Sunday 17 June 2012

Big Brother 13: Hip hop hula hoops

Last night Scott consumed much more than he can hold. He looks bleary eyed.
You never usually see Benedict in the Diary Room, do you? Not enough of Benedict, full stop. Uh oh, is Scott plotting against Benedict? Nooooo.
Caroline's dad said an orgy was 'a special cuddle.' Did he say that thing digging into her when she sat on his lap was his pet snake, too?
Scott finds Benedict condescending. That's a bit like him saying he finds Caroline a bit too posh. I like people who go on as if they know everything. Those are the best sort of people. 'Who wants to not be liked?' asks Lydia. Answer: Morrissey.
The way Sara's group constantly say, 'I do like Lauren' suggests otherwise. The are like the mean girls and we all know what happened to the Heathers.
Deana and Conor were quite going for it in the dance-off. Lydia is in her element being judge, but BB are just giving her that role to make her more hated. The faces whilst the dances are going on are the best.
Shev proving not all black people can dance. I think Lydia is just voting for people she wants to come to her party. Benedict is doing some dirty dancing! Lydia is just voting for all the girls! Ashleigh: a rat in wet-look leggings. Adam was pissed off he didn't get through, I think.
Pow pow pow! Alexandria got throw out for that, didn't she? Careful with your gun mimes in that house, people. The odd pellet gun is fine, but you start busting out some Uzi-moves and you'll be out on your ear. My boyfriend said Caroline reminds her of Emily who said the n word and got booted; I personally think Caroline is more loathesome. At least Emily claimed to have discovered indie music. What has Caroline ever done? My boyfriend also said that Luke S is going to float through to the end and he's quite right. But I don't see him winning it. Shev will also float quite a way, I think.
I hope whoever voted Becky into that house is pleased with themselves. She's just useless and looking to target people I like in there.
Conor: 'Arron has my sense of humour.' Yes. Yes, he does.
Benedict needs to watch himself, I think. He could be up for nomination is he's not careful. Is there enough of these people saying they're going to vote for Benedict and Deana to make it count? I tend to think of that group as weaker, but it only takes a couple of defectors and the whole house can turn on a dime (BBUSA speak™).
Nominating someone for ejaculating in the shower is so stupid. The whole point of the shower is that stuff gets washed away. Besides, didn't we go through all that about a decade ago with Alex Sibley?
What are hip hop snacks? Eminems? *deadpan*
Apparently you are allowed to say, 'n*****' in the Big Brother house as long as you're singing along to Kanye West. Pop racism is just FINE.
Haves cannot stand us have-nots. Caroline keeps giving clunking, pointless anecdotes about her childhood that no one's interested in. Caroline is not used to getting what she wants; she's like Veruca Salt having a meltdown. Caroline likes to 'get crunk'. What does that mean? It sounds like a type of drug. I wish she'd fuck off. 'I've not spoke to Luke A in two weeks.' Is it because he's not shallow enough for you? Too many layers?
They are hiding Deana's epilator. Bullies etc. I don't even know what an epilator is. But I do know that a razor will do. Who's choccy is Arron eating? Becky, I'm not sure those stripes are doing you any favours.
God, not another slag off session about Lauren. Why does everyone hate her so much? She's neither here nor there. She does seem like a little bit of an 'easy target'. Ashleigh slagging off Lauren seems a bit like HER insecurity to me. Something about Lauren threatens her. I think it's her looks.
Stop talking with your toothbrushes in your mouth, Scaroline. What a vile pair. Oh well, at least I can't be accused of favouring the poshos this year.
Lydia trying to get Benedict into line! Love it. He's just an exhibitionist, basically. Let's face it; they're all trying to find themselves. It's just some of them are looking in the wrong place (fortune cookie blog ending).

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