Monday, 19 January 2009

Celebrity Big Brother 2009: It doesn't hurt

Secret eviction! Clashing with Eastenders! Boo.
'Ben, this is Big Brother. Please remove your knitwear. You look stupid.' So Ben nominated Ulrika because HE leaves the toilet seat up! Peculiar. And Coolio for being sexist. Yes, Coolio is sexist. As is Verne. It gets cut out of the highlights mostly. But isn't Ben's reason for nominating Ulrika sexism (or inverse sexism anyway?)
Coolio gave the same reason as Ben. Conspiracy? No, I think Ulrika just rubs folk up the wrong way. He nominated Michelle for 'de-glossing his shine.' Cute.
Latoya nominated Ulrika. I don't think Ulrika stares maliciously. She just has one of those faces that looks mardy, I think. Michelle also has 'the eye'. Oh, well, it's better than 'the nose.'
Michelle thinks Coolio is avoiding nomination 'by making the lads in his gang'; that's just being friends with people, isn't it? The women have really come out worse off in this series. They come off boring and bitter. It's a shame, because most women aren't so. Haha, Michelle nommed Tommy for using the word 'homie'. Quite right.
Advert rage! MUMS GO TO ICELAND... ARGH. Sexist wankers. The unemployed go to Iceland, more like. Followed by an advert warning about heart disease. How A-P-T.
Terry went against the boyos and voted for Ben in case he reunites A4! Haha. Funny. OMG he nommed Verne! I LOVED the reason why. Verne dissed history, Terry's bambino! Defender of the kings and queens gone past! Terry to win!
Tommy, you thicko, Ulrika's name is Ulrika, not EUREKA. I've told you this before, you bellowing gorilla of a man. He also nominated Michelle for being immature. Truth.
Ulrika said rather royally; 'if one answers a question'. Haha. And she nominated Terry for being a know-it-all and a chauvinist. He's not a chauvanist because he doesn't like you, Ulrika, that sort of cobblers gives feminism a bad name.
Verne nominated Ulrika for, guess what, being controlling. If I was her and came out and saw four or five people had said this about me, I'd take a little look at myself.
Verne nominated Terry! Shocker. Are they fighting for Coolio's affections?! I reckon they just think the other might win, y'know. The good old tactical vote.
I loved Terry telling Coolio you get a caravan for winning! Class.
So, Michelle and Ulrika were up for the hoofage. Glad it wasn't Coolio, love him or loathe him, he's made this year's show. He's funny, offensive, annoying, argumentative, opinionated, intelligent (at times), caring (at times) and very honest. Personally that combination works for me, I'd rather go on a night out with him and his tall tales than Ben and his scunt and silly little hat and his piss-covered toilet seat.
Recycled tasks! Chillis. Oh dear. I wish they'd think of something new. Ben didn't even eat it an amusing manner. Coolio just ate his like an apple! Chillio! And they got KFC for their troubles. Sweet. Better to go first on that task, I think. The anticipation looked painful.
I thought La Toya only eats salmon! Nice coughing ploy to get out of it. I enjoyed seeing her suffer, for no particular reason other than she's a bit spoilt! That's probably the worst thing she's ever had to do in her life. Although when she was repeating 'it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt' I had scary visions of the kiddies cowering round at Wacko's house.
I thought they were all quite brave in the chilli task actually. I certainly wouldn't have done it! Verne was effortless! Big brother so made up what they would or wouldn't do as the task went on.
Interesting when Coolio asked Ulrika if she'd been with a black man. I couldn't help thinking Terry had been in his ear about Stan Collymore! I wouldn't be surprised.
Tommy is right to criticise Michelle for not knowing what integrity means. It's unforgivable. I watched her and Ben talking on the live feed and it was the most pointless dross I'd ever heard. They are worse than lobotomised. Terry perhaps lost a few votes with the comment; 'all the thick types who vote on shows like this'. What about the thick types who GO in it?! It's a bit gross to see three grown men bitching so much though, bit sad, really. That's what's good about this BB in way though; even the likeable characters are seriously flawed. I like that, personally.
They all looked rather dapper at the eviction didn't they? Michelle looked really good actually; at least she wasn't dumped out looking ropey. She didn't take her wolfy with her though! Aaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh! Poor little wolfy. Maybe Ben will cuddle it later (or rub himself against it if he's feeling adventurous). I actually wish Ulrika had gone.
Ooh Michelle got serious booage. I must remind myself to pose for pictures in a coquettish, neck-broken manner.
The interview; Davina coos over Coolio and tells Michelle she should have 'laughed off' getting constantly wound up and insulted and sexually harrassed. Sigh! Do they have the same agent?
The Ben thing was just tedious, really. I thought it was very honest of Michelle to say that about her ex-husband and Davina reacted to it very childishly and idiotically, actually. At least she corrected the Eureka nonsense, though.
Davina: 'That's where Coolio's from and that's how everyone talks about people.' So presuming Coolio's mum is from the same area as Coolio (right?) she calls women bitches and hos too, yeah? Nice use of the non-discriminatory 'people' too. You can't be racist or homophobic on Big Brother these days, but women are STILL regularly insulted and the person doing the insulting defended. You and me, equality... if only.
That's mad that Michelle saw that clip of Verne on The Surreal Life! I hadn't seen it and I consider myself fairly on top of popular culture what with me old blog and that.
I thought Michelle came across OK in her interview. I used to hate the Heaton; and now I'm back to feeling indifferent to her. Hurrah!

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