Monday, 25 January 2016

Celebrity Big Brother 2016: The masturbate ball

The show started off slow tonight but then built up to a great climax... ahem. Apologies in advance, there's more jokes like that to come.
So Stephanie wins a facial and massage with the water being off but says no... then yes. So she's selfish, but not as selfish as GC, who didn't think twice.
So Gemma is worried she's 35 and people will think she's weird cos she;s not got kids. No they think you're weird because you're horrible. They understand why you've not got kids because no one in their right mind would sleep with you. I'm 35 and I'd rather die than have kids. John is right, if you really want kids, you go and do it. People who wait for their eggs to dry up need to get on it at our age, and not leave it too late, if that's what they want.
GC s doing reiki on Dal: 'You've got to picture a toilet going out of your colon.' Say what? 'Send love to your colon and imagine poo going down'. Er, or just use the loo like a normal person. The Darren goes for a shit and Gemma walks in on him. CONVENIENT. Big Brother is obsessed with scat.
Scotty T and Christopher moralising about Steremy. Ugh. Mind your own business. Jeremy: 'I can't help the way I feel about her.' Just leave the man alone. I never realised men like him actually talked about women in a nice way. I thought they were more like Scotty T: animals.
Jeremy kissing Stephanie's neck in bed, while Scotty looks down his nose like Norris off Corrie. Stephanie has got a strong eyebrow game. Not so good at managing her personal space.
Tiffany is waiting for someone to cross her so she can start a fight. 'I came here to fight cos that's what I like doing.' I hear you. 'No one is giving me beef.' Imagine Christopher or Darren in the DR saying this stuff.
Steph is worried Sam's not going to be there when she gets out. Steph, come on, now. 'Everything was perfect before this.' Well you're the one who fucked it up. Take some responsibility. The 'house' didn't do it.
I like the fact they're making them do a task which involves some level of skill, even though it's a puking task. They have to drink gross things and guess the ingredients.
I thought it was rigged cos Americans don't eat spam but then I got told on Twitter they invented it or something. Whatever, it's gross.
What's the point in holding your nose when you drink it cos then you can't taste the ingredients?
Tiffany is not happy. I couldn't drink that either.
So Darren is the last person immune. I'd say that's curtains for Danniella or Maloney on Tues. Or could Scotty T go? I always hear he could win it, but why? What's he actually done of any interest?
Ha, so the immune housemates get to uninvite people from the party. Gemma uninvited Chris, Steph did Tiffany and Darren uninvited Danniella. The alienation of Tiffany continues unabated. At least Gemma is trying to include her.
At least they gave the housemates they excluded from the party a drink, and a good job too, or the rest of the episode would have been a wrap. Tiffany is drinking a bottle of prosecco to herself, so she's going to get shitfaced. I've been there.
Danniella, 'Tiffany should just gatecrash the party.' A good plan (especially with Big Brother's complete lack of discipline) but Tiffany has come up with a better one, and is busy frigging herself off drunk in the toilet. Fair play! That will chill her out a bit. Good on her, she is so unapologetically her. I love it. I liked her face when walked out of the loo. I thought I hadn't seen a female housemate masturbate since Sam in the box, but someone reminded me about Kinga. I can't remember who came first now. Boom boom! (sorry)
Female masturbation is something so ignored that it's great to see it even MENTIONED now and again, let alone carried out, if only by implication.
Sexual antics warning coming up, AFTER Tiffany has wanked off. Ha. I suppose that was behind a toilet door.
What the fuck are John and GC doing in the loo? Ho come GC is being bearable tonight? It's awful! I live to hate her. I love the fact she's had no airtime though. She was becoming unwatchable.
I'm glad the boys are including Tiffany now. Those masks give the whole show a bit of an orgy vibe.
Truth or dare! Now Tiffany is finally enjoying herself! A bottle of prosecco, a wank and two snogs (well, four). That's a decent night by anyone's standards. And good for Jeremy - a great mindgame to play on Steph. Let's see how she likes the tables being turned.
Tiffany thinks Scotty would be great at 'eating pussy.' She said 'Jez is a cheeseburger but Scotty's the Big Mac.' Zing! Nice to see them let their hair (and their pants) down.
OMG! Tiffany asked Darren Day if he'd fantasised about cheating on his wife. She's kicking it up a notch! He paused for WAY too long, then said he 'swore on his kids lives he hadn't.' You're allowed to fantasise, Darren. So you're telling me he doesn't look at porn? He's trying too hard to be squeaky clean. I'm not buying it. I prefer Tiffany just being like 'RARRGHHHHH!'
I'm not sure why John is saying 'pull my nightie down when you've finished' or even who to, but it's freaking me out.
I love Scotty T motorboating and snogging Tiffany. Megan who? She must be SEETHING.
Jeremy and Scotty crawling round at Tiffany's feet and her giggling. This is more like it! The mantub could become the gangbang tub!
Tiffany and Scotty in the shower was gold. Tiffany would definitely fuck him. Dear God, her looking at Scotty's dick in the shower, did she grab it, too?! 'It's BIG! That shit would blow my back out. I want to bite it.' OMG! I am speechless. I think Megan's TV just went over.
Uh oh, Jeremy confessing to Stephanie he kissed Tiffany. This is not gonna go well. Fuck this Jeremy and Steph shit, let's see Tiffany and Scotty, at least they're enjoying themselves.
Stephanie: 'I'm nothing to you anyway, we're just pals, you can do what you like.' OK then. Why have you got a face like a slapped arse then? Jeremy is playing her a good 'un.
Jeremy: 'You're allowed to play me like a fool when you've got a boyfriend and I'm not allowed to have a game with the lads.'
Steph: 'I've put so much on the line for you then the one time I'm ill you neck off with someone else.' What is this 'necking off'? She sounds like Austin from #bb17. So is she admitting she's dumped her boyfriend? No, she's STILL hedging her bets!
Jeremy is drunk and getting a bit bolshy. He's annoyed that she wants to marry her boyfriend. He's right though, it is one rule for her and another for him. I think he's right to try and force her hand. Which brings us back to Tiffany... hopefully the winner of CBB 2016. Fingers crossed Danniella will go tomorrow, if not, I'll happily say goodbye to Chris or even Scotty. Hopefully they won't spring any twist crap on us. And aren't more people going in? This could be interesting/shit. Watch this space.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome!

Arif Ramzan said...

Shock horror GEMMA & Danniella didn't walk out the fire exit .LoL
Give it today (Tuesday) before Gemma does or says things to get her back in the limlelight.
Spoilt little brat Stephanie is . As Jeremy is allowed to have fun with others as she's been doing so with him while she has a boyfriend or maybe not now .
It would be funny to find out after that Steph and Sam faked what could happen in house with another housemate . It will not end well for some . I'm wandering why didn't Steph be in a open relationship .
I like how Tiffanny started to enjoy herself . Better her than Miss Piggy. Sorry that's GC.
I found that Chris joke in the diary room was worth watching , even if it sounded so cheesy . Think that's the word .
Think I need to watch Monday's show again as wasn't 100% concentrating . Probably do that sometime today .
I hope Chris did something more then he already is .
No doubt there be some sort of twist once tonight's eviction has taken place .i read somewhere on Twitter that Gillian that was Kath from Eastenders is going in the house . Probably for a task of some sort . Too late to have new hm coming on and end up winning it .
I'm surprised that Steph has not begged Big Bro in diary room to let her know if Sam is still with her or not .
Scotty T purpose in house to be observer with what goes on between Jeremy and Steph.
I want Tiffany to win . Whatever we see of her in the show is somethin worth watching for.

Bev said...

I was laughing so hard at this episode I had to play it again to catch what I missed. Tiffany in the toilet - OMG. Then she told us the last time she did it. It didn't seem to calm her down though she was revved up in high gear. I did feel bad for Tiff feeling left out though. She's just not in the mean girl clique but I feel the public likes her. I know I do.

GC gets worse each show. She copies so many other people. Never an original thought comes from her. Horrible!

I think Chris or John will go tonight. I can't wait for tonight's edition! Being in Canada I have to wait until it's uploaded and I watch it while eating dinner - not a good idea last night. lol

Do we know what the finale date is?

Great blog lightupvirginmary. Hi to Bigbrotherbile hope he is feeling better now.

lightupvirginmary said...

Thanks Bev for that nice comment. James is better now and hopefully we can do a podcast tonight. Good point about John going, I don't see much support for him, but I think Danniella is more at risk. It's normally whoever has had the least airtime.

I think the finale is on Friday 5 Feb, which is good, I like a Friday finale.

Arif, you're right about Christopher joke, very cheesy!

I hope Scotty T goes - I feel like he could derail Tiff's game. I'll keep dreaming!