The show started off slow tonight but then built up to a great climax... ahem. Apologies in advance, there's more jokes like that to come.
So Stephanie wins a facial and massage with the water being off but says no... then yes. So she's selfish, but not as selfish as GC, who didn't think twice.
So Gemma is worried she's 35 and people will think she's weird cos she;s not got kids. No they think you're weird because you're horrible. They understand why you've not got kids because no one in their right mind would sleep with you. I'm 35 and I'd rather die than have kids. John is right, if you really want kids, you go and do it. People who wait for their eggs to dry up need to get on it at our age, and not leave it too late, if that's what they want.
GC s doing reiki on Dal: 'You've got to picture a toilet going out of your colon.' Say what? 'Send love to your colon and imagine poo going down'. Er, or just use the loo like a normal person. The Darren goes for a shit and Gemma walks in on him. CONVENIENT. Big Brother is obsessed with scat.
Scotty T and Christopher moralising about Steremy. Ugh. Mind your own business. Jeremy: 'I can't help the way I feel about her.' Just leave the man alone. I never realised men like him actually talked about women in a nice way. I thought they were more like Scotty T: animals.
Jeremy kissing Stephanie's neck in bed, while Scotty looks down his nose like Norris off Corrie. Stephanie has got a strong eyebrow game. Not so good at managing her personal space.
Tiffany is waiting for someone to cross her so she can start a fight. 'I came here to fight cos that's what I like doing.' I hear you. 'No one is giving me beef.' Imagine Christopher or Darren in the DR saying this stuff.
Steph is worried Sam's not going to be there when she gets out. Steph, come on, now. 'Everything was perfect before this.' Well you're the one who fucked it up. Take some responsibility. The 'house' didn't do it.
I like the fact they're making them do a task which involves some level of skill, even though it's a puking task. They have to drink gross things and guess the ingredients.
I thought it was rigged cos Americans don't eat spam but then I got told on Twitter they invented it or something. Whatever, it's gross.
What's the point in holding your nose when you drink it cos then you can't taste the ingredients?
Tiffany is not happy. I couldn't drink that either.
So Darren is the last person immune. I'd say that's curtains for Danniella or Maloney on Tues. Or could Scotty T go? I always hear he could win it, but why? What's he actually done of any interest?
Ha, so the immune housemates get to uninvite people from the party. Gemma uninvited Chris, Steph did Tiffany and Darren uninvited Danniella. The alienation of Tiffany continues unabated. At least Gemma is trying to include her.
At least they gave the housemates they excluded from the party a drink, and a good job too, or the rest of the episode would have been a wrap. Tiffany is drinking a bottle of prosecco to herself, so she's going to get shitfaced. I've been there.
Danniella, 'Tiffany should just gatecrash the party.' A good plan (especially with Big Brother's complete lack of discipline) but Tiffany has come up with a better one, and is busy frigging herself off drunk in the toilet. Fair play! That will chill her out a bit. Good on her, she is so unapologetically her. I love it. I liked her face when walked out of the loo. I thought I hadn't seen a female housemate masturbate since Sam in the box, but someone reminded me about Kinga. I can't remember who came first now. Boom boom! (sorry)
Female masturbation is something so ignored that it's great to see it even MENTIONED now and again, let alone carried out, if only by implication.
Sexual antics warning coming up, AFTER Tiffany has wanked off. Ha. I suppose that was behind a toilet door.
What the fuck are John and GC doing in the loo? Ho come GC is being bearable tonight? It's awful! I live to hate her. I love the fact she's had no airtime though. She was becoming unwatchable.
I'm glad the boys are including Tiffany now. Those masks give the whole show a bit of an orgy vibe.
Truth or dare! Now Tiffany is finally enjoying herself! A bottle of prosecco, a wank and two snogs (well, four). That's a decent night by anyone's standards. And good for Jeremy - a great mindgame to play on Steph. Let's see how she likes the tables being turned.
Tiffany thinks Scotty would be great at 'eating pussy.' She said 'Jez is a cheeseburger but Scotty's the Big Mac.' Zing! Nice to see them let their hair (and their pants) down.
OMG! Tiffany asked Darren Day if he'd fantasised about cheating on his wife. She's kicking it up a notch! He paused for WAY too long, then said he 'swore on his kids lives he hadn't.' You're allowed to fantasise, Darren. So you're telling me he doesn't look at porn? He's trying too hard to be squeaky clean. I'm not buying it. I prefer Tiffany just being like 'RARRGHHHHH!'
I'm not sure why John is saying 'pull my nightie down when you've finished' or even who to, but it's freaking me out.
I love Scotty T motorboating and snogging Tiffany. Megan who? She must be SEETHING.
Jeremy and Scotty crawling round at Tiffany's feet and her giggling. This is more like it! The mantub could become the gangbang tub!
Tiffany and Scotty in the shower was gold. Tiffany would definitely fuck him. Dear God, her looking at Scotty's dick in the shower, did she grab it, too?! 'It's BIG! That shit would blow my back out. I want to bite it.' OMG! I am speechless. I think Megan's TV just went over.
Uh oh, Jeremy confessing to Stephanie he kissed Tiffany. This is not gonna go well. Fuck this Jeremy and Steph shit, let's see Tiffany and Scotty, at least they're enjoying themselves.
Stephanie: 'I'm nothing to you anyway, we're just pals, you can do what you like.' OK then. Why have you got a face like a slapped arse then? Jeremy is playing her a good 'un.
Jeremy: 'You're allowed to play me like a fool when you've got a boyfriend and I'm not allowed to have a game with the lads.'
Steph: 'I've put so much on the line for you then the one time I'm ill you neck off with someone else.' What is this 'necking off'? She sounds like Austin from #bb17. So is she admitting she's dumped her boyfriend? No, she's STILL hedging her bets!
Jeremy is drunk and getting a bit bolshy. He's annoyed that she wants to marry her boyfriend. He's right though, it is one rule for her and another for him. I think he's right to try and force her hand. Which brings us back to Tiffany... hopefully the winner of CBB 2016. Fingers crossed Danniella will go tomorrow, if not, I'll happily say goodbye to Chris or even Scotty. Hopefully they won't spring any twist crap on us. And aren't more people going in? This could be interesting/shit. Watch this space.
Showing posts with label jeremy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jeremy. Show all posts
Monday, 25 January 2016
Sunday, 24 January 2016
Celebrity Big Brother 2016: Big Brother, plz grow some balls
Shit, since I last wrote a blog THREE people have left! It's been a quieter week this week, and still we've lost three. As Emma said, it's lucky they put 16 in. CONVENIENT, you might say if you suspected certain people were on a contract.
So it's a sad goodbye to David Gest (RIP), a fuck you to Angie Bowie (in the paper today saying Bowie strangled her; thought she didn't want to talk to the press?) Apparently she gave up £200,000 to walk. She wasn't worth £200.
I was very pleased to see the housemate evicted was rat-on-the-beach Megan. God, can someone sort out her style, the Princess Anne hair and the Dallas make-up makes her look in her fifties. I was chuffed to see her go instead of a decent housemate like Tiffany or John. I was surprised to see so many people boohooing on Twitter about Megan leaving. She had no redeeming features, thick as fuck, psychotic and a borderline racist. Excuse me if I don't cry my eyes out. Oh, she did have one redeeming feature, I take it back. Her arse cheeks. Or is that two? Either way, see ya.
It's obvious GC was going to stay on eviction night because the idiot general public (t.m. Helen Wood) AND the producers seem to love her despite the fact she is literally blowing up their game by refusing to play it. So then they give her immunity. You can say she picked where to stand but one of the task team could pushed a gold OR white mask up, cos let's face it, the handles they were turning weren't operating the boxes. Jeremy pulled his off (oo-er) and it still popped up. That sentence didn't get any better, did it?
So I suppose the 'top story' apart from GC vs John is Stephanie and Jeremy. I admire Stephanie just because she's the only one standing up to Gemma. Christopher and Darren finally appeared to say a couple of negative things about Gemma, AFTER they heard her get booed. Steph's thrush battle yesterday was revolting in more ways than one. But what was more gross than pigeon shit knickers, or creaming your knickers over Jeremy and admitting it, or knickers being left on the table, or the gang up eyes (redux) is people on Twitter calling Steph a slag. And it's not just the people using that word, it's the whole tone of the self-appointed morality police. They're worse than Scotty T. Who does it actually affect that Steph is 'cheating' (if you can call it that) on her boyfriend on TV? Her boyfriend. How awful for him, etc. But is it affecting your life? No, you're being given content for a TV show you watch. You might not want to watch that; I don't particularly, either, I think it's played out. She's not going to dump her boyfriend and commit to Jeremy, she's keeping her options open and I DON'T BLAME HER. Jeremy could just as easily fuck off back to Ireland. She's got Big Brother Brain and Jeremy is her Big Brother Boyfriend. Her OWN boyfriend has surely dumped her by now. But I don't think Steph can see outside the situation like we can. I think she probably thinks she can patch it up. Maybe she can. And if she can, or she can't, what's it got to do with us? Of course we can comment on the show, and what she's doing and blah blah blah, that's what Twitter and blogs and pods are for. But take a look at yourself, and ask yourself, have you ever done anything wrong in your life? The fact is, the Twitter handwringers are just like GC when she saw Jeremy and Steph under the covers; pleased as fucking punch to have something to be outraged about. So do us all a favour, and get off your high horse (if you're on one). Otherwise, you're no better than John Partridge, ha.
Anyway, in other news I heard GC cut her finger and has been 'rushed to hospital'. Don't rush back. Is it wrong to hope she gets gangrene? She'll probably come back with the Sunday papers and a new wardrobe.
Tiffany has been doing SO WELL lately. Her bathroom convo with John on the live feed over knickergate was one of the weirdest and most compelling things I've seen. Two true gamers in action, hamming it up. Fuck, yes. I think John is great and he must stay to the end. He's so dramatic and totally fake, therefore a great housemate.
So who's writing the warning, cos we've had Highly Offensive, HIGHLY OFFENSIVE and now HIGHLY Offensive language. But which is worse?
Er, why the fuck is Gemma getting a blowdry? Typical selfish bitch move by her there. Why doesn't she just fuck off home if she wants a blowdry? I actually think I hate her more than any other person on Big Brother ever. Is that even possible? The levels of bile runneth over! I spend the entire episode FURIOUS. Can't be healthy. No wonder Chris and Darren are nervous wrecks.
Bossing the hairdresser around, argh! Hold on, is that the stripper from the other night? I note that was cut from the highlights, and not surprised as I thought it was borderline sexual assault. Plus who wants a stripper with a beard? This beard thing must end soon. It's already been going on ten years too long. BEARDS ARE DISGUSTING. SHAVE THEM OFF.
So it's not 'a proper Essex blowdry'. What does that entail, glittery hairspray and a magazine deal at the end of it? Yes, she's still fucking moaning. GC is getting the full Frankie Grande edit from the producers now. They must despise her because she's making them look a fool. She has no respect for Big Brother, won't do tasks, comes and goes as she pleases. Just get a fucking turnstile in and be done with it.
Stephanie informing Jeremy about her required after sex etiquette while holding his hand. Can we just call her relationship done and let them get on with it? Then I can actually enjoy the romance instead of it being a bit grubby. It makes me cringe when I see them together, not because I care, but because I know I'm going to have to unfollow another 20 people on Twitter calling her a slag. And they were people whose opinions I respected, people I liked. And that hurts my feelings.
So here it is, Gemma tried to peel a potato with the sort of knife that should probably be banned in Big Brother and cut her finger 'through to the bone'. Darren: 'That's quite a bit of claret.' Is that you, Danny Dyer? Bleed, bitch, bleed!
Dt Ottoman was in no rush. Let's hope she treats him better than she does her hairdresser. GC has gone to the hospital to get stitches. Imagine how relieved they must all feel. I wonder if we'll ever get to evict her and feel the same way?
I just missed the rules to the task but I guess I'll figure it out. Oh it's like 15 to 1. You answer a question and then knock someone out (not like that, although...). Scotty T thinks Darren might win the whole show. Danniella made Chris lose a life 'cos he's her friend'. Er...?
Tragic that Christopher didn't dare say Gemma was the drama queen of the house. What a fucking wet weekend. He nom-vommed her face to face! He'd been growing on me, too. I hate the words 'man up' but MAN UP has never been more apt in this case.
Scotty T targeting Steph again. With friends like him, who needs enemies? And still he'll win it.
GC threatening Danniella: 'Play it properly then.' Scary. She's like a one-woman mafia.
Gemma's face when Stephanie was being honest about what a cunt she is. Danniella sticking her oar in. What a bitch.
Danniella: 'I want a gift from my kids.' Who said it was that anyway? She's demented. I know she's having a bad day, but Jesus. I read on Twitter the prize was a facial. You can't just make up what prize you want. If you want to see a picture of your kids, go home. I hope your letter from home gets shredded, too.
So Danniella was cool to lose a life when it was Scotty, but not when it was Steph. 'And so you know it.' Gemma's face said she got whatever she wanted. Danniella stormed out the room.
GC (shouting): 'Stop it cos you're a very nasty girl!' Steph hadn't actually said a word. Then Gemma goes, 'She's mugging you off left right and centre' to Jeremy. Then she screams in the kitchen 'She don't let up!' Who? YOU! Steph was just playing the game, participating in the task, an alien concept to you, I know. Disappointed to see Tiffany go with them. She had a duff edit tonight.
Danniella: 'The bird's a fucking bully.' How has Steph bullied anyone? She's the one BEING BULLIED. And I don't use that word lightly, although I generally don't give a shit about that word (unlike slag). Which brings us to:
'You're a fucking slag, love!' Danniella screams, while out of earshot. Really brave. Well you're a washed-up dog. Then they bash out the fire exit and Gemma goes 'they either remove her or we're going.' Um... do you want an Uber or just get the bus?
I love the fact the task just went on after Gemma and Danniella flounced off. Jeremy and Steph are the last two standing and he threw it to her. That was actually a really sweet moment. Whatever you think of Steph, her relationship with Jeremy is real, unlike GC and Danniella's, which is rotten.
So Christopher can see that GC is fucking up Danniella's chances, but will he dare say it to anyone but Darren? The chainsmoking chickens in the corner! They should have a sign up in the corner saying 'Spines not required'. Christopher is right, GC is playing Danniella. That sums it up completely. I'd really warmed to Christopher after that jungle task, but I'm really fed up with him when he won't stand up and be counted. If he DOES, he could go deep.
The housemates are playing charades when the miserable cows re-enter. I'm shocked they don't even get a warning from Big Brother. They looked very cheerful in the DR. They are MUGGING OFF Big Brother (and us watching). Gemma doesn't mind going in a cage now. That claustrophobia clears up quickly, doesn't it?
Then they come back in and say sorry to Jeremy, but not Steph. It's just wrong. That felt horrible.
I'm really pleased Steph has immunity but less of the 22-year-old girl crap. She's right to feel aggrieved, though. She's not 'over thinking it'. She understands it completely. She gets it.
There was a bit with John getting involved (never!) and Tiffany summing it all up in the DR but that doesn't really need repeating.
Danniella then apologised. I do think Danniella is just a basketcase in with the wrong crowd. Her apology seemed genuine - I think she's just missing her kids, but no need to be sexist.
Gemma to Steph: 'Giwls have gotta stick togevver.' Ok then. Steph seems to be hinting she's done with her boyfriend now. About time. I wish she'd just say it outright.
Random moment of the night: Tiffany to Darren: 'You're such a force in here. You're so sexy and masculine.' A force! He's less than a drip. Darren thinks she's on a task but he's 'very flattered.' Tiffany thought he was 30! Hahaha. Darren: 'I'm happily married.' LOL. He's not trying to be a love rat in there, Tiffany. All I can think is Darren Day smells great or something. Women just fall at his feet. But in reality, he must smell like Rothmans.
Don't forget to listen to Big Brother Bile, it's going a bit stale now, but should be a fresh episode early next week: Bit on the snide
Cheers for reading. Goodnight!
So it's a sad goodbye to David Gest (RIP), a fuck you to Angie Bowie (in the paper today saying Bowie strangled her; thought she didn't want to talk to the press?) Apparently she gave up £200,000 to walk. She wasn't worth £200.
I was very pleased to see the housemate evicted was rat-on-the-beach Megan. God, can someone sort out her style, the Princess Anne hair and the Dallas make-up makes her look in her fifties. I was chuffed to see her go instead of a decent housemate like Tiffany or John. I was surprised to see so many people boohooing on Twitter about Megan leaving. She had no redeeming features, thick as fuck, psychotic and a borderline racist. Excuse me if I don't cry my eyes out. Oh, she did have one redeeming feature, I take it back. Her arse cheeks. Or is that two? Either way, see ya.
It's obvious GC was going to stay on eviction night because the idiot general public (t.m. Helen Wood) AND the producers seem to love her despite the fact she is literally blowing up their game by refusing to play it. So then they give her immunity. You can say she picked where to stand but one of the task team could pushed a gold OR white mask up, cos let's face it, the handles they were turning weren't operating the boxes. Jeremy pulled his off (oo-er) and it still popped up. That sentence didn't get any better, did it?
So I suppose the 'top story' apart from GC vs John is Stephanie and Jeremy. I admire Stephanie just because she's the only one standing up to Gemma. Christopher and Darren finally appeared to say a couple of negative things about Gemma, AFTER they heard her get booed. Steph's thrush battle yesterday was revolting in more ways than one. But what was more gross than pigeon shit knickers, or creaming your knickers over Jeremy and admitting it, or knickers being left on the table, or the gang up eyes (redux) is people on Twitter calling Steph a slag. And it's not just the people using that word, it's the whole tone of the self-appointed morality police. They're worse than Scotty T. Who does it actually affect that Steph is 'cheating' (if you can call it that) on her boyfriend on TV? Her boyfriend. How awful for him, etc. But is it affecting your life? No, you're being given content for a TV show you watch. You might not want to watch that; I don't particularly, either, I think it's played out. She's not going to dump her boyfriend and commit to Jeremy, she's keeping her options open and I DON'T BLAME HER. Jeremy could just as easily fuck off back to Ireland. She's got Big Brother Brain and Jeremy is her Big Brother Boyfriend. Her OWN boyfriend has surely dumped her by now. But I don't think Steph can see outside the situation like we can. I think she probably thinks she can patch it up. Maybe she can. And if she can, or she can't, what's it got to do with us? Of course we can comment on the show, and what she's doing and blah blah blah, that's what Twitter and blogs and pods are for. But take a look at yourself, and ask yourself, have you ever done anything wrong in your life? The fact is, the Twitter handwringers are just like GC when she saw Jeremy and Steph under the covers; pleased as fucking punch to have something to be outraged about. So do us all a favour, and get off your high horse (if you're on one). Otherwise, you're no better than John Partridge, ha.
Anyway, in other news I heard GC cut her finger and has been 'rushed to hospital'. Don't rush back. Is it wrong to hope she gets gangrene? She'll probably come back with the Sunday papers and a new wardrobe.
Tiffany has been doing SO WELL lately. Her bathroom convo with John on the live feed over knickergate was one of the weirdest and most compelling things I've seen. Two true gamers in action, hamming it up. Fuck, yes. I think John is great and he must stay to the end. He's so dramatic and totally fake, therefore a great housemate.
So who's writing the warning, cos we've had Highly Offensive, HIGHLY OFFENSIVE and now HIGHLY Offensive language. But which is worse?
Er, why the fuck is Gemma getting a blowdry? Typical selfish bitch move by her there. Why doesn't she just fuck off home if she wants a blowdry? I actually think I hate her more than any other person on Big Brother ever. Is that even possible? The levels of bile runneth over! I spend the entire episode FURIOUS. Can't be healthy. No wonder Chris and Darren are nervous wrecks.
Bossing the hairdresser around, argh! Hold on, is that the stripper from the other night? I note that was cut from the highlights, and not surprised as I thought it was borderline sexual assault. Plus who wants a stripper with a beard? This beard thing must end soon. It's already been going on ten years too long. BEARDS ARE DISGUSTING. SHAVE THEM OFF.
So it's not 'a proper Essex blowdry'. What does that entail, glittery hairspray and a magazine deal at the end of it? Yes, she's still fucking moaning. GC is getting the full Frankie Grande edit from the producers now. They must despise her because she's making them look a fool. She has no respect for Big Brother, won't do tasks, comes and goes as she pleases. Just get a fucking turnstile in and be done with it.
Stephanie informing Jeremy about her required after sex etiquette while holding his hand. Can we just call her relationship done and let them get on with it? Then I can actually enjoy the romance instead of it being a bit grubby. It makes me cringe when I see them together, not because I care, but because I know I'm going to have to unfollow another 20 people on Twitter calling her a slag. And they were people whose opinions I respected, people I liked. And that hurts my feelings.
So here it is, Gemma tried to peel a potato with the sort of knife that should probably be banned in Big Brother and cut her finger 'through to the bone'. Darren: 'That's quite a bit of claret.' Is that you, Danny Dyer? Bleed, bitch, bleed!
Dt Ottoman was in no rush. Let's hope she treats him better than she does her hairdresser. GC has gone to the hospital to get stitches. Imagine how relieved they must all feel. I wonder if we'll ever get to evict her and feel the same way?
I just missed the rules to the task but I guess I'll figure it out. Oh it's like 15 to 1. You answer a question and then knock someone out (not like that, although...). Scotty T thinks Darren might win the whole show. Danniella made Chris lose a life 'cos he's her friend'. Er...?
Tragic that Christopher didn't dare say Gemma was the drama queen of the house. What a fucking wet weekend. He nom-vommed her face to face! He'd been growing on me, too. I hate the words 'man up' but MAN UP has never been more apt in this case.
Scotty T targeting Steph again. With friends like him, who needs enemies? And still he'll win it.
GC threatening Danniella: 'Play it properly then.' Scary. She's like a one-woman mafia.
Gemma's face when Stephanie was being honest about what a cunt she is. Danniella sticking her oar in. What a bitch.
Danniella: 'I want a gift from my kids.' Who said it was that anyway? She's demented. I know she's having a bad day, but Jesus. I read on Twitter the prize was a facial. You can't just make up what prize you want. If you want to see a picture of your kids, go home. I hope your letter from home gets shredded, too.
So Danniella was cool to lose a life when it was Scotty, but not when it was Steph. 'And so you know it.' Gemma's face said she got whatever she wanted. Danniella stormed out the room.
GC (shouting): 'Stop it cos you're a very nasty girl!' Steph hadn't actually said a word. Then Gemma goes, 'She's mugging you off left right and centre' to Jeremy. Then she screams in the kitchen 'She don't let up!' Who? YOU! Steph was just playing the game, participating in the task, an alien concept to you, I know. Disappointed to see Tiffany go with them. She had a duff edit tonight.
Danniella: 'The bird's a fucking bully.' How has Steph bullied anyone? She's the one BEING BULLIED. And I don't use that word lightly, although I generally don't give a shit about that word (unlike slag). Which brings us to:
'You're a fucking slag, love!' Danniella screams, while out of earshot. Really brave. Well you're a washed-up dog. Then they bash out the fire exit and Gemma goes 'they either remove her or we're going.' Um... do you want an Uber or just get the bus?
I love the fact the task just went on after Gemma and Danniella flounced off. Jeremy and Steph are the last two standing and he threw it to her. That was actually a really sweet moment. Whatever you think of Steph, her relationship with Jeremy is real, unlike GC and Danniella's, which is rotten.
So Christopher can see that GC is fucking up Danniella's chances, but will he dare say it to anyone but Darren? The chainsmoking chickens in the corner! They should have a sign up in the corner saying 'Spines not required'. Christopher is right, GC is playing Danniella. That sums it up completely. I'd really warmed to Christopher after that jungle task, but I'm really fed up with him when he won't stand up and be counted. If he DOES, he could go deep.
The housemates are playing charades when the miserable cows re-enter. I'm shocked they don't even get a warning from Big Brother. They looked very cheerful in the DR. They are MUGGING OFF Big Brother (and us watching). Gemma doesn't mind going in a cage now. That claustrophobia clears up quickly, doesn't it?
Then they come back in and say sorry to Jeremy, but not Steph. It's just wrong. That felt horrible.
I'm really pleased Steph has immunity but less of the 22-year-old girl crap. She's right to feel aggrieved, though. She's not 'over thinking it'. She understands it completely. She gets it.
There was a bit with John getting involved (never!) and Tiffany summing it all up in the DR but that doesn't really need repeating.
Danniella then apologised. I do think Danniella is just a basketcase in with the wrong crowd. Her apology seemed genuine - I think she's just missing her kids, but no need to be sexist.
Gemma to Steph: 'Giwls have gotta stick togevver.' Ok then. Steph seems to be hinting she's done with her boyfriend now. About time. I wish she'd just say it outright.
Random moment of the night: Tiffany to Darren: 'You're such a force in here. You're so sexy and masculine.' A force! He's less than a drip. Darren thinks she's on a task but he's 'very flattered.' Tiffany thought he was 30! Hahaha. Darren: 'I'm happily married.' LOL. He's not trying to be a love rat in there, Tiffany. All I can think is Darren Day smells great or something. Women just fall at his feet. But in reality, he must smell like Rothmans.
Don't forget to listen to Big Brother Bile, it's going a bit stale now, but should be a fresh episode early next week: Bit on the snide
Cheers for reading. Goodnight!
Friday, 15 January 2016
Celebrity Big Brother 2016: Lip Sync Prattle
OMG I can't actually listen to this rat screeching again. Is it a double tonight? I can't believe she's not up. She would stay anyway, because those moronic people going 'ooh ooh' would vote for her. I'm sure she or Scotty T will win as their show starts on MTV next week. I'm onto you, Ted-demol. Plus that bedwetter won.Who's doing Emma's hair these days, Donald Trump?
At least they've got their hashtag in check, I hate #cbb2016 even though I've been doing it like a mug.
I honestly think Nancy/Angie will go as they've had zilch airtime the past two days. A noms twist? I'm definitely not voting.
Why is Gemma getting cheers? I knew Jeremy would. Must be the Aquafresh crew in the crowd. They fucking love watching him brush his teeth while wearing his coat. Really turns them on.
Megan's hangover must be REAL. So everyone today is going 'Megan has a point, she just expressed it badly.' Er... there's expressing something badly and there's turning into a fucking banshee on crack. She is POISON.
A few people seem annoyed with John now. Danniella; 'A few people sit in corners and load the gun.'
John has stirred the pot but it's NOTHING compared to what Megan did yesterday. I am still agog she's even in the house.
Stephanie 'doesn't remember' kissing Jeremy, ha. Good one. A friend of mine pulls that one after a few drinks and ends up in a strange woman's bed.
Oh Danniella is saying Gemma 'loads the gun', I thought she meant John.
Megan's warning: Aggressive. So she was aggressive, racist, hit the camera, had a go at Big Brother and she's still there. Megan is still arguing with Big Brother! OMG. Get the hint. Then Tiffany got a warning for 'rising out of bed'. Stupid. Big Brother is racist. Keeps a racist in the house and has a go at a black person. Typical!
If I was a housemate I'd be SHOCKED to see her back. Megan is back and still 'agged': 'From what I remember...' Don't think that's going to stand up in a court of law. Darren: 'Tiffany was the one who got out of bed.' Grow some balls, man! God, what a shrew. I really want to like him, but he just agrees with whoever he's talking to.
Megan is trying to explain to Tiffany in her sober state that she's not a nutbag. Too late, man, too late.
Gemma: 'Megan, you did nuffink wrong last night.' Psycho enabler.
Megan: 'Maybe because I was drunk last night I wasn't explaining it right.' You could say that. You know, calling her a 'ghetto cunt' and all that. Megan is the epitome of white trash, btw.
John: 'It was nothing to do with me.' What about 'clearing up shit' gate? Christopher Maloney needs more airtime. Along with Gest.
Gemma: 'People have smelt the shit and woken up to it.' Most of it is coming out of your mouth.
John can't believe how people manipulate in there, cos he thought it was just him doing it, ha.
Who's more intelligent, a lemon in a sock or Scotty T? Can we vote for the lemon in a sock to win?
Megan 'aint disrespecting Big Brother.' She hasn't ruined my view on her, I thought she was scum and she IS scum. If she's ever read a book, then I'd be fucking shocked.
OK a new task, lip sync battle. Hey, isn't that on in a minute? Tricksy! Guess what, I still won't be watching. Fuck you, C5. Scotty T thinks it's fun though, so that's the main thing. What's the point of a task with no shitstir aspect? At least give us some outside contact, lol.
Shit, Christopher Maloney in drag looks like Dobby from Peep Show (illustrated above, like Smash Hits).
I like the song Bonkers. Jeremy doesn't seem to know the words. He's lost without his toothbrush. David thinks it was 'absolutely fantastic.' Once Ash Harrison said those words and the next day, Armageddon happened. Go figure.
I'm not sure what Jonathan would say if he could see Gemma's outfit today, but I think it might be 'eek.'
I forgot to watch Nancy and Angie because... weeeeeeelll.
Isn't it great to see them having fun? No. Well it's OK, Gemma's here to ruin it. 'We're not mugs, we're from Essex.'
Haha, when you're so common you think John Patridge is posh. *embarrassed face emoji* David Gest is trying to stop Gemma and Megan winding each other up. Gemma: 'I want to know what the wink meant.' It means John thinks you're a pair of cunts.
If Darren keeps hanging out with Gemma he will go down in my estimation BADLY. The fact Gemma and Megan hate John is making me like John again. There's a lot of ups and downs with this show. But then someone reminded me about him trying to get Tiffany out by force. But still, at least he's not Gemma or Megan. It's a scale here.
Stephanie is worried she might get booed. She'll be lucky if she's not burnt at the stake in slutshame Britain.
Ooh Angie's jacket is rather fab. Stephanie is getting some cheers. Things have changed since the Hazel days, haven't they? And Hazel was in Jeremy's position, if you get my meaning. Get who out? Get John out! OMG. Do people like Darren that much, ha? The good part will be seeing him to try and change up his game and failing. Aw. What about his musical in Northampton?
And why not 'get Megan out'?! Is the idiot general public really that dumb? (Yes)
Did Gemma have the most votes to save?! WTF. I AM NOT ON THE SAME PLANET AS YOU PEOPLE. I knew Stephanie was safe. One of the oldies will go. I'm glad they keep Jeremy waiting at least. He'll have time to brush his teeth again, at least. Mmm, sexy! (blergh)
And we're back in the room. Why is Nancy getting booed? She's done nothing. Not even nothing wrong, just nothing. I would have prefered her to stay over Angie. She had more to offer. We didn't even get to hear her slag off Ulrika. I would have enjoyed that.
I find Nancy strangely classy and interesting, or intriguing at least. Emma is talking to her like she's an idiot.
Nancy: 'Some situations it's not even worth it to have an opinion.' True. Pretty boring interview, really. 'Too polite to stay in the house.' True. It was so random when she picked Scotty T FTW. I think those two had a bit of a thing.
Nancy's 'friends and family' looked like Jason Statham.
Oh God, don't let these cunts choose. They're letting Gemma, Angie, Jeremy and Stephanie vote. WHY! WHY!!!
All the old people will be nominated. Darren, John, Gest. Ooh Angie nommed Kristina but took so long she didn't give a reason. Gemma nommed John for nomming Darren. What a smug bitch.
Jeremy nommed Tiffany. Stephanie nommed Danniella. Christopher Maloney was lucky to not get nommed! Good stuff. I'm glad Gest and Darren weren't nommed either. Kristina will go. DISGUSTING that Megan is not up. I fucking HATE Megan and Gemma. Pond life look down on these two. Pond life look like Nancy Dellollio compared to these two.
PS: Sorry to keep you waiting with the podcast, James has been ill and also doing some overtime so we're a bit behind schedule. We'll be back on air(time) on Monday or Tuesday. Also should be on track to do regular pods after that as his shifts will work out better. The next one should be pretty packed, I'd imagine, like an episode of Sistah Speak, late but long! Thanks for your patience!
PPS: I like Emma's coat. That's the only good thing I have to say about her.
Friday, 6 February 2015
Celebrity Big Brother 2015 Live Final: Jor-done it
So here we are, D day. Or should that be E day? Or F day? No don't mention the F word. And still I'm wondering; how the hell did Perez get the boot on Weds? I know he had a lot of haters, but Calum STD Best got more votes than him? How so? And don't give me that teenage girl vote bullshit. No self respecting teenage girl would fancy a man with a toupee and a face like a jacket potato. Not to mention those mainstream trainers.
So tell me, who is there to vote for now, who is there to root for? I am not voting for ANYONE. It's a choice between fencesitters and cunts, and I can't bring myself to take either side (although, natually, I'm more of a cunt.) It's obvious Katie Hopkins will win, as the idiotgeneralpublic (t.m.) think she's changed, or because she pretends to cry, she's human or some bullshit. All I can hope for is a Cheggers/Jordan final two. And how boring would that be?
I PRAY Michelle Visage gets chucked out first and gets the Janice Battersby two-by-two exit. I was so upset that she beat Perez, but she was obviously thrilled to see two gay men go in one night, so she could get to the final and speak for them. When Perez called her out on her LGBT bullshit it was a joy and it really upset her, which proved he had a point.
The way Perez was treated in the house was terrible (James Jordan and Jim Davidson were the final insult), and his revelations about production said it all (the Ted files). Anyway, him being evicted on Weds ruined tonight and what would have been a good battle of evil against (fake) evil at the end. Now we have people who've barely spoken against one person who's just a nasty piece of work.
I liked Cheggers '10ps down the phone box' comment. I also liked Katie Hopkins 'kicked out of a care home' comment.
Why no ex-housemates walking out on the stage? Boo. Oh probably because of the boos.
Jordan has to go see Dr Ottoman for a boob feel. Katie telling her to leave! Hilarious. No hidden agenda there. Not at all! No one resents Jordan for coming in late, just for not kicking Katie Hopkins arse. OMG Katie Hopkins, Visage and Calum having a go at her. Transparent or what. Bad gameplay at the end. Do they think we're dumb?
No final dinner can ever compare to Spencer and Heidi's 'my England, my kryptonite.' Legacy.
No two by two? 'Get Hopkins out'. Woo!
Michelle is out! Beaten by Queen Jordan! That will teach you. Should have picked your friends better. PS: The LGBT community want their acronym back.
Emma saying to Michelle that she's 'very likeable.' She's about as likeable as Emma. Props for the Leo Sayer reference, though.
Hold on, what the fuck is Emma wearing! How did I just notice that?
Is Perez crying at Michelle slagging him off? Oh, the drama. Going on about 'the gays' again. They're not puppies. It's dehumanising. Also, why is Hopkins not allowed to talk to Perez? Is Michelle the mafia? Get out. The UK doesn't like you back.
Cheggers out next. He also looks disappointed. What's the opposite of wahey? He's giving it the two thumbs up for his photo, you've got to respect that. Then crying like a baby. Thought he was always happy! Lies.
Cheggers loves his wife, I dunno if you've heard. I like the bits where they showed him shouting at people. Those were his best moments. He's right about the acting in the house, too.
Kavana is flipping the bird at Cheggers, what the fuck? The indignity! I like the fact Cheggers refered to him as a 'fellow alcoholic.' Cheggers has washed his hands of Perez. Well, he does enjoy cleaning. Cheggers is getting the wub wubs on his best bits. Standard. Keith is allowed to tell other people to fuck off in his highlights, I see. Hypocrisy!
Calum out next. Hurrah! Pack up your hair piece, your mainstream trainers and get back to your PAs. He'll no doubt be shagging some random in a toilet before the night is out. Nothing interesting to say except bashing Perez. Yawn. I'm glad 'shove it up your arse' made his best bits.
The final two is a total hair or scare. The battle of the bouffants. LOL Jordan went in, did fuck all and won it. Sweet. I cracked and voted for her and Cheggers, too. Tee hee. Hopkins can go back to being a panto villian. Booooo!
Hopkins interview all about Perez, too. 'I don't like people picking on people...' Unless it's me, should have been the end of that sentence. I'm glad she admitted she liked having a sparring partner. Going on about Switzerland again. I'd rather be Switzerland than Cuntworld.
Emma thinks Katie has been phenomenal. Alright then. And that dress you're wearing is flattering.
Jordan is a gibbering wreck. Little does she know she just benefitted from the anti-Hopkins vote.
The Jeggers alliance was triumphant. Hold on, why has Nadia got headphones in?
All Jeggers did was talk about horses, ha. Jordan hopes Michelle hasn't been bitchy about her. Er... oh well. Alex Reid won't be happy. And Pete the Parent will be livid!
One things for sure, there's only one thing we'll remember about this series and he rode the fun train out of there on Wednesday.
Thanks for reading. PS: The bilecast will be out on Sunday. Stay tuned!
So tell me, who is there to vote for now, who is there to root for? I am not voting for ANYONE. It's a choice between fencesitters and cunts, and I can't bring myself to take either side (although, natually, I'm more of a cunt.) It's obvious Katie Hopkins will win, as the idiotgeneralpublic (t.m.) think she's changed, or because she pretends to cry, she's human or some bullshit. All I can hope for is a Cheggers/Jordan final two. And how boring would that be?
I PRAY Michelle Visage gets chucked out first and gets the Janice Battersby two-by-two exit. I was so upset that she beat Perez, but she was obviously thrilled to see two gay men go in one night, so she could get to the final and speak for them. When Perez called her out on her LGBT bullshit it was a joy and it really upset her, which proved he had a point.
The way Perez was treated in the house was terrible (James Jordan and Jim Davidson were the final insult), and his revelations about production said it all (the Ted files). Anyway, him being evicted on Weds ruined tonight and what would have been a good battle of evil against (fake) evil at the end. Now we have people who've barely spoken against one person who's just a nasty piece of work.
I liked Cheggers '10ps down the phone box' comment. I also liked Katie Hopkins 'kicked out of a care home' comment.
Why no ex-housemates walking out on the stage? Boo. Oh probably because of the boos.
Jordan has to go see Dr Ottoman for a boob feel. Katie telling her to leave! Hilarious. No hidden agenda there. Not at all! No one resents Jordan for coming in late, just for not kicking Katie Hopkins arse. OMG Katie Hopkins, Visage and Calum having a go at her. Transparent or what. Bad gameplay at the end. Do they think we're dumb?
No final dinner can ever compare to Spencer and Heidi's 'my England, my kryptonite.' Legacy.
No two by two? 'Get Hopkins out'. Woo!
Michelle is out! Beaten by Queen Jordan! That will teach you. Should have picked your friends better. PS: The LGBT community want their acronym back.
Emma saying to Michelle that she's 'very likeable.' She's about as likeable as Emma. Props for the Leo Sayer reference, though.
Hold on, what the fuck is Emma wearing! How did I just notice that?
Is Perez crying at Michelle slagging him off? Oh, the drama. Going on about 'the gays' again. They're not puppies. It's dehumanising. Also, why is Hopkins not allowed to talk to Perez? Is Michelle the mafia? Get out. The UK doesn't like you back.
Cheggers out next. He also looks disappointed. What's the opposite of wahey? He's giving it the two thumbs up for his photo, you've got to respect that. Then crying like a baby. Thought he was always happy! Lies.
Cheggers loves his wife, I dunno if you've heard. I like the bits where they showed him shouting at people. Those were his best moments. He's right about the acting in the house, too.
Kavana is flipping the bird at Cheggers, what the fuck? The indignity! I like the fact Cheggers refered to him as a 'fellow alcoholic.' Cheggers has washed his hands of Perez. Well, he does enjoy cleaning. Cheggers is getting the wub wubs on his best bits. Standard. Keith is allowed to tell other people to fuck off in his highlights, I see. Hypocrisy!
Calum out next. Hurrah! Pack up your hair piece, your mainstream trainers and get back to your PAs. He'll no doubt be shagging some random in a toilet before the night is out. Nothing interesting to say except bashing Perez. Yawn. I'm glad 'shove it up your arse' made his best bits.
The final two is a total hair or scare. The battle of the bouffants. LOL Jordan went in, did fuck all and won it. Sweet. I cracked and voted for her and Cheggers, too. Tee hee. Hopkins can go back to being a panto villian. Booooo!
Hopkins interview all about Perez, too. 'I don't like people picking on people...' Unless it's me, should have been the end of that sentence. I'm glad she admitted she liked having a sparring partner. Going on about Switzerland again. I'd rather be Switzerland than Cuntworld.
Emma thinks Katie has been phenomenal. Alright then. And that dress you're wearing is flattering.
Jordan is a gibbering wreck. Little does she know she just benefitted from the anti-Hopkins vote.
The Jeggers alliance was triumphant. Hold on, why has Nadia got headphones in?
All Jeggers did was talk about horses, ha. Jordan hopes Michelle hasn't been bitchy about her. Er... oh well. Alex Reid won't be happy. And Pete the Parent will be livid!
One things for sure, there's only one thing we'll remember about this series and he rode the fun train out of there on Wednesday.
Thanks for reading. PS: The bilecast will be out on Sunday. Stay tuned!
Friday, 16 January 2015
Celebrity Big Brother 2015: I'm a producer's wet dream
So is Jordan going in tonight? I personally don't care either way. I find her monotone and boring. We've seen her schtick too many times before.
Katie vs Alicia. I don't care about that either, tbh. More Perez, please! Perez has become my new favourite. It was when he started crying during the talent show that I realised. He is pure drama. I love him. When he said 'the British public love this' - he was right.
Look, people are cuddling Katie Hopkins. They must be evil. They ARE evil.
I'm not voting tonight because I don't care who goes. I'm more worried about what Mr Buns the rabbit is doing.
Katie Hopkins is crying because people like her. Boo! That's not what we want to see. Look at Katie stroking Cami's hair. Grooming her, literally.
Alicia and Perez chumming up is ace. They are both as mad as each other. Why is Kavana trying to tear them apart?! I'm glad Alicia grassed on him. Perez is pure entertainment.
Good luck to Chloe, wanting to put Perez in the background. You'd have a better job trying to Cami do a bit of lesbian horseplay.
Get Perez out! Boo! Michelle got cheered. They saved Alicia first! Yeah! Then Michelle! Cool.
Perez is cracking me up in the garden. I love how much he's winding them all up. He's filling the Jeremy hole for me atm.
Nadia is sticking up for Perez. She's making his stock plummet. Cheggers is pretending he likes Perez. I think it's just because he hates Cami more than Perez. Patsy is INVISIBLE tonight. Calum is doing the whole nice guy act.
Perez is doing a Busey right now. He's stealing the show. I can't bear him, yet I love him.
Stop arguing before bed! It's hard to know who's side to take in Nadia vs Cami, they are both so odious.
I'm glad Alicia said 'fuck you' to Cami. Not before time. They are bullying her. I can't BELIEVE Cami said her family don't love her. What an absolute cunt. Then she denied it! Cami is a cunthole. No getting around it.
What the FUCK is Perez doing? Show it closer, please! LOL. What is Michelle talking about 'our community'? Is she gay? She's not even gay, so I don't know what she's talking about. Get a grip. Perez is hilarity.
Chloe has been evicted. Dressed as a wench. Unfortunate. That's guilt by association for hanging out with Cunti Li. Bet she sells her down the river soon enough. Can we have Jeremy back now? I'm sure he's changed, ha.
Chloe: 'There's not one person in there who's actually enjoying themselves.' LOL.
Chloe: 'Katie is a wonderful lady.' OK then.
They seem to be skirting over the Jeremy thing pretty hard in the interview. Probably legal reasons. Why did they never interview Jeremy? They interviewed Daley. I saw Pippy interview him on This Morning.
Chloe would love to see Cami in the final. Good luck with that.
Why is Emma interviewing Chloe with her coat on? It makes me on edge. Look at those gloves, too. It looks like she's going to strangle someone. Jeremy has been erased from her best bits! Boo!
And now time for the 'shock' arrival... but is it a shock? Oh, no it's Jordan.
Jordan's VT made me LOL! I hope she's locked her fanny rat husband in a cupboard. Katie Hopkins looks pissed off. Michelle looks too pissed off, too.
Ha, what was Perez doing! Hiding in the corner. Banished LOL. Jordan banished Perez, Cami and Nadia. Jordan is a pro at this, listen to that speech she did. TRUE GAMER.
Who is Perez saying is still on drugs?!
Hopefully there'll be a podcast later! It's been a busy week so lots to talk about... god help us. Thanks for reading!
Katie vs Alicia. I don't care about that either, tbh. More Perez, please! Perez has become my new favourite. It was when he started crying during the talent show that I realised. He is pure drama. I love him. When he said 'the British public love this' - he was right.
Look, people are cuddling Katie Hopkins. They must be evil. They ARE evil.
I'm not voting tonight because I don't care who goes. I'm more worried about what Mr Buns the rabbit is doing.
Katie Hopkins is crying because people like her. Boo! That's not what we want to see. Look at Katie stroking Cami's hair. Grooming her, literally.
Alicia and Perez chumming up is ace. They are both as mad as each other. Why is Kavana trying to tear them apart?! I'm glad Alicia grassed on him. Perez is pure entertainment.
Good luck to Chloe, wanting to put Perez in the background. You'd have a better job trying to Cami do a bit of lesbian horseplay.
Get Perez out! Boo! Michelle got cheered. They saved Alicia first! Yeah! Then Michelle! Cool.
Perez is cracking me up in the garden. I love how much he's winding them all up. He's filling the Jeremy hole for me atm.
Nadia is sticking up for Perez. She's making his stock plummet. Cheggers is pretending he likes Perez. I think it's just because he hates Cami more than Perez. Patsy is INVISIBLE tonight. Calum is doing the whole nice guy act.
Perez is doing a Busey right now. He's stealing the show. I can't bear him, yet I love him.
Stop arguing before bed! It's hard to know who's side to take in Nadia vs Cami, they are both so odious.
I'm glad Alicia said 'fuck you' to Cami. Not before time. They are bullying her. I can't BELIEVE Cami said her family don't love her. What an absolute cunt. Then she denied it! Cami is a cunthole. No getting around it.
What the FUCK is Perez doing? Show it closer, please! LOL. What is Michelle talking about 'our community'? Is she gay? She's not even gay, so I don't know what she's talking about. Get a grip. Perez is hilarity.
Chloe has been evicted. Dressed as a wench. Unfortunate. That's guilt by association for hanging out with Cunti Li. Bet she sells her down the river soon enough. Can we have Jeremy back now? I'm sure he's changed, ha.
Chloe: 'There's not one person in there who's actually enjoying themselves.' LOL.
Chloe: 'Katie is a wonderful lady.' OK then.
They seem to be skirting over the Jeremy thing pretty hard in the interview. Probably legal reasons. Why did they never interview Jeremy? They interviewed Daley. I saw Pippy interview him on This Morning.
Chloe would love to see Cami in the final. Good luck with that.
Why is Emma interviewing Chloe with her coat on? It makes me on edge. Look at those gloves, too. It looks like she's going to strangle someone. Jeremy has been erased from her best bits! Boo!
And now time for the 'shock' arrival... but is it a shock? Oh, no it's Jordan.
Jordan's VT made me LOL! I hope she's locked her fanny rat husband in a cupboard. Katie Hopkins looks pissed off. Michelle looks too pissed off, too.
Ha, what was Perez doing! Hiding in the corner. Banished LOL. Jordan banished Perez, Cami and Nadia. Jordan is a pro at this, listen to that speech she did. TRUE GAMER.
Who is Perez saying is still on drugs?!
Hopefully there'll be a podcast later! It's been a busy week so lots to talk about... god help us. Thanks for reading!
Saturday, 10 January 2015
Celebrity Big Brother 2015: Jeremy's broken
OH NO. The worst has happened. My Jeremy, my kryptonite has been evicted, and they won't even tell us why. This is why they don't have live feed, so they can TV-bait us like this. I don't think they've ever done this before though, not told us why someone's left. Imagine if we'd had to wait to find out when Nasty Nick got the boot? It would have been unthinkable.
That was a very comprehensive disclaimer at the start! Oh dear.
Reg is obviously going to be a total pervert tonight. Looks like he's lucky Jeremy takes the heat off him.
Dear God, Perez is SUCH a crawler. Reg thinks he's 'stirring'. He's actually being completely inappropriate.
I HATE Nadia! Lucy Cave said on BOTS that 'everyone loves her.' I don't, I she's fucking useless. Typical middle-aged CBB contestant. Boring, opinionated and sanctimonious. I'd rather be mates with Katie Hopkins than her. Also, she's trying to set herself up as Katie's nemesis and it's too transparent.
Reg to Cami: 'Half Hindu Princess, half slut.' Which turned to 'half Moroccan, half whore.' He should be given a warning on that basis alone. I am offended.
I'm glad Michelle told him to watch his mouth with the younger girls. Hold on, why is Nadia in a Parka and Perez and Cami are in their pants?! What's the temperature in there?
This is the part where we sit through the noms again. I don't mind if Reg dies of old age or boredom, as long as he dies.
Cami is a good character, whether she's a bitch or not. She might have to be my new fave now Jeremy's sexually assaulted someone.
Jeremy's splits are more impressive than most things in that house. 'The sacred juice!' Is Jeremy vaping crack? Oh dear, he had such potential.
Uh oh. 'Nice big fat Negro.' On a normal night, that would be enough drama. Ken should go, that's really offensive. That must make Alexander feel awful. Horrible man. Gross.
Oh, OK, so Chloe went in to look after Jeremy when he was sick and he groped her. How much booze have they given them, or is he on something else, too? If it IS just booze, Big Brother has to take some responsibility. On BBUS they don't give them drink, because of shit like this.
Jeremy: 'the time between being sick and being OK is pretty much the only moment I feel alive.' Oh my God. What a quote. And then.
Jeremy was off his fucking face and pulled her dressing gown to one side. Oh, God, Chloe is really upset. That is over the line and completely unacceptable. I don't think he's a monster, but he can't control himself and he needs to go for the safety of the others.
Jeremy comes out the bathroom going 'Elvis has left the building.' Nearly. Calum seemed to think it was OK.
'Curiosity killed the cat!' WTF. That's not much justification.
Perez and Michelle were the only ones right in that situation. 'Not OK' are the right words. Horrible to have that happen to you. Then she goes 'I know I've done page 3.' Poor thing, she's victim blaming herself. That is how deep rape culture is. She was trying to help him and he basically attacked her and she blamed herself. That's how it is to be a woman. Itt really is.
And now Jeremy is on the couch, getting affirmation from known pervert and racist Ken. 'I grabbed the tip of her robe to see.' To see what?! Her boobs without permission!?
Katie accusing Perez of 'whipping it up.' Perez has had a problem with Jeremy from day one, but with due cause, I guess,but still I question Perez motives. Just because one person is in the wrong, doesn't meant the people rallying round are in the right.
'Out of innocence. Out of curiosity.' Innocence! Funny choice of words. 'Emotionally wounded.' There's the door, Jeremy, get out. So they didn't kick him out straight away! Interesting.I wonder why. Consulting the lawyers?
Ken: 'Jeremy is a Jewish film producer from New York.' What the fuck is that meant to mean! He's obsessed with race and religion. Get him out! Ken has got to go. 'Violent fuck'? WTF. OMG what is going on with Ken and Perez in the loo! 'Disgusting misogynistic homophobic pig' is right. Calum is a tittering fencesitter. Nadia is also loving all of this, she's in her element.
So last night, Ken commented on race, Jewishness, sluts. Even when he got a warning he couldn't give a shit.
Now Jeremy's getting da boot. RIP. He did have the potential to be brilliant. Perhaps if he's stopped drinking. Maybe this will be the kick up the arse he needs to go to rehab. I hope so.
That was a very comprehensive disclaimer at the start! Oh dear.
Reg is obviously going to be a total pervert tonight. Looks like he's lucky Jeremy takes the heat off him.
Dear God, Perez is SUCH a crawler. Reg thinks he's 'stirring'. He's actually being completely inappropriate.
I HATE Nadia! Lucy Cave said on BOTS that 'everyone loves her.' I don't, I she's fucking useless. Typical middle-aged CBB contestant. Boring, opinionated and sanctimonious. I'd rather be mates with Katie Hopkins than her. Also, she's trying to set herself up as Katie's nemesis and it's too transparent.
Reg to Cami: 'Half Hindu Princess, half slut.' Which turned to 'half Moroccan, half whore.' He should be given a warning on that basis alone. I am offended.
I'm glad Michelle told him to watch his mouth with the younger girls. Hold on, why is Nadia in a Parka and Perez and Cami are in their pants?! What's the temperature in there?
This is the part where we sit through the noms again. I don't mind if Reg dies of old age or boredom, as long as he dies.
Cami is a good character, whether she's a bitch or not. She might have to be my new fave now Jeremy's sexually assaulted someone.
Jeremy's splits are more impressive than most things in that house. 'The sacred juice!' Is Jeremy vaping crack? Oh dear, he had such potential.
Uh oh. 'Nice big fat Negro.' On a normal night, that would be enough drama. Ken should go, that's really offensive. That must make Alexander feel awful. Horrible man. Gross.
Oh, OK, so Chloe went in to look after Jeremy when he was sick and he groped her. How much booze have they given them, or is he on something else, too? If it IS just booze, Big Brother has to take some responsibility. On BBUS they don't give them drink, because of shit like this.
Jeremy: 'the time between being sick and being OK is pretty much the only moment I feel alive.' Oh my God. What a quote. And then.
Jeremy was off his fucking face and pulled her dressing gown to one side. Oh, God, Chloe is really upset. That is over the line and completely unacceptable. I don't think he's a monster, but he can't control himself and he needs to go for the safety of the others.
Jeremy comes out the bathroom going 'Elvis has left the building.' Nearly. Calum seemed to think it was OK.
'Curiosity killed the cat!' WTF. That's not much justification.
Perez and Michelle were the only ones right in that situation. 'Not OK' are the right words. Horrible to have that happen to you. Then she goes 'I know I've done page 3.' Poor thing, she's victim blaming herself. That is how deep rape culture is. She was trying to help him and he basically attacked her and she blamed herself. That's how it is to be a woman. Itt really is.
And now Jeremy is on the couch, getting affirmation from known pervert and racist Ken. 'I grabbed the tip of her robe to see.' To see what?! Her boobs without permission!?
Katie accusing Perez of 'whipping it up.' Perez has had a problem with Jeremy from day one, but with due cause, I guess,but still I question Perez motives. Just because one person is in the wrong, doesn't meant the people rallying round are in the right.
'Out of innocence. Out of curiosity.' Innocence! Funny choice of words. 'Emotionally wounded.' There's the door, Jeremy, get out. So they didn't kick him out straight away! Interesting.I wonder why. Consulting the lawyers?
Ken: 'Jeremy is a Jewish film producer from New York.' What the fuck is that meant to mean! He's obsessed with race and religion. Get him out! Ken has got to go. 'Violent fuck'? WTF. OMG what is going on with Ken and Perez in the loo! 'Disgusting misogynistic homophobic pig' is right. Calum is a tittering fencesitter. Nadia is also loving all of this, she's in her element.
So last night, Ken commented on race, Jewishness, sluts. Even when he got a warning he couldn't give a shit.
Now Jeremy's getting da boot. RIP. He did have the potential to be brilliant. Perhaps if he's stopped drinking. Maybe this will be the kick up the arse he needs to go to rehab. I hope so.
Friday, 9 January 2015
Celebrity Big Brother 2015: Sneaker gimps
Hi all! So it's live nominations tonight, let's hope they don't 'do a Heather' and they keep it running to time. Also, no cheating please.
Piss wars have already begun, I see. Still, better than scat wars.
No shower tray to put your bits on?! Not very celeb.
Michelle is 'so offended by the words Katie speaks.' She hasn't said anything yet. I hate the way they all know too much about each other before they go in. Perez virtually had their biographies tattooed on his body like that hottie in Prison Break.
Kavana knows Mel B, ha. I bet she doesn't know him.
Reg Holdsworth and Cheggers alliance coming up; old codgers alliance. LOL to Cheggers refusing to be on Fat Club. Like they'd call a show 'Celebrity Health.' They probably sold The Undateables as Lovely People's Last Chance at Love.
Nadia isn't fat, so why is she saying she is? Stupid woman. Of course no one would attack Katie in the street, you'd be too scared of her. I like the way Katie isn't backing down in the face of Nadia's quizzing of her. SAY IT TO YOUR FACE. Check.
Michelle is giving Perez some grief for not messaging her. IM? What century is this? Why is he sitting on the kitchen counter? Unclean.
Jeremy: antibacterial toilet wipe bankroll. I like the face he called Nadia out for 'whining and complaining'. Nadia is annoying.
Katie don't like almond milk? I thought she liked healthy people. It's almond milk or cokeheads, take your pick. She doesn't like Patsy because she's a nervous wreck. Bit mean.
Michelle is looking suspicious about the foot massage. I couldn't physically touch someone else's feet. Anything to do with feet, I want no part of it.
So, the task is over. Katie should just come out the DR and put everyone on full-scale blast.
Perez is such a little know it all! He's like teacher's pet. Knowing the dates people went out with people (ie. Calum and Lindsay is just plain creepy.) I liked Michelle's chat with Calum and the camera work, too. Not sure about 'husbanded', though.
I'm not commenting on all Red Holdsworth's actressing because it's what he wants. Airtime hog!
I feel sorry for Alicia. She's a sad person. Still rather be her than Katie, though.
Kirk Norcross, ugh. This girl looks way too nice for him. I mean, she seems a cunt, but she's too good looking for him. Remember when he was sexually harrassing that Georgia girl?
Jeremy: 'We're all on the same plane, going down.'
Uh oh, the Patsy Kensit marriage files, we may be here for some time. Katie being a cunt about it, ha. What a wrong 'un.
Katie Hopkins crying cos she loves her husband, haha. While wearing a Dappy hat. Also, why isn't she putting everyone on blast?! Fail.
Perez is impertinent asking Calum questions about his dead dad. That's very personal. Calum: 'He gave it a go.' Yeah, on someone else's liver.
OMG Jeremy is doing Cornholio impressions! YES! Nadia thinks he's mentally ill but he just needs TP for his bunghole. Uhuhuhuhuh. Bring back Beavis and Butthead.
Cami is hating on Calum's trainers. Is she 12? LOL. Petty but funny. His clothes are 'sick'. Is this the 90s?
Haha now Chloe is saying Calum is 12. Cami started it. I'm telling, etc. I don't mind Chloe, she seems alright.
This code is pretty crap, 'my sister' equals 'my boyfriend.' Calum, don't bring your mum into it. You've taken it too far!
Ok, here's the face to face noms. Buckle up.
Michelle: Nominated Ken for wanting to go home. Isn't she meant to nominate two?
Perez: Ken. Sheep vote.
Katie: Perez. She wants to be the biggest cunt in the house.
Nadia: Katie. 'We're polar opposites.' You're both annoying as fuck.
Cami: Ken. Ken is ruining these nominations.
Jeremy: Pasty for having 'some auto immune stuff.' Best one yet. Tribe talk! Patsy said thanks. He's right, she's a weak player.
Chloe: Ken. I want to know what fine line he's been treading. Sexism, no doubt.
Calum: Ken. Ken is Reg Holdsworth, btw.
Kavana; Ken.
Ken looks lived, ha. He nominated Cami because 'she bit him'. Footage, please.
Alicia: Calum. Cos she got off with him, ha. 'Least likely to go up' my arse.
Pasty: Bathroom gate. Tell us more! Ooh, Ken is having a go at her. I'm glad she gave it back to him.
Alexander: Perez. 'I think he's a total control freak.' LOL. Say how you really feel.
Keith: Perez for sitting on the counter. Damn right! Counter attack!
No one has nominated Jeremy! Sweet.
A Tuesday eviction. Interesting. Oh, the only people they've put up are Alexander, Chloe and Ken. They only put up the people who has one vote when it suits them.
They're not arguing so I'm going to wrap my blog up here. Perez killed it by saying 'they're not allowed to talk about it.' WTF? Idiot.
Sorry if you were waiting for our podcast the other night, our computer decided to eat it. We're going to try again tonight but I've learned my lesson not to promise! Also, thanks to everyone who said nice things about my blog. I appreciate it. Night.
Piss wars have already begun, I see. Still, better than scat wars.
No shower tray to put your bits on?! Not very celeb.
Michelle is 'so offended by the words Katie speaks.' She hasn't said anything yet. I hate the way they all know too much about each other before they go in. Perez virtually had their biographies tattooed on his body like that hottie in Prison Break.
Kavana knows Mel B, ha. I bet she doesn't know him.
Reg Holdsworth and Cheggers alliance coming up; old codgers alliance. LOL to Cheggers refusing to be on Fat Club. Like they'd call a show 'Celebrity Health.' They probably sold The Undateables as Lovely People's Last Chance at Love.
Nadia isn't fat, so why is she saying she is? Stupid woman. Of course no one would attack Katie in the street, you'd be too scared of her. I like the way Katie isn't backing down in the face of Nadia's quizzing of her. SAY IT TO YOUR FACE. Check.
Michelle is giving Perez some grief for not messaging her. IM? What century is this? Why is he sitting on the kitchen counter? Unclean.
Jeremy: antibacterial toilet wipe bankroll. I like the face he called Nadia out for 'whining and complaining'. Nadia is annoying.
Katie don't like almond milk? I thought she liked healthy people. It's almond milk or cokeheads, take your pick. She doesn't like Patsy because she's a nervous wreck. Bit mean.
Michelle is looking suspicious about the foot massage. I couldn't physically touch someone else's feet. Anything to do with feet, I want no part of it.
So, the task is over. Katie should just come out the DR and put everyone on full-scale blast.
Perez is such a little know it all! He's like teacher's pet. Knowing the dates people went out with people (ie. Calum and Lindsay is just plain creepy.) I liked Michelle's chat with Calum and the camera work, too. Not sure about 'husbanded', though.
I'm not commenting on all Red Holdsworth's actressing because it's what he wants. Airtime hog!
I feel sorry for Alicia. She's a sad person. Still rather be her than Katie, though.
Kirk Norcross, ugh. This girl looks way too nice for him. I mean, she seems a cunt, but she's too good looking for him. Remember when he was sexually harrassing that Georgia girl?
Jeremy: 'We're all on the same plane, going down.'
Uh oh, the Patsy Kensit marriage files, we may be here for some time. Katie being a cunt about it, ha. What a wrong 'un.
Katie Hopkins crying cos she loves her husband, haha. While wearing a Dappy hat. Also, why isn't she putting everyone on blast?! Fail.
Perez is impertinent asking Calum questions about his dead dad. That's very personal. Calum: 'He gave it a go.' Yeah, on someone else's liver.
OMG Jeremy is doing Cornholio impressions! YES! Nadia thinks he's mentally ill but he just needs TP for his bunghole. Uhuhuhuhuh. Bring back Beavis and Butthead.
Cami is hating on Calum's trainers. Is she 12? LOL. Petty but funny. His clothes are 'sick'. Is this the 90s?
Haha now Chloe is saying Calum is 12. Cami started it. I'm telling, etc. I don't mind Chloe, she seems alright.
This code is pretty crap, 'my sister' equals 'my boyfriend.' Calum, don't bring your mum into it. You've taken it too far!
Ok, here's the face to face noms. Buckle up.
Michelle: Nominated Ken for wanting to go home. Isn't she meant to nominate two?
Perez: Ken. Sheep vote.
Katie: Perez. She wants to be the biggest cunt in the house.
Nadia: Katie. 'We're polar opposites.' You're both annoying as fuck.
Cami: Ken. Ken is ruining these nominations.
Jeremy: Pasty for having 'some auto immune stuff.' Best one yet. Tribe talk! Patsy said thanks. He's right, she's a weak player.
Chloe: Ken. I want to know what fine line he's been treading. Sexism, no doubt.
Calum: Ken. Ken is Reg Holdsworth, btw.
Kavana; Ken.
Ken looks lived, ha. He nominated Cami because 'she bit him'. Footage, please.
Alicia: Calum. Cos she got off with him, ha. 'Least likely to go up' my arse.
Pasty: Bathroom gate. Tell us more! Ooh, Ken is having a go at her. I'm glad she gave it back to him.
Alexander: Perez. 'I think he's a total control freak.' LOL. Say how you really feel.
Keith: Perez for sitting on the counter. Damn right! Counter attack!
No one has nominated Jeremy! Sweet.
A Tuesday eviction. Interesting. Oh, the only people they've put up are Alexander, Chloe and Ken. They only put up the people who has one vote when it suits them.
They're not arguing so I'm going to wrap my blog up here. Perez killed it by saying 'they're not allowed to talk about it.' WTF? Idiot.
Sorry if you were waiting for our podcast the other night, our computer decided to eat it. We're going to try again tonight but I've learned my lesson not to promise! Also, thanks to everyone who said nice things about my blog. I appreciate it. Night.
Wednesday, 7 January 2015
Celebrity Big Brother 2015: Launch show
Happy new year! (Too late?) EVERYONE seems to be excited about Big Brother this year. People who never talk about Big Brother are jumping on the bandwagon. Even Big Brother himself seems to be advertising it properly. What gives? Are they actually going to give us a decent show? Don't count on it.
I am loving Emma's hair atm. It looks really good. Shame about the husband.
First up, rent a cunty comment, Katie Hopkins. What task they gonna give her? I know, be nice to everyone. They're gonna give her a pass to final, lol. OMG they are playing Celebrity Skin! Jokes! Courtney should sue. People are heckling the old trout. She actually looks good, well as good as she can look.
The house looks plush. I rather like it! Nothing worse than an eco house.
Haunted Mirror! Aint no tree of temptation. She wasn't even funny. What, Katie's got to be nasty to people?! That's not hard. Oh, she's got to put the two least entertaining people up. At least she hopefully will put up deadwood. I think she'll be good value once she stops actressing, but that will take a while.
Fuck me, I can believe Patsy Kensit needs the cash. Is Liam Gallagher not paying his maintenance? They must have paid through the nose for her *cocaine joke*. I like Patsy Kensit. Why is she limping down the stairs? She looks good, too.
I'm surprised Perez Hilton needs the money, too. He looks a LOT better than he used to. He used to look like crap. His website is shit. All he does is doodle on things and not even amusingly. We're betting they're going to give them a doodling task. I liked the way he stroked that bears belly when he went in. 'First two in, last two out.' Alliance talk! Love the Americans.
Fuck me, Reg Holdsworth! He's worse than Biggins. His wife?! He's pretty camp. Soap people don't do well in CBB. His real name is Ken, not that we'll be calling him that. See the way he looked Patsy up and down! Groo!
Katie Hopkins is in the CGI chamber, but they can't afford the CGI. She don't like Perez cos it's a competition for rent-a-gob.
Next in is a tattoo model who was engaged to Kirk Norcross?! UGH. Gross. He's one of my most hated people of all time. She's American so that gives me hope. She's like Jasmine from last year. Woah, look at her boobs. Impressive. Camili! What sort of name is that? Her first words on entering the Big Brother house were 'I shit myself.' Well, it's one up on Charlotte Crosby, innit?
I used to have a picture of Calum Best on my wall when he was about 20 and had long hair. He looks like he's had a hair transplant. He's got a spud face now. Love Island was classic. Bring back Paul Danan. 'What a process, what a procedure.' Is he describing his hair transplant?
Alicia Duvall should be good value. I'm fed up with this plastic surgery chat, though. What's she getting booed for?! She's deaf and went the wrong way, so essentially the new Gary Busey.
Ugh, Reg Holdsworth is a proper perv! He's sizing up all the women! Gross.
I do remember this Alexander O Neil song. He's going to be the one not knowing what's going on and sacking his agent. Referring to himself in the third person, check. His suit looks like it's from Debra. It's all creased up!
CBB house needs a stairlift. Too many OAPs. Patsy Kensit is waiting to go bed, poor sod. Three Americans!
This live link to Katie Hopkins is working well, lol. Techno-fail. Can't believe Emma doesn't even mention it! Tragic.
Katie Hopkins is nicking my material.
Oh no, Nadia Sawalaha is so boring. Oh, she's going to be the cooking dictator. Ha, she likes talking to people while she's brushing her teeth. That's perfect for Big Brother. Discussing strategy while brushing your teeth is the best move.
Jeremy is best known for playing David Hasslehoff's son in Baywatch. So not known then. He looks like Adam Levine. Lovely faux fur jacket! Nice hat! We've never had so many Americans in the house! Takeover.
What's Ashleeeeeen doing in the audience? Is Mike Tyson going in?
I think Katie Hopkins is drunk. She's not very funny when someone's not writing her tweets for her.
Kavana is going to be a car crash. Look at his sweaty head. Ecstasy chat, shame. He's got Kevin Webster's jacket on.
Next in is Michelle Visage. I don't know who any of these people are. I appreciate the lack of Towies, but it's actually too many Americans now. Is that Americanist?
This Katie Hopkins 'twist' is falling flat. The Kavana being 53 thing is the funniest thing she said. I'm not impressed with this line up. It started off strong and went downhill at Reg Holdsworth. I'm seeing other people saying it's good though, so I'll give it a chance.
Oh, I thought we were off the hook with the reality people but apparently not. Next in is Chloe from Ex on the Beach (me neither) sitting in a tumble dryer. She 'hates boring people'. I love 'em. This is the MTV people they're shoehorning in. Beavis or Butthead would be preferable.
Fuck me, do we need Reg Holdsworth AND Keith Chegwin! Naked jungle. The new Les Dennis. James just said 'this is an insult'. I can't disagree.
So that's it. What a mess. So Katie is putting up two people Survivor stylee. Well, she's got enough deadwood to choose from.
Did Katie just say the DR chair looked cheap? LOL. Ha, I guessed they'd make her be nice to people. Of course she's going to be nice to people at first, anyway.
Ha, she's threatening a rulebreak! Mutiny! She's anti-American. I think she just wants to race hate on someone.
I swear Alexander just looked Katie Hopkins up and down. It takes all sorts!
Housemates ignoring Big Brother. Jeremy's red jeans/ red shoes combo is amazing. I think I'm going to like watching him.
Sit your arses down, motherfuckers! Jeremy can't understand Scottish Big Brother.
So Katie put Alexander and Chloe up. Good! They are the boringist, ha! No doubt they're gonna stick another ten people on the block before Friday.
So that's it. The show was half an hour and about four housemates too long. Jeremy is my fave so far! But the smart money is a tenner on Katie Hopkins. As long as it's vote to save. Podcast up later! Cheers!
I am loving Emma's hair atm. It looks really good. Shame about the husband.
First up, rent a cunty comment, Katie Hopkins. What task they gonna give her? I know, be nice to everyone. They're gonna give her a pass to final, lol. OMG they are playing Celebrity Skin! Jokes! Courtney should sue. People are heckling the old trout. She actually looks good, well as good as she can look.
The house looks plush. I rather like it! Nothing worse than an eco house.
Haunted Mirror! Aint no tree of temptation. She wasn't even funny. What, Katie's got to be nasty to people?! That's not hard. Oh, she's got to put the two least entertaining people up. At least she hopefully will put up deadwood. I think she'll be good value once she stops actressing, but that will take a while.
Fuck me, I can believe Patsy Kensit needs the cash. Is Liam Gallagher not paying his maintenance? They must have paid through the nose for her *cocaine joke*. I like Patsy Kensit. Why is she limping down the stairs? She looks good, too.
I'm surprised Perez Hilton needs the money, too. He looks a LOT better than he used to. He used to look like crap. His website is shit. All he does is doodle on things and not even amusingly. We're betting they're going to give them a doodling task. I liked the way he stroked that bears belly when he went in. 'First two in, last two out.' Alliance talk! Love the Americans.
Fuck me, Reg Holdsworth! He's worse than Biggins. His wife?! He's pretty camp. Soap people don't do well in CBB. His real name is Ken, not that we'll be calling him that. See the way he looked Patsy up and down! Groo!
Katie Hopkins is in the CGI chamber, but they can't afford the CGI. She don't like Perez cos it's a competition for rent-a-gob.
Next in is a tattoo model who was engaged to Kirk Norcross?! UGH. Gross. He's one of my most hated people of all time. She's American so that gives me hope. She's like Jasmine from last year. Woah, look at her boobs. Impressive. Camili! What sort of name is that? Her first words on entering the Big Brother house were 'I shit myself.' Well, it's one up on Charlotte Crosby, innit?
I used to have a picture of Calum Best on my wall when he was about 20 and had long hair. He looks like he's had a hair transplant. He's got a spud face now. Love Island was classic. Bring back Paul Danan. 'What a process, what a procedure.' Is he describing his hair transplant?
Alicia Duvall should be good value. I'm fed up with this plastic surgery chat, though. What's she getting booed for?! She's deaf and went the wrong way, so essentially the new Gary Busey.
Ugh, Reg Holdsworth is a proper perv! He's sizing up all the women! Gross.
I do remember this Alexander O Neil song. He's going to be the one not knowing what's going on and sacking his agent. Referring to himself in the third person, check. His suit looks like it's from Debra. It's all creased up!
CBB house needs a stairlift. Too many OAPs. Patsy Kensit is waiting to go bed, poor sod. Three Americans!
This live link to Katie Hopkins is working well, lol. Techno-fail. Can't believe Emma doesn't even mention it! Tragic.
Katie Hopkins is nicking my material.
Oh no, Nadia Sawalaha is so boring. Oh, she's going to be the cooking dictator. Ha, she likes talking to people while she's brushing her teeth. That's perfect for Big Brother. Discussing strategy while brushing your teeth is the best move.
Jeremy is best known for playing David Hasslehoff's son in Baywatch. So not known then. He looks like Adam Levine. Lovely faux fur jacket! Nice hat! We've never had so many Americans in the house! Takeover.
What's Ashleeeeeen doing in the audience? Is Mike Tyson going in?
I think Katie Hopkins is drunk. She's not very funny when someone's not writing her tweets for her.
Kavana is going to be a car crash. Look at his sweaty head. Ecstasy chat, shame. He's got Kevin Webster's jacket on.
Next in is Michelle Visage. I don't know who any of these people are. I appreciate the lack of Towies, but it's actually too many Americans now. Is that Americanist?
This Katie Hopkins 'twist' is falling flat. The Kavana being 53 thing is the funniest thing she said. I'm not impressed with this line up. It started off strong and went downhill at Reg Holdsworth. I'm seeing other people saying it's good though, so I'll give it a chance.
Oh, I thought we were off the hook with the reality people but apparently not. Next in is Chloe from Ex on the Beach (me neither) sitting in a tumble dryer. She 'hates boring people'. I love 'em. This is the MTV people they're shoehorning in. Beavis or Butthead would be preferable.
Fuck me, do we need Reg Holdsworth AND Keith Chegwin! Naked jungle. The new Les Dennis. James just said 'this is an insult'. I can't disagree.
So that's it. What a mess. So Katie is putting up two people Survivor stylee. Well, she's got enough deadwood to choose from.
Did Katie just say the DR chair looked cheap? LOL. Ha, I guessed they'd make her be nice to people. Of course she's going to be nice to people at first, anyway.
Ha, she's threatening a rulebreak! Mutiny! She's anti-American. I think she just wants to race hate on someone.
I swear Alexander just looked Katie Hopkins up and down. It takes all sorts!
Housemates ignoring Big Brother. Jeremy's red jeans/ red shoes combo is amazing. I think I'm going to like watching him.
Sit your arses down, motherfuckers! Jeremy can't understand Scottish Big Brother.
So Katie put Alexander and Chloe up. Good! They are the boringist, ha! No doubt they're gonna stick another ten people on the block before Friday.
So that's it. The show was half an hour and about four housemates too long. Jeremy is my fave so far! But the smart money is a tenner on Katie Hopkins. As long as it's vote to save. Podcast up later! Cheers!
Tuesday, 22 January 2008
Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack (Down a Primrose Path)
I didn't bother blogging it yesterday cos no one's reading it and the celebrity hijackers were those nobodies from Big Mouth who looked like it was Christmas Day because they got to follow in the hallowed footsteps of Nikki and Michelle Bass. Frankly, I was embarrassed.
I liked Mackenzie Crook's geek task, but I think it points towards ME being a geek. I know, it's shocking. I liked their geek jumpers, I wear my hair in pigtails on occasion, I don't like talking in public, and more importantly, I have made a fantastic rubber band ball at work. You don't need to start off with a ball in the middle, that's for losers. In fact, you just tie the elastic bands together initially and keep wrapping round and the ball forms itself. Er... yes, I'm definitely a geek. I thought Jeremy did the best. He is quite a good sport when he's not being a bully.
I was annoyed with them all thinking John's a mole, which I think was mainly stoked up by Emilia. I felt sorry for John. The group is well and truly fragmented now.
Emilia and Latoya were up for nomination.
Latoya thinks the public want 'pacific' people to stay. I specifically want her to go for being a dumbass and a dullard.
Calista to Anthony: 'I can't wait for you to see my bedroom.' She may as well have said 'I can't wait to have kids.'
Jeremy is so pathetic with his 'don't question my intelligence' bullshit. Jeremy: you're THICK. You're immature. You're childish, you have no clue how to deal with women. I pity you.
Jeremy: 'don't belittle me in front of the public'. Christ, he'll be be calling us his people next. Just get it on already.
I liked Mackenzie Crook's geek task, but I think it points towards ME being a geek. I know, it's shocking. I liked their geek jumpers, I wear my hair in pigtails on occasion, I don't like talking in public, and more importantly, I have made a fantastic rubber band ball at work. You don't need to start off with a ball in the middle, that's for losers. In fact, you just tie the elastic bands together initially and keep wrapping round and the ball forms itself. Er... yes, I'm definitely a geek. I thought Jeremy did the best. He is quite a good sport when he's not being a bully.
I was annoyed with them all thinking John's a mole, which I think was mainly stoked up by Emilia. I felt sorry for John. The group is well and truly fragmented now.
Emilia and Latoya were up for nomination.
Latoya thinks the public want 'pacific' people to stay. I specifically want her to go for being a dumbass and a dullard.
Calista to Anthony: 'I can't wait for you to see my bedroom.' She may as well have said 'I can't wait to have kids.'
Jeremy is so pathetic with his 'don't question my intelligence' bullshit. Jeremy: you're THICK. You're immature. You're childish, you have no clue how to deal with women. I pity you.
Jeremy: 'don't belittle me in front of the public'. Christ, he'll be be calling us his people next. Just get it on already.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack (Mamma's Watching!)
What a weird BB tonight. Joan Rivers was funny but didn't make enough of an impact for me. I was not impressed with her nominations either. I'd gladly see the back of Jay, Calista, Latoya or Nathan. Out of the four who are up, I'd like to see Jeremy('s spoken!) and Victor go. Jeremy gives me the creeps and Victor, well...
The whole fake fight thing was bizarre. Latoya doesn't speak for a week and a half and then does an award-winning eppy. It was far too realistic! Even so, I have no clue what Victor got so upset about. So what they were mucking about. I can't STAND guys who start punching the walls. I think he should be thrown out for it, as it's very intimidating. I was glad to see him cry. It annoyed me when they kicked Latoya out of the bathroom because precious Victor was getting his knickers in a twist. Get over it, you big baby.
It was weird how the whole group dynamics disintegrated after that. I was unimpressed with Nathan hiding in the hot tub offering his usual platitudes. I've not seen so much fence-sitting since H from Steps was in the house. Trying to please the public so much just makes them want to punch you. Even Anthony wanted to put him up for nomination, so something must be slightly amiss. It's too much about public image. Anthony seems a lot more willing to show his emotions. Calista is just annoying me now, I had high hopes for her at first too.
And then we had John going into politician mode so blatantly it made me despise him. He was like a creepy cult leader on a recruiting drive. Just be normal, John! It's all rhetoric. My opinions about them are really changing on a daily basis now. I still like Liam though. He's creepy as well, but interesting.
PS. Can Amy ever be spotted not munching on a bit of food? Fair enough it's normally healthy but christ! There can't be anything left for the others.
The whole fake fight thing was bizarre. Latoya doesn't speak for a week and a half and then does an award-winning eppy. It was far too realistic! Even so, I have no clue what Victor got so upset about. So what they were mucking about. I can't STAND guys who start punching the walls. I think he should be thrown out for it, as it's very intimidating. I was glad to see him cry. It annoyed me when they kicked Latoya out of the bathroom because precious Victor was getting his knickers in a twist. Get over it, you big baby.
It was weird how the whole group dynamics disintegrated after that. I was unimpressed with Nathan hiding in the hot tub offering his usual platitudes. I've not seen so much fence-sitting since H from Steps was in the house. Trying to please the public so much just makes them want to punch you. Even Anthony wanted to put him up for nomination, so something must be slightly amiss. It's too much about public image. Anthony seems a lot more willing to show his emotions. Calista is just annoying me now, I had high hopes for her at first too.
And then we had John going into politician mode so blatantly it made me despise him. He was like a creepy cult leader on a recruiting drive. Just be normal, John! It's all rhetoric. My opinions about them are really changing on a daily basis now. I still like Liam though. He's creepy as well, but interesting.
PS. Can Amy ever be spotted not munching on a bit of food? Fair enough it's normally healthy but christ! There can't be anything left for the others.
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack (Nailing Birds)
I have to make this very brief as I had steroids injected in my wrist and can only type with one hand (and my boss said she'd sack me if she caught me blogging tonight!)
But I had to pass comment on Russell Brand's Hijack. I thought it was brilliant. I loved the fact he was evil and tormented Jeremy (who's comment about nailing birds made him my definite pick to go this week). I liked his abuse of power flirting with the girls (them competing for him was funny). And I especially liked him convincing Jay that his dress code had been decided by a focus group and Tim Burton. HOW thick?! Pure genius.
The cameraman stunt was OBVIOUSLY fake. I found it funny, especially when Russell came in. I liked Latoya giving the cmeraman a hug, and John trying to placate him. Why did all the other housemates turn on John? It was proper Lord of the Flies. I felt sorry for him, but it wasn't Russell's fault, it was the sheeplike housemates. It was quite interesting that Jade was one of the only housemates to spot it was a ruse.
Award for murdering feminism: Emilia saying 'who am I going to cook and clean for?' to Victor and Jeremy.
Russell- why no Moz posters in the 'ouse? Also- has Liam got a sock shoved down his pants?
But I had to pass comment on Russell Brand's Hijack. I thought it was brilliant. I loved the fact he was evil and tormented Jeremy (who's comment about nailing birds made him my definite pick to go this week). I liked his abuse of power flirting with the girls (them competing for him was funny). And I especially liked him convincing Jay that his dress code had been decided by a focus group and Tim Burton. HOW thick?! Pure genius.
The cameraman stunt was OBVIOUSLY fake. I found it funny, especially when Russell came in. I liked Latoya giving the cmeraman a hug, and John trying to placate him. Why did all the other housemates turn on John? It was proper Lord of the Flies. I felt sorry for him, but it wasn't Russell's fault, it was the sheeplike housemates. It was quite interesting that Jade was one of the only housemates to spot it was a ruse.
Award for murdering feminism: Emilia saying 'who am I going to cook and clean for?' to Victor and Jeremy.
Russell- why no Moz posters in the 'ouse? Also- has Liam got a sock shoved down his pants?
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack (Fucking Mosh!)
I loved Kelly Osbourne being the celebrity hijacker, I have a soft spot for her. I think she's really cute! She is definitely her mother's daughter. I enjoyed the bitchy banter between Victor, Jeremy and Amy as the start of the show, but didn't enjoy Victor ordering his sister to make him a cup of tea. Men do that if you let them though.
I liked the fact little Ozzy was in charge of the nominations too. I liked the fact she said that nomination reason wasn't good enough, and that Victor was a twat. But Victor wasn't actually a twat, he was just feeling institutionalised. Bless.
I think the normal Big Brother should say more things like 'stop flirting' or 'if you don't make that tea right now you're up for nomination'. It's much more fun than the normal stuff. Like if Jade Goody had been abusing Shilpa Shetty Big Brother could have just shouted over the loudspeaker: 'Oh put a sock in it, you fucking munter!' and the situation would have been dealt with. This is the way forward, I feel.
I loved the reasons Amy nominated Emilia: 'because she's fit, she's beautiful and I'm jealous.' Perfect! That's the most honest nomination I've ever heard. More of that candidness needed. I think I like Amy, she's just in with a bad crowd.
What does Emilia see in Jeremy anyway? Anthony and Nathan are a million times nicer. Jeremy looks like a pasty-faced middle-aged man. He's not very nice to her. He's not sexy. That 'treat them mean, keep them keen' thing doesn't actually, work does it? I'm still feeling a bit sorry for Liam. How did he get 50 sexual partners?! It's just not conceivable. Bless him, making up stories for the telly. I bet his gran's loving it.
Anyway, it looks like we'll be seeing the back of Victor now, or silly Jade, as he, she and Jeremy are up for nomination. I think Victor has more to offer. Jade believes in happily ever after. Did she not see what happened to Chantelle?
I enjoyed the goth party, but why was Anthony wearing a nappy? Did I miss a module at Goth school? They won't have me back, you know.
I liked the fact little Ozzy was in charge of the nominations too. I liked the fact she said that nomination reason wasn't good enough, and that Victor was a twat. But Victor wasn't actually a twat, he was just feeling institutionalised. Bless.
I think the normal Big Brother should say more things like 'stop flirting' or 'if you don't make that tea right now you're up for nomination'. It's much more fun than the normal stuff. Like if Jade Goody had been abusing Shilpa Shetty Big Brother could have just shouted over the loudspeaker: 'Oh put a sock in it, you fucking munter!' and the situation would have been dealt with. This is the way forward, I feel.
I loved the reasons Amy nominated Emilia: 'because she's fit, she's beautiful and I'm jealous.' Perfect! That's the most honest nomination I've ever heard. More of that candidness needed. I think I like Amy, she's just in with a bad crowd.
What does Emilia see in Jeremy anyway? Anthony and Nathan are a million times nicer. Jeremy looks like a pasty-faced middle-aged man. He's not very nice to her. He's not sexy. That 'treat them mean, keep them keen' thing doesn't actually, work does it? I'm still feeling a bit sorry for Liam. How did he get 50 sexual partners?! It's just not conceivable. Bless him, making up stories for the telly. I bet his gran's loving it.
Anyway, it looks like we'll be seeing the back of Victor now, or silly Jade, as he, she and Jeremy are up for nomination. I think Victor has more to offer. Jade believes in happily ever after. Did she not see what happened to Chantelle?
I enjoyed the goth party, but why was Anthony wearing a nappy? Did I miss a module at Goth school? They won't have me back, you know.
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