could never say 'no' to someone who was trying to make up with me, I struggle to hold a grudge for more than five minutes. Wolfy is not showing her best side here, and I'm not talking about her looks.
Misery Twin describing the preamble to being on Big Brother as 'aggro'. Well, don't let us keep you, Humpty.
Is Sam singing Linkin Park?
Sallie to Michael: 'you're either an alright actor or a really nasty person.' I think he's both, actually. Even this bickering seems contrived.
HD just seems to make the housemates look a bit grainy! Aw, Sallie's got her sideboob out again. RIP sideboob. I'm still pissy that she's gone. Gina better prove herself to be a decent housemate. I also think it's a testament to Sallie that most of her housemates seemed to genuinely like her and were sorry to see her go. But still, Wolfy, get a grip. You've only known her a week. Wolfy is really on my shitlist right now. I don't think she can really step into Sallie's drama queen shoes. LOL to Gina smirking at Wolfy's pathetic theatrics. I think I'd be smirking, too. Oh, STFU Wolfy.
Interesting to look at the reactions to Michael the mole again. Dan: as expected. Some looked sad. Some looked impressed. Callum, Charlie and the twins were classy about it. I love Gina's awkward comforting of Wolfy! Hilarious. Wolfy, it's not all about you. Say goodbye or something.
Dan's counselling service is great; he'll follow you into the toilet for some wise words whether you like it or not. I'm not sure if that's a cop thing or a gay thing; George Michael's video has confused me.
I really wanted to see Sallie's clothes, and now they give them their suitcases back when she's gone! Oh well, Dexter better have some ridiculous clothes I can laugh at.
Dan: 'I knew this, that and the other.' How did you know all those things, Dan? Was it because a spider told you? Ha, Dan thinks Wolfy's an actor, too. She's going to get upset!
If Sophie and Daley got snatched from their beds tonight, would you even notice? You can't even call them floaters; they're like fucking anchors.
Ha, Jackie and Callum think Dan is a mole too! Mole-anoia. Dexter is my favourite person in the house by a mile, which is the absolute kiss of death for him.
Yes Dan, why did you give up your illustrious career to go in the BB house? He's no Rav Wilding.
What the fuck IS this rap Jackie is singing? Is this a thing? Why isn't Charlie dying of embarrassment? If that was my mum, I'd stand up and physically restrain her. My mum doesn't tend to rap when she has a drink though, she just gets surly.
The only things I've seen Daley do in that house are fart, eat some soup and cry, moan that he wants to go home, and then rub cream on his bum. He's hardly the new Nasty Nick, is he? What sort of strategy is this? What sort of man uses body lotion, anyway? Even I can't be bothered.
Dan's doing some damage control with Jemima; I think his spidey senses are reminding him that nominations are coming up. Jemima's no fool though; she'll see right through him.
Gina's beach ball boobs are really beyond a joke. So, she wants to go anyway!
Bullshit alert: Dexter's mouth is moving. Oh, dear, he's admitting he slept with prostitutes. I thought he WAS a prostitute? This guy can't even get his own story straight. Oh dear, he dropped the 'bird' bomb. Dexter and Daley are both insecure bags of slop (to quote Dan Savage).
Ha, Dan is doing damage control with Dexter, too. Why is Gina jiggling up and down? Ha, oh God, Dexter describing himself as 'deep'. Never a good sign.
Haha, Dexter 'is a little bit metrosexual'. Ah, it all becomes clear! Is that what we're calling bi these days? 'If I was gay I'd go for someone like Dan.' Ha! That's not something straight people even think. OK, I'm beginning to get it now. Dexter is hiding a lot more than just insecurities. Aw, that was too cute when Dan ruffled his hair. That might have just saved Dexter from being nominated by Dan this week, as I think Dan might rather like the idea of someone fancying him in there.
Gina and Wolfy: the most unlikely friends in history. Do you think they'd let Wolfy in the Savoy?
One of the twins looks skinnier than the other now. Must be the Weetabix diet. Ah, it must be the gay one as he knew about theatre (that's me on a formal warning from Big Brother). OK, I find them instantly more interesting now I can tell them apart. Still, not that interesting.
That's it! Noms tomorrow.
Friday, 21 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: That moth told me about that twist
Why, hello! I have moved house. It's been a fucking nightmare and I have one cat hiding behind the sofa, but apart from that we're sitting pretty. Big Brother has been great! I have even changed my mind about someone already (Dan). I like changing my mind about things! I have half changed my mind about wanting Gina to go, too. I like Sallie but she really is one note, yap, yap, yap, mouse, cheese, snake. Gina seems to have a sweet side under the mask. But I'm fairly sure she's going to go. It's a shame to lose either.
I'm thrilled Michael is going tonight; he got found out TIME ago. The people's pillock. The people's prick.
Emma looks SO skinny at the moment! Her shoulders are so narrow. She looks like a little boy in that suit. I hope she's OK.
LOL to the sign saying 'hey doc you couch potato' - amazing! His podcast is getting proper famous - good on him. Listen to the Couch Potatoes radio podcast if you're a BB fan, it's fab.
I like Callum now! He is boring, but I don't mind. I think he's a decent bloke - he would be good to have in your corner. He doesn't just blindly agree with a group, and I think he secretly hates Dan, which is a bonus.Oh, Dan, I really liked you. But you're such a smarm bucket! And that hair is unforgivable. We're though.
£80 a night for the Savoy... this isn't helping Gina. I don't really like Hazel, I find her quite stuck up. Her and Dan are always slagging off Sallie behind her back.
WEETABIX advertising. Some casual product placement here. Weetabix is absolutely disgusting. It tastes like cardboard.
Why has Dan got pedal pushers on? Is he a middle aged man? Aw, Dexter walked in the room and EVERYONE left. Boo.
Why are Gina and Sallie wearing the same outfit? Another shit stirring task! Who's ugliest/ prettiest etc? It's the oldest trick in the Big Brother book. That's hilarious that Michael had to choose Dan as sexiest (the public really voted)! Aw, Wolfy, least attractive. I'd say the mum myself. I'd be proud to be voted 'most annoying'.
Jemima is sooooo Vinnie Jones. She's trying to RULE the kitchen. She will be up soon.
Wolfy has been named ugliest and smelliest. Ha. That's what happens when you've got a dreadlock. Don't worry, Wolfy, it's not what Michael thinks, it's just what the whole of the nation thinks. Michael's going to have to be removed for his own safety at this rate. Never mind, Wolfy, at least you're the most unique, right?
Michael is LAUGHING again about making people cry! What a lovely person! What a great guy! KNOB.
Oh Wolfy, save the speeches for the final. Imagine if Wolfy won and then became super slim like Josie? Would she be doing it for the overweight girls then? The girl we vote to win is never the same girl a year later.
Dan vs Jemima! Ding ding. See how he's hovering over her; threatening! Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly like Jemima but I swear Dan thinks he owns the place. He's going to be insufferable when he finds out he was right about Michael. Him and Sallie are both of the 'say it to your face' ie. 'I can be as rude as I fucking like' school of thought. Sometimes it's better to NOT say things to people's face. Sometimes it's better to just shut your fucking mouth. I tell you the problem with Dan: he can't see his own flaws.
'Who goes - it's up to you'. Not as catchy as 'you decide', is it?
That party looks LAME! I've had better office parties.
Does that Sophie ever speak? You have to work hard to be that dull. LOL to Charlie calling Gina an escort! Hahahaha - foot in it! I don't think she meant it maliciously. I like Charlie, actually.
Dan, put some clothes on FFS. I'm sick of seeing you in you in your pants.
Michael has had the BEST day making a young woman cry. What a hero. I can't wait for him to leave either.
'Your fate is sealed.' Strong words. OMG they did evict Sallie! I'm shocked. I wasn't expecting that. This is rubbish, they should have kicked Michael out first, Sallie would have enjoyed that moment - not fair she got denied that moment. Sallie, I'll miss you peeking over your shoulder coquettishly. I would have preferred Gina to go. But I didn't vote so it's partly my fault. I'm sad she's gone when there's so many boring people in that house. I feel a bit deflated. Did she ever even get her suitcase? Can she have it back now?
Shut up, booing idiotic crowd. LOL to Sallie shouting, 'Shut the fuck up!' at the crowd. 'You've been waiting since four to get in here, get a grip.' Brilliant, about time someone gave it back to that crowd. I would have told them that, too. So obvious that someone like her would go out first, a mouthy woman. No one can take it.
At least Dan will have a chunk out of him, losing his sidekick. I'd love to see him up next week. Sallie going 'shut the fuck up' to Emma Willis. Haha. Some people just talk like that. No offense is intended.
Michael times. Acting! DAN IS GLOATING! Did Wolfy just say 'my mum told me about that twist'? WTF? On reflection after rewinding, she said. 'that moth told me about that twist.' Now that makes a LOT more sense. The Mothman Prophecies! Speechless.
You can stop acting now, Michael. Nervous drink! Wolfy's got Sallie's earrings on. Aw, that was sad that Wolfy never said goodbye to him. I think I would be hurt by him. Even though he's an actor, I'd still feel lied to, especially if I considered him a friend.
Micheal should be getting boos! Set Sallie on him. Stop gnawing Emma's wrist. LOL they're sitting him next to Sallie. Brilliant! 'I don't think it's Hollywood for you, babe, more like Towie.' Line of the season, after the moths.
Michael's body language! I want Sallie to lamp him! Michael's twitching. I love it, Michael wasn't expecting Sallie to be sitting in on his interview. He's an actor - Sallie: 'not a very good one.' This is the funniest eviction interview ever.
Are there more secrets and lies than just Michael FFS? We need more than just this, surely? So what if Dan's a detective, Sallie sussed this prick FIRST! Sallie is a legend. This has sealed her place in the annals of BB history. Michael saying he didn't care about shredding Wolfy's prom dress - cruel!
Sallie: 'Is it vote to evict? Well no wonder I went then.' HA! I love her swearing, it's real. She's a normal person.
Michael: 'Wolfy is a lovely girl.' Sallie: 'She doesn't like you. I don't think she ever will.' Ha! I thought Emma was being a bit stuck up towards Sallie. Sallie is a good character. She's naturally funny and she's a loss as a housemate. Michael: not so much. Best eviction interview(s) ever? I think so. Next week the battle lines will be drawn. I think there could be a few up. Just ask the moth.
I'm thrilled Michael is going tonight; he got found out TIME ago. The people's pillock. The people's prick.
Emma looks SO skinny at the moment! Her shoulders are so narrow. She looks like a little boy in that suit. I hope she's OK.
LOL to the sign saying 'hey doc you couch potato' - amazing! His podcast is getting proper famous - good on him. Listen to the Couch Potatoes radio podcast if you're a BB fan, it's fab.
I like Callum now! He is boring, but I don't mind. I think he's a decent bloke - he would be good to have in your corner. He doesn't just blindly agree with a group, and I think he secretly hates Dan, which is a bonus.Oh, Dan, I really liked you. But you're such a smarm bucket! And that hair is unforgivable. We're though.
£80 a night for the Savoy... this isn't helping Gina. I don't really like Hazel, I find her quite stuck up. Her and Dan are always slagging off Sallie behind her back.
WEETABIX advertising. Some casual product placement here. Weetabix is absolutely disgusting. It tastes like cardboard.
Why has Dan got pedal pushers on? Is he a middle aged man? Aw, Dexter walked in the room and EVERYONE left. Boo.
Why are Gina and Sallie wearing the same outfit? Another shit stirring task! Who's ugliest/ prettiest etc? It's the oldest trick in the Big Brother book. That's hilarious that Michael had to choose Dan as sexiest (the public really voted)! Aw, Wolfy, least attractive. I'd say the mum myself. I'd be proud to be voted 'most annoying'.
Jemima is sooooo Vinnie Jones. She's trying to RULE the kitchen. She will be up soon.
Wolfy has been named ugliest and smelliest. Ha. That's what happens when you've got a dreadlock. Don't worry, Wolfy, it's not what Michael thinks, it's just what the whole of the nation thinks. Michael's going to have to be removed for his own safety at this rate. Never mind, Wolfy, at least you're the most unique, right?
Michael is LAUGHING again about making people cry! What a lovely person! What a great guy! KNOB.
Oh Wolfy, save the speeches for the final. Imagine if Wolfy won and then became super slim like Josie? Would she be doing it for the overweight girls then? The girl we vote to win is never the same girl a year later.
Dan vs Jemima! Ding ding. See how he's hovering over her; threatening! Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly like Jemima but I swear Dan thinks he owns the place. He's going to be insufferable when he finds out he was right about Michael. Him and Sallie are both of the 'say it to your face' ie. 'I can be as rude as I fucking like' school of thought. Sometimes it's better to NOT say things to people's face. Sometimes it's better to just shut your fucking mouth. I tell you the problem with Dan: he can't see his own flaws.
'Who goes - it's up to you'. Not as catchy as 'you decide', is it?
That party looks LAME! I've had better office parties.
Does that Sophie ever speak? You have to work hard to be that dull. LOL to Charlie calling Gina an escort! Hahahaha - foot in it! I don't think she meant it maliciously. I like Charlie, actually.
Dan, put some clothes on FFS. I'm sick of seeing you in you in your pants.
Michael has had the BEST day making a young woman cry. What a hero. I can't wait for him to leave either.
'Your fate is sealed.' Strong words. OMG they did evict Sallie! I'm shocked. I wasn't expecting that. This is rubbish, they should have kicked Michael out first, Sallie would have enjoyed that moment - not fair she got denied that moment. Sallie, I'll miss you peeking over your shoulder coquettishly. I would have preferred Gina to go. But I didn't vote so it's partly my fault. I'm sad she's gone when there's so many boring people in that house. I feel a bit deflated. Did she ever even get her suitcase? Can she have it back now?
Shut up, booing idiotic crowd. LOL to Sallie shouting, 'Shut the fuck up!' at the crowd. 'You've been waiting since four to get in here, get a grip.' Brilliant, about time someone gave it back to that crowd. I would have told them that, too. So obvious that someone like her would go out first, a mouthy woman. No one can take it.
At least Dan will have a chunk out of him, losing his sidekick. I'd love to see him up next week. Sallie going 'shut the fuck up' to Emma Willis. Haha. Some people just talk like that. No offense is intended.
Michael times. Acting! DAN IS GLOATING! Did Wolfy just say 'my mum told me about that twist'? WTF? On reflection after rewinding, she said. 'that moth told me about that twist.' Now that makes a LOT more sense. The Mothman Prophecies! Speechless.
You can stop acting now, Michael. Nervous drink! Wolfy's got Sallie's earrings on. Aw, that was sad that Wolfy never said goodbye to him. I think I would be hurt by him. Even though he's an actor, I'd still feel lied to, especially if I considered him a friend.
Micheal should be getting boos! Set Sallie on him. Stop gnawing Emma's wrist. LOL they're sitting him next to Sallie. Brilliant! 'I don't think it's Hollywood for you, babe, more like Towie.' Line of the season, after the moths.
Michael's body language! I want Sallie to lamp him! Michael's twitching. I love it, Michael wasn't expecting Sallie to be sitting in on his interview. He's an actor - Sallie: 'not a very good one.' This is the funniest eviction interview ever.
Are there more secrets and lies than just Michael FFS? We need more than just this, surely? So what if Dan's a detective, Sallie sussed this prick FIRST! Sallie is a legend. This has sealed her place in the annals of BB history. Michael saying he didn't care about shredding Wolfy's prom dress - cruel!
Sallie: 'Is it vote to evict? Well no wonder I went then.' HA! I love her swearing, it's real. She's a normal person.
Michael: 'Wolfy is a lovely girl.' Sallie: 'She doesn't like you. I don't think she ever will.' Ha! I thought Emma was being a bit stuck up towards Sallie. Sallie is a good character. She's naturally funny and she's a loss as a housemate. Michael: not so much. Best eviction interview(s) ever? I think so. Next week the battle lines will be drawn. I think there could be a few up. Just ask the moth.
Monday, 17 June 2013
Big Brother 2013: I'd rather starve than eat your cooking
Hey! Oh the live feed Dexter was wearing a pork pie hat and describing himself as a 'PUA' (pick up artist). I think at least a few of them got their clothes back. Phew. I really thought they'd been shredded. Not. (Yes, i said not.)
Power animals. Talking to the birds. Shut up. I've warmed to Wolfy a bit though. She's nowhere NEAR as bad as Becky. I don't like Sophie. She's too much like Josie and she's not a strong enough character. I'll be open-minded, but at the moment I'm blah on her.
I thought Gina had turned over a new leaf when I saw her proudly washing up glasses, until I realised it was one glass, for herself. You go, girl! This girl is a piece of work. I honestly can't stand her. Another person I can't stand: Michael. Smug, remote, not real. I hate his ears as well. I hate his looks to camera. You're not Harry Hill. You're not even Alex Sibley.
I like Dan! He really reminds me of someone but I don't know who. He's sharp as well, you can tell he's a detective, because he's well onto Michael. I think he could easily win it. People should listen to Dan. He's not a detective for nothing.
Oh, I thought they were showing the nominations earlier, but it's just Michael slagging the others off. The housemates aren't stupid: actually. In fact, I actually like the housemates this year. I like watching them!
As if Michael would sit in the DR and slag EVERYONE off. It's bullshit. No one would do that, like go through every person in the house (well, except Topaz in BB Canada). Also, Michael can't act. 'An Oscar winning actor'. Please!
I think the Gina/ Jemima argument was a bit stupid; Jemima was just stating her preference. She wasn't being racist, in my opinion. Insensitive, maybe. I actually kind of like Jemima. I do think Gina was shit-stirring a bit. I think she saw an opportunity and took it. 'I feel like I've just experienced racism.' What has Jemima saying that got to do with you?
'You probably wouldn't go for a white guy' is a stupid thing for Jemima to say, though. Gina is SPOILING for a fight. I'd be furious if someone called me a racist.
Gina, if you're fighting with everyone, the problem is you, not everyone else. 'I'd rather starve than eat your cooking, it looks rubbish' was quite a funny line, though.
Everyone's faces when the two of them were going at it was funny. Fence sitters, look in the other direction!
Gina: 'is that a threat?' She's the sort of person who winds someone up and just watches them go.
Are they SERIOUSLY giving Jemima a warning for STATING HER SEXUAL PREFERENCE? You gotta be kidding me. 'Big Brother does not tolerate your opinion about who you want to sleep with. Sleep with EVERYONE. Be all inclusive.' Honestly. That is SOME JOKE. Conor is sitting somewhere, epilating his legs and cackling.
Uh oh, the mum can't keep a secret! PUNISH HER.
Live nominations time! ACTING! Why is three nominations, not two? Three is better, though.
Michael has nommed Gina, Dexter and Sallie, predictably. The three biggest characters in the house. LOL to Sallie calling him a dickhead.
Did Michael just tell Sallie to fuck off? Ha. Oh God, he's trying to squeeze a tear out, but he can't do it, just like Obama after Sandy Hook. Just dab your eyes a bit, it worked for him.
I really don't want Dexter and Sallie to go! I'd LOVE to see the back of the odious Gina. I knew the public couldn't be trusted with that decision. The public cannot be trusted with any vote!
Sallie is not helping herself by kicking off. Oh they actually mentioned the live feed at the end! Well done idiots! People might actually watch it now! No one even knows it's fucking on.
A word to the sponsors: I want the chairs that are in the BB house! I looked on Very and you can buy all the cushions and all this other shit, but not the couches! Boo. I think it's cos they're designer and not from Very.
Ooh, btw, I will be blogging and podcasting tomorrow (I hope!) but it will be late as we're going to the cinema! I know, cultured! We aint going to see Superman or any of that shit either! I'm going to lament over Ethan Hawke's gradually crumbling looks and imaginary romance with Julie Delpy. Sw.
Power animals. Talking to the birds. Shut up. I've warmed to Wolfy a bit though. She's nowhere NEAR as bad as Becky. I don't like Sophie. She's too much like Josie and she's not a strong enough character. I'll be open-minded, but at the moment I'm blah on her.
I thought Gina had turned over a new leaf when I saw her proudly washing up glasses, until I realised it was one glass, for herself. You go, girl! This girl is a piece of work. I honestly can't stand her. Another person I can't stand: Michael. Smug, remote, not real. I hate his ears as well. I hate his looks to camera. You're not Harry Hill. You're not even Alex Sibley.
I like Dan! He really reminds me of someone but I don't know who. He's sharp as well, you can tell he's a detective, because he's well onto Michael. I think he could easily win it. People should listen to Dan. He's not a detective for nothing.
Oh, I thought they were showing the nominations earlier, but it's just Michael slagging the others off. The housemates aren't stupid: actually. In fact, I actually like the housemates this year. I like watching them!
As if Michael would sit in the DR and slag EVERYONE off. It's bullshit. No one would do that, like go through every person in the house (well, except Topaz in BB Canada). Also, Michael can't act. 'An Oscar winning actor'. Please!
I think the Gina/ Jemima argument was a bit stupid; Jemima was just stating her preference. She wasn't being racist, in my opinion. Insensitive, maybe. I actually kind of like Jemima. I do think Gina was shit-stirring a bit. I think she saw an opportunity and took it. 'I feel like I've just experienced racism.' What has Jemima saying that got to do with you?
'You probably wouldn't go for a white guy' is a stupid thing for Jemima to say, though. Gina is SPOILING for a fight. I'd be furious if someone called me a racist.
Gina, if you're fighting with everyone, the problem is you, not everyone else. 'I'd rather starve than eat your cooking, it looks rubbish' was quite a funny line, though.
Everyone's faces when the two of them were going at it was funny. Fence sitters, look in the other direction!
Gina: 'is that a threat?' She's the sort of person who winds someone up and just watches them go.
Are they SERIOUSLY giving Jemima a warning for STATING HER SEXUAL PREFERENCE? You gotta be kidding me. 'Big Brother does not tolerate your opinion about who you want to sleep with. Sleep with EVERYONE. Be all inclusive.' Honestly. That is SOME JOKE. Conor is sitting somewhere, epilating his legs and cackling.
Uh oh, the mum can't keep a secret! PUNISH HER.
Live nominations time! ACTING! Why is three nominations, not two? Three is better, though.
Michael has nommed Gina, Dexter and Sallie, predictably. The three biggest characters in the house. LOL to Sallie calling him a dickhead.
Did Michael just tell Sallie to fuck off? Ha. Oh God, he's trying to squeeze a tear out, but he can't do it, just like Obama after Sandy Hook. Just dab your eyes a bit, it worked for him.
I really don't want Dexter and Sallie to go! I'd LOVE to see the back of the odious Gina. I knew the public couldn't be trusted with that decision. The public cannot be trusted with any vote!
Sallie is not helping herself by kicking off. Oh they actually mentioned the live feed at the end! Well done idiots! People might actually watch it now! No one even knows it's fucking on.
A word to the sponsors: I want the chairs that are in the BB house! I looked on Very and you can buy all the cushions and all this other shit, but not the couches! Boo. I think it's cos they're designer and not from Very.
Ooh, btw, I will be blogging and podcasting tomorrow (I hope!) but it will be late as we're going to the cinema! I know, cultured! We aint going to see Superman or any of that shit either! I'm going to lament over Ethan Hawke's gradually crumbling looks and imaginary romance with Julie Delpy. Sw.
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