Sunday, 24 June 2012

Big Brother 13: Chair lifted

If you didn't watch BOTS last night, you missed Luke wiping up his spunk off Ashleigh with what appeared to be his dirty underpants. Delightful! Helen and Paul were too coy to even kiss in there. How ten years changes the landscape.
Chairs gone? At least they'll have a good area of space to dance for Ashleigh's birthday.
Ashleigh: hates Benedict, loves sex on TV. Surely this is what Benedict was advocating! She's got more in common than they think. Except Benedict gets paid. Don't think I'm letting the disgusting Luke off the hook; the way he's using Ashleigh basically as a cum rag is vile. She'll be thrown away as fast, as well.
The ugly (inside) sisters are conspiring. I knew Ashleigh would be gloating about it today. It's horrible when you overhear people having sex. You shouldn't put people through that. Oh it's OK, Ashleigh, you've got the seal of approval from the vacant hags to your face. Just wait and see what they say about you behind your back. 'I could see us having a relationship' says Ashleigh of the throw(up)mance.
There's nothing happening in this episode, is there?
If Shev and Conor are really Ashleigh's BEST FRIENDS I feel sorry for her. Oh, she's only 21. You can forgive her her idiocy a bit. A bit.
I'm finding it really hard to write this blog, you know. I have no enthusiasm for any of these people or anything they do. I need someone to champion; to love. I had to fast forward the bit with Conor and Shev in the DR because they both make me feel physically sick. Honestly, I'd rather watch the football than this shit at the moment, and I HATE FOOTBALL.
Where's Lauren? As predicted, we've not seen ONE FRAME of her tonight. What a fucking pointless waste of time keeping her in. This house needs new blood: badly. And saying that in week 3 is quite worrying.
Ashleigh's dirty blonde hair wasn't nice and her dirty brown hair isn't nice. She looks plain. Lydia's deflated. Luke A's deflated. Adam's nothingy. I feel like Lydia does.
Nominations tell-off again. Lydia's getting MAD. I know how she feels.
I HATE the way Shev talks to people, she's an absolute disgrace. Having a go at people for the 'tone': look at the way she fucking talks to people! She talks to people like they're a piece of crap. She thinks she's always right. At least Lydia is entertaining; Shev is just a mouth, but nothing of interest ever comes out of it.
Lydia having to kowtow to Conor makes me sick. She's worth about 100 of him. He looks like Frankenstein's monster and he's less intelligent.
Shev's got good legs, I'll give her that much. Lauren looks good, too. Good looks don't really make for great entertainment, though, do they?
This is how pissed off I am with BB. I started watching BB late and I honestly just switched it off to watch the PENALTIES in the football. But don't worry; I haven't lost my mind; I haven't watched any other bit of it and I'm rooting for Italy so I don't have to watch loads of football in Ibiza on my holiday which starts tomorrow, ha. I really want to see misogynistic thickos Wayne Rooney or Ashley Cole fuck it up and become national hate figures for something insignificant as opposed to their constant reprehensible behaviour which is apparently a-OK. Which women-hating tosser is up first? Let's see: oh, I don't mind Stephen Gerrard, he actually seems like one of the 'OK' ones, but I thought that about Peter Crouch once. Miss, Rooney, you pug-faced little prick. Oh noes. I don't know who Ashley Young is, but he missed. Our goalie looks about 12. Where's David Seaman? That's the last time I was forced to watch football: about 15 years ago.
YES! Ashley Cole missed. Haha! That's what you get for being a money-loving, women-hating DICK and I can't even STAND Cheryl Cole. Still, she must be thrilled. Commentator: 'the courage of these boys to step up and take a penalty'. Yes, what courage. They get paid £100,000 a week. Don't make me laugh. These idiots are really worth all that cash, aren't they? The sight of John Terry's miserable face is enough to lift even the hardest heart (ie. mine). At least I'm not going to have to see the England flag everywhere in Spain now. Hope they show some Wimbledon instead.
Just turned BB back on and they're shrieking and singing out of tune to Justin Beiber. They don't know how to edit this show anymore, do they? They edit arguments down to a minute, and stuff it with more filler than a Iceland chicken.
I think Ashleigh's going to pull the plug on the Egyptian party. Oh Shev, stop trying to be a saint. We've all seen what you're really like. Why are only Shev and Lauren at her party? Oh Luke A is there, too. Zzzzzzzz.
Mmm, that cake looks nice.
I wish Ashleigh had opened that card and it had a message from her family in saying 'we've disowned you because of your behaviour on TV.' Shev: 'I was raving at 4.' God, she talks some crap.
Oh Ashleigh; is that really your idea of a 'gentleman'? Dear oh dear.
I'm honestly not sure if I'm going to carry on watching, and I've not felt like this in 13 years of Big Brother. I just can't cope with the injustice of Benedict not being there and ten or more others who don't deserve to be there. I'm going away for five days so I won't be blogging until the weekend. I should be looking forward to the BB marathon when I get back, but I'm not: it feels like drudgery. I do this for a laugh and it's not a laugh right now. Can they turn it around? Can you save Lydia, as it's obvious she'll be up? But I don't think all of Justin Beiber's Twitter followers combined could save her, let alone ASL's.
See you next weekend! With sunburn, and possibly alcohol poisoning. Adios... for now!

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