Tuesday 19 June 2012

Big Brother 13: I fucking hate my best mates

Well, I know who's up now and I'm not happy. Obviously I want Lauren to go, but will she? I looked on Digital Spy and there seems to be no support for Benedict. I thought he'd be like a divisive Aaron-from-last-year character, but people either think he's pompous or are annoyed about masturbate-gate. I couldn't really give two fucks about that. I just want someone with half a brain to stay in the house. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, what does Lauren actually offer the house? She cries, she gets bullied (a bit), she cries. She looks rough, then she looks gorgeous. That's about it.
'Who will nominate whom?' Is that grammatically correct?
I feel a bit sorry for drippy Deana, but why wasn't she put up? Why wasn't Becky, Arron, Caroline?
Arron is getting on my LAST NERVE. He's just a penis in sweatwear. I wonder why Deana never smiles or laughs, living in that funbox?
Caroline's leg placement in the DR makes her look like she's got a little pot belly. 'Violated'? Be careful what words you're throwing round there, Jemima, because that's a strong one. Was she just wishing death on Lauren or silence? Just lock Caroline in the Diary Room with a couple of disposable barbeques, do the human race a favour.
LOL to Arron saying Benedict was 10 on the boring scale. The trouble with Benedict is he's too 'teachery' and it gets on people's wick. I thought Arron dealt with it quite well, to an extent.
I LOVE it when Lydia rears up. She's giving it 'nonononononono'. Thanks for giving Arron a chance, Lydia! Enjoying that breakfast, Lydia? Lydia: 'if that's the way you want to play it..' Threats! Charlie Big Potato talk.
Lydia's been around the world and she, she, she has seen more than you, little boy! Oh, I wondered how long it would be before ages were brought into it. 'I'm 23!' Fucking hell man, you're hardly Patrick Moore. Her cage looked duly rattled to me, especially when she had a little cry afterwards.  Do not show weakness, Lydia-bot. Stay strong.
Is it your sister's funeral today, Scott? Enjoying your time in the house? Little git.
Why is DEANA nominating Lauren?! She's in your alliance, you fucking thicko. WEAK gameplay. They are taking themselves out. Idiocy!
Adam, Conor and Shev are the ULTIMATE floaters. They'll be there on final night, mark my words.
If Lauren stays over Benedict it will be such a travesty. She brings nothing to the house. Her nominations were stupid. Go for the big guns, not idiots like Sara, she's nothing! She's not worth a vote.
Ashleigh: 'Benedict talks a lot of shit.' Not as much as you, Splinter. Becky: are you still there? Stop being so bubbly. Her bullshit reasons for nominating Lauren. She might as well have just been honest and gone, 'I've been told to.'
Lauren's got her childhood teddy with her. If that's not enough reason to evict her, then what is?
Luke S's nominations were quite pointless too, his game is all over the place. Do SOMETHING. The trouble with him is he played his cards WAY too early. He was over before he even began. He could still be stringing it out for another month.
Luke vs Luke. Luke on Deana, 'you have to ask her a question and then tell her the answer.' Patronising much? Shev is also nominating her own side, too. Zzz.
Lauren's having a loo cry. Scott either didn't notice or didn't want to notice. Why DO they all hate Lauren so much? Maybe there is some real reason that they're just not showing? How come EVERYONE'S got it in for her? I feel like I'm missing a vital piece of the puzzle. Either that or she's a professional victim. But I feel like it's just bad editing.
Conor: 'whenever the camera's on..' The camera's always on, you chimp. A couple of people are onto Lydia, now. I really wish Deana had been up.
Adam's nominations were good; perhaps he should have twisted some arms to get people to nominate the same way as him?
How can people want to live there with Caroline, Scott, Arron, Sara, Becky etc over Lauren and Benedict? Am I on a different planet? as Jeremy Kyle opines.
Arron: 'I fucking hate my best mates. I'm going to go through life not knowing too much about myself.' What a strange thing to admit, especially to Luke who has obviously fought so hard to realise himself. Arron, pick a personality, for God's sake. Stop being a pranker.
Lauren's got some impressive eyebrows going on. The smaller group are now ripe for the picking. They are going to get destroyed each week, just as happens on BBUSA. Except on BBUSA at least they get a chance to get themselves 'off the block'.  Luke is seething! He's right to. They should have organised their votes better!
Sara is so FAKE! She's such a drama queen. I wish she'd just get hold of herself. Conor is shit stirring! I hate this alliance of Becky, Conor, Luke S, Scott, Sara, Caroline and Ashleigh. I can't stand any of them. What's going on with Luke's hair? He's got a proper bouffant.
ASL will be supporting Benedict! Well that's one vote. Assuming he's got the 33p to call in.
Benedict is doing one of his gurny sermons in the DR. There's always one trying to educate them in there. It never works.
Lydia is doing some strategy talk. She's doing some mega eye rolls. NOW she's strategising. It's too fucking late! There's a hole in your alliance bigger than the Titanic. It's a numbers game, and you're fucked.
Shev is 'devastated' that Lauren is up. If you hadn't VOTED AGAINST YOUR OWN ALLIANCE she wouldn't be. God, I feel like shaking these people. And so does Lydia. She's twitching BAD. It's going to take some brains to turn this one around. Luckily, she's the girl for the job.

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