I've been waiting to use that title for weeks, and now it makes no fucking sense! Thanks Ulrika. Thanks a lot.
I have to admit I started running out of steam with BB from about Wednesday. Watching people who don't want to be somewhere is depressing. It's like being at work again.
The final dinner felt a bit empty; Terry calling Ulrika stuck up, Ben being conceited, Verne moaning about women, Coolio and Terry scratching each other's backs.
So the Ben-doll was first out. Who voted for Ulrika over Ben? Ben is dull as fuck but at least he's blandly pretty. Maybe Ulrika got the women's vote?
NOW LISTEN. OK Davina. I'm listening, but nothing of interest is being said. Ben's interview was notable only for him staring misty-eyed at himself during his best bits.
VERNE in 4th?!! WTF! That was a genuine shocker. Davina did some GOOD patronising. Verne did NOT deserve to be 4th! Beaten by Ulrika, who did nothing but grumble the entire time. Verne shoulda been second, cuz. Denied!
I'd not seen Verne grin before; he looked very happy in the limelight. I liked him appreciating the crowd! Verne was pretty cool. His best bits were definitely top quality.
SO LISTEN! ARGHHHH.
Shocked Coolio was third too. How did Ulrika beat HIM? Were the public taking revenge for the anti-Brit chat? I have to say I'm not that upset that the 'bitches/hos' contigent got the elbow, but Coolio was good value. He put his heart and soul into it.
Terry! Terry! Terry!
Interesting that adversaries Terry and Ulrika were left. Best of British? She's Swedish, you munt!
Coolio was OK in his interview, I liked his sun and moon crap and he looked quite snazzy. There seemed to be a fair bit of booing.
And so. Ulrika-ka-ka won. Er... HOW? I think they got the results mangled up in the wash. RECOUNT!
Terry was charming and cute. He put in the time and amused, entertained and educated every night whilst Ulrika snoozed. I liked the fact he didn't apologise for calling the voters thick. I want to be his friend! Davina, 'There was one small error that could have cost you the whole thing.' Yeah, Ulrika winning, even though barely anyone likes her!
Ulrika must have come out of that house thinking we'd finally taken her into our hearts. Actually, most people were just genuinely baffled. I supported Ulrika from Day 1, and I always liked her on Shooting Stars, but I was disappointed with her in the house. She was depressing. If anything she avoided getting involved and that should not have been rewarded.
Davina is right; Ulrika was unwilling. WHY did she win? Nobody knows! Her eyeliner was good, but her dreary harping about her kids and husband was just snoozies. AND she was high-handed. Was it a feminist backlash? It can't be! I'm a feminist, but even I have my limits.
Weirdness. I've never seen such an odd result. What does it mean for the future of BB? Will Terry get a TV show? What will Ulrika do next?
I think my boyfriend summed it up with 'those fireworks are misplaced'.
I don't know, but I'm going to blog about some more high-brow shit in future. Things are changing around here!
Showing posts with label verne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label verne. Show all posts
Friday, 23 January 2009
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: They Make 'em Tough in Compton
They FINALLY chat about Jacko! La Toya gave Tommy SUCH a look when he mentioned Neverland. Coolio: 'He had a giraffe, cuz.' Heh.
Man-child Terry Christian did some armpit licking! I know some people who quite enjoy that sort of thing. So that's two things that are thick and salty so far.
I liked Coolio in his swimming cossy. He was in a serious sulk. Verne's task was pretty crap. He's only got tiny lungs so it seemed a bit cruel. I didn't get why they were laughing so much. I like it when Coolio is all protective over Verne.
Ben seemed like he quite enjoyed that granny-snog!
I liked Ulrika's joy at Tommy's suffering. 'He's in so much pain, hahaha!'
Verne looked like he was sitting on a throne as L&T were evicted. I thought Ulrika looked pretty tonight. Yes, she WAS happy when La Toya was evicted. Dur!
I liked Verne menacing Ben on his scooter. Verne plus scooter plus booze equals fun for all the family.
This time tomorrow, it's done.
Vote TC.
Man-child Terry Christian did some armpit licking! I know some people who quite enjoy that sort of thing. So that's two things that are thick and salty so far.
I liked Coolio in his swimming cossy. He was in a serious sulk. Verne's task was pretty crap. He's only got tiny lungs so it seemed a bit cruel. I didn't get why they were laughing so much. I like it when Coolio is all protective over Verne.
Ben seemed like he quite enjoyed that granny-snog!
I liked Ulrika's joy at Tommy's suffering. 'He's in so much pain, hahaha!'
Verne looked like he was sitting on a throne as L&T were evicted. I thought Ulrika looked pretty tonight. Yes, she WAS happy when La Toya was evicted. Dur!
I liked Verne menacing Ben on his scooter. Verne plus scooter plus booze equals fun for all the family.
This time tomorrow, it's done.
Vote TC.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: A Distant History
I was glad they got to watch the Obama-rama. They showed it at my work and I chipped off home and everyone looked at me like I was Satan. I saw in the laundrette after though, which was much more fitting. I liked it when he fucked up the speech a bit. It was cute.
The American task, however, was boring as shit. It was such dross. Tommy is the worst Big Brother contestant of all time, like someone you don't like from work being in the house. He has no entertainment value whatsoever. I liked Ulrika getting snappy with him. He's a DICK!
Rodeo: don't land on your nose, La Toya! I'd rather have seen Verne in it.
It was moving watching them watching the inaugauration speech. I'm glad Obama said that about non-believers, what a step forward. Terry seemed less impressed with history than usual! Did Coolio turn on the tears for the camera? Maybe he did and maybe he didn't, but I don't mind either way.
What was up La Toya's arse? She can see the TV can't she? Zenophobe! Verne: 'if it wasn't for us, other countries wouldn't exist.' Eh? God Save the Queen dude, we invented you! Who was he moaning about, Terry? As usual, the important stuff gets edited out.
It was interesting to hear about the American national pride; one of my most dearly-loved friends is American and I remember being gobsmacked by her national pride and love for her country. I know it's beaten into them, but it's something we can never really know.
I wasn't surprised La Toya was evicted, you know. I mean, who would pick up a phone and vote for her? But even so, more people voted for TOMMY that her? Hells bells. She does have a damn good body for an old dear, I'll give her that. Shame she looks like Jacko in a (different) fright wig. Ooh, she got a big cheer.
La Toya was very considered in her interview, and gave nothing away, surprise, surprise. She's a funny thing (obviously), a strange coquettish thing. But she must like the attention a bit? Davina licked her arse good!
Tommy: 'thank fuck for that'. Yeah, right, BROTHER. Boooooooooooooooo. I can't believe Davina still says that 'it's all panto' schtick. No it's not, we hate you!
There's nothing to say about his interview because he's nobody's nothing. Back to obscurity for you, dullard. PS. Davina should have asked him about that stupid thing he said to Michelle about them dancing together. But then Davina should ask a lot of things she doesn't.
NB. I liked Coolio's live feed speech last night in which he ranted incomprehensibly about how a little kid from India or a little Buddhist girl could grow up to be prime minister of England one day. Hehe.
PS: I have not seen ONE PERSON in the specially built jail in BB yet. Really, what is the fucking point? Endemol: fail.
The American task, however, was boring as shit. It was such dross. Tommy is the worst Big Brother contestant of all time, like someone you don't like from work being in the house. He has no entertainment value whatsoever. I liked Ulrika getting snappy with him. He's a DICK!
Rodeo: don't land on your nose, La Toya! I'd rather have seen Verne in it.
It was moving watching them watching the inaugauration speech. I'm glad Obama said that about non-believers, what a step forward. Terry seemed less impressed with history than usual! Did Coolio turn on the tears for the camera? Maybe he did and maybe he didn't, but I don't mind either way.
What was up La Toya's arse? She can see the TV can't she? Zenophobe! Verne: 'if it wasn't for us, other countries wouldn't exist.' Eh? God Save the Queen dude, we invented you! Who was he moaning about, Terry? As usual, the important stuff gets edited out.
It was interesting to hear about the American national pride; one of my most dearly-loved friends is American and I remember being gobsmacked by her national pride and love for her country. I know it's beaten into them, but it's something we can never really know.
I wasn't surprised La Toya was evicted, you know. I mean, who would pick up a phone and vote for her? But even so, more people voted for TOMMY that her? Hells bells. She does have a damn good body for an old dear, I'll give her that. Shame she looks like Jacko in a (different) fright wig. Ooh, she got a big cheer.
La Toya was very considered in her interview, and gave nothing away, surprise, surprise. She's a funny thing (obviously), a strange coquettish thing. But she must like the attention a bit? Davina licked her arse good!
Tommy: 'thank fuck for that'. Yeah, right, BROTHER. Boooooooooooooooo. I can't believe Davina still says that 'it's all panto' schtick. No it's not, we hate you!
There's nothing to say about his interview because he's nobody's nothing. Back to obscurity for you, dullard. PS. Davina should have asked him about that stupid thing he said to Michelle about them dancing together. But then Davina should ask a lot of things she doesn't.
NB. I liked Coolio's live feed speech last night in which he ranted incomprehensibly about how a little kid from India or a little Buddhist girl could grow up to be prime minister of England one day. Hehe.
PS: I have not seen ONE PERSON in the specially built jail in BB yet. Really, what is the fucking point? Endemol: fail.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: Verne Baby Verne
Poor Verne! How embarrassing being harangued to get off the toilet when you have chilli-bum! It's moments like that you really need to be on your own.
Michelle was astute predicting the nature of her demise. Ben- THREE SCUNT ACTION. Not needed!
Coolio's acting was super-camp. Verne looked good with the video camera. You can tell that 'ego' comment really got to Ulrika, didn't it, she's only mentioned it in EVERY SINGLE TASK SINCE. Get over it!
Terry's take off of Tina was spot-on. I have a funny feeling he didn't like her quite as much as he seemed to! No one could even be fucked to imitate Mutya! Ha.
Who PUT Verne in that highchair? It seems somewhat exploitative? I think he rather enjoyed beating up Coolio and La Toya.
I loved them all snoozing at Terry's history schtick. Very cute. I enjoyed this task a lot.
Verne snogging and stroking that baby and calling it Mutya will be giving Mutya nightmares for years to come, I'm sure. The word creepy is insufficient. Verne is a misogynistic, nasty little drunk but he gets away with murder. I can't think why (ahem). If he was average sized, I think he'd be a disliked housemate, as he's generally quite introverted. I do like Verne, though, despite his flaws, and not because he's 'cute' (although he can be). He's got an interesting story, and I like his anti-socialness. But he's still not as good a winner as Terry.
I liked Big Brother playing mind games with them all. Loved Terry and Coolio cuddling. Terry was loving it! He even started smoking his fag in a camp manner. Coolio's blatant homophobia was tragic. And Ulrika's Swedish dissing of them all was great. Big Brother should do that sort of crap constantly.
I like it when very shallow people declare some dumb comment to be 'deep'. Deep normally means using words of more than one syllable. Coolio did have a point; why WAS Ben letting Michelle cut his hair?!
Did you clock how when Davina came on the screen, Ulrika immediately uncovered her shoulders? What was that all about? She didn't look very upset this time around either; something tells me she wants to make it to Friday now. There's something steely in her that upsets people, but it's how she's got where she is now.
That was weird when Michelle left they played crowd noise; normally they let the housemates listen for the boos. Verne looked a bit sad after.
Coolio, the word is 'proud', not 'prideful.' Don't make me come in there.
Interesting Terry did his real nominations when they were doing the fake nominations. I think he likes to be very upfront; so upfront he bugs people, but at least he's at peace with himself.
Verne was actually right when he said in the greater scheme of things history means nothing. One meteor could put pay to all the art and science on the planet. But at the same time; to look at life like that is kind of depressing. It's nice to feel like you have a place in space and time. For example, today America inaugurated the first black president, not that you'd know it from my blog.
I liked the low-level tension when Verne was dissing Coolio. Coolio gives him a lot of leeway, which I like to watch.I liked the bit at the end when Verne said he was starstruck by Coolio, it was very honest and Coolio was almost gracious about it. They have an interesting and very real dynamic to their relationship. You got the feeling Ben wasn't really feeling it. But then robots can't cry, can they? And he sure aint no international superstar.
Michelle was astute predicting the nature of her demise. Ben- THREE SCUNT ACTION. Not needed!
Coolio's acting was super-camp. Verne looked good with the video camera. You can tell that 'ego' comment really got to Ulrika, didn't it, she's only mentioned it in EVERY SINGLE TASK SINCE. Get over it!
Terry's take off of Tina was spot-on. I have a funny feeling he didn't like her quite as much as he seemed to! No one could even be fucked to imitate Mutya! Ha.
Who PUT Verne in that highchair? It seems somewhat exploitative? I think he rather enjoyed beating up Coolio and La Toya.
I loved them all snoozing at Terry's history schtick. Very cute. I enjoyed this task a lot.
Verne snogging and stroking that baby and calling it Mutya will be giving Mutya nightmares for years to come, I'm sure. The word creepy is insufficient. Verne is a misogynistic, nasty little drunk but he gets away with murder. I can't think why (ahem). If he was average sized, I think he'd be a disliked housemate, as he's generally quite introverted. I do like Verne, though, despite his flaws, and not because he's 'cute' (although he can be). He's got an interesting story, and I like his anti-socialness. But he's still not as good a winner as Terry.
I liked Big Brother playing mind games with them all. Loved Terry and Coolio cuddling. Terry was loving it! He even started smoking his fag in a camp manner. Coolio's blatant homophobia was tragic. And Ulrika's Swedish dissing of them all was great. Big Brother should do that sort of crap constantly.
I like it when very shallow people declare some dumb comment to be 'deep'. Deep normally means using words of more than one syllable. Coolio did have a point; why WAS Ben letting Michelle cut his hair?!
Did you clock how when Davina came on the screen, Ulrika immediately uncovered her shoulders? What was that all about? She didn't look very upset this time around either; something tells me she wants to make it to Friday now. There's something steely in her that upsets people, but it's how she's got where she is now.
That was weird when Michelle left they played crowd noise; normally they let the housemates listen for the boos. Verne looked a bit sad after.
Coolio, the word is 'proud', not 'prideful.' Don't make me come in there.
Interesting Terry did his real nominations when they were doing the fake nominations. I think he likes to be very upfront; so upfront he bugs people, but at least he's at peace with himself.
Verne was actually right when he said in the greater scheme of things history means nothing. One meteor could put pay to all the art and science on the planet. But at the same time; to look at life like that is kind of depressing. It's nice to feel like you have a place in space and time. For example, today America inaugurated the first black president, not that you'd know it from my blog.
I liked the low-level tension when Verne was dissing Coolio. Coolio gives him a lot of leeway, which I like to watch.I liked the bit at the end when Verne said he was starstruck by Coolio, it was very honest and Coolio was almost gracious about it. They have an interesting and very real dynamic to their relationship. You got the feeling Ben wasn't really feeling it. But then robots can't cry, can they? And he sure aint no international superstar.
Monday, 19 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: It doesn't hurt
Secret eviction! Clashing with Eastenders! Boo.
'Ben, this is Big Brother. Please remove your knitwear. You look stupid.' So Ben nominated Ulrika because HE leaves the toilet seat up! Peculiar. And Coolio for being sexist. Yes, Coolio is sexist. As is Verne. It gets cut out of the highlights mostly. But isn't Ben's reason for nominating Ulrika sexism (or inverse sexism anyway?)
Coolio gave the same reason as Ben. Conspiracy? No, I think Ulrika just rubs folk up the wrong way. He nominated Michelle for 'de-glossing his shine.' Cute.
Latoya nominated Ulrika. I don't think Ulrika stares maliciously. She just has one of those faces that looks mardy, I think. Michelle also has 'the eye'. Oh, well, it's better than 'the nose.'
Michelle thinks Coolio is avoiding nomination 'by making the lads in his gang'; that's just being friends with people, isn't it? The women have really come out worse off in this series. They come off boring and bitter. It's a shame, because most women aren't so. Haha, Michelle nommed Tommy for using the word 'homie'. Quite right.
Advert rage! MUMS GO TO ICELAND... ARGH. Sexist wankers. The unemployed go to Iceland, more like. Followed by an advert warning about heart disease. How A-P-T.
Terry went against the boyos and voted for Ben in case he reunites A4! Haha. Funny. OMG he nommed Verne! I LOVED the reason why. Verne dissed history, Terry's bambino! Defender of the kings and queens gone past! Terry to win!
Tommy, you thicko, Ulrika's name is Ulrika, not EUREKA. I've told you this before, you bellowing gorilla of a man. He also nominated Michelle for being immature. Truth.
Ulrika said rather royally; 'if one answers a question'. Haha. And she nominated Terry for being a know-it-all and a chauvinist. He's not a chauvanist because he doesn't like you, Ulrika, that sort of cobblers gives feminism a bad name.
Verne nominated Ulrika for, guess what, being controlling. If I was her and came out and saw four or five people had said this about me, I'd take a little look at myself.
Verne nominated Terry! Shocker. Are they fighting for Coolio's affections?! I reckon they just think the other might win, y'know. The good old tactical vote.
I loved Terry telling Coolio you get a caravan for winning! Class.
So, Michelle and Ulrika were up for the hoofage. Glad it wasn't Coolio, love him or loathe him, he's made this year's show. He's funny, offensive, annoying, argumentative, opinionated, intelligent (at times), caring (at times) and very honest. Personally that combination works for me, I'd rather go on a night out with him and his tall tales than Ben and his scunt and silly little hat and his piss-covered toilet seat.
Recycled tasks! Chillis. Oh dear. I wish they'd think of something new. Ben didn't even eat it an amusing manner. Coolio just ate his like an apple! Chillio! And they got KFC for their troubles. Sweet. Better to go first on that task, I think. The anticipation looked painful.
I thought La Toya only eats salmon! Nice coughing ploy to get out of it. I enjoyed seeing her suffer, for no particular reason other than she's a bit spoilt! That's probably the worst thing she's ever had to do in her life. Although when she was repeating 'it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt' I had scary visions of the kiddies cowering round at Wacko's house.
I thought they were all quite brave in the chilli task actually. I certainly wouldn't have done it! Verne was effortless! Big brother so made up what they would or wouldn't do as the task went on.
Interesting when Coolio asked Ulrika if she'd been with a black man. I couldn't help thinking Terry had been in his ear about Stan Collymore! I wouldn't be surprised.
Tommy is right to criticise Michelle for not knowing what integrity means. It's unforgivable. I watched her and Ben talking on the live feed and it was the most pointless dross I'd ever heard. They are worse than lobotomised. Terry perhaps lost a few votes with the comment; 'all the thick types who vote on shows like this'. What about the thick types who GO in it?! It's a bit gross to see three grown men bitching so much though, bit sad, really. That's what's good about this BB in way though; even the likeable characters are seriously flawed. I like that, personally.
They all looked rather dapper at the eviction didn't they? Michelle looked really good actually; at least she wasn't dumped out looking ropey. She didn't take her wolfy with her though! Aaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh! Poor little wolfy. Maybe Ben will cuddle it later (or rub himself against it if he's feeling adventurous). I actually wish Ulrika had gone.
Ooh Michelle got serious booage. I must remind myself to pose for pictures in a coquettish, neck-broken manner.
The interview; Davina coos over Coolio and tells Michelle she should have 'laughed off' getting constantly wound up and insulted and sexually harrassed. Sigh! Do they have the same agent?
The Ben thing was just tedious, really. I thought it was very honest of Michelle to say that about her ex-husband and Davina reacted to it very childishly and idiotically, actually. At least she corrected the Eureka nonsense, though.
Davina: 'That's where Coolio's from and that's how everyone talks about people.' So presuming Coolio's mum is from the same area as Coolio (right?) she calls women bitches and hos too, yeah? Nice use of the non-discriminatory 'people' too. You can't be racist or homophobic on Big Brother these days, but women are STILL regularly insulted and the person doing the insulting defended. You and me, equality... if only.
That's mad that Michelle saw that clip of Verne on The Surreal Life! I hadn't seen it and I consider myself fairly on top of popular culture what with me old blog and that.
I thought Michelle came across OK in her interview. I used to hate the Heaton; and now I'm back to feeling indifferent to her. Hurrah!
'Ben, this is Big Brother. Please remove your knitwear. You look stupid.' So Ben nominated Ulrika because HE leaves the toilet seat up! Peculiar. And Coolio for being sexist. Yes, Coolio is sexist. As is Verne. It gets cut out of the highlights mostly. But isn't Ben's reason for nominating Ulrika sexism (or inverse sexism anyway?)
Coolio gave the same reason as Ben. Conspiracy? No, I think Ulrika just rubs folk up the wrong way. He nominated Michelle for 'de-glossing his shine.' Cute.
Latoya nominated Ulrika. I don't think Ulrika stares maliciously. She just has one of those faces that looks mardy, I think. Michelle also has 'the eye'. Oh, well, it's better than 'the nose.'
Michelle thinks Coolio is avoiding nomination 'by making the lads in his gang'; that's just being friends with people, isn't it? The women have really come out worse off in this series. They come off boring and bitter. It's a shame, because most women aren't so. Haha, Michelle nommed Tommy for using the word 'homie'. Quite right.
Advert rage! MUMS GO TO ICELAND... ARGH. Sexist wankers. The unemployed go to Iceland, more like. Followed by an advert warning about heart disease. How A-P-T.
Terry went against the boyos and voted for Ben in case he reunites A4! Haha. Funny. OMG he nommed Verne! I LOVED the reason why. Verne dissed history, Terry's bambino! Defender of the kings and queens gone past! Terry to win!
Tommy, you thicko, Ulrika's name is Ulrika, not EUREKA. I've told you this before, you bellowing gorilla of a man. He also nominated Michelle for being immature. Truth.
Ulrika said rather royally; 'if one answers a question'. Haha. And she nominated Terry for being a know-it-all and a chauvinist. He's not a chauvanist because he doesn't like you, Ulrika, that sort of cobblers gives feminism a bad name.
Verne nominated Ulrika for, guess what, being controlling. If I was her and came out and saw four or five people had said this about me, I'd take a little look at myself.
Verne nominated Terry! Shocker. Are they fighting for Coolio's affections?! I reckon they just think the other might win, y'know. The good old tactical vote.
I loved Terry telling Coolio you get a caravan for winning! Class.
So, Michelle and Ulrika were up for the hoofage. Glad it wasn't Coolio, love him or loathe him, he's made this year's show. He's funny, offensive, annoying, argumentative, opinionated, intelligent (at times), caring (at times) and very honest. Personally that combination works for me, I'd rather go on a night out with him and his tall tales than Ben and his scunt and silly little hat and his piss-covered toilet seat.
Recycled tasks! Chillis. Oh dear. I wish they'd think of something new. Ben didn't even eat it an amusing manner. Coolio just ate his like an apple! Chillio! And they got KFC for their troubles. Sweet. Better to go first on that task, I think. The anticipation looked painful.
I thought La Toya only eats salmon! Nice coughing ploy to get out of it. I enjoyed seeing her suffer, for no particular reason other than she's a bit spoilt! That's probably the worst thing she's ever had to do in her life. Although when she was repeating 'it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt' I had scary visions of the kiddies cowering round at Wacko's house.
I thought they were all quite brave in the chilli task actually. I certainly wouldn't have done it! Verne was effortless! Big brother so made up what they would or wouldn't do as the task went on.
Interesting when Coolio asked Ulrika if she'd been with a black man. I couldn't help thinking Terry had been in his ear about Stan Collymore! I wouldn't be surprised.
Tommy is right to criticise Michelle for not knowing what integrity means. It's unforgivable. I watched her and Ben talking on the live feed and it was the most pointless dross I'd ever heard. They are worse than lobotomised. Terry perhaps lost a few votes with the comment; 'all the thick types who vote on shows like this'. What about the thick types who GO in it?! It's a bit gross to see three grown men bitching so much though, bit sad, really. That's what's good about this BB in way though; even the likeable characters are seriously flawed. I like that, personally.
They all looked rather dapper at the eviction didn't they? Michelle looked really good actually; at least she wasn't dumped out looking ropey. She didn't take her wolfy with her though! Aaaaaaaooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh! Poor little wolfy. Maybe Ben will cuddle it later (or rub himself against it if he's feeling adventurous). I actually wish Ulrika had gone.
Ooh Michelle got serious booage. I must remind myself to pose for pictures in a coquettish, neck-broken manner.
The interview; Davina coos over Coolio and tells Michelle she should have 'laughed off' getting constantly wound up and insulted and sexually harrassed. Sigh! Do they have the same agent?
The Ben thing was just tedious, really. I thought it was very honest of Michelle to say that about her ex-husband and Davina reacted to it very childishly and idiotically, actually. At least she corrected the Eureka nonsense, though.
Davina: 'That's where Coolio's from and that's how everyone talks about people.' So presuming Coolio's mum is from the same area as Coolio (right?) she calls women bitches and hos too, yeah? Nice use of the non-discriminatory 'people' too. You can't be racist or homophobic on Big Brother these days, but women are STILL regularly insulted and the person doing the insulting defended. You and me, equality... if only.
That's mad that Michelle saw that clip of Verne on The Surreal Life! I hadn't seen it and I consider myself fairly on top of popular culture what with me old blog and that.
I thought Michelle came across OK in her interview. I used to hate the Heaton; and now I'm back to feeling indifferent to her. Hurrah!
Sunday, 18 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: The Game is Afoot
A word on yesterday's show. It felt like one of those where they chopped out more than they kept in, this the highlights seemed jumbled. Sounds like there was a lot more of Verne's rampage we missed; shame.
Mutya leaving was a bit of a downer; can't say I blame her, though. The man/woman divide has been depressing to watch. At least she had the balls to go rather than harping on about it and not following through.
La Toya's innocent mask is starting to slip a little; some of the things she says I agree with, but was she trying to set Coolio against Terry?! Not cool!
Coolio's 'she's one of them girls who forgets her boyfriend when she gets drunk' about Michelle was true; but Ben should have defended her. Coolio lying on the floor with his legs open was just crass. I don't think homphobia or racism would be treated so casually as their constant sexism (and I include Verne in this too).
On the live feed on Saturday night Ben also said he'd 'do a gig for the BNP.' Lush! Terry was right about the integrity thing, after all.
Tonight's offerings; I don't know if I believe La Toya's conspiracy against Michelle; because the public DON'T vote for cry-babies.
Michelle: 'what does pensive mean?' How do people get to be so thick? I really don't get it. I went to a crappy school, in a crappy town, but I read a sodding book every now and again. I genuinely don't know any thick people. I just wouldn't allow it.
HA! Ulrika asking Ben out to WRITE songs! *snort*
Tommy! Pish off. Why was he being such a dickwad? Oh and shave your back, it's disgusting. And he started on Ulrika for nothing. Is he on the blob or what?
Ben's song was a bit naughty, saying Michelle was wet for him! Was there a glimmer of personality there behind his dead, pretty eyes?
The song they did was alright; Verne's mullet was good. 'I hate this song/ I hate this task/ vote for me or I'll kick your arse.' was a touch of genius. I liked La Toya's afro as well.
Why does everyone hate Ulrika? She is a little officious but she's not THAT bad. Tommy, on the other hand, is a complete and utter cock-rash.
Terry's Ulrika-grudge is a little wearing, too. Get over it, dude.
PS: Coolio's statements always make the best blog titles.
Mutya leaving was a bit of a downer; can't say I blame her, though. The man/woman divide has been depressing to watch. At least she had the balls to go rather than harping on about it and not following through.
La Toya's innocent mask is starting to slip a little; some of the things she says I agree with, but was she trying to set Coolio against Terry?! Not cool!
Coolio's 'she's one of them girls who forgets her boyfriend when she gets drunk' about Michelle was true; but Ben should have defended her. Coolio lying on the floor with his legs open was just crass. I don't think homphobia or racism would be treated so casually as their constant sexism (and I include Verne in this too).
On the live feed on Saturday night Ben also said he'd 'do a gig for the BNP.' Lush! Terry was right about the integrity thing, after all.
Tonight's offerings; I don't know if I believe La Toya's conspiracy against Michelle; because the public DON'T vote for cry-babies.
Michelle: 'what does pensive mean?' How do people get to be so thick? I really don't get it. I went to a crappy school, in a crappy town, but I read a sodding book every now and again. I genuinely don't know any thick people. I just wouldn't allow it.
HA! Ulrika asking Ben out to WRITE songs! *snort*
Tommy! Pish off. Why was he being such a dickwad? Oh and shave your back, it's disgusting. And he started on Ulrika for nothing. Is he on the blob or what?
Ben's song was a bit naughty, saying Michelle was wet for him! Was there a glimmer of personality there behind his dead, pretty eyes?
The song they did was alright; Verne's mullet was good. 'I hate this song/ I hate this task/ vote for me or I'll kick your arse.' was a touch of genius. I liked La Toya's afro as well.
Why does everyone hate Ulrika? She is a little officious but she's not THAT bad. Tommy, on the other hand, is a complete and utter cock-rash.
Terry's Ulrika-grudge is a little wearing, too. Get over it, dude.
PS: Coolio's statements always make the best blog titles.
Friday, 16 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: Hungry Ass
SO LISTEN. (Davina, please stop saying this, I AM listening)
Show Verne's meltdown! Now on channel 4, an exclusive advert. FUCK OFF! Show Verne's meltdown!
Tina and Mutya; dwarf hating! DON'T KICK THE GOLDEN GOOSE! Give him some champagne!!!
Note to the Endetrolls: NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SHOPPING LIST!
Tommy, bro. Coolio, bro. Ulrika-ka-ka called Coolio an anus!
I'm not being funny, but Tina said 'I'm not being funny...' three times tonight. When I hear the words 'I'm not being funny', I immediately replace it in my head with 'I'm a an utter cunt, so ignore the following statement..' So Tina (bowling ball with legs; Coolio's words, not mine) finally blew, but it was boring (except Michelle smirking). She is just a FISHWIFE. It's not sexism; it's idiocy. TINA was sexist with her 'fucking me and paying me mortgage' comment. Her attitude is disgraceful. Put the bitch in jail. She's the most intimidating person in the house.
Coolio was doing a Rex bigging up his cooking credentials. Coolio should respect Ulrika because 'she's married with four kids.' So what?! You should respect people anyway. I'm not married and I have no kids. Where's my medal?
BEN! Take your scunt off, it's getting BORING. I bet it's all filthy round your neck.
'If you don't moan for an hour; you can have a party'; So they all start arguing and moaning. The only way they can do it is to not speak at all. Shame!
How apt they played a song with the lyrics 'freak out' just before Verne went postal!
We were scared when we saw that smashed glass on the live feed last night! I thought Verne had kicked some arse.
Michelle, here's your letter from home; YOU'RE DUMPED! Haha to Ulrika's 'I think you and Ben could have sex now'; that was really funny.
Did Verne fold because he had a letter from home? He was kind of menacing circling round in his scooter. That was good TV. The silence was deafening. He's a naughty one, chatting up Ben and stuff! Coolio's 'we need to take your keys bro' was brilliant. His one liners are spot on at times.
The tension between La Toya and Verne was really interesting. Him cracking onto her was the best. 'With your smile you can do anything'. They would be the most brilliant couple ever.
I liked him beeping his horn at Mutya. I prefer naughty Verne! He's more well-rounded.
Evictions; the louder the 'YES' the more gutted they are! Haha. There goes your acting career; down the toilet. Coolio was right again.
Interview show; Tina, put your muff away! Why wasn't she booed more! BOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Davina called her Princess Shrek. Hehe! She looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp watching those nominations. YOU DON'T LISTEN!
Tina Bingo:
1. I'm not being funny, but...
2. I'm a fat bird...
3. I'm the sort of person who...
4. Not arsed...
5. Coolio is a twat
6. Ulrika to win
We did a drinking game during this interview; 'fat bird' was a shot, and I had to swallow it. 'That's just the way I am...' was a lucky escape from 'I'm the sort of person who...'
Er, then my freeview fucked up. So I missed it if she said 'Ulrika to win.' But she did, didn't she? Cheers!
Show Verne's meltdown! Now on channel 4, an exclusive advert. FUCK OFF! Show Verne's meltdown!
Tina and Mutya; dwarf hating! DON'T KICK THE GOLDEN GOOSE! Give him some champagne!!!
Note to the Endetrolls: NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SHOPPING LIST!
Tommy, bro. Coolio, bro. Ulrika-ka-ka called Coolio an anus!
I'm not being funny, but Tina said 'I'm not being funny...' three times tonight. When I hear the words 'I'm not being funny', I immediately replace it in my head with 'I'm a an utter cunt, so ignore the following statement..' So Tina (bowling ball with legs; Coolio's words, not mine) finally blew, but it was boring (except Michelle smirking). She is just a FISHWIFE. It's not sexism; it's idiocy. TINA was sexist with her 'fucking me and paying me mortgage' comment. Her attitude is disgraceful. Put the bitch in jail. She's the most intimidating person in the house.
Coolio was doing a Rex bigging up his cooking credentials. Coolio should respect Ulrika because 'she's married with four kids.' So what?! You should respect people anyway. I'm not married and I have no kids. Where's my medal?
BEN! Take your scunt off, it's getting BORING. I bet it's all filthy round your neck.
'If you don't moan for an hour; you can have a party'; So they all start arguing and moaning. The only way they can do it is to not speak at all. Shame!
How apt they played a song with the lyrics 'freak out' just before Verne went postal!
We were scared when we saw that smashed glass on the live feed last night! I thought Verne had kicked some arse.
Michelle, here's your letter from home; YOU'RE DUMPED! Haha to Ulrika's 'I think you and Ben could have sex now'; that was really funny.
Did Verne fold because he had a letter from home? He was kind of menacing circling round in his scooter. That was good TV. The silence was deafening. He's a naughty one, chatting up Ben and stuff! Coolio's 'we need to take your keys bro' was brilliant. His one liners are spot on at times.
The tension between La Toya and Verne was really interesting. Him cracking onto her was the best. 'With your smile you can do anything'. They would be the most brilliant couple ever.
I liked him beeping his horn at Mutya. I prefer naughty Verne! He's more well-rounded.
Evictions; the louder the 'YES' the more gutted they are! Haha. There goes your acting career; down the toilet. Coolio was right again.
Interview show; Tina, put your muff away! Why wasn't she booed more! BOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Davina called her Princess Shrek. Hehe! She looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp watching those nominations. YOU DON'T LISTEN!
Tina Bingo:
1. I'm not being funny, but...
2. I'm a fat bird...
3. I'm the sort of person who...
4. Not arsed...
5. Coolio is a twat
6. Ulrika to win
We did a drinking game during this interview; 'fat bird' was a shot, and I had to swallow it. 'That's just the way I am...' was a lucky escape from 'I'm the sort of person who...'
Er, then my freeview fucked up. So I missed it if she said 'Ulrika to win.' But she did, didn't she? Cheers!
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: I'm Not Being Funny, but...
How fat must your fanny be to want to get it lipo-ed? TMI, Tina. Nice comedy timing falling off the chair too. She's really dreamy!
Tommy and Coolio are crappy not doing the task. I'd be annoyed if I was in there and they were being so fucking lazy.
That Michelle catching Verne thing seemed like a bit of a health and safety issue. I don't think would have happened on Mario's watch. Verne just wanted a bit of contact with Michelle.
'I'm not being funny right, but we're going to get 100,000 hits on the website.' FAIL! I saw her mouthing off about this on the live feed too, she was seriously gutted. As Nelson of The Simpsons would say, Ha-ha!
Ben smoking in that costume was a pure fire hazard! Mario, come back! Then he did a Liz McDonald behind the sofa. Subtle! I don't know if he really frightened Ulrika or if she was just humouring him.
Does La Toya do anything? She's the perfect example of flying under the radar. She looked happy when Ulrika fucked up her task though.
I liked that piano task, it was cool. I want to play giant piano! I like Mut-E-ya.
What did Tina go 'told you' for about the hits? I'm not being funny but but she said they were gonna get 100,000 hits because she's in Shameless on Channel 4. Shame no one watches it because it's a load of shit.
In Verne vs Ulrika, Ulrika was actually in the right. She DIDN'T say that about La Toya; I rewound it on my freeview. Ulrika is controlling but on that point she was in the right, I concur.
Tina, my dear: it's not CLICK, it's CLIQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh, I hate you so much. Finally she got off her arse and gave Ulrika a hug; after about ten minutes.
Pretty poor tonight. Hey ho.
Tommy and Coolio are crappy not doing the task. I'd be annoyed if I was in there and they were being so fucking lazy.
That Michelle catching Verne thing seemed like a bit of a health and safety issue. I don't think would have happened on Mario's watch. Verne just wanted a bit of contact with Michelle.
'I'm not being funny right, but we're going to get 100,000 hits on the website.' FAIL! I saw her mouthing off about this on the live feed too, she was seriously gutted. As Nelson of The Simpsons would say, Ha-ha!
Ben smoking in that costume was a pure fire hazard! Mario, come back! Then he did a Liz McDonald behind the sofa. Subtle! I don't know if he really frightened Ulrika or if she was just humouring him.
Does La Toya do anything? She's the perfect example of flying under the radar. She looked happy when Ulrika fucked up her task though.
I liked that piano task, it was cool. I want to play giant piano! I like Mut-E-ya.
What did Tina go 'told you' for about the hits? I'm not being funny but but she said they were gonna get 100,000 hits because she's in Shameless on Channel 4. Shame no one watches it because it's a load of shit.
In Verne vs Ulrika, Ulrika was actually in the right. She DIDN'T say that about La Toya; I rewound it on my freeview. Ulrika is controlling but on that point she was in the right, I concur.
Tina, my dear: it's not CLICK, it's CLIQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Argh, I hate you so much. Finally she got off her arse and gave Ulrika a hug; after about ten minutes.
Pretty poor tonight. Hey ho.
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: Weakasaurus (consider me a turtle)
I'm like a blog machine this week! You can tell I live alone, don't you? I DO have a life, honest! *eats chocolate orange in bed*
Michelle STOP CRYING. What's the opposite of sympathy? That's how I feel. She could get voted out if she doesn't put a sock in it and then we'll be stuck with Tina.
God, I hate Tommy. He's so pointless. He sucks up air time like a hoover, and gives us nothing back.
I liked the toy outfits. I've not seen ONE PERSON in jail yet! What a waste of time.
It was weird when those kids came in and sat on Verne's scooter; what a liberty! God, let me never have a baby if it makes me blub at the mere sight of any given child. (Oh yeah, and they are scary and stuff.)
Task quitters! Mutya is surly but she's hardly scary. 'I aint being nobody's clown' she said, with red painted cheeks. Terry threw himself wholeheartedly into his task. Even Tina fookin' tried, like.
Verne's crush on Michelle is sweet. No one's really clocked it either (in there).
Do you know what I hate? When they announced the noms and all those voted for went 'yes!'. That's not the spirit of BB! They are meant to want to stay IN! Urgh. I hate these celebrities.
I actually think Ukrika and Michelle hammed up how upset they were with what Coolio said. He just spouts shit; butI have seen worse from him. They did well to play it up. Haha even Coolio was shocked he didn't get nominated. Everyone was too scared to nominate him! Ha, I loved Coolio saying he was not talking anymore! Whilst talking a lot. He's come out with some great phrases tonight. If he used his brain; he could win this show. I think he's too much of a loose cannon, though.
The bit where Terry was ticking him off in the ashtray was hilarious! Coolio is a big baby. His sulky face was great. At least Michelle tried to talk to him.
I love Verne's Hollywood stories! I wish we could hear more. But Coolio yaps too much.
PS: On the live feed last night Coolio and Terry were in the bath together! It was cute! It was interesting when Coolio said his kids wanted to play with Verne because they thought he was a kid. It was kind of touching and interesting. Verne is always going on about computer games! He even said he skipped Christmas and played computer games instead of seeing his family the other day. That's lightupvirginmary levels of anti-socialness.(I have insomnia right now: I wonder if it's BB related?)
Michelle STOP CRYING. What's the opposite of sympathy? That's how I feel. She could get voted out if she doesn't put a sock in it and then we'll be stuck with Tina.
God, I hate Tommy. He's so pointless. He sucks up air time like a hoover, and gives us nothing back.
I liked the toy outfits. I've not seen ONE PERSON in jail yet! What a waste of time.
It was weird when those kids came in and sat on Verne's scooter; what a liberty! God, let me never have a baby if it makes me blub at the mere sight of any given child. (Oh yeah, and they are scary and stuff.)
Task quitters! Mutya is surly but she's hardly scary. 'I aint being nobody's clown' she said, with red painted cheeks. Terry threw himself wholeheartedly into his task. Even Tina fookin' tried, like.
Verne's crush on Michelle is sweet. No one's really clocked it either (in there).
Do you know what I hate? When they announced the noms and all those voted for went 'yes!'. That's not the spirit of BB! They are meant to want to stay IN! Urgh. I hate these celebrities.
I actually think Ukrika and Michelle hammed up how upset they were with what Coolio said. He just spouts shit; butI have seen worse from him. They did well to play it up. Haha even Coolio was shocked he didn't get nominated. Everyone was too scared to nominate him! Ha, I loved Coolio saying he was not talking anymore! Whilst talking a lot. He's come out with some great phrases tonight. If he used his brain; he could win this show. I think he's too much of a loose cannon, though.
The bit where Terry was ticking him off in the ashtray was hilarious! Coolio is a big baby. His sulky face was great. At least Michelle tried to talk to him.
I love Verne's Hollywood stories! I wish we could hear more. But Coolio yaps too much.
PS: On the live feed last night Coolio and Terry were in the bath together! It was cute! It was interesting when Coolio said his kids wanted to play with Verne because they thought he was a kid. It was kind of touching and interesting. Verne is always going on about computer games! He even said he skipped Christmas and played computer games instead of seeing his family the other day. That's lightupvirginmary levels of anti-socialness.(I have insomnia right now: I wonder if it's BB related?)
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: The First Noms (This is MY house)
Madonna looks like a bag of crisps?! That's one bag of crisps I wouldn't eat.
So, the first nominations. Ah, Ben of A3 fame hasn't thought of anyone to nominate. Make the following words into one 8-letter-word: shit bull. He didn't exactly hesitate when he got in the diary room, did he?
And so we find out what they are really thinking. Blaming Tina for him being quiet in the house is a bit rich; she didn't form his personality. And voting Mutya over Coolio! Bad boy.
Coolio voted Ulrika 'to take her superior arse home' and Michelle 'because she has a decent body.' Uh?! That's the weirdest nomination ever.
La Toya tried to give some lame reason for nominating Ulrika, but she quickly enough came out with 'she's bossy and has hatred in her face.' Harsh! That's not hatred, it's botox. Besides, I'd rather have hatred in my face than someone else's skin colour on my entire body.
Finally; nominations to agree with! Michelle voted Tina and Coolio. Notice how she said 'something on Ben's side from me.' She is coming off kind of passive-aggressive bunny-boiler-ish.
I like Mutya! Tommy is annoying; why didn't he get more nominations? OMG Mutya nominated Verne!!! Get ready to get blasted on BBLB. You don't fuck with the golden goose, you dwarfist!!! Heads will ROLL. PS. Why the fuck didn't she nominate Coolio?
Terry nominated Michelle for being touchy and then projected over Ulrika. I think Ulrika liked him very much on Day 1. Terry just saw green. He enjoyed those nominations, didn't he? I still want him to be my pick, but he has got a right narky side.
What's with Tina's hat? Is it fetish-wear? Nominating Michelle for being 'shallow' when she actually meant 'thin'. And that aint no lie! And Ben! Poor puppy. He is a boring bastard though. Although I thought his story about the date was fair. I hate gold-diggers.
Tommy nommed Ulrika aka EUREKA (if you're a dumbass). His nomination for her came off very controlling, brother. He also nominated Mutyargh. Why should she break into song for you, you dullard? And as for not cleaning! Put your apron on Mutty, make Tommy a sandwich, there's a good girl.
Er... why aren't more people nominating TINA??? And who's Gay Guevara T-shirt is that? The public needs to know!
Ulrika wreaked her revenge on Ben for being more popular than her in that previous vote, right. Her reasons for nominating him were a bit weird. I would definitely vote out La Toya if she was there. She gives me nightmares.
Verne nominated Ulrika-ka-ka for being controlling. OK, all the Americans hate her, so she must be doing something to rub people up the wrong way. I want to defend her but the evidence mounts up. Shame, really. THANK FUCK VERNE NOMINATED TINA! He could win the show just on that one nomination alone. I love you, Verne. Wanna make a porno?
I can't BELIEVE Coolio didn't get more votes. How bizarre! So; it's all girls up. It's gotta be Tina, RIGHT?
Ben said out of all the women La Toya was the sexiest? I think he should have gone to Specsavers.
Tina's glee at telling people their negatives!!! Imagine calling The Samaritans and getting her on the line. 'Just FOOKIN' kill yourself!'
OH GOD I'M SO BORED OF THE MICHELLE/ BEN/ COOLIO TRIANGLE OF DESPAIR! Ben, grow some balls and stick up for yourself and your 'friend'. Michelle was milking it, but for God's sake, that joke isn't funny anymore. She's not 'playing into his hands' by being pissed off, but I'm sick of the lot of 'em. Coolio is bullying Michelle because he fancies her. It's pathetic. I WOULD walk out if it was me, if she really wants to prove her feelings. But the lure of fame is too much. And Cuntio said as much. Still, the blaming the victim thing is wrong. And why should she leave, really?
Ah, Michelle was doing that crying you do when you're 6 with little gasps in between. Talk of 'MY BOYFRIEND' reminds me of Rex and 'MY GIRLFRIEND'. And we know how happy they were, right? So my solution is let's ship Michelle Heaton's boyfriend in and let's see what REAL love is.
Ben is such a wet rag of a man. His 'I think you need to apologise' line was pathetic. He's the kind of boyfriend you dread getting beaten up on a night out because you suspect he'd cry his eyes out and call up his mummy. (this sounds sexist; but you know it's true, so I may as well say it)
La Toya's genius theory that 'we expect that behaviour out of Coolio, so let's overlook it.' was just perfect. Yeah; I expect a bit of kiddy-fiddling out of Gary Glitter, so I've decided just to overlook it and let him babysit. Lawks!
So, the first nominations. Ah, Ben of A3 fame hasn't thought of anyone to nominate. Make the following words into one 8-letter-word: shit bull. He didn't exactly hesitate when he got in the diary room, did he?
And so we find out what they are really thinking. Blaming Tina for him being quiet in the house is a bit rich; she didn't form his personality. And voting Mutya over Coolio! Bad boy.
Coolio voted Ulrika 'to take her superior arse home' and Michelle 'because she has a decent body.' Uh?! That's the weirdest nomination ever.
La Toya tried to give some lame reason for nominating Ulrika, but she quickly enough came out with 'she's bossy and has hatred in her face.' Harsh! That's not hatred, it's botox. Besides, I'd rather have hatred in my face than someone else's skin colour on my entire body.
Finally; nominations to agree with! Michelle voted Tina and Coolio. Notice how she said 'something on Ben's side from me.' She is coming off kind of passive-aggressive bunny-boiler-ish.
I like Mutya! Tommy is annoying; why didn't he get more nominations? OMG Mutya nominated Verne!!! Get ready to get blasted on BBLB. You don't fuck with the golden goose, you dwarfist!!! Heads will ROLL. PS. Why the fuck didn't she nominate Coolio?
Terry nominated Michelle for being touchy and then projected over Ulrika. I think Ulrika liked him very much on Day 1. Terry just saw green. He enjoyed those nominations, didn't he? I still want him to be my pick, but he has got a right narky side.
What's with Tina's hat? Is it fetish-wear? Nominating Michelle for being 'shallow' when she actually meant 'thin'. And that aint no lie! And Ben! Poor puppy. He is a boring bastard though. Although I thought his story about the date was fair. I hate gold-diggers.
Tommy nommed Ulrika aka EUREKA (if you're a dumbass). His nomination for her came off very controlling, brother. He also nominated Mutyargh. Why should she break into song for you, you dullard? And as for not cleaning! Put your apron on Mutty, make Tommy a sandwich, there's a good girl.
Er... why aren't more people nominating TINA??? And who's Gay Guevara T-shirt is that? The public needs to know!
Ulrika wreaked her revenge on Ben for being more popular than her in that previous vote, right. Her reasons for nominating him were a bit weird. I would definitely vote out La Toya if she was there. She gives me nightmares.
Verne nominated Ulrika-ka-ka for being controlling. OK, all the Americans hate her, so she must be doing something to rub people up the wrong way. I want to defend her but the evidence mounts up. Shame, really. THANK FUCK VERNE NOMINATED TINA! He could win the show just on that one nomination alone. I love you, Verne. Wanna make a porno?
I can't BELIEVE Coolio didn't get more votes. How bizarre! So; it's all girls up. It's gotta be Tina, RIGHT?
Ben said out of all the women La Toya was the sexiest? I think he should have gone to Specsavers.
Tina's glee at telling people their negatives!!! Imagine calling The Samaritans and getting her on the line. 'Just FOOKIN' kill yourself!'
OH GOD I'M SO BORED OF THE MICHELLE/ BEN/ COOLIO TRIANGLE OF DESPAIR! Ben, grow some balls and stick up for yourself and your 'friend'. Michelle was milking it, but for God's sake, that joke isn't funny anymore. She's not 'playing into his hands' by being pissed off, but I'm sick of the lot of 'em. Coolio is bullying Michelle because he fancies her. It's pathetic. I WOULD walk out if it was me, if she really wants to prove her feelings. But the lure of fame is too much. And Cuntio said as much. Still, the blaming the victim thing is wrong. And why should she leave, really?
Ah, Michelle was doing that crying you do when you're 6 with little gasps in between. Talk of 'MY BOYFRIEND' reminds me of Rex and 'MY GIRLFRIEND'. And we know how happy they were, right? So my solution is let's ship Michelle Heaton's boyfriend in and let's see what REAL love is.
Ben is such a wet rag of a man. His 'I think you need to apologise' line was pathetic. He's the kind of boyfriend you dread getting beaten up on a night out because you suspect he'd cry his eyes out and call up his mummy. (this sounds sexist; but you know it's true, so I may as well say it)
La Toya's genius theory that 'we expect that behaviour out of Coolio, so let's overlook it.' was just perfect. Yeah; I expect a bit of kiddy-fiddling out of Gary Glitter, so I've decided just to overlook it and let him babysit. Lawks!
Monday, 12 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: I just can't get enough electric shocks...
...as Patrick Wolf once sang. And he goes on; 'I want to buy a lighthouse and ride a giraffe on the rocks.' And why not? But I digress.
What the fuck does 'high-handed' mean anyway!? It's a weird old expression. No one is coming out of this situation very well. I was interested to hear La Toya's views on Ulrika, as she has no prior knowledge of her, and can only be going on what she sees.
I LOVED the camera panning to Verne when they mentioned porn. I haven't had the pleasure of seeing his porno yet, but believe me, I've looked (I'm depraved.) I DID find the 'incident' Coolio mentioned, which was funny as hell, I think I need to download some of that Surreal Life show. Big Brother UK must seem exceedingly vanilla by comparison.
Tina was mouthing off about nothing as usual. Yap, yap, yap. Put the doggy down, it's gone rabid! At least they are starting to see through her now.
Oh my god, I have never heard so much whining about people wanting to leave! We get it, you're in it for the MONEY! How about providing some laughs whilst you're at it, you grasping shrews?
Ooh, La Toya; stirring it up, with her talk of romance and eye-talk! That hat was nutty. Tina just agreeing with everything she said was DULL! If Tina cared about Michelle she would have shut down that conversation straight away. Naughty.
Did they give Verne an entire roast chicken? It looked like it! The yanks had ever heard of Richard Blackwood?! Well I never. Haha they had still forgotten Barrymore. Alwight?! Tommy seemed to be rather ENJOYING his electric shocks, didn't he? Gross.
I like it when Verne gets a bit pissy with Coolio. It's amusing.
Aw, see Tina hiding her belly behind a cushion! Shame. It was a good task, but it's recycled. Time for some new ideas.
Coolio! Sexual harrassment! Mutya; unhealthy attitudes towards women, relationships and men. No male friends? Tragic.
Oh my God, then Tina broke her confidence to La Toya! The woman has NO integrity whatsoever. Ulrika had the public mood UTTERLY wrong about Tina. She was quite right about Ben though; he gives nothing away. Except in the diary room, where he said he didn't fancy Michelle. Ouch!
I love it when Yanks say 'shag'.
Oh yeah, and read Charlie B's BB bloggy cos it's better than mine (obv).
What the fuck does 'high-handed' mean anyway!? It's a weird old expression. No one is coming out of this situation very well. I was interested to hear La Toya's views on Ulrika, as she has no prior knowledge of her, and can only be going on what she sees.
I LOVED the camera panning to Verne when they mentioned porn. I haven't had the pleasure of seeing his porno yet, but believe me, I've looked (I'm depraved.) I DID find the 'incident' Coolio mentioned, which was funny as hell, I think I need to download some of that Surreal Life show. Big Brother UK must seem exceedingly vanilla by comparison.
Tina was mouthing off about nothing as usual. Yap, yap, yap. Put the doggy down, it's gone rabid! At least they are starting to see through her now.
Oh my god, I have never heard so much whining about people wanting to leave! We get it, you're in it for the MONEY! How about providing some laughs whilst you're at it, you grasping shrews?
Ooh, La Toya; stirring it up, with her talk of romance and eye-talk! That hat was nutty. Tina just agreeing with everything she said was DULL! If Tina cared about Michelle she would have shut down that conversation straight away. Naughty.
Did they give Verne an entire roast chicken? It looked like it! The yanks had ever heard of Richard Blackwood?! Well I never. Haha they had still forgotten Barrymore. Alwight?! Tommy seemed to be rather ENJOYING his electric shocks, didn't he? Gross.
I like it when Verne gets a bit pissy with Coolio. It's amusing.
Aw, see Tina hiding her belly behind a cushion! Shame. It was a good task, but it's recycled. Time for some new ideas.
Coolio! Sexual harrassment! Mutya; unhealthy attitudes towards women, relationships and men. No male friends? Tragic.
Oh my God, then Tina broke her confidence to La Toya! The woman has NO integrity whatsoever. Ulrika had the public mood UTTERLY wrong about Tina. She was quite right about Ben though; he gives nothing away. Except in the diary room, where he said he didn't fancy Michelle. Ouch!
I love it when Yanks say 'shag'.
Oh yeah, and read Charlie B's BB bloggy cos it's better than mine (obv).
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: Ho-magnet
What is the difference between ho's, bitches and women? Tommy said there's no difference! Haha. He was trying to get on his high horse today, but it wasn't quite working out for him. yelling 'Pish' at Coolio wasn't exactly reasoned debate.
How come Coolio is allowed in the house when he has a criminal record? So us plebs would be banned for that, but he's OK, because he's famous. Coolio calling women 'ho's' and 'loose women' for wearing mini-skirts is deplorable; but I'm not in the least bit surprised that Coolio doesn't get called up on it, sexism is considered perfectly acceptable in all walks of society, and if a woman even tries to defend it; well, it was nice knowing you.
Mutya let herself down by colluding with him. But again, it's very common for women to have those sorts of self-hating views. All too common, in fact. At least she had the nous to realise men don't get called those sorts of names.
Tina complaining that no one stands up to Coolio (whilst not standing up to Coolio) was tragic. I can't believe he brought up the Michelle and Ben thing again. It's just painful. Poor Ben hasn't got the gonads to fight back and Michelle seems uncharacteristically quiet. Verne was kind to her. I think he has a soft spot for her.
I thought Mutya looked cute again in her lycra; what's wrong with me?! And she had stubbly armpits too; nice. Actuually Michelle looked alright too and seemed like a good dancer; why am I saying these things?! I loved the camera panning up and down everyone's body; Verne looked good in pastels. Coolio looked like a children's TV presenter. Tina; not so much. Ben looked about as gay as anyone I've ever seen.
Coolio's takes of smuggling weed through customs didn't go down very well, did it? Terry is OBSESSED with Ulrika's fee!!! He's like Luke from last year banging on about the cheque. I feel sorry for Ulrika a bit. I think she's just naturally a bit cold and Terry has a bee in his bonnet (I wrote this before Ulrika even said it!) about her, it's almost like some inverted snobbery. I wish he'd stop because he's my fave and it's making him look a bit bad.
Tommy was a bit nosy with Verne about his dwawfism, but let's face it we all want to know. Does he have a shortened life expectancy, I wonder?
Nominations talk; on Tina's father's grave she did not mention a single name. Except... she did mention Ulrika's, didn't she? Ho hum.
How come Coolio is allowed in the house when he has a criminal record? So us plebs would be banned for that, but he's OK, because he's famous. Coolio calling women 'ho's' and 'loose women' for wearing mini-skirts is deplorable; but I'm not in the least bit surprised that Coolio doesn't get called up on it, sexism is considered perfectly acceptable in all walks of society, and if a woman even tries to defend it; well, it was nice knowing you.
Mutya let herself down by colluding with him. But again, it's very common for women to have those sorts of self-hating views. All too common, in fact. At least she had the nous to realise men don't get called those sorts of names.
Tina complaining that no one stands up to Coolio (whilst not standing up to Coolio) was tragic. I can't believe he brought up the Michelle and Ben thing again. It's just painful. Poor Ben hasn't got the gonads to fight back and Michelle seems uncharacteristically quiet. Verne was kind to her. I think he has a soft spot for her.
I thought Mutya looked cute again in her lycra; what's wrong with me?! And she had stubbly armpits too; nice. Actuually Michelle looked alright too and seemed like a good dancer; why am I saying these things?! I loved the camera panning up and down everyone's body; Verne looked good in pastels. Coolio looked like a children's TV presenter. Tina; not so much. Ben looked about as gay as anyone I've ever seen.
Coolio's takes of smuggling weed through customs didn't go down very well, did it? Terry is OBSESSED with Ulrika's fee!!! He's like Luke from last year banging on about the cheque. I feel sorry for Ulrika a bit. I think she's just naturally a bit cold and Terry has a bee in his bonnet (I wrote this before Ulrika even said it!) about her, it's almost like some inverted snobbery. I wish he'd stop because he's my fave and it's making him look a bit bad.
Tommy was a bit nosy with Verne about his dwawfism, but let's face it we all want to know. Does he have a shortened life expectancy, I wonder?
Nominations talk; on Tina's father's grave she did not mention a single name. Except... she did mention Ulrika's, didn't she? Ho hum.
Thursday, 8 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: Ready for a go
Christ, Heaton looked a little ropey without her slap on. She laboured that point about Ben once AGAIN, Coolio said sorry; what more does she want?
Coolio said Tina looked 'hot and ready for a go.' Charming as ever. Tina says, 'A lot of women need to be drunk to be able to fuck without inhibitions.' Speak for yourself, love, not womankind. You seem utterly without inhibition anyway.
After my dietary brainwashing yesterday, it struck me today that Lucy Pinder looks like a young Claire Sweeney. I hope Ulrika stays over her, although she is coming off like a cold fish at the moment. I wish she'd be a bit warmer and funny, as I know she can be.
Terry was liking his king role a lot, but I think a lot of his schtick is tongue-in-cheek and no one really holds it against him. You can get away with a lot if you have a bit of cheeky Northern charm.
I guess Ben from A4 got revenge on the girl who rinsed him on a date by calling her out on TV. I can't bring myself to hate him; but he's really just a better-looking H from Steps, no? There's nothing really going on up there. He just looks like someone I might have gone to school with; I can't get too excited by it.
Latoya in a Jester costume was very, very sinister. I didn't like that at all. And it wasn't helped when she was mentioning ho's. Ho's!!! Does ho's have an apostrophe? I have no idea.
I can't believe Ulrika slapped Terry! How funny. I'm glad they didn't make a big deal of it.
Coolio seemed more bearable today in small doses.
Tommy worrying about being 'portrayed' a certain way with Michelle was pitiful verging on worrying. How does it 'look bad' to have a dance with someone? I'd be fairly comfortable with my boyfriend hugging, giving someone a peck, lying next to someone on their bed and so on. If you are trustworthy; you can't be 'portrayed' a certain way. Because you have integrity. Ah, I see, that's the problem.; they have none.
Ooh did I see a crack in the Ulrika mask during the task? She looked upset. Tina didn't look too fookin' happy either. The reason Terry gave Ulrika for nominating her was lame. He should have just said he was jealous of the money; that was the truth, I believe that now. He made himself look a little silly there.
The fact Tommy brought that thing up again was just him trying to get attention and be sexually threatening when Michelle just sees him as a silly old man. And why was he putting on rubber gloves at the time? The mind boggles. Whichever way you dress it up; he's a creep.
Ulrika; it's kind of boring to hear you're just there to do a job and you're not going to give us any more of yourself. And maybe people WILL keep you in, just to make you suffer. Because we're accommodating like that.
Coolio said Tina looked 'hot and ready for a go.' Charming as ever. Tina says, 'A lot of women need to be drunk to be able to fuck without inhibitions.' Speak for yourself, love, not womankind. You seem utterly without inhibition anyway.
After my dietary brainwashing yesterday, it struck me today that Lucy Pinder looks like a young Claire Sweeney. I hope Ulrika stays over her, although she is coming off like a cold fish at the moment. I wish she'd be a bit warmer and funny, as I know she can be.
Terry was liking his king role a lot, but I think a lot of his schtick is tongue-in-cheek and no one really holds it against him. You can get away with a lot if you have a bit of cheeky Northern charm.
I guess Ben from A4 got revenge on the girl who rinsed him on a date by calling her out on TV. I can't bring myself to hate him; but he's really just a better-looking H from Steps, no? There's nothing really going on up there. He just looks like someone I might have gone to school with; I can't get too excited by it.
Latoya in a Jester costume was very, very sinister. I didn't like that at all. And it wasn't helped when she was mentioning ho's. Ho's!!! Does ho's have an apostrophe? I have no idea.
I can't believe Ulrika slapped Terry! How funny. I'm glad they didn't make a big deal of it.
Coolio seemed more bearable today in small doses.
Tommy worrying about being 'portrayed' a certain way with Michelle was pitiful verging on worrying. How does it 'look bad' to have a dance with someone? I'd be fairly comfortable with my boyfriend hugging, giving someone a peck, lying next to someone on their bed and so on. If you are trustworthy; you can't be 'portrayed' a certain way. Because you have integrity. Ah, I see, that's the problem.; they have none.
Ooh did I see a crack in the Ulrika mask during the task? She looked upset. Tina didn't look too fookin' happy either. The reason Terry gave Ulrika for nominating her was lame. He should have just said he was jealous of the money; that was the truth, I believe that now. He made himself look a little silly there.
The fact Tommy brought that thing up again was just him trying to get attention and be sexually threatening when Michelle just sees him as a silly old man. And why was he putting on rubber gloves at the time? The mind boggles. Whichever way you dress it up; he's a creep.
Ulrika; it's kind of boring to hear you're just there to do a job and you're not going to give us any more of yourself. And maybe people WILL keep you in, just to make you suffer. Because we're accommodating like that.
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: 2nd Live Show
I can't bear to hear Coolio talking anymore. I can't stick him. Michelle was over-reacting but Coolio is very childish and confrontational. It's weird to hear Michelle Heaton described as 'shy' and not 'drunk' or 'orange'.
It was a bit unfair during the task that Terry didn't get to clarify. It made him look a right chump. I'm not surprised everyone saved puppy-dog Ben. He does seem very NICE. *shudder*
I thought this show was a big let down personally; it wasn't particularly tense. What was the point of Davina even doing it? They should have hoofed someone out immediately.
So that was it.
PS: It suddenly struck me that Mutya looks kind of sexy with all her tattoos and stuff. Is that wrong?
It was a bit unfair during the task that Terry didn't get to clarify. It made him look a right chump. I'm not surprised everyone saved puppy-dog Ben. He does seem very NICE. *shudder*
I thought this show was a big let down personally; it wasn't particularly tense. What was the point of Davina even doing it? They should have hoofed someone out immediately.
So that was it.
PS: It suddenly struck me that Mutya looks kind of sexy with all her tattoos and stuff. Is that wrong?
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: 1st Live Show
Oh fucking hell. Tina. Shut up. Stop going on about how 'fookin' good you are in bed, or how you're 'fookin' this or that. I don't want to KNOW. Here's what you are; an obnoxious, loud, arrogant, unpleasant foghorn of a person. You're the kind of person who goes 'no, that's not the kind of person I am' when the evidence of your petty existence is laid out in front of you as if it were a mirror. Do people actually LIKE her? Who? Why? Also, I'm of the entirely medical opinion that if you're going to smoke, you damn well better eat healthy, and if you eat crap all the time (like me) you'd better not smoke. Otherwise you're just a heart attack in waiting. But far be it from me to stop you, love. Wanna light?
Did you get the feeling Terry had to do 3 nominations because Big Brother didn't like his first two? Because I did! The integrity thing was a bit mean; I felt a bit sorry for Terry. I wish he'd put Coolio up.
Big brother translation corner: 'he is a big character' equals 'he's an arsehole.' Against all my previous convictions I'm actually liking Michelle Heaton. I used to absolutely despise her when she wrote that fucking awful column in OK, it used to make my blood boil. But I guess it wasn't her fault she just took the cash. I just don't have the energy to feel angry with her at the moment.
Verne talked very eloquently about Heath Ledger, it was quite moving. La Toya's tale seemed more like a tale, even though I know a lot of it is true. Are you glad you asked, A3 dude?
I liked the fact that the task where they pretended to be each other just enabled them to rip the shit out of each other and be dead sexist. I was wondering if the Coolio orangutan comment was racist, but my boyfriend assured me as a midget Verne gets 2 racist remarks per episode free, so that's OK.
Coolio's deplorable 'you wouldn't knock that off?' comment to Ben about Michelle illustrated exactly what kind of man he is. I think Ben had been hero-worshipping Coolio up until then and it went a bit skewiff at that point. Michelle protested TOO much though; if there's nothing to go on, I'd just tell him where to stick it and leave it at that.
Terry's task backfired somewhat as all the people he chose said lovely things about him! Oops. He chose wisely I think. I think Ben will understand.
Did you get the feeling Terry had to do 3 nominations because Big Brother didn't like his first two? Because I did! The integrity thing was a bit mean; I felt a bit sorry for Terry. I wish he'd put Coolio up.
Big brother translation corner: 'he is a big character' equals 'he's an arsehole.' Against all my previous convictions I'm actually liking Michelle Heaton. I used to absolutely despise her when she wrote that fucking awful column in OK, it used to make my blood boil. But I guess it wasn't her fault she just took the cash. I just don't have the energy to feel angry with her at the moment.
Verne talked very eloquently about Heath Ledger, it was quite moving. La Toya's tale seemed more like a tale, even though I know a lot of it is true. Are you glad you asked, A3 dude?
I liked the fact that the task where they pretended to be each other just enabled them to rip the shit out of each other and be dead sexist. I was wondering if the Coolio orangutan comment was racist, but my boyfriend assured me as a midget Verne gets 2 racist remarks per episode free, so that's OK.
Coolio's deplorable 'you wouldn't knock that off?' comment to Ben about Michelle illustrated exactly what kind of man he is. I think Ben had been hero-worshipping Coolio up until then and it went a bit skewiff at that point. Michelle protested TOO much though; if there's nothing to go on, I'd just tell him where to stick it and leave it at that.
Terry's task backfired somewhat as all the people he chose said lovely things about him! Oops. He chose wisely I think. I think Ben will understand.
Monday, 5 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: I have got a great arse
Ulrika feels like 'a man in drag' and Tina has a 'great arse and a great fanny.' Have I stepped into a parallel universe? What sort of person declares they have a great arse? You'd better be a fucking supermodel if you're going to come out with that shit. 'A body from Baywatch and a face from Crimewatch' isn't funny either. I hate people who quote insipid rubbish like that.Oddly, I've kind of warmed to La Toya. She seems more genuinely naive than her brother who was on it; often I felt like he was biting his tongue whereas she seems more plausabily innocent.
Mutya's not saying much, is she? The hatred in Terry's eyes for Coolio (who had a threesome when he was 12) was pretty clear. I'd be amazed if he didn't put him up. The only reason Tina hates Coolio is because he's as self-centred as she is, and he takes the focus off her.
Grotbags does look like the thing from Shrek, except the thing from Shrek is more attractive. Haha, and she knew all the lyrics to Gangsta's Paradise. Tragic.
I liked Ulrika's speech. She has the courage of her convictions; and that's admirable. Men have children left, right and centre (and leave them with their various mothers to bring up) and no one bats an eyelid, she's a target purely because she has a fanny.
Mutya sounded flat, but not as flat as Michelle Heaton. She made Chantelle seem like a legitimate girl band member. I could sing better than that. La Toya added to the feel of someone's sister singing into a hairbrush. The A5 fella was beyond parody. Lucy should have just got her boobs out rather than bored us with her kind of, views on politics, kind of. Zzzz. Get rid of her, Terry. Tommy shouty-man was also mega annoying. Be good to get rid of him too, sooner rather than later.
Ah, Terry nominated Lucy. Fair enough I suppose; having boobs isn't really a talent so much as a direct consequence of being female. So will go out of her and Ulrika-ka-ka? Both 'sex-positive' women, so I'm sure both will be equally hated by the throng. And in the meantime, Coolio goes on boasting about his conquests and no one says a word, because hey, that's his birthright.
Sigh.
Sunday, 4 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: I'll wash my nuts in the sink
Yes, finally something to write about!
Urgh; well I was right about Tina, wasn't I? Talking about her fee; crass! What is Terry only got 30K after she said that was a pittance? How uncouth. Talking about her weight; zzz! She's 'anti-fat'? She don't look it. She lost 4 stone already? Shiiiiit. Calling herself a bird; pathetic! I hope she doesn't drag Terry Christian down with her. Even her own daughter said on BBLB she hoped that her mum would 'bite her tongue'.
Could there be a least useful housemate than Tommy? Like Brian Paddick in I'm a Celeb... he sucks the fun out of any given situation. Humour-voids r us. Watching him letch over Lucy wasn't great either.
Haha, Terry saying Coolio had a nightmare about the sales of his last album. Ulrika doesn't seem to like Coolio too much. I'm not sure if I do either.
Tina. 'You give out what you get back.' Oh, the old karma argument. How I love it. I guess Maddy Mcann's parents must have been some school bullies, hey? You dumbasses! Life is a series of random events which may end one day with you being splattered over a pavement, or splattered into a car window, or if you're really lucky, with the death of everyone you've ever known before the gradual rotting of all your bodily organs, including your FACE. So go shove your karma up your fucking arse with the fairies, and the ghosts, and God, and all of those fairytales that keep you warm at night. (soz, I'm in a bad mood; I've got tonsillitis again and spent half the day in casualty- poor me!)
Did Tina mention she'd lost weight? Did she mention she's doing alright for money now? Her and La Toya seemed like they were having a competition about who was the hardest done by, but neither of them were listening to a word the other was saying. So you both married abusive bastards? Did the karma fairy dish out those love matches for you? As a feminist I felt weirdly unmoved. I'll blame it on the Nurofen.
Tina ass-licking La Toya about Michael was as pathetic as it was transparent. I think (hope) Terry is onto her and won't let the Northern comraderie distort his vision. Her swearing is really too much as well; I know I like a bit of it, (in an artistic context- ha!) but I wouldn't f-and-blind in front of La Toya Jackson, because she seems too demure.
Interesting Terry put Ulrika up; I bet the producers are shitting themselves about that one. What is his motivation? I think he finds her a bit stand-offish. Maybe he sees her as competition? Maybe he heard about her pay packet for BB? I will leave my options open on that one.
If I had a choice between the FA Cup and hot water, I'd pick the FA Cup and I hate football, just cos it's something to do. You can wash in cold water! I frequently do in my flat. It's like a lucky dip if I get a hot bath or not. Why does that 'fat bird' (her words not mine) consider her shower so important? She physically repulsive anyway, and it's all to do with her manner, not her body size. Mmm, nice fag stash. Cough cough.
Ulrika's face looks a bit puffy. Why is she always wearing that coat? She was wearing a coat and scarf in bed last night. Oh dear; she might be cracking up already. Not a good sign. Bit disappointed that she's moaning already.
I liked Verne educating Coolio on Cockney rhyming slang. Hold up, what's a spooge? I need educating in reverse. He looked cute on the diary room chair. He seems quite pensive. I wonder what he thinks to everyone?
And that concludes my third blog of the day. I should be bed-ridden more often.
Urgh; well I was right about Tina, wasn't I? Talking about her fee; crass! What is Terry only got 30K after she said that was a pittance? How uncouth. Talking about her weight; zzz! She's 'anti-fat'? She don't look it. She lost 4 stone already? Shiiiiit. Calling herself a bird; pathetic! I hope she doesn't drag Terry Christian down with her. Even her own daughter said on BBLB she hoped that her mum would 'bite her tongue'.
Could there be a least useful housemate than Tommy? Like Brian Paddick in I'm a Celeb... he sucks the fun out of any given situation. Humour-voids r us. Watching him letch over Lucy wasn't great either.
Haha, Terry saying Coolio had a nightmare about the sales of his last album. Ulrika doesn't seem to like Coolio too much. I'm not sure if I do either.
Tina. 'You give out what you get back.' Oh, the old karma argument. How I love it. I guess Maddy Mcann's parents must have been some school bullies, hey? You dumbasses! Life is a series of random events which may end one day with you being splattered over a pavement, or splattered into a car window, or if you're really lucky, with the death of everyone you've ever known before the gradual rotting of all your bodily organs, including your FACE. So go shove your karma up your fucking arse with the fairies, and the ghosts, and God, and all of those fairytales that keep you warm at night. (soz, I'm in a bad mood; I've got tonsillitis again and spent half the day in casualty- poor me!)
Did Tina mention she'd lost weight? Did she mention she's doing alright for money now? Her and La Toya seemed like they were having a competition about who was the hardest done by, but neither of them were listening to a word the other was saying. So you both married abusive bastards? Did the karma fairy dish out those love matches for you? As a feminist I felt weirdly unmoved. I'll blame it on the Nurofen.
Tina ass-licking La Toya about Michael was as pathetic as it was transparent. I think (hope) Terry is onto her and won't let the Northern comraderie distort his vision. Her swearing is really too much as well; I know I like a bit of it, (in an artistic context- ha!) but I wouldn't f-and-blind in front of La Toya Jackson, because she seems too demure.
Interesting Terry put Ulrika up; I bet the producers are shitting themselves about that one. What is his motivation? I think he finds her a bit stand-offish. Maybe he sees her as competition? Maybe he heard about her pay packet for BB? I will leave my options open on that one.
If I had a choice between the FA Cup and hot water, I'd pick the FA Cup and I hate football, just cos it's something to do. You can wash in cold water! I frequently do in my flat. It's like a lucky dip if I get a hot bath or not. Why does that 'fat bird' (her words not mine) consider her shower so important? She physically repulsive anyway, and it's all to do with her manner, not her body size. Mmm, nice fag stash. Cough cough.
Ulrika's face looks a bit puffy. Why is she always wearing that coat? She was wearing a coat and scarf in bed last night. Oh dear; she might be cracking up already. Not a good sign. Bit disappointed that she's moaning already.
I liked Verne educating Coolio on Cockney rhyming slang. Hold up, what's a spooge? I need educating in reverse. He looked cute on the diary room chair. He seems quite pensive. I wonder what he thinks to everyone?
And that concludes my third blog of the day. I should be bed-ridden more often.
Saturday, 3 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: One arsehole in every group
May I nominate that woman from Shameless? She is doing my nut in and I've only heard her speak twice. VULGAR!
I liked Coolio saying to Verne; 'last time I saw you you were pissed at me.' and he hurt his hip! Intriguing. I reckon they'll come to blows at some point. There's history there.
I didn't like the way that Scottish guy looked at Ulrika when she came in; predatory.
Terry did well to be selfless and go without a bed as it made him head of house and got him his own room. Sweet. I definitely like him the best so far.
La Toya and her platitudes are absolutely teeth-grating. If life is that perfect; why did you deface your mug so much? You're lying! She seems a bit haunted. I can't see her snogging anyone.
Tommy calling Verne 'brother' (and boy!) has echoes of Mario/Mikey. Ulrika ill-advisedly comparing her back problem to Verne's dwarfism was a little... misjudged. Similarly, Terry Christian comparing his level of fame to La Toya's didn't quite go. I think she has problems he couldn't dream of.
All in all quite a slow start to the show; but I'm willing to give it time to cook. Hopefully by this time tomorrow there'll be a murder.
I liked Coolio saying to Verne; 'last time I saw you you were pissed at me.' and he hurt his hip! Intriguing. I reckon they'll come to blows at some point. There's history there.
I didn't like the way that Scottish guy looked at Ulrika when she came in; predatory.
Terry did well to be selfless and go without a bed as it made him head of house and got him his own room. Sweet. I definitely like him the best so far.
La Toya and her platitudes are absolutely teeth-grating. If life is that perfect; why did you deface your mug so much? You're lying! She seems a bit haunted. I can't see her snogging anyone.
Tommy calling Verne 'brother' (and boy!) has echoes of Mario/Mikey. Ulrika ill-advisedly comparing her back problem to Verne's dwarfism was a little... misjudged. Similarly, Terry Christian comparing his level of fame to La Toya's didn't quite go. I think she has problems he couldn't dream of.
All in all quite a slow start to the show; but I'm willing to give it time to cook. Hopefully by this time tomorrow there'll be a murder.
Friday, 2 January 2009
Celebrity Big Brother 2009: Launch Night
So it's back. Hurrah! Jade couldn't kill it with her mightly, ugly mouth. Davina wearing Pete Burns old coat. Davina's tour of the house; zzzz. Do we care about the tokens? No. Nice throws, though.
La Toya. That other Jackson dude was pretty dull so why would this one be any different? They are so desperate for publicity but have nothing to offer except funny noses and a creepy upbringing. I'd rather see some dumbass page 3 girl in there (which I'm sure will happen). Note: very grating laugh.
Mutya! I reckon she'll be alright. At least she has a personality. Leg tattoos! Why not? I wouldn't fuck with her.
Mini Me makes me feel a bit sick. Isn't he in a porno? He's my least favourite dwarf; I prefer the one in Bad Santa. Got a cheer just cos he's a midget! Special entrance! Aw. I've warmed to him already. Don't patronise him Davina, he's small, not stupid (well he could be stupid, I'll keep my options open).
Tommy. Scottish politician. PVC bondage gear. Only one of these things is interesting, and it's the one that's not true (allegedly). Lucy Pinder. Oh, the dumbass I spoke of. A tory page 3 girl! Double idiot. 2 a-levels?! I take it all back, the girl is a genius.
Why are they all obsessed with reading that card when they come in? Oh, so they don't have to talk to each other, right.
Next, Ben Adams from A5. I'd be more excited if they had a member of Bewitched in there. Curtained charisma void.
Tina from Shameless. Mentioned she was fat twice. Yeah, we can see you, you don't need to announce it. I don't watch it. I'm not that impressed with these celebrities so far. How long before someone describes her as bubbly? Bring on Ulrika-ka-ka-ka!
Next up was Coolio. He looks a bit rough. His eyeballs look a wee bit boggly. I hate to cast aspersions but I'd say there were a few drugs available in the Gangsta's Paradise. Weird mask/ condom type thing on his head.
Michelle Heaton! Everyone's least favourite Liberty X-er. Actually, she was more famous to me for trying to force her boyfriend to marry her via the pages of OK for about 3 years (even dressing up in wedding dresses, I seem to recall- subtle!) When she finally pushed him into it; it lasted about ten minutes. I think she'll be good value; she was knickerless and pissed on celebrity Come Dine With Me and that was a mere 60 minutes. She was the first interesting housemate since Mutya.
Terry Christian is alright. I always kind of liked him. I wonder what he's been doing all this time? He still looks quite young. What are they booing him for? Bring on the zombies to eat the chavs! I predict an early winner.
And finally, Ulrika-ka-ka-ka. Sven-shagger extraordinaire. My mum HATES Ulrika, cos she fancies John Leslie. I think John Leslie is a creepy cunt and I liked Ulrika from Shooting Stars days (that special was good the other night, wasn't it?) She looks kind of skinny and bloated-faced and weird in the clip, but good when she faced the crowd. I think she'll be OK.
And that's it. A crushing disappointment as always, but give it a day or two to settle, and there'll either be a race riot or a fist-fight, fingers crossed.
La Toya. That other Jackson dude was pretty dull so why would this one be any different? They are so desperate for publicity but have nothing to offer except funny noses and a creepy upbringing. I'd rather see some dumbass page 3 girl in there (which I'm sure will happen). Note: very grating laugh.
Mutya! I reckon she'll be alright. At least she has a personality. Leg tattoos! Why not? I wouldn't fuck with her.
Mini Me makes me feel a bit sick. Isn't he in a porno? He's my least favourite dwarf; I prefer the one in Bad Santa. Got a cheer just cos he's a midget! Special entrance! Aw. I've warmed to him already. Don't patronise him Davina, he's small, not stupid (well he could be stupid, I'll keep my options open).
Tommy. Scottish politician. PVC bondage gear. Only one of these things is interesting, and it's the one that's not true (allegedly). Lucy Pinder. Oh, the dumbass I spoke of. A tory page 3 girl! Double idiot. 2 a-levels?! I take it all back, the girl is a genius.
Why are they all obsessed with reading that card when they come in? Oh, so they don't have to talk to each other, right.
Next, Ben Adams from A5. I'd be more excited if they had a member of Bewitched in there. Curtained charisma void.
Tina from Shameless. Mentioned she was fat twice. Yeah, we can see you, you don't need to announce it. I don't watch it. I'm not that impressed with these celebrities so far. How long before someone describes her as bubbly? Bring on Ulrika-ka-ka-ka!
Next up was Coolio. He looks a bit rough. His eyeballs look a wee bit boggly. I hate to cast aspersions but I'd say there were a few drugs available in the Gangsta's Paradise. Weird mask/ condom type thing on his head.
Michelle Heaton! Everyone's least favourite Liberty X-er. Actually, she was more famous to me for trying to force her boyfriend to marry her via the pages of OK for about 3 years (even dressing up in wedding dresses, I seem to recall- subtle!) When she finally pushed him into it; it lasted about ten minutes. I think she'll be good value; she was knickerless and pissed on celebrity Come Dine With Me and that was a mere 60 minutes. She was the first interesting housemate since Mutya.
Terry Christian is alright. I always kind of liked him. I wonder what he's been doing all this time? He still looks quite young. What are they booing him for? Bring on the zombies to eat the chavs! I predict an early winner.
And finally, Ulrika-ka-ka-ka. Sven-shagger extraordinaire. My mum HATES Ulrika, cos she fancies John Leslie. I think John Leslie is a creepy cunt and I liked Ulrika from Shooting Stars days (that special was good the other night, wasn't it?) She looks kind of skinny and bloated-faced and weird in the clip, but good when she faced the crowd. I think she'll be OK.
And that's it. A crushing disappointment as always, but give it a day or two to settle, and there'll either be a race riot or a fist-fight, fingers crossed.
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